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The Covenant Household
Families are formed by covenants. But what is a covenant, and what does that mean for your family?Throughout Scripture, God makes covenants with His people. This is not just a contract, but a personal bond in which God takes responsibility for His people, and His people respond to him in faith. This is true of our relationship with God, and it is true in the case of lesser covenants, such as the covenant family.
In this short book, Douglas Wilson shows how the family should live in the light of what the Bible says about the covenant. The husband is the head of the household, and this means that the problems of the family members are not their problems but his problems. The husband cannot just dismiss his wife's problems as something she needs to work through by herself, and the parents cannot complain when his kids don't act like they were taught to. The family is bound together in covenant.
This book covers everything from marriage to childrearing to cultural engagement. The family is not just a collection of it is a unit joined together by God, and we should live as though that were true (because it is).
In this short book, Douglas Wilson shows how the family should live in the light of what the Bible says about the covenant. The husband is the head of the household, and this means that the problems of the family members are not their problems but his problems. The husband cannot just dismiss his wife's problems as something she needs to work through by herself, and the parents cannot complain when his kids don't act like they were taught to. The family is bound together in covenant.
This book covers everything from marriage to childrearing to cultural engagement. The family is not just a collection of it is a unit joined together by God, and we should live as though that were true (because it is).
148 pages, Kindle Edition
Published November 15, 2022
255 people are currently reading
864 people want to read
About the author
Douglas Wilson
319 books4,537 followersI write in order to make the little voices in my head go away. Thus far it hasn't worked.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 124 reviews
January 15, 2024
Brilliant! Such a theologically rich case for family yet so practical and wonderfully helpful. I found particularly challenging the call to headship. The husband is the head of the marriage, there is no choice… so you are either a husband who gladly assumes responsibility for his wife and family or you abdicate. I have much praying and work to do!
November 7, 2023
Love Doug’s definition of headship, “glad assumption of responsibility”. Lord, help me with the glad part! Recently, I was convicted about my passivity in homeschooling my kids. This book strengthened that conviction. My wife is the primary educator and she does an excellent job! Yet, I need and want to be much more engaged with her and the kids in schooling.
This book is full of scriptural, wise practical theology for the home. The chapters on “common sins in marriage” and “worldview parenting” were especially helpful for me.
This book is full of scriptural, wise practical theology for the home. The chapters on “common sins in marriage” and “worldview parenting” were especially helpful for me.
January 19, 2024
Found this on my kindle and next thing you know I was through it.
In what I am discovering is part of Wilson's M.O., this little book is direct and clear. The biblical model for the home/family is counter-cultural in many respects, yet so clearly "pro-culture" in that it results in the strongest entity within society.
Wilson touches on every area of responsibility from husbands to wives, to parenting and parenting in light of community. God has established the home to operate in covenant, and has given us the model through the covenant of the gospel of Jesus Christ. Everything else must flow outward from here, God is at work and we respond in faith and obedience...in every corner. This was an impactful read and was able to be so while remaining brief and hard to put down.
In what I am discovering is part of Wilson's M.O., this little book is direct and clear. The biblical model for the home/family is counter-cultural in many respects, yet so clearly "pro-culture" in that it results in the strongest entity within society.
Wilson touches on every area of responsibility from husbands to wives, to parenting and parenting in light of community. God has established the home to operate in covenant, and has given us the model through the covenant of the gospel of Jesus Christ. Everything else must flow outward from here, God is at work and we respond in faith and obedience...in every corner. This was an impactful read and was able to be so while remaining brief and hard to put down.
November 15, 2024
Wilson is the gold standard for the household today.
Solid all around. The Lord has blessed my wife and me with a second and I must continue to walk in faith according to God's plan for my family.
Great short book that covers all the basics!
Solid all around. The Lord has blessed my wife and me with a second and I must continue to walk in faith according to God's plan for my family.
Great short book that covers all the basics!
October 30, 2025
Much of The Covenant Household is recycled material from Douglas Wilson’s earlier work Reforming Marriage—in many places word for word. While there are bits of practical wisdom scattered throughout, the overall theological structure of the “covenant family” Wilson presents is deeply problematic.
Wilson’s theonomy is unmistakable, as he often draws direct 1:1 parallels between Old Testament institutions and New Testament realities, blurring the crucial distinctions between the covenants. His system assumes far too much continuity, leading to confusion. Furthermore, Wilson tends to take biblical analogies far beyond their intended scope. An analogy—by definition—is a comparison that illustrates a truth, not an equation that defines it. When an analogy is treated as literal reality, it ceases to function as an analogy at all.
This flaw is especially evident in his treatment of Ephesians 5, where the marriage relationship is not merely like Christ and the Church, but almost is Christ and the Church in Wilson’s reading. Likewise, his view of “covenantal responsibility” is stretched to the point of distortion: for example, suggesting that a father bears direct guilt before God for his son’s private sin (such as viewing pornography).
If one were to apply Wilson’s theology consistently, it would lead to a household culture heavy on law and external obedience, but light on grace and gospel hope. The result would be a burdensome, works-based environment rather than a joyful, gospel-centered home.
Wilson’s theonomy is unmistakable, as he often draws direct 1:1 parallels between Old Testament institutions and New Testament realities, blurring the crucial distinctions between the covenants. His system assumes far too much continuity, leading to confusion. Furthermore, Wilson tends to take biblical analogies far beyond their intended scope. An analogy—by definition—is a comparison that illustrates a truth, not an equation that defines it. When an analogy is treated as literal reality, it ceases to function as an analogy at all.
This flaw is especially evident in his treatment of Ephesians 5, where the marriage relationship is not merely like Christ and the Church, but almost is Christ and the Church in Wilson’s reading. Likewise, his view of “covenantal responsibility” is stretched to the point of distortion: for example, suggesting that a father bears direct guilt before God for his son’s private sin (such as viewing pornography).
If one were to apply Wilson’s theology consistently, it would lead to a household culture heavy on law and external obedience, but light on grace and gospel hope. The result would be a burdensome, works-based environment rather than a joyful, gospel-centered home.
June 29, 2023
High marks for its readability, practical nature, grace laden pages, faith inducing arguments, and practical help. This book helped me to take the next step in thinking about how to be a godly husband that takes responsibility for my home and trusts in Christ.
A disclaimer for baptists: Doug baptizes babies. He also believes in covenant succession more forcefullly than most baptists. So the chapters on trusting God for your children’s salvation might sound odd, perhaps no more than the part where he says a father should respond to a child saying “what if I don’t want to go to heaven” with “too bad, it’s not up to you” but if anything it can be a helpful counterweight to our tendency to sow doubt into our kids after they profess faith in Christ.
A disclaimer for baptists: Doug baptizes babies. He also believes in covenant succession more forcefullly than most baptists. So the chapters on trusting God for your children’s salvation might sound odd, perhaps no more than the part where he says a father should respond to a child saying “what if I don’t want to go to heaven” with “too bad, it’s not up to you” but if anything it can be a helpful counterweight to our tendency to sow doubt into our kids after they profess faith in Christ.
June 4, 2024
So good
March 27, 2023
Excellent book on the household, except for that pesky Presbyterian over-spiritualization of the family that always gets in the way ;)
November 5, 2024
(4/5) Overall a good and helpful layout of defining covenantal relationships/marriages and what they look like. There are things for husbands, fathers, wives, mothers, and children in here. My feedback is that Doug makes a lot of good points but which are presented either one-sided, or lopsided (I.e. he doesn’t round out his argument or explain the limits of it to a sufficient extent).
I definitely recommend this to the Christian who is thoughtful about their marriage, family, and household dynamics!
Critiques:
• I don’t agree with his take on responsibility for others — I see his point and can agree with it to an extent, but I at least think he did not balance it with limitations necessary for healthy responsibility in fathers and teaching that to sons/daughters.
• His take of relativism of art or music was, I don’t think, sufficiently made. I don’t believe he made it argument well and did not show why what he calls relativism is not the same as different tastes. Perhaps there’s another book or essay he has that’s more in depth on this, since this is a very minor point to his main thesis.
I definitely recommend this to the Christian who is thoughtful about their marriage, family, and household dynamics!
Critiques:
• I don’t agree with his take on responsibility for others — I see his point and can agree with it to an extent, but I at least think he did not balance it with limitations necessary for healthy responsibility in fathers and teaching that to sons/daughters.
• His take of relativism of art or music was, I don’t think, sufficiently made. I don’t believe he made it argument well and did not show why what he calls relativism is not the same as different tastes. Perhaps there’s another book or essay he has that’s more in depth on this, since this is a very minor point to his main thesis.
July 8, 2024
Brilliant. Wilson presents a blueprint for the Christian household, and how to effectively exalt Christ in the home, explains covenantal and intergenerational thinking, the role of husbands and wives, children, discipline, discipleship, family worship, and everything in between. Extremely understandable and clear, and theologically sound.
August 10, 2024
Great book.
It teaches men and women to be men and women while being witty and engaging.
Wilson, instead of being a boring teacher, presents what could described as principles that any christian family can apply in order to honor Christ as a family in the New Covenant.
Highly recommend it!
It teaches men and women to be men and women while being witty and engaging.
Wilson, instead of being a boring teacher, presents what could described as principles that any christian family can apply in order to honor Christ as a family in the New Covenant.
Highly recommend it!
March 29, 2023
Edifying book; extremely convicting.
May 27, 2023
Great. Succinct. Practical. Even if you've read Wilson's previous work this will be a great reminder with updated applications.
May 28, 2023
Filled with wisdom and truth about marriage and parenting that is seldom heard let alone lived out in America today. Convicting applications and practical exhortations for husbands, wives, and parents. I will likely be revisiting many of the chapters to better let the ideas soak in.
September 1, 2023
The Covenant Household by Douglas Wilson is superb! Definitely the one-stop-shop book for the many teachings he has done over the years on the biblical family. Highly recommend this book.
November 3, 2023
Excellent. I really appreciate Doug Wilson’s willingness to say spiritually hard-hitting things every other page. XD These things need to be said and it is important that the church listen.
September 9, 2024
This patriarchal guy really makes me want to rush home and lay my life down for my wife and kids out of joyful and obedient reverence to the Lord who has lavished grace upon grace on me.
December 23, 2025
While I don’t agree with some of Wilson’s ecclesiology, this book presented a compelling and inspiring roadmap to leading your family faithfully.
April 5, 2024
Excelente exposição/resumo da visão cristã sobre casamento, vida em família e criação de filhos.
April 12, 2023
Great book.
November 8, 2023
I will say upfront that I have some reticence when it comes to Douglas Wilson. But—The 2nd half made this worth it, good stuff on parenting and faith/faithfulness. A quick easy read. Heavy on practical, less so on theology, so perhaps directed more at his already-grounded-in-grace-so-let’s-get-straight-to-the-kick-in-the-pants (Presbyterian) followers.
It reads like a backwards Pauline letter - it felt weighted on ‘to-do’ side but the final chapters were heavier on grace. I would be hesitant to direct someone to this who wasn’t fully grounded in the theological framework of grace and faith, Christ and the Bride, because (though he cautions against it) an eager and new or naive believer could take this as a checklist kind of book. But that’s the limitation of writing a short accessible book.
It reads like a backwards Pauline letter - it felt weighted on ‘to-do’ side but the final chapters were heavier on grace. I would be hesitant to direct someone to this who wasn’t fully grounded in the theological framework of grace and faith, Christ and the Bride, because (though he cautions against it) an eager and new or naive believer could take this as a checklist kind of book. But that’s the limitation of writing a short accessible book.
May 21, 2024
Excellent resource for parents.
December 17, 2024
Reading about Abraham Lincoln a few years back ( Team of Rivals), one of the things that most stuck with me was that he not only made his Cabinet of the best people he could find--even men who had run against him as presidential candidates--but he also never made anyone "fall on the sword" for him or publicly blamed anyone. His attitude was that as the President, the buck stopped with him, and if anyone of his Cabinet had made a mistake, ultimately it was the President's responsibility to own that mistake and make it right. I felt that somehow, this is very close to the heart of true leadership.
And so, Wilson's book about covenant headship resonated with me in the same way, for much the same reason. Wilson underscores that God has made the man the head of the wife by the design of creation (even if the man abuses, neglects, or tries to abandon this role), and that he is responsible before God not only for his own life but also for that of his family. The twin examples of Adam and Jesus as examples of covenantal headship hit home; both of these men's actions represented and impacted not only themselves but everyone under their headship, for evil or for radical blessing.
The book landed squarely on my current season of life as I am navigating the daily realities and responsibilities of being a new husband, new dad, etc. More generally, I am trying to process and internalize what godly masculinity is and means, what it looks like to take ownership and responsibility not only for my life but for the lives and spiritual state of those under my care. Perhaps the most poignant example in the book was that if a man chooses to "secretly" view pornography, he should understand that in one serious covenantal sense he is bringing his wife and kids in to the room to watch as well.
I don't know much about Douglas Wilson as a person, other than that he is controversial (to put it mildly). His forcefulness certainly comes through in his writing. I can easily picture how his strong convictions/recommendations might tip someone who is naturally prone to anxious rule-following (i.e. someone like me) towards legalism. Wilson's ideals (e.g. stay at home mom, avoiding public schools, etc.) are not the only way to faithfully live within the culture. The book started to meander a tiny bit towards the end, e.g. when Wilson says that parents should help kids judge not only the spiritual content of films, music, etc. but also judge their aesthetic/artistic value. How exactly you would judge not only the lyrics but also the aesthetic value of a song "from a Biblical worldview" escapes me.
Nevertheless, I appreciate Wilson's honest and serious attempts to engage the real culture as it is today with the full weight of Scripture. There's much food for thought here even if I don't follow his specific concrete suggestions. I also appreciated that Wilson balances and undergirds his calls for radical obedience with deep emphasis that even the ability to keep the covenant does not come from ourselves but is itself a grace, a gift from God. Ultimately it is God who will keep our covenants as we faithfully trust Him and seek to obey. It is God who will bless our families, our children, as we yield our lives to Him in faithful, joyful trust. God has promised to bless the children of those who love him to the thousandth generation. God always keeps his covenants, and every promise of God finds its yes in Jesus Christ.
"Many of the people reading this book are probably ancestors of hundreds of thousands of people. Centuries from now, there will be people on this planet who would not be on this planet had they not met their wives and had children. God has promised them. We cannot see our great-great-grandchildren, but we can trust God for them, and we can love our children for their sake. So love your children. Love your grandchildren. Embrace them all, trust God for them, and receive His promises for them."
And so, Wilson's book about covenant headship resonated with me in the same way, for much the same reason. Wilson underscores that God has made the man the head of the wife by the design of creation (even if the man abuses, neglects, or tries to abandon this role), and that he is responsible before God not only for his own life but also for that of his family. The twin examples of Adam and Jesus as examples of covenantal headship hit home; both of these men's actions represented and impacted not only themselves but everyone under their headship, for evil or for radical blessing.
The book landed squarely on my current season of life as I am navigating the daily realities and responsibilities of being a new husband, new dad, etc. More generally, I am trying to process and internalize what godly masculinity is and means, what it looks like to take ownership and responsibility not only for my life but for the lives and spiritual state of those under my care. Perhaps the most poignant example in the book was that if a man chooses to "secretly" view pornography, he should understand that in one serious covenantal sense he is bringing his wife and kids in to the room to watch as well.
I don't know much about Douglas Wilson as a person, other than that he is controversial (to put it mildly). His forcefulness certainly comes through in his writing. I can easily picture how his strong convictions/recommendations might tip someone who is naturally prone to anxious rule-following (i.e. someone like me) towards legalism. Wilson's ideals (e.g. stay at home mom, avoiding public schools, etc.) are not the only way to faithfully live within the culture. The book started to meander a tiny bit towards the end, e.g. when Wilson says that parents should help kids judge not only the spiritual content of films, music, etc. but also judge their aesthetic/artistic value. How exactly you would judge not only the lyrics but also the aesthetic value of a song "from a Biblical worldview" escapes me.
Nevertheless, I appreciate Wilson's honest and serious attempts to engage the real culture as it is today with the full weight of Scripture. There's much food for thought here even if I don't follow his specific concrete suggestions. I also appreciated that Wilson balances and undergirds his calls for radical obedience with deep emphasis that even the ability to keep the covenant does not come from ourselves but is itself a grace, a gift from God. Ultimately it is God who will keep our covenants as we faithfully trust Him and seek to obey. It is God who will bless our families, our children, as we yield our lives to Him in faithful, joyful trust. God has promised to bless the children of those who love him to the thousandth generation. God always keeps his covenants, and every promise of God finds its yes in Jesus Christ.
"Many of the people reading this book are probably ancestors of hundreds of thousands of people. Centuries from now, there will be people on this planet who would not be on this planet had they not met their wives and had children. God has promised them. We cannot see our great-great-grandchildren, but we can trust God for them, and we can love our children for their sake. So love your children. Love your grandchildren. Embrace them all, trust God for them, and receive His promises for them."
March 21, 2024
Much of this little book is excellent. Engaging and straight to the point. Douglas Wilson’s theology and use of Scripture is spot on and thought provoking. Made me step back and honestly evaluate where my husband, I, and our household are at in terms of submission to Scripture and God’s model for us.
I appreciated Wilson’s blunt and brief touching on modern Christian and cultural issues such as homeschooling, same-sex marriage, and “aesthetic” trends. Much of his statements looked at such issues from a different angle than the typical conservative reformed individual; I found this to be difficult and challenging to read yet helpful and productive in some ways.
Only drawbacks were 1) I’m not a fan of the KJV so at times Scripture was harder to connect with, 2) I did notice a few typos that need to be corrected, 3) Wilson assumes his audience are all paedobaptists so a few examples he uses get lost in translation for readers (like myself) who are credobaptist, and 4) I felt as if the last two chapters were a little clunky and missed some marks that should be considered important to keeping a covenant household (more on the side of homemaking, friendships, church membership, etc)
I appreciated Wilson’s blunt and brief touching on modern Christian and cultural issues such as homeschooling, same-sex marriage, and “aesthetic” trends. Much of his statements looked at such issues from a different angle than the typical conservative reformed individual; I found this to be difficult and challenging to read yet helpful and productive in some ways.
Only drawbacks were 1) I’m not a fan of the KJV so at times Scripture was harder to connect with, 2) I did notice a few typos that need to be corrected, 3) Wilson assumes his audience are all paedobaptists so a few examples he uses get lost in translation for readers (like myself) who are credobaptist, and 4) I felt as if the last two chapters were a little clunky and missed some marks that should be considered important to keeping a covenant household (more on the side of homemaking, friendships, church membership, etc)
November 22, 2023
There is a lot of good in this book. However, I have two main complaints that make me say “it was meh”
1. It is essentially a repackaging and summary of many of Doug’s other books on family (Federal Husband, Reforming marriage, etc.) having already read some of these, this current book didn’t really add much. And honestly, although for some people having a quick read summary is good, I prefer having each of the topics addressed broadly be analyzed in their own book.
2. For a book entitled “covenant household” I don’t think Doug does a good job actually defining what he means by covenant. He gives a definition sure, he talks about covenant blessings and curses, but in his discussion of covenant he spends almost no time defining it theologically (I.e. the covenant of grace etc.) I think this becomes a particularly glaring omission when discussing children. What IS a child’s relation to the covenant? Are they partaking in the substance of the covenant or just the administration of it?
As soon as you start talking about covenant and family things become complicated and precision is needed. I was disappointed the book kinda hand waves the tough questions away in favor of more practical concerns. I was hoping this book was not going to be a rehash but rather a deep dive into the covenant household but in the end, it has some good comments and points but nothing extraordinary if you have read other Wilson books
1. It is essentially a repackaging and summary of many of Doug’s other books on family (Federal Husband, Reforming marriage, etc.) having already read some of these, this current book didn’t really add much. And honestly, although for some people having a quick read summary is good, I prefer having each of the topics addressed broadly be analyzed in their own book.
2. For a book entitled “covenant household” I don’t think Doug does a good job actually defining what he means by covenant. He gives a definition sure, he talks about covenant blessings and curses, but in his discussion of covenant he spends almost no time defining it theologically (I.e. the covenant of grace etc.) I think this becomes a particularly glaring omission when discussing children. What IS a child’s relation to the covenant? Are they partaking in the substance of the covenant or just the administration of it?
As soon as you start talking about covenant and family things become complicated and precision is needed. I was disappointed the book kinda hand waves the tough questions away in favor of more practical concerns. I was hoping this book was not going to be a rehash but rather a deep dive into the covenant household but in the end, it has some good comments and points but nothing extraordinary if you have read other Wilson books
February 1, 2025
This book was an excellent introduction to the theology of a christian household. Unfortunately, because this is something I am already interested and educated in, thank you bright hearth podcast, I felt like I was splashing around in a kiddie pool. I was hoping for more depth in this topic. Also, since Doug Wilson has a book on many of the topics he writes about in this book, mainly his marriage and parenting books, and since I am already familiar with those books, I felt like I regressed a little in reading this one. However, If I had not been introduced to bright hearth, nor those other books, this would have made a much better impression on me.
November 23, 2023
This one was somewhere between three and four stars for me, but I landed closer to four simply because the content was really good. I leaned towards three stars because it seems to be a shorter repetition of all the things we would expect Wilson to say about the family. This one is particularly helpful if you have not been introduced to any of Wilson’s family heritage series (ye ole’ Wilson classics). If you are well familiar with Wilson, this one doesn’t add much to the conversation but it is nonetheless good and helpful.
June 6, 2025
Very, very good. This is really like a worldview of the household which is crucial to understand. In some ways this book is as practical as I wanted (as in really addressing the particular temptations and sins of husbands and wives) and in other ways not so much (the parenting chapters didn’t cover discipline, spanking, etc). The greatest strength of this book is its unrelenting commitment to reminding the reader of God’s covenant promises and the necessity of the grace of the gospel for husbands, wives and parents. Godly covenantal households run on faith, not on our own merits.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 124 reviews