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Surrounded by Vampires: How to Slay the Time, Energy and Soul Suckers in Your Life from the Bestselling Author of Surrounded By Idiots
From the Sunday Times and international bestselling author of Surrounded by Idiots
Do you often feel exhausted by conversations?
Are there people in your life with belittle you through words or actions?
Or, do you have colleagues who take up your time and don't actually do much?
You could be surrounded by vampires! International bestselling author and behavioural expert Thomas Erikson will help you recognise and deal with the four most common vampires.
Be it time, energy, attention or habit vampires, these ubiquitous social villains can leave you feeling drained and depleted. Whether they're lurking in your office, hiding amongst friends and family, or invading your thoughts, vampires can be found all around you.
Fortunately, no human or habit Vampire can survive when the sun shines on them. With the help of the behavioural model made famous in Surrounded by Idiots, Thomas Erikson will help you spot the vampires around you and find your light to vanish their influence for good.
Do you often feel exhausted by conversations?
Are there people in your life with belittle you through words or actions?
Or, do you have colleagues who take up your time and don't actually do much?
You could be surrounded by vampires! International bestselling author and behavioural expert Thomas Erikson will help you recognise and deal with the four most common vampires.
Be it time, energy, attention or habit vampires, these ubiquitous social villains can leave you feeling drained and depleted. Whether they're lurking in your office, hiding amongst friends and family, or invading your thoughts, vampires can be found all around you.
Fortunately, no human or habit Vampire can survive when the sun shines on them. With the help of the behavioural model made famous in Surrounded by Idiots, Thomas Erikson will help you spot the vampires around you and find your light to vanish their influence for good.
351 pages, Kindle Edition
Published October 5, 2023
332 people are currently reading
6333 people want to read
About the author
Thomas Erikson
39 books1,545 followersThomas Erikson is a behaviourist and the bestselling author of the Surrounded by- series about human behaviours.
The series, has been translated to close to 60 languages and has sold over 8 million copies.
His mission is to make people’s lives easier by making them more aware of themselves and help people to a better understanding of what it takes to achieve the best possible communication.
He is a highly sought-after public speaker with 120 keynotes yearly on topics such as human behaviours, self-awareness, , narcissism, and leadership.
He lives by the simple but useful quote:
You can’t change somebody else, but you can change yourself.
Thomas was writing for twenty years before finally getting published. Being an author was his dream in life, so he never gave up. Instead he tested new ideas, tweaked his writing style, learned new skills, asked professionals, worked from 03.00 in the morning for years.
No one really believed in his writing ambitions, so he had to believe in himself.
Nowadays Thomas is Sweden’s most translated author still active. Only Selma Lagerlöf and Astid Lindgren has been translated into more languages.
He has until today published twelve books – half fiction and half non-fiction – and he will continue to write as long as he breathes.
He lives on the countryside in Sweden with his wife Christina, Sweden’s biggest romance author, he runs a family business that provides online courses and master classes on all the topics he writes about in his books.
Fun fact: Thomas is a true anglophile. He is a passionate gardener, loves topiary: if he could wear tweed the full year he would. And he is s collector of old Land Rovers.
Some of them works, most of them don’t.
The series, has been translated to close to 60 languages and has sold over 8 million copies.
His mission is to make people’s lives easier by making them more aware of themselves and help people to a better understanding of what it takes to achieve the best possible communication.
He is a highly sought-after public speaker with 120 keynotes yearly on topics such as human behaviours, self-awareness, , narcissism, and leadership.
He lives by the simple but useful quote:
You can’t change somebody else, but you can change yourself.
Thomas was writing for twenty years before finally getting published. Being an author was his dream in life, so he never gave up. Instead he tested new ideas, tweaked his writing style, learned new skills, asked professionals, worked from 03.00 in the morning for years.
No one really believed in his writing ambitions, so he had to believe in himself.
Nowadays Thomas is Sweden’s most translated author still active. Only Selma Lagerlöf and Astid Lindgren has been translated into more languages.
He has until today published twelve books – half fiction and half non-fiction – and he will continue to write as long as he breathes.
He lives on the countryside in Sweden with his wife Christina, Sweden’s biggest romance author, he runs a family business that provides online courses and master classes on all the topics he writes about in his books.
Fun fact: Thomas is a true anglophile. He is a passionate gardener, loves topiary: if he could wear tweed the full year he would. And he is s collector of old Land Rovers.
Some of them works, most of them don’t.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 150 reviews
September 11, 2023
*Audiobook
“Everyone is a jerk in somebody’s story.”
I love mixing some self help books in with my regularly scheduled reading. I feel like I’m always under construction and working on myself. I’m am, as this book says…a perfectionist and a control freak amongst other not so flattering titles. 🤣😂🤣. I, like so many of my peers am constantly struggling to be something I know I’ll never be…perfect. I have a bunch of other fun character flaws too that this book drew my attention to. I feel attacked. Jk, well sort of. I def have some things to work on.
I liked the idea of this book, but I wasn’t a huge fan of the beginning of it. It almost seemed like it was a tool you could use to pick people apart and categorize them with a “pointing the finger” kind of vibe, which I didn’t like and didn’t think was productive. The book IMHO just came off very negative.
However, the direction pivoted in the 2nd 1/2 of the book, where you actually identify the type of person you’re interacting with and then determine the best course of action for engaging with them…instead of almost discriminating against their personality type because it’s not the same as yours or is a more complex personality.
There were definitely some great tips in here but I think it would’ve been better if some of the beginning was changed a bit so it was a useful tool rather than a way to wal around trying to diagnose people you don’t necessarily vibe with.
“Everyone is a jerk in somebody’s story.”
I love mixing some self help books in with my regularly scheduled reading. I feel like I’m always under construction and working on myself. I’m am, as this book says…a perfectionist and a control freak amongst other not so flattering titles. 🤣😂🤣. I, like so many of my peers am constantly struggling to be something I know I’ll never be…perfect. I have a bunch of other fun character flaws too that this book drew my attention to. I feel attacked. Jk, well sort of. I def have some things to work on.
I liked the idea of this book, but I wasn’t a huge fan of the beginning of it. It almost seemed like it was a tool you could use to pick people apart and categorize them with a “pointing the finger” kind of vibe, which I didn’t like and didn’t think was productive. The book IMHO just came off very negative.
However, the direction pivoted in the 2nd 1/2 of the book, where you actually identify the type of person you’re interacting with and then determine the best course of action for engaging with them…instead of almost discriminating against their personality type because it’s not the same as yours or is a more complex personality.
There were definitely some great tips in here but I think it would’ve been better if some of the beginning was changed a bit so it was a useful tool rather than a way to wal around trying to diagnose people you don’t necessarily vibe with.
March 12, 2024
Отново много добър и още по-полезен Томас Ериксон. Аз не спирам да го хваля от 2020 година, когато прочетох „Заобиколени от идиоти“ и още тогава заявих, че това за мен е най-полезната книга за самопомощ, която съм чел. Тогава книгата ми помогна в отношенията ми с една колежка и успя да ме накара да погледна нещата от нейната камбанария.
Ами със „Заобиколени от енергийни вампири“ Томас Ериксон ме направи от читател, който просто хареса първата му книга, в негов верен и истински фен. Книгата е безумно добра, точна, но отново ми бе и полезна – този път, благодарение на написаното, успях да си направя една самоанализа за ситуация, в която бях попаднал и човек, който не можех да разбера. В книгата се разглеждат различните типове енергийни вампири и как да ги познаем, да се научим да ги избягваме, да се спасим от тяхното присъствие или ако това е невъзможно, поне да се опитаме да се сработим с тях.
Аз лично много съм се и смял с книгата, защото Томас Ериксон пише забавно, закачливо, с много голяма доза чувство за хумор. Той ме спечели още с първите страници, защото в началото описва тип енергиен вампир, с който си имах работа прекалено дълго време и толкова коректно е описал поведението му по принцип, че останах без думи. А, когато започва да описва жълтият цвят хора, на които аз съм горд представител, как реагират на този тип енергиен вампир, искрено се смях, защото сякаш авторът ме е гледал отнякъде с камера и е записвал всички мои действия.
И за да не става прекалено дълго мнението ми тук, като съм готов изцяло с ревюто си, ще ви оставя линк към блога, ако ви е интересно да разберете с какво толкова ме впечатли, за втори път, Томас Ериксон.
Пълното ми мнение може да прочетете тук: https://www.bookadventureclub.com/202...
Ами със „Заобиколени от енергийни вампири“ Томас Ериксон ме направи от читател, който просто хареса първата му книга, в негов верен и истински фен. Книгата е безумно добра, точна, но отново ми бе и полезна – този път, благодарение на написаното, успях да си направя една самоанализа за ситуация, в която бях попаднал и човек, който не можех да разбера. В книгата се разглеждат различните типове енергийни вампири и как да ги познаем, да се научим да ги избягваме, да се спасим от тяхното присъствие или ако това е невъзможно, поне да се опитаме да се сработим с тях.
Аз лично много съм се и смял с книгата, защото Томас Ериксон пише забавно, закачливо, с много голяма доза чувство за хумор. Той ме спечели още с първите страници, защото в началото описва тип енергиен вампир, с който си имах работа прекалено дълго време и толкова коректно е описал поведението му по принцип, че останах без думи. А, когато започва да описва жълтият цвят хора, на които аз съм горд представител, как реагират на този тип енергиен вампир, искрено се смях, защото сякаш авторът ме е гледал отнякъде с камера и е записвал всички мои действия.
И за да не става прекалено дълго мнението ми тук, като съм готов изцяло с ревюто си, ще ви оставя линк към блога, ако ви е интересно да разберете с какво толкова ме впечатли, за втори път, Томас Ериксон.
Пълното ми мнение може да прочетете тук: https://www.bookadventureclub.com/202...
July 23, 2023
This book was pretty tough to get through. The writing style was good but the content was simply missing. This didn’t feel grounded in medical or scientific research. It felt like negativity and against people who were energy suckers. Which, I’m always down for commiserating and disliking people but this is supposed to be support of understanding and explanation. I felt like this fueled my dislike for these people and wasn’t helpful in any way. I didn’t even get to finish it because I found this made me feel like a worse person and not ways to continue to grow and adjust.
August 13, 2024
Als luisterboek tot mij genomen, prettig geschreven door de auteur en daardoor goed te volgen met luisteren. Naar mijn smaak erg stigmatiserend en daardoor voor mij te weinig diepgang.
Oordeel: 2,5 ster naar beneden afgerond.
Oordeel: 2,5 ster naar beneden afgerond.
October 5, 2023
I've had to read a lot of books about the workplace and personality within the workplace with my MBA program. This one stood out to me as particularly useful. I haven't read any of his others, but I expect I will now.
Firstly, the book was ust structured well. It was organized and easy to follow. It flowed and kept you engaged. I didn't think it was fluffed up so you were getting pertinent information in a smooth way.
Next, the main types of energy vampires focused on are easy to find in many offices, or even in our personal lives. The antidotes helped illustrate these characters and the approaches to handling them were, for the most part, practical. Some were a little too direct for me, but I think they could still be used.
I'm a bit of an energy vampire. I tend to like to pick ideas and everything apart. Sometimes, this disrupts creative flow and shuts others down too soon. I'm trying to work on handling it, but I like that the author talked a lot about how intent isn't always malicious. I think that's important to understand.
Overall, this is a useful and entertaining tool. You'll see a lot about the DISC assessment throughout it, but even if you are unfamiliar with the particulars, it is adequately discussed so you can follow. In fact, it's broken down quite well in the last chapter and would be an excellent read for people who want to dive into these sorts of assessments and read it used in a less vague context.
Thank you so much St. Martin's Press and Thomas Erikson for my free advanced copy. My opinion is unbiased. Happy publication week! (Released October 3)
Firstly, the book was ust structured well. It was organized and easy to follow. It flowed and kept you engaged. I didn't think it was fluffed up so you were getting pertinent information in a smooth way.
Next, the main types of energy vampires focused on are easy to find in many offices, or even in our personal lives. The antidotes helped illustrate these characters and the approaches to handling them were, for the most part, practical. Some were a little too direct for me, but I think they could still be used.
I'm a bit of an energy vampire. I tend to like to pick ideas and everything apart. Sometimes, this disrupts creative flow and shuts others down too soon. I'm trying to work on handling it, but I like that the author talked a lot about how intent isn't always malicious. I think that's important to understand.
Overall, this is a useful and entertaining tool. You'll see a lot about the DISC assessment throughout it, but even if you are unfamiliar with the particulars, it is adequately discussed so you can follow. In fact, it's broken down quite well in the last chapter and would be an excellent read for people who want to dive into these sorts of assessments and read it used in a less vague context.
Thank you so much St. Martin's Press and Thomas Erikson for my free advanced copy. My opinion is unbiased. Happy publication week! (Released October 3)
January 16, 2025
Een boek met veel blabla, het kon gerust 150 pagina’s zijn ipv 350. Hoewel het boek mooi is opgedeeld in hoofdstukken, vind ik dat er weinig structuur in zit. De schrijver springt van de hak op de tak. Deze chaotische schrijfstijl zorgt ervoor dat ik niet gemotiveerd was om te lezen en bepaalde stukken oversloeg. Thomas Erikson legt in het begin uit dat je persoonlijkheid 2 of 3 kleuren kan bevatten, maar toch linkt hij situaties maar met 1 kleur waardoor het allemaal heel stereotiep overkomt. Sorry Thomas, ik ben geen fan.
August 18, 2024
so unnecessary
November 7, 2023
Ik heb inmiddels bijna alle boeken van Thomas Erikson gelezen. Ik vind zijn boeken prachtig, inspirerend en enorm leerzaam. Dus ook dit nieuwe boek moest en zou ik graag lezen. Van Uitgeverij HarperCollins kreeg ik de kans het boek te lezen en te recenseren. Ik heb enorm hoge en goede verwachtingen en hoop weer nieuwe kennis en inzichten op te doen. Daarnaast is het boek voor mij persoonlijk nu enorm relevant en komt het precies op het juiste moment in mijn leven.
Wie kent ze niet in zijn of haar leven: energievreters. Binnen een vrij korte tijd weten deze mensen je compleet uit te putten. Ze eisen je op, je tijd, je aandacht, emoties. Zie jij er ook tegenop om met dit soort mensen om te gaan? Maar weet je niet hoe je de dynamiek op positieve wijze kan beïnvloeden? Dit boek gaat je helpen. Thomas Erikson weet met heldere inzichten en praktische tools energievreters te identificeren en uit te schakelen. Door middel van begrijpelijke modellen, testen en interessante verhalen zorgt hij ervoor dat je beter in staat bent om je eigen grenzen te bewaken. Omringd door energievreters verbindt alle voorgaande boeken uit de Omringd door-serie.
Thomas Erikson heeft een erg vermakelijke, heldere en toegankelijke schrijfstijl. Hierdoor leest zijn verhaal gemakkelijk en weet hij op eenvoudige wijze je enorm veel kennis en inzichten te geven. Naast de kennis en inzichten die hij geeft, weet hij zijn verhaal te ondersteunen met vermakelijke en leuke praktijkvoorbeelden, waardoor zijn inzichten en kennis nog duidelijker worden.
Het boek is een vervolg op al zijn voorgaande Omringd door-serie boeken. Hij start zijn verhaal in de veronderstelling dat je zijn voorgaande boeken ook gelezen hebt en komt niet meer terug op het bepalen van het kleur typen persoonlijkheid. Hij gaat er nu direct van uit dat je op de hoogte bent van je eigen kleur profiel.
Zijn verhaal is opgedeeld in verschillende hoofdstukken waarbij hij iedere keer een andere soort energievreter belicht. Hij weet deze persoonlijkheid in zijn doen en handelen enorm goed en levendig te beschrijven. Ook belicht hij duidelijk op welke vlakken deze persoon je energie kost en aan welke punten je dit type energievreter je kan herkennen. Vervolgens weet hij aan de hand van verschillende kleuren personen uit te leggen hoe je dit type energievreter het beste aan kan pakken. Ik vind het sterk dat hij goed kijkt naar het type persoon dat jij bent en hoe het voor jou het beste werkt om met een persoon om te gaan. Ook is te lezen dat verschillende kleurtypes bepaalde energievreters anders ervaren.
Naast de verschillende typen energievreters belicht Thomas Erikson ook andere punten in ons leven die je onnodig en nutteloze energie kosten en waar je waarschijnlijk aan de hand van zijn eenvoudige en duidelijke stappen korte metten mee kan maken. Tot slot volgt nog een hoofdstuk met verschillende kleuren die elkaar het meest energie kosten. Zo is voor mij als blauw-rode persoonlijkheid een gele persoonlijkheid die me het meeste energie kost. Ook hierbij weet Thomas Erikson weer heldere stappen en uitleg te geven hoe ik hier mee om moet gaan.
Omringd door energievreters is een enorm leerzaam, inspirerend en goed boek dat me een hoop nieuwe inzichten heeft gebracht. Het boek is een vervolg op zijn voorgaande, omringd door boeken. Het is wel handig om die eerst te lezen, want hij gaat er in dit boek vanuit dat je de kennis hebt van de verschillende kleuren persoonlijkheden. Naast alle inzichten heb ik ook veel tools en handvatten meegekregen om in de toekomst anders met de energievreters in mijn leven om te gaan. Enorm inspirerend en goed boek, absoluut een aanrader!
Wie kent ze niet in zijn of haar leven: energievreters. Binnen een vrij korte tijd weten deze mensen je compleet uit te putten. Ze eisen je op, je tijd, je aandacht, emoties. Zie jij er ook tegenop om met dit soort mensen om te gaan? Maar weet je niet hoe je de dynamiek op positieve wijze kan beïnvloeden? Dit boek gaat je helpen. Thomas Erikson weet met heldere inzichten en praktische tools energievreters te identificeren en uit te schakelen. Door middel van begrijpelijke modellen, testen en interessante verhalen zorgt hij ervoor dat je beter in staat bent om je eigen grenzen te bewaken. Omringd door energievreters verbindt alle voorgaande boeken uit de Omringd door-serie.
Thomas Erikson heeft een erg vermakelijke, heldere en toegankelijke schrijfstijl. Hierdoor leest zijn verhaal gemakkelijk en weet hij op eenvoudige wijze je enorm veel kennis en inzichten te geven. Naast de kennis en inzichten die hij geeft, weet hij zijn verhaal te ondersteunen met vermakelijke en leuke praktijkvoorbeelden, waardoor zijn inzichten en kennis nog duidelijker worden.
Het boek is een vervolg op al zijn voorgaande Omringd door-serie boeken. Hij start zijn verhaal in de veronderstelling dat je zijn voorgaande boeken ook gelezen hebt en komt niet meer terug op het bepalen van het kleur typen persoonlijkheid. Hij gaat er nu direct van uit dat je op de hoogte bent van je eigen kleur profiel.
Zijn verhaal is opgedeeld in verschillende hoofdstukken waarbij hij iedere keer een andere soort energievreter belicht. Hij weet deze persoonlijkheid in zijn doen en handelen enorm goed en levendig te beschrijven. Ook belicht hij duidelijk op welke vlakken deze persoon je energie kost en aan welke punten je dit type energievreter je kan herkennen. Vervolgens weet hij aan de hand van verschillende kleuren personen uit te leggen hoe je dit type energievreter het beste aan kan pakken. Ik vind het sterk dat hij goed kijkt naar het type persoon dat jij bent en hoe het voor jou het beste werkt om met een persoon om te gaan. Ook is te lezen dat verschillende kleurtypes bepaalde energievreters anders ervaren.
Naast de verschillende typen energievreters belicht Thomas Erikson ook andere punten in ons leven die je onnodig en nutteloze energie kosten en waar je waarschijnlijk aan de hand van zijn eenvoudige en duidelijke stappen korte metten mee kan maken. Tot slot volgt nog een hoofdstuk met verschillende kleuren die elkaar het meest energie kosten. Zo is voor mij als blauw-rode persoonlijkheid een gele persoonlijkheid die me het meeste energie kost. Ook hierbij weet Thomas Erikson weer heldere stappen en uitleg te geven hoe ik hier mee om moet gaan.
Omringd door energievreters is een enorm leerzaam, inspirerend en goed boek dat me een hoop nieuwe inzichten heeft gebracht. Het boek is een vervolg op zijn voorgaande, omringd door boeken. Het is wel handig om die eerst te lezen, want hij gaat er in dit boek vanuit dat je de kennis hebt van de verschillende kleuren persoonlijkheden. Naast alle inzichten heb ik ook veel tools en handvatten meegekregen om in de toekomst anders met de energievreters in mijn leven om te gaan. Enorm inspirerend en goed boek, absoluut een aanrader!
July 28, 2024
This book really brought in all different kinds of energy thiefs and explained how different people might react to those, depending on which color you are. (You can be either red, green, yellow or blue or a combination of a few.)
Reading this you will learn about the perfectionist, the drama queen, the adult bully, the passive aggressive, the victim who demands constant attention, the narcissist and a few, less serious, energy thiefs. At the end of each chapter the writer has left a few suggestions of how you can handle these kinds of people. The only thing that bothered me was that, sometimes, the author seemed to think that it’s your responsibility to “fix” those people, which it’s not.
However, I will definitely come back and reread certain chapters, both to understand others and myself better. (Myself in question of how I handle certain situations and why I act the way I do)
Reading this you will learn about the perfectionist, the drama queen, the adult bully, the passive aggressive, the victim who demands constant attention, the narcissist and a few, less serious, energy thiefs. At the end of each chapter the writer has left a few suggestions of how you can handle these kinds of people. The only thing that bothered me was that, sometimes, the author seemed to think that it’s your responsibility to “fix” those people, which it’s not.
However, I will definitely come back and reread certain chapters, both to understand others and myself better. (Myself in question of how I handle certain situations and why I act the way I do)
July 21, 2023
Jópofa, tanulságos könyv, számomra inkább önismereti.
Kb. mindannyian valakinek a vámpírjai vagyunk :)
Kb. mindannyian valakinek a vámpírjai vagyunk :)
April 9, 2025
Was leuk en interessant maar vond surrounded by idiots wel beter!
June 30, 2023
Erikson uses a four color behavior code to classify personalities and how they might react to some of the energy vampires. (I have read other books that define this term, and this book is somewhat different.) He discusses perfectionists, drama queens, bullies, passive-aggressive behavior, eternal victims, narcissists, whiners, and know-it-alls. Thanks to Netgalley and the publisher for the ARC.
January 22, 2024
I was expecting more ways to learn how to protect myself from energy suckers, but this was not the case for me. If you are familiar with the DISC personalities it is possible you will get a lot of very good information. Not knowing my color I was not able to identify well with any of the help/solutions, and the information that is provided on the colors is at the back of the book after you have read everything else. This placement does not make sense to me. I did recognize several of the energy vampire types that are explained in the book. There is excellent information on self awareness and how at times we end up being the energy vampires to ourselves and others. That being said, this includes good habit building as a way to not waste time and I say skip this section of the book and read Atomic Habits by James Clear instead.
Thank you NetGalley and St. Martin's Press for my copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.
Thank you NetGalley and St. Martin's Press for my copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.
December 15, 2023
Do you hate all the people in your life - from partner, friends to boss and employees? If not, you will by the time you finish this book.
The author has a primary color coding system - red, blue, yellow, green. Each one corresponds to a diagnosable mental health disorder, but he insists, these people are sub-diagnosable. He then goes on to describe the most deplorable, irritating and negative traits of each type. The problem is that everyone you’ve ever encountered and even yourself will exhibit some of these traits.
It just felt really icky the whole time and especially depressing.
The author has a primary color coding system - red, blue, yellow, green. Each one corresponds to a diagnosable mental health disorder, but he insists, these people are sub-diagnosable. He then goes on to describe the most deplorable, irritating and negative traits of each type. The problem is that everyone you’ve ever encountered and even yourself will exhibit some of these traits.
It just felt really icky the whole time and especially depressing.
November 16, 2023
Thank you to NetGalley and St. Martin's Press for the eGalley to review!
This is the second Thomas Erikson book I've read and it is definitely consistent with my first (Surrounded by Narcissists). Erikson has a very informal, practically unfiltered approach to describing the types of people the book is themed around. That is to say, he has personal stories and personal takes on top of his professional ones and he is not afraid to express his disdain for these types of people--in this case, "energy vampires". "Energy vampires" are just people who like to suck all your good mood, energy, and motivation right out of you just by simply being themselves. There are several types of these "vampires" and Erikson explains each type in turn and gives case studies to help the reader better understand what each type looks like out there in the wild.
This book also incorporates his favorite system for personality types of colors (think Type A, Type B, etc. but with Red, Blue, etc). It's how he explains how readers of certain personality types can deal with certain types of "energy vampires". He also makes a point to separate the vampire personality types from diagnoses like obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) and psychopathy as, while they share a surface level similarity, they are not the same. Narcissism seems to be an exception here as being an "energy vampire" is just part of the way narcissists function with how they interact with and use people for their own ego. This separation is a fine line to tread and for the most part, I do think Erikson handled it well. Some people are just jerks. Some people just don't recognize that they are "energy vampires". This book just tells you, the reader, how to recognize the signs and how to respond appropriately.
I think the most important part of the book is the recognition that YOU can be your own energy vampire. Erikson advises how you can take steps to be more self-aware and stop getting in your own way, even if it's an embarrassing process. I appreciate that.
So if you feel like you might be in the midst of an "energy vampire", I'd give this book a look. You may learn something new about yourself, if anything.
This is the second Thomas Erikson book I've read and it is definitely consistent with my first (Surrounded by Narcissists). Erikson has a very informal, practically unfiltered approach to describing the types of people the book is themed around. That is to say, he has personal stories and personal takes on top of his professional ones and he is not afraid to express his disdain for these types of people--in this case, "energy vampires". "Energy vampires" are just people who like to suck all your good mood, energy, and motivation right out of you just by simply being themselves. There are several types of these "vampires" and Erikson explains each type in turn and gives case studies to help the reader better understand what each type looks like out there in the wild.
This book also incorporates his favorite system for personality types of colors (think Type A, Type B, etc. but with Red, Blue, etc). It's how he explains how readers of certain personality types can deal with certain types of "energy vampires". He also makes a point to separate the vampire personality types from diagnoses like obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) and psychopathy as, while they share a surface level similarity, they are not the same. Narcissism seems to be an exception here as being an "energy vampire" is just part of the way narcissists function with how they interact with and use people for their own ego. This separation is a fine line to tread and for the most part, I do think Erikson handled it well. Some people are just jerks. Some people just don't recognize that they are "energy vampires". This book just tells you, the reader, how to recognize the signs and how to respond appropriately.
I think the most important part of the book is the recognition that YOU can be your own energy vampire. Erikson advises how you can take steps to be more self-aware and stop getting in your own way, even if it's an embarrassing process. I appreciate that.
So if you feel like you might be in the midst of an "energy vampire", I'd give this book a look. You may learn something new about yourself, if anything.
April 28, 2024
Ik vond het geen bijzonder sterk boek, eigenlijk.
Er stonden herkenbare situatieschetsen in, waarvan ik er ook zéker een aantal in mijn leven ken of heb gekend. Passief-agressieven: absoluut. Drama queens: ik lijk ze aan te trekken. Zelfverklaard martelaars: het is verschrikkelijk. De echte narcisten lijk ik nog niet tegengekomen te zijn, maar een aantal uitspraken die genoemd werden hadden zo die van m'n moeder kunnen zijn.
Uiteraard herkende ik ook mezelf in een aantal korte omschrijvingen, vooral die van de pechvogel. Natuurlijk is alle pech niet expres, maar het is wel opvallend dat het dan weer mij overkomt en niet een ander. Iets met op tijd grenzen aangeven en naïviteit 😅🙃.
Er stonden een paar wijze tips en adviezen in, zoals "meer pauze/rust nemen" want ik heb inderdaad de neiging door te denderen. Hypocriet genoeg is dat weer mislukt nadat ik het vanochtend las en het mij voornam.
Maar over het algemeen blijft het een beetje oppervlakkig. Ik had meer verwacht, zeker omdat Erikson zo vaak die kleuren benoemt. Uit welke (gemengde) kleuren bestaat zo'n specifieke energievreter nu en wie trekken ze aan? Er wordt wel een kort hoofdstuk aan besteed waarin per kleur benoemd wordt wat je nu aantrekt en hoe je er op moet reageren, en hoe ze op jou reageren, maar dat is veel te oppervlakkig t.o.v. de uitgebreide hoofdstukken.
Overigens is 'verbaal incontinent' vanaf nu mijn favoriete metafoor. En het DUMB-doelen ipv SMART vind ik ook een briljante zet.
Al met al een ok boek om gelezen te hebben, maar hij sprong er voor mij niet uit. De meeste dingen die hij omschrijft zijn common sense, of heb ik elders al gelezen. En dat PTSS ontstaat door disfunctionele relaties is ook niet volledig juist, dat vind ik eigenlijk ook wel een minpunt…
Er stonden herkenbare situatieschetsen in, waarvan ik er ook zéker een aantal in mijn leven ken of heb gekend. Passief-agressieven: absoluut. Drama queens: ik lijk ze aan te trekken. Zelfverklaard martelaars: het is verschrikkelijk. De echte narcisten lijk ik nog niet tegengekomen te zijn, maar een aantal uitspraken die genoemd werden hadden zo die van m'n moeder kunnen zijn.
Uiteraard herkende ik ook mezelf in een aantal korte omschrijvingen, vooral die van de pechvogel. Natuurlijk is alle pech niet expres, maar het is wel opvallend dat het dan weer mij overkomt en niet een ander. Iets met op tijd grenzen aangeven en naïviteit 😅🙃.
Er stonden een paar wijze tips en adviezen in, zoals "meer pauze/rust nemen" want ik heb inderdaad de neiging door te denderen. Hypocriet genoeg is dat weer mislukt nadat ik het vanochtend las en het mij voornam.
Maar over het algemeen blijft het een beetje oppervlakkig. Ik had meer verwacht, zeker omdat Erikson zo vaak die kleuren benoemt. Uit welke (gemengde) kleuren bestaat zo'n specifieke energievreter nu en wie trekken ze aan? Er wordt wel een kort hoofdstuk aan besteed waarin per kleur benoemd wordt wat je nu aantrekt en hoe je er op moet reageren, en hoe ze op jou reageren, maar dat is veel te oppervlakkig t.o.v. de uitgebreide hoofdstukken.
Overigens is 'verbaal incontinent' vanaf nu mijn favoriete metafoor. En het DUMB-doelen ipv SMART vind ik ook een briljante zet.
Al met al een ok boek om gelezen te hebben, maar hij sprong er voor mij niet uit. De meeste dingen die hij omschrijft zijn common sense, of heb ik elders al gelezen. En dat PTSS ontstaat door disfunctionele relaties is ook niet volledig juist, dat vind ik eigenlijk ook wel een minpunt…
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
August 15, 2023
Surrounded by Energy Vampires is a non-fiction resource that furthers the ideas discussed in the author’s previous book, Surrounded by Idiots. This book breaks down the different types of “energy vampires” one might encounter not only at their place of work but throughout any part of their daily life. The author gives examples of how to diffuse various situations and better understand each type of “vampire”.
While the book is broken down by different types of “energy vampires” and their supporting material, the chapters are quite long. I would highly suggest annotating as you read to help further divide up each section. This will make it much easier to find anything you may want to come back to.
Surrounded by Energy Vampires is a valuable asset for anyone working in an office environment.
I voluntarily read and reviewed an advanced copy of this book. All thoughts and opinions are my own. Thank you to Netgalley and St. Martin’s Essentials!
While the book is broken down by different types of “energy vampires” and their supporting material, the chapters are quite long. I would highly suggest annotating as you read to help further divide up each section. This will make it much easier to find anything you may want to come back to.
Surrounded by Energy Vampires is a valuable asset for anyone working in an office environment.
I voluntarily read and reviewed an advanced copy of this book. All thoughts and opinions are my own. Thank you to Netgalley and St. Martin’s Essentials!
July 27, 2025
To start off, this is the first self-help book I read, and honestly, I found it pretty helpful. What I liked is that even the author admits we shouldn’t take the DISC theory too seriously, it’s just one of many ways to look at human behavior. He even says himself there are hundreds of other behavior theories out there, and this one is more about making things easier to understand by using colors.
If I had one comment, it’s that I wish the examples weren’t so focused on work. Personally, I think the biggest energy vampires are usually the people closest to you like family, close friends, and etc. So it would’ve been more relatable if it included more of that.
The chapters I liked the most were the ones about bullies, narcissists, passive-aggressive people, and eternal victims. The advice in those parts was super practical and actually stuck with me.
If I had one comment, it’s that I wish the examples weren’t so focused on work. Personally, I think the biggest energy vampires are usually the people closest to you like family, close friends, and etc. So it would’ve been more relatable if it included more of that.
The chapters I liked the most were the ones about bullies, narcissists, passive-aggressive people, and eternal victims. The advice in those parts was super practical and actually stuck with me.
September 26, 2023
Thank you to the publisher for a free copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. All thoughts and opinions expressed in this review are my own.
This book was quite dry for me. I struggled to get through it due to being extremely bored. This was especially disappointing for me because the topic is an interesting one, the writing just made it seem dull.
I don't agree with all the things stated in this book. However, there are some things in this book that I thought were pretty good. In my opinion, this book would be better for self-reflection than actually dealing with Energy Vampires.
This book was quite dry for me. I struggled to get through it due to being extremely bored. This was especially disappointing for me because the topic is an interesting one, the writing just made it seem dull.
I don't agree with all the things stated in this book. However, there are some things in this book that I thought were pretty good. In my opinion, this book would be better for self-reflection than actually dealing with Energy Vampires.
June 7, 2024
⭐️3.5
Very very very informative. But so difficult for me to finish, even though I love this subject it was difficult for me to really get in it. I think the book isn’t for my current life situation yet and therefore it was hard for me. But this was very informative and I liked learning about it. It is very relatable and I especially find the almost last part of the book very interesting where it’s more about behavior and communication and what is socially intelligence ect.
Very very very informative. But so difficult for me to finish, even though I love this subject it was difficult for me to really get in it. I think the book isn’t for my current life situation yet and therefore it was hard for me. But this was very informative and I liked learning about it. It is very relatable and I especially find the almost last part of the book very interesting where it’s more about behavior and communication and what is socially intelligence ect.
March 27, 2025
I found Surrounded by Energy Vampires to be an incredibly funny and relatable guide to recognizing and dealing with those people who seem to drain your energy faster than a phone on 1%. The author introduces a clever color-coded system that breaks down the different types of “energy vampires” — from those dramatic coworkers who thrive on chaos to friends who somehow turn every conversation into a never-ending monologue. Packed with real-life examples and practical advice, this book is as entertaining as it is useful.
While some chapters do drag a little, they’re totally manageable, and the overall content is definitely worth sticking with. Even through the occasional slow section, the tips on setting healthy boundaries and protecting your energy are absolute gold. If you’re tired of feeling emotionally drained and ready to reclaim your peace, Surrounded by Energy Vampires is an invaluable resource to help you do just that.
A huge thank you to NetGalley, the publisher, and the author for providing me with an advance copy to read — it’s a game-changer!
While some chapters do drag a little, they’re totally manageable, and the overall content is definitely worth sticking with. Even through the occasional slow section, the tips on setting healthy boundaries and protecting your energy are absolute gold. If you’re tired of feeling emotionally drained and ready to reclaim your peace, Surrounded by Energy Vampires is an invaluable resource to help you do just that.
A huge thank you to NetGalley, the publisher, and the author for providing me with an advance copy to read — it’s a game-changer!
August 27, 2024
Een goed geschreven boek met veel interessante informatie over energievreters en hoe daarmee om te gaan. Omdat ik de eerdere boeken van Thomas Erikson (nog?) niet gelezen heb, mis ik context waarop hij in dit boek voortbouwt. In een van de laatste hoofdstukken wordt beschreven hoe je je eigen energievreter kunt zijn inclusief handvaten om daar iets aan te doen.
March 27, 2025
Mam problem z oceną tej książki z jednej strony zasługuje ona na 4⭐️ - za przejrzystość i ilość wiedzy którą przekazuje - ale z drugiej strony skłamalabym mówiąc że przez cały czas mój poziom zainteresowania i zaangażowania był na wysokim poziomie
Dodatkowo momentami czułam że autor pragnie wyjaśnić pewne zagadnienie (tworząc dla nich wręcz odrębne podrozdziały) a koniec końców pozostawały one nadal w pewnej niejasnej i ogólnikowej formie
Stąd ostatecznie oceniłabym ją na 3,5 ⭐️
Dodatkowo momentami czułam że autor pragnie wyjaśnić pewne zagadnienie (tworząc dla nich wręcz odrębne podrozdziały) a koniec końców pozostawały one nadal w pewnej niejasnej i ogólnikowej formie
Stąd ostatecznie oceniłabym ją na 3,5 ⭐️
April 10, 2024
This book is very easy to read and understand with realistic examples and vampires, one has to deal with in their daily life. I recommend you guys tho to read Surrounded by idiots first as this books mentions the DISC model quite often.
Now I know how to not let me suck dry from energy vampires and avoid those goofy a** people🤓☝🏽
Now I know how to not let me suck dry from energy vampires and avoid those goofy a** people🤓☝🏽
July 24, 2024
I have enjoyed all the "surrounded by" books I have read thus far and I must admit that this was one of my favorites. The title is a bit deceiving as only a small portion of the book is focused on that, it goes into how we are our own "energy vampires" and how knowing our weak areas can help us. I liked the section on introverts and extroverts and the parts where it talked about how to deal with someone of a conflicting color. I plan to purchase the book and re-read different parts.
September 15, 2024
Veldig interresant og fin bok. Jeg har lært mye om energityver og hvordan de er/oppfører seg. Jeg har blitt bedre meg selv og min væremåte, og hvorfor andres væremåter er som de er - hvis det ga mening?
January 24, 2025
Sommige energievreters waren zo extreem neergezet dat ze niet heel herkenbaar waren. Andere waren wel weer wat herkenbaarder. Meest interessant was toepassing van DISC theorie en hoe energievretende interacties tussen kleur types kunnen worden verzacht.
December 27, 2023
Fijn vervolg op omringd door idioten. Handige tips voor jezelf en in de omgang met anderen. Ik heb er alleen minder uit gehaald dan uit het eerste boek, omdat er ook herhaling in zat. 3,5 ster.
March 24, 2024
Dit gaat over hoe je van de energiezuigers in je leven en in je werkleven af kunt komen. En over de verschillende soorten energiezuigers die je in je leven kunt tegenkomen en hoe je ermee om kunt gaan.
November 20, 2024
In dit boek van Thomas Erikson leer je hoe je mensen die je emotioneel uitputten kunt herkennen. Het geeft je handvatten om ermee om te gaan en biedt eventuele oplossingen. Een ideaal boek voor iedereen die moeite heeft met relaties en vriendschappen waarin ze constant leeggezogen worden.
Volledige review: https://sophiedebrabander.be/review-o...
Volledige review: https://sophiedebrabander.be/review-o...
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