Marni: My True Story of Stress, Hair-Pulling, and Other Obsessions

by Marni Bates

Marni pulls. Pulls her hair, that is.

Unable to deal with the mounting stress at home, in school, and with friends, Marni's compulsion to pluck out her eyebrows, eyelashes . . . even the hair from the top of her head, helped her to quiet her mind and escape the pressures of the world around her.

Marni first began pulling the summer just before entering high school, and she was immediately hooked. Unfortunately, by the time she discovered that her habit was an actual disorder—trichotillomania or "trich"—it was way too late. "When I stared at the mirror and tried to recognize the girl without eyebrows, eyelashes, and bangs as myself and failed, I knew something had gone horribly wrong."

Because Truth Is More Fascinating Than Fiction

Genres: Nonfiction, Mental Health, Memoir, Mental Illness, Biography Memoir

159 pages, Paperback

First published August 3, 2009

About the author

Marni Bates' autobiography MARNI (part of HCI's Louder Than Words series) was on the New York Public Library Stuff for the Teen Age 2010 List. She then signed a five book deal with KTeen. Her first YA novel, AWKWARD, has been optioned by the Disney Channel as a made-for-TV movie and translated into several languages. Her latest YA novel DIAL EM FOR MURDER is with Merit Press.

In her free time she can be found reading romance novels, hiking, singing really loudly (and off-key) in public and watching copious amounts of television--strictly for artistic inspiration, of course.

Reviews

[Alea · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really liked Marni's voice, she is and writes in such a way that you are cheering for her, wanting her to succeed and get through the tough things in her life. From her troubles with her father and her sister and problems at school. She just seems like a nice person that doesn't deserve an ounce of the bad things that happen in her life. And really some of the things that she goes through with her father, sister, and a unbelievably rude debate coach almost seem like fiction. It's sure a lot for one girl to go through. But if you listen to Marni speak, which I had the privilege to listen in on online a few months back, she's a very cheery person, none of her past pain comes through her personality!

The way Marni describes her trich really makes sense. How it's a compulsive behavior and something you can't just stop, it's right there on your head and face asking you to pull. Her trich isn't as much as the main storyline as I had originally though. But it was ok, because Marni fills her memoir with a lot of other interesting things from her life. From homeschooling to her love of reading as a child to being a self proclaimed geek. I could definitely get along with Marni, I think we'd have a lot of things in common.

My main issue with the book was that I just wanted more. It seemed almost too short and almost truncated. The chapters are little glimpses into her life, but I felt like they kind of jumped around time-wise and it made it a little hard for me to get my bearings at times. Did this happen before that etc etc. So I think more pages would have allowed for smoother transitions between the different times in Marni's life that she talks about.

I've heard from Marni herself that she's working on some fiction and really hopes that comes to something because I definitely would love to read it!

[Carol · Rating 3 out of 5]

While I was happy to finally find a book about a true story of trichotillomania, I don't think the author completely captured the truly overwhelming and invasive, or perhaps intense, nature of this obsessive compulsive disorder. She ends the book thinking now that she's happy in college maybe her trich will go away. HAH! As someone's who's lived with it for over fifty years, I doubt it. She refers to it as a stress disorder, and while I think stress exacerbates the problem, it's not the root cause. An OCD is an unwelcome, unplanned, intrusive and destructive action of an overwhelming, all-encompassing nature. As she noted in the book, trich 'victims' are society's freaks, which is sadly true. It's not a well known OCD, thus marginalizing sufferers who are seen without eyebrows, eyelashes or patches of hair. She's still very young when the book ends (in college), and the pictures of her do not reflect any trich damage, which just goes to show (to me anyway) that one must still hide from the embarrassment, the stigma, the shame! She wrote other books and had a blog in the past, but I wasn't able to find any updates regarding her trich. While still in high school, she went to therapy (kudos to her mother for the support and love), but she doesn't discuss the results of it one way or the other. Foregoing therapy myself, I used the internet to research it and to find helpful ways to keep it in check, which has helped in some respects, however, it's always with you. Lurking. You never know at what point an attack is going to strike you and it is the Devil! Damn this OCD! I will give her credit for putting herself out there to enlighten and educate the public about this. For that, it took a lot of guts.

[Melissa · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is an autobiographical book by a teenage girl who suffers from trichotillomania, a compulsion to pull one's hair, eyebrows, and eyelashes. I was hoping she would get into the problem sooner, but she took too long to build up to it. I understand that she needed to discuss her family situation, and particularly her strained relationship with her father, but it seemed at times to be overindulgent and bordering on whiny. I didn't come away with a complete understanding of why she began to pull - is it a combination of family stress and something innate in a person that causes this condition? I needed a slightly clearer understanding. However, some of her best passages were when she explained the feeling and the rush of pulling. And she does admit at the beginning of the book that even she doesn't completely understand why she pulls.

For a debut novel, and considering how young she is, this book was an amazing accomplishment. I think that Marni Bates has a great future as a writer!

[Nicole · Rating 1 out of 5]

This is one of the most depressing, disgustingly repetitive books I've ever read. The author is extremely self-deprecating and pessimistic, and as a result, the entire book is riddled with bitter complaints (particularly about her father and older sister) and old wounds that have yet to heal. Also, the main reason why I checked out the book was because the back cover said it was about trich (someone close to me suffered from this stress disorder), but she doesn't start talking about it until halfway through the book. Even then, it's only for a couple of chapters and then she delves right back into her resentment for her family members, as well as her teachers and classmates.

I completely agree with the previous comments that there should have been more time in between the events and the writing of this book to allow for clarity of mind.

[Sophia · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5*.

tw: suicide mentions. //

i couldn’t help but root for marni. i could just feel the things she was feeling. it was amazing to me. her explanation of her trich and the loneliness she experienced was pretty spot on.

the story was bland a lot of times. the writing wasn’t too good. the pacing of the story makes it boring.

this book shows you that there are more than just drug addictions and they can be just as hard to beat.

when you have an addiction, you have to deal with it for the rest of your life even when you are clean for a very long time.

[Lanla Chok · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’ve seen multiple comments about her long intro before bringing up the trich but I honestly find it very pleasurable. Her feelings, her background and her anxiety is truly something worth reading about. I think the author brings out her feelings very well and that it is very relatable for someone who has self disapproval from time to time. In short, the book’s very enjoyable.

[Dani · Rating 5 out of 5]

First off, let me say that going into this book I was extremely nervous. I usually hate non-fiction books- I avoid them like the plague- but this one has left me to actual question that. It was that good.

Straight from the getgo Marni gets you immersed into the inner workings of her head, and its quite an interesting place to be. Like I said, I'm not an usual fan of non-fiction, and I'm not sure if it was because Marni is a teen or her story is just that awesome, but I loved this book!

I found Marni a really relatable book, though I personally don't have trichotillomania, or hadn't even heard of it before. I think this is a major reason why I loved this work of non-fiction while I usually hate the others; This one I could make a definite connection with , while the others I felt lacked that.

In any case, regardless of why I loved this book, the point is I did! The writing was fantastic and flowing, the story enthralling, and the narrator genuine. A fabulous book from page 1 to close. I recommend this to all, mostly girls though I guess, who want a good non-fiction read or want to learn more about trichotillomania. If Bates were ever to write anything else I would surely pick it up. Oh and as soon as I track them down, I'm definitely reading the other two Louder Than Words books!*

When Hooked: Immediately.
Hookability: (9/10)
Writing: (9.5/10)
Characters: (10/10) <--Marni was awesome!
Plot: (10/10) <-- Uhm its her life though, so its kind of hard to judge!
Originality: (10/10)
Romance: (--/10) <-- I loved how it ended, but once again with the real life thing.
Ending: (9.5/10)
Remembarable: (10/10)
Recommendability: (10/10)
Enjoyability: (10/10)

Overall: (9.21/10)

Crossposted from my blog (http://danidlion.blogspot.com), to see my full review go here- http://danidlion.blogspot.com/2010/02/review-marni.html

[Lindsey Hazlett · Rating 2 out of 5]

I really struggled to get through this one. It's SUCH a sensitive topic, and I don't feel as if it was gone about in the right way.
Marni Bates wrote this memoir in her first years of college, and wasn't quite mature enough, in my opinion, to publish it. The layout was unbelievably jumbled, and the overall reason for the memoir itself was hardly touched upon. I felt as if the book focused far too much on her dysfunctional family dynamics, that didn't seem too atypical to me, and didn't even scratch the surface on to what led up to her Trichotillomania. In all honesty, I got the impression that she was blaming her disorder on her sister, which was an extremely unfair accusation.
I really believe that her story is significant and a huge inspiration, but it wasn't communicated properly. With how little information is out there on compulsive hair pulling, it really should be more carefully thought about before publication. If someone unfamiliar with the topic was only exposed to this portrayal, it would definitely give off the wrong concept and connotation. I think that's why I was so bothered by this account; so few people are willing to come clean with their Trich behaviors, and this didn't give any motivation to.
I wouldn't even consider recommending this read to anyone looking to understand Trichotillomania; I would recommend avoiding this.
Kudos to Marni Bates for being open enough to share her story, but maybe it wasn't the right time.

[A Book Vacation · Rating 2 out of 5]

I tend to stay away from nonfiction accounts, especially recent publications, because I find them very depressing. One of my students handed this novel to me the other day and asked me to read it, as he/she would like permission to read it for our outside reading project. Of course, I obliged, though with trepidation.

Bates is a gifted writer. She is able to transcend her thoughts to the paper in beautiful prose, evoking passion within the reader. I really did enjoy the writing style. The memoir itself, however, was less to my liking. I was surprised to find that a very small portion of the memoir actually deals with Bates’ obsession with pulling. I read through 90 pages (of the 159 page book) before “trich” was even mentioned, save the very beginning of the novel. Yet, when the topic first comes to light, even then it is not elaborated upon. After a few more chapters, the pulling Bates subjects herself to does come to the forefront, but I was disappointed that such a small portion of the novel was actually dedicated to pulling, especially since that is what the synopsis claims the memoir is about...



To see my full review:

http://bookvacations.wordpress.com/20...

[Liralen · Rating 2 out of 5]

This strikes me as one that might well have benefitted from the author waiting until she was older to write it -- more time, distance, experience as a writer.

There wasn't enough material (as far as I can tell), so the vast majority of the book -- something like fourteen of the seventeen chapters -- is taken up not with the issue at hand but with detailing all the big and little irritations that come with growing up. Much of that comes off as deeply negative, although I doubt that was the intention. The characterisation isn't deep enough to justify the negativity and blame attached to so many of the people in the book, leaving me with a bad taste in my mouth regarding the author's voice. I'm sure the author is a lovely, positive person in person, but I wonder whether this was written before her writing had the maturity to portray people in a more balanced manner.

The writing is noticeably stronger when the author is discussing trich, because there she focuses more on details and sensation, but the book's focus is elsewhere.

[John · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5* Great for its purpose and accessible for teens/pre-teens who need to read about someone with this kind of unusual addictive experience (as opposed to the many drug-centered YA books that won't be accessible to teens with addictions that aren't that self-destructive, such as hair pulling). It's a bit on the short side in terms of content and experience for me to recommend it as something extraordinary about the topic, though. It read very linearly and, while delving into some things in-depth, skimmed over a lot of stuff that could have been expanded upon. Marni has a lot of insight into herself, especially for someone as young as she is, and this has me wanting to read her debut fiction novel AWKWARD. MARNI is a book that would fit best in school and classroom libraries - this is the kind of thing I would love to see be readily available to thousands of teen readers who need it.

[Velia · Rating 5 out of 5]

First off, I loved this story. I have read some case studies about the trich, but never an autobiography. I loved how Marni laid out the foundation showing the stress and anxiety build up to the pulling.

I hated that this book reminded me of my hair pulling days. I treated myself by always wearing my hair up and sitting on my hands when necessary. So its not much of a problem anymore. Vanity and social anxiety were my primary reasons to slow it down. People always make comments about my appearance...good, bad...they always have something to say. it puts me on edge and I hate explaining myself and trying to justify myself.

I loved Marni's descriptions of the hair pulling and the urge....dead on. The end was a prime example of how the trich urge doesn't truly get cured. You can get the behavior under control, but the urge remains.

[Donna · Rating 3 out of 5]

Marni, currently a college student, tells the story of her somewhat dysfunctional family and how stress led her to begin plucking her own hair as a teenager. She's thrilled to eventually learn that her nervous disorder has a name, trichotillomania. Far from being a "disease of the week" story, this is really the story of a teenage girl dealing with middle and high school horrors the best she can. Marni's takes a humorous approach to her life story, making it a fast and entertaining read.

[Lisa Segal · Rating 2 out of 5]

Was disappointed that the description of the book focussed on Marni's Trich when in fact, she doesn't even mention the disorder until more than halfway through the book. I hate to give a 19-year-old only two stars on a book into which she has put her heart and soul. I hope that Marni gains more writing experience and finds great success.

[Casey · Rating 5 out of 5]

As someone who suffers from trichotillomania myself, I found this book to be extremely uplifting and helpful. It so easily explains the obsession, the compulsion to pull and I am thankful to have read this book.

[Alyssa · Rating 4 out of 5]

Hair-pulling is not a hot topic, which is one of the reasons Marni has so many problems dealing with it. Her story highlights how stress and addiction can harm a person. For me, the highlight of this book was the epilogue where the lessons were summarized and applied to others.

[Olivia · Rating 1 out of 5]

I thought this book would be more about trich rather than about the story of this girl's life. I was really disappointed.

[Joy · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was pretty good; it brought a spotlight on a disorder, trichotillomania or "trich," which is excessive pulling of hair. You were constantly pulling for Marni to get better.

[Danielle · Rating 2 out of 5]

it was ok...not as good as some other books though

[Nichole Coppez · Rating 2 out of 5]

Very Repetitive.

[Rabia · Rating 2 out of 5]

The beginning is really boring but it was ok. it kind of was disturbing reading how she liked pulling.

[Gretchen Oates · Rating 3 out of 5]

3 1/2 stars

[Marnie · Rating 4 out of 5]

What a heartfelt book. I hope that Marni is able to overcome 'trich' and battle her demons head on throughout.

[craig fitch · Rating 5 out of 5]

Trich

I have trich too and I didn't even know what it was until I read this book. In the last year or so, I have read this book a lot and it was very helpful.

[janie love]

love it