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Lessons for the Living: Stories of Forgiveness, Gratitude, and Courage at the End of Life
When Stan Goldberg was diagnosed with cancer, he chose to face his fear by helping others who were already in the process of dying: Stan signed up as a hospice volunteer and spent several years at the bedsides of the terminally ill. In this book, Stan shares the remarkable stories of people he met who were facing the end of life. Their stories shine a light on the human capacity for beauty, insight, forgiveness, and gratitude, as we see how people like us deal with anxiety and sadness with bravery and love.
But what's especially remarkable is that the bravery and love aren't as much expressed in grand, dramatic gestures as they are in ordinary acts and small accomplishments: in simple efforts at kindness, in asking for and receiving forgiveness, in the abandonment of anger, and in learning to speak directly from the heart—and to listen in the same way. What Stan ultimately discovers—and shares here—are not lessons in dying, but rather, lessons in learning how to live.
But what's especially remarkable is that the bravery and love aren't as much expressed in grand, dramatic gestures as they are in ordinary acts and small accomplishments: in simple efforts at kindness, in asking for and receiving forgiveness, in the abandonment of anger, and in learning to speak directly from the heart—and to listen in the same way. What Stan ultimately discovers—and shares here—are not lessons in dying, but rather, lessons in learning how to live.
- GenresNonfiction
222 pages, Paperback
First published June 9, 2009
6 people are currently reading
95 people want to read
About the author
Stan Goldberg
451 books6 followersStan Goldberg has authored 7 books, 40 articles, and over 100 lectures and workshops throughout the world. His publications have received numerous national and international writing awards. His latest book, LESSONS FOR THE LIVING: Stories of Forgiveness, Gratitude, and Courage at the End of Life is Stans memoir of learning to live with cancer by helping people in hospice die. MYSELF.COM A book to change how you plan on living out the rest of your life." USAToday-"compassionate and inspiring.""
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Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews
June 16, 2009
Stan Goldberg has put together a series of stories that will inspire you to reach into your heart and soul and seek ways to care for others with a compassionate heart. Each story will guide you into acts of kindness that will move your heart into a place only your soul can embrace. In essence, these stories are encounters with eternal relationships created in our most simplest of moments in our care for others.
You will find stories of gratitude, forgiveness, courage, hope, faith, and much more in this book. As you care for the needs of others through service, you will find a path created inside you that will form your character in ways you never knew was possible. You will find peace in the appearance of despair, and you will come to know your most authentic self.
This is a book of encouragement. You will find yourself challenged by your present behavior toward others and replace it with the joy of living life in unconditional grace. Dying people have much to teach us about living, and how, unconditionally loving another person during their most darkest hours will reveal a beacon of light that will illuminate our soul.
You will find stories of gratitude, forgiveness, courage, hope, faith, and much more in this book. As you care for the needs of others through service, you will find a path created inside you that will form your character in ways you never knew was possible. You will find peace in the appearance of despair, and you will come to know your most authentic self.
This is a book of encouragement. You will find yourself challenged by your present behavior toward others and replace it with the joy of living life in unconditional grace. Dying people have much to teach us about living, and how, unconditionally loving another person during their most darkest hours will reveal a beacon of light that will illuminate our soul.
April 24, 2025
“Service is the rent we pay for living. And I realize I am not paying enough rent.”
August 15, 2021
Even though recommended by the AARP magazine for good reading, I expected "Lessons for the Living" to be dreary and preachy and a chore to read. Instead I gobbled it up, sneaking in a few minutes reading whenever I could. Chock-full of firsthand accounts of what it's like to go through the dying process with someone so it will feel less scary when it's your turn, anecdotes about the fascinating people Mr. Goldberg cared for in their last days and how much we can learn from others if we pay attention, and, maybe most important, subtle but profound gems about living your life fully NOW regardless of your health situation or circumstance. I feel blessed by Mr. Goldberg baring his soul in sharing these intimate experiences and revelations.
November 15, 2010
Just as its title says, this is a book for us living folks. It helps us build the right attitude and indispensable wisdom not just towards death but also on how we live and treat our life.
Following comments of mine were posted in Facebook originally and is English/Chinese bi-lingual:
Some thoughts from reading the book "Lessions for the Living" by Dr. Stan Goldberg
慈悲與人 -- 讀Stan Goldberg的“Lessons for the Living”有感
Jewish Buddhist Dr. Goldberg is a San Francisco resident, who has been an active volunteer in hosptices for many years, taking care of those patients who would see the end of their life soon. 猶太人佛教徒Goldberg博士是舊金山居民。他主動擔任義工（志願者）去臨終關懷醫院（hospices）照顧瀕死病人。
To him, this has been an enlightening and spiritual experience. In the chapter about Compassion, he says Compassion is human beings' nature, which is often overshadowed by our ego. Once we got ourselves free of any ego based agenda, being compassionate is as easy as breathing.
對他而言，這一經歷是啟發性的（enlightening），是靈魂層次（spiritual）的。在講慈悲（compassion）的一章中，他提到，慈悲是人類的天性。只不過我們的天性被我執（ego）遮蓋了而已。他說，去除了我執，做一個慈悲的人就跟呼吸一樣容易。
He said in the book that the manifestation of compassion from volunteers and nurses is not because of any "ulterior motive", but they couldn't do anything else.
他說，我們做義工的、做護士的，表現了這樣的慈悲，不是為了什麼隱藏的動機，而是我們不可能不這樣做。
He quoted such a moving story and I thank Avalokitesvara for making me able to read it:
他引用了這樣一個讓我震撼的故事（菩薩是如此慈悲，能將這樣的故事帶給我）：
An old man is trying to rescue a scorpion on a branch over a rapidly flowing river. Each time the scorpion stings him. A man on shore mocks him, saying "you stupid old man, you are risking your life trying to save a scorpion that might kill you!" The old man smiles and replies: "it's the scorpion's nature to sting, and it doesn't change my nature to save."
一個老人試圖去救一只困在橫在激流之上樹枝上的蠍子。但是每次他靠近蠍子，蠍子就蟄他。蠍子可是有毒的啊！岸上一個人就說，老頭兒，別幹傻事了，你想救它，它卻蟄你！老頭兒回答說：蠍子蟄人是出于它的天性，我救它是出于我的天性。
If you are asking for a story or a motto that can benefit our whole life, I would pick this story and this motto. As a practiioner on Mahayana's Bodhisattvas' Path, we got to help people find their true nature by getting free of greed, hatred and delusion!
如果一個故事、一句話能讓人終生受用，大概就是這個故事、這句話吧！大乘菩薩道行者，應該幫助人們去尋回天性！
Dr. Goldberg also quoted a sentence from Akong Tulku Rinpoche that "when we harm others we are harming ourselves; and when we take care of others, we are taking care of ourselves."
Goldberg 博士引用了阿貢仁波切（藏傳活佛）的一句話：when we harm others we are harming ourselves; and when we take care of others, we are taking care of ourselves.
The coming July 30th is Avalokiteshvara Bodhisattva's Day of Enlightenment and these stories and words are my gift to you, my fellow follower of the Bodhisattva, to contemplate and absorb.
7月30日是觀世音菩薩成道日，這兩段箴言值得每個觀世音菩薩的弟子去思索吸收。
Following comments of mine were posted in Facebook originally and is English/Chinese bi-lingual:
Some thoughts from reading the book "Lessions for the Living" by Dr. Stan Goldberg
慈悲與人 -- 讀Stan Goldberg的“Lessons for the Living”有感
Jewish Buddhist Dr. Goldberg is a San Francisco resident, who has been an active volunteer in hosptices for many years, taking care of those patients who would see the end of their life soon. 猶太人佛教徒Goldberg博士是舊金山居民。他主動擔任義工（志願者）去臨終關懷醫院（hospices）照顧瀕死病人。
To him, this has been an enlightening and spiritual experience. In the chapter about Compassion, he says Compassion is human beings' nature, which is often overshadowed by our ego. Once we got ourselves free of any ego based agenda, being compassionate is as easy as breathing.
對他而言，這一經歷是啟發性的（enlightening），是靈魂層次（spiritual）的。在講慈悲（compassion）的一章中，他提到，慈悲是人類的天性。只不過我們的天性被我執（ego）遮蓋了而已。他說，去除了我執，做一個慈悲的人就跟呼吸一樣容易。
He said in the book that the manifestation of compassion from volunteers and nurses is not because of any "ulterior motive", but they couldn't do anything else.
他說，我們做義工的、做護士的，表現了這樣的慈悲，不是為了什麼隱藏的動機，而是我們不可能不這樣做。
He quoted such a moving story and I thank Avalokitesvara for making me able to read it:
他引用了這樣一個讓我震撼的故事（菩薩是如此慈悲，能將這樣的故事帶給我）：
An old man is trying to rescue a scorpion on a branch over a rapidly flowing river. Each time the scorpion stings him. A man on shore mocks him, saying "you stupid old man, you are risking your life trying to save a scorpion that might kill you!" The old man smiles and replies: "it's the scorpion's nature to sting, and it doesn't change my nature to save."
一個老人試圖去救一只困在橫在激流之上樹枝上的蠍子。但是每次他靠近蠍子，蠍子就蟄他。蠍子可是有毒的啊！岸上一個人就說，老頭兒，別幹傻事了，你想救它，它卻蟄你！老頭兒回答說：蠍子蟄人是出于它的天性，我救它是出于我的天性。
If you are asking for a story or a motto that can benefit our whole life, I would pick this story and this motto. As a practiioner on Mahayana's Bodhisattvas' Path, we got to help people find their true nature by getting free of greed, hatred and delusion!
如果一個故事、一句話能讓人終生受用，大概就是這個故事、這句話吧！大乘菩薩道行者，應該幫助人們去尋回天性！
Dr. Goldberg also quoted a sentence from Akong Tulku Rinpoche that "when we harm others we are harming ourselves; and when we take care of others, we are taking care of ourselves."
Goldberg 博士引用了阿貢仁波切（藏傳活佛）的一句話：when we harm others we are harming ourselves; and when we take care of others, we are taking care of ourselves.
The coming July 30th is Avalokiteshvara Bodhisattva's Day of Enlightenment and these stories and words are my gift to you, my fellow follower of the Bodhisattva, to contemplate and absorb.
7月30日是觀世音菩薩成道日，這兩段箴言值得每個觀世音菩薩的弟子去思索吸收。
September 24, 2010
This book was useful as a preview of volunteering in a hospice and what I might expect. However, the author's revelations of how the experience changed him were a little hard to swallow because he claimed he had not known joy, pleasure, forgiveness or other basic human traits before. Although ostensibly self-revealing, I came to suspect his 'confessions' were exaggerated for a better story during the rewriting (he thanks his writer's group for reviewing drafts). I more value the stories of the patients which ring truer.
August 20, 2010
Nothin' like a few tears before bed. This book had some good life lessons and was very emotional and made me take a step back and realize and appreciate things a lot more. I like how it shows how both the hospice volunteer himself (though he's also dying) as well as the hospice patients benefits from his visits. Very eye opening.. but probably none of you ladie's cup o tea. :) I'm on this random life lesson kick now though...
April 28, 2025
Lições para a vida - Stan Goldberg
O objetivo da vida, e de viver, é estar consciente, alegre, embriagada, serena e divinamente consciente. Henry Miller
O objetivo da vida, e de viver, é estar consciente, alegre, embriagada, serena e divinamente consciente. Henry Miller
January 19, 2013
Terrific, quiet, funny, vulnerable, and compassionate, Goldberg's experiences as a hospice volunteer, and the wisdom he learned from the dying people he cared for, and how to live with his own diagnosis of prostate cancer, is highly recommended for individual and small group study, religious professionals, and those who are afraid of the dying and of terminal illness.
April 8, 2009
The author finds out he has a serious form of cancer, and this impels him to volunteer at a hospice to see what it's like to face death. What he discovers about dying will inspire the living. Not as depressing a book as it first appears, although there are definitely hard moments in the book.
December 10, 2011
Though I disagree with his religion, I found his advice very informative and helpful. My husband is on hospice with cancer. Hospice is wonderful. They do everything they can to make him more comfortable.
September 19, 2011
Awesome & inspirational!
April 4, 2017
This read is so timely as I prepare to visit my sister in law who is on her final journey after a four year battle with cancer. Stan Goldberg summarizes the salient points he had learnt as a hospice volunteer on how and what to do with terminally ill patients. It has taken the fear and uncertainty from me regarding how I should behave or what I should do around someone who is dying. A quote from the book : Are you afraid of dying? I don't think so, but I am not sure. But what's more important is that you and others have taught me how to live.
Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews