Ending

by Hilma Wolitzer

Hilma Wolitzer's acclaimed first novel--a powerful portrait of a family coming to terms with grief
At night, Sandy feels the pain of separation most deeply. As she settles into bed, she misses the sounds Jay used to make as he emptied his pockets and undressed. She misses the way a playful nighttime conversation could become significant in an instant. She misses his touch. To fall asleep, she imagines Jay's voice, imagines their loving exchanges--but she cannot imagine lying in his arms. Jay is in the hospital now, his body wasting away from cancer. As the disease progresses, he and Sandy try to come to terms with the fact that he will never come home again--and that his children will soon lose their father forever. Poignant and raw, Ending is a finely rendered look at love, loss, and survival. This ebook features an illustrated biography of Hilma Wolitzer, including rare photos and never-before-seen documents from the author's personal collection.

Genres: Fiction

First published January 1, 1974

About the author

Hilma Wolitzer (b. 1930) is a critically hailed author of literary fiction. She is a recipient of Guggenheim and National Endowment for the Arts fellowships, an American Academy of Arts and Letters Award in Literature, and a Barnes & Noble Writers for Writers Award. Her first short story appeared in print when she was thirty-six. Eight years later she published her first novel. Her novels and stories have drawn praise for illuminating the dark interiors of the American home. She lives in New York City.

Reviews

[Julie G · Rating 4 out of 5]

When I cracked open this used hardcover, I was greeted with a message written in hot pink marker: “Sheila C, Tennyson High, '78!”

I normally can't stand it when someone writes in books, but this cursive writing gave me pause. I thought about Sheila for a few minutes, thought, she was in high school and had possession of this book, four years after its publication? I felt as though I could see Sheila for a moment, saw a quick flash of her dark eyes, her Bonne Bell lip gloss (pink, of course), and her feathered hair sprayed in place with perfect punctuation marks of Aqua Net.

Oh, oh, Sheila. Here we go.

I wanted to know: what did a girl in high school think of this novel? What did a young woman make of a story where we learn, right in chapter one, that the main character's young husband, Jay, is in the hospital, dying of cancer?

What did Sheila think of Sandy, our young protagonist, and her handsome husband, Jay, who has cancer in his bone marrow?

I can't know, of course, and perhaps Sheila actually abandoned the book. I probably would have, in high school. When you are young and invincible, you don't spend too much time wondering what it might feel like to be a 32-year-old woman on the verge of both widowhood and single-parenting.

I'm not sure that any of us think of such things, unless the possibilities are placed before us, and I wondered, several times while I was reading this debut novel, why the 40-something Hilma Wolitzer chose to write about it. I wondered if she had witnessed such a journey.

This is a book about death. Jay's death. But, we barely get to know Jay in his hospital bed at all. It would be more appropriate to declare: this is a book about how a young woman deals with her husband's sudden illness and subsequent dying.

The writing is excellent, and I mean excellent. Even with so-so dialogue and the author's bizarre preoccupation with incest (there is no actual incest in the book, but the protagonist is almost obsessed with it), I read this novel in two days, as though the pages were on fire and only my eyes would put out the flames.

I'm not quite sure that a fiction writer ever helped me to understand anxiety better than I did here. I grew with this story, believe me. I experienced incredible insights, too, on marriage, infidelity, sleeplessness, parenting.

In short: this is the work of a savvy novelist who isn't afraid to stick her hands into the unknown, straight up to her elbows.

This is the New York City of the mid-1970s, and I could picture it so well (both the film, Kramer vs. Kramer, and Billy Joel's “Scenes from an Italian Restaurant” came to mind, while reading it).

This story took me places, and I dog-eared about seventeen pages.

It's about Ending, and beginning.

[Lisa · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 Stars rounded up

Wolitzer's novel published in 1974 opens, “I found myself lying in the middle of the bed on those strange new nights, like someone staking claim to territory in a wilderness." Sandy's 32 year-old husband is in the hospital, dying with cancer. Ending takes us on Sandy's journey through questioning the future and her grief during this time period.

Anyone who has loved someone knows something about loss. Wolitzer knows that it's the everyday things we miss the most, like the whispered conversations before falling asleep at night and the smell of the other person when they hug you. (When my maternal grandmother died in 2001, I smuggled her pillowcase out of the hospital just to hold onto her scent.) Sandy has a short period to adjust to Jay's absence at home while spending time with him in the hospital.

One question Wolitzer raises is when to tell the patient that his condition is terminal. In the 1970's the practice was to whithhold this information from the patient until it became unavoidable. The thought was that the patient would hold onto hope. What a great disservice! My paternal grandmother died in 1974. The doctor kept telling her that she was going to get better, though the whole family knew she would not. At some point she began yelling at everyone to just tell her the truth. By the time my dad was diagnosed with cancer in 2004, attitudes had changed. His doc explained to him the extent of his cancer, how it had metastasized, and an idea of how long he would have to still feel pretty good. This gave him time to take a bucket list trip, to spend time on his horse, to ensure time with his loved ones, to conclude unfinished business (emotional and financial), and to set his affairs in order.

Wolitzer tells the tale of Sandy navigating this time interspersed with scenes from their marriage and stories of their childhoods. I get a well rounded understanding of Sandy and Jay. Though a sad tale, Wolitzer writes a life-affirming story with moments of joy and flashes of humor.

Wolitzer's writing in her debut is good. By the time she gets to her 3rd adult novel (which I finished reading just before this one https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...) it is superb.

And the tale ends as it begins, Sandy ". . . lay down on the bed, the only place where it was possible to begin."

[Bonnie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Hilma Wolitzer is one of my favorite authors. This one is tough because it's about the terminal illness and death of her husband at a young age. However, Wolitzer is able to make it more than unrelenting horror and grief. It's a moving portrait of a marriage and a family that ended way too soon.

[Marianne · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is listed as a novel, but I can’t help wonder how much is based on reality. I find it hard to believe that the author was able to bring the reader into the experience without having experienced it herself in real life.

Having worked in a personal care home at one point, I have watched families deal with palliative care and watching their loved ones die. I cannot imagine the pain of having to leave a suffering family member behind for weeks on end while attempting to carry on one’s life as if nothing is wrong. The author did an amazing job putting the reader in the position where they can experience of dealing with the realities a dying partner, especially when there are children involved.

While every grieves differently, grief in itself is the same for everyone and the author gets that message across very clearly in this compassionate love story.

Marianne Curtis
Author
Finding Gloria

[Kerry · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found this a heart wrenching story that has been beautifully crafted. The story had me from the get go and the characters were all too real and very believable. It is a poignant book about facing the death of a loved one that leaves you feeling emotional and raw. I sat for some time at several keys points of the story and contemplated the plight of the characters and compared it to my experience of the death of a loved one. The author draws you into the story so beautifully. I had not heard of Hilma Wolitzer before reading this book. I am eagerly looking forward to reading more.

[Cynthia (Bingeing On Books) · Rating 2 out of 5]

I'm not really sure why this book got such good reviews. The fact that a man is dying of cancer doesn't make it well written. Honestly, there was not much emotion and it was kind of boring. There were a few parts that were sad, such as when the wife is talking about how much she misses him being in bed with her. But all in all, I just read it because I hate leaving books unfinished. I didn't really care much about the characters. Not a very good book.

[Kerry · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found this a heart wrenching story that has been beautifully crafted. The story had me from the get go and the characters were all too real and very believable. It is a poignant book about facing the death of a loved one that leaves you feeling emotional and raw. I sat for some time at several keys points of the story and contemplated the plight of the characters and compared it to my experience of the death of a loved one. The author draws you into the story so beautifully. I had not heard of Hilma Wolitzer before reading this book. I am eagerly looking forward to reading more.

[Linda · Rating 4 out of 5]

The newly married groom learns he's dying. Tearjerker!

[Dawn Poole · Rating 2 out of 5]

I thought that I enjoyed stories that were simply “slice of life“ but I think that I actually need a little bit more. This woman’s experience of the last several weeks of her husbands life didn’t move me at all. I wouldn’t even say that it was an enjoyable read in anyway. Perhaps as I digest it in the next few days, I’ll realize that I got something more from it than a way to pass the time, but I think what is more likely to happen is that I will completely forget that I even read this book. I have tried reading another book by this author, but I just don’t like the way she writes dialogue.

[Ronalee · Rating 3 out of 5]

1970s setting is what stood out to me the most in this story of a wife dealing with her young husbands cancer diagnosis and death. Children were not allowed in the hospital and had no car seats.