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Chicks in Chainmail #5

Turn the Other Chick

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One good turn deserves another and those unpredictable Amazons are back, swords sharpened, chainmail polished, and makeup in place, ready to fight the good fight. And if you think they're just male wish-fulfillment fantasies, you'd better say it under your breath where they can't hear you, because these barbarian babes were born to battle, on the lighter side.

Contents
Mightier Than the Sword by John G. Hemry
A Late Symmer Night's Battle by Laura Frankos
Psyched Up by Michael D. Turner
Branded by Jan Stirling
The Girl's Guide to Defeating the Dark Lord by Cassandra Claire
She Stuffs to Conquer by Yvonne Coats
The Gypsy Queen by Catherine H. Shaffer
Over the Hill by Jim C. Hines
A Sword Called Rhonda by D.S. Moen
Giants in the Earth by Esther M. Friesner
Rituals for a New God by Wen Spencer
I Look Good by Selina Rosen
Combat Shopping by Lee Martindale
Battle Ready by J. Ardian Lee
A Woman's Armor by Lesley McBain
Hallah Iron-Thighs and the Hall of the Puppet King by K.D. Wentworth
Princess Injera Versus the Spanakopita of Doom by Robin Wayne Bailey
Brunhilde's Bra by Laura J. Underwood
Smoke and Mirrors by Steven Piziks
The Truth About the Gotterdammerung by Eric Flint
Defender of the Small by Jody Lynn Nye
Of Mice and Chicks by Harry Turtledove

391 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2004

8 people are currently reading
657 people want to read

About the author

Esther M. Friesner

264 books710 followers
Esther M. Friesner was educated at Vassar College, where she completed B.A's in both Spanish and Drama. She went to on to Yale University; within five years she was awarded an M.A. and Ph.D. in Spanish. She taught Spanish at Yale for a number of years before going on to become a full-time author of fantasy and science fiction. She has published twenty-seven novels so far; her most recent titles include Temping Fate from Penguin-Puffin and Nobody's Princess from Random House.

Her short fiction and poetry have appeared in Asimov's, Fantasy & Science Fiction, Aboriginal SF, Pulphouse Magazine, Amazing, and Fantasy Book, as well as in numerous anthologies. Her story, "Love's Eldritch Ichor," was featured in the 1990 World Fantasy Convention book.

Her first stint as an anthology editor was Alien Pregnant By Elvis, a collection of truly gonzo original tabloid SF for DAW books. Wisely, she undertook this project with the able collaboration of Martin H. Greenberg. Not having learned their lesson, they have also co-edited the Chicks In Chainmail Amazon comedy anthology series for Baen Books, as well as Blood Muse, an anthology of vampire stories for Donald I Fine, Inc.

"Ask Auntie Esther" was her regular etiquette and advice column to the SFlorn in Pulphouse Magazine. Being paid for telling other people how to run their lives sounds like a pretty good deal to her.

Ms. Friesner won the Nebula Award for Best Short Story of 1995 for her work, "Death and the Librarian," and the Nebula for Best Short Story of 1996 for "A Birth Day." (A Birth Day" was also a 1996 Hugo Award finalist.) Her novelette, "Jesus at the Bat" was on the final Nebula ballot in the same year that "Death and the Librarian" won the award. In addition, she has won the Romantic Times award for Best New Fantasy Writer in 1986 and the Skylark Award in 1994. Her short story, "All Vows," took second place in the Asimov's SF Magazine Readers' Poll for 1993 and was a finalist for the Nebula in 1994. Her Star Trek: Deep Space Nine novel, Warchild, made the USA TODAY bestseller list.

She lives in Connecticut with her husband, two children, two rambunctious cats, and a fluctuating population of hamsters.

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5 stars
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206 (39%)
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158 (30%)
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 32 reviews
Profile Image for Anna.
228 reviews45 followers
October 25, 2008
"This is the fifth book in the Chicks in Chainmail series edited by Esther Friesner. The book is a collection of 22 short stories by fantasy authors (including one by the editor) that almost all involve at least three elements: a chick (er, woman), chainmail (or other body armor), and adventure with the chick wearing said chainmail. Most of the stories are told tongue-in-cheek, with some more entertaining and coherent than others. My favorites are as follows: The Girl's Guide to Defeating the Dark Lord by Cassandra Claire - Being kidnapped by a Dark Lord can have a happy ending. The Gypsy Queen by Catherine H. Shaffer - Transgendered barbarian swordspersons find true love. Over the Hill by Jim C. Hines - Grandma Guardswoman isn't ready to retire just yet. Defender of the Small by Jody Lynn Nye - Be kind to your small fury friends."
Profile Image for Anne Patkau.
3,711 reviews68 followers
January 6, 2014
http://www.baenebooks.com/p-437-turn-...
22 short stories have styles from straight to goofy. Among humor twists, life truths, and duds, you may like more than my four * starred favorites, still the best, happy celebrations of how strong females can change their worlds, if not ours, so on re-reading, I re-rated the whole book up for them.
http://www.baenebooks.com/chapters/07... The Girl's Guide to Defeating the Dark Lord.

First publication by novice Cassandra Claire (aka Clare, City of Bones) is the hilarious journal "Girl's Guide" of a princess who rescues herself (and joins the Dark Lord aka Simon) "maybe it would help if your men had more cheerful uniforms" maybe pink minions p102. X-rating is for uncomfortable bits that get pinched in chain mail armor on naked female skin in Selina Rosen's "I Look Good", Helgar solves cold hard tiny top and loincloth issues that complicate with age "two cannon balls fighting over the same" paunch p241. "You didn't get to be an old minion unless you were also a smart minion" p202.

Lesley McBain's McDiarmid sisters, brawny fighter Deirdre, cunning boyish lock-picker Fiona, and lusciously lovely singer middle Maeve, rescue their brother's beloved Raina before the dolt himself, set to hang by Raina's handsome cousin prince, then proclaim in unison "A Woman's Armor" "is anything she wants it to be" p246. Jodie Nye's "Defender of the Small" is Dawna Keen-Eyed, sell-sword tired from defending the land, hopes for peace "breathing country air full of the smells of new-cut hay, wood smoke, and pig poop" p345 but cats stoned and persecuted in Cabbage Town hire her for protection from vicious villagers showing her "the common courtesy that I thought humans owed to one another" p362.

Alphabetically by author:
* Favorites

Bailey, Robin - Princess Injera Vs the Spanakopita of Doom
Castaway Ethiopian pirate sent for box by dashing Greek Gyro (yee-row) with magic whip.

* Claire aka Clare, Cassandra - The Girl's Guide to Defeating the Dark Lord
Narrator makes best of kidnap

Coats, Yvonne - She Stuffs to Conquer
Slender tavern narrator describes her inherited large set of pink possessed armor.

Flint, Eric - The Truth About the Gotterdammerung
Viking incites Odin and fellow gods to revenge Loki's death on Christian god.

Frankos, Laura - A Late Symmer Night's Battle
Shakespeare riff, fairy and name-drops, otherwise hohum.

Friesner, Esther - Giants in the Earth
Tirzah, concubine to psalmist King David, expert slingshot, wants more.

Hemry, John - Mightier than the Sword
Mini-spirit muse Calliope advises Suzanne, get armor, flourish pen to frighten bandits

Hines, Jim - Over the Hill
Old guardswomen show young Lissa how they rescue grandson Jacob from bandits.

Lee, J. Ardian - Battle Ready
Could be standard student issue? Sergeant Peter tests Texan Private Daryl Deal's new battle bra's defenses.

Martindale, Lee - Combat Shopping
If Horatia the Heroic had to replace armor from contemporary ladies-wear mind-sets.

* McBain, Lesley - A Woman's Armour
is anything she pleases prove village McDiarmid maidens Dierdre, Maeve and Fiona when rescuing brother Ian from noose and castle dungeon.

Moen, DS - A Sword Called Rhonda
Narrator Karma, after the Collapse in California tries to release non-stop whiny like-y'know shopper spirit from her sword

* Nye, Jodie - Defender of the Small
Sadly true. Dawna, heading home from the wars, stops in Cabbage Town, where cats are friendlier than humans.

Piziks, Steven - Smoke and Mirrors
Dagmar warns brother talismonger not to risk his soul in spell, then blackmailed to find gorgon.

* Rosen, Selina - I Look Good
Funny twist. Narrator Helgar, sagging 38, displaced second to evil sorcerer Ikious, finds chain mail bra achingly cold.

Shaffer, Catherine - The Gypsy Queen
Cross-dresser Lorayne-Loris likes Coedric and women, chases sister Esmeralda and double-crosser Guano to G'morra wedding chapel. Predictable end.

Spencer, Wen - Rituals for a New God
Everyday tools battle supernatural. Sculptor Madeline answers Mac Pierson's brandy BBQ steak prayer offering to heal wife, fights monster.

Stirling, Jan - Branded
Magician Feric foils bad prince who wants to coward-brand Captain Iron-Breast Avia and sweety Teri.

Turner, Michael - Psyched Up
Good trick. Narrator net porn boob-job fools ugly protected by spell in single combat.

Turtledove, Harry - Of Mice and Chicks
Brainy Georgia and brawny too-friendly cousin Lani ride war bunnies to raise money for bunny ranch, in service to Baron whose son Curls is handsome beef and jerky too.

Underwood, Laura - Brunhilde's Bra
Valkyrie bra shrinks to fit Gerta.

Wentworth, KD - Hallah Iron-Thighs and the Hall of the Puppet King
Narrator and pal Gerta hired during annual bandit seaside holiday to conduct home brat with betrothed, shape-shifter plump Abbysmina, and incompetent magician Merval.

Typo
p185 devote - devout, devoted
Profile Image for Ron.
4,067 reviews11 followers
July 20, 2015
Just read the newest Chick novel, so I went back to find the one volume in the series I had not read. I enjoyed the tales, but they seemed a bit more pedestrian and less entertaining then other volumes. My favorite stories were Hemry's "Mightier Than the Sword", Turtledove's "Of Mice and Chicks", and Claire's "The Girl's Guide to Defeating the Dark Lord". The others were all right, but this is not a volume I would be rereading often.
Profile Image for Debbie is on Storygraph.
1,674 reviews146 followers
April 14, 2007
The newest of the Chicks in Chainmail anthologies. A mixed bag, but no story that I totally despised, which is the way with all the Chicks anthologies. I was disappointed that Elizabeth Moon and Margaret Ball didn't include stories in the universes they've created specifically for this series. Still a very fun read.
Profile Image for Jack.
308 reviews22 followers
May 21, 2008
Just a lot of fun. Sword and Sorcery with women taking the leading parts. This was Vol 5 - I got to find the other 4 books....
118 reviews2 followers
January 7, 2016
The same irreverent tone as earlier entries in this series, but I found a lot less politically-questionable humour* in this one than in the first volume (which I reread this fall). Interesting item of historical curiosity: This volume contains Cassandra Clare's first published story, back when she was still writing as Claire-with-an-I, a fairy tale deconstruction very similar in tone to her LOTR parodies in the style of Bridget Jones' Diary which people who spent the early 2000s in the same internet circles as me definitely remember.

Favourites: John G. Hemry's "Mightier Than The Sword", D. S. Moen's "A Sword Called Rhonda", and Friesner's own "Giants in the Earth". I also enjoyed "Princess Injera Versus the Spanikopita of Doom" by Robin Wayne Bailey but it loses points for making me hungry on the subway when neither Greek nor Ethiopian food were readily available.

* That said, I'm not sure how I feel about one story about transgender lesbian barbarian warriors. I honestly can't tell if they're supposed to be a mean-spirited joke or not, which probably means they are :/
Profile Image for CatBookMom.
1,002 reviews
January 29, 2014
This wasn't as good as some of the previous collections, and a couple of them were surprisingly flat, given the authors' usual writing skills. It seems as though the last 4-5 books were the least interesting. Notably the best were the stories from Leslie McBain, Jan Sirling, Jody Lynn Nye and of course Esther herself. Love the introduction!!
1,360 reviews17 followers
May 10, 2016
There are several short stories I enjoyed, but I was sorry not to see some of my favorite characters from the first three anthologies. Glad for another story of Hallah Iron Thighs and Gerta. Cassandra Claire's story was my favorite, though "Stuffed to Conquer" was a runner-up. Several good ones in here.
Profile Image for Janet.
734 reviews
June 28, 2009
This is the 5th in a series of short story anthologies that started with 'Chicks in Chainmail'. This one has 22 stories by different authors. They're all over the map for style, and their take on a woman who can swing a sword.
Profile Image for G (galen).
128 reviews112 followers
September 21, 2009
what can I say... I love Friesner and her uncanny ability to nab authors of such diversity that twirl such insightful and hilarious spins on the stereotype of the bimbo with a sword.
Oh, and her intro, with it's ode to Buffy and Zena (not to mention Hermione) brought tears to my eyes.
Profile Image for Karen.
1,038 reviews2 followers
January 15, 2011
Cassandra Clare's first published story is in here. It is very funny, and the only one I've read so far. It was cute, 4 stars to this one only.



Most of the stories in this book have characters with names you can not pronounce, and places that are just a little to weird to be interesting.
Profile Image for Meghan.
49 reviews1 follower
December 13, 2009
Some stories are stronger than others, some quite good.
Profile Image for Althea Ann.
2,255 reviews1,209 followers
March 4, 2013
One of Friesner's anthologies of short stories that are a humorous take-off on the cliches of scantily-clad sword-and-sorceress adventures. Enjoyable, but no real amazing standouts.
Profile Image for Kevin Connery.
674 reviews4 followers
September 3, 2011
Too many were poor attempts at the humor Friesner does so well, and most other writers don’t. Some good stories, but overall a disappointment.
Profile Image for Little Timmy.
7,389 reviews59 followers
January 25, 2016
Collection of short stories about women warriors. Most are of a humorous bend. Recommended
Profile Image for MJ.
2,142 reviews9 followers
March 3, 2014
No socially redeeming stories here, just pure fun fantasy by a variety of well-known authors.
Profile Image for Thomas Ray.
1,506 reviews521 followers
May 12, 2023
Turn the Other Chick, Esther Friesner, editor, 2004, 295 pages. ISBN 0743488571

Anthology of swords-and-sorcery stories with female protagonists and a humorous modern twist. A fun collection. Inventive stories. Sexist? Yes. All were first published in this volume. Fifth in a series of 6 books: https://www.goodreads.com/series/2396...


Mightier than the Sword, John G. Hemry **** Fun!

A Late Symmer Night's Battle, Laura Frankos **** Nice.

Psyched Up, Michael D. Turner ****

Branded, Jan Stirling ***

The Girl's Guide to Defeating the Dark Lord, Cassandra Claire ***

She Stuffs to Conquer, Yvonne Coats ***

The Gypsy Queen, Catherine H. Shaffer ***

Over the Hill, Jim C. Hines ***

A Sword Called Rhonda, D.S. Moen *** San Francisco Peninsula

Giants in the Earth, Esther M. Friesner *** ancient Kingdom of Israel

Rituals for a New God, Wen Spencer **** suburban Pittsburgh

I Look Good, Selina Rosen ***

Combat Shopping, Lee Martindale ***

Battle Ready, J. Ardian Lee ** U.S. Army G.I.

A Woman's Armor, Lesley McBain *** Scotland

Hallah Iron-Thighs and the Hall of the Puppet King, K.D. Wentworth **

Princess Injera versus the Spanakopita of Doom, Robin Wayne Bailey **

Brunhilde's Bra, Laura J. Underwood ***

Smoke and Mirrors, Steven Piziks ***

The Truth about the Gotterdammerung, Eric Flint ***

Defender of the Small, Jody Lynn Nye ****

Of Mice and Chicks, Harry Turtledove ***



Profile Image for Rindis.
524 reviews76 followers
January 9, 2024
Sadly, the first impression of this book has to be that it lost Larry Elmore as a cover artist, and this one just doesn't measure up to the previous covers in the series.


But, the important part, the stories, are as good.


The anthology leads with John Hemry's "Mightier Than the Sword", which is a farce mashup between swords-and-sorcery, and writers wanting to strangle their muse. It makes a good start to the volume, but not as strong as it could be. The final one is Harry Turtledove's "Of Mice and Chicks", which tries too hard with narrative interruptions and allusions to Of Mice and Men.


So, thankfully, the rest holds up better than the tentpoles.


The top story is definitely Cassandra Claire's "The Girl's Guide to Defeating the Dark Lord". It's pretty easy to see just what kind of story this is going to be, but the writing and journey are well done. Past that, its harder to point out particular ones, as they just about all have positive points, which makes it harder to concentrate on a few. I'd go with Jody Lynn Nye's "Protector of the Small" and Steven Piziks' "Smoke and Mirrors". After that, I think I wind up with a three-way tie for fourth best.
Profile Image for Nicole Luiken.
Author 20 books170 followers
June 5, 2021
The usual mixed bag of short stories, most average, some standouts.

My faves: Rituals of a New God by Wen Spencer (of course) and Girl's Guide to Defeating a Dark Lord by Cassandra Claire (who I assume is the same as Cassandra Clare, YA author, the bio lists this as her first sale.)
Profile Image for La Tricia Ransom.
83 reviews3 followers
February 23, 2018
usually an anthology has several weak stories that seemingly are just there to fill pages. i enjoyed all of these stories.
Profile Image for Hazi.
513 reviews11 followers
April 16, 2018
A fun group of stories with bold and engaging female leads.
14 reviews
July 29, 2022
A fun, easy read with a good sense of humor. Entertaining stories of (generally fantasy, generally medieval) adventure, with some neat creative ideas, that all feature heroines. Some of the earlier books in the series occasionally have jokes and other things that didn't age well into the 2020's, but this one is still (for me) as much as a delight as when I first picked it up in 2004.
Profile Image for Margit.
133 reviews17 followers
September 27, 2016
If you've read any of the other "Chicks" books, you'll know the kind of humorous stories included in this volume. There isn't any story that really stands out as exceptional, but there was one that I did enjoy more than any of the others. It was Jody Lynn Nye's Defender of the Small. It's a story of a mercenary hired by some cats to protect them from some abusive townsfolk who do not appreciate the worth of a cat.

Can I recommend this book? Not really unless you are already familiar with the other "Chicks" books. If you're not, start with Chicks in Chainmail. That one is the best for getting your feet wet.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 32 reviews

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