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Tender Graces
A gentle yet unflinching look at how we find our way home. A woman returns to her West Virginia roots to resolve the ghosts of her childhood. In the tradition of Rebecca Wells, Sue Monk Kidd, Olive Ann Burns, and Dorothy Allison. TENDER GRACES by Kathryn Magendie is strong literary women s fiction written with exquisite style. The death of her troubled mother and memories of her abused grandmother lure a young woman back to the Appalachian hollow where she was born. Virginia Kate, the daughter of a beautiful mountain wild-child and a slick, Shakespeare-quoting salesman, relives her turbulent childhood and the pain of her mother s betrayals. Haunted by ghosts and buried family secrets, Virginia Kate struggles to reconcile three generations of her family s lost innocence.
294 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2009
94 people are currently reading
811 people want to read
About the author
Kathryn Magendie
12 books62 followersKathryn Magendie is an Amazon Best-selling Author of five novels and a novella—TENDER GRACES, her first novel, was an Amazon Kindle Number 1 best-seller, SWEETIE and THE LIGHTNING CHARMER were Amazon best-sellers.
As well as her novelist life, she’s a freelance editor, personal trainer, and former Publishing Editor of The Rose & Thorn.
Her short stories, essays, poetry, and photography have been published in print and online publications. Her novels are available in print and ebook.
She lives in the Smoky Mountains in a little log house in the Cove at Killian Knob in Maggie Valley, Western North Carolina.
I appreciate and adore all my readers! *muwah!*
As well as her novelist life, she’s a freelance editor, personal trainer, and former Publishing Editor of The Rose & Thorn.
Her short stories, essays, poetry, and photography have been published in print and online publications. Her novels are available in print and ebook.
She lives in the Smoky Mountains in a little log house in the Cove at Killian Knob in Maggie Valley, Western North Carolina.
I appreciate and adore all my readers! *muwah!*
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May 18, 2009This is my own book - so I won't rate it *smiling* But I just couldn't help but put it on my shelf!
May 26, 2011
Every once in awhile there comes along a book, that within the first few pages, a reader knows for certain that they've unearthed a treasure. It not only grabs hold, but holds fast, effortlessly pulling the reader within its pages and keeping them there even after they've turned the last page. Tender Graces by Kathryn Magendie is such a book.
This most beautifully composed story belongs to Virgina Kate, although her narrative is strongly supported by a cast of vivid and memorable characters. There are no fillers here. Everyone you meet within this story is either necessary or worthy of inclusion amongst the ever changing hills and valleys that highlight Virgina Kate's life journey. Characters so beautifully and intricately faceted that it's almost impossible to believe that they do not actually exist in the real world beyond the pages.
Returning home to her West Virginia roots, Virgina Kate finds herself at once looking deep into the heart of ghosts, memories, heartbreak, and betrayals that she's carried for a lifetime. A beloved grandmother who has left this world tragically, has nevertheless remained as a faithful anchor in the life of a lost and conflicted child. A wildly beautiful and broken mother who cracks wide open the hearts of her children time and again; sadly unable to find her own place of healing. A Shakespeare quoting father, as loving as he is selfish. A trio of brothers, as different as they are remarkable; each endearing for their particular blends of charm, love, and loyalty over the course of their shared history of pain and family secrets.
Magendie easily captivates the reader with a literary style that is rich and infinitely gorgeous -- luminous threads intricately woven into the most exquisite cloth. And even then, this wonderfully skilled author has equally composed laugh out loud moments, unforgettable scenes, and powerfully drawn emotions that not only makes Tender Graces an impossible to put down novel, but all the more unforgettable even once you've turned the final page.
This most beautifully composed story belongs to Virgina Kate, although her narrative is strongly supported by a cast of vivid and memorable characters. There are no fillers here. Everyone you meet within this story is either necessary or worthy of inclusion amongst the ever changing hills and valleys that highlight Virgina Kate's life journey. Characters so beautifully and intricately faceted that it's almost impossible to believe that they do not actually exist in the real world beyond the pages.
Returning home to her West Virginia roots, Virgina Kate finds herself at once looking deep into the heart of ghosts, memories, heartbreak, and betrayals that she's carried for a lifetime. A beloved grandmother who has left this world tragically, has nevertheless remained as a faithful anchor in the life of a lost and conflicted child. A wildly beautiful and broken mother who cracks wide open the hearts of her children time and again; sadly unable to find her own place of healing. A Shakespeare quoting father, as loving as he is selfish. A trio of brothers, as different as they are remarkable; each endearing for their particular blends of charm, love, and loyalty over the course of their shared history of pain and family secrets.
Magendie easily captivates the reader with a literary style that is rich and infinitely gorgeous -- luminous threads intricately woven into the most exquisite cloth. And even then, this wonderfully skilled author has equally composed laugh out loud moments, unforgettable scenes, and powerfully drawn emotions that not only makes Tender Graces an impossible to put down novel, but all the more unforgettable even once you've turned the final page.
February 8, 2011
This is a well written novel about a broken family living in West Virginia and then in Louisiana. Being from New Orleans, many places were easily recognizable. The author successfully deals with dysfunctional issues within the family and weaves them into an endearing tale of a young child. It is told through her voice as an adult and also during her childhood. It is both sad and redeeming. Colorful passages and well established characters make this a good book. I read "Sweetie" before I read "Tender Graces" and have decided that I like Magendie. I liked the latter book better because of the depth of the characters and absence of the obvious supernatural. The siblings in "Tender Graces" are strongly bonded and makes this novel so satisfying. The one negative comment that I must make is there is an overuse of swearing and bad language by the children and all of the adults except the angelic Rebekkha and supporting neighbors. The teasing and other prolemics that go on with the use of rhymming names is cute but the swearing is not. This book is memorable.
March 26, 2013
I am not looking forward to trying to express how I feel about this book. To me, it was two books within the same cover. Two for the price of one.
One side of the book was a description of three children growing up in two homes. One home was one where the sense of feeling loved was in short supply; the other was one where a substitute mother gave unconditioned love and the three kids were given a chance to experience abundant living. The other side of the book was a study of personalities and the circumstances that can either distort or strengthen the people involved. If you are left wondering how the title of the book applies to what you have read, I think the truth is you missed the second side of the book.
On the final page, the main character (Virginia Kate) lets the readers know that she has been released and set free. If the study of personalities has been unseen until then, that phrase awakens the realization that there is much more to the book than just that the simple tale. Thus, after you finish the book you will want moments to go back and explore what you think has been imprisoning her so that she needed to be set free. The truth is there – but you may have missed it. I enjoyed the book as much for making me think afterwards as for providing an interesting story as I actually turned the pages. Wow! I did not know I was capable of such a deep reaction.
I think the author did a great job of flushing out the characters and made them very realistic. Her writing style made the flow of the book very enjoyable, even though this is not a happy book. I am glad Virginia Kate felt set free in the end but I wonder if the rest of her life actually was more fulfilling.
As a native West Virginian who grew up in the same era as Virginia Kate’s mother, I must add a personal opinion that this dysfunctional family could easily have lived in another place and another time – the setting of the book did not create the problems they faced. Virginia Kate’s mother and father were mismatched and both sought escape in alcohol while their children paid the price.
July 8, 2009
Loving this book! About halfway thru.
Early Reviewer copy
What can i say? This book was one of the best books I've read in a very long time. I didn't want it to end, i wanted to keep reading , to follow the rest of Virginia Kates life.
Virginia Kate, along with her older brother Micah, younger brother Andy live with their Daddy Frederick and Momma Katie in West Virginia.
Their Momma and Daddy met when Grandma Faith invited Daddy to their house for supper . They were married shortly after but the happiness didn't last forever, they soon were arguing and fighting which escalated day by day and Daddy ends up leaving to Texas to live his Mom while finishing school. Everything goes downhill from there. I wanted to hug Virginia Kate and tell her everything will be ok and i wanted to slap Katie for destroying their kids life. I also wanted to slap their dad too and throw every bottle of booze in the garbage.
A passage from Chapter 1 : All my tired flies out the window when i see Grandma Faith standing in the mountain mists that drift in and out of the trees. She's as she was before, like one lick of fire hasn't touched her, whole and alive and wanting as she beckons me. Grandma whispers her wants as she's done all my life. I put my hand out the car window as Momma used to do, and say "Wheeee..." then holler to the owl flying in the night. "I'm Virginia Kate, and i'm a crazy woman." He keeps his wings spread to find his supper. I don't feel silly one bit.........
Early Reviewer copy
What can i say? This book was one of the best books I've read in a very long time. I didn't want it to end, i wanted to keep reading , to follow the rest of Virginia Kates life.
Virginia Kate, along with her older brother Micah, younger brother Andy live with their Daddy Frederick and Momma Katie in West Virginia.
Their Momma and Daddy met when Grandma Faith invited Daddy to their house for supper . They were married shortly after but the happiness didn't last forever, they soon were arguing and fighting which escalated day by day and Daddy ends up leaving to Texas to live his Mom while finishing school. Everything goes downhill from there. I wanted to hug Virginia Kate and tell her everything will be ok and i wanted to slap Katie for destroying their kids life. I also wanted to slap their dad too and throw every bottle of booze in the garbage.
A passage from Chapter 1 : All my tired flies out the window when i see Grandma Faith standing in the mountain mists that drift in and out of the trees. She's as she was before, like one lick of fire hasn't touched her, whole and alive and wanting as she beckons me. Grandma whispers her wants as she's done all my life. I put my hand out the car window as Momma used to do, and say "Wheeee..." then holler to the owl flying in the night. "I'm Virginia Kate, and i'm a crazy woman." He keeps his wings spread to find his supper. I don't feel silly one bit.........
June 30, 2011
West Virginia has never been a place on my "to-visit" list. I'm sure everyone can say they've heard some joke or another regarding the state, and while I can appreciate that it has its beauty (according to pictures I've seen), it's just always seemed to me a place where sadness and depression would be.
While Tender Graces doesn't debunk that thought of mine, necessarily, it also provides perspective and sheds light on it. In spite of the sadness and depression (which is present everywhere), there's beauty and hope and magic in that place - and that's what the main character, Virginia Kate, finds through this story.
Virginia Kate's mother is beautiful - too beautiful for her own good. And as the years pass, Virginia Kate and her brothers watch their parents marriage crumble and new people are introduced to their lives, including a step-mama. And folks, let me just say I was prepared to hate this woman right along with Virginia Kate - but Rebeckah became, by far, the most dynamic, amazing character in the book for me.
Kathryn Magendie provides beautiful, heart-wrenching emotions through the characters in this book that had me weeping along with them and hoping against hope that everything would turn out okay for them. Set this against a backdrop of beauty, described by some beautiful writing, and it's a southern story that embodies the very essence of a state that is poorly represented by most print that I've read.
While Tender Graces doesn't debunk that thought of mine, necessarily, it also provides perspective and sheds light on it. In spite of the sadness and depression (which is present everywhere), there's beauty and hope and magic in that place - and that's what the main character, Virginia Kate, finds through this story.
Virginia Kate's mother is beautiful - too beautiful for her own good. And as the years pass, Virginia Kate and her brothers watch their parents marriage crumble and new people are introduced to their lives, including a step-mama. And folks, let me just say I was prepared to hate this woman right along with Virginia Kate - but Rebeckah became, by far, the most dynamic, amazing character in the book for me.
Kathryn Magendie provides beautiful, heart-wrenching emotions through the characters in this book that had me weeping along with them and hoping against hope that everything would turn out okay for them. Set this against a backdrop of beauty, described by some beautiful writing, and it's a southern story that embodies the very essence of a state that is poorly represented by most print that I've read.
June 9, 2009
There are books that you instantly fall in love with after the first sentence or paragraph...and there are those that it takes a chapter or so...but this is one of those books I think that you really have to read all the way through to form an opinion about. I can honestly say I didn't know what to think about this book until I read the last few words. It's a story of the things we hold inside of us from our childhood and the importance of letting those things go. It's a family story, it's a growing up story, it's a precautionary story...it's a lot of things. I don't know in the end I realized that I enjoyed it...the overall story I liked and the writing style suited the story. The last line I really love "The release sets me free" because I firmly believe that only by letting go of the ghosts of our past can we ever fully realize the potential of our futures.
June 20, 2011
A very nice voice makes this easy to read.
A West Virginia girl is sent to Lousiana to be raised by her father's new wife. One brother is already there. The other will soon join them.
The book starts with the mother's death. The heroine, how in her fifties, goes back to the Appalachian mountain where she spent her early life to try to reconcile her memories of her mother and her own life.
The story tells how her parents - a Shakespeare loving salesman and her wild mountain mother - met, courted, and married. There's also the part about her grandmother's abuse at the hands of her husband. She also remembers her stepmother, a woman who gave her the stability she needed after living with her alcoholic/moody mother.
The usual story but told with very nice prose, at times lyrical, at times too much so.
A nice read.
A West Virginia girl is sent to Lousiana to be raised by her father's new wife. One brother is already there. The other will soon join them.
The book starts with the mother's death. The heroine, how in her fifties, goes back to the Appalachian mountain where she spent her early life to try to reconcile her memories of her mother and her own life.
The story tells how her parents - a Shakespeare loving salesman and her wild mountain mother - met, courted, and married. There's also the part about her grandmother's abuse at the hands of her husband. She also remembers her stepmother, a woman who gave her the stability she needed after living with her alcoholic/moody mother.
The usual story but told with very nice prose, at times lyrical, at times too much so.
A nice read.
March 19, 2013
Virginia Kate's coming-to-terms journey of wrestling with her past could resonate with many of us. As an adult looking in the rear view mirror, she is able to see more clearly the choices her grandmother, father, and even her mother, made that shaped the woman she has become. She finds a path to acceptance and forgiveness that I found to be endearing and hopeful.
I found myself frequently chuckling at Virginia Kate's childhood perceptions of many things including an embarrassing grandma, brothers, and cute boys in school.
This was a delightful and heartwarming read!
I found myself frequently chuckling at Virginia Kate's childhood perceptions of many things including an embarrassing grandma, brothers, and cute boys in school.
This was a delightful and heartwarming read!
November 21, 2011
Magendie is an artist with a talent for molding words in a unique way to capture the perfect feeling of a place or emotion. I was scared for Virginia Kate and her brothers, afraid of what would happen, but I was also drawn into her world and all it entailed. I wish there was a 7 star rating, because that's what I'd give this book. Read it to the end, you won't regret it.
March 25, 2011
I so loved this book. It is the well written account of a young girl's life in the Appalachian Hollow. Upon reading the last word, I had that peaceful satisfaction that you get after a terrific meal. My spirit has been wonderfully fed.
January 4, 2017
I still wish for half stars.
Virginia-Kate narrates the story of her family. Born in the West Virginia mountains to two raging alcoholics, Virginia-Kate still manages to mostly see the. Right side. When her parents are getting along and managing their alcoholism, life is pretty good for she and her brothers Micah and Andy. But, both Virginia-Kate's parents were raised in a teeming pit of dysfunction and that couplers with drinking and infidelity drives the couple apart.
Slowly Kate, the mother of Micah, Virginia-Kate and Andy, sell the children off to their father and then the kids have to pick up the pieces of a violent, unstable childhood. Virginia-Kate may also be psychic. Or clairvoyant. Or just really imaginative.
It was a very fast read, but it sort of begs to be read allowed. There's a lot of phonetic spellings of the West Virginian and Louisianan accent that just begs to be said and pronounced instead of just written.
Solid story.
Virginia-Kate narrates the story of her family. Born in the West Virginia mountains to two raging alcoholics, Virginia-Kate still manages to mostly see the. Right side. When her parents are getting along and managing their alcoholism, life is pretty good for she and her brothers Micah and Andy. But, both Virginia-Kate's parents were raised in a teeming pit of dysfunction and that couplers with drinking and infidelity drives the couple apart.
Slowly Kate, the mother of Micah, Virginia-Kate and Andy, sell the children off to their father and then the kids have to pick up the pieces of a violent, unstable childhood. Virginia-Kate may also be psychic. Or clairvoyant. Or just really imaginative.
It was a very fast read, but it sort of begs to be read allowed. There's a lot of phonetic spellings of the West Virginian and Louisianan accent that just begs to be said and pronounced instead of just written.
Solid story.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
April 30, 2022
Loved this book!
Kathryn is my absolute favorite Author. Her books take me to me Pennsylvania mountains that I grew up in.
When I read Tender Graces I am there with Each character. They become real to me & I can feel Grandma Faith’s quilt wrapped around me. Each character is so different & each have their own story to tell. Virginia is my favorite. She brings each story to life. This book is one, like the book Sweetie (my favorite ever) that you will read again & again. I read about 3 novels a week & I so wish all were Kathryn Magendie stories. Her books make me feel the story. Please continue to write more books. I continue to search for books that sound they were written by Kathryn. She is a beautiful, amazing & exception story teller. Anything she writes I will read.
Kathryn is my absolute favorite Author. Her books take me to me Pennsylvania mountains that I grew up in.
When I read Tender Graces I am there with Each character. They become real to me & I can feel Grandma Faith’s quilt wrapped around me. Each character is so different & each have their own story to tell. Virginia is my favorite. She brings each story to life. This book is one, like the book Sweetie (my favorite ever) that you will read again & again. I read about 3 novels a week & I so wish all were Kathryn Magendie stories. Her books make me feel the story. Please continue to write more books. I continue to search for books that sound they were written by Kathryn. She is a beautiful, amazing & exception story teller. Anything she writes I will read.
July 21, 2018
I enjoyed this book - the characters, the writing, the setting, the relationships. All were well-defined and believable. The story is told through the eyes of Virginia Kate, as an adult, but mostly as a child. Her life in West Virginia and Louisiana was about as dysfunctional as they come. Parents, grandparents, aunts, and uncles - some evil, some just misguided. There are parts of the story where she and her siblings remind me of the children in The Glass Castle (Jeannette Walls.) The love she carries for her unhappy, alcoholic mother live up to the title - tender graces.
February 21, 2020
I fell in love with the children of this book. Virginia Kate and her brothers grabbed hold of my heart and still haven't let go. Thank goodness it is the first of a 3 part trilogy, so I can spend more time with them in the future. It did take a few chapters to grab me - I was a little disoriented by what felt like an autobiographical tone of a fiction book - but that was MY issue, coming off of just having read "Educated". Recommended for fans of "The Glass Castle" and coming of age through adversity fans.
June 21, 2020
Powerful.
Coming from the mountains, as well as growing up under the influence of a emotionally manipulative mother and grandmother, I strongly identified with Katie Virginia. The author did a wonderful job in developing each character, and the plot was one that would not let me put the book down. I strongly recommend this book for any woman whose childhood found them growing up under the shadow of volatile and unpredictable motherhood figures.
Coming from the mountains, as well as growing up under the influence of a emotionally manipulative mother and grandmother, I strongly identified with Katie Virginia. The author did a wonderful job in developing each character, and the plot was one that would not let me put the book down. I strongly recommend this book for any woman whose childhood found them growing up under the shadow of volatile and unpredictable motherhood figures.
February 23, 2019
Definitely recommend
This book took me by surprise. I rarely give 5 stars but this book is worth it. The characters are real, it's not too graphic but has the right amount of words to describe what is happening. The writing is excellent and tells a real story of a real family. Please read!
This book took me by surprise. I rarely give 5 stars but this book is worth it. The characters are real, it's not too graphic but has the right amount of words to describe what is happening. The writing is excellent and tells a real story of a real family. Please read!
June 20, 2024
Interesting
Lots of detail but great writing made it interesting. Family discord and disasters kept me reading. Language and explicit. Seemed to weave around and I wasn’t sure of the take away.
Lots of detail but great writing made it interesting. Family discord and disasters kept me reading. Language and explicit. Seemed to weave around and I wasn’t sure of the take away.
May 15, 2017
A wonderful tale in a unique voice.
January 8, 2019
This was a beautifully written book that embraced even further as I progressed into the book.
July 27, 2019
How a dysfunctional family finds some healing and how the power of loved ones can help us through troubling times. The choices we make can really have long reaching effects.
December 31, 2021
Good Read!!
May 15, 2025
Just could not get into this book where the protagonist hears her deceased mom and the mountain calls to her, too offbeat for me.
March 10, 2012
Kathryn Magendie’s novel, Tender Graces, reminds me of that famous line from the Sting song, “If you love somebody, set them free.”
Tender Graces is more than a story of the complicated relationship between mothers and daughters. It is the story of a young girl named Virginia Kate, who overcomes great obstacles to discover who she is. Above all it is a story that teaches valuable lessons about what constitutes a family.
The presence of ghosts is a recurring theme as almost all of the characters are haunted by the past. In some cases, the ghosts represent the pain of a wrenching decision. In other cases, the ghosts are actions the characters cannot take back.
Spanning an entire generation, Tender Graces is set in the mountains of West Virginia and the muggy and wet terrain of Louisiana. The story begins with the courtship and quick marriage of Virginia Kate’s mother, Katie Ivene Holm, to Frederick Carey, a Shakespeare-quoting traveling salesman. Katie’s mom, Grandma Faith, sees Frederick as the best hope for her daughter to escape a future of poverty and abuse, so she sets her free. Life with Frederick isn’t much better, though. His drinking and womanizing cause Katie to hit the bottle herself. Three children come in rapid succession: Micha, Virginia Kate, and Andy.
Magendie skillfully uses images such as the ice hitting the glass, shouting behind closed doors, and Virginia Kate taking refuge in the closet to dramatize the pain the children endure. The couple divorces and Frederick moves to Texas and then to Louisiana, where he marries Rebekha. When Virginia Kate first meets Rebekha, she wants nothing to do with her. Eventually, Frederick takes all three children, one by one, from his ex-wife, whose life continues on a downward spiral.
Rebekha’s relationship with Virginia Kate provides some of the more heartwarming moments in the novel. Virginia Kate comes to see Rebekha as a mother figure and Rebekha gives her love unconditionally to all three children. When Virginia Kate returns to West Virginia to nurse her mother back to health after a serious car accident, her mother sends her away again. It is not an act of rejection, but an act of love. Like her mother before her, Katie Ivene knows she must set her daughter free.
Magendie’s prose has a simple elegance. She uses imagery and setting to underscore the themes of the story. This is a touching family saga that I highly recommend.
Tender Graces is more than a story of the complicated relationship between mothers and daughters. It is the story of a young girl named Virginia Kate, who overcomes great obstacles to discover who she is. Above all it is a story that teaches valuable lessons about what constitutes a family.
The presence of ghosts is a recurring theme as almost all of the characters are haunted by the past. In some cases, the ghosts represent the pain of a wrenching decision. In other cases, the ghosts are actions the characters cannot take back.
Spanning an entire generation, Tender Graces is set in the mountains of West Virginia and the muggy and wet terrain of Louisiana. The story begins with the courtship and quick marriage of Virginia Kate’s mother, Katie Ivene Holm, to Frederick Carey, a Shakespeare-quoting traveling salesman. Katie’s mom, Grandma Faith, sees Frederick as the best hope for her daughter to escape a future of poverty and abuse, so she sets her free. Life with Frederick isn’t much better, though. His drinking and womanizing cause Katie to hit the bottle herself. Three children come in rapid succession: Micha, Virginia Kate, and Andy.
Magendie skillfully uses images such as the ice hitting the glass, shouting behind closed doors, and Virginia Kate taking refuge in the closet to dramatize the pain the children endure. The couple divorces and Frederick moves to Texas and then to Louisiana, where he marries Rebekha. When Virginia Kate first meets Rebekha, she wants nothing to do with her. Eventually, Frederick takes all three children, one by one, from his ex-wife, whose life continues on a downward spiral.
Rebekha’s relationship with Virginia Kate provides some of the more heartwarming moments in the novel. Virginia Kate comes to see Rebekha as a mother figure and Rebekha gives her love unconditionally to all three children. When Virginia Kate returns to West Virginia to nurse her mother back to health after a serious car accident, her mother sends her away again. It is not an act of rejection, but an act of love. Like her mother before her, Katie Ivene knows she must set her daughter free.
Magendie’s prose has a simple elegance. She uses imagery and setting to underscore the themes of the story. This is a touching family saga that I highly recommend.
April 20, 2016
Семья, семья треснутая, семья сквозь годы от лица ребенка.
Хорошее такое описание дисфункциональной семьи вглубь. К дедушкам и бабушкам. Как оно все бывает. И как это не приговор все равно, что бы ни случилось, как бы ни рос ты - но как мучительно сложно, и как остается вина, и как много работы ты делаешь, чтобы вырасти в другую сторону. Чтобы просто принять, что все это случилось с тобой, и перерасти страх и обреченность стать таким же. И у Ионы был тот же набор, что у Кэти. Но он вырос другим. Выборы, и разрешения, и внутреннее право себе быть каким-то, и внутреннее "мне все должны, это я тут несчастный самый, я много страдал".
Нехватка смирения? да, наверно.
И у Ребекки все было непросто. И снова - выбор. Ежедневный, и пока ты жив, ничего не закончено, и выбор можно делать новый - снова и снова. Менять курс своего корабля.
И в качестве шпр эту книжку надо читать обязательно. Это ведь про биородителей. Как оно бывает. И почему. И кто-то справился со своими ветрами, а кто-то нет, и все это жизнь. И есть любовь, есть любовь всегда, она не свидетельство, я не знаю, широты души ребенка или там святости его - она просто базовая потребность, любить свою маму и своего папу. Очарованность и тяга. Изначальный магнит. И это невозможно не учитывать, нельзя отвергать. Вот эта двойная любовь-ненависть, что иссушает душу. Не надо ребенку одному ее проходить. Неправильно это. Нет тут единого ответа, мать плохая, мать хорошая, просто нету.
А вернуться, прожить все самому, отличить реальность от марева воспоминаний и грез - нужно, да.
И это больно. И лучше бы было, на кого опереться.
И тогда может быть выйдет - смочь отпустить. Вот эту обреченность и якорь - быть такой, ждать любви оттуда, становиться ею же.
И еще скажу одну непопулярную мысль. Здесь, в книжке, она тоже мелькает.
"Возможно, обе они неспроста позволили детям покинуть дом? Хотели уберечь от судьбы?"
Возможно, это и есть главный дар. Дар жизни - и дар другой жизни, прыжка в сторону. Перемены участи.
Будто кинуть в шлюпку с тонущего корабля. Авось подберут. Безответственность, желание не думать? или, наоборот, подсознательное думание как раз, и максимальная забота.
Кто знает. Кто может судить. Я стараюсь не делать это.
Ну и это теперь одна из моих любимых книжек, да. В ней много боли, но и много силы, и просто жизни, течения ее, и ее простоты. Осколки, зарисовки дней, сплетающиеся в общий узор.
И много тепла.
Хорошее такое описание дисфункциональной семьи вглубь. К дедушкам и бабушкам. Как оно все бывает. И как это не приговор все равно, что бы ни случилось, как бы ни рос ты - но как мучительно сложно, и как остается вина, и как много работы ты делаешь, чтобы вырасти в другую сторону. Чтобы просто принять, что все это случилось с тобой, и перерасти страх и обреченность стать таким же. И у Ионы был тот же набор, что у Кэти. Но он вырос другим. Выборы, и разрешения, и внутреннее право себе быть каким-то, и внутреннее "мне все должны, это я тут несчастный самый, я много страдал".
Нехватка смирения? да, наверно.
И у Ребекки все было непросто. И снова - выбор. Ежедневный, и пока ты жив, ничего не закончено, и выбор можно делать новый - снова и снова. Менять курс своего корабля.
И в качестве шпр эту книжку надо читать обязательно. Это ведь про биородителей. Как оно бывает. И почему. И кто-то справился со своими ветрами, а кто-то нет, и все это жизнь. И есть любовь, есть любовь всегда, она не свидетельство, я не знаю, широты души ребенка или там святости его - она просто базовая потребность, любить свою маму и своего папу. Очарованность и тяга. Изначальный магнит. И это невозможно не учитывать, нельзя отвергать. Вот эта двойная любовь-ненависть, что иссушает душу. Не надо ребенку одному ее проходить. Неправильно это. Нет тут единого ответа, мать плохая, мать хорошая, просто нету.
А вернуться, прожить все самому, отличить реальность от марева воспоминаний и грез - нужно, да.
И это больно. И лучше бы было, на кого опереться.
И тогда может быть выйдет - смочь отпустить. Вот эту обреченность и якорь - быть такой, ждать любви оттуда, становиться ею же.
И еще скажу одну непопулярную мысль. Здесь, в книжке, она тоже мелькает.
"Возможно, обе они неспроста позволили детям покинуть дом? Хотели уберечь от судьбы?"
Возможно, это и есть главный дар. Дар жизни - и дар другой жизни, прыжка в сторону. Перемены участи.
Будто кинуть в шлюпку с тонущего корабля. Авось подберут. Безответственность, желание не думать? или, наоборот, подсознательное думание как раз, и максимальная забота.
Кто знает. Кто может судить. Я стараюсь не делать это.
Ну и это теперь одна из моих любимых книжек, да. В ней много боли, но и много силы, и просто жизни, течения ее, и ее простоты. Осколки, зарисовки дней, сплетающиеся в общий узор.
И много тепла.
February 23, 2017
To me, this was one of the saddest books I've ever read! The total shame of it is more prominent in families all over the world. Alcohol destroys! If people would read this book and see how the family is affected, hopefully eyes will be opened. Because of some language, I didn't give this 5 stars.
May 4, 2014
I think I read someone else's review about the deceptive covers of her trilogy, because it leads the reader to believe the novels are typical fluffy chick lit and the opposite is true. The first, Tender Graces feeds on your heart the entire time and you can't help but ache for every character. No one is spared the crushing weight of love caused by every single person in their life. Everyone is dizzy with the confusion of being alive and understanding their place and each-others within their rambling family. Full of unusual characters, some wise and lovable others soiled and disturbed, Tender Graces explores the different ways those we love alter the course of our lives and shape our destiny.
Beyond the beautiful backdrop (West Virginia and then Louisiana), it is narrated by Virginia Kate Carey from her barefoot wandering as a child to her return home as an adult, afraid yet desperate to unravel her wild mama's mystery. Magendie's writing is beautiful and never loses its seductive pull on the reader. The brutal subject matter (alcoholism, abandonment, abuse) doesn't detract from the gorgeous flow of the writing. This author is a brilliant story-teller.
Escape leads many of the women in the family not to salvation, but to their own destruction. We all do the best we can with what we've got inside of us and often, it just isn't enough. No one can ever say her characters aren't real and I prefer a writer who exposes her players to the bone. Even after finishing the novel, I keep thinking 'Wild things shouldn't be tamed' and they certainly can't be claimed. Diving into the second book, Secret Graces... Where was I when her books came out?
Beyond the beautiful backdrop (West Virginia and then Louisiana), it is narrated by Virginia Kate Carey from her barefoot wandering as a child to her return home as an adult, afraid yet desperate to unravel her wild mama's mystery. Magendie's writing is beautiful and never loses its seductive pull on the reader. The brutal subject matter (alcoholism, abandonment, abuse) doesn't detract from the gorgeous flow of the writing. This author is a brilliant story-teller.
Escape leads many of the women in the family not to salvation, but to their own destruction. We all do the best we can with what we've got inside of us and often, it just isn't enough. No one can ever say her characters aren't real and I prefer a writer who exposes her players to the bone. Even after finishing the novel, I keep thinking 'Wild things shouldn't be tamed' and they certainly can't be claimed. Diving into the second book, Secret Graces... Where was I when her books came out?
September 19, 2010
Two weeks before her mother’s death, Virginia Kate Carey received a letter from that troubled woman. A previous attempt at reconciliation on Virginia’s part had elicited not much more than meanness and disregard. On her previous visit, Virginia sought insight into the inexplicable actions of her mother toward her and her brothers while they were growing up. Her mother, Katie, offered not a scrap of help, much less any sign of the love that Virginia desperately needs, but won’t ask for openly. Not without her own stubbornness, Virginia resisted returning to her mother’s deathbed, but now as Tender Graces opens, Virginia goes back to her Appalachian home, the Hollow, seeking in memories and ghosts the meaning of the events in her life. In this finely wrought exploration of character and family relationships, Kathryn Magendie weaves a riveting story, filled with rich dialogue, regional expressions (many of which were unfamiliar to this New Jersey-born reader, but I was charmed all the same), and pop culture references of the 60s and 70s that will make you smile. There are some terrific scenes, one that involves girls, boys and snakes is as good a piece of writing as you’ll find in contemporary literature. The book is funny, poignant and rich with insight into the human heart.
December 29, 2013
В забытый Богом уголок, Западную Вирджинию, возвращается женщина, которая поклялась никогда не возвращаться в эти места, где ей выпало прожить как счастливые, так и не очень моменты детства. Вирджиния Кейт возвращается домой, чтобы попрощаться, простить и отпустить целый сонм призраков прошлого, одни из которых ангелами хранителями парят над горами ее родного края, а другие - тянут в темные глубины, в которые опускаться страшно, но ... приходится. Над горой играет свет, деревья шепчут и воспоминания, как дождь из пепла оседают на маленький домик, в котором потерянно бродит маленькая девочка, давно выросшая из него.
Книга-путешествие в детство, книга о непростом взрослении и борьбе против трудностей, которые внешний мир постоянно подкидывает нам, независимо как благополучно или наоборот было начало нашего пути на этой земле. Луна серебрит отроги гор, заветные шкатулки открываются и память уводит нас вдаль, истории нескольких женщин ложатся лоскутным одеялом нам на плечи и затейливые петли и узоры на нем складываются в историю, в историю, где есть все, как в любой человеческой жизни - и боль, и радость, и все, что между...
July 6, 2010
I really enjoyed this book. It made me think of "The Glass Castle" by Jeannette Walls.
This is the story of a little girl named Virginia Kate. At the beginning of the story, she is an adult and returning to her childhood home of West Virginia. However, most of the story is set in Virginia Kate's growing up years. Throughout the story you learn about how she grew up with her mother and father and two brothers in their dysfunctional family. Her parents were alcoholics, among other things.
The book was well written and Virginia Kate's story drew you into her world. There were a few times where I wanted to laugh and cry with her as well as be angry with her parents for different reasons. Excellent coming of age kind of story.
The only reason I gave this book 4 stars was that the formatting was off periodically throughout the book leaving spaces b etween word s in the s tory which becam e annoying. I'm assuming this was just a Kindle conversion problem and not in the print version.
This is the story of a little girl named Virginia Kate. At the beginning of the story, she is an adult and returning to her childhood home of West Virginia. However, most of the story is set in Virginia Kate's growing up years. Throughout the story you learn about how she grew up with her mother and father and two brothers in their dysfunctional family. Her parents were alcoholics, among other things.
The book was well written and Virginia Kate's story drew you into her world. There were a few times where I wanted to laugh and cry with her as well as be angry with her parents for different reasons. Excellent coming of age kind of story.
The only reason I gave this book 4 stars was that the formatting was off periodically throughout the book leaving spaces b etween word s in the s tory which becam e annoying. I'm assuming this was just a Kindle conversion problem and not in the print version.
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