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We Could Have Been Friends, My Father and I: A Palestinian Memoir
Aziz Shehadeh was many things: lawyer, activist, and political detainee, he was also the father of bestselling author and activist Raja. In this new and searingly personal memoir, Raja Shehadeh unpicks the snags and complexities of their relationship.
A vocal and fearless opponent, Aziz resists under the British mandatory period, then under Jordan, and, finally, under Israel. As a young man, Raja fails to recognise his father's courage and, in turn, his father does not appreciate Raja's own efforts in campaigning for Palestinian human rights. When Aziz is murdered in 1985, it changes Raja irrevocably.
This is not only the story of the battle against the various oppressors of the Palestinians, but a moving portrait of a particular father and son relationship.
A vocal and fearless opponent, Aziz resists under the British mandatory period, then under Jordan, and, finally, under Israel. As a young man, Raja fails to recognise his father's courage and, in turn, his father does not appreciate Raja's own efforts in campaigning for Palestinian human rights. When Aziz is murdered in 1985, it changes Raja irrevocably.
This is not only the story of the battle against the various oppressors of the Palestinians, but a moving portrait of a particular father and son relationship.
156 pages, Kindle Edition
First published March 28, 2023
270 people are currently reading
10673 people want to read
About the author
Raja Shehadeh
46 books342 followersRaja Shehadeh (Arabic: رجا شحادة) is a Palestinian lawyer, human rights activist and writer. He is the author of Strangers in the House (2002), described by The Economist as “distinctive and truly impressive”, When the Bulbul Stopped Singing (2003), Palestinian Walks (2007), for which he won the 2008 Orwell Prize, and A Rift in Time (2010). Shehadeh trained as a barrister in London and is a founder of the human rights organization Al-Haq. He blogs regularly for the International Herald Tribune/The New York Times and lives in Ramallah, on the West Bank.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 481 reviews
February 20, 2024
I appreciated this author for detailing his father’s life and legal career in parallel with the Israeli occupation of Palestine. Given the wild silencing of and retribution faced by pro-Palestine voices in this moment, I think the detail Raja Shehadeh includes is courageous. There are interesting themes related to having a parent who engages in activism and how that can affect the parent/child relationship.
I unfortunately found the writing very dry in several parts of the memoir. Important content but the delivery wasn’t my favorite.
I unfortunately found the writing very dry in several parts of the memoir. Important content but the delivery wasn’t my favorite.
August 21, 2022
People are either going to love this book or they will hate it. Some people will even refuse to read it because they do not want their world-view to be challenged. Raja Shehadeh is a Palestinian and both he and his late father, Aziz, have been involved in the struggle for Palestinian rights for decades. Both of them are lawyers, although Raja Shehadeh has developed a career as a writer and it is through his writings that he has developed an international reputation.
This book is about the Israeli-Palestinian struggle as seen through the difficult relationship that he had with his father. These difficulties were never resolved because his father was assassinated. Raja Shehadeh believes that this was with the connivance, if not the active participation, of Mossad, the Israeli intelligence police.
Raja Shehadeh has written a story that takes us from the end of the Second World War to the present day, and he presents his relationship with his father against the background of Palestinian history. This is why some people will hate the book. They will not want to hear Middle Eastern history presented from that perspective, and that is their problem. There is no possible resolution to this conflict without taking into account the needs of the Palestinian people. Raja Shehadeh makes this quite clear.
Raja Shehadeh tells the story of the displacement of the Palestinian people in uncompromising terms. In 1947, the newly-formed United Nations formed a plan for a two-state solution. This was to be put into place by Count Bernadotte, a relative of the Swedish Royal Family, and a team working under him. Count Bernadotte was assassinated by the Stern Gang, an ultra-right-wing Zionist terrorist group. I know that will cause offence, but I cannot think of any other more neutral way of describing them. There was a majority on both sides of the argument that rejected the two-state solution in 1947, and it was doomed to failure. King Abdullah of Transjordan intervened to secure as much of what is now called the West Bank for his newly-founded Kingdom as possible. In the chaos of what Palestinians now call the Naqba, the Shehadeh family fled from Jaffa to Ramallah, and it is after that flight that Raja Shehadeh was born.
Barclays Bank and others, on instructions from the Israeli Government, closed all Palestinian bank accounts and refused the right of Palestinians to access their own money. Aziz Shehadeh decided to take Barclays to court, and won the release of these funds on a legal technicality that I do not understand, but was based on the refusal of the newly-renamed Kingdom of Jordan to recognise the State of Israel. This was the case on which the legal reputation on Aziz Shehadeh was based, and it won him the wrath of both Israel and the Jordanian King. King Abdullah was then assassinated and Aziz Shehadeh defended the accused and won that case as well. He was now a marked man.
Aziz then made the situation worse. He argued the case for a two-state solution long before the Oslo Accords, which cost an Israeli Prime Minister is life. Neither Israel not the PLO were in favour of such a solution. Raja Shehadeh, a newly qualified lawyer, meanwhile was taking up human rights cases. He and his father had different political views about the best actions to be taken to enhance the Palestinian cause, and this led to their estrangement. Raja now admits that he did not understand what his father was trying to do. They could not discuss issues with each other. It is a failure that now leaves the son a saddened man.
This is because his father wa murdered. Raja Shehadeh refers to it as an assassination and gives a clear explanation of his reasoning.
This is not an easy book to read, but it is essential for anyone who wishes to support the peace process. It sets out what needs to be done.
Raja Shehadeh said at the Edinburg International Book Festival that the first precondition for peace is ending the occupation. I am not sure that is correct. The first precondition is that both sides must want peace, and I see no evidence that is the case. The Israeli Government has to recognise that it can win every war but the last one. It therefore needs peace. The Palestinians have to recognise that Israel is a fact of life, and that to secure peace they have to negotiate with Israel.
Unfortunately, I can see no evidence that either side recognises any of this. They will need to be pressured and persuaded to the negotiating table. That is the role of the international community, and it is possible that this book will be an important tool in that process.
This book is about the Israeli-Palestinian struggle as seen through the difficult relationship that he had with his father. These difficulties were never resolved because his father was assassinated. Raja Shehadeh believes that this was with the connivance, if not the active participation, of Mossad, the Israeli intelligence police.
Raja Shehadeh has written a story that takes us from the end of the Second World War to the present day, and he presents his relationship with his father against the background of Palestinian history. This is why some people will hate the book. They will not want to hear Middle Eastern history presented from that perspective, and that is their problem. There is no possible resolution to this conflict without taking into account the needs of the Palestinian people. Raja Shehadeh makes this quite clear.
Raja Shehadeh tells the story of the displacement of the Palestinian people in uncompromising terms. In 1947, the newly-formed United Nations formed a plan for a two-state solution. This was to be put into place by Count Bernadotte, a relative of the Swedish Royal Family, and a team working under him. Count Bernadotte was assassinated by the Stern Gang, an ultra-right-wing Zionist terrorist group. I know that will cause offence, but I cannot think of any other more neutral way of describing them. There was a majority on both sides of the argument that rejected the two-state solution in 1947, and it was doomed to failure. King Abdullah of Transjordan intervened to secure as much of what is now called the West Bank for his newly-founded Kingdom as possible. In the chaos of what Palestinians now call the Naqba, the Shehadeh family fled from Jaffa to Ramallah, and it is after that flight that Raja Shehadeh was born.
Barclays Bank and others, on instructions from the Israeli Government, closed all Palestinian bank accounts and refused the right of Palestinians to access their own money. Aziz Shehadeh decided to take Barclays to court, and won the release of these funds on a legal technicality that I do not understand, but was based on the refusal of the newly-renamed Kingdom of Jordan to recognise the State of Israel. This was the case on which the legal reputation on Aziz Shehadeh was based, and it won him the wrath of both Israel and the Jordanian King. King Abdullah was then assassinated and Aziz Shehadeh defended the accused and won that case as well. He was now a marked man.
Aziz then made the situation worse. He argued the case for a two-state solution long before the Oslo Accords, which cost an Israeli Prime Minister is life. Neither Israel not the PLO were in favour of such a solution. Raja Shehadeh, a newly qualified lawyer, meanwhile was taking up human rights cases. He and his father had different political views about the best actions to be taken to enhance the Palestinian cause, and this led to their estrangement. Raja now admits that he did not understand what his father was trying to do. They could not discuss issues with each other. It is a failure that now leaves the son a saddened man.
This is because his father wa murdered. Raja Shehadeh refers to it as an assassination and gives a clear explanation of his reasoning.
This is not an easy book to read, but it is essential for anyone who wishes to support the peace process. It sets out what needs to be done.
Raja Shehadeh said at the Edinburg International Book Festival that the first precondition for peace is ending the occupation. I am not sure that is correct. The first precondition is that both sides must want peace, and I see no evidence that is the case. The Israeli Government has to recognise that it can win every war but the last one. It therefore needs peace. The Palestinians have to recognise that Israel is a fact of life, and that to secure peace they have to negotiate with Israel.
Unfortunately, I can see no evidence that either side recognises any of this. They will need to be pressured and persuaded to the negotiating table. That is the role of the international community, and it is possible that this book will be an important tool in that process.
June 22, 2023
short, sweet, and very, very informative.
in the form of a memoir, shehadeh recounts his father’s life and legal career in tandem with the israeli occupation of palestine. the first half is very slice-of-life, the second much more political. aside from the annexation of land and resources, he discusses the (much less talked about) role of england, jordan, and a complacent UN in the denial and prevention of palestinian statehood.
many of the events shehadeh writes about are not common knowledge about the occupation, hence my 5 ⭐️ !!
lastly, of course, there is the devastating undercurrent of a man getting to know his father just a little too late.
in the form of a memoir, shehadeh recounts his father’s life and legal career in tandem with the israeli occupation of palestine. the first half is very slice-of-life, the second much more political. aside from the annexation of land and resources, he discusses the (much less talked about) role of england, jordan, and a complacent UN in the denial and prevention of palestinian statehood.
many of the events shehadeh writes about are not common knowledge about the occupation, hence my 5 ⭐️ !!
lastly, of course, there is the devastating undercurrent of a man getting to know his father just a little too late.
April 6, 2023
Audiobook….read by Peter Ganim.
……5 hours and 9 minutes
Within minutes of listening to this memoir - I was struck by how personal this memoir is to the author.
The background, for the story centers around the conflicts between Palestine and Israel, but the heart of the story centers around Raja’s relationship with his father.
Both were lawyers - they disagreed profusely….seriously about how to secure Palestinian statehood.
They had the same goals — but their journeys were vastly different.
My punch in the gut was a reminder of how fast life can change on a dime.
There’s a lot of wisdom to the words “don’t go to sleep angry at your loved loved ones”.
…..you just never know what the next day brings.
Aziz’s sudden death was a heavy grief for Raja….
“I rushed home like a madman”….
His father was assassinated in Ramallah.
I felt Raja’s grief, regret, guilt, and pain as though it were my own.
I literally wanted to cry — so much so — I almost didn’t care about other further details — the arguments and political conflicted divides.
I just wanted Raja to have had another day with his father.
I thought this was a BEAUTIFUL TOUCHING memoir!!!!
I seriously wanted to hug both countries and both men…. father and son!!!
……5 hours and 9 minutes
Within minutes of listening to this memoir - I was struck by how personal this memoir is to the author.
The background, for the story centers around the conflicts between Palestine and Israel, but the heart of the story centers around Raja’s relationship with his father.
Both were lawyers - they disagreed profusely….seriously about how to secure Palestinian statehood.
They had the same goals — but their journeys were vastly different.
My punch in the gut was a reminder of how fast life can change on a dime.
There’s a lot of wisdom to the words “don’t go to sleep angry at your loved loved ones”.
…..you just never know what the next day brings.
Aziz’s sudden death was a heavy grief for Raja….
“I rushed home like a madman”….
His father was assassinated in Ramallah.
I felt Raja’s grief, regret, guilt, and pain as though it were my own.
I literally wanted to cry — so much so — I almost didn’t care about other further details — the arguments and political conflicted divides.
I just wanted Raja to have had another day with his father.
I thought this was a BEAUTIFUL TOUCHING memoir!!!!
I seriously wanted to hug both countries and both men…. father and son!!!
December 8, 2023
I am normally very skeptical of one sided truths since you know there is always the other side. However, this is one of those books that hits you hard given the current circumstances of massacre in Gaza. Written in the construct of a son coming to terms with his father's loss and trying to understand his father's ideology and politics - the book connects with most readers trying to make sense of their parents in their middle ages.
The familial dynamic between the father and the son is made sense of with a lot of sensitivity. Even when he realizes he has taken the side of his mom - a woman who is exasperated by her husband's idealism - he does not assign blame. Midway through the book I felt the parallel stopped adding additional value to the relationship but more so to the history. There is regret but there is no hatred.
The book was humbling in it's coverage of Palestinian history. I did not know the role of Jordon nor was I aware of the deception of the English army. The history capsule brings out the magnitude of the injustice that gives today's situation an all new gravitas. His father and the narrator are cut out of the same cloth believing change is possible through legal measures and continue at it despite the abject hopelessness.
A lot to admire in this book and definitely a book I would highly recommend.
The familial dynamic between the father and the son is made sense of with a lot of sensitivity. Even when he realizes he has taken the side of his mom - a woman who is exasperated by her husband's idealism - he does not assign blame. Midway through the book I felt the parallel stopped adding additional value to the relationship but more so to the history. There is regret but there is no hatred.
The book was humbling in it's coverage of Palestinian history. I did not know the role of Jordon nor was I aware of the deception of the English army. The history capsule brings out the magnitude of the injustice that gives today's situation an all new gravitas. His father and the narrator are cut out of the same cloth believing change is possible through legal measures and continue at it despite the abject hopelessness.
A lot to admire in this book and definitely a book I would highly recommend.
October 21, 2023
Creative. Smart. Thoughtful. I really appreciated how the history explored in this books was given an extremely personal lens. At times the book feels very dry. Overall very good.
Read
January 26, 2024No rating because I don't rate memoirs but wow. If you're looking for a memoir that is both very personal and informative but somehow also very relatable even if you share little to no circumstances with the writer this one has you covered.
Highly recommend.
Highly recommend.
March 20, 2024
i learnt a lot and cried a lot over this man who lost his father but also lost the ability to call his country home
April 12, 2024
I loved the mix of emotional and factual writing in this book - very informative and compelling. I appreciated the historical context the most as I learned a lot from this memoir.
November 19, 2023
I was introduced to Raja's writings by his nephew who was my roommate in Jordan when I lived there 2013-2017. At that time a lot of this background wouldn't have been discovered and I had no idea of some of the Jordanian involvement not to mention how instrumental Aziz Shehadeh was in fighting Israel legally initially and proposing ideas for peace which would eventually get him assassinated. Like so many other stories and histories of the Palestinian people there are betrayals, lies, broken promises, outright theft and denial, displacement and murder. My roommate and his family are still based out of Amman and have been more fortunate than most. However there is an entire side of the family they've never been able to see as neither side is allowed to travel from or to the West Bank or East Jerusalem - the cities of Amman and Jersualem would only be 2 hours apart by car if there were no borders.
Shehadeh as a writer is master story-teller. Through analysis of his father's writings, discovered only recently, he is able to piece together the mental conflicts Aziz would have been facing around 1948 and after as he faced the loss of his country. Raja can speak through the personality traits he recognized in his father and sees in himself. I've been going through a similar process of analyzing my own actions and responses in the light of my own relationship to my father. Our beliefs though are diametrically opposed whereas Shehadeh finds he had more common ground with his father than he ever believed possible. Futher his father Aziz Shehadeh had groundbreaking ideas which would be a part of the foundational dialogue for peace for the Palestinian position through much of the 1970s. Aziz also won monetary damages for many Palestinian familes in one of the rare legal victories against the Zionist state.
More than anything this humanizes a sector of society - those attempting to fight Israel through legal means around the time of statehood - and gives voice to another sort of lost story and focus of activism in the Palestinian cause. In the light of the insanity going on now we can only hope that more will discover these sorts of stories thanks to the renewed sympathy Israel's brutality is bringing to the Palestinians. More of their truth needs to be heard vs the constant Zionist propaganda.
Shehadeh as a writer is master story-teller. Through analysis of his father's writings, discovered only recently, he is able to piece together the mental conflicts Aziz would have been facing around 1948 and after as he faced the loss of his country. Raja can speak through the personality traits he recognized in his father and sees in himself. I've been going through a similar process of analyzing my own actions and responses in the light of my own relationship to my father. Our beliefs though are diametrically opposed whereas Shehadeh finds he had more common ground with his father than he ever believed possible. Futher his father Aziz Shehadeh had groundbreaking ideas which would be a part of the foundational dialogue for peace for the Palestinian position through much of the 1970s. Aziz also won monetary damages for many Palestinian familes in one of the rare legal victories against the Zionist state.
More than anything this humanizes a sector of society - those attempting to fight Israel through legal means around the time of statehood - and gives voice to another sort of lost story and focus of activism in the Palestinian cause. In the light of the insanity going on now we can only hope that more will discover these sorts of stories thanks to the renewed sympathy Israel's brutality is bringing to the Palestinians. More of their truth needs to be heard vs the constant Zionist propaganda.
November 14, 2024
I would recommend this memoir to anyone that wants to understand the Israeli occupation of Palestine better. It’s brief but informative, and is told through the lens of a son learning to better understand his father. It’s especially heartbreaking right now with the genocide in Palestine to see all the ways in which the world has been intentionally failing the Palestinian people for decades.
January 31, 2025
This is everything I want from a memoir. This is the kind of memoir that makes me feel nostalgic; as if I've met everyone, have been to every place and was there to witness the political and social events that have changed the lives of Palestinians. I was transported while reading We Could Have Been Friends, My Father And I. It's magical to experience this and indeed, rare for a memoir to make me feel this way.
January 14, 2024
There are many many interesting things in this book, but it's a dense read and heavy with lawyerly explanations of myriad Palestinian legal and political battles, and excerpts from op-eds, from the 1930s through the present day. The chapters are arranged (loosely) thematically rather than chronologically, which means that the book constantly skips forward and backward in time over decades and their myriad controlling factions, ideologies, and important moments in the life of the Shehadeh family.
For me, there were a few things that really stood out and I wish were less buried in the legal logistics. 1-The history and politics in the region are so multilayered and complex that even a preeminent writer and scholar like Raja Shehadeh is uncovering things about the Palestinian story that he never knew or understood. 2-Our families are not our friends. Raja and Aziz may have had very similar passions and careers, but their personal history kept them apart. Raja's conclusion is that it was his own hubris at refusing to get to know his father because his dad was so absent, making him a pretty terrible father and husband, if a great champion for Palestine. But I think Raja is wrong to blame himself; families are more complicated than that. 3-The young will always assume that those older than them (particularly if they're related) don't know anything. It's interesting to see the ways the Raja felt his father didn't care and wasn't invested in the human rights movement when the reality is that Aziz had been in that world his entire life; they were both on the same path, just at different points on it.
This is all to say that it was an incredibly worthwhile memoir, but a real slog to read.
For me, there were a few things that really stood out and I wish were less buried in the legal logistics. 1-The history and politics in the region are so multilayered and complex that even a preeminent writer and scholar like Raja Shehadeh is uncovering things about the Palestinian story that he never knew or understood. 2-Our families are not our friends. Raja and Aziz may have had very similar passions and careers, but their personal history kept them apart. Raja's conclusion is that it was his own hubris at refusing to get to know his father because his dad was so absent, making him a pretty terrible father and husband, if a great champion for Palestine. But I think Raja is wrong to blame himself; families are more complicated than that. 3-The young will always assume that those older than them (particularly if they're related) don't know anything. It's interesting to see the ways the Raja felt his father didn't care and wasn't invested in the human rights movement when the reality is that Aziz had been in that world his entire life; they were both on the same path, just at different points on it.
This is all to say that it was an incredibly worthwhile memoir, but a real slog to read.
January 23, 2024
Rating - 5 stars
NPS - 10 (Promoter)
Towards the end of his long life, Fuad lost hope entirely in the future of Palestine. One woman never forgot what he once told her: “You and your children might be able to get buried in Palestine but for sure your grandchildren will not have a place in Palestine even to be buried. No Palestinian will be left here. All the land will have been taken away.
This book hits hard. While I have been trying to wrap my head around this complex conflict and Hamas, I wanted to understand the reason of the conflict and the situation.
The occupation of Palestine by Israel is hard and unforgiving, but what I didn’t know is that Jordan was also a occupier of Palestine, both of them trying to play good cop, bad cop for political gains.
A must read if you want to understand today’s conflict. Comes as a first hand account of the irreparable situation and why it has reached to violence today.
Highly recommended.
NPS - 10 (Promoter)
Towards the end of his long life, Fuad lost hope entirely in the future of Palestine. One woman never forgot what he once told her: “You and your children might be able to get buried in Palestine but for sure your grandchildren will not have a place in Palestine even to be buried. No Palestinian will be left here. All the land will have been taken away.
This book hits hard. While I have been trying to wrap my head around this complex conflict and Hamas, I wanted to understand the reason of the conflict and the situation.
The occupation of Palestine by Israel is hard and unforgiving, but what I didn’t know is that Jordan was also a occupier of Palestine, both of them trying to play good cop, bad cop for political gains.
A must read if you want to understand today’s conflict. Comes as a first hand account of the irreparable situation and why it has reached to violence today.
Highly recommended.
June 24, 2024
Somehow Shehadeh managed to write a personal, poignant, and highly informational memoir in under 200 pages. I’ve been reflecting lately on the importance of literature (specifically memoirs, poetry, autobiographies) from voices that are misrepresented or not often heard in our world. If everyone read this book and a few others from Palestinian authors and thought leaders, the crisis of humanity surrounding the Israeli/Palestinian conflict would be impossible to ignore. Free Palestine.
November 18, 2023
A timely and informative memoir that was a finalist for the 2023 National Book Award, this book recounts 75 years of activities by the author and his father as they worked to influence the Palestine peace process. I found the personal story to be quite poignant, and the “big picture” story provides useful background for anyone seeking insights into the current situation.
April 13, 2025
as a hater of memoirs, this read less as a memoir than a history of palestinian resistance post-1948 with a personal touch. it was really interesting to see all of the ways palestinians immediately fought for their homes and their country post-48, and really interesting to learn about the ways they were stymied at every turn by israel, england, and other arab nations. this was a really valuable read as to how palestinians have known and warned about the ongoing israeli occupation and haven’t been listened to, and have been excluded from peace processes.
Read
April 6, 2025usually love a memoir but the writing was so dry, also i don’t really mess with a two state solution
July 20, 2025
Maybe all we need sometimes, is to listen.
Read
December 6, 2023I knew little about the Palestinian case, all from what I learned in middle school. Saudi education system did establish the roots of the case, but it focused more on what our kings provided and how they helped. so, the political part of this memoir —and it was the biggest part— was all so fresh to me, appallingly so.
law is absurd and bendable, justice is nonexistent, yes evil is well around the world, and has its noticeable touches everywhere, and yes the justice system is corrupt and that’s no news, but how could the world turn a blind eye to this vile, cruel and so very clear crimes! what a world we live in!
I, also, am not very familiar with the world of fathers and sons, and haven’t seen this dynamic featured in any medium yet, so the idea of a memoir written by a man discussing his relationship with his father was very intriguing, but sadly, the sentimental bits of the memoir were few and far between. When they were presented I wanted to stay there more, I longed for some balance, and wanted to read more of what I came here for, a memoir about the relationship between father and son.
although, I have to say, the biographical part about Shehadah’s father was sometimes exposing private matters that I, personally, thought shouldn’t be shared without the father’s consent.
definitely a memorable experience, for all the political details. but not so on the other sides, wished for more balance between all aspects, and more emphasis on the father-son relationship, and a little bit less on the biographical aspect.
January 19, 2025
3.75/5
A memoir by a Palestinian civil rights lawyer about his father's lifelong legal battle against Israeli occupation, as well as an exploration of their relationship and the parallels/differences of their approach to activism. Informative, dense at times, but with a tender introspection that displays Shehadeh’s deep empathy for his father and Palestinians before him who have fought for liberation for the last 3/4 of a century.
A memoir by a Palestinian civil rights lawyer about his father's lifelong legal battle against Israeli occupation, as well as an exploration of their relationship and the parallels/differences of their approach to activism. Informative, dense at times, but with a tender introspection that displays Shehadeh’s deep empathy for his father and Palestinians before him who have fought for liberation for the last 3/4 of a century.
December 28, 2023
☾ 300/ 100
"I can almost hear my father asking, "Are you listening now?" To which I answer, "Yes, now I am."
First and foremost, this is my 300th book of the year, WOW. Absolutely crazy and I'm very happy this is the book that got that honor. We Could Have Been Friends, My Father and I: A Palestinian Memoir was a recommendation I got from @abbeyreads13 on TikTok and this is my favorite nonfiction of the year and a top memoir of all time. If you'd like to learn more about Palestine in a less textbook-like/ academic format, this is the perfect book for you.
We Could Have Been Friends, My Father and I: A Palestinian Memoir is about Raja Shehadeh's relationship with his father, whom he was never close to because of his dad's politics and beliefs. An acclaimed lawyer, Aziz Shehadeh, was murdered by a released criminal and the Israeli police covered it up and blamed it on the "failing" justice system of Palestine. Now, almost as old as his father was he read the papers he left behind and Raja Shehadeh realizes how much his father fought for Palestine, wanted to be close to his son, and how they would have gotten along in the end. This memoir is a reflection on these thoughts, the politics of Palestine during his father's time, and a memoir of his father and his journeys.
Incredibly moving and touching but also does not shy away from his own regrets, Raja Shehadeh is an author I will continue to pick up from.
"I can almost hear my father asking, "Are you listening now?" To which I answer, "Yes, now I am."
First and foremost, this is my 300th book of the year, WOW. Absolutely crazy and I'm very happy this is the book that got that honor. We Could Have Been Friends, My Father and I: A Palestinian Memoir was a recommendation I got from @abbeyreads13 on TikTok and this is my favorite nonfiction of the year and a top memoir of all time. If you'd like to learn more about Palestine in a less textbook-like/ academic format, this is the perfect book for you.
We Could Have Been Friends, My Father and I: A Palestinian Memoir is about Raja Shehadeh's relationship with his father, whom he was never close to because of his dad's politics and beliefs. An acclaimed lawyer, Aziz Shehadeh, was murdered by a released criminal and the Israeli police covered it up and blamed it on the "failing" justice system of Palestine. Now, almost as old as his father was he read the papers he left behind and Raja Shehadeh realizes how much his father fought for Palestine, wanted to be close to his son, and how they would have gotten along in the end. This memoir is a reflection on these thoughts, the politics of Palestine during his father's time, and a memoir of his father and his journeys.
Incredibly moving and touching but also does not shy away from his own regrets, Raja Shehadeh is an author I will continue to pick up from.
January 30, 2024
Wow. More light needs to be brought to not just another story but the life of Aziz Shehadeh (May god rest his soul). In times like this where what was the occupation of Palestine has now become the genocide of Palestine carried out by Isreal, it remains important for us all to educate ourselves and hear the voices of Palestinians.
This book was written beautifully with the perfect balance of fact, person and emotion.
This book was written beautifully with the perfect balance of fact, person and emotion.
December 5, 2023
A very brief memoir that I appreciated greatly for providing addl context around the Palestinian experience and history. I learned a lot about how we got to today, and it’s very sad. I still don’t fully understand how and why this was allowed to happen to Palestinians, but I appreciated the opportunity to hear the author’s firsthand account of the experience and impact on his family and country.
November 25, 2023
Rating memoirs isn’t really something I tend to do. Yet, I am making an exception this time.
For a few years now, I’ve been learning about Palestine. And by learning, I mean not very much apart from the fact that their land, home, food and water were being stolen/controlled by Israel. Which alone is horrible and upsetting. However, with the recent events that started in October of this year, horrible and upsetting isn’t even the vocabulary I use when I think about this ethnic cleansing. Angering and infuriating took over.
This has been decades upon decades. It is a fight that generation upon generations have been fighting. Wanting nothing but peace and their lives back and receiving nothing but more control and death instead.
Shehadeh talks so much about his father’s mission and life. Being one of the attorneys in the fight for Palestine and Palestinians. As he grew older and because an attorney himself, learned of everything his father did, coming to the conclusion that he is much more like his father than he ever thought possible.
This memoir is very to the point, which I appreciate. I read it via audiobook through Libby, but am planning on buying a physical copy to reread parts I may have missed and need to understand more. Highly recommend to everyone.
For a few years now, I’ve been learning about Palestine. And by learning, I mean not very much apart from the fact that their land, home, food and water were being stolen/controlled by Israel. Which alone is horrible and upsetting. However, with the recent events that started in October of this year, horrible and upsetting isn’t even the vocabulary I use when I think about this ethnic cleansing. Angering and infuriating took over.
This has been decades upon decades. It is a fight that generation upon generations have been fighting. Wanting nothing but peace and their lives back and receiving nothing but more control and death instead.
Shehadeh talks so much about his father’s mission and life. Being one of the attorneys in the fight for Palestine and Palestinians. As he grew older and because an attorney himself, learned of everything his father did, coming to the conclusion that he is much more like his father than he ever thought possible.
This memoir is very to the point, which I appreciate. I read it via audiobook through Libby, but am planning on buying a physical copy to reread parts I may have missed and need to understand more. Highly recommend to everyone.
I had my own immature ideas, based on sentimental Hollywood dramas, of how it should be between father and son, and made no effort to understand my father on his own terms. Now that I know how much we have in common, what I regret most of all, is the fact that we could have been friends.
February 29, 2024
This is such an informative and succinct memoir that recounts his father’s plight for Palestinian’s rights and the history behind the ethnic cleansing that began as early as the 1940s. We see how subtle Israel’s plans are at stripping away the Palestinians from their basic needs forcing them under their regime and how devastatingly disappointing the Arab states act in such circumstances, colluding with the British and therefore, Israel. Although Raja’s father fought for the middle way of the two state resolution, he wasn’t given support by the PaIestinians because they wanted to protect the land that is rightfully theirs. Beyond that, this memoir is also about their father-son relationship and how Raja found that he could connect more with his father when he uncovered his father’s work after his death.
I will always look up to the Palestinians for their perseverance despite such unjust acts from all sides. Educate yourself. Don’t turn a blind eye and be ignorant about the genocide happening else you’ll be fooled by the media. Those who oppress others will have to work harder to cover the truth. Our prayers will always be with Palestine.
I will always look up to the Palestinians for their perseverance despite such unjust acts from all sides. Educate yourself. Don’t turn a blind eye and be ignorant about the genocide happening else you’ll be fooled by the media. Those who oppress others will have to work harder to cover the truth. Our prayers will always be with Palestine.
January 28, 2024
very, very important memoir. Provides context not only into the Nakba of 1948, but also the critical ways England, Jordan, and international institutions such as the UN have historically enabled Israel’s crimes and continally suppressed the voices of Palestinians, the latter of which I regrettably knew little about prior to reading. a short memoir packed with important history, underscored by a touching reflection on a son’s relationship with his father, too late.
today and every day, it’s always, always, always Free Palestine 🍉
today and every day, it’s always, always, always Free Palestine 🍉
February 27, 2024
Shehadeh is brilliant. You should read anything he's written. This one is about his and his father's relationship, obviously. Compelling enough on its own, but the historical context in there is especially needed now. There are lots of details of legal cases you may not have known about to get Palestinian money unfrozen, which Israel stole from Palestinian accounts in banks in 1948 (along with everything else). It also tells a bit about why the Arab governments didn't help Palestinians - some wanted to expand their own territory and some wanted to appease the retreating British who still held power on the new countries carved after world wars. All at Palestinians' expense.
January 17, 2024
Shehadeh is a Palestinian lawyer from a family of lawyers, and this memoir covers both his family's struggles during the occupation, and the happenings of historical events through a lawyer's lens. As a result, there's additional context provided about the laws created and broken to "justify" the destruction of his community.
I think most people are aware (in varying degrees) of the horrors of the ongoing occupation, but there's something particularly harrowing about these abuses described in such formal, exacting language. This is a short book (160 pages) that took me over two weeks to finish, as I couldn't stomach reading about such horrible injustices over prolonged periods of time.
Despite the subject matter, the author does a great job conveying the hope his family held as they fought for justice. I felt the unwavering faith of the "cast" within this book - a people using their legal education to fight for a future for their community. Shehadeh's father is painted by the author and various interviewees as a visionary - someone that saw the state of "today" 50 years ago and tried to leverage the legal system to prevent further catastrophe.
His sentiments read like prophecy:
And I reply, "Yet still the fact is that they won. To them it's a war to destroy the Palestinians, deny their existence and rights to the land. And they did it. They won. And that's all that matters to them. As to the cost, it was much, much higher for us than for them. Nothing to compare. They lost thousands of soldiers; we lost many more and still remain stateless."
Then he tells me, "The cost they bore goes far beyond the number of dead in the course of the numerous wars they waged. Loss of life was only part of it. How much better things would have turned out had they used their superior skills and resources to help develop the region rather than continually destroying it."
"That's their choice," I say. "A choice they could make because they won."
And he says, "The only real victory is when we've both won."
I think most people are aware (in varying degrees) of the horrors of the ongoing occupation, but there's something particularly harrowing about these abuses described in such formal, exacting language. This is a short book (160 pages) that took me over two weeks to finish, as I couldn't stomach reading about such horrible injustices over prolonged periods of time.
Despite the subject matter, the author does a great job conveying the hope his family held as they fought for justice. I felt the unwavering faith of the "cast" within this book - a people using their legal education to fight for a future for their community. Shehadeh's father is painted by the author and various interviewees as a visionary - someone that saw the state of "today" 50 years ago and tried to leverage the legal system to prevent further catastrophe.
His sentiments read like prophecy:
And I reply, "Yet still the fact is that they won. To them it's a war to destroy the Palestinians, deny their existence and rights to the land. And they did it. They won. And that's all that matters to them. As to the cost, it was much, much higher for us than for them. Nothing to compare. They lost thousands of soldiers; we lost many more and still remain stateless."
Then he tells me, "The cost they bore goes far beyond the number of dead in the course of the numerous wars they waged. Loss of life was only part of it. How much better things would have turned out had they used their superior skills and resources to help develop the region rather than continually destroying it."
"That's their choice," I say. "A choice they could make because they won."
And he says, "The only real victory is when we've both won."
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