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Cómo Criar a un Niño de Voluntad Firme
¿Hay un tesorito obstinado que le está haciendo perder los estribos? ¿Se esta preguntando dónde falló como padre o madre?
Tal vez usted tenga un hijo o hija de voluntad firme...
Entran al mundo como si fueran los dueños de el, y quejándose a todo pulmón de la temperatura en la sala de partos. Cuando comienzan a caminar, sus mayores placeres incluyen pintar la alfombra con el maquillaje de mamá y tratar de pasar al gato por el inodoro. Cuando llegan a la adolescencia, son irritables, obstinados y parecen estar empeñados en desafiar todas las formas de autoridad.
A pesar de todo el desafío que representa criar a un hijo de voluntad firme, estos niños pueden llegar a ser hombres y mujeres de carácter fuerte, si se les guía con amor, comprensión y la disciplina adecuada.
En esta nueva edición de Cómo Criar a un Niño de Voluntad Firme, el Dr. James Dobson ofrece pautas prácticas para la crianza de estos manojos de energía, basándose en la investigación actual y en sus años de experiencia aconsejando a familias.
Infórmese sobre lo que dice la autoridad de mayor confianza en los Estados Unidos en cuanto a:
* Qué es lo que hace que los niños de voluntad firme sean como son.
* Cómo darle forma a la voluntad a la vez que se protege el espíritu.
* Cómo evitar el error más común en la crianza de estos niños.
* Cómo disciplinar a un niño de voluntad firme.
* La rivalidad entre hermanos.
* Los adolescentes de voluntad firme.
* Los niños de voluntad firme y el IDAH (trastorno por déficit de atención e hiperactividad).
Si se siente frustrado y desalentado al tratar con un pequeño obstinado, fuera de control y que lo desafía, no se desanime. El Dr. Dobson y la nueva edición de Cómo Criar a un Niño de Voluntad Firme le brindaran la ayuda que necesita.
Tal vez usted tenga un hijo o hija de voluntad firme...
Entran al mundo como si fueran los dueños de el, y quejándose a todo pulmón de la temperatura en la sala de partos. Cuando comienzan a caminar, sus mayores placeres incluyen pintar la alfombra con el maquillaje de mamá y tratar de pasar al gato por el inodoro. Cuando llegan a la adolescencia, son irritables, obstinados y parecen estar empeñados en desafiar todas las formas de autoridad.
A pesar de todo el desafío que representa criar a un hijo de voluntad firme, estos niños pueden llegar a ser hombres y mujeres de carácter fuerte, si se les guía con amor, comprensión y la disciplina adecuada.
En esta nueva edición de Cómo Criar a un Niño de Voluntad Firme, el Dr. James Dobson ofrece pautas prácticas para la crianza de estos manojos de energía, basándose en la investigación actual y en sus años de experiencia aconsejando a familias.
Infórmese sobre lo que dice la autoridad de mayor confianza en los Estados Unidos en cuanto a:
* Qué es lo que hace que los niños de voluntad firme sean como son.
* Cómo darle forma a la voluntad a la vez que se protege el espíritu.
* Cómo evitar el error más común en la crianza de estos niños.
* Cómo disciplinar a un niño de voluntad firme.
* La rivalidad entre hermanos.
* Los adolescentes de voluntad firme.
* Los niños de voluntad firme y el IDAH (trastorno por déficit de atención e hiperactividad).
Si se siente frustrado y desalentado al tratar con un pequeño obstinado, fuera de control y que lo desafía, no se desanime. El Dr. Dobson y la nueva edición de Cómo Criar a un Niño de Voluntad Firme le brindaran la ayuda que necesita.
259 pages, Paperback
First published February 1, 1978
1383 people are currently reading
3248 people want to read
About the author
James C. Dobson
253 books376 followersA licensed psychologist and marriage, family, and child counselor, Dr. James Dobson was a clinical member of the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy. For 14 years Dr. Dobson was an associate clinical professor of pediatrics at the University of Southern California School of Medicine, and he served for 17 years on the attending staff of Children's Hospital Los Angeles in the Division of Child Development and Medical Genetics. He earned a Ph.D. from the University of Southern California (1967) in the field of child development.
He was the author of more than 50 books, including The New Dare to Discipline, The New Strong-Willed Child, When God Doesn't Make Sense, Night Light: A Devotional for Couples, Bringing Up Boys, and the New York Times bestseller Bringing Up Girls .
Heavily involved in influencing governmental policies related to the family, Dr. Dobson was appointed by President Ronald Reagan to the National Advisory Commission to the Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention. He also served on the Attorney General's Advisory Board on Missing and Exploited Children, the Department of Health and Human Services' Panel on Teen Pregnancy Prevention, and the Commission on Child and Family Welfare. He was elected in 2008 to the National Radio Hall of Fame, and in 2009 received the Ronald Reagan Lifetime Achievement Award.
He was the author of more than 50 books, including The New Dare to Discipline, The New Strong-Willed Child, When God Doesn't Make Sense, Night Light: A Devotional for Couples, Bringing Up Boys, and the New York Times bestseller Bringing Up Girls .
Heavily involved in influencing governmental policies related to the family, Dr. Dobson was appointed by President Ronald Reagan to the National Advisory Commission to the Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention. He also served on the Attorney General's Advisory Board on Missing and Exploited Children, the Department of Health and Human Services' Panel on Teen Pregnancy Prevention, and the Commission on Child and Family Welfare. He was elected in 2008 to the National Radio Hall of Fame, and in 2009 received the Ronald Reagan Lifetime Achievement Award.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 461 reviews
January 22, 2013
Throughout most of this book, I found it difficult to distinguish between Dobson's discipline strategy and child abuse. In the first chapter he describes his love for his dachshund dog, Siggie, and his method of getting Siggie to go into his pen which involved threatening the dog with a belt. (He draws an analogy between disciplining a dog and disciplining a child - not that, in my view, using a belt is justifiable in either case). In chapter 6, Dobson recommends a way of getting a child's obedience "There is a muscle lying snugly against the base of the neck. Anatomy books list it as the trapezius muscle, and when firmly squeezed, it sends little messengers to the brain saying, "This hurts: Avoid recurrence at all costs." The pain is only temporary; it can cause no damage the way I am suggesting its use. But it is amazingly effective and practical recourse for parents when their youngster ignores a direct command to move". (p95-96). How completely irresponsible - I can imagine getting a call from the teacher at school telling me my child is trying to strangle another child (- hmmm I wonder where he got that move from!) As the mother of a strong-willed toddler, I believe that the worst thing you can do to a strong-willed child is to hurt them in any way. He has completely misunderstood his subject-matter.
Dobson's book is also written in a spirit that left me feeling disturbed. The parent-child relationship is described in adversarial terms. He uses words like "brattish" to describe a strong-willed child. He speaks about corporal punishment with a sense of relish and it seems to be the primary message of the book. (The last 3 chapters appear to be compassionately written, but on the last page or 2 of the book, he includes a letter from a reader that suggests he didn't go far enough with corporal punishment. (And there I was thinking we had left this miserable topic behind!)). The most disturbing part of the book was the way he tried to link it to an understanding of God, as a discipline strategy befitting of the Creator and yet he mentions that he is not a theologian, but makes theological statements throughout! I found it difficult to connect his overall discipline strategy with my Christian faith.
I bought the book blindly, not knowing anything about the author or his strategy as I wanted at least to consider different ideas about discipline rather than go with the Sears' approach as if that were the only way. At some points I had to return to Sears (The Book of Discipline) whilst reading this book, because the book made me so angry and frustrated, I needed an injection of something positive. The difference in spirit with which both books were written couldn't be more obvious. Both are written by Christians, yet Sears' book was written in a spirit of love, understanding and intelligence, Dobson's in a spirit of self-righteousness, effectiveness and adversary. In chapter 3, it is apparent that Dobson feels uncomfortable with the positive parenting approach because he cannot effectively and intelligently argue against it. He simply quotes a colleague's expression that it is "horse manure" (p45), which is disrespectful to the reader who remains completely unenlightened.
There were a few points he made that I did find helpful: the idea of balancing love and control, the idea that to love somebody is to give them freedom and he includes a compassionate chapter on ADHD.
The decision I am left with now is whether to throw the book down the rubbish chute, burn it, give it to my strong-willed child to destroy or hide it on my book shelf and let my child read it as an adult and let him appreciate that his mum didn't follow the advice inside.
Dobson's book is also written in a spirit that left me feeling disturbed. The parent-child relationship is described in adversarial terms. He uses words like "brattish" to describe a strong-willed child. He speaks about corporal punishment with a sense of relish and it seems to be the primary message of the book. (The last 3 chapters appear to be compassionately written, but on the last page or 2 of the book, he includes a letter from a reader that suggests he didn't go far enough with corporal punishment. (And there I was thinking we had left this miserable topic behind!)). The most disturbing part of the book was the way he tried to link it to an understanding of God, as a discipline strategy befitting of the Creator and yet he mentions that he is not a theologian, but makes theological statements throughout! I found it difficult to connect his overall discipline strategy with my Christian faith.
I bought the book blindly, not knowing anything about the author or his strategy as I wanted at least to consider different ideas about discipline rather than go with the Sears' approach as if that were the only way. At some points I had to return to Sears (The Book of Discipline) whilst reading this book, because the book made me so angry and frustrated, I needed an injection of something positive. The difference in spirit with which both books were written couldn't be more obvious. Both are written by Christians, yet Sears' book was written in a spirit of love, understanding and intelligence, Dobson's in a spirit of self-righteousness, effectiveness and adversary. In chapter 3, it is apparent that Dobson feels uncomfortable with the positive parenting approach because he cannot effectively and intelligently argue against it. He simply quotes a colleague's expression that it is "horse manure" (p45), which is disrespectful to the reader who remains completely unenlightened.
There were a few points he made that I did find helpful: the idea of balancing love and control, the idea that to love somebody is to give them freedom and he includes a compassionate chapter on ADHD.
The decision I am left with now is whether to throw the book down the rubbish chute, burn it, give it to my strong-willed child to destroy or hide it on my book shelf and let my child read it as an adult and let him appreciate that his mum didn't follow the advice inside.
August 23, 2016
Be careful when reading "authoritative" books on the subject of parenting. Just because a person is a Christian minister does NOT mean he is an expert in child-rearing.
My husband and I were very young when we read this book. We were parents to three young children. We followed this book like gospel, including the sections on corporal punishment, even when our inner conscience rebelled. Because, of course, James Dobson was an eminent Christian Authority.
He was wrong. For our children, he was wrong. And our family paid a huge price in damaged relationships that have taken years to recover from. Jesus told us that the kingdom of God is within us. He will guide us in the appropriate means for guiding the children he blessed us with. We do not need a Bible of child rearing. It's in our hearts.
My husband and I were very young when we read this book. We were parents to three young children. We followed this book like gospel, including the sections on corporal punishment, even when our inner conscience rebelled. Because, of course, James Dobson was an eminent Christian Authority.
He was wrong. For our children, he was wrong. And our family paid a huge price in damaged relationships that have taken years to recover from. Jesus told us that the kingdom of God is within us. He will guide us in the appropriate means for guiding the children he blessed us with. We do not need a Bible of child rearing. It's in our hearts.
December 18, 2016
Probably not a book for everyone, but definitely some good pointers on approaching a strong willed child. I know some people go for a more hands off approach to child raising and this book promotes a much more involved and stricter approach if your child is strong willed. If you don't like the idea of a suggestion that you might need to lay down the law, then this book will frustrate you.
But if you need some help, are at your wits end, and don't know where to turn, this is a good place to start. It helps you realize that you are not alone, not every child is the same, and no one is perfect.
But if you need some help, are at your wits end, and don't know where to turn, this is a good place to start. It helps you realize that you are not alone, not every child is the same, and no one is perfect.
January 5, 2011
I checked this book out at the library (not knowing who James Dobson is -- or rather, having forgotten who he is) under the impression that it was about raising the spirited child in a supportive manner. What I got was a training manual for raising an unhappy, demoralized, spiritually broken child. Ugh. You don't tame wild horses by beating them with a stick, and you don't calm small children by beating them over the head with religion. I feel terribly sorry for all the kids who are raised under this advise (and their parents who will also have to deal with the repercussions).
February 12, 2008
This book tortured me in childhood and then it just enraged me as an adult...this man's control issues are so profound and so ungodly...iron fisted rule is used instead of thought and logic and kindness. And his devotees continue to grow...that's the worst part.
March 7, 2013
I strongly disagree with much of this book. I do believe you need to teach your children respect, but you can't do that without showing them respect. Hitting them with a belt, switch, or wooden spoon will not show them how to be respectful. I thoroughly read his anti-spanking rebuttals and they did not change any of my thoughts on the subject. I have six children who have a very wide range of personalities and differ greatly in their level of compliance, but they should still be a part of the family and not someone I am trying to force to do MY will. I agree that children show many different personalities and varying degrees of compliance at a very young age, but certainly would never slap a 9-month-old and I think parents who "knew" their child was "strong-willed" before they were even born were setting themselves up to treat that child in a manner where they would feed off of that attitude. Even if you have to fake it at times, you should still try to maintain a positive outlook toward your children or they will pick up on your attitude very quickly and then you get stuck on a slippery slope as you feed off one another. I wonder if this man even likes children at all!! I would not have finished this book had we not been reading it for our book club and I wanted to see it improve as I read further. It didn't.
March 30, 2016
I originally read this when I was 11 years old, and promptly discovered why my parents had bought the book. >.> It was all about me.
It led to something of a conscience awakening that I was approaching anyway. None the less, I appreciated how my willful motivations were pointed out and explained--not vilified. I responded well to the recommended structure and parental consistency because I perceived it as fair and was glad to know what to expect. To be honest, it was when my parents forgot to discipline with the book's recommended calmness and explanations(i.e. out of frustration and anger) that I had lingering emotional damage or what could be called a 'bad experience.' Of course, after reading this book, I became the child that could point out to them this failure to follow procedure. >.<
I've read a few distressing reviews of people who claimed to have been parented under this book's suggestions, but I don't see evidence that they themselves have actually read the book. They may have been exposed to some perverse out-of-context experience or saw the book on the shelf of an abusive parent, but this supposed 'spirit-crushing' has absolutely nothing to do with this book. I'm sorry for those who associate it with some sort of physical or emotional mistreatment. It's been my observation that just about anything good can be abused or misused in the wrong hands.
I wouldn't call this edition the ultimate parenting authority by any means, but it had some worthwhile concepts to offer in its day. I actually would recommend 'The New Dare To Discipline' book over this one, as I believe it offered a better defining of the difference between Discipline and Punishment. Ultimately, one needs to take into account that every child is different, and parents need to take the time to assess their needs and motivations individually. One book is not going to amount to a parenting silver bullet. However hard you would study for a career or a college degree, you ought to be investing at least that much effort into learning how to effectively rear children!
February 14, 2011
I can't support this author's views on several topics, and don't agree with his condemnation of positive parenting. I believe in redirecting children when they don't know better, but of course as children's understanding increases, so also does their responsibility for their actions.
I got 25% into the book and had to stop reading. I've requested a refund as I can't support this author's views.
I got 25% into the book and had to stop reading. I've requested a refund as I can't support this author's views.
November 13, 2014
I honestly can't believe this book is still around & being recommended. I found the author's discipline to be very outdated and bordering on abusive. One example of many: "There is a muscle lying snugly against the base of the neck. Anatomy books list it as the trapezius muscle, and when firmly squeezed, it sends little messengers to the brain saying, "This hurts: Avoid recurrence at all costs." The pain is only temporary; it can cause no damage the way I am suggesting its use. But it is amazingly effective and practical recourse for parents when their youngster ignores a direct command to move". (p95-96) So I'm supposed to PINCH my child when they don't listen?? That's the kind of behavior I'm trying to teach her NOT to do! This book is almost the opposite of what I think good parenting is. Very disappointing.
November 9, 2012
This is the first book that I thought should be burned - really. I don't want to keep it, but I don't want it to get in the hands of anyone else. The book goes into detail of the best technique for spanking your child with biblical verses to back it up. I was actually embarrassed to be reading this book on the train - that someone might see me reading the book. DO NOT BUY THIS BOOK!!
August 8, 2010
Over the years, this book has been unfairly maligned. The new edition, especially, is as clear as can be that spanking should only be used in love, without anger, and in very specific circumstances. It also includes facts from scientific studies to back up spanking. (Hint: There's absolutely no proof that spanking causes violent behavior in kids!) But this book is about so much more than spanking. (The topic of spanking doesn't even cover a full chapter!) If your kids are out of control or you have a clearly strong-willed child, this classic is a must read.
August 18, 2009
Seriously, I just sort of glanced through this one, but it really turned me off. When the author starts the book by referring to children as being bratty and then devotes an entire chapter to how to use corporal punishment correctly, I am just not cool with that.
December 4, 2015
I stopped reading this book right after the story of Siggi the dog. If he treats his dogs as he describes there is nothing he can tell me about raising children. Poor Siggi!!!
January 13, 2017
This book is hot garbage. It flies in the face of empirically based psychological science and basically tells you to spank your kids and pray about them. Science has proven hitting/spanking/whipping children makes them more aggressive, not more compliant. I can't imagine the psychological damage this book has done.
May 31, 2015
I didn't finish the book. Pretty well from the get-go I was appalled that Dr. Dobson administered punishment to a beloved family pet via his belt but it should have been my first warning. The rest of the book (I made it to Chapter 7) continued to reaffirm that if parents simply physically harm their children (all the while reminding them that they are well-loved) then those manipulative, bratty, willful children will surely abide by their parents' rule.
It's clear that Dr. Dobson has no knowledge of psychiatry or neurology and very little understanding of how a young child's manner and neurosis develop. He quite accurately describes a household in which children behave out of fear of corporal punishment, and while some may have no issue slapping their children's hands repeatedly, or administering spankings at the slightest infraction, I'm less willing. Just because it's in the Bible doesn't make it right.
I'll stick to Dr. Sears.
It's clear that Dr. Dobson has no knowledge of psychiatry or neurology and very little understanding of how a young child's manner and neurosis develop. He quite accurately describes a household in which children behave out of fear of corporal punishment, and while some may have no issue slapping their children's hands repeatedly, or administering spankings at the slightest infraction, I'm less willing. Just because it's in the Bible doesn't make it right.
I'll stick to Dr. Sears.
June 3, 2015
Someone recently told me to read this book. This has to be a joke. Corporal punishment and the fear of God...you have got to be kidding me. The lazy way of parenting it should be called. Stick with love and logic!
January 11, 2020
This didn't specifical address how to deal with strong willed children, or really with any child outside of spanking them. That was all this book was, a case for and how to guide for spanking. Very bible heavy with very little practical information.
February 17, 2025
I knew about this book when our children were growing up but did not think they were strong-willed enough to warrant it. However, after reading Dr. Dobson’s book now that I’m a grandmother, I think ALL parents could benefit from Dr. Dobson’s advice whatever ‘type’ of child(ren) they have, strong-willed, compliant, both or mixed—if humble enough to listen. Did I agree with everything he wrote? No, but I think I was more receptive to him at my age than I would have been when I was a young mother. He made many good points and there was a proliferation of tips for war-weary parents of young ones and teens especially.
My favorite parts of the book were the stories and the question-and-answer sections. Learning about other parents struggles helped me to see that many families struggle with obstinate children and these little darlings wreak havoc on all those around them. In fact, many have it far worse than I ever imagined, and his principles have been literal Godsends over many years now.
I also appreciated Dr. Dobson’s honesty and openness in sharing his personal story when a rebellious teen and the sacrificial gift his parents made to help turn his life around. If there was one thing which sold me on him and his message, it was that! Having caused my own poor parents much anxiety during my teen years I have great respect for those willing to share their stories publicly that young people many learn that they too can recover from youthful mistakes and go on to successful lives.
Overall, a very positive, uplifting book. 4.5 stars
I was listening to this yesterday and laughing out loud. Eventually I had to go into the room to where my husband was to explain what was so funny. I told him it was the opening dialogues where several mothers and a couple of daughters shared their stories. (O my what things little ones can get into!) Although I knew that both of our daughters were strong-willed, I never thought their wills were strong enough to merit me getting/needing this book, i.e., I figured this was for people with really 'bad' kids. Now I see that ALL parents could benefit from reading this, even those with mild-mannered compliant "good" children, which ours weren't by any means, although they have grown up to be lovely young women who my husband and I are terribly proud of, though we know the credit goes mostly to God and them. Still, we were glad to be witnesses on the journey with them.
I am reading/listening to a kindle copy and have bought a paper copy for my one daughter who has a rather rambunctious little one. Mimi thinks she is practically perfect, but then grandmas never see any faults in their grandchildren. 😉🥰 Don't you believe it! She is ... well she is herself!
My favorite parts of the book were the stories and the question-and-answer sections. Learning about other parents struggles helped me to see that many families struggle with obstinate children and these little darlings wreak havoc on all those around them. In fact, many have it far worse than I ever imagined, and his principles have been literal Godsends over many years now.
I also appreciated Dr. Dobson’s honesty and openness in sharing his personal story when a rebellious teen and the sacrificial gift his parents made to help turn his life around. If there was one thing which sold me on him and his message, it was that! Having caused my own poor parents much anxiety during my teen years I have great respect for those willing to share their stories publicly that young people many learn that they too can recover from youthful mistakes and go on to successful lives.
Overall, a very positive, uplifting book. 4.5 stars
I was listening to this yesterday and laughing out loud. Eventually I had to go into the room to where my husband was to explain what was so funny. I told him it was the opening dialogues where several mothers and a couple of daughters shared their stories. (O my what things little ones can get into!) Although I knew that both of our daughters were strong-willed, I never thought their wills were strong enough to merit me getting/needing this book, i.e., I figured this was for people with really 'bad' kids. Now I see that ALL parents could benefit from reading this, even those with mild-mannered compliant "good" children, which ours weren't by any means, although they have grown up to be lovely young women who my husband and I are terribly proud of, though we know the credit goes mostly to God and them. Still, we were glad to be witnesses on the journey with them.
I am reading/listening to a kindle copy and have bought a paper copy for my one daughter who has a rather rambunctious little one. Mimi thinks she is practically perfect, but then grandmas never see any faults in their grandchildren. 😉🥰 Don't you believe it! She is ... well she is herself!
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June 7, 2021Sadistic Evangelicalism at it's worst.
“Child abuse is still sanctioned — indeed, held in high regard — in our society as long as it is defined as child-rearing. It is a tragic fact that parents beat their children in order to escape the emotions from how they were treated by their own parents.”
― Alice Miller, The Drama of the Gifted Child: The Search for the True Self
“Child abuse is still sanctioned — indeed, held in high regard — in our society as long as it is defined as child-rearing. It is a tragic fact that parents beat their children in order to escape the emotions from how they were treated by their own parents.”
― Alice Miller, The Drama of the Gifted Child: The Search for the True Self
September 13, 2017
Any parenting book that includes a chapter on the benefits of corporal punishment should actually receive negative stars.
January 15, 2014
Dr. Dobson and I share Faith but not politics, so I opened this book with some a degree of skepticism. The opening story explaining a time that he hit his dog didn't help my trepidation! I'm glad, however, that I stuck with it.
Critically, there was a lot of discussion centering on spanking. My guess is that it comes up so often not just because Dr. Dobson supports it but also since so many people are critical of it that he felt compelled to offer arguments for it throughout the book. I'm not quite convinced about the value of corporal punishment, but it did make me aware of the significance of dealing with willful defiance quickly and decisively.
Another important takeaway is balancing discipline while cultivating a child's spirit. Dr. Dobson was careful to make this distinction wherever possible and impress the importance of the relationship between the will and spirit. I expected a "spare the rod spoil the child" tome but instead found a nuanced view of parenting that both instills values while also empowering children to grow into fully functioning adults.
Critically, there was a lot of discussion centering on spanking. My guess is that it comes up so often not just because Dr. Dobson supports it but also since so many people are critical of it that he felt compelled to offer arguments for it throughout the book. I'm not quite convinced about the value of corporal punishment, but it did make me aware of the significance of dealing with willful defiance quickly and decisively.
Another important takeaway is balancing discipline while cultivating a child's spirit. Dr. Dobson was careful to make this distinction wherever possible and impress the importance of the relationship between the will and spirit. I expected a "spare the rod spoil the child" tome but instead found a nuanced view of parenting that both instills values while also empowering children to grow into fully functioning adults.
March 9, 2014
Too much religion. Too much into the idea of corporal punishment using paddles or switches or belts. Just about tossed the book out the window when he spoke of smacking his doxie with a belt.
Took very few ideas out of this book.
Definitely still looking for a book to help with a strong willed 10 year old.
Took very few ideas out of this book.
Definitely still looking for a book to help with a strong willed 10 year old.
June 22, 2009
I can not believe I read this entire book. It's Focus on the Family. It's anti-John Holt (while an unschooler, I was never an apostle anyway). It details all the different ways in which you should spank your child. It manages to mention homosexuality as a sign of the collapse of good values. However, it was perhaps the first parenting book I've read that acknowledges that not all kids will respond the same way to the same methods, that natural consequences don't always do the trick, and that no matter how consistent, kind, and reasonable you are some children will engage in a battle of wills and when that happens you better win.
It brings out the point that with some children, reasoning with your child and using every non-violent technique you can think of you are more likely to end the hours of turmoil in an angry explosion and repeat scenes and potentially child abuse than if instead you set clear boundaries and impart an initial swat on the butt.
Dobson is actually really reasonable. He talks about parenting with love and humor; about giving children opportunities to exercise independence; using an awareness of developmental and individual capabilities and limitations; having realistic expectations of children; giving kids respect, responsibility, and accountability; and discipline.
If you can filter out the sexism, the Bible quotes and Christianity (assuming you aren't Christian), and the occasional rant about the state of the world, there is good advice to be had in here. I think I actually did need to read this sort of advice about now.
It brings out the point that with some children, reasoning with your child and using every non-violent technique you can think of you are more likely to end the hours of turmoil in an angry explosion and repeat scenes and potentially child abuse than if instead you set clear boundaries and impart an initial swat on the butt.
Dobson is actually really reasonable. He talks about parenting with love and humor; about giving children opportunities to exercise independence; using an awareness of developmental and individual capabilities and limitations; having realistic expectations of children; giving kids respect, responsibility, and accountability; and discipline.
If you can filter out the sexism, the Bible quotes and Christianity (assuming you aren't Christian), and the occasional rant about the state of the world, there is good advice to be had in here. I think I actually did need to read this sort of advice about now.
September 6, 2012
I'm not quite sure why Dr. Dobson gets such flak from reviewers. His approach to discipline is sensical and very applicable to every-day life. He does not advocate child abuse! This book is great for any parent: of a strong-willed child or not. It addresses things like a child's precious spirit (not breaking it) and his strong will (shaping it) and the parent's responsibility in both. His chapter on corporeal punishment in this book in particular is the best I've read yet. He delineates between physical abuse and spankings, has harsh words for those who whack out of anger or without love and/or self-control, and offers practical suggestions for corporeal discipline, along with a wonderful prescription for what every parent should make part of his routine when disciplining (whether with spanking or not):
1. Truth brought forth in love.
2. Confession by the guilty party.
3. Forgiveness by the parent who is responsible for the discipline;
4. Resolution for the original problem;
5. [and] Assurance of continuity of love.
He presents a very good argument and counter-argument section for parents who want to weigh both sides of the spanking issue, or need help articulating their reasons for spanking. This book, along with The New Dare to Discipline, and Bringing Up Boys/Girls, are great parenting books to have on your shelf. Dobson is not the end-all-be-all, but I sure am glad I started with him. It's good foundational reading to be supplemented with others.
1. Truth brought forth in love.
2. Confession by the guilty party.
3. Forgiveness by the parent who is responsible for the discipline;
4. Resolution for the original problem;
5. [and] Assurance of continuity of love.
He presents a very good argument and counter-argument section for parents who want to weigh both sides of the spanking issue, or need help articulating their reasons for spanking. This book, along with The New Dare to Discipline, and Bringing Up Boys/Girls, are great parenting books to have on your shelf. Dobson is not the end-all-be-all, but I sure am glad I started with him. It's good foundational reading to be supplemented with others.
May 23, 2010
When you have a strong-willed child, everyone asks you whether you have read The Strong-Willed Child. I wanted to like it. I expected to like it. I even agreed with much of it. But I found it marvelously unhelpful. Lots of meandering stories, a somewhat condescending tone (are you talking to me or my four-year-old?), and fairly vague advice. I think the problem is that I don't think I'm really his audience. The book seemed to be a reaction to a parent who has bought into the permissive parenting movement. I will say that it did strengthen my resolve to keep the leash short and set out to win. The problem is that "winning" is never as cut and dry and neat as Dobson seems to imply. Now I remember why I haven't read a whole lot of parenting books lately. They make me a little crazy.
December 30, 2009
Dr Dobson gives practical advice on how to mold and control your strong-willed child. He advocates using a warning system and only spanking (one or two quick swats on the bottom) after the child has been told the rules and deliberately disobeys them. He also encourages a hand swat for potentially dangerous situations: little fingers reaching for outlets or something hot or delicate, etc. Dr Dobson uses the Bible to point out that parents are the authorities in the home and it's the parents' jobs to protect and mold their children. The difference between spanking and abuse is dealt with in detail. Parents of all faiths with difficult children would learn a lot from this book, they just have to have an open mind and real all of it!
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December 26, 2018كتاب جيد، أنصح به
يتحدث عن برنامج خمسة أسابيع لتعديل سلوك الطفل، يختمه بالتطبيق الفعال لمبدأ الـ
Time out
الفعال في عقوبة الطفل
كنت أرغب بإضافة مراجعة للكتاب على قناتي ولم يتسنَّ لي ذلك..
ربيع الأول - 1440
يتحدث عن برنامج خمسة أسابيع لتعديل سلوك الطفل، يختمه بالتطبيق الفعال لمبدأ الـ
Time out
الفعال في عقوبة الطفل
كنت أرغب بإضافة مراجعة للكتاب على قناتي ولم يتسنَّ لي ذلك..
ربيع الأول - 1440
December 19, 2008
I have many mixed feelings about this book. I will not purchase it because I don't want to support Focus on the Family--one of the big supporters of Proposition 8.
There were moments in the book where I did not care for Dr. Dobson's attitude as when he used a belt to discipline a dog. At times, he came across as self-congratulatory. And it's only fair to point out that I'm not a Christian.
However, I cried several times while reading the book. Reading about the experiences of the different families really touched me and made me feel hopeful about my daughter's future. She is only 8 months old, and I have the greatest hope that she will not be faced with the same degree of willfulness as some of the children used as examples in the book. But I see in her many of the same issues, and this book helped me feel that I will be strong enough to be her parent.
Most of the information is tailored more toward children ages 2 and older; however, as the author points out, it's never to early to start understanding your child's temperament.
I plan to borrow this book from the library several times as she grows older.
As for the issue of spanking, I just don't know. While I don't believe in corporeal punishment--or perhaps I should say that I would like not to believe in it--it worked on me as a child. I'm withholding judgment on that point for now.
There were moments in the book where I did not care for Dr. Dobson's attitude as when he used a belt to discipline a dog. At times, he came across as self-congratulatory. And it's only fair to point out that I'm not a Christian.
However, I cried several times while reading the book. Reading about the experiences of the different families really touched me and made me feel hopeful about my daughter's future. She is only 8 months old, and I have the greatest hope that she will not be faced with the same degree of willfulness as some of the children used as examples in the book. But I see in her many of the same issues, and this book helped me feel that I will be strong enough to be her parent.
Most of the information is tailored more toward children ages 2 and older; however, as the author points out, it's never to early to start understanding your child's temperament.
I plan to borrow this book from the library several times as she grows older.
As for the issue of spanking, I just don't know. While I don't believe in corporeal punishment--or perhaps I should say that I would like not to believe in it--it worked on me as a child. I'm withholding judgment on that point for now.
April 4, 2013
This book is not very well-written and generally not super helpful. It spends way too much time talking about the negatives of having a strong-willed child, including studies that make me anticipate how much worse it's going to get. That is entirely unhelpful to someone with a strong-willed child. His actual, practical parenting advice is the same as many other books I've read and there isn't a lot of it. I found the chapter on sibling rivalry especially unhelpful. I only got about one practical idea out of the book. Mostly this book seems to say, "It stinks that you have a strong-willed child. Here are a lot of anecdotes about how bad it might get, especially in the teenage years. Be consistent, positive and creative. If you're not spanking your children you don't have a lot of discipline options. But be careful not to ruin their lives by abusing them. Good luck." Also, it is written from a strong Christian point of view, but in a way which I find unhelpful and off-putting.
August 25, 2017
Very helpful.
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