What do you think?
Rate this book
And How Do You Feel About That
For too long, therapy has been seen as taboo in our society and is shrouded in myth--it's only for the weak or 'crazies', it's just blaming your parents, a therapist 'only listens' and so on. In this book, Aruna Gopakumar and Yashodhara Lal bust those myths and show you how therapy actually works.
With decades of combined experience in the field, these two therapists share fascinating stories based on their practice. You'll meet the woman who sends secret messages to her husband during arguments; the towering tattooed man who realizes he can't save his sister; the teenager whose life is revealed in the tale of a lonely bear; the divorced man angry with his ex-wife for starting to date again; the fiery gay young man impatient to change the world; the lady who won't relax until her daughter is perfect; and many more.
Written with authenticity, warmth, simplicity, and lightness, And How Do You Feel About That brings you an understanding of the world of possibilities that opens up when we embark on an inner exploration - in dialogue with another.
With decades of combined experience in the field, these two therapists share fascinating stories based on their practice. You'll meet the woman who sends secret messages to her husband during arguments; the towering tattooed man who realizes he can't save his sister; the teenager whose life is revealed in the tale of a lonely bear; the divorced man angry with his ex-wife for starting to date again; the fiery gay young man impatient to change the world; the lady who won't relax until her daughter is perfect; and many more.
Written with authenticity, warmth, simplicity, and lightness, And How Do You Feel About That brings you an understanding of the world of possibilities that opens up when we embark on an inner exploration - in dialogue with another.
376 pages, Paperback
First published December 12, 2022
30 people are currently reading
242 people want to read
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 24 of 24 reviews
November 3, 2025
I have read many books on mental health this year, but this one is rapidly climbing up my favorites shelf. It’s also not often that you happen to meet one of the authors WHILE you are reading their book.
‘And How Do You Feel About That’ introduced me to Transactional Analysis - a type of therapy I hadn’t heard of but which was familiar to me as the Internal Family Systems or Parts Work that I had been doing with my therapist on and off. More than that, I felt as I read each of the ‘client’ stories (fictional) that I was reading about my own life. There were so many stories I could relate to, and the dialog structure of the book made me feel like I was having a conversation with a therapist.
There aren't too many books on mental health by Indian authors - this one is a treasure.
Read this to understand a little bit more of yourself. How do I feel about this book? Warm, cozy, and seen.
‘And How Do You Feel About That’ introduced me to Transactional Analysis - a type of therapy I hadn’t heard of but which was familiar to me as the Internal Family Systems or Parts Work that I had been doing with my therapist on and off. More than that, I felt as I read each of the ‘client’ stories (fictional) that I was reading about my own life. There were so many stories I could relate to, and the dialog structure of the book made me feel like I was having a conversation with a therapist.
There aren't too many books on mental health by Indian authors - this one is a treasure.
Read this to understand a little bit more of yourself. How do I feel about this book? Warm, cozy, and seen.
February 20, 2024
Indian Therapists giving first-hand accounts of helping people achieve epiphanies and breakthroughs? Colour me intrigued. The book has fifty short, fictionalized accounts of clients in the therapy room covering a wide variety of scenarios brought by people. The authors give insight into their own reactions in the sessions, and their pacing of sharing interpretations and making interventions. The inclusion of non-verbal expressions of emotions was also well done. It highlighted how, even though we rationalize part of ourselves or our surroundings using out-dated scripts from the past, there are simmering, repressed emotions beneath the surface.
My major issue with the book was the oversimplification of the time and effort it takes for breakthroughs. Granted, the author had to fit in multiple stories, but I wish there were fifteen longer stories instead of fifty short ones. It felt like the equivalent of watching Youtube Shorts for mental health. The epiphanies were sudden, dramatic, with dots often connecting seamlessly right to the childhood. The trope of client coming with an issue --> author figuring out underlying emotions in all such cases --> client instantly connecting the same to childhood felt overused by the end of the book. The exercise of displacing your parent, child and adult self and having conversations felt conveniently decisive each time they happened.
Having said that, I would be excited to read more by the authors, especially if they came up with longer, slower, more realistic journeys with their clients.
My major issue with the book was the oversimplification of the time and effort it takes for breakthroughs. Granted, the author had to fit in multiple stories, but I wish there were fifteen longer stories instead of fifty short ones. It felt like the equivalent of watching Youtube Shorts for mental health. The epiphanies were sudden, dramatic, with dots often connecting seamlessly right to the childhood. The trope of client coming with an issue --> author figuring out underlying emotions in all such cases --> client instantly connecting the same to childhood felt overused by the end of the book. The exercise of displacing your parent, child and adult self and having conversations felt conveniently decisive each time they happened.
Having said that, I would be excited to read more by the authors, especially if they came up with longer, slower, more realistic journeys with their clients.
February 4, 2023
A really long time back, while attending a workshop, the workshop leader asked us, 'Who do we not listen to?' Within seconds I quipped,'Ourselves.' I remember she being pleasantly surprised and saying, 'Never got this response so quick from anyone!'
We listen to everyone telling us what we should do, not do, what we are, what we are not, how we should be and how we should not be. But we often push ourselves in that singled out corner of our interior room, not wanting to listen to what we have to say to ourselves.
As an adult, I know how many times I have held my childhood, parents, bad choice of friends and idiocracy around me for my eccentricities, my lack or excess of X's and Y's. I feel this is not entirely wrong, as we are a product of our experiences. But how long would we live those decisions, hold others responsible? At the end of the day, they are just 'others' even though they were our parents, siblings, relatives, friends - each a product of their experience.
But it's tough to change, to choose a new story, a new derivative - it needs us to listen to ourselves.
Being a teacher to teens and a mother to two themselves, I have become completely open minded towards mental health and the act of speaking to an expert if that opens up our paths.
'And How Do You Feel About That' is not a replacement to an expert. But it's the perfect book to get a preview of what happens in therapy - the breakthroughs and triumphs.
Whether you are someone, who in your heart knows you need someone to talk to and find answers to why you are the way you are and how you could choose a new narrative for yourself or you are someone who feels therapy is just another word that has sprouted in the past two years, this book would be an eye opener. There were certain parts of the book where I felt, 'This is me!' And strangely I felt relieved.
This is NOT a sad book. Aruna Gopakumar and Yashodhara Lal use simple and light narratives to show how therapy actually works; it's a book for everyone.
We listen to everyone telling us what we should do, not do, what we are, what we are not, how we should be and how we should not be. But we often push ourselves in that singled out corner of our interior room, not wanting to listen to what we have to say to ourselves.
As an adult, I know how many times I have held my childhood, parents, bad choice of friends and idiocracy around me for my eccentricities, my lack or excess of X's and Y's. I feel this is not entirely wrong, as we are a product of our experiences. But how long would we live those decisions, hold others responsible? At the end of the day, they are just 'others' even though they were our parents, siblings, relatives, friends - each a product of their experience.
But it's tough to change, to choose a new story, a new derivative - it needs us to listen to ourselves.
Being a teacher to teens and a mother to two themselves, I have become completely open minded towards mental health and the act of speaking to an expert if that opens up our paths.
'And How Do You Feel About That' is not a replacement to an expert. But it's the perfect book to get a preview of what happens in therapy - the breakthroughs and triumphs.
Whether you are someone, who in your heart knows you need someone to talk to and find answers to why you are the way you are and how you could choose a new narrative for yourself or you are someone who feels therapy is just another word that has sprouted in the past two years, this book would be an eye opener. There were certain parts of the book where I felt, 'This is me!' And strangely I felt relieved.
This is NOT a sad book. Aruna Gopakumar and Yashodhara Lal use simple and light narratives to show how therapy actually works; it's a book for everyone.
January 12, 2023
Wow. This book saw those parts of me that I didn't even know were there. At times, I had to put the book down and just reflect on what it said or let myself shed a tear or two. A few stories felt like they were about me, like I was the one talking to the therapist. This book made me feel vulnerable, emotional, and hopeful. I'm not alone.
March 22, 2023
First book of this kind that I've read. I think one of the reviews on the cover of this book is true - at least one person in every family should read this. Short, engaging, relatable stories that demystify therapy gently.
January 7, 2023
Great book. I was able to identify my own behaviour patterns by reading about others experiences. The Indian context of therapy room conversations is an added bonus. Topics like pressure of performing well, feeling obligated to your parents, trying to fit in the cultural norm are very well addressed. A must read for adults.
February 25, 2024
The authors, Aruna Gopakumar and Yashodhara Lal, are both working therapists. There is a perception about what goes behind the doors of a therapist: the patient will lie on the sofa and talk, and the therapist will say "and how do you feel about that?". This perception has been brought by movies and TV shows, but it is not the case in reality. The main reason for writing this book was that the authors wanted to demystify therapy through storytelling.
This book consists of 50 fictionalized stories from the authors' clinical practice which takes us into the room with the therapist and the client, and we get to see how they engage with one another. The stories are related to everyday challenges and I felt relatable to a few stories. Especially the one talking about being afraid of disappointing others. 🥲
They follow a practice called Transactional Analysis where an approach is offered that is not only accessible to the psychotherapists but also to the patients who needs it.
The themes and topics of this fictionalized stories are related to our day-to-day real life. One of the topic was how our upbringing in our childhood has a huge impact on the rest of our adulthood.
As a person who goes to therapy relatively regularly, I am a huge fan of this book and what the authors tried to do with this book. Not only did they tried telling that our mental health is as much important as our physical health but also that therapists are accessible and can help us in figuring out our real issues. Additionally, the stories were entertaining as well and I had fun reading them.
Overall, I really had a nice time reading this book. The chapters/stories were also short so it was an easy read. I'd definitely recommend this book!
This book consists of 50 fictionalized stories from the authors' clinical practice which takes us into the room with the therapist and the client, and we get to see how they engage with one another. The stories are related to everyday challenges and I felt relatable to a few stories. Especially the one talking about being afraid of disappointing others. 🥲
They follow a practice called Transactional Analysis where an approach is offered that is not only accessible to the psychotherapists but also to the patients who needs it.
The themes and topics of this fictionalized stories are related to our day-to-day real life. One of the topic was how our upbringing in our childhood has a huge impact on the rest of our adulthood.
As a person who goes to therapy relatively regularly, I am a huge fan of this book and what the authors tried to do with this book. Not only did they tried telling that our mental health is as much important as our physical health but also that therapists are accessible and can help us in figuring out our real issues. Additionally, the stories were entertaining as well and I had fun reading them.
Overall, I really had a nice time reading this book. The chapters/stories were also short so it was an easy read. I'd definitely recommend this book!
Read
January 10, 2023Two therapists, Aruna Gopakumar and Yashodhara Lal, set out to bust various myths surrounding mental illness still alive in modern India. As someone who is still going to therapy, it gives me so much joy to finally see the process taken out of the mysterious therapy room and out in the open. Through fifty fictitious(?) anecdotes, the therapists cover a wide range of different issues and how they affect people. The therapists talk with their patients, guiding them to see at the heart of the issue. Whilst some of the stories satisfactorily conclude with beautiful revelations, some do not. This is not a criticism of the book but rather the book mirroring real life where sometimes things do not work out the way the therapists want to. With a coverage of such a wide variety of topics, problems and resolutions, the book has successfully shown the inner workings and complexities of mental health. I wish more people in India will read this book which, in a fun and accessible way, shows the actual techniques used by professionals. It is by no means a book to be studied by therapists in preparation for their career but rather one for the normal laypeople. And yet I love how the therapists also show up their flawed humanity in certain instances, proving that they too are not perfect Angels who fix everything with the swish of a magic wand.
February 6, 2023
A brilliant book that gives you an exposure into the therapy room, via 50 fictional narratives on numerous topics. It gives insight into the therapist's thought process and workings and highlight that therapists are also humans who bring in their shades of experiences into the therapy room and being authentic and intuitive is an important tool that they make use of in the healing process. Some stories really touched a chord and they are all so relatable you may find yourself relate to a story here or there.
The stories are not all ending on a happy note which highlights that therapy is not magic. It is work and a process that needs both therapist and client to be involved in for change, but if there is willingness it is an amazing space to process and progress.
A long overdue book, hoping this will enable more conversations around mental health in the Indian society and make therapy more accessible and normalised for people.
The stories are not all ending on a happy note which highlights that therapy is not magic. It is work and a process that needs both therapist and client to be involved in for change, but if there is willingness it is an amazing space to process and progress.
A long overdue book, hoping this will enable more conversations around mental health in the Indian society and make therapy more accessible and normalised for people.
April 12, 2023
Loved it! This book took me on such an enriching and reflective journey.
As a psychology student, it was definitely the former. I learnt about the existence of the approach, Transactional Analysis and a bunch of key concepts which has intrigued me a lot. Moreover, I came in contact with several misconceptions which I didn't even know I had in the first place, related to the therapy process.
As an individual, this book took me on an emotional ride filled with reflections. I can confidently say I am more self-aware than I was prior to reading this book and I couldn't thank the authors enough for it.
I strongly feel everyone should read this book, irrespective of age, gender, profession etc. I hope someday this book becomes a part of the Psychology curriculum in Indian schools/ colleges as a compulsory read.
As a psychology student, it was definitely the former. I learnt about the existence of the approach, Transactional Analysis and a bunch of key concepts which has intrigued me a lot. Moreover, I came in contact with several misconceptions which I didn't even know I had in the first place, related to the therapy process.
As an individual, this book took me on an emotional ride filled with reflections. I can confidently say I am more self-aware than I was prior to reading this book and I couldn't thank the authors enough for it.
I strongly feel everyone should read this book, irrespective of age, gender, profession etc. I hope someday this book becomes a part of the Psychology curriculum in Indian schools/ colleges as a compulsory read.
March 23, 2023
The book takes us inside the therapy room and humanises the concept of therapy. One will be able to find oneself in one or more of these stories. Why I am giving it 3 stars is for two reasons (A) the repetitiveness of the technique and most root causes connected to the childhood (B) once the person identifies that what is their root cause, the journey from then on seems like a step change. I am assuming in reality that may not be true. I felt the authors could have covered fewer stories but gone more deeper.
July 5, 2023
A collection of short and insightful case notes. Formulaic in parts, but I enjoyed the introduction to various concepts of psychotherapy. But I don't think it ever transcends beyond that -- being a surface-level explanation, a taster if you will. The stories were relatable, but I was left with the feeling that the solutions were perhaps a little too convenient and underplay the hard work needed to change one's life situation in any realistic way. But it was still an interesting read shining a light on what makes people tick :)
December 21, 2022
This book broke my heart in ways I didn’t know needed breaking. And then gently put all the pieces back together and made me thank my therapist.
A nuanced and well-executed deep dive into what to expect from therapy. From stories that’ll uplift you to personal accounts that’ll make you cry, Aruna and Yash ensure that you understand just what a good therapist can do for you, with you.
Read it. Savour it. Recommend it to others who need it (all of us do!).
A nuanced and well-executed deep dive into what to expect from therapy. From stories that’ll uplift you to personal accounts that’ll make you cry, Aruna and Yash ensure that you understand just what a good therapist can do for you, with you.
Read it. Savour it. Recommend it to others who need it (all of us do!).
January 22, 2023
Brilliant book on psychotherapy! If you are looking to better understand your inner world, look no further. The book has 50 short stories explaining the different concepts and workings of therapy, which makes it quite an easy and engaging read. Very insightful and makes one understand how parenting can impact children's lives as adults. A must read for all!
March 2, 2023
I liked how each story different and important aspects of Psychotherapy. However, being a trainee psychotherapist, I do feel like the process of therapy was oversimplified in many of the stories. This would be a better read for someone from a non-psychology background.
March 7, 2023
When I started reading this, I was a bit skeptical. Transactional Analysis was something I wasn't familiar with, and it felt somewhat unrealistic and too good to be true. But gradually, I warmed up to the stories of the clients and found them very insightful.
December 15, 2025
The book is definitely 10/10! As a therapist to many aspects I was able to relate to it. The only thing I might've changed was the break-through....generally we don't get as soon as they got! but apart from that it was relatable...and kept me hooked through out.
February 7, 2023
Absolute drivel. Such a disappointment.
March 2, 2023
It was definitely a good read but felt that it could be more detailed.
May 25, 2023
I needed that
October 28, 2023
Bestest 💜
August 14, 2024
Few interactions and anecdotes in sessions were quite insightful and for sure added some meaning to life
November 9, 2024
A good inside view and a TA 101 done as I read through the 50 short incident based stories of the clients.
November 21, 2025
My husband got me this book stating that he wanted me to review it before he recommended it to other people:-) Well, they have interesting everyday stories that may help people.
Displaying 1 - 24 of 24 reviews