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Missing from Me
Recounting the case of her son Ryan's disappearance in an idyllic Canadian ski town, Heather Shtuka takes the reader from her role of parent to search and rescue coordinator through to missing-person advocate, inviting us on her journey to bring her son home.
- GenresNonfictionMemoir
420 pages, Hardcover
Published November 17, 2022
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657 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 37 reviews
January 16, 2023
4.5 stars
I am blessed to say that that the depth of emotion in this book is something I have not encountered. Isn’t it every mother’s worst nightmare? A missing child….
Many life lessons in this book and it is heavy. I remember driving back from Seattle to Edmonton and seeing the billboards of Ryan at Sunpeaks. I prayed then and I pray now for closure for this family.
“I got a third tattoo in Cambodia. It reads “Tu me manques. In French they don’t say, I miss you but rather, you are missing from me.
I love that.
For no matter where my children go… they remain in my heart for always.”
Lovely, raw book that I will pass onto a friend that is struggling with her own grief.
My only struggle with this book is it needed a really good edit. Otherwise, learn to be grateful in the ordinary.
I am blessed to say that that the depth of emotion in this book is something I have not encountered. Isn’t it every mother’s worst nightmare? A missing child….
Many life lessons in this book and it is heavy. I remember driving back from Seattle to Edmonton and seeing the billboards of Ryan at Sunpeaks. I prayed then and I pray now for closure for this family.
“I got a third tattoo in Cambodia. It reads “Tu me manques. In French they don’t say, I miss you but rather, you are missing from me.
I love that.
For no matter where my children go… they remain in my heart for always.”
Lovely, raw book that I will pass onto a friend that is struggling with her own grief.
My only struggle with this book is it needed a really good edit. Otherwise, learn to be grateful in the ordinary.
Read
January 24, 2025Not the book I thought I was getting into, when I picked up this book I had no clue this case remained unsolved, I wanted answers immediately. Knowing this mothers pain of so many unresolved questions remains the same 6 years later is awful beyond words. Reading about the mother Heather’s resilience and strength from the situation is inspiring. I hope she gets answers soon. And i hope to have an ounce of her grace in dealing with such difficult circumstances.
November 28, 2022
In “Missing From Me” Heather Shtuka gives us a very personal and raw account of the days before, during and after her son, Ryan Shtuka, disappeared in the idyllic ski town of Sun Peaks, Canada. What follows could be a guide for any family who finds themselves in a position of becoming a missing persons’ advocate.
We see firsthand her evolution from mother, to search and rescue leader, to advocate and media relations pro, and of course always putting her role as a mother first. If you want an example of an author who put their heart on a page from cover to cover, it’s Heather Shtuka.
A great read for anyone processing grief, going through tragedy or missing a loved one, or who wants a story about the strength of the human spirit.
We see firsthand her evolution from mother, to search and rescue leader, to advocate and media relations pro, and of course always putting her role as a mother first. If you want an example of an author who put their heart on a page from cover to cover, it’s Heather Shtuka.
A great read for anyone processing grief, going through tragedy or missing a loved one, or who wants a story about the strength of the human spirit.
March 11, 2024
“What would you do?? If you were me? If your child had gone missing without a trace? What mountains would you move?”
This book was very hard to read as the mother of a son. I think I cried through the entire thing. An extraordinary story of what a mother will do to find her son, the lengths she will go to and the bravery and strength she had to keep going day after day.
I found this book in the local authors section of the library and although I wasn’t familiar with Ryan’s story, I wanted to find out about him. How absolutely heartbreaking for this family to still be looking for answers and closure 6 years later but what a beautiful story of this family and this young man who will never be forgotten.
This book was very hard to read as the mother of a son. I think I cried through the entire thing. An extraordinary story of what a mother will do to find her son, the lengths she will go to and the bravery and strength she had to keep going day after day.
I found this book in the local authors section of the library and although I wasn’t familiar with Ryan’s story, I wanted to find out about him. How absolutely heartbreaking for this family to still be looking for answers and closure 6 years later but what a beautiful story of this family and this young man who will never be forgotten.
December 14, 2022
In February of 2018 I saw a news story on my social media that rocked my world. It was about a young man named Ryan Shtuka who had gone missing in Sun Peaks, BC. People unfortunately go missing all the time, but until that point, it happened to strangers. I knew this family, or at least, our lives had intersected for a time as Ryan played soccer with my son for several seasons. I remember him as a nice kid who treated my son well, and his parents were friendly and welcoming to us as the newcomers joining a team outside our community. That something terrible had happened to someone in my son's sphere, someone a lot like him, spreading his wings in another province just like my son was, rattled me to my very core. I immediately joined the Facebook group his mom, Heather, started related to the search, I donated to their Go Fund Me, and I prayed...oh how I prayed, and I still do. But almost five years later, Ryan is still missing.
Early on I was impressed with the very articulate posts that Heather made on the Facebook page. She told stories about Ryan's childhood, shared the emotional journey she and her husband were navigating, and talked about the search and the amazing people, many strangers, who were helping them. As time went by, followers of the group watched her blossom into an passionate advocate for missing persons and their families. I am in no way surprised that she wrote a book about the journey. Much of this book is made up of those posts from the first year after Ryan went missing.
I found this book very difficult to read, not because of the writing, but because of the difficult subject matter, and the fact that I knew that there was not going to be a happy ending, or even really a conclusion. I think what happened to Ryan is every parent's worst nightmare. It is a difficult emotional journey, and left me in tears at times, but I am so glad I read it.
I believe this book is self published, and I think it could benefit from some editing for grammar, spelling, and general tightening up of some rather wordy sections (I recall that Heather does like to talk), but it is such an important story. I hope a proper publisher picks it up, or works with Heather on another book, as she has a lot of talent and some very important stuff to say.
Early on I was impressed with the very articulate posts that Heather made on the Facebook page. She told stories about Ryan's childhood, shared the emotional journey she and her husband were navigating, and talked about the search and the amazing people, many strangers, who were helping them. As time went by, followers of the group watched her blossom into an passionate advocate for missing persons and their families. I am in no way surprised that she wrote a book about the journey. Much of this book is made up of those posts from the first year after Ryan went missing.
I found this book very difficult to read, not because of the writing, but because of the difficult subject matter, and the fact that I knew that there was not going to be a happy ending, or even really a conclusion. I think what happened to Ryan is every parent's worst nightmare. It is a difficult emotional journey, and left me in tears at times, but I am so glad I read it.
I believe this book is self published, and I think it could benefit from some editing for grammar, spelling, and general tightening up of some rather wordy sections (I recall that Heather does like to talk), but it is such an important story. I hope a proper publisher picks it up, or works with Heather on another book, as she has a lot of talent and some very important stuff to say.
December 18, 2022
Your son is missing.
As a mother myself, this is, irrefutably, my worst nightmare, but for Heather Shtuka, this was the sobering reality. On February 18, 2018, after being alerted by her son’s roommate that he hadn’t been seen since the night before, she and her husband made the nine-hour trip from Alberta to Sun Peaks, BC, to begin the arduous and heartbreaking task of searching for Ryan. Days turned into weeks, turned into months, but the parents’ resolve never wavered. Their supportive community of friends and volunteers tirelessly dedicated their time. But still, there was no solace—no Ryan. Heather would not grieve until her son’s body was recovered.
“Missing From Me” is a labor of love written by Heather Shtuka that chronicles the search and rescue efforts in the early days of Ryan’s disappearance, followed by the all-consuming grief that came afterward. Heather’s story is a sad one, but there are nuggets of joy throughout—a community banning together, unwavering support, and the legacy that a charismatic young man leaves behind. This is a book that you need to read.
While there were many things to find touching about this book, the one that filled my heart most was Heather’s perseverance. This was a woman that could have easily (and understandably so) crumbled under pressure and let grief swallow her whole. After all, a parent should never bury their child. Instead, she channeled that sorrow into something beautiful. She wrote down her feelings and recollections—memories of Ryan on a community Facebook page and embraced the community that bore some of the weight when the grief was too heavy. It is said that raising a child takes a village, but the same can be said about losing one. Keeping his memory alive was a collective effort, and I like to think that in his wake, the gift that Ryan left behind was the unending support of a loving community.
This heartfelt book has accomplished two things—it provides a therapeutic outlet for a grieving mother and honors the memory of a young man who touched many lives. I’d say that was a silver lining, wouldn’t you? Unfortunately, life happens, and as much as we may think we’re immune, tragedy doesn’t discriminate. In a matter of seconds, it can set fire to our whole world—leaving us broken on the ground. But Heather teaches us it is how we rise from the ashes, despite how much we may falter and get to our feet, that allows us to see slivers of hope once again. As the author would say to her son, it’s okay if you fall—just get back up.
Heather’s book will resonate deeply with readers, especially parents who have lost a child. Her raw, unfettered emotion creates a safe place to grieve, and her resilience will be a beacon of light in the darkest days. “Missing From Me” is a 5-star book!
As a mother myself, this is, irrefutably, my worst nightmare, but for Heather Shtuka, this was the sobering reality. On February 18, 2018, after being alerted by her son’s roommate that he hadn’t been seen since the night before, she and her husband made the nine-hour trip from Alberta to Sun Peaks, BC, to begin the arduous and heartbreaking task of searching for Ryan. Days turned into weeks, turned into months, but the parents’ resolve never wavered. Their supportive community of friends and volunteers tirelessly dedicated their time. But still, there was no solace—no Ryan. Heather would not grieve until her son’s body was recovered.
“Missing From Me” is a labor of love written by Heather Shtuka that chronicles the search and rescue efforts in the early days of Ryan’s disappearance, followed by the all-consuming grief that came afterward. Heather’s story is a sad one, but there are nuggets of joy throughout—a community banning together, unwavering support, and the legacy that a charismatic young man leaves behind. This is a book that you need to read.
While there were many things to find touching about this book, the one that filled my heart most was Heather’s perseverance. This was a woman that could have easily (and understandably so) crumbled under pressure and let grief swallow her whole. After all, a parent should never bury their child. Instead, she channeled that sorrow into something beautiful. She wrote down her feelings and recollections—memories of Ryan on a community Facebook page and embraced the community that bore some of the weight when the grief was too heavy. It is said that raising a child takes a village, but the same can be said about losing one. Keeping his memory alive was a collective effort, and I like to think that in his wake, the gift that Ryan left behind was the unending support of a loving community.
This heartfelt book has accomplished two things—it provides a therapeutic outlet for a grieving mother and honors the memory of a young man who touched many lives. I’d say that was a silver lining, wouldn’t you? Unfortunately, life happens, and as much as we may think we’re immune, tragedy doesn’t discriminate. In a matter of seconds, it can set fire to our whole world—leaving us broken on the ground. But Heather teaches us it is how we rise from the ashes, despite how much we may falter and get to our feet, that allows us to see slivers of hope once again. As the author would say to her son, it’s okay if you fall—just get back up.
Heather’s book will resonate deeply with readers, especially parents who have lost a child. Her raw, unfettered emotion creates a safe place to grieve, and her resilience will be a beacon of light in the darkest days. “Missing From Me” is a 5-star book!
December 18, 2022
The weather outside was bitterly cold. Decided to have a pyjama day. Picked up this book in the morning. Finished it that night. Needless to say, I had a hard time sleeping. Feeling drained this morning. What a story. I remember when Ryan went missing. His face was all over Facebook. And it was so close to home (a Beaumont family). This was heart wrenching to read, as one of my sons is now the same age as Ryan was when he went missing. I cried most of the day. My heart was breaking for this mother. I have no words to describe her writing, her voice. She is a special woman, mother, wife, person.
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January 29, 2024This book really hits you in the feels, diving into the struggles of a family stuck in limbo. As someone who's visited the area post-Ryan's disappearance, the signs along the road sparked curiosity, and this book provided the missing pieces. Discovering Ryan's connection to Beaumont hits close to home, prompting reflection on the fragility of our own lives. It served as a poignant reminder to cherish my loved ones a bit more.
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February 2, 2024No rating on this one. Obviously a very tragic event for the family and the community, and I commend the family for being able to share their experience, but I didn’t overall love the writing style of this book.
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July 8, 2024I don’t feel comfortable rating this book, as it involves real people experiencing a trauma, and I don’t want to offend or pass judgement. However, I had a hard time getting through this book. I felt that since most of the content was recopied Facebook posts with minimal surrounding narrative, I could have gotten essentially the same story from scrolling social media. It read like a personal journal and not at all like a true crime case overview. My heart goes out to the family, and I hope they get justice one day for Ryan.
December 21, 2022
I expected to have my heart shattered reading this book. At times that happened, but alongside that came acceptance, appreciation and an aspiration to a kind of strength, determination, conviction and fierce love, that I can only pray to bring with me into motherhood. This is one of those life-changing reads, one that will have you seeing snow in a different light, spreading acts of kindness, and holding those you love a little tighter.
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December 22, 2022I think about Ryan sometimes and can’t imagine how I would live in his mother’s shoes, not knowing what happened. Please, God…let this family find peace some day. I think this story exists in a place beyond my rating, so I’m choosing not to.
April 17, 2024
I HATE to rate this so bad. The story is heartbreaking. But this is a book made 90% out of copy and pasted Facebook posts.
January 20, 2023
This book invokes real tears, you try to fathom the author and family experiencing all these events and its very heartbreaking. Heather has done what she set out to do, ensure Ryan is loved by all and is not lost amongst the statistics. He will not be forgotten. The only reason I give it 3.5/4 stars is solely because I felt at times it read repetitively, which to no fault of her own, as it is apart of the story. So its not really a negative review. For someone with no previous experience as an author she is able to write her thoughts and emotions into this story with so much grace. I admire her strength.
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December 23, 2023I didn’t want to rate this book which is so raw and where the family is still living in limbo. Being from a community near Beaumont, AB and having been to Sunpeaks since Ryan went missing, I had heard of his disappearance. This book describes how agonizing, convoluted and complicated a missing persons case is, told from a mother’s broken hearted perspective. It will make you hug your children a little tighter.
July 31, 2024
If you read this make sure there is a box of tissues beside you at all times. I could have filled a bath tub the amount of times I cried during this book. Knowing the family and story outside of the book made it an exceptionally hard read, but i wanted support the family with my book purchase and my time!
It was extremely well written especially since Heather had to write through the emotions right in those moments. My heart is with the family. 💕
It was extremely well written especially since Heather had to write through the emotions right in those moments. My heart is with the family. 💕
February 16, 2023
I have followed the Shtuka's story since the start. I have always thought that Heather was a gifted writer when she shared on Ryan's Facebook Group. The book was beautifully written. It is such a heartbreaking story. She brought you through so many different emotions. I admire how they now support other families.
February 20, 2023
Heather, thank you for sharing Ryan with the world, your strength for so many when their worlds are forever changed, and your experience of searching for a missing loved one when no one gives you a manual for what to do when your child is missing. Ryan will always be remembered.
September 5, 2023
It’s tough to rate a book that is about a missing son written first hand by his mother. You could tell the grief through the writing but also how it grew to a legacy for Ryan. Even years later now living in the area I still hear and see signs of him.
October 6, 2024
missing from Me
Emotional and well-written account of a family’s search for their missing son. The author goes to great lengths to help the reader understand who her son is, as well as the grief and fear involved in this type of loss. Well worth the read.
Emotional and well-written account of a family’s search for their missing son. The author goes to great lengths to help the reader understand who her son is, as well as the grief and fear involved in this type of loss. Well worth the read.
September 21, 2025
heartbreaking
The raw emotion. It was written like you were right there with the family.
As a Sar member, our biggest fear is not being able to find the person. To have closure.
All my ❤️ to the family and friends.
The raw emotion. It was written like you were right there with the family.
As a Sar member, our biggest fear is not being able to find the person. To have closure.
All my ❤️ to the family and friends.
January 7, 2023
Beautiful words Heather. Thank you for expressing a mere sliver of your unimaginable journey with us all.
February 18, 2023
Heartbreaking! A parents worst nightmare 😞
March 18, 2023
Beautifully written, this is a heartbreaking story from a Mom. I wish Heather the closure that her and her family need. There but for the grace of God.
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April 15, 2023This collection of journal entries from Ryan’s mom is absolutely gut wrenching.
The loss of a child is my worst scenario. My heart is with the Shutka family.
The loss of a child is my worst scenario. My heart is with the Shutka family.
June 20, 2023
Heartbreaking… I pray one day this family gets answers!
July 24, 2023
Although I don't feel right rating this because it's her true story, her reality! I hope Ryan comes home eventually, however that may be...
October 18, 2023
Heart wrenching
June 24, 2024
Finished Missing From Me and it was so well written. I could feel Heathers pain in Ryan’s disappearance. She wrote about it with such love and compassion.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 37 reviews