All the Natalie Portmans

by C.A. Johnson

Sixteen-year-old Keyonna and her older brother Samuel live on the brink of eviction while dreaming of a better tomorrow. Too smart, "too gay" and too lonely to fit in, Keyonna escapes into a world of rom coms, red carpets and all the iconic characters played by her muse, Natalie Portman. But when "all the Natalie Portmans" start talking back to her, Keyonna finally has to face her off-screen drama in this imaginative new play that reminds us to embrace life on the ground while still reaching for the stars.

Genres: Plays, Theatre

136 pages, Paperback

Published November 30, 2022

Reviews

[Doug · Rating 3 out of 5]

For a debut play, I would say this falls into the category of 'promising' - but not quite there yet. Most of it is - as one critic put it, a fairly standard 'broken kitchen-sink' drama, with nothing terribly new or exciting about it; the one rather unique element - the fact the protagonist holds conversations with a certain Academy Award-winning actress - is not really integrated well into the proceedings, and makes little objective sense (not to mention the play takes place in 2009, and though Natalie's first appearance is as her 'Black Swan' character, that film didn't even come out till 2010!). Worse, 16-year-old Keyonna is just coming to terms with her burgeoning lesbianism - but other than a few cursory mentions of that fact, it doesn't really make much of an impact. Still, it will be interesting to see where Johnson heads next.

https://www.nytimes.com/2020/02/25/th...
https://www.timeout.com/newyork/theat...

[Lex Joyce · Rating 3 out of 5]

All The Natalie Portmans falls a little bit under the weight of expectation. Its synopsis sets up a play far weirder and whackier than what it actually is, which at time feels like another melodramatic kitchen sink drama. The Natalie Portman moments, at least on the page, are few ans far between and you can’t help but miss them when they’re not there (I can imagine they feel a little more prominant on stage). But with that said, for ‘just a kitchen sink drama’ its a good one. C.A. Johnson’s writing is lovely and Keyonna is just a compelling protagonist. Its a story about escapism and the power we find in the media we consume - any queer person has been Keyonna and for that I’d recommend this play!

[Gabriel Armstrong · Rating 3 out of 5]

A little disappointed that a play in which the main character hallucinates Natalie Portman didn’t lean into the weirdness/absurdism of that and fully embed her into the plot in a way that felt meaningful until the final quarter, but this play was very sweet and I was sold by the ending.

[Devyn Itula · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was expecting more like a good read and I understand what it was trying to accomplish but it just didn’t wow as I thought it was going to

[Stuart · Rating 4 out of 5]

There is so much to love in this play, except, sadly, the entire concept of the Natalie Portman character, who is never allowed to have anything like a third dimension, though there are implications that she might have a conflicted relationship with being the fantasy projection of the main character. Sadly, she remains a gimmick that would be better off undramatized, as the only truly important part is that Keyonna, the heroine, looks to Natalie as a symbol of everything she wants, and doesn't think she will ever get, and this is adequately demonstrated by her celebrity wall. In conversations with her alcoholic mother, sexuality questioning friend Chantal, and loving caretaker brother Samuel, we find revealed a young woman who is both stronger than she should have to be, and more vulnerable than she wants to be. As the textures of the relationships that form the web of conflicts in the play are revealed, there is ultimately a tale of resilience here that is hard not to be inspired by, even if the title character's exit somehow feels like an anticlimax rather than a coda.

[Cassidy Monti · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 made me cry (would love to play natalie portman next year wmu...)

[Will Farris · Rating 4 out of 5]

I absolutely loved act one. I thought act two really dragged on, but I really liked the characters. I wish this show was produced more in regional theatres.

[Dayna Cheatham · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5⭐️

[Arden Wolfe · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow wow wow. REALLY ORIGINAL PLAY. Wish I saw this at MCC :(