What do you think?
Rate this book
Road Of Lost Innocence
'The Road of Lost Innocence' is a moving account of a traumatic childhood and also the inspirational story of a determined and courageous woman devoted to helping other girls caught up in the illegal sex trade and violent underworld of Cambodia.
182 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2005
240 people are currently reading
14880 people want to read
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 1,092 reviews
May 6, 2015
Sad Update but first an admission. I'm a sucker, I'm easily taken in. I'm a bookseller but I still judge books (and people) by their covers. With this book, the cover was attractive and the story the author had to tell of sexual slavery from an early age to winning Glamour magazine's Woman of the Year award (2006) was uplifting and compelling and I really thought it was something special to recommend.
Now today, I read that the book was indeed a story. Fiction. How much of it was true and how much sheer invention in order to gain publicity, sympathy and to fulfil her grandiose personal ambition of fame. Certainly she was never a child sex slave, but went to high school and sat an exam to be a teacher. Every point she made of her life in the sex industry of Cambodia that people have examined has to out be false. You can read the details in a May 2014 issue of Newsweek or for a rather horrifying overview, Wikipedia. A thoroughly discredited heroine.
But still, there is a sex industry in Cambodia, her Foundation did raise it's profile and millions to aid the victims, so ultimately didn't the means justify the end? I'm not too sure on that, what kind of harm has she done Cambodia and those who tell their tales truthfully? This is just more grist to the mill of those profit from it, or who would rather ignore it, some of whom have very 'loud' voices in charities, organisations like the UN and the media?
I'm not going to change my review. Those were my thoughts on reading the book. I'm not going to downgrade the book from 5 stars, but the author, 1 star would be generous, unless I could give 5 stars worth of contempt.
______
When I started to read the book, noting the curiously flat tone and simple language, I thought I was in for another one of the books like Slave: My True Story by Mende Nazer (a 5-star book) or even Halima Bashir's Tears of the Desert: A Memoir of Survival in Darfur (another 5-star read). I've read a lot of these books of black men and women taken by the Arabs in Sudan as slaves or victims of a civil war and I'd reached the point where I only wanted to read another one if it was going to be radically different. This one is.
Somaly Mam didn't have a good start in life and it went rapidly downhill after that with her as a young girl being sold to a 'grandfather' as a slave, a man who would repay his debts at the local shop by selling her virginity in a violent rape. The downhill acceleration picked up from there.
But then she met a man, a typical European traveller who likes working abroad and mixing with the locals and doesn't much mind if he pays for sex or not. Becoming his mistress saved her life. Eventually she forms a powerful and very successful charity to save other girls, estimated to be 1 in 40 of all the girls in Cambodia, who have found themselves with nowhere lower than death to go, and even in that, Somaly Mam is there for them. The most interesting part of the book is about her life and how it changed with this man who brought her financial freedom and gave her intellectual respect and enabled to go on to win many awards for her work.
I've seen sex slaves. My son and I were in Bangkok and went to the Patpong market, a night market. Down the centre of the broad street were stalls back-to-back selling t-shirts and jewelry and down the sides were shops and bars. The bars had their doors propped half open and inside, dancing on round tables were exquisite doll-like girls with dull, dead eyes, swinging slowly around their stripper poles as they waited for the customers to come inside.
I'm glad I've read the book, its fleshed out the statistics I've read on sex slavery in the Far East, and given life to those girls who looked like they had none or didn't care if they did or not. I wouldn't have chosen that market for my son to see at only fourteen, but then why not, he was the same age as those dead-eyed girls.
Now today, I read that the book was indeed a story. Fiction. How much of it was true and how much sheer invention in order to gain publicity, sympathy and to fulfil her grandiose personal ambition of fame. Certainly she was never a child sex slave, but went to high school and sat an exam to be a teacher. Every point she made of her life in the sex industry of Cambodia that people have examined has to out be false. You can read the details in a May 2014 issue of Newsweek or for a rather horrifying overview, Wikipedia. A thoroughly discredited heroine.
But still, there is a sex industry in Cambodia, her Foundation did raise it's profile and millions to aid the victims, so ultimately didn't the means justify the end? I'm not too sure on that, what kind of harm has she done Cambodia and those who tell their tales truthfully? This is just more grist to the mill of those profit from it, or who would rather ignore it, some of whom have very 'loud' voices in charities, organisations like the UN and the media?
I'm not going to change my review. Those were my thoughts on reading the book. I'm not going to downgrade the book from 5 stars, but the author, 1 star would be generous, unless I could give 5 stars worth of contempt.
______
When I started to read the book, noting the curiously flat tone and simple language, I thought I was in for another one of the books like Slave: My True Story by Mende Nazer (a 5-star book) or even Halima Bashir's Tears of the Desert: A Memoir of Survival in Darfur (another 5-star read). I've read a lot of these books of black men and women taken by the Arabs in Sudan as slaves or victims of a civil war and I'd reached the point where I only wanted to read another one if it was going to be radically different. This one is.
Somaly Mam didn't have a good start in life and it went rapidly downhill after that with her as a young girl being sold to a 'grandfather' as a slave, a man who would repay his debts at the local shop by selling her virginity in a violent rape. The downhill acceleration picked up from there.
But then she met a man, a typical European traveller who likes working abroad and mixing with the locals and doesn't much mind if he pays for sex or not. Becoming his mistress saved her life. Eventually she forms a powerful and very successful charity to save other girls, estimated to be 1 in 40 of all the girls in Cambodia, who have found themselves with nowhere lower than death to go, and even in that, Somaly Mam is there for them. The most interesting part of the book is about her life and how it changed with this man who brought her financial freedom and gave her intellectual respect and enabled to go on to win many awards for her work.
I've seen sex slaves. My son and I were in Bangkok and went to the Patpong market, a night market. Down the centre of the broad street were stalls back-to-back selling t-shirts and jewelry and down the sides were shops and bars. The bars had their doors propped half open and inside, dancing on round tables were exquisite doll-like girls with dull, dead eyes, swinging slowly around their stripper poles as they waited for the customers to come inside.
I'm glad I've read the book, its fleshed out the statistics I've read on sex slavery in the Far East, and given life to those girls who looked like they had none or didn't care if they did or not. I wouldn't have chosen that market for my son to see at only fourteen, but then why not, he was the same age as those dead-eyed girls.
November 12, 2015
This was one of the most difficult books I have ever read. We all know that prostitution and human trafficking is million dollar business that seems to continue to grow over the years. But most of us probably don’t know the extent of this problem and how it affects lives of young girls. All over the world and especially in underdeveloped/ developing countries, this is a problem that is quickly getting out of hands.
The Road of Lost Innocence is a story from Cambodia. Ms. Somaly had a very horrific life, 100 times more horrific than you can guess from the synopsis of the book. The worst phase was her life in the brothel. She describes the desperate and dirty living conditions in the low-end brothels where one girl had to sometimes service 10-15 men in one day. She says Cambodian men are very violent people, the years of Khmer regime has left a mark on them. She describes how the prostitutes are forced into the trade by their family members, by their own mothers and fathers. Poverty drives them to do this.
When she left the brothel for good, she married a Frenchman who was a social worker in Cambodia. After that she decided to use her status as a white man’s wife to help girls like her. She started a center that housed women rescued from brothels. Her center also provided health care and a way for these girls to build their life again by teaching them various skills. She also initiated an educational program which educated men into what prostitution was really like for those girls. Cambodian men seemed to treat women like commodities and she tried to speak against that by showing them that they were after all human beings.
The most shocking part was the ages of these girls in the brothels. There are as young as 5-6 year old girls. Some men seem to believe that having sex with a virgin will cure them of AIDS. To ensure that the girls were virgins, they bought in girls as young as 5.
I have such immense respect for Ms. Somaly and the work her organization is doing instead of the constant threats they get. In Cambodia, big brothels are controlled or owned by powerful people. Even policeman have a share in the brothels earnings. When the system that is supporting you is going against you, people like Somaly Mam provide a beacon of hope.
I had watched a documentary on these very children of Cambodia but I guess the documentary masked some of the horrific details. This book tells you things as they are. And even when sometimes things become too difficult to read, I just had to keep going on. If we cannot help these girls, we at least owe it to them to be informed about their fate and know that there are people like them who suffer endlessly for no fault of theirs.
The Road of Lost Innocence is a story from Cambodia. Ms. Somaly had a very horrific life, 100 times more horrific than you can guess from the synopsis of the book. The worst phase was her life in the brothel. She describes the desperate and dirty living conditions in the low-end brothels where one girl had to sometimes service 10-15 men in one day. She says Cambodian men are very violent people, the years of Khmer regime has left a mark on them. She describes how the prostitutes are forced into the trade by their family members, by their own mothers and fathers. Poverty drives them to do this.
When she left the brothel for good, she married a Frenchman who was a social worker in Cambodia. After that she decided to use her status as a white man’s wife to help girls like her. She started a center that housed women rescued from brothels. Her center also provided health care and a way for these girls to build their life again by teaching them various skills. She also initiated an educational program which educated men into what prostitution was really like for those girls. Cambodian men seemed to treat women like commodities and she tried to speak against that by showing them that they were after all human beings.
The most shocking part was the ages of these girls in the brothels. There are as young as 5-6 year old girls. Some men seem to believe that having sex with a virgin will cure them of AIDS. To ensure that the girls were virgins, they bought in girls as young as 5.
I have such immense respect for Ms. Somaly and the work her organization is doing instead of the constant threats they get. In Cambodia, big brothels are controlled or owned by powerful people. Even policeman have a share in the brothels earnings. When the system that is supporting you is going against you, people like Somaly Mam provide a beacon of hope.
I had watched a documentary on these very children of Cambodia but I guess the documentary masked some of the horrific details. This book tells you things as they are. And even when sometimes things become too difficult to read, I just had to keep going on. If we cannot help these girls, we at least owe it to them to be informed about their fate and know that there are people like them who suffer endlessly for no fault of theirs.
April 9, 2013
This aching life story by Somaly Mam (I will respectfully prefer to address this woman as Mam now on) starts with this note:
By far the lowest statistic for the number of prostitutes and sex slaves in Cambodia is between 40,000 and 50,000. It can be expected that at least 1 in 40 girls born in Cambodia will be sold into sex slavery.
–2005 report by Future Group,
a Canadian nongovernmental organization
I am speechless after finishing this book, neither able to handle the emotions nor able to get up from my chair. This is a true tale of the extremities of pains a woman can undergo. Your heart will ache from pain, your emotions will seize, and you may cry if you are not strong enough to hold on your feelings. Some of the narrations in bold below, which I have taken from the book will give you the insights of an alien world.
I see girls in brothels with nails hammered into their skulls. That sounds unbelievable, but we have photos. Girls are chained, beaten with electric cables. They go mad. We've rescued several children from brothels who have completely lost their minds.
Being a Man, I am ashamed of the men community who made this happen in Cambodia and still existing over there. Either with his own daughter or someone he met on streets are same for them. The realities that this book brings to us filled me with anger and disgust. I come to know that how depraved the human-beings can be, such heartless and evil spirits also live on this planet.
the brothels today sell children. Often they are very young girls, just five or six years old. After the week is over, they sew the girl inside—without an anesthetic—and quickly sell her again. A virgin is supposed to scream and bleed, and this way the girl will scream and bleed, again and again. They do it maybe three or four times.
Such narrations can shake the heart of any strength. This is the naked truth and reality of Cambodian prostitution trade. These are the circumstances from which the author herself has gone through. Hats-off Mam, you are a live monument of strength and will power. I salute you.
Below is one of the heart-wrenching truths of one of a girl who was rescued by AFESIP foundation.
They scrubbed her down and plastered her with lightening cream, in order to make her a more
appetizing color. When she resisted, they beat her for several days in succession. After her first week, they sewed her up again, without an anesthetic, and sold her to another brothel. She went from one brothel to another until she was ten.
Just read the response of a Cambodian father when questioned by Mam,
Another time we were talking to a man who had raped his own daughter, a mere child. We asked him
why.
“Her mother is beautiful and she attracts all the cocks in the village. So to hurt her, I raped her
daughter, who’s pretty too.”
“But this daughter is also yours!”
“No, she’s her mother’s. It’s her mother who was pregnant. This child is nothing to me. I didn't carry her in my womb, did I?”
Today we live with all the luxuries, all requirements of our lives well fulfilled. We cannot even imagine about the pain that women go through in such parts of the world. This book opens up our eyes.
Read the present realities of today's Cambodia, this is again an excerpt from the book.
Today, school has to be paid for, and you can buy a diploma—or get one for free, if you show your teacher a gun. The justice system is for sale, and the mafias are close to power; the prostitution business is worth $500 million a year, almost as much as the annual budget of the government.
I once again salute to Somaly Mam for her courage. She is a living legend. No wonder she is called the Cambodian heroine. She is the co-founder and president of AFESIP (Acting for women in distressing situations) Foundation which seek to save, rehabilitate and socially reintegrate victims of sexual slavery in Southeast Asia. She was named CNN Hero and Glamour woman of the year.
YES, UNDOUBTEDLY, SOMALY MAM, YOU ARE A HERO.
"SALUTE TO YOU"
By far the lowest statistic for the number of prostitutes and sex slaves in Cambodia is between 40,000 and 50,000. It can be expected that at least 1 in 40 girls born in Cambodia will be sold into sex slavery.
–2005 report by Future Group,
a Canadian nongovernmental organization
I am speechless after finishing this book, neither able to handle the emotions nor able to get up from my chair. This is a true tale of the extremities of pains a woman can undergo. Your heart will ache from pain, your emotions will seize, and you may cry if you are not strong enough to hold on your feelings. Some of the narrations in bold below, which I have taken from the book will give you the insights of an alien world.
I see girls in brothels with nails hammered into their skulls. That sounds unbelievable, but we have photos. Girls are chained, beaten with electric cables. They go mad. We've rescued several children from brothels who have completely lost their minds.
Being a Man, I am ashamed of the men community who made this happen in Cambodia and still existing over there. Either with his own daughter or someone he met on streets are same for them. The realities that this book brings to us filled me with anger and disgust. I come to know that how depraved the human-beings can be, such heartless and evil spirits also live on this planet.
the brothels today sell children. Often they are very young girls, just five or six years old. After the week is over, they sew the girl inside—without an anesthetic—and quickly sell her again. A virgin is supposed to scream and bleed, and this way the girl will scream and bleed, again and again. They do it maybe three or four times.
Such narrations can shake the heart of any strength. This is the naked truth and reality of Cambodian prostitution trade. These are the circumstances from which the author herself has gone through. Hats-off Mam, you are a live monument of strength and will power. I salute you.
Below is one of the heart-wrenching truths of one of a girl who was rescued by AFESIP foundation.
They scrubbed her down and plastered her with lightening cream, in order to make her a more
appetizing color. When she resisted, they beat her for several days in succession. After her first week, they sewed her up again, without an anesthetic, and sold her to another brothel. She went from one brothel to another until she was ten.
Just read the response of a Cambodian father when questioned by Mam,
Another time we were talking to a man who had raped his own daughter, a mere child. We asked him
why.
“Her mother is beautiful and she attracts all the cocks in the village. So to hurt her, I raped her
daughter, who’s pretty too.”
“But this daughter is also yours!”
“No, she’s her mother’s. It’s her mother who was pregnant. This child is nothing to me. I didn't carry her in my womb, did I?”
Today we live with all the luxuries, all requirements of our lives well fulfilled. We cannot even imagine about the pain that women go through in such parts of the world. This book opens up our eyes.
Read the present realities of today's Cambodia, this is again an excerpt from the book.
Today, school has to be paid for, and you can buy a diploma—or get one for free, if you show your teacher a gun. The justice system is for sale, and the mafias are close to power; the prostitution business is worth $500 million a year, almost as much as the annual budget of the government.
I once again salute to Somaly Mam for her courage. She is a living legend. No wonder she is called the Cambodian heroine. She is the co-founder and president of AFESIP (Acting for women in distressing situations) Foundation which seek to save, rehabilitate and socially reintegrate victims of sexual slavery in Southeast Asia. She was named CNN Hero and Glamour woman of the year.
YES, UNDOUBTEDLY, SOMALY MAM, YOU ARE A HERO.
"SALUTE TO YOU"
October 17, 2008
As stated in this book by the Cambodian ex-sex slave, Somaly Mam, "the prostitution business is worth $500 million a year, almost as much as the annual budget of the government." Cambodia, Vietnam, Laos, Thailand, etc., are countries where the sex trade is booming (and has been for decades). Young girls, sometimes as young as 5, are sold by their parents, grandparents, or caregivers to brothels and then are used as a type of credit. They work in horrible conditions, worse than one can ever imagine. Females in these countries are seen as possessions and have no voice. They are subject to violence and abuse. Men widely believe that having sex with a virgin will make them strong, live longer, and even cure them of AIDS.
This book is a difficult read but important for many reasons. Somaly Mam was sold into prostitution by her "grandfather" and spent many of her young years living in hell. Her stories are atrocious but she was able to escape and is now the cofounder and president of AFESIP (Acting for Women in Distressing Situations), an organization that conducts raids on brothels, builds shelters, and educates/cares for the victims. Her strength and determination to help enslaved women, despite having no education or birth parents, is more than amazing...not to mention the corruption and threats by the government that stand in her way each day. The human spirit is capable of insurmountable feats.
This book is a difficult read but important for many reasons. Somaly Mam was sold into prostitution by her "grandfather" and spent many of her young years living in hell. Her stories are atrocious but she was able to escape and is now the cofounder and president of AFESIP (Acting for Women in Distressing Situations), an organization that conducts raids on brothels, builds shelters, and educates/cares for the victims. Her strength and determination to help enslaved women, despite having no education or birth parents, is more than amazing...not to mention the corruption and threats by the government that stand in her way each day. The human spirit is capable of insurmountable feats.
May 6, 2015
I picked this book up after seeing Somaly Mam in the PBS film based on Half the Sky: Turning Oppression into Opportunity for Women Worldwide. I wanted to know how she was able to grow from former trafficking victim to a head of a foundation, and this book does answer that question.
I honestly do not know if I could keep the faith in humanity that Mam apparently has. I agree with Ali. Mam should win the Nobel Peace Prize.
Update Mam should not win the Peace Prize because apparently much of this book is lies. I'm knocking to down to one star (from five) because of that.
I honestly do not know if I could keep the faith in humanity that Mam apparently has. I agree with Ali. Mam should win the Nobel Peace Prize.
Update Mam should not win the Peace Prize because apparently much of this book is lies. I'm knocking to down to one star (from five) because of that.
October 4, 2017
Saying that I had nightmares for weeks after reading this book would be a bleak understatement! It is not hard to imagine things happening to you, when you learn what women your age, and many mostly younger than you are enduring in one part of the world or most parts of the world, for that matter.
For once, I hated my friend here to have me read this book. At one point, I broke down and that was more often. I read it in one sitting only to see how much torture and agony life can bestow on one being. Sadly, there is no limit to it.
Well, it’s reality in its crudest form and not all have the heart to take it. While I was totally disgusted to come face-to-face with such heart-shattering truths, I couldn’t stop but admire this woman immensely who has had the courage to bring the real picture aface with the world. Not many can do that!
Firstly, I never knew where exactly Cambodia is based on the map. The opening lines of this book present stunning facts and pointedly I wanted to check where this little not-much-known of a country belongs. Apparently, Cambodia is the 70th most populous country of the world, a fact I'd never have known had I not picked this book. Explains a lot of things mentioned in this book by the author.
The Road to Lost Innocence is the story not only about a little Cambodian girl but also, of those hundreds of thousands of other girls who are sold into this profession each day around the world.
The author, Somaly Mam, when still young was sold into prostitution by the grandfather she lived with who not only cheated her but also made her pay for his debts by getting her raped by a village man. She was forced to spend many years of her life living in hell in myriads of brothels amidst barbarians. She was however, determined enough to escape the damnable life with a motive to help girls and rescue girls in the profession. With this aim she started AFESIP (Acting for Women in Distressing Situations), an organization that rescues girls from brothels, conducts medical treatments, educates them and provides a much better life to start with. Her courage to help these enslaved little girls and women, facing all the odds, despite having no education herself and with everything that she has gone through, is exemplary and worth a salute.
That you will besad and depressed and then you’ll sob and cry is an understatement too. For the book has a lot of deeply rooted sentiments that cannot be expressed but only felt while reading it. But at the end, you’ll feel proud for this lady for making it big; step by step, and piece by piece.
A must read by all. Not suggested to little girls/boys however since it can have real depressing effects on young minds.
For once, I hated my friend here to have me read this book. At one point, I broke down and that was more often. I read it in one sitting only to see how much torture and agony life can bestow on one being. Sadly, there is no limit to it.
Well, it’s reality in its crudest form and not all have the heart to take it. While I was totally disgusted to come face-to-face with such heart-shattering truths, I couldn’t stop but admire this woman immensely who has had the courage to bring the real picture aface with the world. Not many can do that!
Firstly, I never knew where exactly Cambodia is based on the map. The opening lines of this book present stunning facts and pointedly I wanted to check where this little not-much-known of a country belongs. Apparently, Cambodia is the 70th most populous country of the world, a fact I'd never have known had I not picked this book. Explains a lot of things mentioned in this book by the author.
The Road to Lost Innocence is the story not only about a little Cambodian girl but also, of those hundreds of thousands of other girls who are sold into this profession each day around the world.
The author, Somaly Mam, when still young was sold into prostitution by the grandfather she lived with who not only cheated her but also made her pay for his debts by getting her raped by a village man. She was forced to spend many years of her life living in hell in myriads of brothels amidst barbarians. She was however, determined enough to escape the damnable life with a motive to help girls and rescue girls in the profession. With this aim she started AFESIP (Acting for Women in Distressing Situations), an organization that rescues girls from brothels, conducts medical treatments, educates them and provides a much better life to start with. Her courage to help these enslaved little girls and women, facing all the odds, despite having no education herself and with everything that she has gone through, is exemplary and worth a salute.
The book takes you through roads and shacks and brothels and from one city to another all leading nowhere but prostitution, monstrous rapes, crying bleeding girls, abuses and beatings and it starts all over again.
Her experiences that she elaborates through the pages of the book are not only godawful but horrendous to an extent that gets your skin crawling at the descriptions. You cannot stop wondering how cruel can a human-being get! But that’s as far as you reach, because there is no end to it.
The book is written with such sensitivity and simplicity that it gets the readers dive deep into the book as you feel her pain and suffering as your own.
That you will be
A must read by all. Not suggested to little girls/boys however since it can have real depressing effects on young minds.
on-hold
August 1, 2020I started reading this book and it was very engrossing only to learn that there’s a high chance much of this autobiography is fabricated. What a shame... raising awareness on sex trafficking is extremely important but human rights violations should NEVER be made up just to grab attention..
I’m putting this on-hold for now. I really wanted to read it but if it’s all lies..
I’m putting this on-hold for now. I really wanted to read it but if it’s all lies..
May 11, 2016
(2016 update): In the interest of transparency I am leaving my original review and rating encased in amber for all to see. As it turns out, Newsweek exposed this tale as largely fabricated. To my credit, in my original review below, I did express some skepticism, but accepted the story due to widespread corroboration by others of the practices described in this book. Know, however, that I'm not pleased about being sold a bill of goods, even with overall good intentions afoot, and this is at least better than harrowing pseudo-exposes like Go Ask Alice. I think I'm a pretty smart cookie; quite able to dodge scams, but here I was reeled in, and I think it's healthy for me to own up to my gullibility publicly, and wish more people would do the same instead of trying to erase mistakes from their past with a magic wand. (--2016, EG/KR)
(The original review):
It's pretty damned hard to read this and not cry. The book is about the trafficking of young girls in the Southeast Asian sex trade, most specifically in Cambodia, and it is told from the perspective of someone who was a young victim of that trade, Somaly Mam, a true heroine who has started homes throughout the region to help girls rescued from sex slavery to reclaim their lives. The book describes harrowing, Hell-on-Earth stuff that is going on on a massive scale, right now. It's one of those books that convinces you that everything horrible that could possibly happen has happened -- and to children, no less.
Mam, a simple uneducated Cambodian mountain girl was basically orphaned in the 1970s, but because she lived in an isolated mountainous region she was spared the genocidal horrors of the Khmer Rouge regime, or so it seemed. What awaited her was just as bad. The moral breakdown of the country resulting from that chaotic time did eventually lead her into a nightmare youth of domestic servitude, violent abuse, rape and eventually, sexual slavery in the filthy brothels of Phnom Penh.
By the halfway point of the book, I have to admit, I was exceedingly skeptical of Mam's story, since everything from snake pits to bucketfuls of maggots dumped into her mouth are described along with brutal rape and casual murder. I actually began to wonder if Mam was maybe embellishing things a bit; that she might have worried that "mere" rape would not stir the conscience of humanity, so she had to add a certain Poe-like Grand Guignol flourish to underscore the points. But the more I read of this book the more I was persuaded; the accounts of what goes on in these places have been corroborated by her own experience and those of others. In many ways, the trade has become even more sophisticated and brutal than it was in Mam's childhood, if that is even possible, which, alas, it seems to be.
Mam's voice in this book is simple, direct and powerful. I'm actually a bit put off by some of the reviewers here who say she can't write. She describes things clearly and vividly without any fancy rhetoric. So what's wrong with that? Are we not informed when we have finished? Have we not delved into a sector of the human experience that we might not have otherwise?
Even in her anger over what she went through and still sees, Mam understands that the world is not simple. The system she fights is sad and wrong and bewildering. But it's not as simplistic as evil people doing evil things. Poverty and abuse and lashing out are a vicious cycle; in some cases one can almost understand the rationalizations why the system exists as it does. In Cambodia, the general rule is to keep quiet, obey, and confide in no one; anything else is a sign of weakness. "There is one law for women: silence before rape and silence after." A man is brought up in a society where women are devalued and his first intimate sexual experience is to rape a young girl in a brothel, someone lower than trash to him. He's poor, frustrated, drunk; he beats his wife and kids. The mother sells the kids, saying it'll get them out of the way of the dad and maybe in a brothel they'll fare better and find someone to marry. And a little income is generated to stave off starvation. Not to mention the bizarre myths, one being that having sex with a virgin child can ward off AIDS. Mam wants to believe that there are still pockets of decency in isolated areas, but as she finds, even practicing Buddhists have become child rapists. "During the Khmer Rouge regime people detached themselves from any kind of human feeling, because feeling meant pain. They learned not to trust their neighbors, their friends, their family, their own children. To avoid going mad, they shrank to the smallest part of a human, which is 'me'". The upshot is, unless you live it, it's easy in our cushy western milieu to posture and make shocked pronouncements.
What's valuable about this too is that Mam's position as a Cambodian allows her to criticize her own people in ways that an outsider couldn't without drawing charges of cultural insensitivity or racism. Mam is merciless in her criticism of the corruption that exists within the political, business and domestic sectors of her country that allow this reality to continue.
Somaly Mam has been there, done that, and has every right to shout out and to fight, and her simple voice is powerful. This book will make you feel sick in parts; and just try to hold in your tears when you read about the Mam's rescue missions to save young girls, and her own feeling of triumph for the first time in her life when she realizes that people around the world are starting to respect and listen to her: "They knew what I had done, and what had been done to me, and yet they respected me anyway--a little Phnong girl, a dirty prostitute."
As a child, Mam was so starved for love that she talked to waterfalls and trees. In the brothels, she didn't even have those. Even today, she washes herself constantly with soaps and perfumes to rid herself of the memory smell of the brothels, which never goes away.
About halfway through, I was going to give this three stars, but by the end I could not give it anything less than a top rating. What it has to say is too important.
(KevinR@Ky with amendments in 2016)
(The original review):
It's pretty damned hard to read this and not cry. The book is about the trafficking of young girls in the Southeast Asian sex trade, most specifically in Cambodia, and it is told from the perspective of someone who was a young victim of that trade, Somaly Mam, a true heroine who has started homes throughout the region to help girls rescued from sex slavery to reclaim their lives. The book describes harrowing, Hell-on-Earth stuff that is going on on a massive scale, right now. It's one of those books that convinces you that everything horrible that could possibly happen has happened -- and to children, no less.
Mam, a simple uneducated Cambodian mountain girl was basically orphaned in the 1970s, but because she lived in an isolated mountainous region she was spared the genocidal horrors of the Khmer Rouge regime, or so it seemed. What awaited her was just as bad. The moral breakdown of the country resulting from that chaotic time did eventually lead her into a nightmare youth of domestic servitude, violent abuse, rape and eventually, sexual slavery in the filthy brothels of Phnom Penh.
By the halfway point of the book, I have to admit, I was exceedingly skeptical of Mam's story, since everything from snake pits to bucketfuls of maggots dumped into her mouth are described along with brutal rape and casual murder. I actually began to wonder if Mam was maybe embellishing things a bit; that she might have worried that "mere" rape would not stir the conscience of humanity, so she had to add a certain Poe-like Grand Guignol flourish to underscore the points. But the more I read of this book the more I was persuaded; the accounts of what goes on in these places have been corroborated by her own experience and those of others. In many ways, the trade has become even more sophisticated and brutal than it was in Mam's childhood, if that is even possible, which, alas, it seems to be.
Mam's voice in this book is simple, direct and powerful. I'm actually a bit put off by some of the reviewers here who say she can't write. She describes things clearly and vividly without any fancy rhetoric. So what's wrong with that? Are we not informed when we have finished? Have we not delved into a sector of the human experience that we might not have otherwise?
Even in her anger over what she went through and still sees, Mam understands that the world is not simple. The system she fights is sad and wrong and bewildering. But it's not as simplistic as evil people doing evil things. Poverty and abuse and lashing out are a vicious cycle; in some cases one can almost understand the rationalizations why the system exists as it does. In Cambodia, the general rule is to keep quiet, obey, and confide in no one; anything else is a sign of weakness. "There is one law for women: silence before rape and silence after." A man is brought up in a society where women are devalued and his first intimate sexual experience is to rape a young girl in a brothel, someone lower than trash to him. He's poor, frustrated, drunk; he beats his wife and kids. The mother sells the kids, saying it'll get them out of the way of the dad and maybe in a brothel they'll fare better and find someone to marry. And a little income is generated to stave off starvation. Not to mention the bizarre myths, one being that having sex with a virgin child can ward off AIDS. Mam wants to believe that there are still pockets of decency in isolated areas, but as she finds, even practicing Buddhists have become child rapists. "During the Khmer Rouge regime people detached themselves from any kind of human feeling, because feeling meant pain. They learned not to trust their neighbors, their friends, their family, their own children. To avoid going mad, they shrank to the smallest part of a human, which is 'me'". The upshot is, unless you live it, it's easy in our cushy western milieu to posture and make shocked pronouncements.
What's valuable about this too is that Mam's position as a Cambodian allows her to criticize her own people in ways that an outsider couldn't without drawing charges of cultural insensitivity or racism. Mam is merciless in her criticism of the corruption that exists within the political, business and domestic sectors of her country that allow this reality to continue.
Somaly Mam has been there, done that, and has every right to shout out and to fight, and her simple voice is powerful. This book will make you feel sick in parts; and just try to hold in your tears when you read about the Mam's rescue missions to save young girls, and her own feeling of triumph for the first time in her life when she realizes that people around the world are starting to respect and listen to her: "They knew what I had done, and what had been done to me, and yet they respected me anyway--a little Phnong girl, a dirty prostitute."
As a child, Mam was so starved for love that she talked to waterfalls and trees. In the brothels, she didn't even have those. Even today, she washes herself constantly with soaps and perfumes to rid herself of the memory smell of the brothels, which never goes away.
About halfway through, I was going to give this three stars, but by the end I could not give it anything less than a top rating. What it has to say is too important.
(KevinR@Ky with amendments in 2016)
August 29, 2012
This book is honest, brutally, painfully honest and that is really why it can make a difference. With every page I felt Somaly Mam's struggle with the prostitution that was a big part of her past and how the very same past has propelled her forward. I feel lucky, extremely lucky, because I know had I lived the life she has I would have been completely broken and not able to stand up for righteousness like she has. She is a true hero.
In many ways the story of the little Cambodian girls sold by their very own parents, owned like commodities by different people in different points in their lives, I find those stories similar to the untold stories of little Nepalese girls in the forgotten villages of my country. It has made it easier for me to empathize with the horrors described in the book. This book shows Mam's strength as a human being and her story is one that deserves to be told.
In many ways it is not the writing or even the content of the book that will draw the reader in; it is the brutally honest way that the story is written that will leave a lasting impression. One can feel the pain Mam was feeling, see the horrors that she was encountering from her past while writing this book. The fact that she completed this book no matter what it cost her to go down the memory lane is what makes this even more commendable.
It is a must read for every person of every gender who want to know how deep the roots of sex slavery, prostitution and human trafficking go into our society.
In many ways the story of the little Cambodian girls sold by their very own parents, owned like commodities by different people in different points in their lives, I find those stories similar to the untold stories of little Nepalese girls in the forgotten villages of my country. It has made it easier for me to empathize with the horrors described in the book. This book shows Mam's strength as a human being and her story is one that deserves to be told.
In many ways it is not the writing or even the content of the book that will draw the reader in; it is the brutally honest way that the story is written that will leave a lasting impression. One can feel the pain Mam was feeling, see the horrors that she was encountering from her past while writing this book. The fact that she completed this book no matter what it cost her to go down the memory lane is what makes this even more commendable.
It is a must read for every person of every gender who want to know how deep the roots of sex slavery, prostitution and human trafficking go into our society.
March 29, 2011
Ayaan Hirsi Ali said it right, this memoir is unputdownable! I read a couple pages, got interrupted, but when I picked it up again I could not stop reading. Somaly Mam's beautifully raw prose transfixed me. It held me even when my heart raged with anger as I read about the inhumanities she suffered, or even as I felt goose bumps as I imagined the torture girls like herself went through. At some point, keeping the tears back just seemed pointless.
Despite the horrors described in her book, this is not the kind of book that depresses me. Instead it's the kind that fans that inner fire in me. It reminds me of how fortunate I am, and of what I want to do with my life, and what I want to do for others.
I have read of Somaly Mam's plight years ago. I've supported her cause. And now that I've heard her story from her own words, I admire her even more. For rising against all odds, letting her own strength be the key to her own survival, and giving other women hope and a better life.
Despite the horrors described in her book, this is not the kind of book that depresses me. Instead it's the kind that fans that inner fire in me. It reminds me of how fortunate I am, and of what I want to do with my life, and what I want to do for others.
I have read of Somaly Mam's plight years ago. I've supported her cause. And now that I've heard her story from her own words, I admire her even more. For rising against all odds, letting her own strength be the key to her own survival, and giving other women hope and a better life.
July 1, 2014
I edited this review upon the discovery that much of Somaly Mam's well-known life story is a giant fabrication. It is important for people to understand why these fabrications are toxic and irresponsible.
Somaly Mam’s resignation from the Somaly Mam Foundation and why it matters
Somaly Mam recently resigned from the Somaly Mam Foundation, a non-profit that rehabilitates girls and women in Cambodia who have escaped from human trafficking, following affirmations that her personal experiences being trafficked, her memoir, and the stories of many young women who claim to have been rescued from human trafficking by her foundation were fabricated.
Many responses I have seen have been in support of Mam and her work. “I don’t care what she’s done in the past and I don’t care that she lied, she’s doing good work now and that’s all that matters.”
Most people fail to realize when fabrications about experiences like this are discovered, they cast doubt on all other survivors who are trying to tell their stories. These lies lead people to believe even more that survivors sharing their trauma are doing it for attention, publicity, or profit. The inflated number of false accusations in sex crimes is a pervasive myth that is thrown at all survivors who come forward, and stories like this only further that misconception.
I have not seen any statements from Somaly Mam apologizing to the young women she pressured into lying for the sake of pulling in donations for her foundation. She should apologize to them and to survivors who are currently attempting to recover and overcome stigma in order to share their truths despite being surrounded by a culture of doubt that will attempt to silence and shame them.
What she did was absolutely not okay. Her significant accomplishments in rescuing and rehabilitating survivors of sex trafficking should not be used to excuse her actions. Her foundation, Half the Sky, and other projects she has had a part in will be tainted by this lie. We were fooled, but her actions should not be disregarded or defended.
Review originally published Aug. 22, 2012
Edited July 1, 2014
November 18, 2008
I wasn't sure how to put into words what I thought of this book, so I stole some other reviews that best described what I was thinking...
Also not sure what to rate it. I guess I'll go with 5 stars, not because I loved it or anything but the 5 stars equates to "it was amazing". And the author is amazing! I'm also going to donate money to her cause. Pen told me I need to read some happy books :)
"Not an uplifting story and lots of very depressing realizations about the reality of the sex slave trade in Cambodia, but a very important book for awareness and empathy. Also inspiring in the author's ability to rise above the tragedies of her childhood and help thousands of other women and children." Quoted from a reader, Melissa, on goodreads.
"Caution: The Road of Lost Innocence is written in a heart-wrenching, raw, unflinching manner and does not shy away from describing some of the horrific abuse that Somaly and countless thousands of other young girls have endured. Though I think it is critical for adults to be shaken out of their comfort zone--and this book has the power to sear one's heart permanently--That said, I think this kind of book--reality--needs to be read far more than fiction which gets far more graphic. This is real life for thousands of little girls. We can't hide from that, and I think we need to be shaken up a bit if such will change the way we view this issue.
Born in Cambodia and orphaned at an early age, Somaly Mam, a Buddhist sex trade survivor, grew up never knowing her real name or birthday." Quoted from another reader, Natalie.
Also not sure what to rate it. I guess I'll go with 5 stars, not because I loved it or anything but the 5 stars equates to "it was amazing". And the author is amazing! I'm also going to donate money to her cause. Pen told me I need to read some happy books :)
"Not an uplifting story and lots of very depressing realizations about the reality of the sex slave trade in Cambodia, but a very important book for awareness and empathy. Also inspiring in the author's ability to rise above the tragedies of her childhood and help thousands of other women and children." Quoted from a reader, Melissa, on goodreads.
"Caution: The Road of Lost Innocence is written in a heart-wrenching, raw, unflinching manner and does not shy away from describing some of the horrific abuse that Somaly and countless thousands of other young girls have endured. Though I think it is critical for adults to be shaken out of their comfort zone--and this book has the power to sear one's heart permanently--That said, I think this kind of book--reality--needs to be read far more than fiction which gets far more graphic. This is real life for thousands of little girls. We can't hide from that, and I think we need to be shaken up a bit if such will change the way we view this issue.
Born in Cambodia and orphaned at an early age, Somaly Mam, a Buddhist sex trade survivor, grew up never knowing her real name or birthday." Quoted from another reader, Natalie.
September 11, 2014
THIS ENTIRE BOOK IS A LIE AND IS PURE FICTION!
SOMALY MAM SEX TRAFFICKING IS A SCAM AND FRAUD.
SOMALY MAM HAS RESIGNED FROM HER ORGANIZATION BECAUSE OF LIES SHE TOLD TO THE
WORLD! On May 28, 2014 Somaly Mam was forced to resign from the Somaly Mam Foundation and was proven to be lying about being a victim of Sex Trafficking and forcing girls to lie about being victims. She was then forced to step down from one of the most successful anti-sex trafficking organizations in the world. She was committing fraud and stealing money from the public by providing them with false sex trafficking horror stories that were lies to send money to the Somaly Mam and Afesip charities. These charities then committed human trafficking themselves by forcing women and girls to stay in their (rescue) centers against their will and to lie about being forced into sex trafficking to the western media and donors.
Somaly Mam, the celebrated Cambodian anti-sex-trafficking activist who, according to a recent Newsweek expose, http://www.newsweek.com/2014/05/30/so...
fabricated her entire life story and those of the alleged victims she advocated for. The revelations have disillusioned many of Mam’s loyal supporters and left the press looking gullible. Just as importantly, they’ve highlighted the public’s seemingly insatiable desire for heroic narratives—and the willingness of many in the media to trick the public and provide them even if they are fake.
News reports:
http://www.cnn.com/2014/05/30/world/a...
http://www.newsweek.com/2014/05/30/so...
Not only had Somaly Mam not been an orphaned trafficking victim – she grew up with both parents and graduated from high school – but she also forced, encouraged, coached and paid girls to lie as well. One of these girls was Long Pross, who, actually lost her eye to a tumor and was sent to Afesip for vocational training. The same was reportedly true of Meas Ratha, a teenager allegedly coached by Mam to say she had been trafficked when in fact she was sent to Afesip by an impoverished farming family. These two girls were never prostitutes and never forced sex trafficking victims! -Neither was Somaly Mam.
"It appears Nicholas Kristof knew, long before most, that journalists were calling Pross’s story into question. On October 15, 2012, a week and a half before the Cambodia Daily story went to press, SMF board member Brandee Barker emailed Marks with a warning. “I also spoke with Nick Kristof yesterday about my concern for the way you choose to report,” Barker wrote. “I suggested that, curiously, you seem to have it out for Somaly, other survivors of sex trafficking and the Foundation. He suggested he broker a meeting with your Editor in Chief. We're considering this advice.” Barker, a former head of global communications at Facebook, subsequently confirmed to me that she had conversations with Kristof about Marks’s story prior to publication."
"No reporter went quite as far as Kristof in elevating Mam’s profile. The crusading journalist has promoted her work in half a dozen columns and blog posts, as well as his documentary, Half the Sky. He even penned the foreword to her autobiography, The Road of Lost Innocence, in which he called her “the Harriet Tubman of Southeast Asia’s brothels.”
-Pat Joseph
The Atlantic
Kristof appeared with Somaly Mam at many fund raising events. He acted as her press, marketing and celebrity agent. It seemed like Kristof was working for Somaly Mam. Was he getting a kick-back from her? Why was he doing all this work for her? Of riding shotgun with Mam on a raid of one of those brothels—a stunt he also “live-tweeted” to his million-plus followers and filmed for inclusion in Half the Sky—Kristof wrote in his column of November 12, 2011: Against my better judgment, I found myself the other day charging into a well-armed brothel in a police raid. But I was comforted to be with one of my heroes, Somaly Mam.
Somaly dedicates her life to battling forced prostitution, for she herself was sold as a child to a Cambodian brothel. After enduring torture and rapes, Somaly escaped and reinvented herself as an anti-trafficking activist.
That last bit is an accurate capsule summary of the story Mam tells in her memoir and the one she has dutifully recounted (albeit with some discrepancies) in countless public appearances around the world, including at the White House and the UN. It’s also, as we know from Newsweek's story, largely untrue.
According to the article’s author, Simon Marks, during the years Somaly Mam was supposedly trapped in a Phnom Penh brothel she was actually attending school in her hometown of Thloc Chhroy. Her fellow villagers remember her as a happy, pig-tailed teenager. In her memoir, Mam claims she was orphaned at a young age and brought to Thloc Chhroy by a man she called “grandfather”—the man who sold her into slavery. The former commune chief remembered her arrival differently. “Somaly came here with her parents,” he said. “She is a daughter of Mam Khon and Pen Navy.” No one recalled the mysterious ‘grandfather’ figure.
Not only had Somaly Mam not been an orphaned trafficking victim – she grew up with both parents and graduated from high school – but she also forced, encouraged, coached and paid girls to lie as well. One of these girls was Long Pross, who, actually lost her eye to a tumor and was sent to Afesip for vocational training. The same was reportedly true of Meas Ratha, a teenager allegedly coached by Mam to say she had been trafficked when in fact she was sent to Afesip by an impoverished farming family. These two girls were never prostitutes and never forced sex trafficking victims.
Extreme scenarios Mam often invoked - girls put in cages, tortured with electricity, having their eyes gouged out by pimps. “We never encountered any such thing, and we certainly looked for it,” the study’s author, Thomas Steinfatt, said this week. “We couldn’t find any instances of that … In terms of people tortured, I think they’ve been watching too many movies.” Somaly Mam was never sold for sex. Nor was Long Pross. When Pross was 13, a nonmalignant tumor which covered her eye was surgically removed. There were no electrical currants. No rape. No torture. No piece of metal gouged deeply into her eye. Those were lies. Lies propagated by Somaly Mam and lies encouraged by the Western media with Nicholas Kristof who had been captivated by increasingly fake horrific tales of sexual predation.
Phnom Penh, Cambodia - In early 2011, Srey Mao, 28, and two friends were captured and taken to a shelter run by Afesip, a Cambodian organisation that prides itself on helping sex-trafficking victims.
There was just one problem: The women claim they hadn’t actually been trafficked. Instead, the women said they were willing sex workers who had been rounded up off the street during a police raid and sent to Afesip, headed by the internationally renowned anti-sex-slavery crusader Somaly Mam with funding from the foundation that bears her name. They said they were confined there against their will for months as purported victims of sex trafficking. Srey Mao claimed that she, her friends and a number of other sex workers in the centrer were instructed by a woman to tell foreign visitors they had been trafficked.“I was confined against my will by Somaly Mam,” Srey Mao said on Saturday. The person she said instructed ordered her and others to lie was Somaly Mam.
When it comes to Sex trafficking the only people the media speak with are the anti-sex trafficking organizations or zealous politicians and no one else. This is a biased one-sided conversation. The media will never question, check or research any of the claims that these groups make. Always taking their word for it and never once researching or questioning their statistics or anything they say. This results in misleading and false reporting by the media and news organizations.
Prostitutes are NOT forced! They do sex work of their own free will. The media, NGO’s and government officials will never admit this or ask the sex workers rights groups or prostitutes themselves about the sex industry.
Here are some good websites about this:
http://bebopper76.wordpress.com/
http://humantraffickingstatistics.wor...
http://www.lauraagustin.com/
http://www.policeprostitutionandpolit...
http://www.theatlantic.com/internatio...
http://www.newsweek.com/2014/05/30/so...
SOMALY MAM SEX TRAFFICKING IS A SCAM AND FRAUD.
SOMALY MAM HAS RESIGNED FROM HER ORGANIZATION BECAUSE OF LIES SHE TOLD TO THE
WORLD! On May 28, 2014 Somaly Mam was forced to resign from the Somaly Mam Foundation and was proven to be lying about being a victim of Sex Trafficking and forcing girls to lie about being victims. She was then forced to step down from one of the most successful anti-sex trafficking organizations in the world. She was committing fraud and stealing money from the public by providing them with false sex trafficking horror stories that were lies to send money to the Somaly Mam and Afesip charities. These charities then committed human trafficking themselves by forcing women and girls to stay in their (rescue) centers against their will and to lie about being forced into sex trafficking to the western media and donors.
Somaly Mam, the celebrated Cambodian anti-sex-trafficking activist who, according to a recent Newsweek expose, http://www.newsweek.com/2014/05/30/so...
fabricated her entire life story and those of the alleged victims she advocated for. The revelations have disillusioned many of Mam’s loyal supporters and left the press looking gullible. Just as importantly, they’ve highlighted the public’s seemingly insatiable desire for heroic narratives—and the willingness of many in the media to trick the public and provide them even if they are fake.
News reports:
http://www.cnn.com/2014/05/30/world/a...
http://www.newsweek.com/2014/05/30/so...
Not only had Somaly Mam not been an orphaned trafficking victim – she grew up with both parents and graduated from high school – but she also forced, encouraged, coached and paid girls to lie as well. One of these girls was Long Pross, who, actually lost her eye to a tumor and was sent to Afesip for vocational training. The same was reportedly true of Meas Ratha, a teenager allegedly coached by Mam to say she had been trafficked when in fact she was sent to Afesip by an impoverished farming family. These two girls were never prostitutes and never forced sex trafficking victims! -Neither was Somaly Mam.
"It appears Nicholas Kristof knew, long before most, that journalists were calling Pross’s story into question. On October 15, 2012, a week and a half before the Cambodia Daily story went to press, SMF board member Brandee Barker emailed Marks with a warning. “I also spoke with Nick Kristof yesterday about my concern for the way you choose to report,” Barker wrote. “I suggested that, curiously, you seem to have it out for Somaly, other survivors of sex trafficking and the Foundation. He suggested he broker a meeting with your Editor in Chief. We're considering this advice.” Barker, a former head of global communications at Facebook, subsequently confirmed to me that she had conversations with Kristof about Marks’s story prior to publication."
"No reporter went quite as far as Kristof in elevating Mam’s profile. The crusading journalist has promoted her work in half a dozen columns and blog posts, as well as his documentary, Half the Sky. He even penned the foreword to her autobiography, The Road of Lost Innocence, in which he called her “the Harriet Tubman of Southeast Asia’s brothels.”
-Pat Joseph
The Atlantic
Kristof appeared with Somaly Mam at many fund raising events. He acted as her press, marketing and celebrity agent. It seemed like Kristof was working for Somaly Mam. Was he getting a kick-back from her? Why was he doing all this work for her? Of riding shotgun with Mam on a raid of one of those brothels—a stunt he also “live-tweeted” to his million-plus followers and filmed for inclusion in Half the Sky—Kristof wrote in his column of November 12, 2011: Against my better judgment, I found myself the other day charging into a well-armed brothel in a police raid. But I was comforted to be with one of my heroes, Somaly Mam.
Somaly dedicates her life to battling forced prostitution, for she herself was sold as a child to a Cambodian brothel. After enduring torture and rapes, Somaly escaped and reinvented herself as an anti-trafficking activist.
That last bit is an accurate capsule summary of the story Mam tells in her memoir and the one she has dutifully recounted (albeit with some discrepancies) in countless public appearances around the world, including at the White House and the UN. It’s also, as we know from Newsweek's story, largely untrue.
According to the article’s author, Simon Marks, during the years Somaly Mam was supposedly trapped in a Phnom Penh brothel she was actually attending school in her hometown of Thloc Chhroy. Her fellow villagers remember her as a happy, pig-tailed teenager. In her memoir, Mam claims she was orphaned at a young age and brought to Thloc Chhroy by a man she called “grandfather”—the man who sold her into slavery. The former commune chief remembered her arrival differently. “Somaly came here with her parents,” he said. “She is a daughter of Mam Khon and Pen Navy.” No one recalled the mysterious ‘grandfather’ figure.
Not only had Somaly Mam not been an orphaned trafficking victim – she grew up with both parents and graduated from high school – but she also forced, encouraged, coached and paid girls to lie as well. One of these girls was Long Pross, who, actually lost her eye to a tumor and was sent to Afesip for vocational training. The same was reportedly true of Meas Ratha, a teenager allegedly coached by Mam to say she had been trafficked when in fact she was sent to Afesip by an impoverished farming family. These two girls were never prostitutes and never forced sex trafficking victims.
Extreme scenarios Mam often invoked - girls put in cages, tortured with electricity, having their eyes gouged out by pimps. “We never encountered any such thing, and we certainly looked for it,” the study’s author, Thomas Steinfatt, said this week. “We couldn’t find any instances of that … In terms of people tortured, I think they’ve been watching too many movies.” Somaly Mam was never sold for sex. Nor was Long Pross. When Pross was 13, a nonmalignant tumor which covered her eye was surgically removed. There were no electrical currants. No rape. No torture. No piece of metal gouged deeply into her eye. Those were lies. Lies propagated by Somaly Mam and lies encouraged by the Western media with Nicholas Kristof who had been captivated by increasingly fake horrific tales of sexual predation.
Phnom Penh, Cambodia - In early 2011, Srey Mao, 28, and two friends were captured and taken to a shelter run by Afesip, a Cambodian organisation that prides itself on helping sex-trafficking victims.
There was just one problem: The women claim they hadn’t actually been trafficked. Instead, the women said they were willing sex workers who had been rounded up off the street during a police raid and sent to Afesip, headed by the internationally renowned anti-sex-slavery crusader Somaly Mam with funding from the foundation that bears her name. They said they were confined there against their will for months as purported victims of sex trafficking. Srey Mao claimed that she, her friends and a number of other sex workers in the centrer were instructed by a woman to tell foreign visitors they had been trafficked.“I was confined against my will by Somaly Mam,” Srey Mao said on Saturday. The person she said instructed ordered her and others to lie was Somaly Mam.
When it comes to Sex trafficking the only people the media speak with are the anti-sex trafficking organizations or zealous politicians and no one else. This is a biased one-sided conversation. The media will never question, check or research any of the claims that these groups make. Always taking their word for it and never once researching or questioning their statistics or anything they say. This results in misleading and false reporting by the media and news organizations.
Prostitutes are NOT forced! They do sex work of their own free will. The media, NGO’s and government officials will never admit this or ask the sex workers rights groups or prostitutes themselves about the sex industry.
Here are some good websites about this:
http://bebopper76.wordpress.com/
http://humantraffickingstatistics.wor...
http://www.lauraagustin.com/
http://www.policeprostitutionandpolit...
http://www.theatlantic.com/internatio...
http://www.newsweek.com/2014/05/30/so...
February 6, 2013
I usually avoid memoirs for thisexact reason.. I get lost in it and go to a deep dark place and fail to see any possible good this world may have. This is one such book which portrays all the evil the world has to offer. However I tell myself that I'd be I denial if I don't face the facts and acknowledge that the balance is tipping toward evil as time goes by.
I felt ashamed mostly while reading about Somaly's problems. I whine about the lack of the quality of life in here but there millions of others who live in worst conditions unfit even for an animal with absolutely no respite. The life for the women in Somaly's book is appalling and heartbreaking. I broke down several times during the book and felt this deep hatred for men who objectified women.
There is a trend among teenagers lately to complain that their parents don't pay enough attention or that they come from a dysfunctional family and hence they resort to drug habits and what not. You call that dysfunctional? Well what would you call it when your mother sells you to a brothel for a few measly dollars?
I was shocked by the reality that's parent would turn against their own child for money.. You were supposed to take care of the child for crying out loud.
I also agreed with Somaly when she said everyone would contribute to abolish sex trafficking.. It's tue. I'd someday do something so that I could sleep at night without guilt or remorse. Thank you Somaly. I needed this.
I felt ashamed mostly while reading about Somaly's problems. I whine about the lack of the quality of life in here but there millions of others who live in worst conditions unfit even for an animal with absolutely no respite. The life for the women in Somaly's book is appalling and heartbreaking. I broke down several times during the book and felt this deep hatred for men who objectified women.
There is a trend among teenagers lately to complain that their parents don't pay enough attention or that they come from a dysfunctional family and hence they resort to drug habits and what not. You call that dysfunctional? Well what would you call it when your mother sells you to a brothel for a few measly dollars?
I was shocked by the reality that's parent would turn against their own child for money.. You were supposed to take care of the child for crying out loud.
I also agreed with Somaly when she said everyone would contribute to abolish sex trafficking.. It's tue. I'd someday do something so that I could sleep at night without guilt or remorse. Thank you Somaly. I needed this.
November 7, 2016
I'm very frustrated to learn some of Somaly Mam's story is fabricated. It's especially frustrating after the Three Cups of Tea fiasco: https://www.google.com/amp/m.huffpost...
As Nicolas Kristof stated when addressing the inconsistencies of her story: truth is paramount. Doing good work that helps others does not exempt you from ethical behavior. We cannot allow someone the ability to fabricate their background in a way that dilutes the credibility of human rights work.
http://mobile.nytimes.com/blogs/krist...
Ugh just beyond frustrating to have to doubt the integrity of one of the champions, arguably THE CHAMPION, of ending forced prostitution and trafficking of women and girls. It's not enough to have good intentions people, you have to be ethical, especially when challenging the institutions ultimately stifling the rights of girls.
As Nicolas Kristof stated when addressing the inconsistencies of her story: truth is paramount. Doing good work that helps others does not exempt you from ethical behavior. We cannot allow someone the ability to fabricate their background in a way that dilutes the credibility of human rights work.
http://mobile.nytimes.com/blogs/krist...
Ugh just beyond frustrating to have to doubt the integrity of one of the champions, arguably THE CHAMPION, of ending forced prostitution and trafficking of women and girls. It's not enough to have good intentions people, you have to be ethical, especially when challenging the institutions ultimately stifling the rights of girls.
October 19, 2013
This is a story about a real Hero from a 3rd world country.
Somaly Mam is a living example of how we all should never hold back into the past in order to go through the present.
Her biography told how life is tough in Cambodia. How she got through since she was born in the 70's until today. She was forced to live the life of a slave and a prostitute but she was lucky and strong enough to save herself, that is when she tried and fought as hard as she could to heal her soul and find her inner peace.
I'm so fond and impressed by this inspiring story, It also got me curious about Cambodia and I intend to read more about it.
Somaly Mam is a living example of how we all should never hold back into the past in order to go through the present.
Her biography told how life is tough in Cambodia. How she got through since she was born in the 70's until today. She was forced to live the life of a slave and a prostitute but she was lucky and strong enough to save herself, that is when she tried and fought as hard as she could to heal her soul and find her inner peace.
I'm so fond and impressed by this inspiring story, It also got me curious about Cambodia and I intend to read more about it.
April 25, 2019
A powerful story, how a young person had their youth stolen from them, for the next decade they had no control over their life, at the mercy of others that made a financial profit from her. A deep look into how cruel life can be for some people, fortunately this person excaped their living nightmare thanks to the goodwill of another person, who offered her a helping hand and a path to a much improved life. I liked this book, it was sad in places, but a very readable book, no editorial errors in book, easy to read, the story flowed at the right pace. Well worth a read.
May 18, 2013
I was recommended this book by a friend (Hitesh). I did not know what to expect out of this book, when I first heard of it. The issue of prostitution in a country like India prevails since an era when kings had t heir reign, but prostitution existed out of the royal hedonist desires. I assume it was different then. It wasn’t enforced or violent.
Talking about this book, it is a memoir of a brave Cambodian lady, Somaly Mam, who was forced into Sex slavery, while she was a young girl. For a long time , she tried to come out of it and like a vicious circle, rather a downward spiral, kept falling back into the dark pit of prostitution. Again and again. She became numb and developed apathy, against everybody, but did not lose hope at any point of her life. After her long ordeal of pain and suffering, she succeeded in freeing herself and hundreds of other girls as well. Later on, she established an institute / NGO to help other girls. Somaly Mam faced a lot of difficulties and threats to her life, but the bravo lady, just did not know how to stop!
I was moved by how the simplicity and brevity of the book. The book is not written in the most perfect sense, it has its own flaws, but the emotions expressed are intense, true and real. What I liked about the book is the legitimacy of the emotions and that it balances the deep sufferings with equivalent hope!
Talking about this book, it is a memoir of a brave Cambodian lady, Somaly Mam, who was forced into Sex slavery, while she was a young girl. For a long time , she tried to come out of it and like a vicious circle, rather a downward spiral, kept falling back into the dark pit of prostitution. Again and again. She became numb and developed apathy, against everybody, but did not lose hope at any point of her life. After her long ordeal of pain and suffering, she succeeded in freeing herself and hundreds of other girls as well. Later on, she established an institute / NGO to help other girls. Somaly Mam faced a lot of difficulties and threats to her life, but the bravo lady, just did not know how to stop!
I was moved by how the simplicity and brevity of the book. The book is not written in the most perfect sense, it has its own flaws, but the emotions expressed are intense, true and real. What I liked about the book is the legitimacy of the emotions and that it balances the deep sufferings with equivalent hope!
January 3, 2011
Sold into slavery as a young girl—first as an indentured servant to a surly, violent older man, then, at 16, to a brothel—Mam could have lived a life of misery and defeat. Instead, she found freedom and security while keeping her remarkable spirit intact. This unflinching, searing memoir tells Mam’s story, from her early childhood as an orphan in the mountains of Cambodia to her current role as cofounder and president of the AFESIP (Acting for Women in Distressing Circumstances) and the Somaly Mam foundations, which have rescued more than 3,400 women and children throughout Southeast Asia. Mam’s voice is humble, matter-of-fact, and wrenchingly real. Her passionate refusal to let other girls suffer as she did spurs her to action. She began by gathering money to help distribute birth control as a precaution against AIDS, then moved on to rescue young women and girls, taking them into a shelter and teaching them employable skills—all against extraordinary odds. The story of Mam, nearly a twenty-first-century Mother Teresa, both inspires and calls to action. --Emily Cook
March 19, 2009
What a tough book to read. I cried a lot while I read this; it is heartbreaking to read about the atrocities that are happening right now in human trafficking. Somaly Mam's memoir recounts her past as a girl sold into prostitution and how she managed to slowly climb out of the pit she was unceremoniously dropped into. Though the story she tells is one of violence and inhumanity, it is also one of hope; she managed to do truly wonderful and amazing things for young girls (as young as 4) who were/are in the situation she was in herself. She does not see herself as a heroine or as an extraordinary woman, but it takes a lot of fortitude and strength to manage to do what she has done. I am inspired by her. She changed the lives of so many, yet she started out so small. She just took it step by step and managed to have her will and desire to save other girls blossom into a foundation that spans across the globe.
October 11, 2009
wow.
the suffering that is enduring by so many in their short lives is astonishing. as is the capacity in human beings for violence and cruelty, as well as the capacity to struggle for what is good and right.
there is so much that needs to be done about human trafficking, sex trade, slavery, rape, prostitution.
so much.
what is so compelling about this book is that it is a first hand account of someone who suffered her entire life, found a way out, and then committed herself to save others with her inside knowledge and pure will power.
the book is written in very simple english but it works because it is very real to the author and becomes very real to the reader. she knows this subject because she lived it. she isn't just writing about it.
the suffering that is enduring by so many in their short lives is astonishing. as is the capacity in human beings for violence and cruelty, as well as the capacity to struggle for what is good and right.
there is so much that needs to be done about human trafficking, sex trade, slavery, rape, prostitution.
so much.
what is so compelling about this book is that it is a first hand account of someone who suffered her entire life, found a way out, and then committed herself to save others with her inside knowledge and pure will power.
the book is written in very simple english but it works because it is very real to the author and becomes very real to the reader. she knows this subject because she lived it. she isn't just writing about it.
July 23, 2016
I have never been this disappointed in my entire life. The book is amazing and I was going to give it 5 stars, but after reading a couple of the other reviews here on Goodreads and a Google-search, I quickly changed it to 1 star! Somaly Mam is a fraud and writing this book on such a serious topic, while wrongfully claiming it as your own experiences, is a scorn on the women and girls who have actually experienced this. Nevertheless, this is a serious and important topic, that deserves to be addressed with the respect these women deserve and I would like to read a book by someone who has indeed survived this kind of life.
December 30, 2025
Reread.
O tym co przeszła Somaly najlepiej przeczytać samemu. Opuszczona przez rodziców, a później przez babkę, została sama. Zaopiekował się nią fałszywy dziadek, który zrobił z niej niewolnicę. Zaaranżował jej małżeństwo z człowiekiem, który ją gwałcił i bił. W końcu sprzedał ją do burdelu, gdzie znęcanie i tortury były codziennością. A to wszystko na tle trwających wojen, przewrotów, reżimu Czerwonych Khmerów i okupacji wietnamskiej.
Ale (jak twierdził Adler) nieważne co ci zrobili, ważne co ty z tym zrobisz. Bo Somaly w końcu odkryła jak się z tego koszmaru uwolnić. Pracując jako prostytutka, nawiązała bliższą znajomość z jednym z jej klientów Pierre'm, który pokazał jej, że nie każdy mężczyzna bije kobiety, że może być też czuły, troskliwy i delikatny. To on pomógł jej uwierzyć w siebie. Zaczęli razem pracować, w końcu się pobrali, choć nie był to różowy romans Kopciuszka z księciem. Kiedy Somaly stanęła dość mocno na własnych nogach dostrzegła, że ma możliwość pomóc dziewczynkom i kobietom, które są w takiej samej sytuacji. Zaczęło się od jednej, a przez lata było ich tysiące. Fundacje, które rozrosły się nie tylko w Kambodży, ale też w kilku innych krajach. Wiele ośrodków, w których ofiary znalazły schronienie, pomoc, troskę, opiekę lekarską. Gdzie mogły się uczyć przydatnych zawodów i gdzie potem wiele z nich zostawało, aby pomagać kolejnym. Sprawa handlu kobietami i dziećmi w Kambodży i w całej Azji środkowo-wschodniej stawała się coraz głośniejsza na całym świecie. Ale nie było to łatwe. Somaly i jej współpracownicy występowali przeciwko mafii nie mając prawie żadnego wsparcia. Jak można ochronić ofiary, kiedy do ośrodka wdziera się policja z gangsterami, ratując rzekomo porwane przez Somaly dziewczęta, a skorumpowane sądy wypuszczają bandytów na wolność?
Dziś sytuacja w tym rejonie nie wygląda o wiele lepiej, choć pewne kroki zostały podjęte. Przeszkoleni przez CIA tajni policjanci są czujni i zatrzymują wielu sutenerów, ale i oni stali się ostrożniejsi. Małe dzieci wciąż mieszkają na ulicy, oddając swoje ciała pedofilom z całego świata. Jak długo jeszcze?
Nie wiadomo dokładnie, co dzieje się z autorką obecnie. Wygląda na to, że fundacje już nie działają, a ślad jej ostatniej obecności w mediach, jest sprzed prawie sześciu lat. Czyżby komuś udało się skutecznie zamknąć jej usta?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t4Z6W...
"Mieszkańcy Thlok Chhrov wyznawali zasadę, że im ciemniejsza jest twoja skóra, tym jesteś głupszy."
"Miałam zaledwie szesnaście lat, a na czole wypisane słowo TOWAR."
"Jest powiedzenie: 'Nie pozwól żeby ogień, który pali się na zewnątrz, wdarł się do domu, i nie pozwól, by ogień z paleniska wydostał się na zewnątrz'. W Kambodży ludzie nie mówią o tym, co dzieje się w domu."
"Mniej więcej pół roku po ślubie dostałam pierwszej miesiączki. Miałam piętnaście lat i myślałam, że zraniła mnie pijawka z jeziora."
"Wśród Kambodżan panuje przekonanie, że seks z dziewicą dodaje sił, wydłuża życie, a nawet rozjaśnia skórę. Właśnie dlatego dzisiejsze domy publiczne proponują autentyczne dziewice i handlują dziećmi. Często są to bardzo młode dziewczynki - pięcio-, sześcioletnie. Kiedy tydzień dobiega końca, zaszywa się je - bez znieczulenia - i sprzedaje ponownie."
"Jestem buddystką (...) Ale mężczyźni, którzy torturują dziewczynki, także chodzą do świątyni. Czy oni również są buddystami? Pewnego dnia zadałam to pytanie kapłanowi (...) Odparł wówczas: "Somaly, po trzydziestu latach wojny nawet wśród mnichów są tacy, którzy chodzą do domów publicznych i gwałcą dziewczynki."
O tym co przeszła Somaly najlepiej przeczytać samemu. Opuszczona przez rodziców, a później przez babkę, została sama. Zaopiekował się nią fałszywy dziadek, który zrobił z niej niewolnicę. Zaaranżował jej małżeństwo z człowiekiem, który ją gwałcił i bił. W końcu sprzedał ją do burdelu, gdzie znęcanie i tortury były codziennością. A to wszystko na tle trwających wojen, przewrotów, reżimu Czerwonych Khmerów i okupacji wietnamskiej.
Ale (jak twierdził Adler) nieważne co ci zrobili, ważne co ty z tym zrobisz. Bo Somaly w końcu odkryła jak się z tego koszmaru uwolnić. Pracując jako prostytutka, nawiązała bliższą znajomość z jednym z jej klientów Pierre'm, który pokazał jej, że nie każdy mężczyzna bije kobiety, że może być też czuły, troskliwy i delikatny. To on pomógł jej uwierzyć w siebie. Zaczęli razem pracować, w końcu się pobrali, choć nie był to różowy romans Kopciuszka z księciem. Kiedy Somaly stanęła dość mocno na własnych nogach dostrzegła, że ma możliwość pomóc dziewczynkom i kobietom, które są w takiej samej sytuacji. Zaczęło się od jednej, a przez lata było ich tysiące. Fundacje, które rozrosły się nie tylko w Kambodży, ale też w kilku innych krajach. Wiele ośrodków, w których ofiary znalazły schronienie, pomoc, troskę, opiekę lekarską. Gdzie mogły się uczyć przydatnych zawodów i gdzie potem wiele z nich zostawało, aby pomagać kolejnym. Sprawa handlu kobietami i dziećmi w Kambodży i w całej Azji środkowo-wschodniej stawała się coraz głośniejsza na całym świecie. Ale nie było to łatwe. Somaly i jej współpracownicy występowali przeciwko mafii nie mając prawie żadnego wsparcia. Jak można ochronić ofiary, kiedy do ośrodka wdziera się policja z gangsterami, ratując rzekomo porwane przez Somaly dziewczęta, a skorumpowane sądy wypuszczają bandytów na wolność?
Dziś sytuacja w tym rejonie nie wygląda o wiele lepiej, choć pewne kroki zostały podjęte. Przeszkoleni przez CIA tajni policjanci są czujni i zatrzymują wielu sutenerów, ale i oni stali się ostrożniejsi. Małe dzieci wciąż mieszkają na ulicy, oddając swoje ciała pedofilom z całego świata. Jak długo jeszcze?
Nie wiadomo dokładnie, co dzieje się z autorką obecnie. Wygląda na to, że fundacje już nie działają, a ślad jej ostatniej obecności w mediach, jest sprzed prawie sześciu lat. Czyżby komuś udało się skutecznie zamknąć jej usta?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t4Z6W...
"Mieszkańcy Thlok Chhrov wyznawali zasadę, że im ciemniejsza jest twoja skóra, tym jesteś głupszy."
"Miałam zaledwie szesnaście lat, a na czole wypisane słowo TOWAR."
"Jest powiedzenie: 'Nie pozwól żeby ogień, który pali się na zewnątrz, wdarł się do domu, i nie pozwól, by ogień z paleniska wydostał się na zewnątrz'. W Kambodży ludzie nie mówią o tym, co dzieje się w domu."
"Mniej więcej pół roku po ślubie dostałam pierwszej miesiączki. Miałam piętnaście lat i myślałam, że zraniła mnie pijawka z jeziora."
"Wśród Kambodżan panuje przekonanie, że seks z dziewicą dodaje sił, wydłuża życie, a nawet rozjaśnia skórę. Właśnie dlatego dzisiejsze domy publiczne proponują autentyczne dziewice i handlują dziećmi. Często są to bardzo młode dziewczynki - pięcio-, sześcioletnie. Kiedy tydzień dobiega końca, zaszywa się je - bez znieczulenia - i sprzedaje ponownie."
"Jestem buddystką (...) Ale mężczyźni, którzy torturują dziewczynki, także chodzą do świątyni. Czy oni również są buddystami? Pewnego dnia zadałam to pytanie kapłanowi (...) Odparł wówczas: "Somaly, po trzydziestu latach wojny nawet wśród mnichów są tacy, którzy chodzą do domów publicznych i gwałcą dziewczynki."
February 5, 2020
Sold into slavery at 12yo, Somaly Mam recounts the horrors of human trafficking in Cambodia. She shares her own story but also the stories of the 4,000+ girls who have been saved through the organization she founded, AFESIP. This a heart-wrenching read but so important. Prostitution (much of it child prostitution) is a $500 million dollar business in Cambodia, almost as much as the entire government’s annual budget.
“People ask me how I can bear to keep doing what I do. I’ll tell you. The evil that’s been done to me is what propels me on. Is there any other way to excise it?”
“People ask me how I can bear to keep doing what I do. I’ll tell you. The evil that’s been done to me is what propels me on. Is there any other way to excise it?”
March 25, 2019
The Road of Lost Innocence is an autobiographical story of Somaly Mam, a Cambodian who was sold into prostitution at a young age but able to break out of her pimp’s prison and rebuild a life for herself – a life that she has fully dedicated to helping other young women and girls who have been stolen or sold into slavery and prostitution.
Somaly Mam is an amazing and driven woman - the recipient of many humanitarian awards around the world for her initiatives. She understands that the sex trade is rampant and has accepted that she cannot help every woman/girl slave/prostitute but instead focuses on helping as many as she can. Her work is one woman/girl at a time. She loves them, understands them having been there herself, helps them leave behind the lives they don’t want, nurtures and helps them heal physically and emotionally and provides training so that they can build a new life with an economic future for themselves so that they will always have choices of where and how to live. This book is primarily the story of Somaly Mam but we meet and learn the stories of many other young women/girl slaves/prostitutes.
The book is full of graphic details, much of it unpleasant but very integral to the story. It is simply unbelievable what human beings can do to each other. I learned a lot about the sex trade in the far east which is where the book takes place and Somaly’s work is focused, although she does point out that this is not a local issue but a global issue of epic proportions. Poverty, corruption and greed are huge factors in keeping the sex trade flourishing. Greedy people, including organized crime, are making big money by using other humans. Many police and the court system are being bribed and turning a blind eye to what’s happening. The gap between the rich and the poor is widening and many impoverished families see selling one of their own children into prostitution as a solution because it is one of the few viable options they see to feed the rest of the family and keep everyone healthy and together. Sad and so fixable.
Somaly Mam also spends time in the book explaining the Cambodian culture of silence and obedience which was intensified under the Pol Pot regime. This culture has enabled the sex trade to flourish and using prostitutes is now commonplace in all socio-economic classes. With younger and younger girls being sought after, tourists visiting for sex, the lack of condoms and safe sex methods, the permissible brutality towards the prostitutes and the spread of aids, the problems have only intensified.
Somaly Mam’s story and attempts to change things are inspirational. Her approach of educating the men and working with the police is making inroads. As Somaly Mam describes it - the acceptance of prostitution seems deeply systemic and it sounds like it will take time to turn things around. Mam is also reaching outside of her borders and seeking support from North Americans to continue her work.
I rate the book only 3 stars because I had higher expectations. The book was very fact based and I learned a lot. I had been hoping for a book by an author who would share more of herself and bring me more of a sense of herself. Based on her experiences and her admission of how difficult the book was to write, in hindsight, I think my expectation was unrealistic. Sharing such personal memories and experiences must have been very painful. Given the intimacy that would have been required and the ingrained culture of silence, I understand why the book was written in a more objective manner. I applaud the author for sharing as much as she did. I admire her courage and commitment. The book is an eye opener and well worth reading.
Somaly Mam is an amazing and driven woman - the recipient of many humanitarian awards around the world for her initiatives. She understands that the sex trade is rampant and has accepted that she cannot help every woman/girl slave/prostitute but instead focuses on helping as many as she can. Her work is one woman/girl at a time. She loves them, understands them having been there herself, helps them leave behind the lives they don’t want, nurtures and helps them heal physically and emotionally and provides training so that they can build a new life with an economic future for themselves so that they will always have choices of where and how to live. This book is primarily the story of Somaly Mam but we meet and learn the stories of many other young women/girl slaves/prostitutes.
The book is full of graphic details, much of it unpleasant but very integral to the story. It is simply unbelievable what human beings can do to each other. I learned a lot about the sex trade in the far east which is where the book takes place and Somaly’s work is focused, although she does point out that this is not a local issue but a global issue of epic proportions. Poverty, corruption and greed are huge factors in keeping the sex trade flourishing. Greedy people, including organized crime, are making big money by using other humans. Many police and the court system are being bribed and turning a blind eye to what’s happening. The gap between the rich and the poor is widening and many impoverished families see selling one of their own children into prostitution as a solution because it is one of the few viable options they see to feed the rest of the family and keep everyone healthy and together. Sad and so fixable.
Somaly Mam also spends time in the book explaining the Cambodian culture of silence and obedience which was intensified under the Pol Pot regime. This culture has enabled the sex trade to flourish and using prostitutes is now commonplace in all socio-economic classes. With younger and younger girls being sought after, tourists visiting for sex, the lack of condoms and safe sex methods, the permissible brutality towards the prostitutes and the spread of aids, the problems have only intensified.
Somaly Mam’s story and attempts to change things are inspirational. Her approach of educating the men and working with the police is making inroads. As Somaly Mam describes it - the acceptance of prostitution seems deeply systemic and it sounds like it will take time to turn things around. Mam is also reaching outside of her borders and seeking support from North Americans to continue her work.
I rate the book only 3 stars because I had higher expectations. The book was very fact based and I learned a lot. I had been hoping for a book by an author who would share more of herself and bring me more of a sense of herself. Based on her experiences and her admission of how difficult the book was to write, in hindsight, I think my expectation was unrealistic. Sharing such personal memories and experiences must have been very painful. Given the intimacy that would have been required and the ingrained culture of silence, I understand why the book was written in a more objective manner. I applaud the author for sharing as much as she did. I admire her courage and commitment. The book is an eye opener and well worth reading.
January 6, 2010
Tercekat. Satu kata yang pas untuk menggambarkan perasaan saya saat membaca buku ini. Kisah perdagangan manusia memang sudah sering kita dengar, namun saat dituturkan langsung oleh si korban, sering kali kita akan menggeleng tak percaya, menyimak kekejaman tak terperi yang harus dia tanggung. Saya sampai harus meletakkan buku ini beberapa kali untuk menghela napas.
Somaly Mam (nama yang dia pilih, pemberian bapak angkat baik hati, karena dia tak pernah tahu nama aslinya), hidup sendiri di antara suku Phnong di tengah hutan Kamboja, sejak kedua orang tuanya meninggalkan dia begitu saja. Umur 10 tahun, dia dibawa seorang kakek ke Desa Thlok Chrrov. Dan mimpi buruknya pun dimulai. Si 'kakek' memaksanya bekerja mengambil air untuk orang-orang desa, mengambil upah darinya, dan memukulinya sepanjang waktu.
Saat beranjak dewasa, Kakek menjualnya kepada seorang tentara untuk membayar hutang. Memang Somaly dinikahi, tapi perlakuan yang dia terima sama saja. Saat suaminya tidak kembali dari perang, Kakek kembali menjualnya kepada seorang germo di Phnom Penh. Setiap hari dia harus melayani sampai sepuluh laki-laki, di bangunan reyot yang kotor dan jorok, yang dihuni bersama beberapa gadis lainnya.
Tak perlulah saya berpanjang cerita tentang kebrutalan demi kebrutalan yang dialami Somaly. Paruh kedua buku ini mengisahkan transformasi Somaly dari seorang perempuan Kamboja yang hina, menjadi aktivis kemanusiaan yang berjuang memperbaiki kehidupan gadis-gadis muda yang dipaksa menjadi PSK.
Sungguh bukan perjuangan yang mudah. Dari sisi kesehatan jiwa, Somaly masih harus memulihkan diri dari trauma yang hingga kini masih menghantui mimpi buruknya. Namun pada saat bersamaan dia harus terus-menerus mendengar kisah-kisah kelam yang seakan tak ada habisnya. Bayangkan, untuk memastikan gadis-gadis yang ditawarkan rumah bordil masih perawan, sering kali anak-anak perempuan umur 5 atau 6 tahun sudah dijajakan (banyak yang dijual oleh keluarga mereka sendiri) Setelah klien pertama, anak-anak kecil itu dijahit tanpa anestesi, dan dijajakan sebagai perawan lagi!
Bayangkan betapa sakitnya saat harus memeluk penderita AIDS berumur 12 tahun yang dibuang di jalan setelah habis dipakai di rumah bordil, dan anak itu bertanya "Apakah Tuhan ada dan kenapa Dia membiarkan hal semacam itu terjadi pada anak kecil yang tak pernah berbuat salah." (hal. 252)
Belum lagi perjuangan melawan para birokrat dan penegak hukum yang nyata-nyata membekingi praktek perdagangan manusia ini bahkan menjadi investor sejumlah rumah bordil. Suatu kali, bersama yayasannya, AFESIP, Somaly berhasil menyeret enam laki-laki yang memerkosa seorang anak berusia 8 tahun ke pengadilan. Hakim yang sudah disuap kemudian membebaskan keenam laki-laki tersebut dengan alasan si anak 8 tahun bersalah karena telah berpakaian merangsang!
Kamboja (dan negara Asia Tenggara lainnya) saat ini memang menjadi tempat tujuan wisata yang 'seksi'. Namun seiring dengan itu, ancaman perdagangan manusia juga semakin meningkat dan bahkan semakin menggurita dengan pemain yang kian besar dan berkuasa. Orang-orang seperti Somaly Mam adalah benteng yang harus terus disokong agar tetap kokoh melawan kebiadaban manusia serta menyelamatkan nasib anak-anak, warga dunia yang paling lemah kedudukannya.
Somaly Mam (nama yang dia pilih, pemberian bapak angkat baik hati, karena dia tak pernah tahu nama aslinya), hidup sendiri di antara suku Phnong di tengah hutan Kamboja, sejak kedua orang tuanya meninggalkan dia begitu saja. Umur 10 tahun, dia dibawa seorang kakek ke Desa Thlok Chrrov. Dan mimpi buruknya pun dimulai. Si 'kakek' memaksanya bekerja mengambil air untuk orang-orang desa, mengambil upah darinya, dan memukulinya sepanjang waktu.
Saat beranjak dewasa, Kakek menjualnya kepada seorang tentara untuk membayar hutang. Memang Somaly dinikahi, tapi perlakuan yang dia terima sama saja. Saat suaminya tidak kembali dari perang, Kakek kembali menjualnya kepada seorang germo di Phnom Penh. Setiap hari dia harus melayani sampai sepuluh laki-laki, di bangunan reyot yang kotor dan jorok, yang dihuni bersama beberapa gadis lainnya.
Tak perlulah saya berpanjang cerita tentang kebrutalan demi kebrutalan yang dialami Somaly. Paruh kedua buku ini mengisahkan transformasi Somaly dari seorang perempuan Kamboja yang hina, menjadi aktivis kemanusiaan yang berjuang memperbaiki kehidupan gadis-gadis muda yang dipaksa menjadi PSK.
Sungguh bukan perjuangan yang mudah. Dari sisi kesehatan jiwa, Somaly masih harus memulihkan diri dari trauma yang hingga kini masih menghantui mimpi buruknya. Namun pada saat bersamaan dia harus terus-menerus mendengar kisah-kisah kelam yang seakan tak ada habisnya. Bayangkan, untuk memastikan gadis-gadis yang ditawarkan rumah bordil masih perawan, sering kali anak-anak perempuan umur 5 atau 6 tahun sudah dijajakan (banyak yang dijual oleh keluarga mereka sendiri) Setelah klien pertama, anak-anak kecil itu dijahit tanpa anestesi, dan dijajakan sebagai perawan lagi!
Bayangkan betapa sakitnya saat harus memeluk penderita AIDS berumur 12 tahun yang dibuang di jalan setelah habis dipakai di rumah bordil, dan anak itu bertanya "Apakah Tuhan ada dan kenapa Dia membiarkan hal semacam itu terjadi pada anak kecil yang tak pernah berbuat salah." (hal. 252)
Belum lagi perjuangan melawan para birokrat dan penegak hukum yang nyata-nyata membekingi praktek perdagangan manusia ini bahkan menjadi investor sejumlah rumah bordil. Suatu kali, bersama yayasannya, AFESIP, Somaly berhasil menyeret enam laki-laki yang memerkosa seorang anak berusia 8 tahun ke pengadilan. Hakim yang sudah disuap kemudian membebaskan keenam laki-laki tersebut dengan alasan si anak 8 tahun bersalah karena telah berpakaian merangsang!
Kamboja (dan negara Asia Tenggara lainnya) saat ini memang menjadi tempat tujuan wisata yang 'seksi'. Namun seiring dengan itu, ancaman perdagangan manusia juga semakin meningkat dan bahkan semakin menggurita dengan pemain yang kian besar dan berkuasa. Orang-orang seperti Somaly Mam adalah benteng yang harus terus disokong agar tetap kokoh melawan kebiadaban manusia serta menyelamatkan nasib anak-anak, warga dunia yang paling lemah kedudukannya.
September 16, 2018
For the first half of the book, I thought I was reading a 5-star book, well written and about a woman who overcame a horrific past and went on to help other girls do the same. Then I Googled Somaly Mam, just to get an update on what she's doing. And I discovered the controversy. For the rest of the book, I was looking for, and found, narcissism, grandiosity, and claims that were fishy. And I thought back to the beginning of the book, where she (or her translator) waxed lyrical about her as an orphan living alone in the forest, eating from Nature, talking to the trees, and sometimes participating in the tribal culture in the village she was born in. Who knows if it's true? Even if she believed it, she may have been too young to remember, or it could be a fantasy that she told herself later, to escape from trauma.
The book is undoubtedly full of lies, some big and some small. There's no way to know how many. The journalist who exposed her in Newsweek seemed too vituperative; I still wonder what was the story there. Then Marie Claire magazine went back to various sources and found that the Newsweek article was not necessarily true either. Currently, according to Google, she seems to be popular in Australia and with some of her old celebrity friends in America. So I don't have a clue.
Somaly Mam lived in Cambodia during and after a horrible era that left the whole country traumatized. She paints a picture of a culture where cruelty is pervasive, women are downtrodden, and corruption is the norm. She probably has axes to grind, but I am guessing (an uneducated guess) that she is accurate to a point, with self-serving (or vengeful) exaggerations. The Newsweek article says prostitution of young girls is very rare and that the number of children trafficked into prostitution is low, maybe only a few hundred. Other reports that agree more with what is in this book look more plausible to me. I don't know if she was sold or otherwise lured into sex slavery, even though the Newsweek article says no. I think it's public record that the organizations that she formed rescued at least hundreds, maybe thousands, of girls from horrible circumstances. As I continued to read the book, I could see that she probably exaggerated the percentage of the rescued girls who were very young - like 5 or 6 - and probably embellished or even made up stories of a few girls, as the Newsweek article alleges (and the Marie Claire article rebuts).
Somaly Mam displayed poor judgement in tweaking the truth to make the situation look dire (though it is for many people there) and making herself look like a hero. I think at the same time she was honestly trying to get the world's attention, and funding, into improving the situation. I believe the Newsweek account when it says that some of the workers and the girls at her rescue/rehabilitation centers say she's scary and has a temper. I also think that she has done a lot of good, and I see no evidence that anyone else was doing the same work for Cambodia at the time.
Anyway, after I found out about the controversy, reading the book was kind of a weird experience.
The book is undoubtedly full of lies, some big and some small. There's no way to know how many. The journalist who exposed her in Newsweek seemed too vituperative; I still wonder what was the story there. Then Marie Claire magazine went back to various sources and found that the Newsweek article was not necessarily true either. Currently, according to Google, she seems to be popular in Australia and with some of her old celebrity friends in America. So I don't have a clue.
Somaly Mam lived in Cambodia during and after a horrible era that left the whole country traumatized. She paints a picture of a culture where cruelty is pervasive, women are downtrodden, and corruption is the norm. She probably has axes to grind, but I am guessing (an uneducated guess) that she is accurate to a point, with self-serving (or vengeful) exaggerations. The Newsweek article says prostitution of young girls is very rare and that the number of children trafficked into prostitution is low, maybe only a few hundred. Other reports that agree more with what is in this book look more plausible to me. I don't know if she was sold or otherwise lured into sex slavery, even though the Newsweek article says no. I think it's public record that the organizations that she formed rescued at least hundreds, maybe thousands, of girls from horrible circumstances. As I continued to read the book, I could see that she probably exaggerated the percentage of the rescued girls who were very young - like 5 or 6 - and probably embellished or even made up stories of a few girls, as the Newsweek article alleges (and the Marie Claire article rebuts).
Somaly Mam displayed poor judgement in tweaking the truth to make the situation look dire (though it is for many people there) and making herself look like a hero. I think at the same time she was honestly trying to get the world's attention, and funding, into improving the situation. I believe the Newsweek account when it says that some of the workers and the girls at her rescue/rehabilitation centers say she's scary and has a temper. I also think that she has done a lot of good, and I see no evidence that anyone else was doing the same work for Cambodia at the time.
Anyway, after I found out about the controversy, reading the book was kind of a weird experience.
February 2, 2012
Somaly was sold into sexual slavery when she was 12 years old. Although this is her memoir, she stresses this is not just her story. This is the story of many young girls, some of whom Somaly highlights in her recounting of her personal life and the development of the Acting for Women in Distressing Situations.
Somaly Mam's story is a fantastic one for 2 reasons. One is that it highlights the depravity of human trafficking and how little we value those don't have the resources to protect themselves. Money is valued more than a child, violence is a means to an end, and to be female means to be without a voice. As a feminist and social justice activist there is a certain pain and hopelessness that comes from knowing so many children who should be able to trust adults to care for them and not harm them have been forced to endure that kind of trauma. It's not just raping the body but the mind and the spirit. Two is that it demonstrates how entrenched racism is in society. To read how frequently white/light was associated with beauty, and understand that here was a girl who lived so long without hearing she was beautiful. Heart-wrenching.
Human trafficking does not just happen in Cambodia or Asia. It happens everywhere. Thank you Somaly for sharing your story and working tirelessly to keep this from happening to others.
Memorable quotes: " To survive, you must be silent."
"I know the people who paid money to hurt these children...The only difference in social class is the order in which they use the girls. The richest, the government officials and big businessmen, go first. In the end, when a girl costs only 5,000 riel- just over one US dollar- it's the poor's turn. It's hard to say which is worse."
The entire introduction, forward, and afterword.
Somaly Mam's story is a fantastic one for 2 reasons. One is that it highlights the depravity of human trafficking and how little we value those don't have the resources to protect themselves. Money is valued more than a child, violence is a means to an end, and to be female means to be without a voice. As a feminist and social justice activist there is a certain pain and hopelessness that comes from knowing so many children who should be able to trust adults to care for them and not harm them have been forced to endure that kind of trauma. It's not just raping the body but the mind and the spirit. Two is that it demonstrates how entrenched racism is in society. To read how frequently white/light was associated with beauty, and understand that here was a girl who lived so long without hearing she was beautiful. Heart-wrenching.
Human trafficking does not just happen in Cambodia or Asia. It happens everywhere. Thank you Somaly for sharing your story and working tirelessly to keep this from happening to others.
Memorable quotes: " To survive, you must be silent."
"I know the people who paid money to hurt these children...The only difference in social class is the order in which they use the girls. The richest, the government officials and big businessmen, go first. In the end, when a girl costs only 5,000 riel- just over one US dollar- it's the poor's turn. It's hard to say which is worse."
The entire introduction, forward, and afterword.
May 7, 2019
As I was reading this "true story," my heart ached and my mind was reeling with the harsh realities of our world. How could anyone treat these beautiful children and young women with such lack of compassion or concern--beatings, rape, torture, abandonment, and more rape! I felt that the author Samaly Mam was such a hero! She lived that life....but got out of it--she survived! She built a foundation to protect young Cambodian women and girls from sex trafficking and forced prostitution. She was honored around the world! Such a moving and wonderful story of hope. I was even checking into where I could send a donation to help. Well, imagine my surprise and disgust and sadness when I found out that it was NOT real. It was, in fact, a work of FICTION not fact. Somaly Mam did NOT share an autobiographical account in her book THE ROAD OF LOST INNOCENCE. I was disheartened to know that she had duped so many who had read her memoir and were taken in by her story. She NEVER experienced any of what she said she did. She was NOT ripped from her family and forced into prostitution at all. She led a relatively normal life of that time. No doubt there is sex trafficking going on in our sad world, so for that awakening, I can say Somaly Mam the author of this FICTION story did a good job. I would have given this book a 5 star rating because of its story, not necessarily the writing style, but now, I give it a 2 star one--only because I learned from it!
Read
June 6, 2013I read this book for my senior exit project. My topic was about forced prostitution. This topic really stood out to me because we are all about equality for all, yet women and young girls are being forced into having sex with strangers for money that they never receive.
Somaly Mam wrote this book about her life and everything she went through. I think she's such a strong women due to all she's been through and being able to write about it and raise awareness. She was sold into prostitution by her grandfather when she was so young, 12 years old. She was young and didn't know much about what her grandfather put her in. She was a virgin and men pay much more when girls are virgins. Pimps before have sold virgins before and sewn them several times to make more money. Somaly was in brothels for over a decade where she witnessed her nightmares and was abused brutally. She was rescued by a aid worker and later on started a charity in Cambodia to help other girls who have gone through the same things as her. I think we all need to raise awareness and take action. By saying we care about women who are forced into forced prostitution won't do anything. If we take actionn and show pimps and brothel owners that we are here for the young girls less and less girls will be forced into prostitution. The real challenge is to take action and show support.
Somaly Mam wrote this book about her life and everything she went through. I think she's such a strong women due to all she's been through and being able to write about it and raise awareness. She was sold into prostitution by her grandfather when she was so young, 12 years old. She was young and didn't know much about what her grandfather put her in. She was a virgin and men pay much more when girls are virgins. Pimps before have sold virgins before and sewn them several times to make more money. Somaly was in brothels for over a decade where she witnessed her nightmares and was abused brutally. She was rescued by a aid worker and later on started a charity in Cambodia to help other girls who have gone through the same things as her. I think we all need to raise awareness and take action. By saying we care about women who are forced into forced prostitution won't do anything. If we take actionn and show pimps and brothel owners that we are here for the young girls less and less girls will be forced into prostitution. The real challenge is to take action and show support.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 1,092 reviews