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Simon Canderous #2.5 - for lizzie
Zombie Raccoons & Killer Bunnies
If you've ever lived with animals, have spent time in the country wondering what those howls and hoots were all about, thought living next to a pet cemetery might be a good idea, or if you just like to speculate about "things that go bump in the night" and spend endless hours playing some of the more amusing fantasy games available today, Zombie Raccoons & Killer Bunnies is the perfect book for you.
The fifteen tales included here range from chilling to humorous, from fairy-tale settings to high-tech situations. What they share is originality and critters. From an ongoing conflict between chickens and killer bunnies, to a raccoon ready to defend its own at any cost...from a Siamese cat in league with a super squirrel to a story about the white bull of Tara - you'll find tales about both the creatures you see around you every day, and those you should hope never to meet.
308 pages, Mass Market Paperback
First published October 6, 2009
2 people are currently reading
197 people want to read
About the author
Martin H. Greenberg
911 books163 followersMartin Harry Greenberg was an American academic and speculative fiction anthologist. In all, he compiled 1,298 anthologies and commissioned over 8,200 original short stories. He founded Tekno Books, a packager of more than 2000 published books. In addition, he was a co-founder of the Sci-Fi Channel.
For the 1950s anthologist and publisher of Gnome Press, see Martin Greenberg.
For the 1950s anthologist and publisher of Gnome Press, see Martin Greenberg.
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Displaying 1 - 29 of 29 reviews
July 2, 2015
I wasn't expecting much from this book, so I can't say I'm disappointed in it. Yet each day when I opened it up, my closet optimist was secretly hoping that today would be the day I'd read a story that didn't pretty well suck. I definitely approached each tale with a prove-me-wrong-people attitude.
Yeah, there's a reason that optimist STAYS in the closet.
The wacky title and silly cover promise some sort of comedic horror within, but alas, the stories weren't funny OR scary.
The one exception and the reason the book gets two stars instead of one was BunRabs by Donald J. Bingle - a clever and fairly humorous look at why chicken dread the coming of Easter.
Bwwaaaaaaaaaaaakkkkk!
Yeah, there's a reason that optimist STAYS in the closet.
The wacky title and silly cover promise some sort of comedic horror within, but alas, the stories weren't funny OR scary.
The one exception and the reason the book gets two stars instead of one was BunRabs by Donald J. Bingle - a clever and fairly humorous look at why chicken dread the coming of Easter.
Bwwaaaaaaaaaaaakkkkk!
January 17, 2014
This anthology has an over-the-top crazy cover and title, but the contents aren't, for the most part, memorable enough to really pull it off successfully. There are good stories from Carrie Vaughn, Tim Waggoner, Richard Lee Byers, and Nina Kiriki Hoffman, and I enjoyed others from Anton Strout, Steven H. Silver, and Brenda Cooper, but none of them were really overwhelmingly memorable or truly excellent. It's a good collection for the most part, but doesn't, in my opinion, pay off the build up.
December 21, 2009
I’ve finished Zombie Raccoons and Killer Bunnies, edited by Martin H. Greenberg & Kerrie Hughes and overall it was an OK anthology. A few stories stood out, and those I’ve denoted with bold titles. A few of the stories were disappointing, either with an ending that wasn’t as satisfactory as I would have liked, or with an ending that just didn’t make sense to me at all. There were some good chilling stories in here, along with some fun humorous takes on the theme, so a wide variety overall. If you like “creature of the night” stories, then you’ll find a couple of good reads in here, but in the end I was a little disappointed overall.
Table of Contents:
Death Mask by Jody Lynn Nye: This was a zombie raccoon story, where the raccoons come up against a farmer who doesn’t agree with the idea that you need to commune with nature. It was an OK story, but I had a hard time getting used to the voice of the farmer character, which threw me off.
BunRabs by Donald J. Bingle: And this was a killer bunny story . . . told from the POV of a chicken. *grin* The chicken’s POV of the world in general is hilarious, especially their take on modern day conveniences (and how they use them) and the mythology they’ve developed about rabbits and how they incorporate some of our own traditions into their worldview. A fun story.
for lizzie by Anton Strout: A cute little story set in Anton’s “Simon Canderous” universe, although it doesn’t feature Simon as a character. The main character is an archivist, dealing with a certain lack of social skills when dealing with the opposite sex . . . along with a rather ferocious little book wyrm.
Faith in Our Fathers by Alexander B. Potters: The idea here is that young child who can heal with his hands in upset because his pet cats keep disappearing. His father tells him it’s the fisher cats (who aren’t fishers or cats) that keep taking them, so the boy decides he wants to find these fisher cats and goes in search of them. He finds something more instead. It was an interesting story, written well, but at the end I wanted more. I wanted the story to do more, especially since there was so much potential for more in what was presented in the story. With that said, though, this is the best story in the anthology so far.
Bone Whispers by Tim Waggoner: The creature in this story is a rather large and supernatural groundhog, haunting a cemetery. The story revolves around a man returning to the cemetery to confront the groundhog, who had a run-in with when he was twelve years old. I felt like this story needed a little more development, with the connection between the groundhog, the man, the boy, and the groundhog’s hole (and the cemetery) fleshed out more. It had a creepy ending though.
Watching by Carrie Vaughn: And here we deal with pigeons. A man proposes to his girlfriend after taking her to Venice . . . only to have her say no. This sets the man’s life onto a whole new track as he sets out to backpack across Europe, discovering pigeons the entire step of the way. Only the pigeons aren’t exactly what they seem. The first half of the story was interesting, and the character drew me in, but then the story takes a hard sharp turn (perhaps even a hair-pin turn) in the middle and becomes a completely different kind of story altogether. This wasn’t a bad thing and the ending itself makes you smile, in a sort of funny/gruesome kind of way.
The Things That Crawl by Richard Lee Byers: This story doesn’t single out one particular type of creature, it sort of deals with snakes, lizards, alligators, etc, in general. And this is the most well developed story in the anthology. I connected to the main character, a detective who has an alcohol problem, so has been demoted and has relocated to the coast of Florida where, after a hurricane passes through, discovers that the local wildlife isn’t behaving as usual. He picks up on this and puts the pieces together (he is a detective after all), but the conclusion is, of course, too supernatural for the average person to believe. He ends up being forced to deal with the situation himself. Again, a very well-written, cohesive story with a rounded plot, rounded character arc, and a beginning, middle, and end.
The White Bull of Tara by Fiona Patton: This is a story centered around the White Bull of Tara. It begins interestingly enough—fairy cows are breaking through from the fairy realm to munch on the Druids’ garden and a pack of siblings/guards are tasked to stop the incursion. They figure out who’s causing the problem, and why . . . and then the story just kind of dies. They don’t really do much to stop the incursion from the fairy side, but the cows stop coming. Instead, the White Bull’s rival comes through and has his way with the local herd. It just felt like the story fell apart to me, or skewed off in a different direction from the first two-thirds of the story, and so the ending didn’t feel right.
Dead Poets by John A. Pitts: I don’t think I understand this story at all. I REALLY, REALLY liked the idea introduced at the beginning: the main animal here is the shrike, a bird, which (I didn’t know this before reading the story) apparently captures its prey and impales it on thorns on hedges and such around its nest. A cool factoid in and of itself. When, in the course of the story, the main characters finds that the shrike pestering her garden has started impaling pixies as well as rodents and such, the story jumped into a whole new level of interest for me. I seriously thought this would be the coolest story in the anthology . . . but then it completely fell apart near the end. Great setup, great idea, great animal . . . but nothing is done with it in my opinion. It kind of just trails off.
Super Squirrel to the Rescue by P.R. Frost: This story was cute, as the title suggests, with only a little touch of “evil creature from the night” to it. In this case, the evil creatures were crows, a whole murder of them, tormenting a neighborhood. Every attempt by the people to eliminate them was ignored and ridiculed with cawing. It required a rather supernatural squirrel to come to the rescue!
Her Black Mood by Brenda Cooper: This time, the creature of the night was much darker, a black toad created by the main character who can paint wooden carved creatures to life. However, she’s in such a black mood due to her life that this toad, when she paints it alive, comes out rather evil, with teeth and a lust for blood. Brenda Cooper captures the black mood of the character perfectly (we’ve all felt like this at some point, I’m sure) and the toad comes across as evil indeed, but I felt the resolution of the story could have used a little more umph. It made sense (unlike some of the other stories in this anthology), but I felt that so much time was spent on creating the situation and background that there should have been a little more time spent on resolving it all. It took 10 pages for the setup and making the toad as evil as possible, but only 2 pages to resolve the entire situation. A little unbalanced, but definitely a good read.
Ninja Rats on Harleys by Elizabeth A. Vaughan: The title pretty much says it all. *grin* A fun little story with evil rats and possums, a heroic mouse, and two flatulent dogs. Oh, plus a few humans. An interesting and enjoyable read, with just the right amount of humor thrown into the danger. But again this story felt unfinished. Unlike some previous stories in the anthology though, this one felt complete in and of itself, but also felt like the start of something much bigger. At least, I felt like I could have flipped the page and started another chapter when I reached the end. A good story overall though. Definitely entertaining.
Bats in Thebayou by Steven H Silver: Alien bats, anyone? That’s the main creature in this story (plus mosquitoes). Earth has been invaded by alien bats . . . we just don’t know it yet. The story flips back and forth between an alien bat perspective and the human perspective of two campers in Thebayou. I’m not sure this was effective overall, since I was much more interested in the alien bat perspective and not interested at all in the human perspective. But again, the ending was unsatisfactory to me. And aside from the main creature being a bat, there wasn’t much in the way of “creature of the night” feeling to this story.
Twilight Animals by Nina Kiriki Hoffman: This story was well-written, with a main character who could at this point in his life be labeled a “loser.” He’s hired to watch over his brother’s house while his brother and family tour Europe for a month. Since this guy’s in college, he decides to do some research on the neighborhood, ostensibly for a paper for school. Of course, he begins seeing things during his studies that just aren’t natural, in this case, a peculiarly large possum population. The ending is also peculiarly reminiscent of another story in this anthology, which is kind of bizarre. But overall a good story.
The Ridges by Larry D. Sweazy: The last story is about foxes . . . sort of. I can’t say much about the storyline without ruining it, so I’ll just say that the storyline here was good and it didn’t end the way I thought it would as I read it. I had the right idea, in general, but the author twisted it around into something different than what I’d expected by the end. Not really a “creature of the night” story in true form, although it certainly fit the theme of the anthology
Table of Contents:
Death Mask by Jody Lynn Nye: This was a zombie raccoon story, where the raccoons come up against a farmer who doesn’t agree with the idea that you need to commune with nature. It was an OK story, but I had a hard time getting used to the voice of the farmer character, which threw me off.
BunRabs by Donald J. Bingle: And this was a killer bunny story . . . told from the POV of a chicken. *grin* The chicken’s POV of the world in general is hilarious, especially their take on modern day conveniences (and how they use them) and the mythology they’ve developed about rabbits and how they incorporate some of our own traditions into their worldview. A fun story.
for lizzie by Anton Strout: A cute little story set in Anton’s “Simon Canderous” universe, although it doesn’t feature Simon as a character. The main character is an archivist, dealing with a certain lack of social skills when dealing with the opposite sex . . . along with a rather ferocious little book wyrm.
Faith in Our Fathers by Alexander B. Potters: The idea here is that young child who can heal with his hands in upset because his pet cats keep disappearing. His father tells him it’s the fisher cats (who aren’t fishers or cats) that keep taking them, so the boy decides he wants to find these fisher cats and goes in search of them. He finds something more instead. It was an interesting story, written well, but at the end I wanted more. I wanted the story to do more, especially since there was so much potential for more in what was presented in the story. With that said, though, this is the best story in the anthology so far.
Bone Whispers by Tim Waggoner: The creature in this story is a rather large and supernatural groundhog, haunting a cemetery. The story revolves around a man returning to the cemetery to confront the groundhog, who had a run-in with when he was twelve years old. I felt like this story needed a little more development, with the connection between the groundhog, the man, the boy, and the groundhog’s hole (and the cemetery) fleshed out more. It had a creepy ending though.
Watching by Carrie Vaughn: And here we deal with pigeons. A man proposes to his girlfriend after taking her to Venice . . . only to have her say no. This sets the man’s life onto a whole new track as he sets out to backpack across Europe, discovering pigeons the entire step of the way. Only the pigeons aren’t exactly what they seem. The first half of the story was interesting, and the character drew me in, but then the story takes a hard sharp turn (perhaps even a hair-pin turn) in the middle and becomes a completely different kind of story altogether. This wasn’t a bad thing and the ending itself makes you smile, in a sort of funny/gruesome kind of way.
The Things That Crawl by Richard Lee Byers: This story doesn’t single out one particular type of creature, it sort of deals with snakes, lizards, alligators, etc, in general. And this is the most well developed story in the anthology. I connected to the main character, a detective who has an alcohol problem, so has been demoted and has relocated to the coast of Florida where, after a hurricane passes through, discovers that the local wildlife isn’t behaving as usual. He picks up on this and puts the pieces together (he is a detective after all), but the conclusion is, of course, too supernatural for the average person to believe. He ends up being forced to deal with the situation himself. Again, a very well-written, cohesive story with a rounded plot, rounded character arc, and a beginning, middle, and end.
The White Bull of Tara by Fiona Patton: This is a story centered around the White Bull of Tara. It begins interestingly enough—fairy cows are breaking through from the fairy realm to munch on the Druids’ garden and a pack of siblings/guards are tasked to stop the incursion. They figure out who’s causing the problem, and why . . . and then the story just kind of dies. They don’t really do much to stop the incursion from the fairy side, but the cows stop coming. Instead, the White Bull’s rival comes through and has his way with the local herd. It just felt like the story fell apart to me, or skewed off in a different direction from the first two-thirds of the story, and so the ending didn’t feel right.
Dead Poets by John A. Pitts: I don’t think I understand this story at all. I REALLY, REALLY liked the idea introduced at the beginning: the main animal here is the shrike, a bird, which (I didn’t know this before reading the story) apparently captures its prey and impales it on thorns on hedges and such around its nest. A cool factoid in and of itself. When, in the course of the story, the main characters finds that the shrike pestering her garden has started impaling pixies as well as rodents and such, the story jumped into a whole new level of interest for me. I seriously thought this would be the coolest story in the anthology . . . but then it completely fell apart near the end. Great setup, great idea, great animal . . . but nothing is done with it in my opinion. It kind of just trails off.
Super Squirrel to the Rescue by P.R. Frost: This story was cute, as the title suggests, with only a little touch of “evil creature from the night” to it. In this case, the evil creatures were crows, a whole murder of them, tormenting a neighborhood. Every attempt by the people to eliminate them was ignored and ridiculed with cawing. It required a rather supernatural squirrel to come to the rescue!
Her Black Mood by Brenda Cooper: This time, the creature of the night was much darker, a black toad created by the main character who can paint wooden carved creatures to life. However, she’s in such a black mood due to her life that this toad, when she paints it alive, comes out rather evil, with teeth and a lust for blood. Brenda Cooper captures the black mood of the character perfectly (we’ve all felt like this at some point, I’m sure) and the toad comes across as evil indeed, but I felt the resolution of the story could have used a little more umph. It made sense (unlike some of the other stories in this anthology), but I felt that so much time was spent on creating the situation and background that there should have been a little more time spent on resolving it all. It took 10 pages for the setup and making the toad as evil as possible, but only 2 pages to resolve the entire situation. A little unbalanced, but definitely a good read.
Ninja Rats on Harleys by Elizabeth A. Vaughan: The title pretty much says it all. *grin* A fun little story with evil rats and possums, a heroic mouse, and two flatulent dogs. Oh, plus a few humans. An interesting and enjoyable read, with just the right amount of humor thrown into the danger. But again this story felt unfinished. Unlike some previous stories in the anthology though, this one felt complete in and of itself, but also felt like the start of something much bigger. At least, I felt like I could have flipped the page and started another chapter when I reached the end. A good story overall though. Definitely entertaining.
Bats in Thebayou by Steven H Silver: Alien bats, anyone? That’s the main creature in this story (plus mosquitoes). Earth has been invaded by alien bats . . . we just don’t know it yet. The story flips back and forth between an alien bat perspective and the human perspective of two campers in Thebayou. I’m not sure this was effective overall, since I was much more interested in the alien bat perspective and not interested at all in the human perspective. But again, the ending was unsatisfactory to me. And aside from the main creature being a bat, there wasn’t much in the way of “creature of the night” feeling to this story.
Twilight Animals by Nina Kiriki Hoffman: This story was well-written, with a main character who could at this point in his life be labeled a “loser.” He’s hired to watch over his brother’s house while his brother and family tour Europe for a month. Since this guy’s in college, he decides to do some research on the neighborhood, ostensibly for a paper for school. Of course, he begins seeing things during his studies that just aren’t natural, in this case, a peculiarly large possum population. The ending is also peculiarly reminiscent of another story in this anthology, which is kind of bizarre. But overall a good story.
The Ridges by Larry D. Sweazy: The last story is about foxes . . . sort of. I can’t say much about the storyline without ruining it, so I’ll just say that the storyline here was good and it didn’t end the way I thought it would as I read it. I had the right idea, in general, but the author twisted it around into something different than what I’d expected by the end. Not really a “creature of the night” story in true form, although it certainly fit the theme of the anthology
March 15, 2023
Oh, the anguish of unmet expectations. Little pains me more.
Just look at that cover. When combining Shitty Photoshop + Freeware Fonts + Lurid Text About Critters That Crave Human Flesh, I expect a rollicking collection of Z-grade, trashy terror tales. Zombie Raccoons & Killer Bunnies should be, like, a book where one can read about, say, undead roaches that devour the planet, or ghoulified lab apes that hump themselves into puddles of goo.
Lowbrow, deranged, ravenous animals are my jam, man.
So it totally blows that ZR&KB is nothing like I anticipated—or wanted—it to be.
—
Editors Martin H. Greenberg (RIP) and Kerrie Hughes immediately get the zombie raccoons out of the way with Jody Lynn Nye's "Death Mask".
Except that there's only one pissed-off procyonid.
And it's more of a ghost.
Reanimated by a druid.
For revenge.
Against a cruel bumpkin farmer.
The story's better than I make it sound, but it's a basic Tales From The Crypt-ish morality play (and, really, Pumpkinhead with a raccoon), and doesn't even come close to the cover's promise.
Immediately after comes the killer bunnies in Donald J. Bingle's (tries-too-hard-to-be-)comedic "BunRabs", which details chickens fretting about their ancestral floppy-eared enemies based on confusion over how Easter works. It starts off amusing, then wears out its welcome, then nosedives into confusing and stupid, in no small part because poultry are apparently Internet savvy.
Two tales in, and the editors have already vicariously blown the title's load...
...so of course there's thirteen more stories through which to slog. Ugh.
—
There's Anton Strout's "For Lizzy", about a magical bookwyrm run amok in an elite monster-fighting agency's archives framed by The Hackiest Romance Ever. The beastie is cool, though, and worth a conversion for your RPG of choice.
Tim Waggoner's (remember him from the hated Nekropolis?) "Bone Whispers" is eerie enough, with a Dead Man Walking and his groundhog nemesis. But it's got two (maybe three, if you're exacting) glaring typos that should have never made it to print. Poor dude can't catch a break with me.
The tale that makes the most of the cover's potential is "Watching", by Carrie Vaughn (of Kitty The Werewolf fame). It's simple but just plain freaky, and there's a whole Chill / Cryptworld campaign in its scant ten pages.
The best of the bunch is Alexander B. Potter's "Faith In Our Fathers", about a magic backwoods boy, parental love, and The Weasel God—not A, but The—who keeps eating the kiddo's pet cats. I totally want a full novel about the mysterious, melancholy, low-key protagonist and his chock-full-o-animal-deities world, but, again, the story lacks even a whiff of exploitation.
—
...Brae Diardin of the Ulaidh Fianna lifted her face to the breeze, breathing in the fresh scents of newly turned earth and blossoming fruit trees with a sleepy smile.
Finnbhennach was owned by Ailill, consort to Queen Medhbhan of Connacht, and raised with her own herd of royal cows.
Moifinn glared down at Bala as if the whelp had been responsible for the damage, and Isien moved forward before Brae could take offense at the unfair accusation and say something that they would all regret.
I don't even know where to start with Fiona Patton's gallingly terrible "The White Bull Of Tara". Not sure what I hate most about it: the infodump of random characters and places with names that require Google Gaelic to pronounce? That the plot involves cartoony druids (again?) and fairy bovines in a book with a cover that promises the exact opposite kind of tale? The way it reads like a my kid sister's twee 3rd-grade Trapper Keeper scribblings about her D&D character, Candace Charmstar?
Awful. Just awful.
—
There's a story about a pixie-killing shrike, and another about an immortal super-squirrel. One about a magical, murderous, amphibian pottery golem, and another (rather chaotic one) about biker-slash-ninja rodents that has to be a tie-in to a novel, which is annoying because there's little context about what the hell is going on.
All in all, they're pretty forgettable, which is a cardinal sin in an anthology.
I kinda-sorta liked the tales about alien swamp-bats and robo-possums, though. Quirky. Not in any way, shape, or form exciting or fun, but quirky.
—
The book ends with Larry D. Sweazy's "The Ridges", and the more I think about it, the more it pisses me off. It's overflowing with evocative atmosphere and reads pretty decently, but falls apart with just the slightest bit of critical brainpower.
See, our shut-in programmer Protagonist lives with his ailing father, and has a crush on his mysterious and secretive new neighbor who is The Most Beautiful Woman He's Ever Seen...
...and all three happen to be werefoxes, but Protagonist doesn't know it...
...nor does he know that his entire suburban subdivision is inhabited by tons of other werefoxes (which include his various extended family members)...
...and all these vulpine secrets explode when several surrounding households of lifelong neighbors reveal themselves to be werefox-murdering "slayers"...
...that all the other werefoxes knew about since forever, but didn't handle because of some kind of completely glossed-over-in-one-ludicrous-sentence balance of power or something...
...but then the werefoxes kill the slayers when the slayers attack...
...and then Protagonist porks Gorgeous Neighbor Lady because of course he does, and they make a litter of kits.
The end.
The only way the plot makes sense is if it's a Looney Tunes Ralph Wolf / Sam Sheepdog "on the clock / off the clock" joint.
Utterly horrendous. Still better than the Irish cows, though.
—
When all is said and done, ZR&KB is a shittily boring and boringly shitty anthology, and a tragic waste of both premise and reader goodwill.
Final Review Score: One-and-a-half Night Of The Lepus-es out of five.
Just look at that cover. When combining Shitty Photoshop + Freeware Fonts + Lurid Text About Critters That Crave Human Flesh, I expect a rollicking collection of Z-grade, trashy terror tales. Zombie Raccoons & Killer Bunnies should be, like, a book where one can read about, say, undead roaches that devour the planet, or ghoulified lab apes that hump themselves into puddles of goo.
Lowbrow, deranged, ravenous animals are my jam, man.
So it totally blows that ZR&KB is nothing like I anticipated—or wanted—it to be.
—
Editors Martin H. Greenberg (RIP) and Kerrie Hughes immediately get the zombie raccoons out of the way with Jody Lynn Nye's "Death Mask".
Except that there's only one pissed-off procyonid.
And it's more of a ghost.
Reanimated by a druid.
For revenge.
Against a cruel bumpkin farmer.
The story's better than I make it sound, but it's a basic Tales From The Crypt-ish morality play (and, really, Pumpkinhead with a raccoon), and doesn't even come close to the cover's promise.
Immediately after comes the killer bunnies in Donald J. Bingle's (tries-too-hard-to-be-)comedic "BunRabs", which details chickens fretting about their ancestral floppy-eared enemies based on confusion over how Easter works. It starts off amusing, then wears out its welcome, then nosedives into confusing and stupid, in no small part because poultry are apparently Internet savvy.
Two tales in, and the editors have already vicariously blown the title's load...
...so of course there's thirteen more stories through which to slog. Ugh.
—
There's Anton Strout's "For Lizzy", about a magical bookwyrm run amok in an elite monster-fighting agency's archives framed by The Hackiest Romance Ever. The beastie is cool, though, and worth a conversion for your RPG of choice.
Tim Waggoner's (remember him from the hated Nekropolis?) "Bone Whispers" is eerie enough, with a Dead Man Walking and his groundhog nemesis. But it's got two (maybe three, if you're exacting) glaring typos that should have never made it to print. Poor dude can't catch a break with me.
The tale that makes the most of the cover's potential is "Watching", by Carrie Vaughn (of Kitty The Werewolf fame). It's simple but just plain freaky, and there's a whole Chill / Cryptworld campaign in its scant ten pages.
The best of the bunch is Alexander B. Potter's "Faith In Our Fathers", about a magic backwoods boy, parental love, and The Weasel God—not A, but The—who keeps eating the kiddo's pet cats. I totally want a full novel about the mysterious, melancholy, low-key protagonist and his chock-full-o-animal-deities world, but, again, the story lacks even a whiff of exploitation.
—
...Brae Diardin of the Ulaidh Fianna lifted her face to the breeze, breathing in the fresh scents of newly turned earth and blossoming fruit trees with a sleepy smile.
Finnbhennach was owned by Ailill, consort to Queen Medhbhan of Connacht, and raised with her own herd of royal cows.
Moifinn glared down at Bala as if the whelp had been responsible for the damage, and Isien moved forward before Brae could take offense at the unfair accusation and say something that they would all regret.
I don't even know where to start with Fiona Patton's gallingly terrible "The White Bull Of Tara". Not sure what I hate most about it: the infodump of random characters and places with names that require Google Gaelic to pronounce? That the plot involves cartoony druids (again?) and fairy bovines in a book with a cover that promises the exact opposite kind of tale? The way it reads like a my kid sister's twee 3rd-grade Trapper Keeper scribblings about her D&D character, Candace Charmstar?
Awful. Just awful.
—
There's a story about a pixie-killing shrike, and another about an immortal super-squirrel. One about a magical, murderous, amphibian pottery golem, and another (rather chaotic one) about biker-slash-ninja rodents that has to be a tie-in to a novel, which is annoying because there's little context about what the hell is going on.
All in all, they're pretty forgettable, which is a cardinal sin in an anthology.
I kinda-sorta liked the tales about alien swamp-bats and robo-possums, though. Quirky. Not in any way, shape, or form exciting or fun, but quirky.
—
The book ends with Larry D. Sweazy's "The Ridges", and the more I think about it, the more it pisses me off. It's overflowing with evocative atmosphere and reads pretty decently, but falls apart with just the slightest bit of critical brainpower.
See, our shut-in programmer Protagonist lives with his ailing father, and has a crush on his mysterious and secretive new neighbor who is The Most Beautiful Woman He's Ever Seen...
...and all three happen to be werefoxes, but Protagonist doesn't know it...
...nor does he know that his entire suburban subdivision is inhabited by tons of other werefoxes (which include his various extended family members)...
...and all these vulpine secrets explode when several surrounding households of lifelong neighbors reveal themselves to be werefox-murdering "slayers"...
...that all the other werefoxes knew about since forever, but didn't handle because of some kind of completely glossed-over-in-one-ludicrous-sentence balance of power or something...
...but then the werefoxes kill the slayers when the slayers attack...
...and then Protagonist porks Gorgeous Neighbor Lady because of course he does, and they make a litter of kits.
The end.
The only way the plot makes sense is if it's a Looney Tunes Ralph Wolf / Sam Sheepdog "on the clock / off the clock" joint.
Utterly horrendous. Still better than the Irish cows, though.
—
When all is said and done, ZR&KB is a shittily boring and boringly shitty anthology, and a tragic waste of both premise and reader goodwill.
Final Review Score: One-and-a-half Night Of The Lepus-es out of five.
December 4, 2011
Fair warning:While I gave this collection an overall rating of ok(2 stars), I would rate 5 of the 15 stories as didn't like(1 star), another 5 as ok(2 stars), 4 as liked(3 stars)and only 1 as really liked(4 stars).
The 5 rated 1 star were Death Mask by Jody Lynn Nye(too green), BunRabs by Donald J.Bingle(too silly and annoying pidgeon language), Bone Whispers by Tim Waggoner(What???),Dead Poets by John A. Pitts(too stilted), and Super Squirrel to the Rescue by P.R.Frost.(really bad science and lacking in internal logic)
The 5 that got 2 stars were Faith in Our Fathers by Alexander B.Potter(felt more like story excerpt than whole story),The White Bull of Tara by Fiona Patton(again felt like something was missing, no real resolution to story), Her Black Mood by Brenda Cooper(too much after school special, Ninja Rats on Harleys by Elizabeth A.Vaughan(this was a story concept, where is the real story because I would like to read that),The Ridges by Larry D.Sweazy(too much descriptions and not enough story)
The 3 stars are for lizzie by Anton Strout(just a nice light romantic fantasy, Watching by Carrie Vaughn(good concept, unexpected), Bats in Thebayou by Steven H.Silver(good concept that could be expanded but is still a full story),and Twilight Animals by Nina Kiriki Hoffman(another good concept that could lead to more stories but tells a full story- but shouldn't they have been designed to be waterproof?).
The best story in the bunch got 4 stars. It was The Things that Crawl by Richard Lee Byers.It was a great origin story that could easily be the start of a series of short stories or novels.
The sad thing about this collection is that the ok stories could have easily been better but felt like the author just knocked something off to meet the deadline.This time I should have judged the book by its cover(bad photoshop job-just to get it done in time).Do not pay for this book. If you can borrow it, read the 3 and 4 stars and ignore the rest.
The 5 rated 1 star were Death Mask by Jody Lynn Nye(too green), BunRabs by Donald J.Bingle(too silly and annoying pidgeon language), Bone Whispers by Tim Waggoner(What???),Dead Poets by John A. Pitts(too stilted), and Super Squirrel to the Rescue by P.R.Frost.(really bad science and lacking in internal logic)
The 5 that got 2 stars were Faith in Our Fathers by Alexander B.Potter(felt more like story excerpt than whole story),The White Bull of Tara by Fiona Patton(again felt like something was missing, no real resolution to story), Her Black Mood by Brenda Cooper(too much after school special, Ninja Rats on Harleys by Elizabeth A.Vaughan(this was a story concept, where is the real story because I would like to read that),The Ridges by Larry D.Sweazy(too much descriptions and not enough story)
The 3 stars are for lizzie by Anton Strout(just a nice light romantic fantasy, Watching by Carrie Vaughn(good concept, unexpected), Bats in Thebayou by Steven H.Silver(good concept that could be expanded but is still a full story),and Twilight Animals by Nina Kiriki Hoffman(another good concept that could lead to more stories but tells a full story- but shouldn't they have been designed to be waterproof?).
The best story in the bunch got 4 stars. It was The Things that Crawl by Richard Lee Byers.It was a great origin story that could easily be the start of a series of short stories or novels.
The sad thing about this collection is that the ok stories could have easily been better but felt like the author just knocked something off to meet the deadline.This time I should have judged the book by its cover(bad photoshop job-just to get it done in time).Do not pay for this book. If you can borrow it, read the 3 and 4 stars and ignore the rest.
February 5, 2018
3.5 stars. A pretty dang solid grouping of stories. I really enjoyed most of them, and enjoyed all of them. Clever and a little creepy, great collection.
February 26, 2018
This book was a fun read, for the most part; a collection of short stories that all were at least kind of in the horror genre and at least kind of featured animals of one sort or another. All were at least reasonably well-written, some were very well written. I was somewhat annoyed by the one or two that were not really short stories but rather teaser/excerpts of short-story length from longer stories that the author clearly hoped to get the reader hooked on; that's really not a fair way to plug your writing, and if I was the editor, I would never have allowed those into the book no matter how potentially interesting they might be.
October 5, 2019
Fifteen stories with stories that contain varying degrees of ridiculousness and silliness. To me, most of the stories start off well but then fizzle out. My favorite story in the whole book was “For Lizzie” which is about a bookworm who turns into book dragon.
November 16, 2024
*3.5 stars*. Entertaining anthology of stories ranging across several genres (horror, magic, comedy, sci-fi). Like any short story collection, some stories were really good and others were okay but I was always interested. Fun & silly book.
Read
May 19, 2022Read this just because of the crazy title.
October 15, 2010
Zombie Raccoons & Killer Bunnies edited by Kerrie Hughes and Martin H. Greenberg
This is a crazy book and the purposefully amateurish cover drew the ire of a many when it came out. Those who hated the cover may have missed the point all together of this mostly comedic exploration on two hilarious ideas: zombie raccoons and killer bunnies. If you’re looking for some spooky fun during Halloween you’ll find a lot of entertainment here, from hilarious to scary. There’s fifteen stories and the authors cover a lot of different ground.
Death Mask by Jody Lynn Nye has written a tale about some nefarious raccoons and a tough old lady with a shotgun that you won’t soon forget. BunRabs by Donald J. Bingle is the funniest story in the book and I laughed out loud several times. For Lizzie by Anton Strout explores a couple of secondary characters from his well received Simon Canderous novels (Dead to Me, Dead Matter, Deader Still, & Dead Waters). Faith in Our Fathers by Alexander B. Potter is one of the best stories in the book and it really tugs at your heart. It has a resonance that any of us who have ever lost a pet can identify with, and is written with the grace of a master.
Bone Whispers by Tim Waggoner is a Stephen King-esque horror story that comes to life and will totally creep you out. Bone Whispers is one of those bizarre and well-written stories that makes you cringe. Watching by Carrie Vaughn is a tale about pigeons and mind control that will have you watching those damn flying rats out of the corner of your eye for some time.
The Things That Crawl by Richard Lee Byers is in my top three of the anthology. It’s one of those awesome stories that has it all, creepiness, a hurricane, great characterization, murder, and it’s an awesome story about the kind of serial killer you’ve never heard of before. Dead Poets by John A. Pitts is the most literary of the anthology and is written in an interesting point of view with a liberal dose of poetry. Her Black Mood by Brenda Cooper is an exploration of a unique fairy world by a neglected young girl.
Ninja Rats on Harleys by Elizabeth A. Vaughan is such an incredibly amusing story about a writer and her new friend, Wan, a very unique mouse who would be utterly bad-ass if he weren’t three inches tall. This is the continuation of Vaughan’s story about Wan from the anthology, Furry Fantastic and even if you haven’t read the first one, you’ll love this one. I mean, who doesn’t like ninja rats on Harleys?
Bats in thebayou (not a typo) by Steven H. Silver is one of the most interesting science fiction stories I’ve read a long time and one of the best stories in the book. It’s about a breed of aliens that look like bats. They’ve secretly invaded Earth and have come up with a scheme to harvest the most valuable thing on the planet, mosquitoes, without anyone knowing about it. Twilight Animals by the award-winning Nini Kiriki Hoffman is about a slacker who discovers a terrible secret about the possums infesting a suburban neighborhood where he’s house sitting. The final tale in the book titled, The Ridges by Larry D. Sweazy is a great story that will keep you guessing until the end.
Overall, Zombie Raccoons and Killer Bunnies was rollicking good time about creepy animals that infest the dark and often funny corners of our twisted imaginations. It’s a perfect collection of stories for Halloween time.
Paul Genesse
Author of The Dragon Hunters
This is a crazy book and the purposefully amateurish cover drew the ire of a many when it came out. Those who hated the cover may have missed the point all together of this mostly comedic exploration on two hilarious ideas: zombie raccoons and killer bunnies. If you’re looking for some spooky fun during Halloween you’ll find a lot of entertainment here, from hilarious to scary. There’s fifteen stories and the authors cover a lot of different ground.
Death Mask by Jody Lynn Nye has written a tale about some nefarious raccoons and a tough old lady with a shotgun that you won’t soon forget. BunRabs by Donald J. Bingle is the funniest story in the book and I laughed out loud several times. For Lizzie by Anton Strout explores a couple of secondary characters from his well received Simon Canderous novels (Dead to Me, Dead Matter, Deader Still, & Dead Waters). Faith in Our Fathers by Alexander B. Potter is one of the best stories in the book and it really tugs at your heart. It has a resonance that any of us who have ever lost a pet can identify with, and is written with the grace of a master.
Bone Whispers by Tim Waggoner is a Stephen King-esque horror story that comes to life and will totally creep you out. Bone Whispers is one of those bizarre and well-written stories that makes you cringe. Watching by Carrie Vaughn is a tale about pigeons and mind control that will have you watching those damn flying rats out of the corner of your eye for some time.
The Things That Crawl by Richard Lee Byers is in my top three of the anthology. It’s one of those awesome stories that has it all, creepiness, a hurricane, great characterization, murder, and it’s an awesome story about the kind of serial killer you’ve never heard of before. Dead Poets by John A. Pitts is the most literary of the anthology and is written in an interesting point of view with a liberal dose of poetry. Her Black Mood by Brenda Cooper is an exploration of a unique fairy world by a neglected young girl.
Ninja Rats on Harleys by Elizabeth A. Vaughan is such an incredibly amusing story about a writer and her new friend, Wan, a very unique mouse who would be utterly bad-ass if he weren’t three inches tall. This is the continuation of Vaughan’s story about Wan from the anthology, Furry Fantastic and even if you haven’t read the first one, you’ll love this one. I mean, who doesn’t like ninja rats on Harleys?
Bats in thebayou (not a typo) by Steven H. Silver is one of the most interesting science fiction stories I’ve read a long time and one of the best stories in the book. It’s about a breed of aliens that look like bats. They’ve secretly invaded Earth and have come up with a scheme to harvest the most valuable thing on the planet, mosquitoes, without anyone knowing about it. Twilight Animals by the award-winning Nini Kiriki Hoffman is about a slacker who discovers a terrible secret about the possums infesting a suburban neighborhood where he’s house sitting. The final tale in the book titled, The Ridges by Larry D. Sweazy is a great story that will keep you guessing until the end.
Overall, Zombie Raccoons and Killer Bunnies was rollicking good time about creepy animals that infest the dark and often funny corners of our twisted imaginations. It’s a perfect collection of stories for Halloween time.
Paul Genesse
Author of The Dragon Hunters
December 29, 2022
Originally posted on the book blog Creature From the Book Lagoon.
*Trigger Warning: Animal death and cruelty
Wow. Just…. wow. This book has been on my TBR list since 2009. And it was just AWFUL!!! D; What a disappointment…
I don’t even want to spend much time talking about this trainwreck of disappointment. Easily one of the worst anthologies I’ve ever read. WOW. 😐 Not good.
Not much is really memorable :/ The stories are mostly MID. A few are just… awful!! The only story I rated a 5 of 5 is The Things that Crawled by Richard Lee Byers, a Lovecraft-ish Florida reptile tail (hehe) of horror. It was very good! I WISH I could say that about more of the stories. D: Yowie Wowie.
What was wrong with this book?? Well, the over all common flaw is that the stories all tend to be vague AF with ultra anti-climatic endings!! My notes on each story reads in an extremely simular manner of ” Well. It’s ok… but lacking depth and details. MEH.” D: That’s not good.
So disappointed. 😦 Look at that epic cover?? The idea of an anthology of killer critters is awesome!! This was such a let down. Sorry the review is so short…. I just have no words for this book. I’m just gonna stop thinking about this book now. Hell, I might even just get rid of this book all together!! D:
*Trigger Warning: Animal death and cruelty
Wow. Just…. wow. This book has been on my TBR list since 2009. And it was just AWFUL!!! D; What a disappointment…
I don’t even want to spend much time talking about this trainwreck of disappointment. Easily one of the worst anthologies I’ve ever read. WOW. 😐 Not good.
Not much is really memorable :/ The stories are mostly MID. A few are just… awful!! The only story I rated a 5 of 5 is The Things that Crawled by Richard Lee Byers, a Lovecraft-ish Florida reptile tail (hehe) of horror. It was very good! I WISH I could say that about more of the stories. D: Yowie Wowie.
What was wrong with this book?? Well, the over all common flaw is that the stories all tend to be vague AF with ultra anti-climatic endings!! My notes on each story reads in an extremely simular manner of ” Well. It’s ok… but lacking depth and details. MEH.” D: That’s not good.
So disappointed. 😦 Look at that epic cover?? The idea of an anthology of killer critters is awesome!! This was such a let down. Sorry the review is so short…. I just have no words for this book. I’m just gonna stop thinking about this book now. Hell, I might even just get rid of this book all together!! D:
July 27, 2012
I'm not sure what should be expected from a book with a cover like this, even if it is supposed to be full of camp. Zombie Raccoons & Killer Bunnies is a collection of 15 tales of supernatural animals, from, um, zombie raccoons to killer bunnies and alien bats. Unfortunately most of the stories end up in the disappointing category. A handful suffer from a combination of humorous premise, but a lack of humor within the story that makes them come off as kitschy. Another handful start really great but end very abruptly, sometimes 6-7 pages of great story suddenly wrapped up in half a page. And more aren't really full, fleshy stories, but instead are characters arguing about something or simply witnessing something.
The only solid story in the bunch is ″Things That Crawl″ by Richard Lee Byers. Hats off to Tim Waggoner's ″Bone Whispers″, ″Faith in Our Fathers″ by Alexander B. Potter and ″Her Black Mood″ by Brenda Cooper which were good reads, but seemed like they'd have been in a better fit in a darker, more serious collection of tales. Unless you just have to have this for fun's sake, there are better anthologies out there.
Contains: language, violence
The only solid story in the bunch is ″Things That Crawl″ by Richard Lee Byers. Hats off to Tim Waggoner's ″Bone Whispers″, ″Faith in Our Fathers″ by Alexander B. Potter and ″Her Black Mood″ by Brenda Cooper which were good reads, but seemed like they'd have been in a better fit in a darker, more serious collection of tales. Unless you just have to have this for fun's sake, there are better anthologies out there.
Contains: language, violence
June 6, 2010
Again a book that I just had to get if only because of the cover and title. The good thing about anthologies in my opinion is that there is always bound to be a couple of stories that you will like and it gives you a chance to test drive some new writers so to speak. This book is no exception to this rule: All in all there were 10 stories that I liked if not loved and just 5 that couldn't grab my attention. I will certainly check out other works of some of the authors.
My favourite stories from this book:
'Death Mask' by Jody Lynn Nye - A tale about why you should treat raccoons with respect
'Bone Whispers' by Tim Waggoner - A very sad, but also beautiful story featuring a giant groundhog
'Ninja Rats on Harleys' by Elizabeth A. Vaughan - The title of this story says it all!!
My favourite stories from this book:
'Death Mask' by Jody Lynn Nye - A tale about why you should treat raccoons with respect
'Bone Whispers' by Tim Waggoner - A very sad, but also beautiful story featuring a giant groundhog
'Ninja Rats on Harleys' by Elizabeth A. Vaughan - The title of this story says it all!!
November 14, 2016
"Zombie Raccoons & Killer Bunnies," edited by Martin H. Greenberg and Kerrie Hughes, is a 2009 anthology of original stories dealing with animals in various configurations from hilarious to poignant. “Bunrabs,” by Donald J. Bingle, details how a group of chickens manage to fend off ravenous, blood-thirsty rabbits; “Watching,” by Carrie Vaughn, explains that pigeons might really be spying on you after all; we’ve also got Ninja Rats on Harleys (Elizabeth A. Vaughan), Bats in Thebayou (Steven H. Silver) and my personal favourite, were-foxes (“The Ridges,” by Larry D. Sweazy). Quite a fun little collection of stories, featuring a number of writers with whom I was unfamiliar; it’s always nice to discover a new writer!
April 24, 2013
I'm a hoarder, I very frequently buy books on a whim with no real intention of reading some of them anytime soon and they sit on shelves or in boxes for years sometimes until I feel guilty and read them. I thought this might be kitschy but it is as bad as it looks, I like horror stories about animals getting their revenge but this is a very amateurish assortment. The first story is good, the second okay but they got worse and worse until I could read no further. Maybe Im just growing up?!
December 29, 2012
...and Foxy neighbors, super squirrels and throw in some Ninja rats on Harleys. This anthology has everything from fantasy to horror. All the stories are well written and no matter what genre you prefer, you'll find something in here to your liking. I recommend this as a 'purse' book. Something to read while you are at the doctor's office or while that kid is kicking the seat behind you on a short flight. (Please do not use book to smack said child)
March 12, 2013
As with any story collection, the mileage varies depending upon the story. I enjoyed the last half of the collection more than the first half. My favorite tales were "Twilight Animals" and "Ninja Rats on Harleys" with "The White Bull of Tara" and "The Ridges" bring in up a close three and four. Enjoy at your own risk.
April 2, 2010
Stories I enjoyed in this collection:
- Death Mask
- BunRabs
- Watching
- The White Bull of Tara
- Super Squirrel To The Rescue
- Her Black Mood
- Ninja Rats On Harleys
- Twilight Animals
- The Ridges
- Death Mask
- BunRabs
- Watching
- The White Bull of Tara
- Super Squirrel To The Rescue
- Her Black Mood
- Ninja Rats On Harleys
- Twilight Animals
- The Ridges
August 27, 2010
This is a good, solid anthology for its type of themed anthology. It's about animals in just about every form imaginable. (Don't want to give too much away) There are no bad stories in it and some of them are quite good. It does make you wonder if it's safe in the forest or even in your backyard...
October 25, 2011
I loved some of the stories in this collection and others were OK. I read Death Mask to some of the boys at Scout camp because of the prevalence of raccoons. Bunrabs was a fun read that made me laugh. I also enjoyed Watching, The Things That Crawl, Dead Poets, and Ninja Rats on Harleys.
Read
August 28, 2012Yeah, the cover is cheesy, but I think you'll still like my story, "BunRabs."
February 1, 2011
got lots of comments as I read these stories.
I, of course, got the book for the NKH story. I also laughed myself silly when I read "Bun Rabs".
I, of course, got the book for the NKH story. I also laughed myself silly when I read "Bun Rabs".
February 6, 2011
Some off-kilter critter stories. Several felt like continuations or side stories to larger series (The Ninja Rats story is in fact a sequel from Furry Fantastic).
September 26, 2011
A mix of 15 stories with non-humans as parts of the story. some horror, some humor, some sci-fi. Some also much better than others.
November 5, 2011
This should be considered a fantasy anthology as there wasn't much horror to it. Still, most of the stories were fun and enjoyable with only a couple of duds.
June 9, 2015
Cool premise, but several of the stories were not that good. Would love to see a sequel with more polished works.
July 24, 2011
There are a few good stories among here, but not very good overall.
April 30, 2017
Good mix of veteran and relatively new authors, and a wonderful blend of funny and scary stories.
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