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Spent: Break the Buying Obsession and Discover Your True Worth
Leading psychologist and financial commentator Palaian offers a tested, step-by-step guide to help people break the spending obsession by looking within.
Today, Americans are saving less, carrying larger debt loads, losing their homes to foreclosure, and filing bankruptcy in record numbers. Yet, people continue to spend more than they can afford.The advice of financial planners only treats the symptoms of overspending. In Spent, Sally Palaian offers proven plans for taking on a range of personal issues with money by examining those underlying emotional, familial, and societal factors that trigger spending behaviors.Spent teaches readers to control shopping, pay off debt, develop budgets, and become financially competent assessment tools designed to pinpoint the severity of a problemquestionnaires that facilitate the exploration of the root causes of unhealthy financial behaviorsuser-friendly exercise created to influence change from withinPalaian's system for financial recovery is also designed to help hoarders, financial codependents, and underachievers attain lasting, positive change and a healthy view of one's true value in life.Leading psychologist and financial commentator Sally Palaian offers a tested, step-by-step guide to help people break the spending obsession by looking within. She has spoken about financial disorders for various therapy associations and has served as an expert in the media on mental disorders and spending, most recently for MSN Money.
Today, Americans are saving less, carrying larger debt loads, losing their homes to foreclosure, and filing bankruptcy in record numbers. Yet, people continue to spend more than they can afford.The advice of financial planners only treats the symptoms of overspending. In Spent, Sally Palaian offers proven plans for taking on a range of personal issues with money by examining those underlying emotional, familial, and societal factors that trigger spending behaviors.Spent teaches readers to control shopping, pay off debt, develop budgets, and become financially competent assessment tools designed to pinpoint the severity of a problemquestionnaires that facilitate the exploration of the root causes of unhealthy financial behaviorsuser-friendly exercise created to influence change from withinPalaian's system for financial recovery is also designed to help hoarders, financial codependents, and underachievers attain lasting, positive change and a healthy view of one's true value in life.Leading psychologist and financial commentator Sally Palaian offers a tested, step-by-step guide to help people break the spending obsession by looking within. She has spoken about financial disorders for various therapy associations and has served as an expert in the media on mental disorders and spending, most recently for MSN Money.
240 pages, Paperback
First published March 25, 2009
177 people are currently reading
291 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 18 of 18 reviews
January 21, 2021
This book was so helpful to me. It’s hard to admit especially because it seems so silly but I’m definitely a spending addict. I really needed a kick in the right direction and I think this was it. It helped me see the truth and start on a path to recover. Glad I read this and will refer to it for a long time. Also the workbook that was free to download with it was wonderful!
May 18, 2020
Overall - the book has some great ideas - the author is knowledgeable - but it's too simple. It is more like a survey and a starting point than a comprehensive guide.
The author does an excellent job at explaining the problems and what they look like with examples. She also goes in depth about various types of money addict behaviors.
The book helps the reader determine that its a problem; how severe the problem is; what it looks like. So the book does well with the reader finding identification of the problem and proof of why it is a problem.
The problem is that there is no depth into her concepts. For example she explains that compulsive shoppers have multiple forms such as the image shopper, the binge-shopper, the perfectionist shopper, the collection shopper, etc. She doesn't go into depth about these specific versions - I wanted to learn more about them because only having 1-2 paragraphs for each was just not enough for me to really figure out which ones I suffer from.
Basically I wanted a lot more on the psychology background. She compares it briefly to alcohol addiction with a very generic connection between the two. Truth is money addiction is far more complex in my opinion.
The book addresses in the beginning that mental illness can be an underlying problem but then the rest of the book ignores this factor. For example, I have bipolar disorder. I have both a money addiction related to mania but I spend year-round even when I'm not manic. Which leads me to believe that its much more than just mania. This weird dynamic is extremely important but a short book just can't deep-dive into this. Unfortunately there *are no other resources* that address mental illness and overshopping specifically. Also, a person with anxiety, ADHD or OCD is not going to do well with the methods that the author suggests to do during the recovery process.
One final thing not mentioned is people with disabilities who cannot work at all. I found it difficult to read that she believes some people are addicted to being financially dependent without addressing that some people are forced into being dependent. This doesn't address that some people are incapable of working or ever having *enough* so overspending might be a problem simply because their budget will *never* allow them to make ends meet or have anything extra. I think these are extremely important to mention.
The solutions she gives are things that are probably going to be overwhelming to a person who is a compulsive anxious obsessive person. I have already tried all money management techniques she describes; obsessively logging my spending and analyzing my spending trends, creating budgets and adjusting them, and keeping a spending journal. I already knew a lot of the reasons why I overspend so this wasn't enlightening. The solution section does make up more than half the book but within the solutions I didn't find any real chance of healing. She states that trauma is the underlying source but doesn't address how to recover. It was a lot of this for the solution: "ask yourself this question and that question"... lots and lots of questions for self-understanding but what do I do afterwards? I already known how to self-reflect.
The section on identifying triggers was helpful - not a new concept to me but a reminder to apply it to spending.
I skipped the section on how overspending affects relationships: anyone picking up this book already knows it affects their relationships otherwise why would they bother reading it unless they are an isolated completely independent person. This section seems like it was injected for the reader who was forced to read it by someone to prove to them that it hurts the other person.
I think that the author has a lot of understanding and history helping people with shopping/money addictions but unfortunately a short book explaining what it is and skimming over ideas on how to will oneself to stop isn't going to truly help someone like counseling. I am realizing that I will need to address the underlying trauma and really deep-dive into this with my own counselor who may be able to objectively see insights that I haven't seen already, help me heal while finding better coping mechanisms in the process.
A money addict reader will likely not find a winning solution here unless they have figured out a way to solve their problem by just following a lot of steps which involve willing oneself to do them. Since addicts by nature have difficulty with self-will this makes a lot of the book not helpful without a counselor or empathetic outside support to help remind the money addict of things when they become irrational.
I will probably skim through it and write down some of the tips that I think will help me the most but will skip past the obsessive budgeting and journaling logging. I will probably go through and answer some of the questions for self-reflection to see if there are things I hadn't considered.
I will focus more on reading Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Dialectical Behavioral Therapy books which will give me the more in depth tools to help me with my compulsive behavior.
The author does an excellent job at explaining the problems and what they look like with examples. She also goes in depth about various types of money addict behaviors.
The book helps the reader determine that its a problem; how severe the problem is; what it looks like. So the book does well with the reader finding identification of the problem and proof of why it is a problem.
The problem is that there is no depth into her concepts. For example she explains that compulsive shoppers have multiple forms such as the image shopper, the binge-shopper, the perfectionist shopper, the collection shopper, etc. She doesn't go into depth about these specific versions - I wanted to learn more about them because only having 1-2 paragraphs for each was just not enough for me to really figure out which ones I suffer from.
Basically I wanted a lot more on the psychology background. She compares it briefly to alcohol addiction with a very generic connection between the two. Truth is money addiction is far more complex in my opinion.
The book addresses in the beginning that mental illness can be an underlying problem but then the rest of the book ignores this factor. For example, I have bipolar disorder. I have both a money addiction related to mania but I spend year-round even when I'm not manic. Which leads me to believe that its much more than just mania. This weird dynamic is extremely important but a short book just can't deep-dive into this. Unfortunately there *are no other resources* that address mental illness and overshopping specifically. Also, a person with anxiety, ADHD or OCD is not going to do well with the methods that the author suggests to do during the recovery process.
One final thing not mentioned is people with disabilities who cannot work at all. I found it difficult to read that she believes some people are addicted to being financially dependent without addressing that some people are forced into being dependent. This doesn't address that some people are incapable of working or ever having *enough* so overspending might be a problem simply because their budget will *never* allow them to make ends meet or have anything extra. I think these are extremely important to mention.
The solutions she gives are things that are probably going to be overwhelming to a person who is a compulsive anxious obsessive person. I have already tried all money management techniques she describes; obsessively logging my spending and analyzing my spending trends, creating budgets and adjusting them, and keeping a spending journal. I already knew a lot of the reasons why I overspend so this wasn't enlightening. The solution section does make up more than half the book but within the solutions I didn't find any real chance of healing. She states that trauma is the underlying source but doesn't address how to recover. It was a lot of this for the solution: "ask yourself this question and that question"... lots and lots of questions for self-understanding but what do I do afterwards? I already known how to self-reflect.
The section on identifying triggers was helpful - not a new concept to me but a reminder to apply it to spending.
I skipped the section on how overspending affects relationships: anyone picking up this book already knows it affects their relationships otherwise why would they bother reading it unless they are an isolated completely independent person. This section seems like it was injected for the reader who was forced to read it by someone to prove to them that it hurts the other person.
I think that the author has a lot of understanding and history helping people with shopping/money addictions but unfortunately a short book explaining what it is and skimming over ideas on how to will oneself to stop isn't going to truly help someone like counseling. I am realizing that I will need to address the underlying trauma and really deep-dive into this with my own counselor who may be able to objectively see insights that I haven't seen already, help me heal while finding better coping mechanisms in the process.
A money addict reader will likely not find a winning solution here unless they have figured out a way to solve their problem by just following a lot of steps which involve willing oneself to do them. Since addicts by nature have difficulty with self-will this makes a lot of the book not helpful without a counselor or empathetic outside support to help remind the money addict of things when they become irrational.
I will probably skim through it and write down some of the tips that I think will help me the most but will skip past the obsessive budgeting and journaling logging. I will probably go through and answer some of the questions for self-reflection to see if there are things I hadn't considered.
I will focus more on reading Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Dialectical Behavioral Therapy books which will give me the more in depth tools to help me with my compulsive behavior.
September 22, 2011
Reading a book that tells me not to spend money or use my credit card, makes me really want to spend money and use my credit card.
February 11, 2021
Some very good advice in here!
June 8, 2019
Super informative
I really loved this book! I was searching for something to do with spending addictions, as I am one who struggles hard with spending habits. The information she talks about in the book is so helpful! I found a lot of clarity and understanding as to why and how this progresses and the signs to be aware of and the effects it has on relationships, etc. Thank you so much for this great tool!!!
I really loved this book! I was searching for something to do with spending addictions, as I am one who struggles hard with spending habits. The information she talks about in the book is so helpful! I found a lot of clarity and understanding as to why and how this progresses and the signs to be aware of and the effects it has on relationships, etc. Thank you so much for this great tool!!!
August 10, 2022
I read this book when I was really struggling with overspending and desperately looking for some insight and help. While the author does a good job of shining a light on the various motivations for compulsively shopping/spending, I would disagree that this was done in a "compassionate" manner. I personally felt pretty terrible after finishing this book.
Given when this book was written, I think it makes perfect sense for it to frame things the way it does. I seem to remember that time period as being especially saturated with consumerism that largely went unquestioned, so the content of this book would have probably been a breath of fresh air to some. However, I think by the time I read it, it was showing its age and a lot of the advice was consequently oversimplified and outdated.
Given when this book was written, I think it makes perfect sense for it to frame things the way it does. I seem to remember that time period as being especially saturated with consumerism that largely went unquestioned, so the content of this book would have probably been a breath of fresh air to some. However, I think by the time I read it, it was showing its age and a lot of the advice was consequently oversimplified and outdated.
June 15, 2025
This was a good read, but not my favorite. I have read quite a few books that are related to not just dealing with spend habit but the concepts of minimalism, as I am curious about that lifestyle.
May 16, 2018
I found this book more insightful than I thought it would be; I’m dubious of “discovering my true worth.” BUT. The author talks about underlying issues of over-/ under-spending, the key one being shame. Simple advice for developing better financial habits, not very jargonny.
July 25, 2021
While this book contains a lot of great information. I wouldn't exactly recco0mend it. The reason why is simple. It was written in 2008 for 2008 money problems. Sooo yeah, I suggest buying a more recent book but if this is all you have it's great for getting started!
November 13, 2017
Thought there would be more discussion of psychology and the development of consumerism in society. Instead I️t was just a self help book. Also got very repetitive by the end.
March 11, 2023
amazing book
The book gives strategies to address over spending . For the first time I feel empowered re my finances .
The book gives strategies to address over spending . For the first time I feel empowered re my finances .
abandoned
November 27, 2025Abandoned it because 50 pages in and feels like this book is showing its age. I wanna read something that can help me in 2025.
December 28, 2013
Overall, I liked the book. I felt like it was very accurate and detailed, and it spoke to some of the problems I have with money. But it got a little boring and seemed to drag on. I ended up skimming/skipping a few sections. It will be helpful to those who are similar in spending habits to me.
August 24, 2013
I liked learning about the different types of problems at first, but I feel like it dragged on for too long. By the time I decided to skip over the rest of the intro explaining and dive into part two, sorting through everything, I was disinterested in reading any further.
September 5, 2017
I found this a very helpful book to deal with my overspending habits. The author looks at multiple psychological profiles for spending issues, works to come up with a plan to actively work on those issues, and how to go forward to heal.
October 14, 2009
Even if you aren't 'addicted' to shopping this book can help to examine spending habits and improve your relationship with money. In this economy it certainly can't hurt!
August 7, 2012
Did not find a lot of a-ha moments on this one.
July 3, 2013
Patron Review:
A good guide to identifying why you feel the way you do about money. I feel that each person makes their own choices about their financial responsibility levels.
A good guide to identifying why you feel the way you do about money. I feel that each person makes their own choices about their financial responsibility levels.
Displaying 1 - 18 of 18 reviews