When God Seems Gone: Finding Hope When Nothing Makes Sense

by Adam Mabry

What do you do when it feels like God isn’t there―when the state of the world, our own suffering, or the struggles of those we know suggest that God is absent? When you’ve experienced soul-crushing silence from heaven, despite your fervent supplications? Using the book of Habakkuk, as well as his own personal experience of deep suffering, Adam Mabry examines the art of lament―how to cry out to God in desperation from a place of faith and hope.

Genres: Christian, Christian Living

103 pages, Paperback

Published March 1, 2023

About the author

Adam Mabry is Lead Pastor of Aleithia Church Boston, MA, a rapidly-growing downtown church. He is married to Hope and they have four children. Before planting Aleithia, they had planted two churches in Edinburgh, Scotland. Adam did his theological studies at Reformed Theological Seminary and is studying for a PhD at Aberdeen.

Reviews

[Emily (emsalwaysreading) · Rating 3 out of 5]

Listened to this on a drive today. Enjoyed this quick reminder that God has purpose in waiting and his presence is always there no matter our emotions or situation. Ultimately, a more forgettable book and would have loved it to be longer with more personal details.

[Brandi Davis · Rating 4 out of 5]

This small book may only come in at 103 pages, but it is packed with encouragement for those seasons where it feels like God is MIA in our lives. Adam Mabry doesn’t try to come at the reader from a therapeutic or scholarly perspective—he writes this book as a fellow sufferer who’s gained some perspective through his own pain and it shows.

The book is broken up into six short chapters. Five of these chapters deal with different ways that God can seem gone in our lives:

When God Seems Silent
When God Seems Slow
When God Seems Unfair
When God Disappoints
When God Seems Wrong

In each of these chapters, Mabry works through some biblical examples of each scenario and gives practical and actionable steps to work through these difficult feelings. In the final chapter, Mabry points to the one thing we must remember as we endure the pain of a season when God seems gone. (Sorry—no spoilers!! 🙃)

This is a book that can be picked up again and again as you face difficult and painful seasons in life. The chapters can easily be read as standalone chapters when you need encouragement in one specific area over the others. This is a book that everyone can benefit from—whether you have suffered, are currently suffering, or want to be prepared for the future. Highly recommend!


I received a copy of this book for free from The Good Book Company in exchange for this honest review.

[Josh Olds · Rating 3 out of 5]

I think we’ve all been there. It’s those moments what Mother Teresa called “the dark night of the soul” where God’s presence simply isn’t felt. When God Seems Gone is a brief exploration, based on author Adam Mabry’s personal circumstances, of finding hope and light when everything has fallen apart. In five brief chapters, Mabry covers how to deal with circumstances when God seems silent, slow, unfair, disappoints, or seems wrong. A final chapter then talks about our response.

He tackles the issue head-on, acknowledging that it is a reality that many believers face. He examines the various reasons why we may feel that God is absent from our lives, including sin, suffering, and doubt. Throughout the book, Mabry offers a compassionate and hopeful perspective that encourages readers to hold onto faith even in the midst of darkness. I do wish that When God Seems Gone had leaned more into speaking about what God is doing, even when God cannot be seen—and focused on the beauty of lament and how God laments with us in times of tragedy. It’s difficult to take this topic and say anything that’s not trite, particularly in a small amount of space. Mabry doesn’t offend, but neither does he say much that’s paradigm-shifting, either.

One of the strengths of this book is Mabry's willingness to be vulnerable about his own struggles. He shares openly about his own doubts and fears, which makes the book relatable and approachable. The writing style is accessible and engaging, making it an easy read for those who may be struggling with these issues themselves. Mabry is honest that the book isn’t going to solve any problems and it probably won’t provide all the answers to the complex theological questions surrounding this topic, but it is a valuable resource for those who are looking for pastoral guidance and encouragement.

[Ruth Clemence · Rating 4 out of 5]

This short, accessible book gives voice to those inner wrestlings we have in suffering that we don't necessarily speak openly about. It's refreshing that the author is incredibly honest about God's presence (or seeming absence) in our pain.

In parts, the conversational tone of the book made it sound like a friend was walking you through these realities. However, at times, I did get lost in the conversation and forgot about the point the author was trying to make as he made an illustration!

The chapters of the book appealed to me: When God Seems Silent, When God Seems Slow, When God Seems Unfair, When God Disappoints, When God Seems Wrong, What Will You Do Wheb God Seems Gone. I have felt all of these experiences in my life and am thankful these were addressed with honesty, yet always reminding us of the truth and hope we have in God.

This is a book I would comfortably recommend to someone who was struggling or wrestling with the Lord in a difficult season.

[Ben Moore · Rating 4 out of 5]

I often come to books like this with a certain amount of scepticism and doubt. I'm sure many other Christians can testify that, in the grips of sadness, grief, trauma, and despair, when God seems far away, so many books, articles, or podcasts about suffering can be offered as helpful, but actually make you feel worse.

I was sent a free copy to review and wasn't thrilled when it arrived. Seeing that this book was quite short, that the cover was underwhelming, and that it was dramatically subtitled 'Finding Hope When Nothing Makes Sense', I was ready to be dismissive of it, but actually found a great deal of comfort and wisdom inside. I hereby apologise to Adam Mabry for my undeserved cynicism.

The book has an introduction chapter and a summary chapter which sandwich the main events. The main chapters are:

When God Seems Silent
When God Seems Slow
When God Seems Unfair
When God Disappoints
When God Seems Wrong

In these chapters, Mabry some of the most common feelings we can have about God when we suffer. What's wonderful about this book is that it is firmly rooted in scripture, but the author doesn't pretend that quoting bible verses will suddenly fix everything. This isn't a book about how to make God magically feel present again. It's about what we need to know when he seems gone. (Note the word 'seems' throughout).

I won't try to explain everything unpacked in this book because a) Adam Mabry says it all better than I could and b) I'm a librarian who takes copyright laws seriously, but I found many things about this book very refreshing.

Firstly, it's heartfelt but it isn't misery porn (if you'll pardon the expression). The author explains that his insight on suffering and feeling like God is absent is drawn from personal experience, but he doesn't tell us his story or dwell on any other stories. As such, his wisdom and advice are widely applicable because it's not just about him.

Secondly, it's sensitive but blunt when it needs to be. Mawbry isn't afraid of stating hard truths. We SHOULD pray and we SHOULDN'T wallow in self-pity, however much we might want to.

Thirdly, it offers practical insights and spiritual wisdom. I found one light particularly moving. Mabry compares our feelings to Jesus feeling the absence of God on the cross and writes that when he feels this absence 'I am not being treated hatefully by God. In fact, I am being treated as a son'.

This little book is a breath of fresh air. It's short enough that it's not going to feel like a burden to people already exhausted, but the writing is full of compassionate wisdom.

I do think some things could bear a little more unpacking than they're given here, but concision is helpful to the weary, so maybe it's a trade off. I also wished the author would stop telling me all the things he didn't know and couldn't answer and just share more wisdom! He continually undersells himself.

This isn't a book that will bring that wonderful feeling of God's presence back. It's also not a book that attempts to tell you why bad things have happened to you. It's a lovely little book that goes beyond those questions and meets you in the pit with guidance from someone who's been there.

[Aaron · Rating 5 out of 5]

Have you ever felt let go by God? In When God Seems Gone, Adam Mabry helps you find hope when nothing makes sense.


God is Never Truly Absent

The book begins by stating, theologically, God is never truly absent. But this does not negate the fact that we can sometimes feel as if he is absent. Mabry offers hope and help in this small but mighty book.

In chapter 1, Mabry speaks of lament and God’s sovereign silence in Habbakuk 1:2 — God’s choice not to answer a prayer for a season. I appreciate this phrase because it shows that God still has purpose in his silence. We must be reminded that God sees the whole picture, and we can be thankful that God does not stay silent forever.


Slow, Sovereign Love

Mabry looks at Abraham as he waited for God’s promises. There are certain temptations that come with waiting, including passivity as well as over-actively trying to help God move things along. I found it comforting to hear that sometimes God acts slowly because of his sovereign love for sinners. I was reminded of God’s patience with me, and how I must trust and also be patient with him.

I was most moved to see that when God seems unfair, Mabry calls us to look to Christ. He suffered the ultimate unfairness on behalf of our sins. I found this section helpful because it is so easy these days to compare our lives to others. Learning about God’s justice, emoting, being mindful of your friends, rejecting the temptation to define yourself as a victim, and waiting on the Lord are recommended ways to help you keep heart.


Christ, Our True Companion

I found chapter 4 and chapter 5 to be somewhat connected — when God disappoints and when God seems wrong. Self-awareness, honesty in prayer, and faithful submission to God are recurring themes. Coming to terms with the fact that God is good can help us trust and see his wisdom in our situations.

The book ends with practices to help you in a season of God’s absence, including emotional self-awareness, work and rest rhythms, prayer, confession, and not forsaking your spiritual family. This book will point you to Christ, our true companion.


I received a media copy of When God Seems Gone and this is my honest review.

[Panda Incognito · Rating 4 out of 5]

This brief book isn't a theological treatise or a memoir, but is a fellow sufferer's reflection on important things to remember in the midst of suffering. Adam Mabry writes about the experience of feeling like God is absent, and although he doesn't share many personal details, he is honest about how some of his experiences have led him to doubt God. The chapters address feeling like God is silent, slow, unfair, disappointing, and wrong. Mabry includes examples of biblical characters' experiences with similar things, shares practical encouragement, and helps readers process how they will respond to their struggles.

Mabry writes in a deeply compassionate way, describing experiences and feelings that people can relate to regardless of their individual set of circumstances. He is willing to speak hard truths when necessary, like in his warnings against the morass of self-pity and a victim complex, but he doesn't expect anyone to suddenly feel better based on theological truths or turn things around in their lives from a few words of good advice. He gives space for grief and processing, and he has wonderful wisdom to share about the importance of emotional self-awareness, especially for men, who are more likely to stuff and ignore their emotions in the midst of hardship.

When God Seems Gone is a great resource for Christians who are struggling, and it also makes a good gift for a struggling friend, since it doesn't promise answers or offer platitudes. I would have been interested in more details from the author's experience, since some of the parts about his life are somewhat cryptic, but I respect his desire to keep himself out of it and protect his family's privacy. Also, even though the book could have delved deeper into some topics, its brevity and very concise chapters will help readers who don't have the time or mental energy to read something longer.

I received a free copy from the publisher in exchange for an honest review.

[Katie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Man I loved this book. So many amazing words of wisdom from God through the author.

I wrote all this down bc it was so impactful.
A little taste of the book:
Hope deferred makes the heart sick.
That’s exactly how I felt. Heartsick.
When our hearts deeply desire something that seems ever out-of-reach our emotions can really take a beating.
The more important the desire and the longer the wait - the worse it feels.
And the more of this kind of waiting we have to do the more the more disappointed and distraught and eventually depressed we feel.
It can eventually lead to one of 2 different outcomes.
1. We may become impatient and overly functioning and aggressive in “helping God out”
We may do things we know we ought not to do ‘bc God doesn’t seem to be doing them’

2. The same anxiety can cause us to completely disengage from God and lifelessly pass from one thing to another - while our hearts become increasingly cold

“If God was fair - we would all be damned…because God was unfair we are able to experience mercy, grace and a eternal life”
We need to become more emotionally self aware.
We must submit to Gods will and courageous walk in faith with He who sent him own son to the cross.
And THEN he will grant abundant grace for your situation.

“The small turn of the pain of my situation to the promise of Gods presence began to change me”

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am, thankfully, not in a season when God seems absent; I bought this book because I read Adam Mabry's book Stop Taking Sides: How Holding Truths in Tension Saves Us from Anxiety and Outrage and enjoyed his authorial voice and perspective on Scripture. He is just as pastorally sensitive and biblically relevant here.

[Drew Timmer · Rating 4 out of 5]

We're all likely to experience seasons were it just seems like God isn't there. What do we do, or how should we think in the middle of one of those times? Mabry presents some helpful things to consider and remember in those moments. I appreciated that he didn't claim to have any silver bullets to fix the issue, yet kept our eyes fixed on the future towards Jesus' inevitable restoration, all while reminding us of several biblical figures who experienced the same thing and how they navigated these times. Good helpful words.

[Michael Shallvey · Rating 3 out of 5]

Helpful little book on suffering with a strength being the authors vulnerability and finish with strong practical suggestions. I might have flown through it a bit too quickly.