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Suckers
Masters of the comedy thriller genre, J.A. Konrath and Jeff Strand, team up for the humorous horror novella Suckers.
Strand's perpetually unlucky character Andrew Mayhem, star of the novels Graverobbers Wanted (No Experience Necessary), Single White Psychopath Seeks Same, and Casket For Sale (Only Used Once), sets off on a simple mission at the request of his Get some spaghetti sauce.
On his way to the store he meets Konrath's obnoxious private eye Harry McGlade, co-star of the Lt. Jack Daniels thrillers Whiskey Sour, Bloody Mary, Rusty Nail, Dirty Martini, Fuzzy Navel, and Cherry Bomb.
Horrific violence, bad jokes, and lots of name calling soon ensues. Some sex, too, but not between the main characters.
Originally, published as a very expensive limited-edition hardcover, Suckers is now available as a super cheap ebook.
But the fun doesn't stop there.
Also included in this ebook are six other Mayhem and McGlade stories, many of them rare and long out of print.
Whelp Wanted - JA Konrath
Poor Career Choice - Jeff Strand
Taken to the Cleaners - JA Konrath
A Bit of Halloween Mayhem - Jeff Strand
The Necro File - JA Konrath
The Lost (For a Good Reason) Adventure of Andrew Mayhem - Jeff Strand
If that's not enough to get you to part with your pocket change, this ebook also includes two brand new introductions written by the authors, and an exclusive Strand/Konrath interview.
That's over 53,000 words worth of demented entertainment, for half the price of a kiddie meal at that fast food restaurant with the scary clown. It's also 1/3 of the calories. Plus, it's specially formatted for Kindle, with an active table of contents. Not active in the sense it will mow your lawn or fetch you a beer, but it's clickable and looks pretty.
Some of the jokes (mostly Konrath's) push the boundaries of good taste. Don't buy this if you're easily offended.
You also get a bonus excerpt from the hilarious novel, My Gun Has Bullets, by Lee Goldberg.
Here's what critics and bestselling authors have to
"JA Konrath is the greatest writer who ever lived!" -- Jeff Strand, published author of Benjamin's Parasite
"No, no, Jeff Strand is way better!" -- JA Konrath, published author of Whiskey Sour
"I officially withdraw my previous quote based on new information provided by JA Konrath's quote. Jeff Strand is the greatest writer who ever lived!" -- Jeff Strand, published author of The Sinister Mr. Corpse
"Of course, Jack Kilborn is better than both of us combined and mixed with a side helping of the Bronte sisters." -- JA Konrath, published author of the more mediocre half of Suckers
"Well, duh." -- Jeff Strand, published author of the half of Suckers that's okay, sort of, if your expectations aren't too high.
Strand's perpetually unlucky character Andrew Mayhem, star of the novels Graverobbers Wanted (No Experience Necessary), Single White Psychopath Seeks Same, and Casket For Sale (Only Used Once), sets off on a simple mission at the request of his Get some spaghetti sauce.
On his way to the store he meets Konrath's obnoxious private eye Harry McGlade, co-star of the Lt. Jack Daniels thrillers Whiskey Sour, Bloody Mary, Rusty Nail, Dirty Martini, Fuzzy Navel, and Cherry Bomb.
Horrific violence, bad jokes, and lots of name calling soon ensues. Some sex, too, but not between the main characters.
Originally, published as a very expensive limited-edition hardcover, Suckers is now available as a super cheap ebook.
But the fun doesn't stop there.
Also included in this ebook are six other Mayhem and McGlade stories, many of them rare and long out of print.
Whelp Wanted - JA Konrath
Poor Career Choice - Jeff Strand
Taken to the Cleaners - JA Konrath
A Bit of Halloween Mayhem - Jeff Strand
The Necro File - JA Konrath
The Lost (For a Good Reason) Adventure of Andrew Mayhem - Jeff Strand
If that's not enough to get you to part with your pocket change, this ebook also includes two brand new introductions written by the authors, and an exclusive Strand/Konrath interview.
That's over 53,000 words worth of demented entertainment, for half the price of a kiddie meal at that fast food restaurant with the scary clown. It's also 1/3 of the calories. Plus, it's specially formatted for Kindle, with an active table of contents. Not active in the sense it will mow your lawn or fetch you a beer, but it's clickable and looks pretty.
Some of the jokes (mostly Konrath's) push the boundaries of good taste. Don't buy this if you're easily offended.
You also get a bonus excerpt from the hilarious novel, My Gun Has Bullets, by Lee Goldberg.
Here's what critics and bestselling authors have to
"JA Konrath is the greatest writer who ever lived!" -- Jeff Strand, published author of Benjamin's Parasite
"No, no, Jeff Strand is way better!" -- JA Konrath, published author of Whiskey Sour
"I officially withdraw my previous quote based on new information provided by JA Konrath's quote. Jeff Strand is the greatest writer who ever lived!" -- Jeff Strand, published author of The Sinister Mr. Corpse
"Of course, Jack Kilborn is better than both of us combined and mixed with a side helping of the Bronte sisters." -- JA Konrath, published author of the more mediocre half of Suckers
"Well, duh." -- Jeff Strand, published author of the half of Suckers that's okay, sort of, if your expectations aren't too high.
246 pages, Kindle Edition
First published March 23, 2011
171 people are currently reading
731 people want to read
About the author
J.A. Konrath
198 books3,016 followersJoe Konrath has written over twenty novels in the Lt. Jacqueline "Jack" Daniels thriller series. They do not have to be read chronologically to be enjoyed, but the order is: Whiskey Sour, Bloody Mary, Rusty Nail, Dirty Martini, Shot of Tequila, Fuzzy Navel, Cherry Bomb, Dead On My Feet, Serial Killers Uncut (with Blake Crouch), Shaken, Stirred (with Blake Crouch), Dying Breath, Everybody Dies, Rum Runner, Last Call, White Russian, Shot Girl, Chaser, Old Fashioned, Bite Force, and Witch Brew. More coming soon.
Wow, that's a lot of Jack.
If you like your thrillers on the dark side, check out the Konrath Dark Thriller Collective, which includes the books The List, Origin, Afraid, Trapped, Endurance, Haunted House, Webcam, Disturb, What Happened To Lori, The Nine, Second Coming, and Close Your Eyes.
Joe also wrote the Stop A Murder mystery puzzle series, where you become the sleuth and solve brain teasers to try and catch a killer.
He also wrote the sci-fi trilogy, Timecaster, Timecaster Supersymmetry, and Timecaster Steampunk. Even if you don't think you like sci-fi, give them a try. They feature Joe's well-known characters from his other series, and are insane.
With Ann Voss Peterson he wrote the Codename: Chandler thrillers, including Flee, Spree, Three, Hit, Exposed, Naughty, Fix (with F. Paul Wilson), Rescue, and Free.
And, finally, he writes erotica under the pen name Melinda DuChamp, also with Ann Voss Peterson. Those books are probably too spicy for you, so only the brave and bold should seek them out.
Joe writes a lot. You should probably read everything.
You can visit Joe and sign up for his newsletter at www.JAKonrath.com/mailing-list.php
Wow, that's a lot of Jack.
If you like your thrillers on the dark side, check out the Konrath Dark Thriller Collective, which includes the books The List, Origin, Afraid, Trapped, Endurance, Haunted House, Webcam, Disturb, What Happened To Lori, The Nine, Second Coming, and Close Your Eyes.
Joe also wrote the Stop A Murder mystery puzzle series, where you become the sleuth and solve brain teasers to try and catch a killer.
He also wrote the sci-fi trilogy, Timecaster, Timecaster Supersymmetry, and Timecaster Steampunk. Even if you don't think you like sci-fi, give them a try. They feature Joe's well-known characters from his other series, and are insane.
With Ann Voss Peterson he wrote the Codename: Chandler thrillers, including Flee, Spree, Three, Hit, Exposed, Naughty, Fix (with F. Paul Wilson), Rescue, and Free.
And, finally, he writes erotica under the pen name Melinda DuChamp, also with Ann Voss Peterson. Those books are probably too spicy for you, so only the brave and bold should seek them out.
Joe writes a lot. You should probably read everything.
You can visit Joe and sign up for his newsletter at www.JAKonrath.com/mailing-list.php
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 59 reviews
May 3, 2013
I laughed my ass off through most of this collection of alternating short stories. There were a couple of scenes where giddiness overcame me and I had to put the thing down to catch my breath. A very solid read for fans of off the wall, zany humor. These guys do it right.
January 12, 2012
"Suckers" introduced me to the writing of J.A. Konrath and Jeff Strand, and the titular novella and various short stories available in this kindle bundle were a hoot. Yes, a hoot--as in I laughed aloud a few times, grinned a lot more than that, and shook my head on more than one occasion when the juvenile humor really took a nose dive.
I can't say that I wasn't warned: in his introduction to this collection, Konrath is clear about the authorial intentions that he brought to each story; ditto for Strand. Still, some of the hijinks that these two put their characters through surprised me--and, even, grossed me out a few times. The fact that these two go for as much humor as they do impresses me, as I don't often find this kind of thing in the horror genre. Some of this humor is so low that I just have to hand it to these guys for jumping right into dumbshit territory all for a few giggles. Along with timing, comedy takes commitment, and Konrath and Strand bring the latter to their work with a six-year-old's enthusiasm and penchant for poop and penis jokes.
I read this to be entertained and to laugh, and "Suckers" scored on both fronts. For this kindle edition, Konrath and Strand also threw in half a dozen short stories, two introductions, and an interview--all of which only added to the fun.
On that note, score another for online books and the variety that they can offer.
I can't say that I wasn't warned: in his introduction to this collection, Konrath is clear about the authorial intentions that he brought to each story; ditto for Strand. Still, some of the hijinks that these two put their characters through surprised me--and, even, grossed me out a few times. The fact that these two go for as much humor as they do impresses me, as I don't often find this kind of thing in the horror genre. Some of this humor is so low that I just have to hand it to these guys for jumping right into dumbshit territory all for a few giggles. Along with timing, comedy takes commitment, and Konrath and Strand bring the latter to their work with a six-year-old's enthusiasm and penchant for poop and penis jokes.
I read this to be entertained and to laugh, and "Suckers" scored on both fronts. For this kindle edition, Konrath and Strand also threw in half a dozen short stories, two introductions, and an interview--all of which only added to the fun.
On that note, score another for online books and the variety that they can offer.
November 20, 2020
A hilarious comedy-horror team-up packaged with loads of extra goodies.
Wise-cracking trouble magnet Andrew Mayhem teams up with the slovenly smartarse Harry McGlade to take on some bloodsucking freaks in a gonzo suburban nightmare. This book also features a bunch of awesome Mayhem and McGlade solo stories, including ‘The Necro File,’ which is hands-down the funniest short story I’ve ever read.
As far as collaborations go, this one is awesome. Often when two writers work together something seems to go wrong, and you end up with a confused bastard of a book that doesn’t seem to represent the signature style of either author. That is not the case with Suckers. In this story, not only do Strand and Konrath retain their unique voices, but those voices are combined in a game of friendly comedic one-upmanship that results in some truly funny moments. For an example, check out the meta-textual stuff that happens towards the end. Hilarious!
If you want to laugh your arse off, check this book out.
Wise-cracking trouble magnet Andrew Mayhem teams up with the slovenly smartarse Harry McGlade to take on some bloodsucking freaks in a gonzo suburban nightmare. This book also features a bunch of awesome Mayhem and McGlade solo stories, including ‘The Necro File,’ which is hands-down the funniest short story I’ve ever read.
As far as collaborations go, this one is awesome. Often when two writers work together something seems to go wrong, and you end up with a confused bastard of a book that doesn’t seem to represent the signature style of either author. That is not the case with Suckers. In this story, not only do Strand and Konrath retain their unique voices, but those voices are combined in a game of friendly comedic one-upmanship that results in some truly funny moments. For an example, check out the meta-textual stuff that happens towards the end. Hilarious!
If you want to laugh your arse off, check this book out.
August 9, 2017
It's no secret that I think Jeff Strand is an absolute genius and a master of his genre. The images he creates in the reader's mind is vivid and very, very funny. So much so, I found myself lying in bed, all the lights off, no noise, about to fall asleep, when one of these images popped up in my head and started a giggling fit. The third time this happened, my wife was annoyed to no end.
Hey, let's be clear about something, very much like Andrew Mayhem I also have a healthy fear of my beautiful wife. It's not about being whipped or cowardly, but this is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, and she knows exactly when and where you sleep, as well the location of any sharp objects in the house.
I'm just saying...
This was my introduction to Konrath, another pleasant surprise in this year of discovery with my Kindle.
How refreshing it must be to write a character like Harry McGlade, a not very intelligent PI who has all the worst possible personality traits you can find in a man. While the humor may be a bit more juvenile than Strand, you can enjoy it greatly if you make peace with the entertainment value of the stories.
And, Mr. Konrath, your story THE NECRO FILE is either the funniest sick story or the sickest funny story I've ever read -- had me laughing my ass off while cringing on the inside. Loved it!
Hey, let's be clear about something, very much like Andrew Mayhem I also have a healthy fear of my beautiful wife. It's not about being whipped or cowardly, but this is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, and she knows exactly when and where you sleep, as well the location of any sharp objects in the house.
I'm just saying...
This was my introduction to Konrath, another pleasant surprise in this year of discovery with my Kindle.
How refreshing it must be to write a character like Harry McGlade, a not very intelligent PI who has all the worst possible personality traits you can find in a man. While the humor may be a bit more juvenile than Strand, you can enjoy it greatly if you make peace with the entertainment value of the stories.
And, Mr. Konrath, your story THE NECRO FILE is either the funniest sick story or the sickest funny story I've ever read -- had me laughing my ass off while cringing on the inside. Loved it!
July 30, 2013
LOL collection by JA Konrath (aka. Kilborn), and Jeff Strand. Infusing some of their individual primary characters into the same storyline. As in any collection, some were top quality, and others just okay. Overall, I got a lot of enjoyment from this book, and it encouraged me to seek out other works of theirs. :)
January 6, 2023
I only wish I could give this more stars, I truly loved this book so very much.
Why did this not become a series of books? It should have become a series of books.
I may even form a religion over it.
Why did this not become a series of books? It should have become a series of books.
I may even form a religion over it.
May 26, 2022
No amusing, not funny. Jokes for an 8 year old.
July 30, 2013
Hahaha! LOVE THESE GUYS!!!!
You gotta love two horror/thriller authors who have a terrific sense of humour and are capable of embedding it in their books. I am a huge fan of both Konrath and Strand and would be hard-pressed to be critical of their work. They have both created memorable (if not sometimes loathsome, dopey, but adorable) characters. These 7 stories are a great introduction to Harry McGlade and Andrew Mayhem. If you love sarcasm and fart humour mixed together, you will love the play between these two, especially seen in the last story, SUCKERS. Anybody who can write lines like "I'm not here to talk. I'm here to cut myself a slice of bitch", or wanting a woman who was"awake enough to fight me off and tell me no. Because No means try harder", or create characters who own "brass knuckles with a microchip inside that played Pat Benatar when I socked somebody" and who creates a tombstone for the other with the epitaph " Fucker's dead. Throw some dirt on him. Let's go play some poker" have to be some awesome guys. Enjoy!
You gotta love two horror/thriller authors who have a terrific sense of humour and are capable of embedding it in their books. I am a huge fan of both Konrath and Strand and would be hard-pressed to be critical of their work. They have both created memorable (if not sometimes loathsome, dopey, but adorable) characters. These 7 stories are a great introduction to Harry McGlade and Andrew Mayhem. If you love sarcasm and fart humour mixed together, you will love the play between these two, especially seen in the last story, SUCKERS. Anybody who can write lines like "I'm not here to talk. I'm here to cut myself a slice of bitch", or wanting a woman who was"awake enough to fight me off and tell me no. Because No means try harder", or create characters who own "brass knuckles with a microchip inside that played Pat Benatar when I socked somebody" and who creates a tombstone for the other with the epitaph " Fucker's dead. Throw some dirt on him. Let's go play some poker" have to be some awesome guys. Enjoy!
August 13, 2016
Suckers Hmm. This was a tough book to rate for me. I really enjoyed Jeff Strands chapters, Andrew Mayhem will always be a favorite character of mine, but this was my second time reading J.A. Konrath and I'm still not a fan. Harry McGlade was just so unlikable, and I get it we're not suppose to like him, but I can't read a book about a character that I wish somebody would shove off a cliff and enjoy myself. I need at least one redeeming character trait or some background character that's likeable. So if I had to rate this based on the stories with just Andrew Mayhem, it would be a 4 1/2. Based on just the Harry McGlade stories, it would be a 1/2 star and possibly a DNF. The final story including both characters I would have rated a three. If you take the average of those three numbers, you get 2.66666, but since this site doesn't allow you to be that specific, I rounded up to three stars.
June 4, 2018
Book is what happens when self published authors with fifth grade funny bones write. Stupid short stories by two authors with the same Rythym when writing. It gets tiresome. I like either of these guys when they are seriously writing. You get a lol touch of humor instead this knee slapping nudge nudge wink wink every sentence. Lastly ja konrath no one with an MP3 player uses spare batteries. What hole did you crawl out of? Guy has spent too long with his discman needs to join the real world or at least do research before he talks about tech he doesn’t understand.
April 22, 2011
This book of short stories and the novella, Suckers, is inappropriately funny. I mean this in the worse way. The only comparison I can find is laughing at porn at a funeral where one of the main participants in the porn is the person you are there to mourn.
That being said, I really enjoyed it. I will never look at anything to do with a dead body in quite the same way, but I wasn't quite right to being with.
That being said, I really enjoyed it. I will never look at anything to do with a dead body in quite the same way, but I wasn't quite right to being with.
August 21, 2015
Juvenile antics. Check. Unlikely situations. Check. Occasionally cringeworthy humor. Check. Smile a lot while reading. Check. Laugh out loud while reading. Check. It's fair to say that J.A. and Jeff seem to exhibit similar traits as regards what they consider amusing, and that said I doubt this book would be everyone's cup of tea, but personally I found it hysterically entertaining.
January 21, 2020
You know the phrase, “too much of a good thing”? I’m a Jeff Strand fan and I like snark as much as the next person. But I appreciate it more when used sparingly.
Both Strand and Konrath (who is new to me) have similar styles and their decision to team up and produce a book of short stories devolved into a contest of snark and one-liners. When nearly every line of dialog contains a snarky response, the “art form” loses its originality. I like pizza but wouldn’t want it for every meal every day (maybe that’s a bad example ‘cause I REALLY love pizza). Although the stories were short, the book as a whole was one very long comedy routine with the story lines seemingly secondary.
Both Strand and Konrath (who is new to me) have similar styles and their decision to team up and produce a book of short stories devolved into a contest of snark and one-liners. When nearly every line of dialog contains a snarky response, the “art form” loses its originality. I like pizza but wouldn’t want it for every meal every day (maybe that’s a bad example ‘cause I REALLY love pizza). Although the stories were short, the book as a whole was one very long comedy routine with the story lines seemingly secondary.
February 24, 2019
I love the Harry McGlade character. I would love for there to be full length novels for the character but with Konrath's ability to weave many of his characters into multiple stories, I get my fix of Harry in each book. This is a laugh out loud story and I love the fact that as it is told from Harry's POV, it reads like a 50s detective novel with quotable internal monologues albeit highly inappropriate ones!
February 2, 2024
Nope, not my thing
I developed a strong distaste for the exceedingly grotesque McGlade years ago so happily fast- forwarded through all stories in which he sullied the pages; from there, hoping Strand would save the day, it became quite easy to ff through his tales as well. Sorry guys, I generally like your work, but not this time.
I developed a strong distaste for the exceedingly grotesque McGlade years ago so happily fast- forwarded through all stories in which he sullied the pages; from there, hoping Strand would save the day, it became quite easy to ff through his tales as well. Sorry guys, I generally like your work, but not this time.
November 26, 2020
Excellent!
That book was funny as hell! I already knew Jeff Stand and his Andrew Mayhem stories (which are excellent) and I had the pleasure to discover the mad word of J.A. Konrath. Those are a perfect match!
That book was funny as hell! I already knew Jeff Stand and his Andrew Mayhem stories (which are excellent) and I had the pleasure to discover the mad word of J.A. Konrath. Those are a perfect match!
March 20, 2021
My First Time Reading Strand and Konrath
And I'm hooked! If you like sarcasm mixed sex, drugs, and crazy misadventures, you're in luck! Strand and Konrath deliver it all and more!
And I'm hooked! If you like sarcasm mixed sex, drugs, and crazy misadventures, you're in luck! Strand and Konrath deliver it all and more!
May 11, 2017
Wildly entertaining. Every story was a laugh!
June 11, 2018
Now I need to read Jeff Strand books.
November 5, 2018
A bite size treat of horror loving humor!
August 20, 2021
A lighthearted story so funny
August 5, 2022
Loved it
This was one of the most entertaining books I have read for awhil.e. I would recommend for anyone who enjoys a good laugh
This was one of the most entertaining books I have read for awhil.e. I would recommend for anyone who enjoys a good laugh
November 6, 2023
Not my favorite, but funny.
The stories weren't all that creepy, in my opinion, However I did find the humor great and the stories were fun.
The stories weren't all that creepy, in my opinion, However I did find the humor great and the stories were fun.
February 3, 2024
Fun romp with Harry & Andrew! So much fun!
March 6, 2024
Fun little comedic horror novella
January 21, 2025
Stupid. Ridiculous. Brilliant. See full review: https://theakersquarterly.blogspot.co...
January 29, 2020
Suckers
I read this book because I am a fan of J.A. Konrath and Jeff
Strand.
I knew this book would be silly and goofy. I was not disappointed.
I guess that makes me a sucker.
I read this book because I am a fan of J.A. Konrath and Jeff
Strand.
I knew this book would be silly and goofy. I was not disappointed.
I guess that makes me a sucker.
July 27, 2024
A compilation of shorts where Andrew & Roger met in grade schools and the first encounter of Andrew and Harry McGlade. Over the top and funny and interesting for the back story of these characters. I absolutely love Konrath's "Jack Daniels" series and Strands "Andrew Mayhem" series so it was a good book of fresh information on their backstories.
June 24, 2013
The plot of Draculas is pretty straight forward in it’s set up. A rich, elderly, billionaire named Moorecook is dying, and upon hearing of the discovery of a supposed vampire skull in Romania, he buys it and ships it back to the United States. Desperate to live, he plunges the fanged skull’s teeth into his neck. He collapses and is rushed to the local emergency room, a rural hospital in a small town. Then the craziness begins as he wakes up and the vampirism spreads like wildfire. We have a hospital filled with ‘draculas’ and a cast of characters trying to stay alive.
The main lead characters are Clay, a gun obsessed sheriff’s deputy, Randall, a recovering alcoholic lumberjack, and his ex-wife and nurse Jenny. There are multiple other characters fighting for survival, but these are the main protagonists. The draculas for the most part are not mindless creatures running around, true there are some like that, but the authors make a fair few of them into characters in their own rights. You get to hear their inner monologues, like the little girl, Oasis, who wants everyone to share their ‘red candy’ with her. Unquestionably my favorite of these was Benny the Clown. A vampiric clown immediately conjures some images in your head, but after following the appearances of Benny the writers do so much more with him. Dark, funny and above all fantastically entertaining. I kept waiting for his next appearance. There was a great deal of creativity put into the draculas and giving them individual characteristics and traits.The main villain of the piece aside from the original dracula, Moorecook , is Dr. Lanz, an arrogant obnoxious surgeon who maintains more of his cunning after being turned and uses it to his advantage.
There are some genuinely creepy moments, especially with vampire children and Jenny desperately trying to protect the pediatric ward from the hungry vamps. Not to mention expectant mother Stacie, who picked the worst time ever to go into labor…Throughout the book there is tons of gore, not only do the draculas rip people to shreds but they’ll also happily eat each other and even themselves, it gives new meaning to finger food. These are not the Twilight vampires, and they don’t just have some little fangs, but have completely different shaped skulls and teeth that rip through their old faces. The book is dripping in blood, body parts and splatter. The gruesome action is near constant throughout the book, and there is plenty of black humor. As the entire book is set in the hospital and it’s a series of cat and mouse scenes between the draculas and the uninfected, it does drag towards the end and my interest was waning. It could have done with being a bit shorter or with some more variety to the setting and action.
As you can see by the enormous title of this blog post, it is a collaboration between four authors, and where you might think this could be jarring when it’s a continuous story being shared between authors, but I found it completely seemless. I’m not sure how they divided it up. The eBook contains lots more material beyond the main story itself. It’s like getting Blu-ray extras, deleted scenes alternate endings, author interviews and some additional shorts. Overall a fun read that I recommend, but it could have done with a little something extra.
7/10
The main lead characters are Clay, a gun obsessed sheriff’s deputy, Randall, a recovering alcoholic lumberjack, and his ex-wife and nurse Jenny. There are multiple other characters fighting for survival, but these are the main protagonists. The draculas for the most part are not mindless creatures running around, true there are some like that, but the authors make a fair few of them into characters in their own rights. You get to hear their inner monologues, like the little girl, Oasis, who wants everyone to share their ‘red candy’ with her. Unquestionably my favorite of these was Benny the Clown. A vampiric clown immediately conjures some images in your head, but after following the appearances of Benny the writers do so much more with him. Dark, funny and above all fantastically entertaining. I kept waiting for his next appearance. There was a great deal of creativity put into the draculas and giving them individual characteristics and traits.The main villain of the piece aside from the original dracula, Moorecook , is Dr. Lanz, an arrogant obnoxious surgeon who maintains more of his cunning after being turned and uses it to his advantage.
There are some genuinely creepy moments, especially with vampire children and Jenny desperately trying to protect the pediatric ward from the hungry vamps. Not to mention expectant mother Stacie, who picked the worst time ever to go into labor…Throughout the book there is tons of gore, not only do the draculas rip people to shreds but they’ll also happily eat each other and even themselves, it gives new meaning to finger food. These are not the Twilight vampires, and they don’t just have some little fangs, but have completely different shaped skulls and teeth that rip through their old faces. The book is dripping in blood, body parts and splatter. The gruesome action is near constant throughout the book, and there is plenty of black humor. As the entire book is set in the hospital and it’s a series of cat and mouse scenes between the draculas and the uninfected, it does drag towards the end and my interest was waning. It could have done with being a bit shorter or with some more variety to the setting and action.
As you can see by the enormous title of this blog post, it is a collaboration between four authors, and where you might think this could be jarring when it’s a continuous story being shared between authors, but I found it completely seemless. I’m not sure how they divided it up. The eBook contains lots more material beyond the main story itself. It’s like getting Blu-ray extras, deleted scenes alternate endings, author interviews and some additional shorts. Overall a fun read that I recommend, but it could have done with a little something extra.
7/10
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
October 4, 2011
After stumbling across Endurance almost by accident, I have been hard pressed to find a J.A. Konrath novel or story (aside from Wild Night Is Calling) that has failed to impress me. With each publication of his I read, it becomes increasingly more obvious that Konrath, along with Tim Curran, is among one of the most highly skilled, yet ridiculously underrated authors of our modern times. And while Konrath’s (and his more serious pseudonym, Kilborne) novels are always top-notch, it’s his short stories that have yet to fail me in entertainment value.
“Suckers” is no different. Wether it’s the politically correct and morally obtuse Harry McGlade, or the sarcastic and pessimistic ways he uses to describe them, to the dark humor and laughable dialogue, Konrath is in top form. I love when authors have the guts to meld both humor and horror together, but other than Nick Spaulding in his truly absurd short, Spine Slaughter, it’s a rare feat few manage to achieve. Konrath is a master at making the reader cringe and laugh at the same time (and not in the disgusting and over done prose of Ed Lee). I mean, what other author would have the skill to manage to mix milking cows and dead people together in a way that works so well.
The same could be said for the other author here: Jeff Strand. I’ve seen his name around on the horror circuit, but up until this point, I’d never bothered to read any of his published works. Shame on me! Strand’s skills may not be as good as Konrath’s, and his humor comes off as forced at times (read the short “A Bit of Halloween Mayhem” to see what I’m talking about) but even so, like Konrath, here’s a guy who’s not afraid to push the envelope when it comes to a genre that is usually over done and lacks any originality (hello, Leisure Publishing).
I tend to stray off the beaten path when it comes to popular fiction for this reason alone. It’s this lesser-known, yet more skillful writers that fill the indie and self published circuit. Sure, they won’t ever become as popular as Harlen Coben, or James Patterson, or even the horror master himself, Stephen King, but hey, that’s ok with me. You don’t have to be famous to be a great author. Seriously folks, this is a great collection. If the product description isn’t enough to make you laugh at the absurdity, then at least give this one a sample. You won’t be disappointed.
“Suckers” is no different. Wether it’s the politically correct and morally obtuse Harry McGlade, or the sarcastic and pessimistic ways he uses to describe them, to the dark humor and laughable dialogue, Konrath is in top form. I love when authors have the guts to meld both humor and horror together, but other than Nick Spaulding in his truly absurd short, Spine Slaughter, it’s a rare feat few manage to achieve. Konrath is a master at making the reader cringe and laugh at the same time (and not in the disgusting and over done prose of Ed Lee). I mean, what other author would have the skill to manage to mix milking cows and dead people together in a way that works so well.
The same could be said for the other author here: Jeff Strand. I’ve seen his name around on the horror circuit, but up until this point, I’d never bothered to read any of his published works. Shame on me! Strand’s skills may not be as good as Konrath’s, and his humor comes off as forced at times (read the short “A Bit of Halloween Mayhem” to see what I’m talking about) but even so, like Konrath, here’s a guy who’s not afraid to push the envelope when it comes to a genre that is usually over done and lacks any originality (hello, Leisure Publishing).
I tend to stray off the beaten path when it comes to popular fiction for this reason alone. It’s this lesser-known, yet more skillful writers that fill the indie and self published circuit. Sure, they won’t ever become as popular as Harlen Coben, or James Patterson, or even the horror master himself, Stephen King, but hey, that’s ok with me. You don’t have to be famous to be a great author. Seriously folks, this is a great collection. If the product description isn’t enough to make you laugh at the absurdity, then at least give this one a sample. You won’t be disappointed.
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