30 Something and Over It: What Happens When You Wake Up And Don't Want to Go To Work Ever Again

by Kasey Edwards

Kasey Edwards has everything she’s always wanted—a successful career and the lifestyle and assets to match. But she’s empty and uninspired and doesn’t want to go to work . . . ever again. Terrified that she’ll spend the rest of her life wearing pinstripes and pretending to care about "adding value," Kasey embarks on a quest to rediscover passion and purpose in her life and work. We follow her on a journey of self-discovery as she looks for meaning in a puppy’s eyes, begs her gynecologist to cure her existential crisis, dabbles with the Law of Attraction, and braves 10 days of silent meditation. Meanwhile, her best friend Emma, who is experiencing a similar crisis, concentrates her search in the fields of casual sex and vodka shots. This irreverent yet poignant memoir will make you question our definition of the "perfect life," laugh at the absurdity of the modern workplace, and be warmed by the story of a friendship. Rise above your office cubicle for a moment and join Kasey in asking life’s big questions—and find the courage to listen to your answers.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, Biography, Personal Development, Self Help, Autobiography, Chick Lit

224 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2008

Reviews

[Ali Kennedy · Rating 3 out of 5]

I didn't realise that this was essentially a self help book. I would never have read it if I had. I thought it was a witty memoir. which, I suppose it is really. The humour is the main thing that kept me going through and some of the self discovery episodes would make me want to throw up.. If not for the cynicism the author shows in her own journey.
I found a lot in common with my own experiences now as a thirty something woman and loved some of the little snippets of advice. such as, looking beyond our career identity for who we are. Its so obvious it shouldn't need said but I think I needed to hear it to be honest.
I wasn't a fan of the feminist slant, I think many men feel the same and some of the assumptions about us living in a men's world annoyed me. I'm sure men desire flexibility and autonomy and aren't all super ambitious too. i think that comparing us to men in such a negative way can be the antithesis of what feminism should be striving to achieve.
All that said, I'm glad I read this as it has impacted me.

[Shelleyrae at Book'd Out · Rating 2 out of 5]

I'm not sure if it's naivete or ego but either way it took Edwards a year to figure out what has been obvious for decades, and been dissected by every talk show - too much of anything is not a good thing. Much like Ms Gilbert ( Eat, Pray, Love: One Woman's Search for Everything Across Italy, India and Indonesia) Edwards has the means to indulge her whims, debt notwithstanding, (since we support a family of 6 on what is probably a quarter of her part time income),perhaps I'm a little jealous of that :) .
The most annoying thing for me is that despite an awful lot of talk on her behalf of "giving back" she doesn't actually manage to do anything altrusic at all.
So, IMO nothing new to learn, but an easy read and she did find her own elusive balance which is an achievement to be admired.

[Leanne · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved reading this book! I kept thinking "This is the book I should have written" and "I think she's writing about my life!" and I imagine other readers would feel the same because it's a very relatable issue. The author makes it clear she's not writing a self-help book for others or providing 'the' answer to any of life's tougher questions - she's just written down her story, and it's been published (and I think deservedly so). I enjoyed that the book is more 'real' and practical, rather than academic and bedded down in the psychology behind the dilemma Kasey was facing eg. life phases etc., as the author is a natural comedienne and the book is written in the way that you would talk about this sort of issue if you were having a face-to-face conversation with someone, eg. "the more you try to line your ducks up in life, the more they shit on you"! I'm looking forward to reading other books by Kasey Edwards.

[Rosie · Rating 4 out of 5]

In this book, I learnt of many books including 'Man's search for Meaning' by Viktor Frankl

Frankl says that meaning is not created by having or achieving something, but rather by striving toward & struggling for a worthwhile goal. A freely chosen task. It's the process of trying to accomplish something that creates meaning.

Page 254 & 255 deserves 5 stars for the positive summary about the cliche 'journey'.

Interesting quotes on 'finding my give a shit'
'I want a job that will fund my lifestyle but not interfere with it'

'Maybe when your life is enriched with other things, like hobbies, friends & family, you can afford to lower your expectations of work, because your needs are being met by those other things'

Barbara Shers 'in order to find meaningful work we need to understand the connection between doing what we love and doing something worth doing - something that has meaning'

'There are many books about defining your career path, finding your passion and discovering your strengths & skills. This raises the question: when there are so many books in the world to help us find career satisfaction, why are so many of us discontented & miserable? I'm a sucker for a self-help book. I wish I could tell you that I was above it, but I'd be lying. Not only do I love the idea of continually improving myself, I also really enjoy reading them. I can't help it; I've always been a nerd'

There's plenty of New Age self help books... The Celestine Prophecy and The Power of Now. Unfortunately no closer to discovering the formula for job satisfaction.
The most effective strategy is to do things, try things.

The more you try to line up all the ducks in your life, the more they'll just shit on you

Primarily, people need a compelling reason to change. It is not until something has become intolerable that we are forced into action. There is no such thing as 'the answer' that will last for life. It's arrogant to think that there is. Everyone needs to work out for themselves what works for them.

The only thing we can control is our internal response to these events.

Have you become contented in your discontent?

The point is more elegantly illustrated here...
Getting out of the cocoon is hard work for butterflies and it takes time. But the process of fighting against the constraints of silk is necessary for them to learn to use their wings. Without the struggle, their own personal struggle in their own time, they will never be able to fly.

All the knowledge required already resides within each person. Sometimes they just need somebody to shine a flashlight into the darkness so they can see it

Putting all of our happiness eggs into the career basket is asking for trouble. People who are happiest with their jobs are either not thinking about what they are doing and why, or they have the lowest expectations about what work will bring to their lives. John Stuart Mill 'Utilitarianism' said it's important not to expect more from life than it is capable of bestowing
The same applies to our jobs. A job will never fulfil our relationship needs, it's unlikely to link us to our communities and, if it is a source of friendship, we need to be clear about the distinction between friendship & networking associates.
Meaning & fulfilment can come from many areas of life. Work is just one ingredient in a happy life.

We need something to care about that is bigger than ourselves - something to nurture, grow and invest in.

[Helen King · Rating 3 out of 5]

I enjoyed it - an easy to read 'year in the life' of someone who realises she has been fortunate to be in a work situation seen as 'successful' - but doesn't actually enjoy it. Once some of the legitimate reasons are stripped away (bit of a boys club, hours of work leaving little time for developing sense of self, etc), she realises the issues go a bit deeper. More specifically, if you are in the fortunate position of having options, it's worth exploring them. Each option will involve some form of sacrifice - so what is most important for you? (financial security, prestige, challenges, using talents, helping others, flexibility, etc, etc). Nicely written - there are a lot of books in this genre so not revolutionary, but a good read.

Couple of quotes I took away:

Curiosity about yourself and your world helps 'Curiosity and judgment can't exist in the same space'. Being less judgmental has allows (x) to look at what is possible rather than focus on what she should and shouldn't do. This has opened up professional and personal possibility she wouldn't otherwise have had.'

A common theme with 'thirty something and over it' professionals is that they are trying to reject everything they have now rather than embracing it and working out which bits they can keep and use. 'It's really important to recognise that you don't have to change everything,' she says. 'It's often too big a leap to walk away from what you do well, and it's not helpful for people to end up thinking they've wasted that last ten years of their life.' Rather than running away from what we are good at, we need to work out how we can build on it to create something better.'

[Judith · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was going to give this 2 stars because it royally annoyed me in the beginning. But once I accepted it for what it is (a retelling of the author's own experience 'peppered' with advice from self-help books) I enjoyed it. The references to self-help books in really short paragraphs is a bit annoying. I didn't feel like they added anything and was just to show that the author read other literature on this topic. Not sure it was necessary. Much more interesting was when she talked to people she met and let them tell their experiences. I thought this made the book a bit more well rounded and contrasted well with Edwards' own experience.
Edwards writes from a privileged position and she acknowledges this herself. But I still sometimes couldn't help being annoyed at her naïveté and spoilt behaviour. On the other hand this leads to her going through a learning curve. This was actually the point the book became interesting to me, when Edwards started to change, through her opinions and behaviours and when this led to change in how others behaved towards her.
Overall a good book, good to get somebody else's perspective on what is next after you left uni, worked for a few years and are over it.

[Kirsty Grant · Rating 2 out of 5]

I want to say something positive about this book. Okay, it is a quick read, I actually wanted to continue reading it although I am not sure if my reasons for this were because of enjoyment. I chose this book as I am going to be writing a part memoir for my dissertation. I liked the synopsis because I enjoy a bit of humour. In the past I have read (and enjoyed) a book by Mike Gayle called 'Turning Thirty' which I thought, and hoped, this book would have been similar. WRONG!!!!
Edwards basically writes some (I believe) far fetched memoir but mingles it with self help bullshit that has been regurgitated from other peoples ideas. I am confused by the author's objectives. Whilst I appreciate any woman who is a good and opinionated feminist, I feel that Edward's 'Sisterhood' is cringey. The writer comes across as middle class and perhaps would have benefited from excluding her middle class status to seem less arrogant to working class readers.

I learned of a technique for essay writing in college (PEE) Point, Evidence and Evaluation. This is a formula that Edwards uses throughout her book and it makes the flow very artificial instead of conversational.
On the plus side, it was her first novel, and she managed to write it and publish it. It just wasn't for me.

[Sketching Girl · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was fantastic! I really enjoyed it! I could completely relate to the author's climb up the corporate ladder and suddenly finding that I really didn't care at all anymore! It is great to read that I am not the only person in the world to feel like this, and to follow along with the author on her journey to find out more about this quarter-life crisis, and try to find a way around it. This book is full of great humour and situations (which anyone who has worked in an office can relate to). It made me feel ten times better about how I have felt at work, and have spent many an evening sitting up in bed tucking into the next chapter. A fantastic feel good read!

[Kasey Edwards · Rating 5 out of 5]

But I would give it 5 stars, wouldn't I?

[Athena Macmillan · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book promised a new way of looking at the crisis that many women face in their lives where ambition comes to a bit of a stand still and we question the things we have done up til this point. It promised humor and sensitivity. It just didn't seem to deliver on any of these points.

Perhaps this franchise of memoir writing is wearing thin on me - middle class, suburban white woman with happy relationship and fantastic career gets bored of her life and decides this constitutes a crisis. So what does she decide to do in order to change this? Travel? Education? Religion? NO! She mopes for a year, does a bit of yoga, meditates, then decides to work part time instead of full time while she writes about how she moped for a year.

There are some interesting parts that I felt if the author had of explored in more depth it would have lent some more gravitas to the book. We see slices of her childhood and adult life that offer glimpses of her depth as a person, but they are brushed aside in favor of more interesting tidbits, such as looking at puppies in a pet store, or having another glass of wine.

I may be thirty something myself, but I'm not over anything apart from this particular brand of memoir writing.

[Jenny · Rating 3 out of 5]

It's good to know that I'm not the only one "over" having to go to work. No real answers in the book, but it's fascinating to read someone else's "journey" and some interesting statistics along the way - though I can't quite believe that 98% of people are not happy at work. The idea that there aren't enough women in upper management is because they don't want the promotions (or that other women who could support them in getting the promotion have already left) is interesting. Not the case in my industry - which is female dominant all the way to the top of the ladder - but I can see that might be the case in male dominated work places.

Personally I couldn't think of anything worse than climbing the corporate ladder - I just want a fulfilling job without buckets of stress (I have better things to worry about). I already work part-time - there is nothing better (though I am sick of people asking me if I have children, and when the answer is "no", ask me with a bewildered look on their face "what do you do with your time?" - as if I couldn't possibly have a good reason to work part time other than child-rearing)

[Shaifali · Rating 2 out of 5]

The book starts as a memoir, works up as a confused shit in the middle, and ends as a self-help book.

The author has did a lot of research, but has not put it in a structured manner for the reader to make any sense of it.
Lots of real-life stories of women in their 30s who felt aimless and over-it after climbing to the top of the corporate ladder all through their 20s; has quoted a lot of other authors of several self-help books— but the author is as confused about it as the readers, on why women might feel thay way.
Kasey Edwards even goes on to say that this is just a phase of life that is felt by both men and women; and in short, diluting the whole purpose of writing a book on it which uptill half-point looked at the topic from a gendered persepective.

Read the book only because I have found her columns on feminism to be good.

[Jess - The Tales Compendium · Rating 3 out of 5]

Kasey Edwards lost her give-a-shit. Over a turbulent year she sets out to find what really matters in her life and what is important to her. She discovers that being ' thirty-something and over it' is actually a pretty common occurrence amongst women in their 30's and everyone deals with it their own way. The secret to getting their give-a-shit back is finding out what is really important to them and applying it in a manner that enables them to be happy and have balance in their lives.

This is an interesting and sometimes funny read, even if you are not in your thirties and over it yet. Most people can relate to not being happy in their chosen career and can therefore take inspiration from reading this.

[Wanjiru · Rating 3 out of 5]

Reading "30 something and over it" was like striking up a conversation with a stranger at your favorite cafe where you realize you have "so-much-in-common-about-what's-not-going-right-with-life-despite-your-different-contexts" then you finish your coffee, pay your bill and go home thinking "Hmmmm!"
I liked that I could relate to her "thrisis" issues - those "Aha!" moments that made me review the things I thought I valued and reinforced the fundamentals.
I especially liked the Vipassana experience, get in touch with yourself first so as to touch others!
The book drove me to reacquaint myself with old friends over a metaphorical cuppa -Humility, forgiveness, patience, fortitude, silence/meditation/prayer ... My essentials for connecting with my purpose!

[Wouter · Rating 2 out of 5]

Interesting read my girlfriend recommended me. I recognized a lot of situations she's in, or i'm in, but some chapters are also very annoying to read. Like other reviewers already said, it's very opinionated - and that's okay, it's a memoir, not an objective paper. But those opinions are mostly not very well supported - quick to judge everything. And Kasey mentions that herself, that's her personality, so again there's nothing wrong with that, it's just not my kind of book, except for the theme.
I do like her other book references. All in all it was interesting to read and I can imagine others reflecting on their own lives after reading this one, but in essence almost everything written here can be found somewhere else, in a better format.

[Bec · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting pieces in this overall average read.

Having had my 30 something and over it stage in my early twenties, I could definately appreciate the history behind the book, but never having the "luxury" of earning a six figure salary for my 60+ hour weeks I couldn't sympathise with her much.

It's a combination of social commentary, part memoir and a review of some common career based self help books.

A key question after reading the Acknowledgements section, is she thanks her mum, whom she said was dead right from the start, so unless she has made connections with her step-mum I'm at a loss how it can be a memoir unless it's the case.

[R K · Rating 4 out of 5]

Being 30-something and DEFINITELY over it myself, I really enjoyed Ms Edward's book. She describes with self-deprecating humour what it's like to have a mid-life crisis in your 30s and realise that you want more from life.

I particularly enjoyed the serious parts of the book, dealing with our Australian workplace and its unwillingness to embrace more flexible working arrangements.

There's a lot in this book, but it's a surprisingly engaging, easy and quick read, which is testament to how well Kasey Edwards writes.

[Manda · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book!

I find myself "over it" or lose my "give-a-fuck" on a regular basis, but I'm lucky enough to only experience it for short periods of time... this book however gave me some really great insights into why it happens and how I can deal with it.

Experiencing a Thrisis (Thirty-something crisis) is very common, and I would recommend this book to anyone who is questioning their life path, their place in the world, or who is thirty-something and has a job, because one day the Thrisis will come, and its better to be prepared ahead of time!

[The Twins · Rating 4 out of 5]

When I picked up the book at the library I thought it was a chickflick. Being in an older stage in life as Kasey it was still an interesting read and I find myself struggling more in my 40ties than my 30ties. I liked the books and authors she was referring to and will pick up a couple of leads from there...

[Iina · Rating 2 out of 5]

"Parasta koukuttavassa tarinassa on se, että kirjoittaja suhtautuu itsensä ja kriisinsä huumorilla mutta silti tosissaan", sanoo Mirka Heinonen (Anna 49/2011) "Kolkyt ja risana" kirjasta. Totta, paitsi ettei kirja suorastaan koukuttanut. Kepeä elämänhallintaopashan tämä on, mutta osaa olla sitä sormea heristämättä. Lotta Heikkerin käännöstyössä kuultaa läpi alkuperäiskieli.

[Naomi · Rating 3 out of 5]

Like many other readers, the situation Kasey speaks about in this book is scarily relevant to me! I even have the same job! I really enjoyed the first half of this book, but in the end, found it drifted a little and I'm not sure how I feel at the end. I really like her writing style though, so I'm pleased she found her new career!

[Marja · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this because Kasey's struggle with her lack of motivation at work seemed to resonate with my own struggle. And it did, I haven't read a book I so fully agree with for a while. This really hit home.

Even though painfully relatable at times, I enjoyed reading this. Funny, witty and very honest.

[Rachele Hayward · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good memoir and self-help hybrid -- honest and pretty funny, with lots of relatable anecdotes and some good tips for dealing with career crises, our Saturn Return and the early 30s slump. The protagonist is a smart feminist and had some tough breaks in life, but doesn't acknowledge her tremendous (white, British, upper-class) privilege, which makes the book a bit hard to read, at times.

[Mel · Rating 5 out of 5]

WOW!!!!! I absolutely treasured it. So much of it completely resonated with me. I think I highlighted half the book for all the gems of wisdom and key messages I wanted to take away with me. So many fantastic insights that are so relevant to me at this time in my life.

Such a fantastic, honest, funny, insightful book.

[Pippa Kirchmann · Rating 3 out of 5]

Nothing groundbreaking here but a very nice, well researched and at times pretty entertaining account of one woman's mission to find her meaning in life. I enjoyed her take on things and found her no-nonsense approach refreshing. I also thank her for saving me from having to read 30-off self help books as she shares her findings!!

Would definitely recommend it for a light and entertaining read

[Emma · Rating 4 out of 5]

I preferred the first half of this book to the second half as I enjoyed the parts where she interviewed or read other books and shared her findings...it got a little 'hippy' for me around 60% through but others may like that part. She has an honest and frank writing style which is refreshing and never claims to be an experts. Generally an enjoyable read that did get me thinking:)

[Nancy Chen · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this when I was approaching 30 and had been "over it" for a while. I used to dread going to work every morning, so I could totally relate to the author's journey (although I wasn't anywhere near as successful as her on the corporate ladder). I'd recommend this to anyone who's in the same situation and is looking for a change in life!

[Ester is reading · Rating 3 out of 5]

Es un libro autobiográfico con un punto de humor ácido que trata de hacernos razonar y valorar la vida desde diversos puntos a base de las anécdotas de la propia autora. Es entretenido y como buen libro de cabecera no puede ser leído de una sentada como si fuese una novela sino buscando esos momentos de inspiración o profundidad que todos tenemos.

[K · Rating 3 out of 5]

I am seeing this book being read by 30-something women on trains all over Sydney at the moment!

I found it compulsive reading, but in the end, no real conclusions that I couldn't I have come to myself. I found it rather shallow reading, but I will seek out some of the books she recommends.

[Rachel]

Very easy to identify with this book. Don't think it really gave me any answers but I found it entertaining. Well written and honest, I'd recommend this book to anyone who's felt that there must be more to life than work.