The death of his friend Adam, a severely handicapped young man, spurred Henry Nouwen to write this book. He discovered that by reflecting on the story of this young man, he had found a way to describe his own understanding of the Gospel message. In "Adam", a book completed only weeks before his own death, Nouwen has left a fitting reflection of his own essential message and legacy.
Henri Jozef Machiel Nouwen was a Dutch Catholic priest, theologian, psychologist, professor, and spiritual writer whose work profoundly shaped contemporary Christian spirituality. Born in Nijkerk, the Netherlands, in 1932, Nouwen pursued religious studies and was ordained a priest in 1957. His intellectual curiosity led him to study psychology at the Catholic University of Nijmegen and later at the Menninger Clinic in Kansas, where he explored the connection between faith and mental health. Throughout his life, Nouwen remained committed to integrating pastoral care, psychology, and spiritual theology in a way that addressed the emotional and existential needs of believers. Nouwen held teaching positions at prestigious institutions including the University of Notre Dame, Yale Divinity School, and Harvard Divinity School. He authored over three dozen books and hundreds of articles, with notable works such as The Wounded Healer, The Return of the Prodigal Son, Life of the Beloved, and The Inner Voice of Love. His writing, often rooted in personal vulnerability and spiritual struggle, resonated with readers across denominations. Nouwen openly explored themes of loneliness, identity, intimacy, and the human desire for love and belonging, making his voice especially relatable and influential. Though he was a gifted academic and popular speaker, Nouwen found his deepest calling later in life through his involvement with L’Arche, a network of communities for people with intellectual and developmental disabilities. After a transformative stay at the original L’Arche community in France, Nouwen accepted an invitation to become the pastor of L’Arche Daybreak in Richmond Hill, Ontario. There he developed a close bond with Adam Arnett, a core member with severe disabilities, which inspired the book Adam: God’s Beloved. At Daybreak, Nouwen discovered a deep spiritual home and a community that helped him embrace his humanity in profound ways. Throughout his life, Nouwen wrestled with issues of identity, including his sexuality and his longing for connection, though he remained faithful to his vows. His openness about depression and inner conflict gave depth to his pastoral message, and his ability to turn personal struggle into shared spiritual insight made him one of the most beloved spiritual writers of the 20th century. Henri Nouwen died in 1996 of a sudden heart attack, but his legacy endures through his writings, the Henri Nouwen Society, and the continued global reach of his message of belovedness, vulnerability, and compassionate community. His books remain bestsellers, widely read in seminaries, churches, and among individuals seeking a more intimate walk with God.
His OWN faults. His OWN weaknesses. His OWN craziness. Admitting these, he found his submerged and forgotten Eden.
His own complete and wounded humanity.
In many ways, it was his Final threshold. For he crossed that last threshold to his Own Release from this sorry world soon after being with Adam.
In his End was his Beginning. And what is Eternity but ever-changing, multifarious New Beginnings?
All our beginnings are an eternal taking leave of All our sad endings... And this fresh start in Nouwen’s help and work with Adam was what we so naively call his end.
Naively, because for Henri Nouwen - finally seeing it was NOT a case of what HE could do for this hopeless case called Adam, but what ADAM could do for his own Ailing self - life was no longer a Ruin, but a process of Eternal Change in the Newness of Heaven.
And Peace had found him at last.
We would rather be ruined than changed: We would rather die in our dread Than climb on the Cross of the Moment And let our Illusions die.
Yes, at that final moment of Meeting Ourselves, we only Think we are Ruined...
But we are CHANGED. And at rest, finally.
For WE were previously our own Medusa, towards whom - like Perseus - we continually held up the Shining Shield of Our Indomitably Stubborn Will - and MISSED being Transformed!
We were RUNNING from ourselves.
But that moment when we kill our own leering, grinning Minotaur in the depths of our Labyrinth - our Ego - we find True Life.
We are defenceless humanity itself.
Nothing to be ashamed of.
Our true life is ONLY the Present Moment. The present moment of life here and now, or the Eternal Present Moment of Paradise - it makes little difference!
And so Nouwen finally found Meaning - Pure Being - in this broken, incomprehensible kid named Adam.
And so, reaching the end of his life, Nouwen discovered Total Peace and Newness of Life..
And the summit of his self-recovery -
In his Real, Original Self:
For he had finally learned to Befriend his own Brokenness.
And in doing so, had finally yielded that brokenness over to the One who had Borne Brokenness’ Unbearably Totalized Full Brunt.
Adam: God's Beloved was a beautiful read. I've been longing to read some Henri Nouwen after repeatedly encountering excerpts of his and I found this title at the college library.
This is the final book he wrote before passing away and it describes his experiences at L'Arche Daybreak Community. He served as their chaplain and was paired with Adam, one of the residents there; Henri was expected to wake up Adam and get him ready for the day. Adam was severely handicapped and couldn't speak, and Henri was intimidated with the responsibility in the beginning, but he credits Adam with transforming his faith. He sees Adam as a parallel to the biblical Adam.
Nouwen's insights were thoughtful and heartfelt:
"Could Adam pray? Did he know who God is and what the Name of Jesus means? Did he understand the mystery of God among us? For a long time I thought about these questions. For a long time I was curious about how much of what I knew, Adam could know, and how much of what I understood, Adam could understand. But now I see that these were for me questions from 'below,' questions that reflected more my anxiety and uncertainty than God's love. God's questions, the questions from 'above' were, 'Can you let Adam lead you into prayer? Can you believe that I am in deep communion with Adam and that his life is a prayer? Can you let Adam be a living prayer at your table? Can you see my face in the face of Adam?'" (page 55)
I found myself wanting to mark down passage after passage, no small feat for a short book. Adam transformed Nouwen's life and the lives of several people he encountered, even if only for a meal, that it's easy to see why Nouwen held him in such esteem.
At one point Nouwen mentions being disappointed in a peer who accused him of throwing his life away and doing such demeaning work that he wasn't trained for when he should be preaching and writing in ways that would have more impact. That would be an easy reaction to have, but Nouwen allowed himself to get past any self-importance and see Adam for who he was and what he could reveal about our true vocations. In their exchanges, even as Adam wasn't verbal, Nouwen humbled himself and opened himself up to learn from Adam, to the point that when Adam died, Nouwen has this to say:
"I couldn't stop gazing at his face. I thought, 'Here is the man who more than anyone connected me with my inner self, my community, and my God. Here is the man I was asked to care for, but who took me into his life and into his heart in such an incredibly deep way. Yes, I had cared for him during my first year at Daybreak and had come to love him so much, but he has been such an invaluable gift to me. Here is my counselor, my teacher, and my guide, who could never say a word to me but taught me more than any book, professor, or spiritual director.'" (page 101)
A lovely spiritual book that highlights an often forgotten image of the divine, the God of passion more than a God of action. Nouwen proclaims the gospel of vulnerability, and how the divine life may properly fit into the life of every person--even from people whose physical condition makes us almost impossible to think of holiness, like the severely handicapped Adam who had become for Nouwen a friend, mentor, an image of God during his stay at L'Arche Daybreak Community in Toronto, Canada. Nouwen, through the many encounters of people with Adam, invites us to rethink the very notion of holiness to which all baptized are called: a life wherein there is more of God, and less of the ego.
Some people that review this say that they wanted more. But that is the opposite of what the book is. It is about the life of a young disabled man that, because of his disability, somehow brings others closer to God. It is his very limited ability that serves that purpose - the emptiness of opening yourself to God.
As the father of a disabled son I identify with much of what is in the book. My son is not as disabled as Adam but many people have the same reaction. Maybe that is why I found the simpleness of the narrative so inviting.
A beautiful moving account of the life of Adam, Nouwen’s severely disabled friend, showing how much he had impacted and showed Nouwen more of Jesus and the love of God. I felt he perhaps went slightly far with how much he turned Adam into a type of Christ and felt a little uneasy with how many Scriptures about Christ he used for Adam’s own life. But the heart and essence of the message was still really good, and an important and needed perspective.
Dit boek gaat over de bijzondere vriendschap tussen Henri Nouwen en Adam. Adam is zwaar gehandicapt en wordt verzorgd door Henri. De rollen zijj echter niet zo zwart-wit als het lijkt. Henri komt achter zijn eigen handicaps en Adam is er om hem dingen te leren, te leiden en te inspireren. De vrede die van Adam uit ging is zo bijzonder, dat Henri iets in Hem ervoer van Jezus Zelf.
A beautiful, beautiful book. Very short and simply told, this biography by Nouwen interweaves the life of his friend Adam, who was severely handicapped and died in his mid-thirties, with the life of Jesus. The chapters reflect these parallels:
Adam's Hidden Life Adam's Desert Adam's Public Life Adam's Way Adam's Passion Adam's Death Adam's Wake and Burial Adam's Resurrection Adam's Spirit
The chapter on Adam's Passion—when he became seriously ill and lost what little ability and agency he'd had—moved me the most. Nouwen defines passion as suffering that we undergo and that is done to us, the opposite of action or the things we choose to do. "Adam's whole life was passion, a life of suffering, in which he underwent everything that was done for him, to him, with him, and around him," he writes. Jesus, too, had a season of passion, and I'd never thought to compare these two parts of his life the way Nouwen does: "But at Gethsemane—the Garden of Olives—all this action came to a sudden end. There Jesus was handed over by one of his own disciples to undergo suffering. From that moment on he could no longer do anything; everything was done to him. … He was only acted upon. It was pure passion."
In their passions, both Adam and Jesus unveil for us the truth about our lives and the hope of how to live them in the face of such finitude:
"The truth is that a very large, if not the largest, part of our lives is passion. Although we all want to act on our own, to be independent and self-sufficient, we are for long periods of time dependent on other people's decisions. Not only when we are young and inexperienced or when we are old and needy but also when we are strong and self-reliant. Substantial parts of our success, wealth, health, and relationships are influenced by events and circumstances over which we have little or no control. ... That, to me, is the final significance of Adam's passion: a radical call to accept the truth of our lives and to choose to give our love when we are strong and to receive the love of others when we are weak, always with tranquility and generosity."
I will be thinking about those words for a long time.
This book pulls together strong personal and academic interests of mine, and it does so in the format that is the most moving and convicting for me: through the flesh-and-blood story of a man with deep physical limitations.
I resonate with Nouwen: "My many words, spoken or written, always tempted me to go up into lofty ideas and perspectives without keeping in touch with the dailiness and beauty of ordinary life." And so, like Nouwen, I need a teacher like Adam: "Adam didn't allow this. It was as if he said to me, 'Not only do you have a body like I do, Henri, but you are your body. Don't let your words become separated from your flesh. Your words must become and remain your flesh.'”
Highly recommended for anyone who wants to know what it could be to live as, in the words of the subtitle, "God's beloved."
I had to let this book sit with me for a day or so before I really felt like I could reflect on it well. It is truly such a beautiful work. As someone who works and lives closely with disability, there were so many of Nouwen’s words that filled my eyes with tears. He paints disability in all of its pain, suffering, beauty, and joy, with such reverence. As you come to know Adam you come to know the deep, genuine friendship that Nouwen shared with him. It’s the type of intimate friendship that is so hard to find. He sometimes would describe it as a bonding of the souls and other times he was at a loss of words on how to describe it, in both cases I deeply understood what he was trying to say about the special bond he shared and wrote about so beautifully. He compares Adam’s life to Jesus’ life in ways that drew me closer to God, being able to connect with Adam and Henri’s lives so well. Adam’s passion was by far the most moving piece of the story. The way Nouwen describes the pain and suffering that Adam had to endure his whole life and the parallels to Jesus’ time on the cross shed a whole new light on disability in the eyes of God. What a blessing it is to have a God who uses what we perceive as broken, to glorify Him. One of my favorite scenes in the book was when a woman came to Adam’s feet and wanted to pray for his healing and someone stopped her saying that he does not need healing, he is perfect the way that he is. What a perfect scene! Just so full of truth. So empowering to read. I also loved when Henri started talking about how he began seeing himself as handicapped. He may not have had a handicapped body but in so many other ways he was handicapped, needing personal and spiritual aid from all those around him. I will need to sit with this longer but those are my thoughts for now. Yet another wonderful recommendation from my dear Kate!
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
"It was as if Adam gave me the freedom to let these questions emerge within me. It was as if he said, 'Don't be afraid, Henri. Let my death help you to befriend yours. When you are no longer afraid of your own death, then you can live fully, freely, and joyfully.'"
This book put words to some of the most profound lessons my sister ever taught me. In his discussion of dependency, peaceful presence, and grief, I felt Allie in these pages: God's beloved.
This should be required reading for anybody that is a parent, caregiver, or serves in some ministry capacity. Nouwen is a beautiful writer with simple prose that is easily understood. If I didn't have a busy family, I would have finished this in one sitting! He gives tremendous meaning and value to what it means to care for another person and how we can learn and be changed through the process.
This is my third time reading this book and every time I read it I learn something new. I cannot recommend this book highly enough. Adam changed Henri Nouwen’s life and by sitting with Adam in reading this book he has challenged my life in every reading. I teach a college course on disability, society, and the church and this is an annual reading requirement.
This book was beautiful. Henri Nouwen is a professor and priest who wrote over 40 books. When he told his friends he was going to live at L’arche, a community where people with cognitive disabilities live alongside their caregivers in a mutually reciprocal community, people thought he was wasting his gifts on people that wouldn’t be able to understand. This book tells the story of Adam, a nonverbal man with epilepsy, and the incredible friendship they formed. Henri would say that there is no other person who taught him more about God and life than Adam, all without words. This book helped tease out many of the things I’ve experienced in caring for Avonlea. The world pities people like her when in fact she has so many virtues the rest of us work so hard for. She is patient and gentle and is fully present with the person sitting in front of her. Without an agenda, she is changing and guiding me.
It was a nice, sweet story honoring the life of a very special man. I appreciated how the author presented his friend, Adam, not just as “I was privileged to be like Jesus and serve this man with special needs” but how the author described all the ways in which Adam was like Jesus, and how Adam taught the author so much about Jesus and the author’s own limitations.
The book read like a very simple retelling of Adam’s life, and the impact he had on those around him.
Nouwen wrote so tenderly about Adam I found myself tearing up a bit throughout the book. Nouwen drew several parallels between Adam's life and the life of Jesus which I appreciated, but wished he went on to elaborate/ clarify a bit more in certain parts. Overall an honest tribute with a sometimes stream of consciousness feel.
There was no putting this book down after picking it up. What an incredibly beautiful picture of Christ’s life made tangible through the life of Adam. I have a feeling this will be a book I return to again and again.
When it comes to great minds like Tozer and Nouwen, I often get lost in their descriptions of God while they are discussing how His reality works in our lives. To me, they are similar to the Apostle Paul, in this way. They have something amazing to say, but my single minded brain can't track two paths at once. I can either focus on hearing what they have to say about how God works in the world or they're plentiful descriptions of the character of God.
This book had very little of that surprisingly, and the parts that did hover on the character of God, were felt on a more personal level to me because of the story that surrounded them.