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Brothers: 26 Stories of Love and Rivalry
"The next best thing to not having a brother (as I do not) is to have Brothers. "
— Gay Talese Here is a tapestry of stories about the complex and unique relationship that exists between brothers. In this book, some of our finest authors take an unvarnished look at how brothers admire and admonish, revere and revile, connect and compete, love and war with each other. With hearts and minds wide open, and, in some cases, with laugh-out-loud humor, the writers tackle a topic that is as old as the Bible and yet has been, heretofore, overlooked. Contributors range in age from twenty-four to eighty-four, and their stories from comic to tragic. Brothers examines and explores the experiences of love and loyalty and loss, of altruism and anger, of competition and compassion—the confluence of things that conspire to form the unique nature of what it is to be and to have a brother. “Brother.” One of our eternal and quintessential terms of endearment. Tobias Wolff writes, “The good luck of having a brother is partly the luck of having stories to tell.” David Kaczynski, brother of “The Unabomber”: “I’ll start with the premise that a brother shows you who you are—and also who you are not. He’s an image of the self, at one remove . . . You are a ‘we’ with your brother before you are a ‘we’ with any other.” Mikal Gilmore refers to brotherhood as a “fidelity born of blood.” We’ve heard that the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. But where do the apples fall in relation to each other? And are we, in fact, our brothers’ keepers, after all? These stories address those questions and more, and are, like the relationships, full of intimacy and pain, joy and rage, burdens and blessings, humor and humanity.
— Gay Talese Here is a tapestry of stories about the complex and unique relationship that exists between brothers. In this book, some of our finest authors take an unvarnished look at how brothers admire and admonish, revere and revile, connect and compete, love and war with each other. With hearts and minds wide open, and, in some cases, with laugh-out-loud humor, the writers tackle a topic that is as old as the Bible and yet has been, heretofore, overlooked. Contributors range in age from twenty-four to eighty-four, and their stories from comic to tragic. Brothers examines and explores the experiences of love and loyalty and loss, of altruism and anger, of competition and compassion—the confluence of things that conspire to form the unique nature of what it is to be and to have a brother. “Brother.” One of our eternal and quintessential terms of endearment. Tobias Wolff writes, “The good luck of having a brother is partly the luck of having stories to tell.” David Kaczynski, brother of “The Unabomber”: “I’ll start with the premise that a brother shows you who you are—and also who you are not. He’s an image of the self, at one remove . . . You are a ‘we’ with your brother before you are a ‘we’ with any other.” Mikal Gilmore refers to brotherhood as a “fidelity born of blood.” We’ve heard that the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. But where do the apples fall in relation to each other? And are we, in fact, our brothers’ keepers, after all? These stories address those questions and more, and are, like the relationships, full of intimacy and pain, joy and rage, burdens and blessings, humor and humanity.
- GenresNonfiction
304 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 2009
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Displaying 1 - 7 of 7 reviews
March 9, 2024
This collection contains 26 different stories of what is like to be a brother. Although the quality was not always first rate, I did find most to be very interesting. Some were funny (like David Sedaris story) and many very sad and reflective. I especially found the different writers to be authentic and often portrayed ideals from this period (most were about growing up in the 50's and 60's). There was often tragedy involved (one about having a brother in jail, another about accidentally killing your brother, and a third about taking care of someone who is mentally ill). I found myself thinking how comforting it can be to believe in God when you experience tragedies of this magnetude. Frank McCourt wrote the foreword which isn't really a foreword more an autobiographical depiction of his life with his brothers (also the least interesting story in the collection).
September 17, 2009
Some interesting pieces reflecting on relationships between brothers. The ones by David Kaczynski (brother of the Unabomber, and the one who turned him in) and Dominick Dunne (brother-in-law of Joan Didion, recounting from a different perspective some of the stuff addressed in her book about the year after her husband John Gregory Dunne died) stood out especially.
The whole was less than the sum of the parts -- of the 26 selections, I'd say about half would have made excellent individual magazine articles, but reading them straight through I was worn out by the editorial selection strategy. Maybe this is the only way to motivate people to write about their brothers, but it was one remarkable "accidentally shot and killed my brother on a childhood hunting trip" after another "lost touch with my mentally ill homeless brother for years on end" after another "my brother and I struggled with the legacy of being the kids of John Cheever".
Midway through I started hoping there would be just one average (I think) entry along the lines of "my brother and I fought some as kids but now get along ok, don't talk as often as we should, have some unspoken rivalry probably but nothing too severe, love each other's kids.......".
The whole was less than the sum of the parts -- of the 26 selections, I'd say about half would have made excellent individual magazine articles, but reading them straight through I was worn out by the editorial selection strategy. Maybe this is the only way to motivate people to write about their brothers, but it was one remarkable "accidentally shot and killed my brother on a childhood hunting trip" after another "lost touch with my mentally ill homeless brother for years on end" after another "my brother and I struggled with the legacy of being the kids of John Cheever".
Midway through I started hoping there would be just one average (I think) entry along the lines of "my brother and I fought some as kids but now get along ok, don't talk as often as we should, have some unspoken rivalry probably but nothing too severe, love each other's kids.......".
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February 28, 2014I enjoyed this book, mostly because it made me think about my relationship with my own brother. Being a man in the modern western world is fraught with pitfalls, some of which trap us for many years, sometimes forever. It is reassuring to read about other men and their demons, and to see that it is possible to come out on the other side with some dignity and sanity.
March 28, 2020
26 essays from a variety of authors about their relationships with their brothers. Authors include: Daniel Kaczynski (Ted, the unabomber's brother), David Maraniss, Richard Ford, Chris Bohjalian, Dominick Dunne, David Sedaris, and others. Stories range from accidental killings, visits in prison, death, mental illness, growing up together, relationships as adults.
Quotes:
Kaczynski: If there’s a significant difference in age, then the older brother protects the younger with his fists and his power. But the younger brother protects the older with his admiration and love. It should be obvious who bears the greater responsibility.
Bohjalian: Let’s face it: Older siblings invented the mind game...there was no shortage of misinformation he was happy to share.
Geoffrey Wolff: Family stories are always fluid, and to be emotionally exact is to be inconsistent.
Suggest to: people who have brothers, mothers of sons, people looking for a literary read
Quotes:
Kaczynski: If there’s a significant difference in age, then the older brother protects the younger with his fists and his power. But the younger brother protects the older with his admiration and love. It should be obvious who bears the greater responsibility.
Bohjalian: Let’s face it: Older siblings invented the mind game...there was no shortage of misinformation he was happy to share.
Geoffrey Wolff: Family stories are always fluid, and to be emotionally exact is to be inconsistent.
Suggest to: people who have brothers, mothers of sons, people looking for a literary read
December 18, 2024
I wanted to read this book because I was familiar with several of the writers featured, but disappointed when I got it and discovered it was just excerpts from previously published works. For a reader that wasn't familiar with the writers in this book it might motivate them to then go on and read the works that were excerpted here. I had already read the pieces I was most interested in.
February 23, 2010
"The good luck of having a brother," Tobias Wolff writes, "is partly the luck of having stories to tell." "Brothers: 26 Stories of Love and Rivalry," is chock full of them. Culled from essays, short fiction and excerpts from longer works, they describe the mysterious and bedeviling ties that bind male siblings together.
The personal essays work the best because they are quick to establish the parameters that govern fraternal relationships: younger vs. older, close in age vs. far apart, small families vs. large, the hundred-and-one attributes that Phillip Lopate calls "the narcissism of small differences."
With this information out of the way, the essayists proceed with their take on the other one: the golden boy, the problem child, the prodigal son, etc. The drama between brothers tends to follow a familiar script that comes down to the competition for parental love -- especially when that love is meted out in miserly increments.
In an essay co-written by John Cheever's sons, Benjamin and Fred, the younger of the two identifies the three things that constitute brotherhood: blood, memory and the problems they share. The notion that a common problem plays such an important role is interesting, but it raises the question: "Problematic for whom?"
"Family stories are always fluid, and to be emotionally exact is to be inconsistent," warns Geoffrey Wolff in an essay about the troubled relationship he and his more well-known brother, Tobias, had with their erratic father. What makes the essay so interesting is that it's paired with his brother's account of the very same events. Taken together they suggest that brothers -- maybe more than fathers -- measure how close to the tree they've fallen.
No matter the similarities (or perhaps because of them), there comes a time when the brother must establish his own identity. It's a crucial step in the development of a sense of self. "A brother shows you who you are," writes David Kaczynski, "and also who you are not. He's an image of the self, at one remove; but also a representation of the 'other.' "
These distinctions are even more essential when the brother's behavior becomes aberrant, antisocial, even murderous, as in the case of the author's infamous brother, Ted Kaczynski, who was brought to justice when David detected similarities between the so-called "Unabomber's Manifesto" and his brother's letters from the Montana wilderness.
In his stirring and moving essay, David describes the dissolution of his relationship with Ted and the brotherly bond he now shares with one of the men his brother tried to kill. They share blood, memories and problems -- just not the kind either could have ever imagined.
And there are always problems. Mikal Gilmore, whose convicted double-murderer brother, Gary, was shot through the heart by a firing squad after the death penalty was reinstated in the late 1970s, writes movingly about his other brother, Frank. While in the aftermath of their brother's horror, Mikal found himself through writing, Frank succumbed to a life of drifting and despair. When the brothers are reunited, Mikal is astonished by their willingness to make amends. "I had never truly understood the depths of this man's heart or the expanse of his loneliness, but maybe it wasn't too late. Maybe, just maybe, I was ready to learn something worthwhile about the fidelity born of blood."
This review originally appeared in the L.A. Times
The personal essays work the best because they are quick to establish the parameters that govern fraternal relationships: younger vs. older, close in age vs. far apart, small families vs. large, the hundred-and-one attributes that Phillip Lopate calls "the narcissism of small differences."
With this information out of the way, the essayists proceed with their take on the other one: the golden boy, the problem child, the prodigal son, etc. The drama between brothers tends to follow a familiar script that comes down to the competition for parental love -- especially when that love is meted out in miserly increments.
In an essay co-written by John Cheever's sons, Benjamin and Fred, the younger of the two identifies the three things that constitute brotherhood: blood, memory and the problems they share. The notion that a common problem plays such an important role is interesting, but it raises the question: "Problematic for whom?"
"Family stories are always fluid, and to be emotionally exact is to be inconsistent," warns Geoffrey Wolff in an essay about the troubled relationship he and his more well-known brother, Tobias, had with their erratic father. What makes the essay so interesting is that it's paired with his brother's account of the very same events. Taken together they suggest that brothers -- maybe more than fathers -- measure how close to the tree they've fallen.
No matter the similarities (or perhaps because of them), there comes a time when the brother must establish his own identity. It's a crucial step in the development of a sense of self. "A brother shows you who you are," writes David Kaczynski, "and also who you are not. He's an image of the self, at one remove; but also a representation of the 'other.' "
These distinctions are even more essential when the brother's behavior becomes aberrant, antisocial, even murderous, as in the case of the author's infamous brother, Ted Kaczynski, who was brought to justice when David detected similarities between the so-called "Unabomber's Manifesto" and his brother's letters from the Montana wilderness.
In his stirring and moving essay, David describes the dissolution of his relationship with Ted and the brotherly bond he now shares with one of the men his brother tried to kill. They share blood, memories and problems -- just not the kind either could have ever imagined.
And there are always problems. Mikal Gilmore, whose convicted double-murderer brother, Gary, was shot through the heart by a firing squad after the death penalty was reinstated in the late 1970s, writes movingly about his other brother, Frank. While in the aftermath of their brother's horror, Mikal found himself through writing, Frank succumbed to a life of drifting and despair. When the brothers are reunited, Mikal is astonished by their willingness to make amends. "I had never truly understood the depths of this man's heart or the expanse of his loneliness, but maybe it wasn't too late. Maybe, just maybe, I was ready to learn something worthwhile about the fidelity born of blood."
This review originally appeared in the L.A. Times
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June 9, 2011Was mostly interested in David Kaczynski's story about turning in his brother.
Displaying 1 - 7 of 7 reviews