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No More Headaches: Enjoying Sex & Intimacy in Marriage
Both husbands and wives can be extremely frustrated by the differences in sexual needs and expectations between them. This frustration manifests itself as fighting, resentment, feelings of either guilt or rejection, and general marital strife. There are few safe and appropriate places to ask the questions about sex that frustrate and confuse women most. In "No More Headaches," Juli Slattery provides that place with honest answers that target women's specific needs. Her warm and compassionate style come through as she examines the underlying issues that prevent couples from having a satisfying sex life. Helping husbands and wives understand and address the sexual relationship with their spouse will improve the marriage by reducing stress and frustration in that area, which will reduce stress in other areas of marriage as well. Each chapter contains questions for reflection and questions for couples to discuss. Juli Slattery has extensive experience speaking to women about marriage, parenting, and family issues at retreats and conferences as well as on television and radio.
224 pages, Paperback
First published July 16, 2009
35 people are currently reading
242 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 17 of 17 reviews
August 24, 2009
I read No More Headaches: Enjoying Sex and Intimacy in Marriage in a about a week, which for me as rather quickly. I found myself captured by the realness of this book and couldn't find it in myself to put it down. I think it goes to show how much women really need a book like this in dealing with the know hows of understanding sex in a God centered marriage relationship. Author Juli Slattery has done a great job discussing the sensitive subject of sex by communicating a little more than her own hurts and frustrations. Sex is not the easiest subject to understand and talk with each other about, but in this book ways are suggested to approach it cautiously. Through scripture and real life stories the reader is shown several different approaches in their own behavior to help heal & mend their own personal sexual relationship. You'll find issues dealing with pornography, a man's sex drive, fatigue, children, boredom, past sexual issues, your body, and more. Sorry guys, this book is written for women, though I am sure a man could definitely learn a thing or two. Ladies, if your spouse is interested, you could go through the chapters together and talk about the various information found throughout this book. I think it's good for not only women to understand the differences of man but also for men to understand the differences of woman when it comes to sex. I would recommend this book to married and engaged women of all ages, as I know we all could use it in handling the good, bad, and ugly relational issues that come with marriage. 5 stars!
August 18, 2013
I had to read this book for a small group. I was not a fan. However, I was the only one in my group that was not a fan. I felt like the book was so negative... I should have picked up on that since the title is how to steer away from negative experiences and background. I just did not enjoy reading it and I know there are better books out there that can give good guidance or preparation skills for any future counseling and discussions we might have as women to women or women to young girls and teens. I don't recommend this one.
May 9, 2017
Juli Slattery does an excellent job of addressing the various "headaches" that keep a wife from enjoying intimacy with her husband the way God intended. Very thorough, this book discusses far more than migraines. It explores attitudes, responsibilities, misunderstandings, reservations, and other kinds of baggage both parties bring to a marriage that conspire against the oneness they ought to experience. This book is well worth the read for any wife who'd like to improve the way she relates to the man she married.
February 12, 2013
I picked this book up after hearing Dr. Slattery mention it on Focus on the Family. I'm SO GLAD I DID! I'm a normal woman with normal "headaches" and this book is a tremendous help. Not only does it help me understand where these feelings about sex and intimacy stem from, but it helps me understand my husband and his desires too.
I love the funny, down-to-earth tone of this book..and how it is written to reach couples battling all different kinds of sexual marriage problems. I highly, HIGHLY recommend this book to any single, engaged, married or even divorced woman. I know that I'll be referencing it for a long time. Go read it!
I love the funny, down-to-earth tone of this book..and how it is written to reach couples battling all different kinds of sexual marriage problems. I highly, HIGHLY recommend this book to any single, engaged, married or even divorced woman. I know that I'll be referencing it for a long time. Go read it!
September 18, 2010
This is not a self-help book. This is a book that reveals what God's plan for marriage is and how it is possible to reclaim the pure gift of marital sex no matter what is hindering you. Dr Juli Slattery uses her own experience with her own marriage and with counselling others to show women that they're not alone in feeling hurt, isolated or ashamed in their marriages. This book isn't a quick cure, but a starting point. A door to open up conversation and to understand the direction you can go head in to reach that ultimate goal.
April 5, 2011
Enlightening book. I never understood that God, in his infinite wisdom, designed sex not just for our pleasure, but with an ultimate goal of growing us and molding us to be more like Him. Juli tackles many tough marital issues head-on. This book has enabled me to better understand my husband and what drives him. Definitely would recommend.
August 29, 2010
Julie Slattery is a Christian psychologist who is a radio talk show host on Focus on the Family. She really nails this topic in a balanced way. Not one of those books that tells you you're doing everything wrong, but sheds light on common issues and gives greater understanding.
July 9, 2019
Excellent overview for marriages that are otherwise healthy, or at least moving in the direction of health. I would like to see some of these chapters as a whole book. I learned a lot, and I would definitely read more of her material.
December 19, 2021
This was probably the most helpful book I’ve read yet on sex within Christian marriages. She covered a lot of the usual grounds but had a fresh perspective and solidly biblical insights that were really encouraging to me. Most books in this category miss the mark, I feel, by trying too hard to be like a Cosmo magazine or by leaning too hard on the “just do it, you’ll learn to like it” approach. This one had excellent data and psychological concepts, combined with biblical wisdom, to help me really reframe some of the main issues most married couples face. Super helpful. Highly recommend.
September 19, 2017
Gives better understanding
This book, especially if read together, will help married couples to better understand each others struggles regarding intimacy. This book helps to understand and offers solutions as well as further resources to improve a marriage whether it is new or seasoned.
This book, especially if read together, will help married couples to better understand each others struggles regarding intimacy. This book helps to understand and offers solutions as well as further resources to improve a marriage whether it is new or seasoned.
March 26, 2023
insightful
This book was very insightful. Me and my wife got a lot out of this book. We learned a lot and definitely recommend to all married couples.
This book was very insightful. Me and my wife got a lot out of this book. We learned a lot and definitely recommend to all married couples.
May 9, 2024
Juli has such a relatable voice and years of experience counseling people.
September 21, 2025
This book did address common differences between men & women but I didn't feel like it helped me to get beyond them much.
October 23, 2022
A great resource for Christians.
It's non-judgemental and really goes through a lot of stuff without condescending men or women. It felt really validating to hear that my struggles are common, and encouraging to hear Dr. Slattery's comments from her own female viewpoint as well as from her professional psychologist viewpoint.
It's not a technique book, but it is extremely valuable for recognizing and putting to words mental, emotional, and physiological barriers we have with sex. This book points towards ways of working through these issues in a healthy and holy way, in unity and love with our spouse.
This is so much better and deeper than the "a good wife submits to her husband's needs" message that floats around in church circles. For instance, one quote in the Q&A at the end of the book is "Instead of thinking of it as a physical need that your husband will die without, think of it as a physical, emotional, and relational need that your husband will have a difficult time feeling complete without." (This is a lot to unpack, but she spends multiple chapters doing so.)
There's a lot of respect for the different issues we all have and Dr Slattery gets past the superficial to the real heart and soul in our relationships.
It's non-judgemental and really goes through a lot of stuff without condescending men or women. It felt really validating to hear that my struggles are common, and encouraging to hear Dr. Slattery's comments from her own female viewpoint as well as from her professional psychologist viewpoint.
It's not a technique book, but it is extremely valuable for recognizing and putting to words mental, emotional, and physiological barriers we have with sex. This book points towards ways of working through these issues in a healthy and holy way, in unity and love with our spouse.
This is so much better and deeper than the "a good wife submits to her husband's needs" message that floats around in church circles. For instance, one quote in the Q&A at the end of the book is "Instead of thinking of it as a physical need that your husband will die without, think of it as a physical, emotional, and relational need that your husband will have a difficult time feeling complete without." (This is a lot to unpack, but she spends multiple chapters doing so.)
There's a lot of respect for the different issues we all have and Dr Slattery gets past the superficial to the real heart and soul in our relationships.
February 2, 2013
If you are a woman married for a number of years, you should read this book, and if you are a man it wouldn't hurt either but it its directed towards women. It frequently uses biblical and spiritual references that non catholics might not like. Even of that is your case, you can ignore those and the book will still inundate you with plenty of truth.
November 19, 2009
Wow, really a perspective change on sex and the gift from God that it is.
April 26, 2017
The author is a speaker and psychologist and drew from her experiences to write about how wives can avoid the headaches and frustrations in the area of intimacy. She uses a little bit of scripture, a lot of her education, and resource material to answer the questions that so many woman have asked her. The book is all about how to shed your inhibitions, baggage, stress, etc. to enjoy being intimate with your husband.
This was an interesting book for me. While I do not have the issues that she addresses, it never hurts to be more informed and to grow your relationship. I've been married for over 20 years and I could see this book being a help to my younger self. But it still have some things that I could take away from it. I read portions to my husband and he said it helped him see things from my perspective. It is definitely written with a Christian perspective so it might not appeal to non-Christians, but I definitely appreciated that aspect. I would recommend this book to anyone who is newly married, engaged, or has problems with intimacy.
I received a copy of this book from Tyndale. All thoughts expressed are my own.
This was an interesting book for me. While I do not have the issues that she addresses, it never hurts to be more informed and to grow your relationship. I've been married for over 20 years and I could see this book being a help to my younger self. But it still have some things that I could take away from it. I read portions to my husband and he said it helped him see things from my perspective. It is definitely written with a Christian perspective so it might not appeal to non-Christians, but I definitely appreciated that aspect. I would recommend this book to anyone who is newly married, engaged, or has problems with intimacy.
I received a copy of this book from Tyndale. All thoughts expressed are my own.
Displaying 1 - 17 of 17 reviews