The Entitlement-Free Child: Raising Confident and Responsible Kids in a "Me, Mine, Now!" Culture

by Karen Deerwester

Raising confident and responsible kids in a "me, mine, now!" culture In a world of quick fixes and instant gratification, The Entitlement-Free Child is your essential resource for how and when to say no, how and when to praise, how to handle age-appropriate challenges, and how to set reasonable expectations―all while maintaining unconditional love. Expert advice for the newest and most in-demand parenting hot-button issue. Parenting expert Karen Deerwester offers hundreds of practical strategies and hands-on tips to guide you through today's confusing parenting situations at home and in public, Put an end to the stubbornness, disrespect, and social problems now by giving your child the resourcefulness to get what she needs and the confidence to respect the needs of others. The Entitlement-Free Child is the new essential resource for 21st-century parenting. Unlock your child's potential today!

Genres: Parenting

224 pages, Paperback

First published April 1, 2009

Reviews

[Nabeel Hassan · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the parenting book for the “new economy”. Parents can no longer say “yes” to everything their children want and the old ways of trying to make kids happy by over-indulging them doesn’t fit anymore (not that over-indulgence ever “worked”). With new limits on spending and cracks in the protective bubble, parents need new parenting strategies. Parents also need some reassuring hand-holding that everything is going to be all right. This book accomplishes both.

This book contains hands-on tips to guide parents through difficult issues like:

Cell phones
Eating out
Birthday parties
Bossiness
Teacher conflicts
Allowances
Bickering siblings
Dinnertime demands
Does your child?
beg for new toys and then discard them quickly?
focus more on quantity than on the actual object?
lose things haphazardly and never miss them?
know how to handle objects with care?
grow bored quickly with what she has?
measure her things against what others have?
place more emphasis on things than on people?
If you answered yes to these questions, your child may be overindulged.

What are the benefits?
The only way to really have “more” in life and give your child “more” is to make “entitlement-free” choices now. Entitlement-Free parenting:

Eliminates the self-perpetuating stress of entitlement where nothing is ever enough
Gives you the permission and the encouragement to say “no” (a positive response to parental doubt & guilt)
Teaches children self respect and respect for others
Teaches children self control and postponed gratification
Teaches children age-appropriate problem solving skills
Gives children age-appropriate responsibility for choices and behavior
The Entitlement-Free Family:

Makes time in daily routines to think, plan, and discuss
Promotes curiosity with open-ended discussions of “What else?” and “What if?”
Examines the situation from other people’s perspectives
Connects feelings and thoughts to choices and actions.

[Erin · Rating 4 out of 5]

Reading this parenting guide by Karen Deerwester was a real eye-opener for me. I know my children have entitlement issues, but from a 40,000 foot view, it appears that almost all kids nowadays have these entitlement issues. Really, it explains a lot.

Does your child refuse to entertain himself, even if you have work to do, dinner to cook, etc.? That's entitlement at work. Beyond merely the "I want" syndrome, entitlement is a problem that both parents and society as a whole are resposible for.

The Entitlement Free Child does a good job of not only defining and exploring the problem of entitlement, it also provides some concrete exercises for parents and situtational advice to help keep said entitled kids in line. The second half of the book, in fact, is dedicated to providing tools to help parents deal with entitlement issues in almost any environment: home, school, in public, etc. I found this exceptionally helpful, because as we all know, what works at home in terms of discipline may not work in church or at Grandma's during Thanksgiving dinner.

Overall, I learned a lot reading this book, and was able to pull a few things to add to my own parenting arsenal. It's appropriate for parents of toddlers and teenagers alike, as well as educators and others who work with today's kids on a regular basis.

[Kjersti · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent parenting book. Organized well with practical advice that resonates with my style of parenting. The cover makes it look like it’s geared towards parenting toddlers, but the text was for all age ranges.

[Timothy · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a "must have" book for any parent and an excellent resource for educators. Insightful, well written, and a no nonsense approach to raising young children in the present day. Bravo!

[Jeri Lin · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book diagnosed my kids on the head. Luckily, I don’t think we are too far gone. With the implementation of these principles, I think we can change the attitudes in our home.

[Beth Gordon · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book goes very well with Love & Logic and how you can raise children who understand consequences for their actions at a young age. There are some fantastic quotes in this book about how raising an entitlement (fancy word for "spoiled") child is NOT the way to go. Perhaps my favorite quote in the book is: "Entitlement children thrive, but only in the bubble of their own perfection." The book also has common sense approaches for real-life parenting situations. What keeps me from giving it 5 stars is that this book needs to be supplemented by other parenting books or classes. There's not enough meat in it to be an all-in-one parenting book.

[Molly · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really liked this book. It gives clear examples and realistic solutions to everyday problems... Notice I didn't say easy or simple solutions? This is not one of those parenting books about training your children in three weeks to be better behaved, it is really about being a better parent. I wouldn't recommend this to everyone, because I think for some people this information is obvious, but for a lot of people this would be an eye opener.

[Marcia · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book had some good points. nothing really profound but she was right in everything she says. probably a good read for expecting or new parents. most of the ideas would be easier to apply from the start. definitely more difficult to go back and undo mistakes with children than to get off on the right foot from birth.

[Anne Baiel · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book describes a lot of my students. It contains a lot of 'duh' information--don't spoil your child or they turn out to be crap, keep a family schedule, be a firm-but-gentle parent-as-parent-not-bestfriend, etc. At least, this is no-brainer material for me.

[Becky · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good book. Sound parenting advice. Well-written with an easy read/find info format. However, the target age range was lower than my children's ages.

[Maria (Ri) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Nice alternative to current mainstream parenting

[Kelly Marquet · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of my all time favorite books and one I recommend continuously.

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very practical. Sound advice.

[Faith · Rating 3 out of 5]

It has some sound advice. I think a lot was common sense for me.