When We Were Mothers

by Nicci Kadilak

A novel as shocking and vital as the flow of blood after a delivery. The world needs this book, and more like it. It's a torch in the dark while a better world struggles to be born.
-Meg Elison, author of The Book of the Unnamed Midwife

Lucinda was born to guide her mother’s secret society out of the shadows. But no one ever told her how much she would have to sacrifice.

As First Daughter of the Garden Society, Lucinda has devoted her life to bringing natural birth back to a world where it has been outlawed. But when her best friend dies giving birth illegally and Lucinda is forced to cover up the cause of death, the stakes of this lifelong secret become all too real.

Emeka is a decorated detective known for his objectivity and level head. But his latest case leads him too close to home, and he must shift his perspective--or risk losing those closest to him.

Can Lucinda evade Emeka's investigation and keep the Society and all its members alive? Or will the world her mother spent a lifetime building collapse, taking Lucinda and all her Sisters along with it?

Lucinda is a strong female protagonist who showcases women's resilience and vulnerability. When We Were Mothers is perfect for fans of The Handmaid's Tale and anyone who enjoys a suspenseful story about a world that hasn't arrived yet, but very well could.

Pick up your copy on January 17 wherever books are sold, and be sure to ask your local library to carry it.

Genres: Fiction, Science Fiction

363 pages, Paperback

Published January 17, 2023

About the author

Nicci Kadilak is an educator, author, journalist, and mom whose personal essays have been featured in publications such as Zibby Mag, MamaMia, and The Motherload. Before becoming a full-time writer, she was a K-12+ teacher, tutor, and school administrator. She could never fully leave the education world, and she still takes regular work as a consultant. She holds a bachelor’s degree in neuroscience (with a minor in math) from Boston University and a master’s in education administration. Nicci lives with her husband and three children outside Boston, where she writes and produces a local news publication.

Stay connected and get exclusive opportunities at Nicci's weekly newsletter, Nicci's Notes.

Reviews

[Lauren · Rating 5 out of 5]

Got a chance to be a beta reader. Absolutely loved the world Nicci created here. Loved the message. It’s a beautiful story. Can’t wait to read the published version!

[Nicci Kadilak]

A novel as shocking and vital as the flow of blood after a delivery. The world needs this book, and more like it. It's a torch in the dark while a better world struggles to be born.

-Meg Elison, author of The Book of the Unnamed Midwife

What if children could be born from an artificial womb in their parents' nursery?

What if we didn't have a choice?

When We Were Mothers presents a fresh take on the question of reproductive choice: In a society where gender imbalances have been largely eliminated thanks to technological evolution, what happens when some women want to return to nature? And what happens when they don't have the support to do so safely?

When We Were Mothers is perfect for fans of The Handmaid's Tale, Blue Ticket, Daughters of the North (The Carhullan Army), The Power, and anyone who enjoys a suspenseful tale about a world that hasn't arrived yet, but very well could.

[Becky · Rating 5 out of 5]

(Beta reader of this book.)

the world of “When We Were Mothers”, women are not permitted to have children naturally because it is too risky for mother and child. Every child born is a designer baby; carefully crafted to their parents’ specifications. Lucinda is one of those who quietly rebel against this; only to find herself in trouble with the law when a tragic event happens.

This work interweaves the investigation of the tragic event by Detective Emeka with the internal reckoning Lucinda must do with herself as she processes the event and decides what is next for her and her work.

I read a fair amount of speculative fiction; “When We Were Mothers” is a fascinating spin on reproductive rights issue that I haven’t encountered before and I thoroughly enjoyed it. I look forward to more work by the author.

[Keith · Rating 4 out of 5]

My favorite science fiction stories have something profound to say about the age they were written, while providing an interesting world that contrasts with our own. When We Were Mothers is such a story. It is also an effective mystery and thriller that kept me guessing throughout.

Nicci Kadilak sets her novel at some undisclosed point in the future. Great improvements have been made in public health, with mankind living longer and healthier lives. Implants monitor “just about every aspect of health” (p. 40) from the day a person is born. Self-driving cars have eliminated needless accidents. “Massive agricultural greenhouses” (p. 154) ensure that there is enough food for the large population. Autochefs take care of our cooking needs. Expectant parents, regardless of gender, get twelve weeks of “parental leave before the baby arrives and another forty afterward” (p. 64). Most impressively, two centuries in the past, “nursery womb” technology has made childbirth a matter of “predictable convenience” (p. 74) without human wombs being necessary. This and “safeguarding procedures” give girls and women the option to be free from the difficulties of “menstruation, pregnancy, and childbirth” (p. 101) and other aspects of being female that are labeled “inconveniences” (p. 122). In Kadilak’s world, the roles of women and men are much more egalitarian, perhaps thanks to this technology. However, a century before the events of When We Were Mothers, a law was put into place making “safeguarding” procedures (sterilization) in infancy mandatory: girls and women no longer have the legal right to choose to give birth naturally.

In response, an underground Society has been formed by women who want to continue to give birth “as they were born to do,” viewing the nursery wombs as “shameful substitutes for growing human life” (p. 35). They find ways to bypass safeguarding procedures in infants and trick implants not to notice hormonal fluctuations. Our protagonist Lucinda is the First Daughter of this society. When her best friend Celeste dies in a natural birth, this circumstance throws her life and that of the Society into turmoil. Will the investigation bring their illegal operations to light? The story delves into issues of consent and reproductive rights very applicable to our world today.
*

My favorite quote:

“Celeste’s absence echoes painfully here. Lucinda can almost see her Sister as she was just days ago, feet folded beneath her and a tray of seedlings at her side, surrounded by a trio of young girls clambering to place their hands atop her bulging belly. She was so patient with the curious youngsters, describing everything from her changing energy levels to how baby hiccups feel from the inside. Their mothers, too, soaked in every word. Outside, childbirth is a matter of predictable convenience. A cheek swab, a trait-selection session on the BabyMaker app, and nine months watching the baby grow in a nursery womb. Only inside the Garden can these Sisters witness the incredible life-giving work a woman’s body is capable of. Work that their bodies will one day carry out, as well.

If it doesn’t kill them.” (pp. 74-5).

**

Citation:
Kadilak, N. (2022). When we were mothers. Nicci Kadilak. https://www.niccikadilak.com/book.html

Title: When We Were Mothers
Author(s): Nicci Kadilak
Year: 2022
Genre: Fiction - Novel: science fiction, mystery, thriller
Page count: 363 pages
Date(s) read: 1/18/24-1/20/24
Book #21 in 2024
**

[Paula · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a fascinating novel about a futuristic, seemingly utopian society. But it is more than that. It is about a secret society consisting of brave mothers and their daughters who have decided how they will create a family. The premise of this novel resonates with parallels to our own contemporary political struggle with women's right, but with a twist. The story unfolds when a tragic childbirth sets in motion an investigation that threatens to topple the Garden Society and their secret. Although Lucinda and her mother, Dr.Das work tirelessly to protect the society and its member, they cannot dissuade the investigator, Abuto Emeka. Subtle clues unwind, revealing one broken law after another. Eventually the stunned Governing Council learns the secrets of the Garden Society, leaving the reader to wonder, what will be their fate?

[Laura Vittum · Rating 5 out of 5]

When We Were Mothers is a story of strength, resilience and hope mixed with just the right amount of suspense. A must read from a new author!

[Christina Brown · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was fortunate enough to read an advanced copy of this novel. It was beautifully written & extremely powerful. I cannot wait to grab a copy of the published version.

[Suzann · Rating 5 out of 5]

Grateful beta reader here! Kadilak has built a world questionably dystopian - how far away are we from the government mandating the activities of a woman’s womb? Have you been watching the news, oh not too far! Kadilak fills the pages with beautiful prose, a determined and passionate female protagonist, relatable family dynamics, mystery, tension, and intrigue. We Were Mothers is an engaging, thought provoking, and entertaining read.

[Caroline · Rating 5 out of 5]

I had the chance to be an advance reader for this book and loved it! It was so hard to put down and kept me guessing on what would come next. The books takes place in the future where women are no longer allowed to give birth naturally and instead use artificial wombs, controlled by the government. However there is a secret society of women that are trying to bring back natural births. After one women dies giving birth illegally, the books follows the aftermath and investigation into her death. I felt so connected to the characters as I was reading and couldn’t wait to see how everything would play out. I highly recommend this as your next read when released in January!

[Phyllis Neufeld · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am always searching for books to grab me, pull me in, and cause emotions to surface. Nicci Kadilak’s "When We Were Mothers" is such a book. It couldn’t have come at a more appropriate time in history, when women’s decisions about their own bodies are in jeopardy. This futuristic fiction book deals with a society that takes the decision of childbirth away from the female population and reduces having children to a computer formula and an incubator. Those who buck the system face legal and social ramifications. When a secretive natural childbirth ends in death for one mother, chaos and fear reign. The group of women who have banded (and bonded) together in secret to be able to experience natural childbirth are scared and a passionate detective is getting too close to the truth for their comfort. Fear, confusion, and danger abound, especially for Lucinda and her mom who essentially manage the group. I found myself pulled into the emotions of the main characters, while being outraged on their behalf. The content is troubling, the characters complex, and what I can promise you - it will make you feel and think. Just what a book should do.

[Erin O'Donnell · Rating 5 out of 5]

In a world where mothers no longer have the choice to physically give birth, a secret society of mothers is formed. The group secretly helps mothers deliver babies. When a birth goes wrong, Lucinda finds herself in the center of the controversy. Lucinda begins to question her own beliefs. Is the group she has dedicated her life to actually doing what is right? Should women be able to choose the way they decide to have children?

Nicci’s world building belongs in a movie! Her background in science helped bring this sci fi/dystopian to life.

[Dana Tohme · Rating 5 out of 5]

So so so good

[Jaimee Greitzer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Out of almost 50 books, this was the best I read this year. As soon as my daughters are old enough, I’m gifting it to them. It’s an extremely important read for all females. Incredible story. I can’t wait for the prequel!!!

[Lyndsey · Rating 5 out of 5]

The topic was interesting, but it was a great story.

[Nancy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Nicci Kadilak’s debut novel is a riveting story from start to finish!

Imagine a world where you have the right to give birth, but the choice of how you give birth is government sanctioned. The women of the Garden Society believe and practice otherwise. However, when one of their members dies giving birth, the subsequent investigation threatens to expose their secrets and lead to their downfall.

When We Were Mothers is a fascinating and suspenseful tale, that will keep the reader turning the pages. This book has heart, thrills and intelligence. The author deftly and expertly weaves a story with elements that are vital to all of us: birth, reproductive rights, and the often fraught relationships between mothers and daughters.

This book defies definition by any one genre, and will appeal to a wide audience. I recommend it to everyone who is looking for a thought-provoking and entertaining read. When We Were Mothers is a cautionary tale for our age, and its story and message will stay with you long after you finish the last page.

[Caleb Benadum · Rating 5 out of 5]

A dystopian detective story with a twist, set in a world where women fight for the right to give birth. This book is important and impactful, gripping and well-written, tightly plotted with a promise that delivers. I highly recommend When We Were Mothers and I want to underline that--not in spite of its subject matter but because of it--this book should be read by women and men alike. Lucinda and Emeka shine as good characters driven by forces outside of their control, at least at first, towards a thrilling conclusion where all secrets must finally be laid bare.

[Crystal · Rating 4 out of 5]

I don’t typically enjoy books that have a futuristic setting. But this one was fascinating! I felt connected to the storyline as it parallels what is happening in our society today along the lines of women’s rights. While reading it, I couldn’t help but imagine how likely some of the scenarios could happen in the future if we continue to allow politicians to be in charge of our bodies.
Looking forward to the sequel!

[Jopetroni · Rating 5 out of 5]

Super well-written cliff-hanger swirl of a book! The words are well crafted and visually enticing. The circling around one another of the two characters plays really well. I could not put it down:)

Very good read indeed!

[Melanie Farkas · Rating 5 out of 5]

What an incredible story - and a chilling addition to the dystopian genre that feels way too close to possible. The author tells a beautiful story of motherhood, resistance and relationships. I couldn’t put it down! I can’t wait to see what she writes next!

[Bryna · Rating 5 out of 5]

A dystopian must read

This was a page turner that really hit close to home with society today. So many things that sound like I would love to have and, likely, will be real life sooner than we think. The characters are well developed and you will connect with them.
Read this book!
Fully supported by Shiny Things Book Club!

[Sabina · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved this book. So timely with everything going on in the world. The story really makes you think and the characters are written three dimensionally, as a reader it is easy to connect with them. Highly suggest picking up this book.

[Sundria (Sundi) McCormick · Rating 4 out of 5]

What a timely, almost prophetic book. Women’s rights and bodily autonomy in a dystopian world, yet we seem to be living the edges of this now. Very well written and I’m super pumped for a sequel.

[Teresa Sprinkle · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read “When we were Mothers” in it’s very early stages and found it to be a very easy and enjoyable book. It was also disturbing to me as even though it’s fiction, it’s very well how this world could become in a very short time if women don’t fight for their rights. This book is very relevant right now, especially with the overturning of Roe vs Wade. Everyone should get a copy of this book and read as it not only tells a wonderful story but also examines the human element of how people adapt to the changes of law(s) and the ramifications of when they don’t.

[Veronica Gliatti · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is different and at first I didn't like it. When it kicks into gear,get ready for a wild ride you didn't see coming!

[Jessica Wheatley · Rating 5 out of 5]

A true must-read. This book has it all. Exhilaration, anticipation, futurism, a terrifying (in the most exciting way possible) story about what scientifically could be.
The author brilliantly creates a universe filled with detail and creative power. You find yourself rooting for the characters as they make their way through the twists and turns of the enticing plot.
One of those books you truly can’t put down!

[Jessica Baim · Rating 3 out of 5]

A solid 3.5, but doesn’t tip enough to 4. The opening borrows from Atwood and Lowry, and probably others, but definitely has a point of view of its own. The final 3rd has a faster pace, but I found the ending unsatisfactory.

[Amy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Could not put it down!

When we were mothers was thought provoking, intriguing, and had me hooked the whole way through! So well written, with characters you really care about.

[Kim Mahoney · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great book, slightly slow at first but then I really got into it. As a woman, the book really hit home for me especially given recent supreme court rulings. I was legit crying by the end.

[Carol Gordon Ekster · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautifully written. Great concept. Good for fans of the Handmaid Tale.

[Rachel Schein · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow is all I can say, what an incredible book!