The Peacemaking Pastor: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Church Conflict

by Alfred Poirier

The Peacemaking Pastor

Genres: Counselling, Christian, Leadership, Ecclesiology, Nonfiction, Theology

320 pages, Paperback

First published August 1, 2006

Reviews

[Andrzej Stelmasiak · Rating 5 out of 5]

6 stars out of 5!!!

Somehow this book is completely unknown here in the UK, and that's a shame. I have only heard about it when decided to see what books the Westminster Seminary California professors are assigning their students to read.

And this turns out to be in my top 5 of all the books I have read since graduating from my seminary! Poirier strikes a home run with every single chapter!!! I have learnt a lot. Very challenging book, and what is beautiful, he actually writes about his mistakes and never says a wrong word about others.

Read it with my Pastor, and both of us fell in love with it, from the first sight... sorry, from the first page ;-) Already bought two copies to give to my friends, and I look forward to seeing how they will be helped by reading it, to the glory of our Triune God and the well-being of those churches that they serve!

[Peter Mackenzie · Rating 5 out of 5]

An absolute cracker!

[Drake Hyman · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was required to write an extended review for this book as a requirement for my pastoral ministry class in seminary. My hope is that it will serve as a rather brief summary of the content of this otherwise lengthy (300+) page book. I do recommend the book, as I feel its premise and content are worth consideration. It is well-written and well-thought out. It is definitely longer than it needs to be, but there is little in the way of what I would consider wasted space. The structure is clear throughout and connects back to the thesis in a tangible way. Its main audience is pastors and those yet to enter the pastorate, though I would say it applies to anyone with some degree of leadership in the church.


I. Outline
The premise of this book is simple but deep enough to warrant its length. Poirier calls on pastors to recognize that peacemaking is not merely a task of pastoral ministry, but a central element of the pastor's identity and role within the church of Christ. He observes, however, that pastors often have one of three false assumptions about the ministry of reconciliation: 1) that it is limited to special crisis situations in the church, 2) that it is merely corrective and not constructive, and 3) that it tends to require secular ideology and methods rather than biblical wisdom. In countering these assumptions, Poirier asserts that Christian theology and biblical teachings are essential to peacemaking ministry. The book is organized to first present humans as people in conflict (ch. 1-3), discuss the nature of God as a peacemaker and reconciler (ch. 4-5) and lastly look at biblically mandated responses to conflict (ch. 6-13).

The first chapter begins with Poirier’s own testimony of how he became a functional docetist, effectively believing that Christ only seemed to have come in the flesh rather than truly believing his ministry was to reconcile people and restore peace on earth. He calls out pastors who may fall into this category, pointing out that "failure to train our people and leaders as peacemakers is a failure in Christology, for peacemaking is Christology" (p. 26). Christ himself is both peacemaker and the source of our peace (Eph. 2:14), and pastors are called to embody and imitate Him.

Poirier then lays out the nature and pathways of conflict, which he defines as what results "when my desires, expectations, fears, or wants collide with your desires, expectations, fears, or wants" (p. 30). These things stem all stem from the corrupt human heart, which is the source of all conflict (see ch. 3). We each have conflict because, like water in a cup, we spill over when shaken. In the church, conflict is most prevalent when it comes to matters of authority and personal relationships. The type of unhealthy responses to conflict range from extreme forms of escapism (e.g. Suicide, Flight, Denial) to extreme attack responses (e.g. Assault, Litigation, Murder). Here Poirier borrows Ken Sande's diagram "The Slippery Slope" (The Peacemaker, 2004.), which arranges these responses from "flight" to "fight”, with what he considers “peacemaking” responses arranged between them (see Pg. 37). As one moves from flight to fight, both the level of publicity and the associated cost increase (cost being loss of control of the outcome). Thus, a person seeking private reconciliation between him and another individual has much more control over the outcome than if he were to bring in an outside mediator or arbiter to resolve the dispute. The benefit of the peacemaking responses (which he elaborates on in part 3 of the book) is that they are focused on restoring the relationship, whereas flight responses are me-focused and attack responses are you-focused.

He then shows how God is present in every human conflict. Rather than a distraction to “true ministry”, conflict is ministry, as it is an opportunity for the God of peace and personal relationship to restore what has been broken. Poirier shows how God ordains conflict “according to his sovereign, wise, and good purposes”, which is chiefly “to reconcile people to himself so that they might live at peace” (pp. 74, 79). The hope for humanity in conflict is that God’s grace precedes his judgment. Though humans are prone to it, God is gracious, patiently waiting for His stiff-necked children to repent and draw near to Him for peace, redemption and healing.

Before moving on to methodology, Poirier asserts that “peacemaking in hard work. It is ‘conflict work.’ Christ is the supreme example of the hardship, suffering, and misunderstanding that awaits true peacemakers” (p. 88). Indeed, this responsibility of pastors is not a simple one. It brings frustration and heartache to engage in complex problems with sinful people, but it is that to which pastors are called, for in so doing they represent Christ and His mission to the world.

The final chapters of the book (6-13) deal extensively with specific topics. First, he discusses the nature of confession and repentance, as well as steps for doing them. He distinguishes regret (“worldly sorrow”) from true repentance (“godly sorrow”) in that one with regret believes he is not really the kind of person to make such a mistake, whereas one who repents recognizes his depravity and need for God. He then deals with true forgiveness as its corollary, addressing our culture’s exaltation of what he considers to be false forgiveness when the damaged party is forced to forget without having truly forgiven.

He also deals with biblical negotiation and the PAUSE principle, a complex endeavor which requires us to Prepare, Affirm the relationships involved, Understand the interests of all parties, Search for creative solutions and Evaluate opinions objectively and reasonably (p. 165). The goal in negotiation is not primarily to reach a solution but to protect the interests of all the parties involved. People are the focus, not results or products.

The last chapters (9-13) deal with the topics of pastoral mediation and arbitration as well as church discipline. The main principle to be garnered from these chapters is that the church has a role to play in what have otherwise come to be considered as “legal” disputes. The problem is that in abdicating their role as arbiters and mediators of conflict, pastors have inadvertently shifted such functions to secular courts, resulting in a massive increase of minor disputes being dragged into court rather than settled privately and relationally with the help of the church. As Poirier describes it, "concurrent to the church's abdication of its God-given authority, people have inflated their trust in civil authority...Today, Americans expect the courts to do what they believe God cannot" (p. 204) He reminds pastors of the premise of his book, that “peacemaking is not a task reserved for lawyers or professional mediators. It is our calling" (p. 209). By involving God in all levels of personal conflict, pastors show the world that God is Lord over all areas of life. God therefore appears larger, and people can be directed to Him as the Mediator, Wonderful Counselor and Prince of Peace in all life’s circumstances.
 

II. Application

What I found to be most helpful about this book was its discussion of the forms of peacemaking outlined in the Slippery Slope diagram. I seldom consider the pastor as a potential arbiter or mediator in the way he describes and advocates, nor had I considered church discipline and accountability at the level his church conducted with the convicted child sex offender (see the final chapter). If I’m honest with myself, I don’t fully anticipate such problems to plague my ministry in the future as a pastor. Perhaps I believe too much in the goodness of people to think that such situations might face me one day. That being said, I am grateful for this book’s reminder not to flee or abdicate my responsibility in such situations but rather to embrace the difficult, complex task of peacemaking.

One practical step I will encourage the congregation I am involved in leading in the future is to make their disputes known to the offenders. Flight from all conflict is just as deadly and corrosive as is fight, especially in our culture. I feel that too many of us Americans, particularly in the friendly South, flee conflict altogether rather than risking the publicity and high cost associated with addressing it. I will encourage people to follow the Matthew 18 model of confronting those who have sinned, albeit in love and with a healthy perception of one’s own responsibility in the dispute.

When I consider what this may look like realistically, I think of a marriage in conflict. At times it is healthy and safe for a couple to separate temporarily, but this should be with the intent of seeking aid from those in the church. In such a situation, a pastor or elder must be involved in counseling the individual to repent of any sins they have committed and/or forgive the other person. This may require rules and regulations to be put in place. For example, if a husband is an alcoholic or adulterer, it may mean that he is not allowed to live at home for a period of time and must live with a brother in Christ who can hold him accountable until he achieves sobriety. I have actually observed this in my small group at church, where the offending husband voluntarily lived with a single man of our group for a period of time until the couple gained some healing and clarity. The offended party must be protected from further hurt, but in the end, the offender must be given an opportunity to be redeemed and forgiven. This is the nature of a Christian family with God as our Father, who overlooks even our most heinous sins

[Shaun Lee · Rating 3 out of 5]

For readers who have read his colleague Ken Sande's The Peacemaker, this book's formatting would be bizarrely similar; they are after all president and chairman of Peacemaker Ministries. I respect Poirier's brave confession that his pastoral ministry "has been shaped by reformation theology and Presbyterian ecclesiology" and therefore cannot claim to write from a "broadly evangelical, much less ecumenical, perspective"(p15). I appreciate how in spite of his clear experience in the field of peacemaking and church conflict resolution, Poirier writes with a refreshing humble stroke of his pen.

Why the book overall is informative, I felt that a heavy dose of brevity would do it much good - cutting maybe 50-100 pages with better editing and removing repetitive content could make it a masterpiece in the church conflict/resolution category. Often I felt that going through the content was a chore and I struggled to remain engaged in the material. Maybe the content would work better in the form of a week-long seminar, but presented in its current textual form, it needs to be made far more concise and captivating.

[Jnoel7492 · Rating 4 out of 5]

Here is the book review that I submitted for the DMin seminar "Managing Church Conflict" of New Orleans Baptist Seminary.

INTRODUCTION


Many young pastors begin ministry with visions of grandeur marked by rapid church growth, invitations to speak at revivals and conferences, and even book deals that allow them to expound wisdom. However, these dreams are often shattered when they are met with the reality of life in the local church. In most cases, pastoral ministry is a process of slow leadership that is marked by conflict. From marriage counseling to contentious deacons meetings, reconciliation of personal conflicts to moderating difficult business meetings, ministry requires conflict management skills. Most pastors do not come equipped with the skills necessary to handle such situations. Thankfully, Alfred Poirier’s book The Peacemaking Pastor: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Church Conflict serves as a resource that provides a framework of gospel centered conflict management that every pastor needs to master.


Book Summary

Poirier’s book is divided into three sections. The first section, comprised of chapters one through three, identifies the mechanics of conflict as a part of the human condition. The first chapter is a discussion of the uncomfortable truth that most pastors shy away from peacemaking. It concludes with a call to peacemaking by reminding the pastor that he cannot fulfill his calling if he refuses to be a peacemaker.

The second chapter is devoted to defining the forms of and responses to conflict. This proves beneficial in two ways. First, it provides the pastor with a basic understanding of different types of conflict. Second, it gives an abbreviated analysis of healthy and unhealthy response to conflict. The third chapter may be the most important chapter in the book in that it unmasks evil desires of the heart as the true origin of conflict. This is important because many contemporary approaches to conflict resolution start with the role of others in conflict. Poirier rightly states that true biblical conflict resolution begins with understanding how personal desires drive behaviors leading to conflict. “As church leaders, we are called to turn people's eyes first on themselves, on their own attitudes and actions, because James's first lesson is that reconciliation of conflicts must begin by having the parties examine themselves and their desires.”

The second section consists of chapters four and five. These chapters underscore the theological underpinning of peacemaking. Chapter four deals with the theological principle of God as peacemaker. The key point is that, even as God allowed the curse of sin to run its course, he is constantly in the process of making peace with humanity for his glory. Chapter five take the logical step by concluding that a peace making God expects a peace making people. Within the context of the local church, believers are not people gathered together with no significant ties. Rather, the church is a family. Its members are sons and daughters of God, brothers and sisters with one another.

The final section is a basic primer on the components of peacemaking. Chapters six through twelve address specific aspects of peacemaking. These include the role of confession of sin within the body of Christ, the extension of real forgiveness, the priority of others over ourselves through negotiation, the pastor’s role in resolving conflict, the principles of mediation and arbitration, and principle and practices of church discipline. Chapter thirteen concludes the book by discussing the implementation of peacemaking in the church. This section effectively takes the philosophical and theological truths established in the first two sections and puts them in the context of the local church.


Significant Contributions to Conflict Management

Poirier provides a wealth of information for those who desire to resolve conflict in a manner that follows Scripture and honors Christ. The thorough nature of this book leaves few if any issues untouched. Although many could be discussed, there are two significant contributions that must be pointed out.

Chapter three provides an important understanding of the root of conflict. Often symptomatic results of conflict are mistakenly presented as the root of the conflict. For example, a conflict in the church that erupts over worship style is often understood to originate in the experiences and preference of people. But Poirier rightly states that this is not the case. He says that the heart of conflict is rooted in the sinful desires that push and pull against others for ourselves. This is important in that it helps peacemakers identify what they must resolve. Rather than wasting time trying to find solutions for symptoms, understanding the role of evil desires helps peacemakers more effectively get to the heart of the matter. As the author says, “As pastors called to be peacemakers, we must come armed with law and gospel, gospel and law. We must understand that the conflicts people are in are conflicts in people-conflicts in their hearts, conflicts of desires, demands, and idols.”

A second significant contribution that is made to the field of conflict resolution is the PAUSE principle. Developed by Ken Sande, this principle is a five-step process for successful negotiation. It is important to the peacemaking process to sit down and discuss personal issues such as emotions. However, most of the time additional work is needed. Specifically, substantive issues need to be negotiated. This is where the PAUSE principle becomes useful. These five steps lead the pastor/negotiator through a logical process of conflict resolution. The first step of preparation is the absolute starting point. Without this, negotiation is much more likely to go awry. The second step is to affirm relationships. It is here that the negotiator establishes the importance of the parties to one another. They are more than individuals; they are brothers and sisters seeking resolution for the glory of Christ. The third step calls for a thorough understanding of the interests of all those involved. It is here that the unifying principles that lead to successful negotiation are given prominence. Fourth, the negotiator must work with those in conflict to search for creative solutions. This allows all involved to have ownership in the final solution. Fifth, the options identified must be fairly evaluated to ensure they are feasible. All of these steps allow hostile situations to be disarmed so that solutions that are beneficial for the church can be reached. This measured and logical approach adds much to peacemaking.


Strengths and Weaknesses

There are at least four strengths of the author’s presentation. First, he is thorough. The reader is not left with many questions. From theological implications to individual elements to practical application, all of the major tenets of peacemaking are addressed. The writing is not so technical that it is difficult to comprehend; yet it is a heady approach that challenges the reader.

Second, Poirier’s presentation is logical. As he progressively moves through each of the sections of the book, he logically addresses peacemaking in a way that makes sense. The careful reader is not confused at any point. One does not get lost in this reading. The logical flow gives clarity to the purpose and direction of the writer.

Third, the book is balanced in that each of the major sections is covered proportionately. The reader does not feel as if one concept was given too much attention to the neglect of another. Specifically, the first and second sections are shorter than the last, but all three sections adequately address the matter at hand. There is not a sense that the author should have spent more time in a particular area. He points out necessary truth and moves on.

The final strength is the most important. Poirier is thoroughly biblical. There is no sense that he is trying to convince his reader of the latest psychological trends. He is not merely engaging in philosophical discussions. The Bible serves as his source of proper conflict resolution. This elevates his work far above books that do not consider the Bible as the primary source of conflict resolution. His success is found in his confidence in the Scripture’s sufficiency. These four strengths make this book a profitable read.

Every book has weaknesses at some point. Even as the strengths in Poirier’s presentation far outweigh the weaknesses, there are two weaknesses that need to be pointed out. As mentioned above, the book is thorough. However, there are occasions where the thoroughness of the book tends toward laboriousness. There are places where the author continues to expound upon a point that is already adequately covered. Better to over explain than under explain, however, it seems as if some sections could be a bit tighter.

Finally, it would have benefited the writer to be a bit more illustrative. No doubt there are illustrations provided. However, more real life examples, particularly in the third section of the book, would have been helpful to the author’s presentation. This would have added a connecting point with the reader. Regardless of these relatively minor weaknesses in presentation, this book is a great work that is worthy of serious consideration by pastors who desire to be peacemakers.

Points of Agreement and Disagreement

There are many strong points in the book with which the pastor who has dealt with conflict will readily agree. For the task at hand, three will be addressed. First, the assessment of the source of conflict is accurate. Conflict is not something that is external in origin. It begins in the human heart. Disagreements are rooted in the depths of the individuals involved. The external issues merely exacerbate what is happening in the heart.

Second, the direct connection between discipleship and discipline is particularly useful. The church cannot produce disciples of Christ without exercising discipline. Discipleship and discipline are deeply connected. You cannot have one without the other. However, this is not the inaccurate and unbiblical idea that many have of church discipline. Poirier is not advocating a cleansing of the church over any and all disagreements. He is calling for an act of discipline that binds the church together rather than tears it apart. “The point is that discipline is not simply for fornicators, drunkards, or spouse deserters but for all who seek to follow Christ.”

Third, the concepts of confession and forgiveness defined and explained in chapters six and seven are invaluable. Reconciliation is impossible without the confession of those who have committed sin and broken peace. Confession must be genuine. Many supposed acts of confession are no confession at all. The author’s establishment of what true confession is provides a great service to peacemakers.

Likewise, few things are misconstrued in the church like forgiveness. Forgiveness is not forgetting, ignoring, or tolerating. It is choosing not to dwell on an offense. It is determining not to hold an offense as a weapon for the future. It is deciding to let settled matters be settled without unnecessary discussions with others. It is committing to continue in fellowship without allowing the offense to be divisive. If these principles of confession and forgiveness were taken seriously in the body of Christ, surely the staggering rate of division would be significantly slashed.

The only significant point of disagreement was found in the first chapter. The argument that believers are not good at peacemaking because they are heretics at heart seems to be over the top. Certainly there are some who have a skewed view of the Biblical obligation to make peace, however, deeming the difficulty that most have with conflict management as a matter of internal heresy is a bit much. Thankfully the content that followed was strong enough to reengage this reader.


Key Insights

There are three big ideas presented in The Peacemaking Pastor that will enhance future ministry. First, the truth that those involved in conflict are not merely parties but rather brothers and sisters is powerful. This personalizes what the sinful nature tends to depersonalize. This is particularly helpful for the pastor when he is personally called to question. Too many pastors tend to demonize those who question them with phrases like “touch not God’s anointed.” The natural response is often to part fellowship and removed the offender from the church. In some cases, the extreme measure of implementing restraining orders is taken. In rare instances this might be necessary, but seeing a questioner as a brother who deserves a fair hearing seems much more Biblical than the alternative.

Second, the call to pastors to exercise the keys to the kingdom is valuable. The role of pastor is not one of autocracy, however, he is given authority under Christ. In the context of conflict, that role is peacemaker. Therefore he properly utilizes the keys of the kingdom when he extends peace. Connected to this idea is the importance of reminding believers of who they are. This is powerfully illustrated in the author’s story of his correcting his daughter’s behavior by taking her to Ephesians two and showing her who she is in Christ. The calling up rather than preaching down led her to correct inappropriate behavior. This particular exercise of the keys of the kingdom proves very helpful.

Third, chapter thirteen provides a strategy for pastors to follow in leading their churches to be safe places where peace abounds. This steps presented are very practical in nature and can systematically be taught and implemented. Even as there are denominational differences that will work themselves out in implementation, the general principles work for any pastor and church serious about peacemaking.


Conclusion

The volume of truth and practical teaching in The Peacemaking Pastor is phenomenal. Writing a review is challenging in that there are so many strong points that can and rightly should be discussed. Jesus told his disciples that the distinguishing mark of those who belong to him is their love for each other. Far from the romanticized notions of conflict free church life, true love for the brethren is fleshed out in peacemaking. To this end, Albert Poirier has made an invaluable contribution to the church and to the Kingdom. Those who have been called to lead would do good to read and implement these biblical peacemaking truths.

[Viktoriya · Rating 1 out of 5]

I didn’t finish reading, it quickly became very uninteresting. I believe I would enjoy it much more if it was more concise. Some parts of the book were great, like including personal experiences and real life examples. Due to the length of each chapter and the repetition I got through roughly 100 pages over the course of a couple days before I had no more will to read it. I see that some people enjoyed this book a lot, so maybe it just isn’t for me. Finally, this book included some Calvinist views that I did not agree with.

[Chad · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a resource that will enable fruitful and cautious mediation in conflicts both within the corporate church setting and in a personal and familial context. The lists and principles outlined in this book provide helpful parameters for pursuing conflict resolution and are easily replicable which makes this book an exceptional ministerial tool. Chapters 8, 10, 11, and 12 were particularly beneficial.

[Nathan Whitley · Rating 3 out of 5]

I loved the opening sections of the book. A great "theology" of conflict. However, the rest of the book couldn't keep my attention. But this will be a great resource to refer to throughout pastoral ministry.

[Dwain Minor · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a good book on peacemaking within a congregation. Like others, I believe this book could be shorter, but the content is great.

[JT Goodart · Rating 4 out of 5]

A helpful and convicting resource on the necessity of peacemaking in the church, the ongoing nature of discipline, and how people in ministry should never run from conflict.

[Michael Stilley · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very helpful. Basically takes Ken Sande’s stuff and applies it to the work of the pastor.

[L. R. Bouligny Bouligny · Rating 4 out of 5]

A helpful reminder of the pastor's task (and that of all Christians) of being a peacemaker. He makes some good points, and I recommend this alongside The Peacemaker by Ken Sande for everyone in ministry.

[Denham · Rating 3 out of 5]

Poirier gives the big picture by talking about who we are as people in conflict, then gets practical by talking about peacemaking and persons, peacemaking and problems, and assisted peacemaking. As expected, this book is directed at Pastors and how to be a peacemaking in the church.

[Jason · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book will help all pastors resolve conflict. I greatly appreciated the insights and how-to's contained in this book. It makes me want to read The Peacemaker by Ken Sande.

[David Watson · Rating 3 out of 5]

An argument for why and how Christian ministers should be working to see reconciliation in the lives of church members. Overstates his case at times, but some good practical points in an often overlooked area.