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The Gastronomy of Marriage: A Memoir of Food and Love
“On our first date, Rich ordered a chocolate soufflé at the beginning of the meal, noting an asterisk on the menu warning diners of the wait involved. At the time, I imagined he did it partly to impress me, which it did, though today I know well that he’s simply the type of man who knows better than to turn down a hot-from-the-oven soufflé when one is offered to him.”
When Michelle Maisto meets Rich–like her, a closet writer with a fierce love of books and good food–their single-mindedness at the table draws them together, and meals become a stage for their long courtship. Finally engaged, they move in together, but sitting down to shared meals each night–while working at careers, trying to write, and falling into the routines that come to define a home–soon feels like something far different from their first dinner together.
Who cooks, who shops, who does the dishes? Rich craves the light fare his mother learned to prepare as a girl in China, but Michelle leans toward the hearty dishes her father knew as a boy in Italy. Rich eats meat, but Michelle doesn’t. His metabolism races through carbohydrates, hers holds to them tightly. And while her idea of a quick meal is a fried egg, his is to head to a restaurant. After Rich takes additional work to pay for their wedding, Michelle offers to do his half of the cooking chores–which, along with the newness of their living together, challenges her feelings about the kitchen and what it means to be a modern wife.
As they save and plan for a wedding, the nightly compromises, small generosities, and stubborn stakings of ground that take place around the dinner table offer a context in which Maisto considers what she’s learned from the marriages around her, and what she and Rich might create for themselves.
When Michelle Maisto meets Rich–like her, a closet writer with a fierce love of books and good food–their single-mindedness at the table draws them together, and meals become a stage for their long courtship. Finally engaged, they move in together, but sitting down to shared meals each night–while working at careers, trying to write, and falling into the routines that come to define a home–soon feels like something far different from their first dinner together.
Who cooks, who shops, who does the dishes? Rich craves the light fare his mother learned to prepare as a girl in China, but Michelle leans toward the hearty dishes her father knew as a boy in Italy. Rich eats meat, but Michelle doesn’t. His metabolism races through carbohydrates, hers holds to them tightly. And while her idea of a quick meal is a fried egg, his is to head to a restaurant. After Rich takes additional work to pay for their wedding, Michelle offers to do his half of the cooking chores–which, along with the newness of their living together, challenges her feelings about the kitchen and what it means to be a modern wife.
As they save and plan for a wedding, the nightly compromises, small generosities, and stubborn stakings of ground that take place around the dinner table offer a context in which Maisto considers what she’s learned from the marriages around her, and what she and Rich might create for themselves.
256 pages, Paperback
First published August 22, 2009
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 112 reviews
November 30, 2009
The basic premise of this memoir is that the author tries to use food as a metaphor for her relationship. Every night (yes, every night) they have to decide what to eat (he's a Chinese meat-eater, she's an Italian vegetarian) for dinner. This is a process that involves learning about your partner's needs and desires, his moods, and it's a process that involves learning how to compromise. The premise is theoretically interesting, but it doesn't really work, because I can't see what the author learned over the course of the year. Even in memoirs, there's some kind of character development and growth. This woman remains as frustratingly fastidious about food at the end of the book as she did at the beginning. And the reader gets shortchanged at the end. The narrative is also organized around the increasing build-up to the wedding, and then, the book stops about three weeks short of the actual event. The reader is kind of left hanging. Kind of bizarre and annoying when you consider the book's title (The Gastronomy of Marriage).
Maisto clearly worked hard for her Columbia MFA (yeah, we hear about that a lot too)...she writes well, making the book less painless to read than it might have been. But to be frank, I think the only reason this one got picked up by Random House is because food memoirs are all the rage at the moment...what everyone seems to forget is that they need to be interesting as well.
And, finally, this woman is younger than me. Why she is writing a "memoir"?
Maisto clearly worked hard for her Columbia MFA (yeah, we hear about that a lot too)...she writes well, making the book less painless to read than it might have been. But to be frank, I think the only reason this one got picked up by Random House is because food memoirs are all the rage at the moment...what everyone seems to forget is that they need to be interesting as well.
And, finally, this woman is younger than me. Why she is writing a "memoir"?
December 8, 2009
New York City freelance author Michelle expounds on her wedding plans, wedding fears, wedding exercise regime, & wedding clothes. What part of this preparation is her own (modern woman! no red meat!) and what is baggage from the past (Italian grandparents, her parent's divorce)?
And more importantly - what the hell are they going to eat for dinner? It cannot be too expensive (hello, they're saving for a wedding) and cannot be planned in advance - Michelle cringes - that would not take advantage of the wide variety of culianary possibilities, some delightful, which New York has on offer, constantly, like a courtesan spreading her wares. And besides - Rich needs to eat what he wants right then. Planning ahead? Quelle horreur!
Maisto describes herself as 'controlling'; Rich calls her a little dictator. It's no surprise that this book is carefully written, waxing poetic in controlled descriptions of aubergine and squid and the expression of water droplets on the underside of kale leaves.
And it's no surprise that all this artfulness leads exactly nowhere - no denounment, no plot, no form whatsoever, just a loose collection of ideas about love and marriage and fate and the combination of holiday plans and an exercise regime and a few recipes thrown in for the element of surprise.
Sloppy juxtaposition is no surprise at all nowadays; what would be a surprise, what I would like, is a finished work. Maisto says, in NYC, all your energy is expended just staying in one place. It must be comforting to live on a treadmill - you're never going to go anywhere, so you don't have to worry about what you do when you get there.
And more importantly - what the hell are they going to eat for dinner? It cannot be too expensive (hello, they're saving for a wedding) and cannot be planned in advance - Michelle cringes - that would not take advantage of the wide variety of culianary possibilities, some delightful, which New York has on offer, constantly, like a courtesan spreading her wares. And besides - Rich needs to eat what he wants right then. Planning ahead? Quelle horreur!
Maisto describes herself as 'controlling'; Rich calls her a little dictator. It's no surprise that this book is carefully written, waxing poetic in controlled descriptions of aubergine and squid and the expression of water droplets on the underside of kale leaves.
And it's no surprise that all this artfulness leads exactly nowhere - no denounment, no plot, no form whatsoever, just a loose collection of ideas about love and marriage and fate and the combination of holiday plans and an exercise regime and a few recipes thrown in for the element of surprise.
Sloppy juxtaposition is no surprise at all nowadays; what would be a surprise, what I would like, is a finished work. Maisto says, in NYC, all your energy is expended just staying in one place. It must be comforting to live on a treadmill - you're never going to go anywhere, so you don't have to worry about what you do when you get there.
July 5, 2014
I recognize so much of myself in this book. Cooking for someone else's palette and stomach, compromise, taking on household duties because my partner makes more money. Wanting my choices to last and stick, but also knowing that everything is temporary--you can renegotiate your roles, time changes all, and not everyone makes it through all the time.
I like the tone, which I may be projecting from my own space. But I consider this a very wistful, melancholy goodbye to singlehood. She's enthusiastic and in love, but she recognizes the great change that will come with marriage in a way that I *thought* I did but did not. It's an acknowledgement of independence and youth and the trade-off for "adulthood" and its concomitant sacrifices and changes, but new possibilities as well. But no one gets to have all the lives, and every choice you make circumscribes you a little bit more. And choice becomes routine and routine becomes who you are. Even knowing that, it's hard to avoid, and maybe it's not worth trying to avoid. Choose carefully, think a lot (maybe a little less than she does or than I do), and keep the lines of communication open. Hope for the best, but do more than hope, too.
My parents just left, and I had no dinner plans for the week. So I decided to see what would happen if I just let the dinner hour roll around with no plan. Here were the results: leftovers, eating out, cobbled-together soup followed by a trip to the store anyway, dinner at the in-laws, dinner at the in-laws. I shall not try this experiment again. I wonder if Dave noticed. I very much identify with Maisto's impossible focus on feeding two very different (even though compatible) people in a way to satisfy them both, and with the seeming obliviousness of a partner who often shoots down ideas but rarely offers actual meal suggestions. I guess it's not so bad. Her entire book on the topic made me realize that these are the problems to have: endless discussions about the overabundance of food and choices, free time to make delicious meals. As my mom noted while here, "You guys will drive anywhere for food."
I like the tone, which I may be projecting from my own space. But I consider this a very wistful, melancholy goodbye to singlehood. She's enthusiastic and in love, but she recognizes the great change that will come with marriage in a way that I *thought* I did but did not. It's an acknowledgement of independence and youth and the trade-off for "adulthood" and its concomitant sacrifices and changes, but new possibilities as well. But no one gets to have all the lives, and every choice you make circumscribes you a little bit more. And choice becomes routine and routine becomes who you are. Even knowing that, it's hard to avoid, and maybe it's not worth trying to avoid. Choose carefully, think a lot (maybe a little less than she does or than I do), and keep the lines of communication open. Hope for the best, but do more than hope, too.
My parents just left, and I had no dinner plans for the week. So I decided to see what would happen if I just let the dinner hour roll around with no plan. Here were the results: leftovers, eating out, cobbled-together soup followed by a trip to the store anyway, dinner at the in-laws, dinner at the in-laws. I shall not try this experiment again. I wonder if Dave noticed. I very much identify with Maisto's impossible focus on feeding two very different (even though compatible) people in a way to satisfy them both, and with the seeming obliviousness of a partner who often shoots down ideas but rarely offers actual meal suggestions. I guess it's not so bad. Her entire book on the topic made me realize that these are the problems to have: endless discussions about the overabundance of food and choices, free time to make delicious meals. As my mom noted while here, "You guys will drive anywhere for food."
June 4, 2011
I just loved reading this book. Great feel for food, family, and making new paths together in marriage. Honest and real. Yum recipes too!
June 4, 2011
I loved this book. There are so many statements that I could relate to from the author in her memoir about food and her relationships, both with her future husband and with their families.
"He never wants to talk about what to eat in advance," she laments at one point when trying to decide what to do about dinner (pg 101). She is Italian (not to mention a vegetarian) and he is Chinese and she finds it difficult to wing dinner when combining these two so very different culinary traditions further complicated by the vegetarian thing. The elusive family recipe for great Pasta Fagioli (I've been looking for a great recipe for this for a year now) is offered up right at the beginning of the book (so...she had me at Fagioli!); other recipes are sprinkled throughout. The phrase, “These are my marriage dealbreakers" (p. 103) is one that my husband and I have used in our own marriage, although about different criteria. And how many times have you opened up your pantry and thought, “There’s no food here, only…ingredients.” (p. 100). Probably thousands of times I’ve stood in front of my pantry/fridge/freezer thinking, “What do we have? What can I make?”
She also captures that feeling you might experience when you suddenly find that you have a block of time to (and for) yourself. She deftly describes how to create what my friend Denise calls that Party for One atmosphere. “Lie on the couch and watch a television program that the person you live with, but who is not home now, thinks is stupid…” and goes on to describe how to make a recipe that (for her) perfectly accompanies this pastime.
Anyone who’s ever tried to make a special meal for someone and had it turn out to be just okay will relate to Michelle Maisto. Even as she is struggling to define her role in her relationship as a soon-to-be-wife, thinking she should shun the traditional “wife” chores, she finds that she feels most at home in (where else?) her kitchen.
As do most of us.
"He never wants to talk about what to eat in advance," she laments at one point when trying to decide what to do about dinner (pg 101). She is Italian (not to mention a vegetarian) and he is Chinese and she finds it difficult to wing dinner when combining these two so very different culinary traditions further complicated by the vegetarian thing. The elusive family recipe for great Pasta Fagioli (I've been looking for a great recipe for this for a year now) is offered up right at the beginning of the book (so...she had me at Fagioli!); other recipes are sprinkled throughout. The phrase, “These are my marriage dealbreakers" (p. 103) is one that my husband and I have used in our own marriage, although about different criteria. And how many times have you opened up your pantry and thought, “There’s no food here, only…ingredients.” (p. 100). Probably thousands of times I’ve stood in front of my pantry/fridge/freezer thinking, “What do we have? What can I make?”
She also captures that feeling you might experience when you suddenly find that you have a block of time to (and for) yourself. She deftly describes how to create what my friend Denise calls that Party for One atmosphere. “Lie on the couch and watch a television program that the person you live with, but who is not home now, thinks is stupid…” and goes on to describe how to make a recipe that (for her) perfectly accompanies this pastime.
Anyone who’s ever tried to make a special meal for someone and had it turn out to be just okay will relate to Michelle Maisto. Even as she is struggling to define her role in her relationship as a soon-to-be-wife, thinking she should shun the traditional “wife” chores, she finds that she feels most at home in (where else?) her kitchen.
As do most of us.
February 11, 2011
This creative nonfiction memoir interweaves several of my favorite themes: melding of cuisines, family, career, friends and love (and why we choose the people we do to populate our lives). Anyone interested in the tale of a Gen Xer writer planning a wedding and both questioning and enjoying the exploration of gender roles in the kitchen and in her personal life, will enjoy this tale of Michelle and her fellow writer fiance, Rich. While I'm not a great cook by any means, I especially enjoyed her food preparation descriptions. For foodies, there are recipes at the end of almost every chapter. I loved the vivid descriptions of her neighboorhood bodegas, her favorite dishes, and her relationships with her father and sisters. An easy read but a pleasantly artistic and thoughtful one. Excellent! :)
April 29, 2016
A lovely piece of writing by Michelle Maisto. She tells the story of her engagement and glimpses of her life, all as they connect to the food she makes and that has been made for her. I really enjoyed the fact that she lives in NYC because I recognize so much of what she talks about (the tiny kitchens with too small stoves, the improvised dinner parties, the rearranging of furniture to make room for new people, the neighbors knowing your business because you prop a shoe in the door to cool the apartment down, etc..). There were some quotes I particularly liked, probably about God, but I forgot to mark them down and can't find them now. More than anything the book inspired me to wonder if I could write my life's history linking it to food?
December 28, 2009
Cannot tell you how much I loved this book - I devoured it (pun intended). Such a fun, sweet, incredible tale of love, marriage and food.
Hard to tell if this book rang so true because I am also a recently married, former New Yorker who cooks like crazy with her husband, but this book did remind me that my little life is not all that unique (not the most shocking revelation, but it's still uncanny to turn so many pages and be reminded that your story is being lived out in how many other countless, cramped New York apartments).
Hard to tell if this book rang so true because I am also a recently married, former New Yorker who cooks like crazy with her husband, but this book did remind me that my little life is not all that unique (not the most shocking revelation, but it's still uncanny to turn so many pages and be reminded that your story is being lived out in how many other countless, cramped New York apartments).
September 28, 2010
Every family has its own unique culture, full of eccentrics, oddballs, and longstanding traditions. Maisto tells her personal story of trying to create her own family rituals with her fiancé, Rich. Maisto is from an Italian family and Rich grew up in a Chinese family. The melding of their cuisine preferences is featured in the book along with several recipes. But Maisto’s memoir was really more, for me, about the alchemy of Michelle and Rich’s relationship.
I would highly recommend this book for all couples, but particularly for the newly engaged.
I would highly recommend this book for all couples, but particularly for the newly engaged.
August 27, 2010
I absolutely adore this book. I devoured it (pun intended) and wished I could scrape the bowl for more. It's a cup of introspection, two cups of mementos and memories, a dash of hopefulness, and a sprinkling of recipes. Exactly what I crave in written pages. I want to read volume two--I want to read about the wedding, the Southern food, and kids running around the kitchen.
March 2, 2018
Different take on getting married, preparing meals but not yet becoming the stereotyped housewife and then also blending two different tastes (hers: Italian and vegetarian, his: Chinese meat eater). Some very interesting meals were made. In the end it seems if you love someone you will make it work. Kept some interesting recipes from the book too that I can't wait to try.
September 21, 2018
One of the loveliest, coziest books I've read. The only problem is...you'll want snacks while you eat and they should probably be homemade snacks or at least fancy store-bought. The popovers were delicious and I can't wait to try more recipes. This. Is a special book I will revisit many times.
January 17, 2013
I really enjoyed this book at the start. There are great recipes that I wanted to jump up and try right away. I actually did run to the fridge to see if I had the ingredients for a soup she makes early on and ended up adding to my grocery list. (I did make the soup later and it was great!) The many lists of ingredients and grocery lists throughout didn't even bother me because I wanted to know what would come of them. What I really liked is how she sometimes worked the recipes into the text, adding anecdotes as she went, making the cooking experience very real. I liked the actual recipes inserted at the ends of chapters and the way she gave the instructions in a casual, conversational style. A lot of the focus on food ended up getting turned to the wedding plans, which went in a direction that was not as interesting, in my opinion. The premise of the story is that the author has taken on all the cooking responsibilities while her husband-to-be took on more writing work in order to pay for their wedding. She grouses about how this is not what she wants her marriage to be, with her taking on the more "traditional" role of being in the kitchen. The problem is, she clearly loves to cook, so to the reader it doesn't seem that the guy gets a fair shake in the deal--and he seems to do a tremendous amount of cooking too! As well, there is a bit of complaining on her part that doesn't seem fair. It is interesting that this book can pass as a memoir when the author is only in her twenties, and her young age begins to show itself in glaring ways as the book progresses. She makes very wise observations and tells lovely stories about her childhood that kept me reading, but the constant need to mention her trips to the gym and her stress about the wedding made it clear that she is young. The food part gets lost, too, as all this is happening, and the meals became as boring as sandwiches and salads. At one point she mentions how embarrassed she is now in thinking about something she did when she was 20. I think that when she is 40, she will look back at this book and be a little embarrassed that she titled her book with the word "Marriage" and called it a "memoir." Though I did enjoy the book--she is a good writer with a keen ability to make the mundane seem romantic (sometimes overdoing it, though)--I would have preferred if she wrote about their first year of marriage rather than the year before (actually ending a few weeks before the wedding even happens). How would their first year look when they go back to sharing the kitchen duties? Hmm...
April 16, 2010
I have to admit - I first chose to read this book before I loved the cover - 2 yellow crookneck squash entwined on a blue background, very striking (I actually spotted the book in a photo of a bookstore on a blog).
This wasn't a perfect book, but I think it's because the author was pretty real & honest throughout. At times almost too honest - ouch, she shared how she wrote an email to break up with her boyfriend, went to church & had 2nd thoughts - not sure I'd want to share that, but perhaps I'm not the memoir-writing type. It seems like she was struggling to still figure out her own values, beyond her family's values, and even at the end, I'm not sure she got there.
She's writing in the months before her wedding, focusing on her life living with her fiance & adapting to each other. She has a lot of issues with marriage (don't we all?), and she is struggling with some of the basic differences between her and fiance - religious views, cultural backgrounds (she's Italian/Amer; he's Chinese/Amer), and food preferences (he's a meat eater; she's veggie). I also enjoyed her chapter about dinner parties & the sometimes unrealistic meals we plan for others. Good simple recipes at the ends of chapters - I plan to copy down a few before returning my library book.
As we've probably all found in relationships - negotiating dinner time can be difficult. I found myself thinking how lucky I am that a)my boyfriend lets me do most of the cooking/meal planning, and b)we enjoy eating almost the same things - or at least a vegetarian/seafood diet. I sometimes wish my fellow was more into cooking or discussing the merits of fresh asparagus, but at the same time, I would be frustrated by the author's relationship in which her fiancee would often veto her dinner ideas. My fellow does think some of my ideas are a little odd (sardines on toast), but he generally goes along with things & isn't too picky.
Some reviewers noted that they were disappointed that the book ends before the wedding - perhaps because I read this prior, I was okay with it, but it seemed a less important part of the story. This book was really focused on how do you merge two people's lives, especially if they did have fairly different upbringings? How do you deal with the most basic daily routines, such as what's for dinner?
This wasn't a perfect book, but I think it's because the author was pretty real & honest throughout. At times almost too honest - ouch, she shared how she wrote an email to break up with her boyfriend, went to church & had 2nd thoughts - not sure I'd want to share that, but perhaps I'm not the memoir-writing type. It seems like she was struggling to still figure out her own values, beyond her family's values, and even at the end, I'm not sure she got there.
She's writing in the months before her wedding, focusing on her life living with her fiance & adapting to each other. She has a lot of issues with marriage (don't we all?), and she is struggling with some of the basic differences between her and fiance - religious views, cultural backgrounds (she's Italian/Amer; he's Chinese/Amer), and food preferences (he's a meat eater; she's veggie). I also enjoyed her chapter about dinner parties & the sometimes unrealistic meals we plan for others. Good simple recipes at the ends of chapters - I plan to copy down a few before returning my library book.
As we've probably all found in relationships - negotiating dinner time can be difficult. I found myself thinking how lucky I am that a)my boyfriend lets me do most of the cooking/meal planning, and b)we enjoy eating almost the same things - or at least a vegetarian/seafood diet. I sometimes wish my fellow was more into cooking or discussing the merits of fresh asparagus, but at the same time, I would be frustrated by the author's relationship in which her fiancee would often veto her dinner ideas. My fellow does think some of my ideas are a little odd (sardines on toast), but he generally goes along with things & isn't too picky.
Some reviewers noted that they were disappointed that the book ends before the wedding - perhaps because I read this prior, I was okay with it, but it seemed a less important part of the story. This book was really focused on how do you merge two people's lives, especially if they did have fairly different upbringings? How do you deal with the most basic daily routines, such as what's for dinner?
January 21, 2010
"On our first date, Rich ordered a chocolate soufflé at the beginning of the meal, noting an asterisk on the menu warning diners of the wait involved. At the time, I imagined he did it partly to impress me, which it did, though today I know well that he’s simply the type of man who knows better than to turn down a hot-from-the-oven soufflé when one is offered to him.”
— The Gastronomy of Marriage
If Michelle Maisto was quite taken with her date's behavior as described above, I was equally smitten with her book, "The Gastronomy of Marriage: A Memoir of Food and Love," a Christmas gift from one of my sisters. Though it's a quick read, Maisto takes a serious look at relationship issues — control, communication, finances, religion, hopes and dreams — through the prism of food. She's from a big, gregarious Italian family and her fiance is the only son of Chinese parents; therein lies the tale.
Both Maisto and her fiance, Rich, are writers; she's a grad student with huge loans and a subsistence job, while Rich is a successful freelancer. He offers to take on more paying jobs to help them cover the cost of their wedding, while Maisto will take on more of the household chores, especially meal planning, shopping and cooking.
He eats meat, she's vegetarian; she's happy with an egg or some pasta, he wants lighter and brighter meals; she likes to plan dinners in advance, he likes to decide what to eat when he's finally hungry — you can picture the problems. But are they problems, family attitudes, or traditions? When should you compromise and why?
As one-half of a couple with often demanding careers and lots of outside interests and commitments, I'm well aware of the pitfalls — and pleasures — that surround making dinner for two at home. Perhaps that's one of the reasons Maisto's story resonated so strongly with me; I've been there and done a lot of that. Maisto's book is charming, funny, thoughtful, and always rings true, whether she's philosophizing about home and how you behave there, hometown food nostalgia, the joy of tapioca or the brilliance of the late Laurie Colwin.
— The Gastronomy of Marriage
If Michelle Maisto was quite taken with her date's behavior as described above, I was equally smitten with her book, "The Gastronomy of Marriage: A Memoir of Food and Love," a Christmas gift from one of my sisters. Though it's a quick read, Maisto takes a serious look at relationship issues — control, communication, finances, religion, hopes and dreams — through the prism of food. She's from a big, gregarious Italian family and her fiance is the only son of Chinese parents; therein lies the tale.
Both Maisto and her fiance, Rich, are writers; she's a grad student with huge loans and a subsistence job, while Rich is a successful freelancer. He offers to take on more paying jobs to help them cover the cost of their wedding, while Maisto will take on more of the household chores, especially meal planning, shopping and cooking.
He eats meat, she's vegetarian; she's happy with an egg or some pasta, he wants lighter and brighter meals; she likes to plan dinners in advance, he likes to decide what to eat when he's finally hungry — you can picture the problems. But are they problems, family attitudes, or traditions? When should you compromise and why?
As one-half of a couple with often demanding careers and lots of outside interests and commitments, I'm well aware of the pitfalls — and pleasures — that surround making dinner for two at home. Perhaps that's one of the reasons Maisto's story resonated so strongly with me; I've been there and done a lot of that. Maisto's book is charming, funny, thoughtful, and always rings true, whether she's philosophizing about home and how you behave there, hometown food nostalgia, the joy of tapioca or the brilliance of the late Laurie Colwin.
September 15, 2016
Last week i finished up a little book called The Gastronomy of Marriage by Michelle Maisto. I thought it sounded intriguing because it's about a couple who are planning their wedding and enjoy cooking together, much like me and Nathan. Yeah, it's a memoir and i don't much like memoirs, i reasoned, but i enjoyed Committed so maybe i'll enjoy this, too.
I didn't.
It's mercifully short and padded with recipes, which i thought was a nice touch since most of the book is a description of cooking this or that meal. Maisto attempts to use these meals as an illustration of a transformation she undergoes while being engaged, but there is absolutely no soul to the book. She describes starting to resent cooking when it becomes her "job" in the house. Her mother - mercilessly - always told Michelle that marrying her father and becoming a housewife was a mistake, and Maisto seems to be deathly afraid of repeating her mother's mistakes (just like every other feminist i've been reading lately). But in the end she realizes that she has always loved cooking and still does and is not in fact being oppressed because she finds herself in the kitchen on a daily basis. Duh.
There's just no passion in the writing. And her fiance sounds like a royal pain in the ass, by the way. Not that Maisto complains about him, ever. She doesn't seem to actually realize that he is, in fact, a pain in the ass. There's no humor in the book, nothing really sentimental or moving is said, and i took nothing away from it except for a reinforced notion that young women are actually afraid of doing more than fifty percent of the housework now for any reason, even if they enjoy it. She doesn't have a meal planned. She throws out a few ideas. Her fiance whines. They finally settle on something. She cooks. They eat and are satisfied. This happens repeatedly, and this is pretty much all that happens. And the story ends days before the wedding. I DIDN'T EVEN GET TO HEAR ABOUT THE WEDDING. The only aspect of wedding planning she seems to enjoy is choosing the food; even her description of dress shopping is excruciatingly dull. I mean, come on - this is your wedding. Have a little fun, for God's sake.
I didn't.
It's mercifully short and padded with recipes, which i thought was a nice touch since most of the book is a description of cooking this or that meal. Maisto attempts to use these meals as an illustration of a transformation she undergoes while being engaged, but there is absolutely no soul to the book. She describes starting to resent cooking when it becomes her "job" in the house. Her mother - mercilessly - always told Michelle that marrying her father and becoming a housewife was a mistake, and Maisto seems to be deathly afraid of repeating her mother's mistakes (just like every other feminist i've been reading lately). But in the end she realizes that she has always loved cooking and still does and is not in fact being oppressed because she finds herself in the kitchen on a daily basis. Duh.
There's just no passion in the writing. And her fiance sounds like a royal pain in the ass, by the way. Not that Maisto complains about him, ever. She doesn't seem to actually realize that he is, in fact, a pain in the ass. There's no humor in the book, nothing really sentimental or moving is said, and i took nothing away from it except for a reinforced notion that young women are actually afraid of doing more than fifty percent of the housework now for any reason, even if they enjoy it. She doesn't have a meal planned. She throws out a few ideas. Her fiance whines. They finally settle on something. She cooks. They eat and are satisfied. This happens repeatedly, and this is pretty much all that happens. And the story ends days before the wedding. I DIDN'T EVEN GET TO HEAR ABOUT THE WEDDING. The only aspect of wedding planning she seems to enjoy is choosing the food; even her description of dress shopping is excruciatingly dull. I mean, come on - this is your wedding. Have a little fun, for God's sake.
May 22, 2010
I was completely enchanted by Michelle Maisto's writing and her beautiful honesty when it came to food and love. I found myself constantly comparing my husband and I to she and Rich...we're so alike! Our husbands are both the picky ones in the relationship, we're the planners of the meals (if our husbands let us plan), and we feel this need to be great wives without compromising a bit of ourselves.
I must admit, I was more than a bit impressed with Maisto's knowledge of food and cooking, though she was just entering a marriage and hadn't had all that much experience. She knows a whole lot more than I do about different cooking methods, ingredients, and dishes in general, so my reading was a learning experience that made me salivate! I couldn't wait to see what they figured out to make for dinner each night and the recipes included were such a nice touch. Things that I've never made or thought to make, but written out in such an easy-to-make manner that I am definitely going to be trying some of them...namely the Apple Cake and the Artichoke Pie. Yum!
I felt included in the engagement and wedding planning, as Maisto's writing was friendly and inclusive. Really, I think we could be all be great friends, though I would most definitely leave the cooking up to them! Both she and Rich managed to plan full dinner parties in no time at all, while planning their wedding, working full-time jobs, and getting to know each others quirks.
I really enjoyed reading this one and couldn't wait to get back to it each time I had to put it down.
I must admit, I was more than a bit impressed with Maisto's knowledge of food and cooking, though she was just entering a marriage and hadn't had all that much experience. She knows a whole lot more than I do about different cooking methods, ingredients, and dishes in general, so my reading was a learning experience that made me salivate! I couldn't wait to see what they figured out to make for dinner each night and the recipes included were such a nice touch. Things that I've never made or thought to make, but written out in such an easy-to-make manner that I am definitely going to be trying some of them...namely the Apple Cake and the Artichoke Pie. Yum!
I felt included in the engagement and wedding planning, as Maisto's writing was friendly and inclusive. Really, I think we could be all be great friends, though I would most definitely leave the cooking up to them! Both she and Rich managed to plan full dinner parties in no time at all, while planning their wedding, working full-time jobs, and getting to know each others quirks.
I really enjoyed reading this one and couldn't wait to get back to it each time I had to put it down.
November 23, 2009
a sweet surprise given that i ordered it after its appearance on the Book Design Review (a book cover critiques blog almost divorced from any mention of book content). it turned out to be a light, charming, unique account of a late 20-something woman's obsession with food & cooking, intertwined with thoughts on the nature of relationships, set in detail in new york city. williamsburg-dwelling, greenmarket-attending girlfriends, you will think at times that she wrote it just for you. (i did.) turns out Maisto writes themarketreport.net, which i realized only after seeing the book cover on the sidebar this morning.
there are some simple recipes interspersed throughout, which were fun, and i might even try one or two. but i wonder why it's so common, even among people who spend money on quality food ingredients (and time and effort cooking them), to bake from pre-made crap (i.e., recipes that call for a boxed cake/muffin mix). doesn't compute.
but anyways, as a hardcover hater, i am especially grateful that it was released straightaway in trade paperback. random house, i don't know if this means you cared less, but regardless, thank-you.
there are some simple recipes interspersed throughout, which were fun, and i might even try one or two. but i wonder why it's so common, even among people who spend money on quality food ingredients (and time and effort cooking them), to bake from pre-made crap (i.e., recipes that call for a boxed cake/muffin mix). doesn't compute.
but anyways, as a hardcover hater, i am especially grateful that it was released straightaway in trade paperback. random house, i don't know if this means you cared less, but regardless, thank-you.
December 23, 2009
This book is a story about two people who are engaged to be married and their relationship, which evolves around their love for good food. It is a mixture of recipes and stories about the couple - Michelle is Italian and Rich is Chinese and they make meals together, combining the two cooking traditions they learned from their different family backgrounds.
I'm excited to try some of the recipes in the book, like the pastina and the artichoke pie. I was amazed how the couple put together such elaborate, creative meals every night and their ongoing debates about which ingredients to use. I loved the parts about New York City and shopping around Manhattan for the best cupcake because I have definitely done this!
Towards the middle of the book I grew tired of the discussions about food and found myself skipping pages. I wish there were more stories about the couple because I wanted to know more. Overall, this was a nice light read but I wish the author had revealed more about their relationship.
I'm excited to try some of the recipes in the book, like the pastina and the artichoke pie. I was amazed how the couple put together such elaborate, creative meals every night and their ongoing debates about which ingredients to use. I loved the parts about New York City and shopping around Manhattan for the best cupcake because I have definitely done this!
Towards the middle of the book I grew tired of the discussions about food and found myself skipping pages. I wish there were more stories about the couple because I wanted to know more. Overall, this was a nice light read but I wish the author had revealed more about their relationship.
March 29, 2010
In this memoir, Michelle Maisto describes the months leading up to her wedding, and how she made a bargain with her husband-to-be: he'd take on extra freelance jobs to pay for the wedding costs, and to give him more time to work, she'd take over the cooking. As she cooks meals, Maisto remembers her childhood, how she learned about cooking in the first place from her mother, and she struggles with the idea of being a stereotypical housewife. Recipes for the things she cooks appear throughout (which is the main reason why I plan to keep the book and not pass it on to a friend to read).
This is Maisto's first full book, and I think it's mostly well done. I enjoyed it a lot because I can relate to where Maisto's coming from: she's a writer with a boring day job, trying to make healthy dinners and plan a wedding and get some exercise and still get some writing done. Ultimately (and predictably, but not annoyingly so), Maisto ends up in a good place by the end of the book, and I really loved the last few paragraphs.
This is Maisto's first full book, and I think it's mostly well done. I enjoyed it a lot because I can relate to where Maisto's coming from: she's a writer with a boring day job, trying to make healthy dinners and plan a wedding and get some exercise and still get some writing done. Ultimately (and predictably, but not annoyingly so), Maisto ends up in a good place by the end of the book, and I really loved the last few paragraphs.
July 10, 2017
Oof.
So here's the good news: Maisto is a beautiful writer. Her prose is rich and poetic, and her descriptions of food made me unbelievably hungry.
Here's the downside, though: This book is boooring. Nothing happens. There's an entire chapter dedicated to a typical trip to Chinatown and back home, and when I was through with it, I realized that under the beautiful descriptive writing, I had just read about ten pages that could be summed up as, "We went grocery shopping. Here's what we bought."
Both the author and her husband seem like lovely people, but they don't do anything to merit an entire book devoted to their eating habits. They go to work. They call their parents. They take naps. This is riveting stuff, let me tell you.
I think my biggest complaint is how misleading the title is. There is no "Gastronomy of Marriage" to discuss or analyze here; this is "What We Ate While We Were Living Together and Planning a Wedding." That's like writing a book titled, Notes from a Career As a Doctor while you're still in medical school.
So here's the good news: Maisto is a beautiful writer. Her prose is rich and poetic, and her descriptions of food made me unbelievably hungry.
Here's the downside, though: This book is boooring. Nothing happens. There's an entire chapter dedicated to a typical trip to Chinatown and back home, and when I was through with it, I realized that under the beautiful descriptive writing, I had just read about ten pages that could be summed up as, "We went grocery shopping. Here's what we bought."
Both the author and her husband seem like lovely people, but they don't do anything to merit an entire book devoted to their eating habits. They go to work. They call their parents. They take naps. This is riveting stuff, let me tell you.
I think my biggest complaint is how misleading the title is. There is no "Gastronomy of Marriage" to discuss or analyze here; this is "What We Ate While We Were Living Together and Planning a Wedding." That's like writing a book titled, Notes from a Career As a Doctor while you're still in medical school.
July 1, 2009
I was disappointed in this book. It has great reviews on Amazon, but I didn't get into the book at all until towards the end. The only reason I kept reading was because there were a few little tidbits that reminded me of my relationship with my partner and I guess I was expecting there might be something deeper coming. Those depths never really came through for me. I thought Maisto (unintentionally) painted a negative picture of her fiancé, or her relationship with him. It seemed like he was pretty condescending and she had an inferiority complex (at least in the kitchen, which was all the reader is privy to), which may be true, but since I didn't have the impression she was trying to convey this, it seemed like the story was out of the author's control.
January 3, 2010
This book was sensational. Here writing is brilliant, her recipes are fantastic, every page is filled with laughter and one can almost smell the garlic and olive oil. I also love how translatable this text is. I feel like everyone can relate to Michelle's situation- either through her large, Italian family or Rich's small, reserved family. I also love how all of her relationships revolve around food and fellowship. My favourite is when she tells her father that she had pasta fagioli with Rich, instead of independent meals, in order to prove the stability of her relationship. I appreciate her honesty regarding pre-marital nerves, creative anecdotes and colorful descriptions. I would highly recommend this book to anyone who is getting married, or who loves good food.
December 24, 2009
On the fence about giving this book 3 stars (almost gave it 2). There were some things I really enjoyed about it, but I found it a bit disjointed (didn't flow very well) and repetitive. Basic premise: it's a memoir that covers several months of the author's life after she becomes engaged and moves in with her fiance. They are both foodies to some degree and it details their compromises in the kitchen and so on. She's Italian-American, he's Chinese-American. He eats meat, she doesn't. Definitely some worthwhile stuff here; I found it nostalgic as the author's reminiscing about her family's food traditions was quite similar to memories of my own childhood.
January 26, 2010
The Gastronomy of Marriage follows Michelle and her fiance Rich as they move in together and plan their wedding. Growing up in an Italian household food was a big part of Michelle's life and it continues to be as she begins sharing her life with Rich. During their engagement Michelle begins to focus on how different she and Rich's tastes are in food and how this might play out in their marriage. My only complaint would be that she spent so much time going over the wedding planning, but the book ends before the wedding. Very well written and interspersed with a few recipes too, I really liked it overall.
November 1, 2010
I think it was the zucchinis that first caught my eye – blushing oh so brightly as they cuddle up to each other. The word ‘memoir’ inspired me to read the back cover. Then there were the factors that encouraged me to pull some pennies out of my pockets: it’s about marriage, it’s about food, and it’s based in New York. Translation: I’ll get to relate to someone about married life, maybe pick up a few cooking tips, and live vicariously through the characters’ urban adventures (yes, I feel sorry for myself for living in the burbs).
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September 3, 2014
I recall thinking this book had some structural issues and perhaps could have been arranged better but I'd have to reread it to accurately comment on that. More importantly, I loved the sweetness of the story and the author's honesty. I'm a sucker for a food-related book or film and I really enjoyed the way she weaved in all the food related memories to her personal experiences. My favorite description was of the sweet tofu dish that her fiance made for her, her in-laws and her future sister and brother in law. She really captured the joyful way food can bring us together to enjoy such a simple pleasure. All in all, this book has a special place in my heart!
January 27, 2010
Anyone in a relationship will appreciate and relate to the struggles and arguments that arise over dinner.
"What should we eat? Where should we go? You decide. I don't care, you pick." all come out of my mouth at least once a week. It takes reading another couple's compromise to realize that it does not ultimately matter, and to find that it is possible for two people to make food work for their relationship.
Mouthwatering descriptions within the memoir's text are accompanied by a couple of easy recipes with personal comments at the end of each chapter.
"What should we eat? Where should we go? You decide. I don't care, you pick." all come out of my mouth at least once a week. It takes reading another couple's compromise to realize that it does not ultimately matter, and to find that it is possible for two people to make food work for their relationship.
Mouthwatering descriptions within the memoir's text are accompanied by a couple of easy recipes with personal comments at the end of each chapter.
May 12, 2010
Great book with a witty and fun style.
It's an interesting look at the fusion of two cultures and two lives as the author and her fiancée move in together and plan their marriage. She focuses on how their relationship changes how she thinks about food and cooking. Along the way she supplies the reader with some great recipes as well (the Stuffed Eggplant is yummilicious!). If you like food and are interested in cooking then this is book is for you. Of course, even if you aren't I think a lot could be learned from her frank and honest writing about her relationship as well.
It's an interesting look at the fusion of two cultures and two lives as the author and her fiancée move in together and plan their marriage. She focuses on how their relationship changes how she thinks about food and cooking. Along the way she supplies the reader with some great recipes as well (the Stuffed Eggplant is yummilicious!). If you like food and are interested in cooking then this is book is for you. Of course, even if you aren't I think a lot could be learned from her frank and honest writing about her relationship as well.
September 20, 2016
With the idea of meal planning being a fate worse than death, every night the author and her fiancé have to decide what’s for dinner. He being a meat eating Asian and her a vegetarian Italian this leads to much discussion and several plates being prepared each evening. It was interesting to read about the evolution of the relationship as they plan the wedding. Felt a bit let down since the book ends abruptly a few weeks before the big event. It includes several recipes, but none I want to try out. Nice, easy read.
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