Somehow Form a Family: Stories That Are Mostly True

by Tony Earley

In a series of essays, the author of Jim the Boy offers his take on God, death, civilization, and family, and candidly discusses his struggle with clinical depression. Read by the author.

Genres: Nonfiction, Short Stories, Memoir, Essays, Audiobook, Biography, Literature

5 pages, MP3 CD

First published May 1, 2001

About the author

Tony Earley (born 1961) is an American novelist and short story writer. He was born in San Antonio, Texas, but grew up in North Carolina. His stories are often set in North Carolina.

Earley studied English at Warren Wilson College and after graduation in 1983, he spent four years as a reporter in North Carolina, first as a general assignment reporter for The Thermal Belt News Journal in Columbus, and then as sports editor and feature writer at The Daily Courier in Forest City. Later he attended the University of Alabama in Tuscaloosa, where he received an MFA in creative writing. He quickly found success writing short stories, first with smaller literary magazines, then with Harper's, which published two of his stories: "Charlotte" in 1992 and "The Prophet From Jupiter" in 1993. The latter story helped Harper's win a National Magazine Award for fiction in 1994.

In 1996, Earley's short stories earned him a place on Granta's list of the "20 Best Young American Novelists", and shortly after that announcement, The New Yorker featured him in an issue that focused on the best new novelists in America. He has twice been included in the annual Best American Short Stories anthology. His writing style has been compared by critics to writers as distant as a young Ernest Hemingway and E. B. White. One of his favorite writers is Willa Cather.

Reviews

[Emily · Rating 4 out of 5]

It's funny how much more likely I am to pick up a memoir by an author I've never read before than a novel. I came across this book while setting up my church's annual rummage sale (I should really start a shelf listing the books I've met this way) and my interest was piqued by the reference to The Brady Bunch in the title (I mistakenly thought the book would be snarky). Would I have picked up the author's far more famous book, the novel Jim the Boy, and set it aside for myself had I come across that instead? Nope. I might now, though.

These personal essays are mostly about growing up in the mountains of North Carolina with a family fractured in more ways than one, the title taking on the sound of a not very hopeful imperative. The tone is often poignant, or even downright sad. I found the pieces soothing though, and good reading when taken one at a time at intervals. As a collection of previously published pieces it's not a cohesive memoir, which seems to surprise a lot of reviewers. However, The last piece, a particularly incongruous account of a record breaking round-the-world passenger flight (which Earley flew on as a member of the press) unexpectedly manages to bring the book to a satisfying conclusion.

[Bibliophile10 · Rating 3 out of 5]

As many reviewers note, Tony Earley writes incredibly lucid, potent prose that accomplishes a lot without frill or stuffiness. As much as I enjoyed this book's style, I felt myself liking the person telling the stories better than many of the actual stories. I sensed that I was in the presence of someone who struggles to write about the hardest thing. Even his fantastic title essay, the first in the collection, operates on a level of avoidance (and in this case the form and content work so harmoniously that they echo and re-echo). The rest of the stories, though, treat real conflict with distance and reserve. They're fragmented into short sections that create an associative reading experience when what I really want is for Earley to linger, to relentlessly pursue, what troubles him. Although the stories rarely satisfied me, I enjoyed being in the room with Earley. Like him, I often struggle to focus hard on difficult personal subjects, and in his company, I never felt alone.

[Tanya · Rating 4 out of 5]

Memoir meets vignettes of story. Earley shares his childhood through early marriage years in these short stories that flow a stream of thought and time. Some were quite entertaining and others were dull or didn’t appeal to me.

His sharing of the shows he watched on tv growing up were familiar and I could relate to the 70s and 80s that he wrote about so that was really good. The parts about his both sets of grandparents was also interesting.

[Marian Beaman · Rating 4 out of 5]

Novelist and memoirist, Tony Earley, lives in Nashville, Tennessee, and teaches writing at Vanderbilt University. So he knows a thing or two about the power of words. His writing is true and deceptively simple in his 172-page collection of personal essays entitled Somehow Form a Family (2001).

Earley is on a journey of faith, through disbelief, unwinding the spools of personal history in the North Carolina Appalachia of his roots through to the “split-level ranch-style” of his boyhood home, recorded largely through images on the family’s Zenith TV – and beyond.

The author explores the meaning of life, death, and family in ten easy pieces, beginning with Neil Armstrong’s walk on the moon and ending with his flight as a journalist on the Concorde with astronaut Tom Stafford, Coors beer officials and other big wigs: “Ten miles in the sky, traveling twice the speed of sound I had come to realize that it was also the place I would fly all the way around the world to get back to . . . [home]! It looked as if I had never left.” 172

True enough, “Words and blood are the double helix that connect us to our past.” I certainly believe him. Still, I wanted to know more. What this author revealed was too sketchy to form a complete picture.

[Nic · Rating 3 out of 5]

I am a huge fan of "Jim the Boy" and was eager to read these "stories that are mostly true." Early's sentences, particularly his metaphors, are amazing. The final story about riding in the Concorde as it set a speed record - the language left me devestated at times - his sentences are just so good. However, my favorite essays/stories were about Early's childhood, growing up in a "mother-father-sister-brother family" and often feeling he didn't fit in.

The stories don't fit together in a greater whole - the collection doesn't feel like it adds up to a reading experience in a satisfying way. They are simply chronological. But taken one at a time, on their own terms, most are moving, with many images (like granny's beans in the snow) that linger long after they are read.

[Richard Gilbert · Rating 3 out of 5]

This collection is brought to you by the title essay, which is astounding. Some of his family stories are very appealing, though I hungered to know more about him. It is a collection and not cohesive. You hit rock bottom at the end with Earley's press junket flight around the world. What's interesting is to see what he can do with such a dead concept; interesting because he's a great writer on a doomed mission, but not fascinating, and ultimately almost as depressing and pointless as what he went through.

[Noah · Rating 4 out of 5]

I like Tony Earley. He says that "Sometimes the truest answer to the question "Who are you?" is "I don't know." Which is what makes him the kind of author whose memoir I actually want to read. And I like this collection of short memoir-ish pieces which he deems "mostly true," saying that "Memory and imagination seem to me the same human property, known by different names." These selections contain recollections of Earley's life, at a variety of ages, and a few stories about his ancestors. They were all pretty good, but the title story was great, as was one called "Ghost Stories;" these are two I'm sure I'll revisit.

A few lines/passages I highlighted:

"The sad truth is that I do not like Christians much, particularly when they congregate. I think that whenever two or three people gather in God's name, it's only a matter of time until they start trouble."

"Weddings, of course, have less to do with being married than with the simple fact that it is best to begin the most arduous of journeys surrounded by friends and wearing nice clothes."

"The narrative form - a story with a beginning, middle, and end - is not only a way for us to relate information about the universe to each other, but a reflection of the universe itself. Both the big bang theory and the story of creation in Genesis share the narrative form; both they physicist and the theologian give this biggest story of all a beginning and middle, as well as a promised end. We are born, live, and die; the sun rises and sets; every small stream runs downhill to the sea....Nothing in the physical world - time nor distance, and certainly not the personal essay - is inseparable from the narrative mind of God."

[Karima · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really like this guy. Appreciate his candid style and sincerity. This memoir consists of a collection of (mostly true) stories that recount Mr. Early's boyhood in North Carolina, to his manhood today. If nothing else, read the first story (same as the title) which walks the reader through Early's childhood in the 1950s as related to the T.V. programming of the day. Mr. Earley remembers the bad reception of his family's Admiral television and understood that his family was poor because they owned a black and white set too heavy for Hoss on "Bonanza" (his dad's favorite TV program) to pick up by himself.

I remember telling my parents that my friend, Mary Sullivan, had a color T.V. They didn't believe me. I proceeded to describe to them how Tinkerbell waved her wand which dripped colors and pixie dust all over the screen. (She was introducing "Disney's Wonderful World of Color.") Then they believed. It was 1962 or 63.

[Sherry · Rating 4 out of 5]

I LOVE reading what Tony Earley has written about growing up in the mountains of North Carolina. My mom grew up there, and I spent most summers there, so I could identify with a lot that was written. He even shed light on some things that I just accepted, things I hadn't considered before. For example, it's very true that when someone asks "Who are you?," the answer comes as your position ("I'm Reba's boy") rather than your individuality ("I'm Tony"). But a couple of stories have me puzzled. The last chapter, Tour de Fax, was about his around-the-world flight on the Concorde airplane. Interesting, but the story had nothing to do with the majority of the book. Are the chapters separate stories, or do they form a cohesive book? Does this symbolize his flight from the mountains and his past to the future and embracing what the world offers? Am I missing something? Despite this confusion of mine, I highly recommend this book.

[James · Rating 5 out of 5]

We listened to the audio version of this memoir, read by the author, who may be closer to me demographically than any other author I've encountered. The title chapter outlines his childhood television viewing habits in great detail and with gentle humor and some wry insight. As he moves through his well-remembered catalog of regular shows, it is not until we reach the age of about 15 that he and I have even a single program different in our weekly routine.

A more telling coincidence is the television character with whom he most identifies: Opie Taylor of the Andy Griffith show. Like me, Earley grew up as a Baptist in a semi-rural part of the South in the waning days of Jim Crow, becoming aware only much later of exactly where we had been.

Meandering over his whole life (so far), he ends with several chapters that detail a surprising journey that takes him as far from his roots as can be imagined for just 36 hours, before landing him back in his still-ordinary life.

[Heidi · Rating 5 out of 5]

At first the book seemed disjointed to me and I had a hard time getting into it -- but then I really started to like it. Here are a few of my favorite lines...

"If language is the mechanism through which we inherit history and culture, then individual words function as a type of gene, each bearing with it a small piece of the specific information that makes who we are and tells us where we've been."

"Weddings of course, have less to do with being married than with the simple fact that it is best to begin the most arduous journeys surrounded by friends and wearing nice clothes."

[Susan Oleksiw · Rating 4 out of 5]

In 10 essays (nine of which have been previously published), the author explores moments or experiences in his life, beginning with his childhood in the mountains of North Carolina. Some of the essays are more memorable than others, but all are written in a gently intimate style in which the sentence is perfected and the insight piercing. In the title essay we have the history of his childhood through the TV shows he watched, interspersed with notes on his father moving out or moving back in, and the author's forays into and resistance to adulthood.

Among my favorites are Shooting the Cat for a dialogue that is prefect as well as hilarious. The Quare Gene brings out the dialect of the hills where the author grew up, vocabulary that probably 99 percent of the readers haven't encountered before. Granny's Bridge is another favorite, about the author's mother's determination to bring her runaway son home.

Capturing experiences that become sweet and significant with the passing of time isn't easy, but Earley makes it seem so. He brings us the taciturn grandparents and other, snarly relatives, the child's understanding of poverty, and the young man's devotion to a wife with her own mind. There are no shocking or scandalous revelations, fortunately; no page-turning thrills. Delving into other people's lives nonetheless has its surprises and rewards.

[Brendan Ho · Rating 4 out of 5]

On the way to the end of this book, I noted to myself that these essays were inconsistent. Some were short and seemingly half-baked, while others seemed to encompass worlds. Earley has the ability to write a damn good sentence, and in a few of these essays ("Somehow Form a Family," "A Worn Path") his metaphors are exquisite. Other times, they seem to devolve into vaguely religious platitudes. But nearing the end, I realized that it all sort of works together. I love how he introduces family events in essays that are then touched upon in subsequent pieces, each lending a different angle to the event. Because that's how it is—an event can be tied to many different strings in a life.

And faith. This book is a masterclass in whatever that means.

"The only sound was that of my own breathing, but I also knew that God was in there with me. On good days I know it still."

[Treasure Island Books · Rating 4 out of 5]

The essays in this book are inconsistent. Some are childhood memories and some are stories about Earley's grown-up self. This book is a keeper for the wonderful essay The Quare Gene. Tour de Fax did not seem to fit the collection at all.

[Bette Sohm · Rating 5 out of 5]

I enjoyed this book. Southern author, addicted to TV, growing up in the 60s. Well painted picture of its time and place. Funny.

[Michael Brantley · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a really enjoyable read. Had read the title chapter in an anthology and decided to get the whole context. Great voice you’ll want to follow. Fast read.

[Vivienne Strauss · Rating 4 out of 5]

I recently discovered this author via The New Yorker podcast where he read his short story, The Backpack which was truly incredible - the kind of prose I live to read/listen to. The only thing keeping this book from being 5 stars is the story about the cat which made me physically ill.

[Patricia Geller · Rating 3 out of 5]

A light weight group of short stories about growing up in Appalachia. I liked his other book better. He writes well but you really only get the outlines of the characters.

[Shannon · Rating 3 out of 5]

Two things stood out to me while reading Somehow Form a Family: 1) Earley's writing is fabulous - painting word pictures of people and places with clarity and poignancy and 2) I don't especially like reading short stories. Luckily, for most of the stories, I was able to overlook point #2 because the writing was so good.

I like the subtitle for this book (stories that are mostly true) and Earley's explanation that even our strongest memories may be different than fact when actually researched. I've found in my own family that an oft-told story varies depending on who is doing the telling. This doesn't mean one person is right and another wrong. It's just the way our memories work.

If you're from a small town, from the south, born in the late 60s/early 70s, or simply enjoy well-crafted stories, give this collection a try. You'll almost certainly like the style of writing and you may find that some of the stories stay with you long after you turn the last page.

[Glen · Rating 2 out of 5]

Yes he is a good writer, but no this is not that good of a book. The opening, eponymous essay of the collection is a winner, half shame-faced celebration, half-indictment, of the fact that many (most?) American families are more likely to know the tunes from sit-coms and commercials, lyrics included, than know any of the classics of the Western musical canon, or even of American popular music, and that the expectations for the tempo and tenor of life for many of us were set by those very sit-coms and commercials. After that auspicious opening the book moves from the dull to the droll, kept moving only by the author's sense of humor and penchant for saving body blows for the last paragraph or two, and ends with an inexplicable retelling of a pointless (albeit record-setting for speed) around-the-world trip in a Concorde aircraft. If you are a relative of his, then by all means read this book, but if not, read David Sedaris instead.

[Brandon · Rating 4 out of 5]

Tony has a crisp style with a knack for delightful stories and details. So many of the essays left me smiling at his deftness for pulling you into his life while also helping you see yours a little more clearly. I especially liked The Quare Gene and The Courting Garden.

A few notable quotes:

"Memory and imagination seem to me the same human property, known by different names."
"If language is the mechanism through which we inherit history and culture, then individual words are a type of gene, each bearing with it a small piece of specific information that makes us who we are and tells us where we have been."
"Writers do not write about a place because they belong there, but because they want to."

[Daniel Currie · Rating 3 out of 5]

I listened to the unabridged 4CD audiobook version.

This is a collection of 10 short stories.

The first story is of a boy who associates everything in his world with the TV shows he is watching at that time of his life. Interesting. I think everyone of that generation wondered what it would be like to be a part of the Brady Bunch.

The stories 2-5 are slice of life tales and didn't catch my interest at all.

THe second group of stories are a bit more interesting. Still mostly slice of life, but just a bit more intersting subjects, such as ghosts in New Orleans or a trip around the world on the Concorde.

Not essential listening/reading, but somewhat intersting.

[Jennifer Simpson · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was drawn to this book because I fell in love with the title essay, which so effectively uses its structure to say something really important about loss and family, and the times.... In fact, it is because of this essay that I am calling this grief literature. Earley's sister Shelly (who died when he was in college)does maintain a presence in the book, I think my 2nd favorite essay is "The Quare Gene," which is not really about grief at all, but an examination of language and family and regional history that I found delightful. Earley is a great storyteller, and I was engaged.

[Kate Flora · Rating 5 out of 5]

Tony Earley has a way of writing about things that often makes me breathless. In this book, a series of essays about his relationship to family and place, he nails that feeling of being the generation that has grown away from farm and rural life. As someone who grew up on a farm in the country who now lives in a world removed from farming and animals and guns and community--yep, all of these--he speaks to me in his insights about family dynamics, community dynamics, and how the contrasts of our lives and theirs give us an understanding of their lives and our own.

[Carolyn · Rating 2 out of 5]

I really want to love Tony's books, as I took his creative writing class at Vandy and really liked him. This one has some great moments, but it's too random and secular and slightly depressing for my taste. I finally gave up on it when the entire 3rd CD (of 4) was about trying to track down if ghosts are real, and started with him suggesting that "Maybe ghosts have nothing to do with God." It just seemed...naive to me and at the same time too explicit for my boys.

[Adrian · Rating 3 out of 5]

The audiobook (4 CD) format read by the author was a wonderful fit for this book - and I am not an audiobook lover (I love paper and I love READING books!). Because the stories are so personal, hearing Tony Earley read them aloud was wonderful and injected just the right amount of reality into his words. Down home, understandable and touching.

[Greta · Rating 3 out of 5]

Enjoyed the last story best, because I always wanted to ride in the Concorde... Otherwise Tony Earley's experiences in N. Carolina were far different from mine, and in fact did not reflect child rearing in High Point or Greensboro NC at all. His upbringing in the mountains of N. Carolina was far different from most people's experience of growing up just about anywhere, funny stuff.

[C. · Rating 4 out of 5]

A wonderful, probably mostly unheard of collection of essays/memoir with a wonderful title that I wished I had thought of for my book. Earley writes pointedly and poetically about the heartbreak of growing up in mostly normal family.

[Amy · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not quite as heartwarming as I had hoped, but it had moments of amusement and insight. I particularly liked the essay on The Quare Gene simply because dialects interest me so much.


Talk about titles to give you an earworm!

[Theresa]

After reading Jim the Boy, I'm not on a Tony Earley rampage