Substitute For Love

by Karin Kallmaker

Like most women in dead-end relationships, Holly Markham was used to finding substitutes for love. Like chocolate. Fun times with good friends. Throwing herself into her work as a mathematician. But throwing herself into the arms of a leather-clad stranger was never on her list. Even when she does exactly that, she's stunned when the other woman tells her there can be no repeats, no contact, never again.

Reyna Putnam has lived by the rules of her politically ambitious father for years. Increasingly anguished by the work she does at his behest, trysts with women like Holly are all that keep her sane. She tries to banish the memory of Holly as she has so many other women because nothing has changed. She's trapped in a cage not of her own making.

Holly has no intention of living in the shadows, and sets out to uncover the secrets of her own past hoping they will lead her back to the mysterious Reyna and some kind of future.

The first of Karin Kallmaker's many Lambda Literary award finalists, Substitute for Love is a powerfully sensuous exploration of love in its many forms. Fans of this book will not want to miss the short story in Frosting on the Cake 2: Second Helpings.

Genres: Lesbian, Romance, Lesbian Fiction, LGBT, Lesbian Romance, Fiction, Queer

258 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2001

About the author

Karin Kallmaker has been exclusively devoted to lesbian fiction since the publication of her first novel in 1989. As an author published by the storied Naiad Press, she worked with Barbara Grier and Donna McBride, and has been fortunate to be mentored by a number of editors, including Katherine V. Forrest.

In addition to multiple Lambda Literary Awards, she has been featured as a Stonewall Library and Archives Distinguished Author. Other accolades include the Ann Bannon Popular Choice and other awards for her writing, as well as the selection as a Trailblazer by the Golden Crown Literary Society. She is best known for novels such as Painted Moon, Simply the Best, Touchwood, The Kiss that Counted and Captain of Industry.

The California native is the mother of two and lives with her wife in the Bay Area. You can catch her blogs at Romance and Chocolate: https://kallmaker.com/blog/. Find her on social media by searching for "Kallmaker" - there's only one.

Reviews

[Dide · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a really good story of pain and love. The author has a knack for welding stories together that touch readers and supply much needed worded satisfaction. Not my best by Kallmaker but pretty close.

[Jamie (TheRebelliousReader) · Rating 4 out of 5]

✔Sapphic Book Bingo Challenge 2025 🌈✨: Main Board - Vegetarian or Vegan Character

4 stars. This hurt, not even gonna lie. It’s heavy as hell and kinda depressing at times because my goodness do Holly and Reyna go through some shit. It was sad but I really liked it. The HEA is hard fought and I really liked the chemistry between the two women. I liked Holly and Reyna as individuals but there was just something about the way that they craved each other that made this so compelling to me. I can’t say that this is one of my favorites by Kallmaker but it was still a pretty damn good read overall.

[Ulla · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is one fantastic novel!

[Jenna · Rating 4 out of 5]

So, despite being written by Karin Kallmaker, this novel works better as lesbian fiction than it does as a romance. The two leads rarely interact, and when they do, their interactions are almost entirely physical. While it tries to be a love story, I never quite believed that part of it.

What I did believe was Holly's half of the equation. She was a terrific character in a number of ways. See what I did there? Equation? Number? See, she's a mathematician, and I...umm...never mind. Anyway, I loved that side of her personality, the ways in which she tried to fill in the variables of her life in an attempt to 'solve it.' While Holly and I couldn't be more different, I understood her and empathized with every part of her story. She had a wonderfully unique perspective, and her journey of self-discovery and self-empowerment was marvelous to behold once the scales finally began to fall from her eyes.

Reyna's story...well, it wasn't that. The metaphor that was used over and over was that Reyna was living in a cage, and that pretty much summed up her half of the book. She spent almost every page lamenting her terrible situation, sinking deeper and deeper into a horrifying, inescapable quagmire laid out by her father. Despite that, we didn't see a lot of who she actually was. We found out what she was doing, what she wasn't allowed to do and how she felt about that, but I never felt like I knew who she was as a human being or what she wanted out of life, aside from a general desire to be free from controlling influences.

Additionally, while I felt Holly's story progressed nicely and had a believable outcome, the resolution to Reyna's story wasn't quite as plausible. I won't go into spoilers here, but it felt like the antagonist of the story gave up far too easily for someone who'd demonstrated callousness, cruelty, ruthlessness, and a complete disregard for human life.

Criticism aside, the writing here is lovely. To people who've read any of Ms. Kallmaker's other books, this shouldn't come as much of a surprise. She knows how to set a scene, turn a phrase, and I'm fairly certain she could make me believe that even a sheet of plywood was a beautiful creature overflowing with emotions. She has a gift for imagery and metaphor that adds sumptuous layers to everything she touches.

I'd strongly recommend this book, with the caveat that readers go into it aware that it starts slowly, is dripping with angst, and reads more like two separate stories -- Holly's story and Reyna's story -- for the vast majority of the novel.

[Alealea · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm binge-reading Karin Kallmaker's books this month.

Though the story and chronology is disjointed, I really like this one (I waver between 3 and 4 stars), maybe I will upped it next reading

the plus :
> the main characters are both complex & unique
> some minor character (even bad ones) were either endearing or cracked me up

the minus
> the awful dad story doesn't seem credible to me but maybe I'm just naïve ? And this trope has been written so many times, the politically ambitious father blackmailing a child into "proper conduct". hugh

The writer tropes seems to be
> awful birth families (double check)
> bereavement
> light miscommunication
> lava-hot sex scene

[Cheri · Rating 4 out of 5]

The thing I liked the most about this book was the separate development of the main characters. And the author tells a good story.

[Kennedy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Enjoyed this book very much. I like to read about how others work to overcome the challenges in their life.

[Jamie R. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Karin Kallmaker’s superb writing paired with Angela Dawe’s narration 🤯💜. I couldn’t have asked for more. The story was complex and difficult to put down! I feel
In love with both MC’s, Holly and Reyna along with good supporting characters.

It’s a story of coming home to yourself and coming out. Both characters have been through difficult family situations and the unfolding of their stories pulls at the heartstrings.

I love that Angela is bringing the stories from Karin’s back cat to life! More please.

[Gaelle Cathy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Admittedly, there aren't any Kallmaker's book that I haven't -at least- appreciated. So, call me a fan maybe, but still there is something with that book that's very different. The writing, the feeling, it was different. Also I've liked that some issues in this book gave me a glimpse of what it was (is) for people who can't come out for many different reasons. I've faced more difficulties in my life for being a vegan and animal activist than for being gay. Actually, I've never had ANY difficulties at all with that issue so....I've found it very interesting, sometimes appalling, sometimes very sad to be face to face with some of those issues, in that novel. So, yes, that's my second favorite Kallmaker (after maybe Next Time). I've loved it all.

[The President]

lost interest

[Kelly · Rating 5 out of 5]

My first lesbian fiction written by a lesbian author!

[Frances · Rating 5 out of 5]

My, my, my absolutely delicious!

[Nikki · Rating 4 out of 5]

I absolutely loved this book. Fantastic attention to character background that is too often lacking. Could not put it down.

[Bugs · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is my re-read experience (totally different than when I 1st read it yonks ago when I was too militant & idealistic to enjoy it, I can tell you that!):

After reading Karin Kallmaker's "Substitute For Love", I realised I had been holding me breath whilst devouring those pages, trying to chase after the story to find out how it would unfold and finally end! Phew! What a heart-rending, tense ride, indeed! Kallmaker's masterful style of storytelling and the lyrical rhythm of words used to tell a difficult, stressful, emotional story about the perils of hiding one's own true self for fear of retribution vs. eye-opening self-discovery, love vs hate vs fear....literally sucked me into the very different lives of Holly & Reyna, experiencing all the emotional upheavals that circumstances threw at them in very different ways.

Reyna's ordeal was especially painful because Kallmaker was brutally honest about what people like Reyna had to endure in real life. When you read and discover Reyna's journey, you'll know that it happens in real life. You know what's scary, though? It's that the subject matter of this book, whilst written yonks ago (more than a decade), is STILL so horrendously relevant TODAY. It's disheartening.

Meanwhile, though, I absolutely ADORE the fact that Holly's a maths genius. How she viewed life and experiences, solving them in terms of maths equations, i.e. Ramsey's theory, chaos theory, randomness... It's so life-affirming for me because...numbers! Maths! Fck YES! Look around! Everything is maths! Anyways...Holly's heartbreaking past which she eventually discovered (along with us, readers) is somehow akin to Reyna's own tortured situation, and makes so much sense that their lives have collided into each other. If you can see Holly's use of Ramsey's equation clearly in your head, it all makes sense that their lives eventually came together. Mathematics never lies.

Oh...and the chemistry between Reyna & Holly! Oh. My. Heavens. From their 1st encounter. And then came the yearning. And then...the all-consuming want and desire that literally oozed out of the pages...!! Phwoar! Intense is an understatement!

Another reason I love this book is that Kallmaker gave Reyna's story as well as Holly's equal "screen time." She took the time to tell us Reyna & Holly's individual journeys throughout the book so that we could have a deeper understanding about their inner struggles & psyche, as they slowly but surely made their way to each other. It made the their love story so much more.

Anyway, re-reading it after so many years is like I never read it before in the 1st place! How I felt then and how I feel now about this book is so starkly different that it's like it was another person who read it oh-so many years ago, not me! But that's what the passage of time does, innit? Our perspective changes as we gain more life experience, we see and feel things differently, our emotions are more complex...

So, I highly recommend "Substitute For Love". It's a very thought-provoking, profoundly impassioned, consuming love story that will stay with you long after it ends. So much so that you'll wish there was more! At least it was the case for moi! ;) Thank goodness Kallmaker gave us a mini-sequel to Reyna/Holly's story! It's called "Reconciliation," found in Kallmaker's "Frosting On The Cake 2: Second Helpings." It's set 10 years after the ending of "Substitute For Love." I really love the fact that Kallmaker revisits her characters from various books to give us an update on how the couples are doing, especially those that I love! :)

[Jens · Rating 4 out of 5]

In addition to being a good book, I in particular admire the care taken with the details. E.g., the math problem Holly worked on is real, even down to the publication on Ramsey R(4,5) = 25, with the correct authors' names (minus Holly).

On another note, regarding cosmic justice, the worst "pray-the-gay-away" character in the book is called Danforth, the same as the last name of the author of a YA novel that has the brainwashing of teenagers at a de-gaying camp at its center. Published more than a decade later!

[Tempe Luvs Books · Rating 5 out of 5]

I just finished this audiobook written by Karin Kallmaker and narrated by Angela Dawe. I loved the very powerful story but am numb with how it left me feeling. This was published in 2004 before gay marriage became legal in 2015. The two mains both dealt with those that wanted to keep a thumb on their sexual freedom in an ugly conservative climate. The upsetting thing is how, what they fought for, is just what’s happening in the current political climate.

There was a lot of angst that left me depressed to where I had to stop listening for awhile, but it turned out to be a HEA!

[Frida · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book follows two women, Holly and Reyna. I truly liked Holly’s part of the story but didn’t find the same interest in Reynas part. So from time to time I really liked the book but then I also thought at time that the book was boring. I guess for me Reynas character was a bit to much. It wasn’t a bad read it just wasn’t a great one either.

[Lynn Curtis · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thoroughly enjoyed this book. Not often I find a story that literally takes me through every emotion in such a short time.

[Bea Elwood · Rating 3 out of 5]

Even though there is an element of anonymous sex the story doesn't describe that period as vividly as the realization that the character really does want more. A very sweet, and hot, romance.

[clarissa · Rating 4 out of 5]

this was much better written than i thought it would be, but the climax and ending were a little contrived

[Vibeke · Rating 5 out of 5]

A sweet WLW story about being forced to be someone else but yourself and when you finally stand up for yourself your life changes

[Amounah Works · Rating 4 out of 5]

I appreciate and love the mathematicians I've known. They are a special type of magic. This book is important for people who need to learn themselves.

[Elizabeth · Rating 5 out of 5]

Love Kallmaker even more… may even have a little crush on her ..at this point!! lol. This was a fantastic read. Such intelligent, heartbreakingly honest, tearful and beautiful writing!!!

[Carmen Manta · Rating 4 out of 5]

Such quality writing. Great word choice. Descriptive, detailed, effective and precise.

[SUTTON (Kade) · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was so excited. Angela Dawe! And Karin Kallmaker is a hit or miss for me. This was sadly a good book but not excellent - in my opinion.

I felt I was rushing through instead of enjoying the characters and story. Neither main character gripped me.

I hope you all have better luck and love the book! Best to all readers, authors, and narrators!

[Baylee · Rating 3 out of 5]

Puoi trovare questa recensione anche sul mio blog ---> La siepe di more

Ho iniziato a leggere Substitute for love soprattutto per due motivi. Il primo era che avevo voglia di leggere un romanzo con protagoniste delle lesbiche. Ehi, case editrici italiane, toc, toc, quando vi deciderete a darci anche libri che parlano di lesbiche? O dobbiamo rassegnarci al fatto che non esistano (come il Molise)? Insomma, ci sono CE come Dreamspinner Press e Triskell che pubblicano letteratura romantica gay, non vedo perché non si dovrebbe pubblicarne anche di lesbica.

Il secondo motivo era che volevo leggermi qualcosa di leggero, compatibilmente alla scarsa collaborazione fornita dal mio cervello in concomitanza con temperature oltre i trenta gradi. Ho fatto un giretto su The Lesbian Review nel tentativo di evitare un bidone e la scelta è ricaduta su Substitute for love e direi di non essermene pentita.

L’aspetto che mi è piaciuto di più di questo romanzo è stato l’insolito sviluppo narrativo per un libro di questo genere – tanto da farmi pensare che sia in bilico tra il romantico e della blanda letteratura lesbica (non necessariamente romantica). Infatti, più che alla storia d’amore tra le due protagoniste, si dà grande spazio alla loro storia personale, a ciò che le porterà a incontrarsi – solo nella seconda metà del romanzo. Posso capire che una trama del genere faccia storcere il naso a chi ama l’incontro tra le/gli amanti già dalle prime pagine, ma questa “dilazione” ha fatto sì che ci si affezionasse a Holly e Reyna, si capissero bene i motivi delle loro scelte e in ogni caso non toglie niente allo sviluppo della loro relazione.

Il romanzo è del 2001 ed è una specie di compendio a ciò che può accadere a una persona e/o coppia omosessuale inserita in una società che non garantisce loro uno straccio di diritto e dove il pregiudizio si respira insieme all’aria. Insomma, fa incazzare parecchio. Per fortuna, però, non mancano i momenti spassosi, che, anche se seguono il cliché del genere (battute salaci rivolte a una “neofita” et similia), mi hanno fatto divertire.

Non mancano nemmeno i momenti in cui si alzano gli occhi al cielo, momenti causati prevalentemente da coincidenze “sospette” e concentrati di sfiga che saranno pure possibili, ma fanno un po’ effetto “nuvola di Fantozzi”: non hanno raggiunto la mia soglia di fastidio, ma è molto caldo e potrei aver preso un abbaglio (o un’insolazione)...

[Bugs · Rating 5 out of 5]

(previously rated 4.5 for the read)

This audiobook edition of Karin Kallmaker's classic story, "Substitute for Love," performed to heartrending perfection by the one-and-only Angela Dawe is THE sole reason I'm changing my original 4.5 rating after reading the book (eons ago!) to 5+!!

The book is already impeccably written by the legendary Karin Kallmaker. But Dawe... The inimitable storyteller's viscerally affecting portrayals of not only the MCs but the secondary characters, as well, brings Kallmaker's still-very-much-relevant story to real life, elevating the entire experience to newly appreciative heights! Obviously, I have to revise my rating to 5+!!

If you've read the book, I implore you to listen to Angela Dawe's richly visual vocal artistry in interpreting and transcending Kallmaker's intent with her memorable story. A resounding must-listen.

[Allison · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved the book! Loved the Marc Ivar/ MacGyver joke and character!!!

[Annie · Rating 5 out of 5]

The author tells a good story I really like this book. It was hard for me to put it a side.