We Are Our Mothers' Daughters: Revised and Expanded Edition

by Cokie Roberts

“[A] paean to feminism and the solidarity of womenkind. . . . This book is a celebration of women in their various mother, sister, civil rights advocate, consumer advocate, first-class mechanic, politician—which Roberts’ own mother once was.”
— Washington Post “The perfect combination of powerful feelings and a modulated style.”
— Los Angeles Times From the much beloved Cokie Roberts comes a revised and expanded tenth-anniversary paperback edition of the #1 New York Times Bestseller We Are Our Mothers’ Daughters —complete with new profiles.

Genres: Nonfiction, Biography, Memoir, Essays, History, Feminism, Womens

336 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 1998

About the author

Cokie Roberts was an American journalist and bestselling author. Her career included decades as a political reporter and analyst for National Public Radio and ABC News, with prominent positions on Morning Edition, The MacNeil/Lehrer NewsHour, World News Tonight, and This Week.

Reviews

[Sharon Orlopp · Rating 4 out of 5]

Cokie Roberts pays homage to many great women who blazed trails so that other women could succeed. She shares stories about her mother, her sister, and many friends who personally helped her.

My favorite Cokie quote from the book is, "Life is about making good choices." If you've determined you've made a bad choice, figure out how to course correct.

[Nilguen · Rating 3 out of 5]

Hmmm, I have specifically chosen to read this book as I was influenced by Nancy Adler´s article ´I am my mother´s daughter: early developmental influences on leadership´ (2008)...a story about maternal connection in leadership. This is in consonance with the saying that goes ´The hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world´. I went to read this book to get a bit more out of the maternal connection in the context of leadership...but, I did not get what I wanted for my purposes I guess. Anyway, it is still an interesting read as it equips the reader with a myriad of examples how daughters reflect their mothers...

[Kate Runy · Rating 4 out of 5]

What I loved about this collections of essays about the role of women is the acknowledgement of the struggles of previous generations and how women dealt with those difficulties. There are a multitude of female role models in this book, ones that I was familiar with and ones I wasn't. Reading their accomplishments made me feel that I should do more to learn about the legacies of my foremothers. Also, this helped me to recognize that the fight for equal recognition is far from over. Men who keep women down because "it's their place" or because "women can't do something" are only doing a disservice to society. I only hope that my children and grandchildren will someday grow up in a world where people are judged by their abilities and not their gender.

As for comments that this book seems to endorse that women can have everything and that the assertion isn't true, I think these commenters didn't get the full message. Roberts does have a great career and a family, but she acknowledges the difficult choices she and her husband have both had to make, the need for help that they had in raising their children. She also talks about how tough it is. Women can have it all if they recognize the having it all may mean that they have to make small compromises in order to do what makes them happy and raise a family and that it made me a difficult, but fufilling road.

That opinion also ignores what Roberts ends the book wiith: women do a great job of tearing each other down. Instead of doing so, they should acknowledge that there is no one right way to "have it all." The woman who decides she should be a stay-at-home mother has made just as valid of a choice as the woman who hires a nanny so she can work or the woman who doesn't want children.

I highly recommend this book to all women.

[Danielle · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this for my 30th birthday NYT challenge and I’m so glad I did.

I cried for my sisters and my mother and my nieces and my girlfriend.

I cried that so many women have done so much and worked so hard and we get turned away and ruined and crushed at every turn.

I am so glad that Cokie Roberts didn’t live long enough to see the 2025 version of America.

[Michelle Adamo #EmptyNestReader · Rating 5 out of 5]

Anoother homage to the late Cokie Roberts-a great loss for women everywhere. May she rest in peace.

Written in a friendly, casual, almost intimate style, We Are Our Mother’s Daughters is composed of short essays sharing the experiences of Cokie Roberts herself, her friends and some history. As a member of the first generation of women post the passage of the Civil Rights Act of 1964 (in which sex is one of the protected categories) women of Roberts’ generation unwittingly became the leaders of the women of their generation; often the first or only woman in the room. Many (most?) faced criticism if they opted for a non-traditional lifestyle/career.

“A Woman’s Place is in the House... and in the Senate” is a maxim from the sixties that is just as relevant today as women everywhere continue to find their place among their various options whether stay-at-home mother, wife, politician, executive, student, etc. and struggle with the question at the heart of it all “Can women really have it all?” One thing is for certain, as women have established careers in all walks of life, they have had a tremendous impact on the lives of all of us. Women’s sermons are different than men’s sermons, women journalist approach stories differently and write about different topics than men do, etc. And, whether or not some wish to admit it, “"The advances of women have always advanced men," Dorothy Height. Roberts’ book explores women’s struggles and the double standards that women still experience. It is a true celebration of women written with an encouraging voice that all of us, but especially women, should be supportive of one another’s choices. There is no one way. There is no right way. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

My generation followed closely behind Roberts’ (I graduated college in 1975). Unlike many of the women at my time I was fortunate to have been encouraged to become involved in the women’s movement by a strong, feminist mother who was waaaay before her time in many, many things (dob 1926). "We’ve come a long way baby", but we aren’t there yet.

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[Jill · Rating 5 out of 5]

A wonderful book of essays. While it is clearly dated in some ways, it remains all too familiar in others. I’m curious to see updated statistics without expecting much change. To sum it up: a woman’s place is every where.

[Cindie]

This was the worst book my book club ever read -- and we all agreed! What a disappointment! I wish I could give it negative stars

[Dorothy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Roberts writes about the advances of women in the political and cultural milieu of our time and how these advances came as our generation (and each generation) stood on the shoulders of our mothers who struggled and sacrificed to earn respect. She writes from a very personal perspective - about her mother, her sister, her friends in the world of journalism, and about her own experiences and those of her daughter and nieces.

Roberts' journalistic attempt to be, dare I say, "fair and balanced" leads her to give equal weight in her writing to a certain female politician who is a media creation and who never had an original idea regarding the role of government and to other female politicians who have devoted their lives to public service. Many of them have suffered greatly for it. Roberts' acknowledgment of those sacrifices is a rather shallow thing.

In fact, the entire book is rather shallow in its outline of women's issues and their contributions. It is at heart a personal memoir of what she has observed and experienced. It is a pleasant read, but any reader who wants a truly serious discussion of the status of women in our society will need to look elsewhere.

[Angie Reisetter · Rating 2 out of 5]

I really wanted to like this book... I have a great deal of respect for Cokie Roberts. There were some interesting facts in there, but unfortunately I found the personal stories, how she so clearly wanted to invite all of us to live the life she had... "see, you can do it, too!"... condescending and off-putting. There was a moment -- in which she was cheerfully explaining that a woman sometimes needs to arrange her fresh flowers in the home at 3am because that's the only available time -- that I finally realized that I just have nothing at all in common with this woman. And she seemed to be convinced that were are all so similar in our womanhood. Maybe it's a generational thing. But despite my best efforts, I couldn't warm up to this book.

[Catie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Cokie Roberts' lifetime interest has been the advancement of girls and women. This short biography spotlights womens' struggles for equity in jobs and in pay, academe, sports, politics and more. Along with the broader story- a history of American women - is her personal story, a journey that women of our generation might well find resonates with their own lives.

[Cici · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved it. There were so many interesting insights to our mother's generation and intellectual development.

[Meggie]

DNF. I enjoyed Cokie Roberts on the radio and as a reporter, even sat at a banquet table with her many years ago, but I just can’t enjoy her writing or subject matter. I thought this book would be a reflection in her relationship with her mother, but itwas just an account of various people in Roberts’ life. It just wasn’t interesting enough to keep me in it.

[Milt · Rating 4 out of 5]

thank goodness

[Catherine · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really loved this book. I read it as a palate cleanser after fighting to the end of Susan Linda Nina and Cokie, a book as awkwardly written as its title. This book is a series of essays about women’s accomplishments over the past few centuries, divided into categories (e.g business.). I could hear Roberts’ distinctive voice as I read, and like everything she produced the book is both deeply researched and easy to digest. As a woman, I have to say many things in my life differ from what Roberts sees as truisms about women- I was much closer to my dad, and my best friends tend to be men. And I never felt the need to have children. But I still was inspired, fascinated, and amazed at the women Roberts talks about, not least her and her own mother. I sure miss her.

[Margaret Carmel · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a must read not just for women, but for everyone. The way that Cokie Roberts intermixes tales of women pioneers, hard working women today, and stories from her own life is a very engaging way of discussing the identity of the modern woman. When I was younger, I believed that because I would like to work that means that I can absolutely not have a family. Reading this book has shown me that it's certainly possible and not shameful to do both. The core theme of this book is that in a fully feminist realized community it's okay for women to do anything they want without fear of judgement. Want to stay home? Cool. Want to work? Fine. Want to marry? Awesome. Want to do all three? Great! That's what feminism is. Throughout the ages women have been connected to each other in ways that men have not been able to achieve. Not until recently have I truly been able to treasure my women friends, but now that I have developed a close circle of female friends in college I constantly extoll the benefits of sisterhood. Also, as an aspiring journalist I enjoyed hearing all of this wisdom from a journalists perspective. AWESOME read!

[Em · Rating 4 out of 5]

I believed this was more personal memoir than it turned out to be. I knew small bits of her life before hand and had watched her on TV on Sunday mornings since the late 80’s as part of the ‘This Week’ program. But I never knew she was originally from Louisiana or that she also worked for NPR. I admire her for many reasons, not least of which for her common sense way of approaching problems and for being married to the same man all her life and says she still loves him madly, though they had much to resolve together in their relationship. The parts I found most interesting were the stories of women who came first in taking down barriers in science, in journalism, in all paths of life and learning. I find it appalling that the stories aren’t even mentioned in school – well maybe they are now, since I’m twenty years out of classrooms. I think now I would also like to read the book Cokie and her husband Steve wrote together about their marriage.

[Veronica Schultz · Rating 3 out of 5]

This isn't the type of book I usually read, but I won tickets to hear the author speak so I figured I should read some of her books. I was surprised by how much I enjoyed it. Her writing style is very much like hearing her speak in person, and she seems like the type of person you could disagree with on everything, but still enjoy her company. I gave the book 3 stars, but it was definitely close to 4. There were a few moments with a little more snark than necessary (because really, none is necessary in this type of a book), and also a little bit of the 'us against them' attitude in regard to men and women. If it weren't for those couple of little things (and I do mean little...just a few spots, it was not happening throughout the whole book), it would have been a solid 4 stars.

Also, I would like to point out that I read the revised and expanded edition, not the one pictured here on Goodreads. However, there was no option to choose the new version.

[Sandy D. · Rating 3 out of 5]

A fun read, but not really engrossing or moving, except for a few parts where she talks about her sister who died of cancer.

I did like the arrangement, though - she alternates chapters like "Sister" with "Mechanic, First Class" and "Wife" with "Enterpriser", going back and forth between her life story (and her extended family's), and people she got to know (sometimes subjects of her stories) in the course of her career. Interesting people, fascinating history, presented in an easy to swallow manner.

The main thing that really struck me was how lucky Cokie was in terms of female support in her immediate family. Her background was also very interesting, I had no idea that her father was a congressman that disappeared during a plane flight over Alaska, or that her mother took over his seat.

[Peggy Bird · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was my book club's choice for this month after two of the group's members had seen Roberts speak. There was much to enjoy about it. The book details, in separate chapters, the roles women have historically played in fields from medicine and politics to the military and as aunts. Roberts has definitely done her research. The biggest drawback to the book, for me, is that it is uneven. Some chapters are engaging and full of both information and Roberts' personality, some seem to be a dry recitation of her research.

Still, it's worth the read for two reasons, first, to remind the reader that no matter how much we think we have made it on our own, we stand on the shoulders of some awesome women. Second, it was interesting to get a glimpse of the life of a Washington insider's daughter who becomes a Washington insider herself.

[Cheryl · Rating 2 out of 5]

I found this to be a terribly outdated memoir on a topic that has been addressed so many times that I couldn't do much more than quickly skim it for our book club.

A few telling points - - Roberts notes that after the word "wife" in the dictionary, the first definition is "a woman". In light of the new LBGTQIA movement, that doesn't quite fit.

Another telling point ---the best quote in the book came from someone else, namely Margaret Chase Smith as she states "Where is the proper place of women? ...woman's proper place is everywhere. Individually it is where the particular woman is happiest and best fitted - in the home as wives and mothers; in organized civic, business and professional groups; in industry and business, both management and labor; and in government and politics..."

Maybe I should have read Chase Smith's book instead.

[Vilo · Rating 4 out of 5]

I want to get this book in print so I can remember some of the "first woman to" references in many of these essays. The essays by journalist Cokie Roberts cover many topics of interest to women, especially the history of women's accomplishments but also stories of how family and friends support each other, how central those roles of mothers and daughters are no matter what else we are passionate about. Having seen women politicians I'm not sure that women will always be anti-war, family friendly leaders, but possibly more likely to be than men. This is by no means an anti-man book. Ms. Roberts is happily married, adored her father, loves her son and son-in-law, and shows how husbands were often their wives' biggest supporters (fathers often their daughters' biggest fans too).

[Diane Thayer · Rating 3 out of 5]

I love Cokie Roberts and bought this book after hearing her speak. (an absolutely wonderful evening) The original book was published in 1998 but, even though it has been revised and expanded, it still feels a bit dated in 2018.

It was interesting to read and learn about women who made their mark in business and society long before the advent of the women's movement. Cokie Roberts researches and writes extremely well. However, when discussing the challenges still faced by women, the 20 year time lapse, made the issue discussed feel outdated, like old news, past their prime.

Obviously women still face barriers and challenges today. This book may just no longer be a book to support and motivate us.

[Dionne · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wasn't necessarily a big Cokie Roberts fan until I discovered her books. I was excited about her Founding Mothers and Ladies of Liberty books. After finding both of those at Used Book Sales, I discovered this book, We Are Our Mothers' Daughters.

I ended up loving this book a lot more than I expected. I loved how Roberts approached the subject with all of her own personal stories, and then her highlighting all of the other women in history that were trailblazers in their fields.

I liked the balanced way Roberts approached women's roles in all aspects of life. She accurately points out that women are nurturers and that transcends all they do. I also liked that she pointed out that women shouldn't judge each other for their choices.

[Petrea]

A new edition--filled with stories of marvelous women who have accomplished so much. I learned some history of the advancement of women's rights that I hadn't realized before. These kinds of books often provoke two reactions in me---1. Why didn't I accomplish anything noteworthy? and 2. I feel a bit condescended to because I am a stay at home Mom--career women I have known tend to make me feel like that. I wish women had the right in this modern society to make that choice.

Still she's a fun writer and a delightful person.

[Liz VanDerwerken · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved this book, which appropriately enough, my mom gave me. Roberts recounts many compelling stories and vignettes of women who forged new paths and created legacies in all areas of society in America from politics and business to education and labor reform. She writes about being mothers and daughters, and ultimately nurturers and how all of these aforementioned areas are places where women belong. There is so much history packed into this one book and I found it fascinating and so very relevant.

[Stephanie · Rating 3 out of 5]

I found some of the histories Roberts explored to be fascinating. Unfortunately much of it was overshadowed by discomfort found in other places: much of what she wrote of was alienating (for example, talking about how she could overcome breast cancer because she had one of the best physicians in the country); and perhaps a focus on collective actions that lead to the social changes she attributed to individuals would have been more accurate. Though the latter are valid and fascinating, I'm not sure that telling these single stories alone is part of a truly feminist praxis.

[Amanda · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read Founding Mothers and loved it, so I decided to grab this one at the library.

To be truthful, I found this book tedious after I figured out she was just going to talk about the successful woman and not those that are out there struggling making an honest life for themselves and others. I would highly reccommend her other book "Founding Mothers" over this one. However, it was a fast read, so it didn't take much of my time.

[Granny (KiP) · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a MUST READ for women of ALL AGES. Roberts has gathered valuable information about the journey we have or are taking as women. In many ways it is a history of women, filling in some gaps for me and bringing up sweet and some bittersweet memories. But the stories are told with such warmth and depth that,...well it is just a pleasure to read.

I will add it to a list I'm compiling of must reads for my grandchildren.

[Sara · Rating 4 out of 5]

It's astonishing to learn how recently most of the changes for women have taken place, like owning our own property along with the chances for all types of careers. Even at my age, I didn't realize that just about everything we now take for granted became law in the past 60-70 years. A lot more needs to be done, of course. Cokie Roberts details many different occupations through her interviews with women who lived through and helped facilitate the changes.

[Arlene · Rating 3 out of 5]

The power of women throughout history is portrayed through essays about individual women who made a difference like Esther Peterson, consumer advocate, and Eva Oliver, first-class mechanic, as well as the women, past and present, in Cokie's family who affirmed "the bond of female solidarity" (from Jacket). This book is another must-read for young women embarking on their journeys into careers, marriages, motherhood, and this 21st century society.