Andrew Sean Greer. The Story of a Marriage. New York: Picador, 2008.
I was attracted to this paperback book because of its cover. I read a couple of pages and the read was decent so I bought it. The entire book was a gentle surprise. I will try another book of his.
(41) “It is the hardest kind of knowledge, not just about another but about ourselves. To see our lives as a fiction we have written and believed. Silence and lies. The sensation I felt that evening – that I did not know my Holland [husband:], did not know myself, that it was perhaps impossible to know a single soul on earth – it was a fearful loneliness.”
(59) “The moment, like the smallest gear of a hidden machine, that set our lives in motion.”
(87) “How do you make someone love you? For the very young, there can be nothing harder in the world. You may try as hard as you like: place yourself beside them, cook their favorite food, bring them wine or sing the love songs that you know will move them. They will not move them. Nothing will move them. You will waste days interpreting the simple banalities of a phone call; months staring at their soft lips as they talk; you will waste years watching a body sitting in a chair and willing every muscle to take you across the room and do a simple thing, say a simple word, make them love, and you will not do it; you will waste long nights wondering how they cannot feel this – the urge to embrace, the snowmelt in the heart when you are near them – how they can sit in that chair, or speak with those lips, or make a call and mean nothing by it, hide nothing in their hearts. Or perhaps what they hide is not what you want to see. Because surely they love someone. It simply isn’t you.”
(137) “… for we had each done a startling thing, dodged time for an instant – which is the only definition of happiness I know.”
(154) “I have said that pain reveals things, and that is sometimes what it takes to break our solitude. To open, briefly, that small window, that view out of ourselves: the life of someone else.”
(171) “It’s the loss we don’t speak of, losing a friend forever. We call it life; we call it time passing. But it is a kind of heartbreak, like any other.”
When her kids were little, Carol wondered what her kids would pick from their childhood to remember. I too wondered about that when I had children. Certainly some of the memories would match. But I have found that most of the happenings I orchestrated and hoped they would remember, weren’t. They recall random happenings, things I can’t find in my memories. (172)
(175-176)
As Pearlie Cook thinks about her husband leaving her and their son, Walter (Sonny) for a man (Buzz), she contemplates the magnitude of it.
“I would never meet another man who’d met my mother, who knew her untamable hair, her sharp Kentucky accent, creaked with fury. She was dead now, and no man could ever know her again. That would be missing. I’d never know anyone, anywhere, who’d watched me weeping with rage and lack of sleep in those first months after Sonny was born, or seen his first steps, or listened to him tell his nonsense stories. He was a boy now. No one could ever again know him as a baby. That would be missing, too. I wouldn’t just be alone in the present; I would be alone in my past as well, in my memories…I would be like a traveler from a distant country that no one had ever been to, nor ever heard of, an immigrant from that vanished land” my youth.”
(180)
”I was prepared for solitude – even for freedom – but I was not prepared for this: the abandonment.”
Our actions, our choices, look different to those who are not us. Pearlie finally recognized the truth about her marriage – that her husband loved her for the person she was. (190)