Como Si Tuviera Alas: Las memorias perdidas

by Chet Baker

En estas memorias, descubiertas tras su misteriosa muerte en 1988, por fin se puede oír la auténtica voz de Chet Baker.

Genres: Music, Biography, Jazz, Nonfiction, Memoir, Autobiography, Art

128 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 1997

About the author

Chesney Henry "Chet" Baker Jr. was an American jazz trumpeter, flugelhorn player and singer.

Specializing in relaxed, even melancholy music, Baker rose to prominence as a leading name in cool jazz in the 1950s. Baker's good looks and smoldering, intimate singing voice established him as a promising name in pop music as well. But his success was badly hampered by drug addiction, particularly in the 1960s, when he was imprisoned.

He died in 1988 after falling from a hotel window.

Reviews

[Michael · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 stars, rounded up to 4.

When Chet (first name terms seems appropriate somehow. I think Chet was that kind of guy) says, "probably less than 2 percent of the public can really hear. When I say hear, I mean follow a horn player through his ideas, and be able to understand those ideas in relation to the changes," I place myself in the more-than-98-percent category. I've got stacks of Chet's recordings and his music is some of my very favourite, but I'm not sure that I 'get' jazz. The things I like, I really enjoy listening to, but I can't say that I know what the musicians are doing, what's in their heads or hearts while they're playing, or what message they're trying to send me.

I love Chet's stuff, and really like his contemporaries, Gerry Mulligan, Paul Desmond and Dave Brubeck from the'50s and '60s 'Cool Jazz' West Coast scene, but "legends" like Charlie Parker and John Coltrane leave me cold, though Alice Coltrane is stratospherically amazing in my estimation. Is my tepid response to these 'giants' just a matter of musical taste, or a lack of comprehension and feeling for the music? I'm not yet sure. Maybe my feeling for Chet and Cool Jazz is a visceral thing that resists cognitive examination and I should just let it be.

Reading this book of Chet's diary entries/memoir hasn't really got me any further on. They pick up with the 16 year old Chet joining the army, then meander back and forth between his early childhood (briefly), then the late '40s, '50s and early '60s, with the barest of threads connecting each chapter. There are a couple of running motifs, of course, those being music and drugs. The entries end abruptly, as if Chet put his journal down and decided he'd had enough of that project, or probably just more concerned with the need to score some 'stuff'.

While in some respects this is thin fare - the interesting passages cut with lists of largely unknown musicians and itineraries of place names - in others it is strong stuff where Chet tells us things we'd otherwise have no knowledge of. Is it all true? Is Chet, so often zonked or strung out, a reliable narrator? Does it matter, if this is his truth?

I'm left wanting more, but this is as much as Chet wanted to give or, maybe, could give, so I just have to be satisfied with what he's supplied. More importantly, he left his music. I'm sure there's more of him in there for me to find if I can just open myself to it.

[Max Renn · Rating 4 out of 5]

this slender volume is a bit of an oddity... referred to interchangeably as a memoir and as a diary, it seems to sit somewhere in between, a diary that was notes towards a memoir perhaps, as it is always looking backwards and never quotidian. the writing is spare and unadorned giving the impression that this is exactly how baker would speak to you if you'd asked him in conversation to recount his life. this sketchy unfinished feel serves the book well, allowing baker to tell his story directly and convivially without destroying any of that chet baker mystique. readers wanting to delve voyueristically into the soul of a tortured genius will be disappointed, there is no overwrought self-reflection here, but those willing to pore over the figurative polaroids of an interesting and amiable stranger while listening to stories over a couple of drinks will be well contented.

[la poesie a fleur de peau · Rating 3 out of 5]

"Tenho a impressão de que há apenas três coisas que impressionam a maior parte das pessoas: quão depressa conseguimos tocar, quão agudo conseguimos tocar e quão alto conseguimos tocar. Acho isto um pouco irritante, mas com a experiência que tenho hoje compreendo que é provável que nem dois por cento do público seja verdadeiramente capaz de ouvir. Quando digo «ouvir», refiro-me a acompanhar as ideias do trompetista e ser capaz de entender essas ideias em relação às mudanças, quando estas são completamente modernas."

Chet Baker

***

Houve uma noite em que segurava este livro e, de repente, perdi a noção de que fora escrito por Chet Baker: qualquer um destes episódios de fuga à polícia, de paixões assolapadas, de clubes de jazz onde a erva, a heroína e a cocaína imperavam, podiam ter saído do imaginário de um director cinematográfico. E, na sequência desse devaneio, produzi mentalmente cenários que estariam à altura da linguagem do Martin Scorsese (e narrados pelo próprio Chet Baker — belo, não?).
Este pequeno livro não é propriamente uma biografia, mas contém elementos biográficos: contém, para ser mais precisa, aquilo que só o próprio Chet poderia revelar. Os episódios são relatados de forma bastante simples, quase descritiva, com um ou outro apontamento de sensações ou de emoções. Nunca revela, no entanto, demasiado... e é sempre curioso pensar que quem se sabe expressar tão bem a nível musical (e que trompetista exímio ele era — e cantor! A voz dele, já nos últimos anos, parecia condensar anos de sofrimento) nem sempre o consegue fazer a outros níveis. Não é um livro brilhante do ponto de vista literário, mas irá fazer as delícias dos fãs.

[Seana McCarthy · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book felt like both a memoir and a journal. Getting to know Chet, his success, his faults, and his closest friends through this short book is quite special. Putting his music side by side with his words surfaces the true emotion behind every music note. A bit slow, but worth the read.

[Laura ❀ ☕ · Rating 4 out of 5]

Quando mi dicono che leggere è una perdita di tempo, io rispondo puntualizzando che per quella persona potrebbe esserlo, ma per me è talmente impattante che questo libro mi ha teletrasportata in prigione con Chet Baker, facendomi sentire tutta la nostalgia e la musica della sua amata tromba.
Lo rileggerei volentieri!

[Richard Jespers · Rating 3 out of 5]

Published posthumously, this thin tome is not very well written, and we must respect that because the author probably didn't intend for the public to read it. Yet the memoir does give some insight into one of my favorite jazz musicians, the brilliant trumpeter and vocalist, Chet Baker. I probably love his vocals as much as I do his instrumental renditions because they are so raw and soulful. His phrasing is so intuitive, yet correct; he knows the song inside and out, owning every word.

In spite of the flaw of not having much a narrative arc—the book is largely a confessional about his frank drug use in the 1950s and 1960s and ensuing prison time, as well as his prodigious sex life—his prose is engaging, fresh and does display some interesting quirks. Even though he uses a lot of slang from the period (cat as in cool cat, grass for marijuana), he manages to employ a few words that have held on (dude, gig). And yet because of his word choice and syntax, readers can tell he is a very intelligent man. At the same time, if he is so smart, why is he mesmerized by the life of a junkie? What demons propel him to escape from his life while trying to dive into it at the same time? What may be missing from this brief account of his life, written perhaps twenty-five years before his body finally gave out and he died at fifty-eight, is a certain sense of reflection. Why am I doing these things? What makes me shoot up, put everything on the line for a few minutes or hours of bliss? But what can we expect, perhaps, from one who so tellingly reveals to us his soul in every song he’s ever played or sung. When Chet is riffing on “The Touch of Your Lips,” he is reflecting; he’s giving us everything he has, and yet Baker seldom plays louder than a mezzo forte. A very controlled and clean sound.

In Barcelona, in 1963, for a series of gigs, he ends with a tale about making contact with a doctor who procures drugs for him, as if the man is a prince: “He was a surgeon whose skill and facilities brought patients from all over the world. I was soon obtaining scripts from him, and it all began once again” (115).

Up to this point, in his early thirties, Baker has already been in and out of rehab dozens of times, situated in some of the best institutions in the world. One can only speculate what the last two and a half decades of his life must be like. Yet when I view him in a 1983 documentary, his face sunken and body shriveled, he is nothing like the handsome self of his youth, and I believe my question has been answered. Pity.

[Hex75 · Rating 3 out of 5]

a conti fatti questo libro è poco più di un "millelire" di stampa alternativa, solo stampato con dei caratteri tipo quelli dei libri per bambini: lo si finisce in un paio d'ore, magari giusto il tempo di far girare nel lettore cd "chet baker sings" (lo storico disco su pacific ora nel catalogo blue note che per me è uno dei vertici del jazz) un paio di volte.insomma, l'avessero integrato con qualche intervista d'epoca sarebbe stato ottimo, così com'è è fin troppo breve e rischia di esser troppo criptico per chi già non conosce , ed è questo il motivo per cui non ha il massimo dei voti, perchè per il resto è un'onesta raccolta di memorie, tra donne, droga (tantissima, che causa al nostro l'attenzione continua delle polizie d'america e d'europa) e musica, con un certo spazio al periodo in cui baker soggiornò in italia (sarebbe da scriverlo un libro sulle sue peripezie nell'italia del boom...).il classico libro per fans, quale sono: ma ho come il dubbio che ad un lettore casuale potrebbe lasciare ben poco...

[Naz · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this, and I wish he had written more

[David James · Rating 3 out of 5]

A life devoted to jazz and heroin. What could go wrong.

Obviously the memoirs were far from complete when he died, but this offers a bit.

[Harold Dávila Garrido · Rating 4 out of 5]

El personaje en su faceta mas íntima...
Lo recomiendo 👍

[Brendon Hertz · Rating 5 out of 5]

Chet Baker’s music was beautiful; his life was pretty tragic and somewhat beautiful as well. From his own telling, it’s easy to see how he glorified his own drug use and thought, in many ways, it made for interesting material for this diary/memoir. To me, it shows the inhumanity of the worldwide system toward addicts and the poor understanding society had (and still has) of how to help addicts recover in a way that allows people to pursue their personal and professional lives in a healthy way, even the ones who have access to privilege and talents beyond most of us. Insightful read.

[elisabeth · Rating 4 out of 5]

basically a drug summary & musician name dropping but interesting insight into chet baker’s life outside of his music

[Cleo · Rating 2 out of 5]

Hard to accurately rate a fragmented work but really just not enough here to justify reading it

[Simon Sweetman · Rating 5 out of 5]

Something very sad about this guy - and we get as near to the heart of it as we ever will in this timid but revealing "lost" memoir. I've read this a few times over the years, was great to reconnect with it again, now so much more familiar with the music. Heartbreaking and hardly ever hopeful but still a must read, something profound in these deceptively simple sentences.

[Susana Fernandes · Rating 3 out of 5]

Chet Baker foi um músico brilhante mas como tantos outros era um viciado em substâncias ilegais e portanto arruinou a sua vida e carreira.
O livro tem algumas memórias específicas escritas pelo próprio que nos dá um pequeno vislumbre dos bastidores mas muito passa pelas mulheres que encontrou e pelas vezes que foi apanhado e preso.
Teve 2 filhos mas quase nada escreve sobre eles.
Esperava mais e melhor mas a sua música permanecerá para sempre.

[Cobertizo · Rating 5 out of 5]

Un beatnik entre los beatniks. Sin apologías, sin impostura, sin histrionismo, sin olor a naftalina. El relato de Baker rezuma franqueza y vida a brochazos. 'Dipping' sanguinolento en el que se filtra el carpe diem de la otra aventura: la del opciáceoadicto orgulloso, la del paradigma de jazz en perpetuo balanceo, la de los grandes latidos de la ciudad entre sus mujeres y sus cárceles, la de la noche infinita, la del viajante ciego de bencedrina.

De unas memorías en la que el mayor traspiés a destacar termina siendo su brevedad, poco o nada debe sumarse al discurso. Indefendible en su maraña narrativa y su nula ambición; alocado y feroz en el fraseo de sus largos solos egográficos, donde cada día es indescifrable y único al anterior. Un absoluto y frenético 'Sin Fin'

[benjamon · Rating 3 out of 5]

el desorden hecho libro. pero se entiende, estas memorias no estaban escritas para ser publicadas, o al menos faltaba mucho camino para llegar a eso. los relatos son como una conversación que se desvía por todos lados.
se puede apreciar caleta lo común que era la cocaína y la heroína en el círculo de jazzistas, y lo poco que le importaba realmente recaer una y otra vez, contándolo como algo insignificante lsdjfs
en fin, escuchen chet baker sings y enamórense de lo bello que salió de la vida frenética de este hombre

[Raffaele Calvanese · Rating 3 out of 5]

Una raccolta di memorie di Chet Baker che parte dalla sua esperienza come militare nella Berlino liberata e passa per varie città, prigioni, spacciatori ed esperienze varie. C'è anche l'Italia,. Lo stesso autore relega la musica in un piccolo cantuccio del suo racconto che corre veloce sul tema della sua tossicodipendenza.

[John Lyman · Rating 3 out of 5]

Kind of in the vein of Hemmingway, a tiny book with lots of blank pages, somehow still pretty action packed. Nice to have a firsthand account from the man himself, a great complement to the CB biography I just read. Baker was a nut. As with so many, (all), he seems pretty nice and tame when encountered in the first person, what others said about him often told a different story.

[gazoo · Rating 3 out of 5]

A slow casual burn where life seems as fleeting as the flick of a cigarette. Did not really get any insight into his soul or attachment to his music just his immediate surroundings where jazz and hard drugs seemed synonymous.

[shannon · Rating 3 out of 5]

one thing i really liked is how someone vandalized the library's copy, correcting the spellings of all the names.

[Christopher · Rating 5 out of 5]

Oh, Chet Baker, how you seduce me....

[Giorgio Comel · Rating 4 out of 5]

nice

[Ananda · Rating 4 out of 5]

La vera storia di musicisti jazz e blues può essere affascinante tanto quanto la loro musica, e motivare il senso della loro vena poetica.Per cultori.

[Matilde Canto · Rating 3 out of 5]

2,5 ⭐️

[Ognjen Lopusina · Rating 1 out of 5]

Књигу сам добио у оквиру сатанистичког secret santa ритуала у тренутку када о Чет Бејкеру нисам знао ништа. До душе имао сам две песме на својим плејлистама али појма нисам имао ко је извођач.

Ова књига је колекција његових дневничких записа или већ неких патрљака од којих је требало да се направи биографија. Почетак јој је лоциран у позну Бејкерову малолетност када у Немачкој одлази као 16огодишњи војник непосредно након рата. Већ у тим првим сценама ми видимо Чета онаквог какав ће бити до краја живота, човек који воли да свира и пева, да се дрогира и да нешто појебе. Све то на један животињски тупав и анимални начин. Приповедање траје неких 15 година када се Бејкер већ сусреће са озбиљним наркоманским и кривично-правним проблемима.

Пуно је ствари бизарно у овој књизи. За почетак издање отвара увод његове треће жене која нас у форми класичног sales blurba позива да откријемо један нови свет овог уметника не би ли после у тексту и поговору открили да је ту исту жену Бејкер третирао као стеону јуницу те је пустио да сама подиже троје заједничке деце коју скоро да никад и није видео. Након тога иде Бејкерово писаније које се највише бави његовим дрогирањем те проблемима који су из тога проистекли, а затим инвентаром ко је свирао са ким у том џез свету. На крају су исечци из интервјуа који треба да баце мало светла на део каријере и смрт (који се не налазе у Бејкеровом писању).

Бејкер је за писање надарен колико и Аца Лукас, са којим дели и многе друге таленте. Ко није заљубљеник у џез неће у овој књизи наћи ништа осим тужног сведочанства о једном истински болесном човеку. Мислим да је боље да људи које цене његов smooth jazz никада не прочитају ову књигу.

[Robert S · Rating 2 out of 5]

Speak with any jazz fan and eventually you'll get on the issue of the history for the genre from the storytellers themselves, the musicians.

Jazz is arguably a genre that has experienced more tragedy and early loss than any other, except possibly the blues. Its a laundry list of greats who are done before their time due to drugs or other unfortunate circumstances.

Chet Baker is one of those individuals who has created such beautiful works of art but also suffered a great deal due to his drug use and time spent in jail. There's no telling what more we could have heard from him as a man at the peak of his powers.

As Though I Had Wings is an attempt to help fill that gap, and provide Baker the voice in this quick memoir that we will never unfortunately have otherwise.

The verdict?

It's okay.

It definitely gives some insight into Baker and the jazz scene he experienced but there's something...missing. Like a jazz piece left half-written, it feels off reading the memoir knowing its only about 100 pages.

Fans of Chet Baker or jazz may want to entertain themselves in an afternoon by reading this.

I definitely recommend listening to the man's work (easily accessible on Spotify) either as a first-time or long time listener.

[s · Rating 4 out of 5]

Earnestly, this book is not a literary masterpiece. It will not change your life to read it. It isn’t the most well-written thing, it isn’t the most insightful, far from it — but what is it, if not a true look into Chet Baker himself. Beyond the music, within these pages we see the man himself in a very human, down to earth way; we are given a peek behind the curtain of one of the most remarkable jazz musicians throughout the twentieth century. He discusses within these pages, earnestly and frankly, his life & some selected events of; we rarely see this of a celebrity, of a musician. I truly appreciated reading this book, for it gives a great insight to Baker’s character — and whilst he is not a masterful writer, my attention was fully retained throughout reading this short little number, & I did greatly enjoy it.

[Gerard Gaset Corbacho · Rating 4 out of 5]

Este fué el primer libro que leí al llegar a San Francisco. 🌉 🤔 Lo compré de segunda mano en una tienda la lado del hostal. Por aquel entonces conocía la música de Chet Baker, pero sólo superficialmente.♥️♥️♥️ Siempre me han gustado las trompetas cool y mellow, y la voz de Chet siempre me conmovió. Lo que no conocía era su vida.😊 📚 Es un libro cortito, q muestra esbozos de su vida y q trata, fundamentalmente dos aspectos: su formación y carrera musical, y la influencia de las drogas (la heroína) en su vida. Lo hace a través de una colección de recuerdos que tienen importancia para el músico.
Editado en 1997, el prólogo es de su mujer y termina con una nota (curiosa cómo mínimo) de cómo volvió a engancharse a la droga en Barcelona (adjunto foto). Si tenéis la ocasión de leerlo, os sugiero que la aprovechéis, sobre todo si sois fans del jazz y/o de la bohemia.

[Lucyloguer · Rating 2 out of 5]

bueno… claramente el cheto no era un buen escritor jajaj. este diario es solo chet nombrando a los más grandes y tocando con ellos, el siendo un sorete con las minas y siendo un padre abandonico y metiéndose toda la heroina que encontraba. belleza literaria? no. anécdotas valiosas para un fan de jazz o de chet? mmm pocas. esperaba un poco más de esta biografía, algo más sensible . pero a la vez entiendo que chet no podía escribir como tocaba, xq de ser así hubiese sido el mismísimojesucristo . si queres conocer a chet, más que leer esto te recomiendo escuchar sus discos.