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Broken Open: How Difficult Times Can Help Us Grow
“If we can stay awake when our lives are changing, secrets will be revealed to us—secrets about ourselves, about the nature of life, and about the eternal source of happiness and peace that is always available, always renewable, already within us.”
—ELIZABETH LESSER
During times of transition, amid everyday stress, and even when we face seemingly insurmountable adversity, life offers us a choice: to turn away from change or to embrace it; to shut down or to be broken open and transformed. In the more than twenty-five years since she cofounded the Omega Institute—now the world’s largest personal-growth and spiritual retreat center—Elizabeth Lesser has been an intimate witness to the ways in which human beings deal with change, loss, and difficulty. She herself has struggled to submit to what she calls the “Phoenix Process”— allowing herself to be broken open in order to rise like the mythical bird from the ashes of past mistakes and suffering.
In this beautifully written, often funny, and always inspiring book, Lesser has gathered together true stories about ordinary people who by design or disaster decided to step boldly into a fuller life. Here are profoundly moving narratives of fears overcome and risks taken; of hard times and difficult passages; of betrayal, divorce, sickness, and death; and of the day-to-day challenges of raising children, earning a living, and growing older. By sharing her own most human traits, Lesser helps us feel less lonely in our own struggles, and more optimistic about the possibility of transformation. Broken Open also introduces us to some of the world’s greatest spiritual teachers—both ancient and living—and imparts the wisdom of various traditions, from Buddhist meditation to Sufi dance, and from Christian prayer to contemporary psychotherapy. Eminently practical, Lesser provides tools to support us in our quest for a clearer sense of purpose and a new passion for life.
Broken Open is not only a testament to the inner richness and potential of every life but also a deeply trustworthy guide to the dynamics of healing and growth—how we resist and how we surrender, how we stay stuck and how we grow, and how we can turn misfortune into insight, and grief into joy. It helps us to discover within ourselves a fearless heart, a clear mind, and a shining soul.
—ELIZABETH LESSER
During times of transition, amid everyday stress, and even when we face seemingly insurmountable adversity, life offers us a choice: to turn away from change or to embrace it; to shut down or to be broken open and transformed. In the more than twenty-five years since she cofounded the Omega Institute—now the world’s largest personal-growth and spiritual retreat center—Elizabeth Lesser has been an intimate witness to the ways in which human beings deal with change, loss, and difficulty. She herself has struggled to submit to what she calls the “Phoenix Process”— allowing herself to be broken open in order to rise like the mythical bird from the ashes of past mistakes and suffering.
In this beautifully written, often funny, and always inspiring book, Lesser has gathered together true stories about ordinary people who by design or disaster decided to step boldly into a fuller life. Here are profoundly moving narratives of fears overcome and risks taken; of hard times and difficult passages; of betrayal, divorce, sickness, and death; and of the day-to-day challenges of raising children, earning a living, and growing older. By sharing her own most human traits, Lesser helps us feel less lonely in our own struggles, and more optimistic about the possibility of transformation. Broken Open also introduces us to some of the world’s greatest spiritual teachers—both ancient and living—and imparts the wisdom of various traditions, from Buddhist meditation to Sufi dance, and from Christian prayer to contemporary psychotherapy. Eminently practical, Lesser provides tools to support us in our quest for a clearer sense of purpose and a new passion for life.
Broken Open is not only a testament to the inner richness and potential of every life but also a deeply trustworthy guide to the dynamics of healing and growth—how we resist and how we surrender, how we stay stuck and how we grow, and how we can turn misfortune into insight, and grief into joy. It helps us to discover within ourselves a fearless heart, a clear mind, and a shining soul.
1 pages, unabridged audio download
First published May 4, 2004
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 549 reviews
April 21, 2008
Oh my God!!! This book changed my life!!! Hell it MAY have saved it. I was homeless in New York and going through a really rough time in my life and this book was constantly by my side as my companion, my friend, my pillow (sometimes), my hope, my inspiration and maybe even my savior. I cannot say enough about it. Maybe it was just me and my extrordinary circumstances that made this book such an amazing thing for me but i definitely think it was more than that. I am not the same person i was before reading it. In a a very good way. I feel i am a better person for having read it and really 'hearing' its 'message' if you will. Highly recommended spiritual/self helf (and otherwise) reading. KUDO. NAMASTE. PEACE. MAKTUB.
June 8, 2015
An alright self-help book about how we can use difficult times to grow. Elizabeth Lesser, co-founder of the Omega Institute known for spiritual retreat and personal growth, shares her own story of loss as well as the journeys of those she has encountered through her work. She mixes theory with memoir with metaphor to address difficult experiences and the potential pockets of revitalization these types of trials can bring.
I wanted a little more definition from this book. While Lesser took a nuanced approach to her storytelling, I found myself glossing over certain sections of Broken Open because of their circularity. I would have gotten more wisdom from this book if Lesser had connected more of her themes together in a concrete way. And while I agree that certain meanings and feelings transcend words, I thought Broken Open veered into New Age, wish-washy territories at times.
Overall, this book might inspire at least one person, and just one makes it worth it. Not the first book I would recommend to someone going through a tough time, but perhaps I would share it with people who dig self-help books. Of course, I always appreciate the general theme of resilience in times of hardship.
I wanted a little more definition from this book. While Lesser took a nuanced approach to her storytelling, I found myself glossing over certain sections of Broken Open because of their circularity. I would have gotten more wisdom from this book if Lesser had connected more of her themes together in a concrete way. And while I agree that certain meanings and feelings transcend words, I thought Broken Open veered into New Age, wish-washy territories at times.
Overall, this book might inspire at least one person, and just one makes it worth it. Not the first book I would recommend to someone going through a tough time, but perhaps I would share it with people who dig self-help books. Of course, I always appreciate the general theme of resilience in times of hardship.
September 16, 2010
I borrowed this from a friend who tends to be what I consider over the top wacky spiritual. Watching her move through life, easily make friends and enjoy what I so often take for granted is amazing and makes me a little jealous all the while resisting and occasionally mocking.
Thankfully this book was believable and down to earth which allowed my over logical mentality to connect to the writing. Lesser writes beautifully about her experiences (not quite as well when making generalities). The quotes and poetry at the beginning of the chapters were part of my favorite bits and inspired a few additional book purchases. I also bought a copy of this book for myself so, now that I have to give it back to my friend, I will always be able to go back to remind myself to breath and be open to change.
Yes, I'm rereading this book. Its quick and positive. Glad I bought my own copy.
Thankfully this book was believable and down to earth which allowed my over logical mentality to connect to the writing. Lesser writes beautifully about her experiences (not quite as well when making generalities). The quotes and poetry at the beginning of the chapters were part of my favorite bits and inspired a few additional book purchases. I also bought a copy of this book for myself so, now that I have to give it back to my friend, I will always be able to go back to remind myself to breath and be open to change.
Yes, I'm rereading this book. Its quick and positive. Glad I bought my own copy.
September 20, 2011
Full of hope and excited to begin reading this book, as the title seemed promising, especially when one feels so broken at the tragic loss of a family member. The book had me realize that I am human, and accepted myself with all my flaws, because what I consider flaws are not bad, it's just being human, and being human is good. I have negative thoughts, ugly, bad, mean, etc. But I'm not a bad person. Author goes on to explain that "we are all bozos on the bus. There is no cool crowd bus where people have everything together and life is easy" Another way of saying, the grass is greener on the other side. However, somewhere after the half-marker point, the author shares a BIG detail about her divorce. A detail I felt changes the whole introduction of the book, changes the trust and confidence I found in the author as an expert in writing such material. After that point, she went on writing about her children, and step children - none of which I can relate to. In retrospect, I feel the author wrote this book to forgive herself and her conscience of the adultery she committed - which led to her divorce, which broke her open. She wrote the beginning of her book as though her husband and her were some horrible match after many years of marriage, and that she was struggling to keep the marriage together, having the reader infer the husband is not trying if she is struggling so much. But in fact, he had nothing to do with it, she cheater - not him. She was battling her own thoughts of herself. I had to re-evaluate my thoughts about the book and the author. I realized the author is not handing out priceless advise, she is looking to heal herself, and maybe adulteress such as herself. I immediately started skimming through the book at that point to the end. Copied the chapter "Before and After" (which is a letter one of her students had written to her), kept it, and tossed the book to the back of my library. Broken Open: How Difficult Times Can Help Us Grow
February 3, 2009
If you're wanting to learn how to cope with life's trials, this book is an excellent tool to teach you how to do just that. Its not so much a self-help book, but more of an instruction manual on how to look at trials in a different perspective, and to graciously welcome life's opportunities to grow and learn instead of resisting them and feeling beaten up by the process. A book you'll want to refer to often! Highly recommended!
October 31, 2008
EVERYONE who has gone through a personal crisis whether it be death, depression, divorce or just a simple personal evolution should read this book. And, everyone else should read it too. Elizabeth Lesser speaks to psychological and spiritual awakening in an understandable, lighthearted voice.
January 21, 2013
I realize that this book is out of character with the sorts of things that I normally read. I was led to this book by both a coworker's recommendation and by my personal struggles of this past year. Last March, an old friend of mine committed suicide. A month later, my first real boyfriend broke up with me. Together, these two events have dictated how I feel in my daily experience: when I'm with friends, or on a date with someone new, or even just spending time alone with my thoughts, my mind will try to lead me back into the despair I felt in losing a friend, and then losing a lover. I often try to tell myself that I don't deserve happiness or love, simply because someone chose not to live, and someone else chose not to love me back. It's been a heavy burden for me, and Lesser's philosophy on grief and loss is partially consoling and healing for my current state of mind.
For the most part, I enjoyed this book. Lesser is a wonderful writer, and the stories she tells, as well as her own journey to happiness and healing, are inspiring, multifaceted, and even mythic. She describes being "broken open" by pain, death, and other losses rather than being broken down and consumed by them. In being broken open, we should give this grief due consideration, but also be able to grow from it, a process that Lesser dubs the "Phoenix Process." I like this message. Pain and heartache are intrinsic to the human experience, so they should be processed naturally, and even celebrated as a gateway to greater wisdom and (self-)understanding. This is a process I am undergoing anyway, and it helped to put a (cheesy) name on it, and to read success stories.
My main problem with this book isn't really a problem: it's a bit too spiritual for my liking. There is nothing wrong with spiritual and religious conceptualizations and interactions with the world--meditation, prayer, etc.-- they've just never brought me much solace or deeper understanding.
Traditional spirituality aside, other portions started to feel like New Age hoo-ha: the visions of psychics are revered, and some instances of pain and grief are even treated as preordained by the unseen forces of the universe for the Phoenix Process. For instance, Lesser writes of the September 11th attacks as being mandated by God or whatever deities/powers/forces oversee this universe, in order to break open Americans and to bring them closer to the miracles and wonders they still have in their everyday lives.
I can't accept that. It feels akin to the sick fucks who claim that the recent Sandy Hook tragedy is a blessing in disguise for delivering children from the pain of this world to Jesus and Heaven. I can understand wanting to grow from such tragedies, and utilizing the pain and confusion of these events to make constructive changes to the status quo... but don't make them acts of God.
Yet, despite my misgivings, I enjoyed Lesser's writing and themes, and I definitely walk away from this book with a greater sense of the processes of grief, and how to grow from them.
For the most part, I enjoyed this book. Lesser is a wonderful writer, and the stories she tells, as well as her own journey to happiness and healing, are inspiring, multifaceted, and even mythic. She describes being "broken open" by pain, death, and other losses rather than being broken down and consumed by them. In being broken open, we should give this grief due consideration, but also be able to grow from it, a process that Lesser dubs the "Phoenix Process." I like this message. Pain and heartache are intrinsic to the human experience, so they should be processed naturally, and even celebrated as a gateway to greater wisdom and (self-)understanding. This is a process I am undergoing anyway, and it helped to put a (cheesy) name on it, and to read success stories.
My main problem with this book isn't really a problem: it's a bit too spiritual for my liking. There is nothing wrong with spiritual and religious conceptualizations and interactions with the world--meditation, prayer, etc.-- they've just never brought me much solace or deeper understanding.
Traditional spirituality aside, other portions started to feel like New Age hoo-ha: the visions of psychics are revered, and some instances of pain and grief are even treated as preordained by the unseen forces of the universe for the Phoenix Process. For instance, Lesser writes of the September 11th attacks as being mandated by God or whatever deities/powers/forces oversee this universe, in order to break open Americans and to bring them closer to the miracles and wonders they still have in their everyday lives.
I can't accept that. It feels akin to the sick fucks who claim that the recent Sandy Hook tragedy is a blessing in disguise for delivering children from the pain of this world to Jesus and Heaven. I can understand wanting to grow from such tragedies, and utilizing the pain and confusion of these events to make constructive changes to the status quo... but don't make them acts of God.
Yet, despite my misgivings, I enjoyed Lesser's writing and themes, and I definitely walk away from this book with a greater sense of the processes of grief, and how to grow from them.
November 16, 2015
One of my favorite books of all time. My dearest, Jennifer Cox, recommended this book at a particularly tough time in my life. The first time I read it, I cried pretty much the entire read. Lesser's writing is like a warm bath on a chilly day. I look forward to passing this book on to people in the future. It helped me move forward and overcome, I mean this truly. It was a gift to read it again from an emotionally improved place. Great stuff.
February 1, 2010
One of the most important books in my adult life. This book has been my friend since I started reading it in mid-May. I continue to re-read parts of it when I need encouragement facing the upheaval that my life has become. It has helped me to jump into the fray without fear. Like playing hide and seek as a child, this book knows the secrets we think we have kept really well. It offers simple, honest reflections about life's situations, and allows the reader to make the most of the bleakest situations. It truly honors the reader allowing space to make the choice of facing personal issues and strength for understanding and using the "Phoenix Process" to rise from the ashes of our lives and become vibrant and alive and whole. I have asked for and received several of the suggested books as gifts and, at the moment, am struggling to make time in my life again to read them.
October 21, 2010
Look, if you want to bone the poncho wearing douche in the beret while married to someone else then just bone him and own it. Your life, your problem. But when dress it up in "Shaman Lover" rhetoric and invoke Dante in some bizarre attempt to make it seem like betraying yourself and your family is an optimal and necessary life event in order to become your true self then it becomes all of our problem. I hate to break it to you lady but some of us knew ourselves well enough not to marry the wrong person as a teenager. Some of us found our 'feminine mystic' with no berets involved. While there were a few decent insights scattered throughout the book, none of them were the author's. The whole thing just left me annoyed and wishing I'd made a better selection in reading material.
February 18, 2008
I am currently reading this book. Although I am generally NOT into self help books, this book goes beyond that to explore the way we view the world and in times of turmoil, how we manage through. I really like the wisdom and shared stories of Elizabeth Lesser
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September 30, 2025Recommended by Julie Majorelle
February 28, 2023
Title:
Broken Open: How Difficult Times Can Help Us Grow
Author: Elizabeth Lesser
Genre: Self-help
Rating: 2.50
Pub Date: May 4, 2004
T H R E E • W O R D S
Hopeful • Preachy • Straightforward
📖 S Y N O P S I S
Broken Open combines moving stories, humorous insights, practical guidance, and personal memoir. Elizabeth Lesser shares tales of ordinary people who have risen from the ashes of illness, divorce, loss of a job or a loved one—stronger, wiser, and more in touch with their purpose and passion.
💭 T H O U G H T S
I picked this book up at a secondhand book sale nearly five years ago, when I was experiencing personal difficulties, hoping it might help me. It has sat unread on my shelf ever since, and I have most certainly experienced immense personal tragedy since then, so I thought it was time to finally pick it up. I ended up tandem reading the physical copy with the audiobook.
From the very first pages, I knew Broken Open was going to grate on me! It's a little too on the 'everything happens for a reason' side of the coin, with an emphasis on the transformative power of hard things, for me. It has some valid points sprinkled throughout, yet it just felt like a spewing of toxic positivity. And I definitely think some readers will come away feeling worse about their journey if they don't 'become better' from the pain they've gone through.
Mixing theory with experience and stories, I found myself skimming parts as it seemed extremely repetitive and preachy, verging on a little too religious for my tastes. I'd say this book is more the author's attempt at coming to term and healing through her own transgressions and pain than a book of helpful advice or anecdotes for those who may be experiencing a rough period.
This would definitely not be the first book I'd recommend to someone going through a rough time, as there are certainly better and more relatable books out there. Yet, it does have value in offering readers an alternate perspective to journeying through the healing process.
📚 R E C O M M E N D • T O
• positive psychology subscribers
⚠️ CW: infidelity, divorce, death, grief, illness
🔖 F A V O U R I T E • Q U O T E S
"When there is nothing left to lose, we find the true self—the self that is whole, the self that is enough, the self that no longer looks to others for definition, or completion, or anything but companionship on the journey."
"Grief is the proof of our love, a demonstration of how deeply we have allowed another to touch us."
Author: Elizabeth Lesser
Genre: Self-help
Rating: 2.50
Pub Date: May 4, 2004
T H R E E • W O R D S
Hopeful • Preachy • Straightforward
📖 S Y N O P S I S
Broken Open combines moving stories, humorous insights, practical guidance, and personal memoir. Elizabeth Lesser shares tales of ordinary people who have risen from the ashes of illness, divorce, loss of a job or a loved one—stronger, wiser, and more in touch with their purpose and passion.
💭 T H O U G H T S
I picked this book up at a secondhand book sale nearly five years ago, when I was experiencing personal difficulties, hoping it might help me. It has sat unread on my shelf ever since, and I have most certainly experienced immense personal tragedy since then, so I thought it was time to finally pick it up. I ended up tandem reading the physical copy with the audiobook.
From the very first pages, I knew Broken Open was going to grate on me! It's a little too on the 'everything happens for a reason' side of the coin, with an emphasis on the transformative power of hard things, for me. It has some valid points sprinkled throughout, yet it just felt like a spewing of toxic positivity. And I definitely think some readers will come away feeling worse about their journey if they don't 'become better' from the pain they've gone through.
Mixing theory with experience and stories, I found myself skimming parts as it seemed extremely repetitive and preachy, verging on a little too religious for my tastes. I'd say this book is more the author's attempt at coming to term and healing through her own transgressions and pain than a book of helpful advice or anecdotes for those who may be experiencing a rough period.
This would definitely not be the first book I'd recommend to someone going through a rough time, as there are certainly better and more relatable books out there. Yet, it does have value in offering readers an alternate perspective to journeying through the healing process.
📚 R E C O M M E N D • T O
• positive psychology subscribers
⚠️ CW: infidelity, divorce, death, grief, illness
🔖 F A V O U R I T E • Q U O T E S
"When there is nothing left to lose, we find the true self—the self that is whole, the self that is enough, the self that no longer looks to others for definition, or completion, or anything but companionship on the journey."
"Grief is the proof of our love, a demonstration of how deeply we have allowed another to touch us."
July 25, 2020
INCREDIBLE. If I could personally hand out a copy of this book to every single person living in this pandemic right now I would.
READ this book. Buy a copy, borrow a copy, get the audiobook, the e-book -I don't care how you read it, just READ IT.
READ this book. Buy a copy, borrow a copy, get the audiobook, the e-book -I don't care how you read it, just READ IT.
July 22, 2020
My dear friend insisted I read this. She shared her copy with me and I’m so incredibly grateful she did. The cover should have a warning “proceed with caution”. If you are looking for a summer beach read, something light and fluffy this is not it. If you’re ready to do some serious unpacking and resorting in your life then this is the book for you. Don’t even crack open the cover if you cannot devote the time and space it justly deserves. Outstanding body of work.
August 17, 2014
I wanted to like this book. I had reason to, it is similar to my own personal philosophy, which includes a little bit of everything. If I was forced to label myself I would call myself a Zen, Hasidic, Jesus admiring landscape worshiping mystical earth ecstatic. The scope of this author’s spiritual forays and experiments is staggering, I think she has tried everything but voodoo, and with some fairly powerful people/celebrities. I know someone who has attended some retreats at her institute and who thinks I would love it. But. Several things rubbed me wrong, her mention of celebrity being so insincere and unnecessary being the most obvious. Secondly, she wrote extremely brief chapters, a page or two, and while I am trying to learn that, to learn how to condense and get the point across quickly, I felt it was less powerful that way. Third, her own personal transformation story, her own “Phoenix Process” was ridiculous and unnecessary. I am not judging, she had to find her own way, but she started the book talking about how hard her divorce was, how she struggled with it, breaking up her family, but she implied that it was not her fault, when she cheated and did so spectacularly. But that was her example of being “broken open” and I imagine I am being too harsh and expecting too much of someone who is trying to be a spiritual leader. She has amazing heartbreaking examples of other people who have suffered far more than her, but then goes into a ridiculous story of her “Shaman Lover” and her sexual awakening that broke her open. It was cheesy and trite and stupid. If she had not gone into detail, I would have enjoyed the book more because there were gems in it. Last, I don’t think she is a very creative or lyrical writer, or even a good one: it felt like a book that would be featured on Oprah, because, after all, she does know famous people like Ram Dass, and included a little anecdote of how insensitive he was, though a friend, until his stroke and then she visited him and all the sudden he was kind, and I think she was taking the credit for it. Or maybe she is aiming for a movie of her life like eat, pray, love. It all makes sense that way: and the author of that book also was undone by a divorce, but I think was a much better writer and more authentic. At least a little more so.
Oh well, I will not see the movie. I can appreciate her openness and insatiable beautiful curiosity, it echoes within me.
“A broken heart is not the same as sadness. Sadness occurs when the heart is stone cold and lifeless. On the contrary, there is an unbelievable amount of vitality in a broken heart. “ Rabbi Schnuer Zalman
Oh well, I will not see the movie. I can appreciate her openness and insatiable beautiful curiosity, it echoes within me.
“A broken heart is not the same as sadness. Sadness occurs when the heart is stone cold and lifeless. On the contrary, there is an unbelievable amount of vitality in a broken heart. “ Rabbi Schnuer Zalman
July 10, 2024
Good stuff
May 31, 2023
wow long time no see goodreads! i was recommended this book by my therapist after undergoing my first breakup and let me tell you, it really opened my eyes and helped heal my little heart. if you’re going through difficult times, whether that’s with romance, grief, or life in general, elizabeth lesser will not disappoint. i can only say i’m happy to be a “bozo on the bus” as she says and i am well into my phoenix process. that sounds like silliness but if you read the book, you’ll understand!
August 17, 2017
I want to reread this book probably once a year for the rest of my life. There are few books that have influenced my perspective in the way that this one has (see below), but I hope to find at least 10 more before I reach self actualization (ha, ha, that's a joke!). But truly, this book is a diamond among shards of coal, and I really do want to buy one for everyone with whom I am friends--and fourteen apiece for those with whom I am enemies. (OK, so I don't have enemies, but if I did they'd totally get fourteen of this!)
Lesser covers it all--divorce, death, children, marriage, loss, hope, faith--within her short but powerful book. Broken into six parts, she details--rather obviously from the title--the process of difficult times. First, there comes the call of the soul, the initial issue at hand that calls for a reformation, a revolution. The second, the phoenix process; in order to rise from our own ashes like the mythical phoenix bird, first we must die to our former selves. Before the rising is the dying. After this, there is love, children, birth & death, and finally change.
Interspersed with anecdotes about her, dare I say it?, pseudo hippie coming-of-adult-age, she offers an incredible insight that not many have. Pulling influences from Christianity, Buddhism, and many, many more belief systems, she offers a type of self-acceptance not found in many self-help books. By no means is she encouraging a free-for-all, "it's ok if you murdered someone" type of acceptance, but rather digging into who we are as humans as deeply flawed yet deeply deserving people. Even if times of hurt and loss. Even if those times of hurt and loss are caused by us.
Other books that have affected me like Lesser's: Carry On, Warrior: Thoughts on Life Unarmed by Glennon Doyle Melton (whom is the one that recommended Lesser's book through an online article), Hallelujah Anyway: Rediscovering Mercy by Anne Lamott, Abandon Me: Memoirs by Melissa Febos, and most publications by Brené Brown.
Lesser covers it all--divorce, death, children, marriage, loss, hope, faith--within her short but powerful book. Broken into six parts, she details--rather obviously from the title--the process of difficult times. First, there comes the call of the soul, the initial issue at hand that calls for a reformation, a revolution. The second, the phoenix process; in order to rise from our own ashes like the mythical phoenix bird, first we must die to our former selves. Before the rising is the dying. After this, there is love, children, birth & death, and finally change.
Interspersed with anecdotes about her, dare I say it?, pseudo hippie coming-of-adult-age, she offers an incredible insight that not many have. Pulling influences from Christianity, Buddhism, and many, many more belief systems, she offers a type of self-acceptance not found in many self-help books. By no means is she encouraging a free-for-all, "it's ok if you murdered someone" type of acceptance, but rather digging into who we are as humans as deeply flawed yet deeply deserving people. Even if times of hurt and loss. Even if those times of hurt and loss are caused by us.
Other books that have affected me like Lesser's: Carry On, Warrior: Thoughts on Life Unarmed by Glennon Doyle Melton (whom is the one that recommended Lesser's book through an online article), Hallelujah Anyway: Rediscovering Mercy by Anne Lamott, Abandon Me: Memoirs by Melissa Febos, and most publications by Brené Brown.
February 21, 2021
This is one of those best in 10 years books, one of the best books I've read in ten years, the kind of book that I want to begin rereading the moment I finished it. It is rich and full of wisdom and written in the most beautiful language, rich in metaphors that make challenging ideas accessible.
November 3, 2014
I feel I've accomplised a lot in this life. At the same time I acknowledge I've experienced an immense amout of emotional distress and excrusiating anxiety. Through all this I know my life is richer because I chhose to stay in the game and engaged. This book totally reinforces this perspective and provides tools, insights, direction, and inspiration to stay with it see the richness in life, persevering, and continuing to see glimpses of beauty in life's trials, lessons, and wins.
July 25, 2017
I wish I could give this book to everyone. Beautifully written. I cried and I was comforted throughout. Lesser shares her experiences, and the experiences of others, concerning how to make it through tough times and transform your self should you choose the growth process when difficult things occur in your life. I'm not doing it justice here...
March 31, 2008
I read self help books on a frequent basis, and this is definitely one of my favorites. It's hard to describe exactly why I liked it so much. I only know that I found myself unable to put it down once I started.
May 5, 2010
this is an essential book for anyone dealing with the pain of loss in a small or profound way. it is reassuring, heartbreaking, poignant, and never preachy. i will probably read it again when i am feeling particularly lost or at a big crossroads in life...i highly recommend it!
Currently reading
January 13, 2009 To make a long story short....A patient got me to read this book......!
May 22, 2022
This is a book that should be read a few times at different moments in your life. I’m sure new insight would be gained at each rereading.
“Everything can change in a moment; we have a little control over the outer weather patterns as we make our way through the landscape of a life. But we can become masters of the inner landscape. We can use what happens on the outside to change the way we function on the inside. This is the moral of the great teaching myths. … “ when we have been through a trial and survived it - or better still, transformed its terrors into revelations - then we begin to approach other adversities with a different attitude. … But how do we do this? How do we transform terror into revelations? How do we stay sane and courageous in the midst of a trial?”
“Everything can change in a moment; we have a little control over the outer weather patterns as we make our way through the landscape of a life. But we can become masters of the inner landscape. We can use what happens on the outside to change the way we function on the inside. This is the moral of the great teaching myths. … “ when we have been through a trial and survived it - or better still, transformed its terrors into revelations - then we begin to approach other adversities with a different attitude. … But how do we do this? How do we transform terror into revelations? How do we stay sane and courageous in the midst of a trial?”
June 23, 2019
Relying on her own personal experiences, the author helps the reader negotiate and even thrive through the tough times in life. While the book won’t fix the problems in your life, it will help you to learn through them. The uplifting thoughts are fine, but some parts of the book felt a bit shallow to me, and yes, a bit New Age.
My advice to readers is to take what good points you can from the book, because she does make valid points, and ignore the annoying bits.
My advice to readers is to take what good points you can from the book, because she does make valid points, and ignore the annoying bits.
August 17, 2020
This was my first read by this author, I had never heard of her until my friend Kris gave rave reviews! Lesser is a beautiful writer, I loved how she weaved in other people’s stories. Life is such an up and down journey with so many trials. Why some have more painful seasons then others always breaks my heart.
February 20, 2022
Sweet, with lots of good quotations cited, my favorite being by Sufi poet Hafiz, who wrote, “Not the God of names, not the God of don’ts, nor the God who ever does anything weird, but the God who only knows four words and keeps repeating them, saying: “Come dance with Me.”
December 18, 2023
(Audiobook) loved the first part of the book and her views on what it means to seek change and an unknowing, but didn’t jive with the anecdotal second half. Likely more poignant for those who have undergone monumental life difficulties/change
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