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Discworld #34.5

Where's My Cow?

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This is a book about reading a book,
which turns into a different book.
But it all ends happily!

28 pages, Hardcover

First published September 27, 2005

20 people are currently reading
12104 people want to read

About the author

Terry Pratchett

573 books46.1k followers
Sir Terence David John Pratchett was an English author, humorist, and satirist, best known for the Discworld series of 41 comic fantasy novels published between 1983–2015, and for the apocalyptic comedy novel Good Omens (1990), which he co-wrote with Neil Gaiman.
Pratchett's first novel, The Carpet People, was published in 1971. The first Discworld novel, The Colour of Magic, was published in 1983, after which Pratchett wrote an average of two books a year. The final Discworld novel, The Shepherd's Crown, was published in August 2015, five months after his death.
With more than 100 million books sold worldwide in 43 languages, Pratchett was the UK's best-selling author of the 1990s. He was appointed an Officer of the Order of the British Empire (OBE) in 1998 and was knighted for services to literature in the 2009 New Year Honours. In 2001 he won the annual Carnegie Medal for The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents, the first Discworld book marketed for children. He received the World Fantasy Award for Life Achievement in 2010.
In December 2007 Pratchett announced that he had been diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer's disease. He later made a substantial public donation to the Alzheimer's Research Trust (now Alzheimer's Research UK, ARUK), filmed three television programmes chronicling his experiences with the condition for the BBC, and became a patron of ARUK. Pratchett died on 12 March 2015, at the age of 66.

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5 stars
5,034 (44%)
4 stars
3,402 (30%)
3 stars
2,195 (19%)
2 stars
484 (4%)
1 star
111 (<1%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 413 reviews
Profile Image for Thibault Busschots.
Author 6 books206 followers
June 20, 2024
In the book Thud, Sam Vimes wanting to make it home on time every night to read his son a bedtime story was one of the highlights of the book. It is a bit of a stroke of genius of Pratchett to publish the actual book Sam reads to his son. And that’s pretty much the first half of this book, Sam Vimes reading the little children’s picture book “Where’s my Cow?” to his son. Tough halfway through the book, the concept cleverly evolves into Sam Vimes showing his son who some of the people are that live in his part of the Discworld, completely in line with the “Where’s my Cow?” concept. The art style of the pictures changing with the story is also a very clever move to highlight this transition even more.


Am I rating this cute and short little picture book too high? Maybe. But it’s impossible not to enjoy it if you enjoyed Thud. Though it is definitely preferable that you read Thud first.
Profile Image for [ J o ].
1,966 reviews551 followers
June 26, 2023
I was going to suggest that if you didn't like Discworld you wouldn't really appreciate this, but I think that's wrong. Of course, any Discworld fan will undoubtedly find anything with Sam Vimes in it impossible to resist; he's one of my personal favourites, though I tend to imagine him younger and better looking (we're all allowed our little perks).

It definitely wasn't what I was expecting, either. I was expecting a book wherein the cow was eventually found by whomsoever might have owned it, but it turns in to something much more magical and probably deeply philosophical, and very, very Vimes.
Profile Image for Lyn.
2,009 reviews17.6k followers
April 16, 2017
One of the most charming elements of Terry Pratchett’s 34th Discworld novel Thud! is Sam Vimes reading Where’s My Cow? to little Sam. The Lawful Good hero allows no excuses, every day at six he reads the book to his son, and provides all of the necessary sound effects.

Where’s My Cow? was published contemporaneously as a 32 page children’s books with illustrations about the Thud! prop. So it contains scenes and pages from the Discworld novel but it is also about Vimes reading the book to the child and taking some fun artistic license (just as he did in Thud! to Lady Sybil’s consternation).

For fans of Discworld, this is a must read and an enjoyably playful side of Pratchett’s magic making.

description
37 reviews2 followers
December 18, 2011
The finest literary work of our time, "Where's My Cow?" evokes emotions we didn't even know existed. From the moment the cow vanishes to the main character's tearful reunion with his son, the reader finds themself gripped and at the edge of their seat. I must have read this book a thousand times, every day at 5 PM sharp. It wouldn't do to miss it you see.

HRUUUUGH
Profile Image for Nataliya.
987 reviews16.1k followers
October 25, 2020
“The happy silence enveloped Vimes, but it couldn’t last. There was The Reading Of The Picture Book to be undertaken. That was the meaning of six o’clock.

It was the same book, every day. The pages of said book were rounded and soft where Young Sam had chewed them, but to one person in this nursery this was the book of books, the greatest story ever told. Vimes didn’t need to read it anymore. He knew it by heart.

It was called “Where’s My Cow?”

The un-identified complainant has lost their cow. That was the story, really.
[…]
Eventually, the cow would be found. It was that much of a page-turner. Of course, some suspense was lent by the fact that all other animals were presented in some way that could have confused a kitten who perhaps had been raised in a darkened room. The horse was standing in front of a hat stand, as they so often did, and the hippo was eating at a trough against which was an upturned pitchfork. Seen from the wrong direction, the tableau might look for just one second like a cow…

Young Sam loved it, anyway. It must have been the most cuddled book in the world.

Nevertheless, it bothered Vimes, even though he’d got really good at the noises and would go up against any man in his rendition of the HRUUUGH! But is this a book for a city kid? When would he ever hear these noises? In the city, the only sound those animals would make was “sizzle.” But the nursery was full of the conspiracy, with bah-lambs and teddy bears and fluffy ducklings everywhere he looked.

One evening, after a trying day, he’d tried the Vimes street version:

Where’s my daddy?
Is that my daddy?
He goes “Bugrit! Millennium hand and shrimp!”
He is Foul Ol’ Ron!
No, that’s not my daddy!

It had been going really well when Vimes heard a meaningful little cough from the doorway, wherein stood Sybil. Next day, Young Sam, with a child’s unerring instinct for this sort of thing, said “Buglit!” to Purity. And that, although Sybil never raised the subject even when they were alone, was that. From then on Sam stuck rigidly to the authorized version.”

— Terry Pratchett, Thud!
Profile Image for Huw Evans.
458 reviews34 followers
November 23, 2011
A work of existentialist realism that surpasses criticism. If there was one book I would have to have on a desert island, it is this one. Whilst superficially targeted at children, who will not see this as anything other than the hunt for a missing bovine, every adult should take time to ponder the metaphysical message imparted on each page. By what mechanism do we identify the things around us? What is the next stage of the deductive process if there is mismatch between auditory input and memory? In a few short pages (with exquisite illustrations which would make Michaleangelo weep with jealousy) Heisenberg can be certain, Zarathustra may remain silent and Proust can stay in bed. Had this book been available at the time, it would had deflected Harold's arrow, given Cleopatra the strength to resist the asp's venom, or made Shakespeare realise that there was no point in trying to compete with perfection.
Profile Image for Squiff Drake.
11 reviews
January 21, 2013
Mr Pratchett's childrens picture book, this book is mentioned in the Discworld series as it is read every night by one of the characters to his son. If you are familiar with Terry Pratchett's work you will find all expected wit and cleverness in this book. If you are familiar with books for small children you will almost certainly recognise the type of book that is gently sent up here. If like me you are a Pratchett fan with a small person you will probably enjoy this more than many of the books for little people you find yourself having to read over and over again as this achieves the holy grail of preschooler books, it entertains both the child and the adult reader. My son loves joining in with the animal noises while I can enjoy the story on a whole different level. Thank you Sir Terry!
Profile Image for Cheryl.
13k reviews483 followers
June 22, 2019
I don't think you need an understanding of the Discworld to enjoy this fable, but it does help. My adult son enjoyed it with only a very superficial sense of Pratchettian fantasy. The art is a true asset, gorgeous even when illustrating 'ugly' elements, and funny entirely on its own. Would have been a great gift for Father's Day.
Profile Image for Ramona Cantaragiu.
1,552 reviews29 followers
February 10, 2022
At first I was a bit put off by the illustrations (let's just say that in my mind Vimes is more like a blond Viking), but when it got to the parts where Vimes makes the funny sounds, they really worked (the facial expressions are to die for). If you are a fan of the Discworld, this is a must read for you.
Profile Image for Patricija.
599 reviews93 followers
June 8, 2019
It was fast and fun, but too short in my opinion.
Profile Image for Vergast.
11 reviews21 followers
April 9, 2009
This book was so good it makes me sad that i lost it.
Its suposta be a kiddies bedtime story but damn if i didnt enjoy it far to much.
perhaps thats one of the reasons i cant get anyone to go out with me?
Anyway.
This book has some beautiful illistrations.
I mean its really pretty. Its lovly and has a beautiful soft feeling that i do not see in the other babys books i have.
For instance someone would think a pink, red and white book would look soft and child friendly.
But it dosnt.
No my big french book for babys that i cant undertand a word for (which cover is actually quite soft even if the colours dont want you to think so) has nothing on this book.
Also there is a story.


What I learned from this book
...Where my cow was.
He isnt there anymore...
Profile Image for Kathleen.
1,957 reviews39 followers
June 16, 2015
An excellent companion to Thud!, and indeed the Discworld in general. The art in this picture book is somehow perfect for the realistic, goofy, fantastic aesthetic of the series. Theoretically this is a stand alone picture book, but I would recommend it most to people who have already enjoyed most of the Watch books.
Profile Image for Marta.
1,033 reviews124 followers
December 26, 2015
"Where's My Cow" is central to the plot of Thud - it must be read to young Sam every day at six o'clock sharp, because some things are just THAT important. Fun to see the most memorable characters of Ankh-Morpork depicted, as well as Vimes making faces. The message, however, is that if you lost your cow, you probably don't live in Ankh-Morpork, and that if you mistake a sheep for a cow, you do.
Profile Image for Gieliza.
371 reviews26 followers
July 14, 2016
5 stars!

Beyond cute! It started out like the typical kiddie books but quickly became something more. How very like Vimes to tell his young son that if he lost his cow it should be reported to the City Watch haha. The part at the end when Vimes said "I arrest you in the name of the law" got me a bit misty-eyed. Excellent stuff. Every Discworld fan will enjoy this.
Profile Image for Dylan Scott.
10 reviews
October 10, 2023
I don't know if children's books count, but I'm just adding it to my Pratchett collection
Profile Image for Deb Omnivorous Reader.
1,993 reviews178 followers
December 29, 2022
The cover says " A Discworld picture book for people of all ages"

And it is, a little bit more of adult people, who have read Thud! and know the story perhaps, but I don't doubt that a really small child would enjoy having it read to them too, especially if the reader 'does the noises'. Loved the artwork; This is not how I imagined Vimes, at all, but that scarcely matters because it is clearly how someone else imagined the Vimes I imagined.... If that makes any sense at all, in my head it does.

The realistic art work that is applied to real people like Vimes, Sybyl, Lord Ventenari and Foul Old Ron is intersperses with entirely imaginary, child's book fantasy artwork of flying books and udders (yes, that was not autocorrect; udders). It all works remarkably well.
508 reviews14 followers
January 10, 2009
This is really a book for the parents more than a book for the child. That being said there are plenty for farmyard noises for the child!

This book ties in with the adult Discworld novel Thud - which has a recurring element of the protagonist, Commander Sam Vines of the City Watch (ie the Police) reading Where's My Cow to his son, Young Sam, at 6 pm every evening. For this book to make much sense at all it would be very useful to have read Thud, or at the very least one or more of the City Watch Discworld novels (Guards Guards, Men At Arms, Feet of Clay, Jingo, The Fifth Elephant, The Truth, Night Watch, Monstrous Regiment, and of course Thud).

If you don't know that Foul Ole Ron says "Mellennium Hand and Shrimp" or that you shouldn't eat the sausages-inna-bun from Cut-Me-Own-Throat Dibbler then I wouldn't bother with this book. A quick test for this is to look at the award on the front cover - if you understand it then read the book, if you don't, don't. (The award is fake, a reference to The Librarian (of the Unseen University) who was turned into a orangutan in The Light Fantastic and has since refused to be turned back. He says Ook! and eats bananas.)

If however you are a fan of the Discworld series and you have a young person in your life, then I would highly recommend this book.

In this book Terry Pratchett
Profile Image for Mardel.
167 reviews7 followers
December 8, 2011
cover- I love this cover. The almost lifelike rendition of the cow and the painting like quality of the background...then that little cartoon image in the two corners...brilliant. And the stamp - approved by the librarian of Unseen University. If you've read the discworld books, you'll get it, but you haven't...see there's this series of books. In some of the books there's this University, the Unseen University. It's quite magical, because it houses not only all the wizards and sorcerers in Ankh-Morpork (or almost all of them) keeping them from harming the innocent - and giving them a place to practice their arts, but it also holds all the magical books. Some of the books have to be chained down, or they'll escape. In charge of the library at Unseen University is an orangutang. He's very capable - he actually used to be a human, but he's pretty happy as an orangutang, in charge of the library. Those prehensile feet and hands, with the thumbs and all, turned out to be very handy - after all....So - he approves this book.
OOK!
I approve this book also. LOL, doesn't that sound vain? I do though. I've wanted this book for a long time, since it ties in so nicely with the other discworld novels...it's great because it's really three books in one. You'll have to read it to understand what I'm saying...

Commander Vimes, a frequent character of the discworld novels is one of the characters in this book. He's reading a book to his son....and the book he's reading...you get to read that while reading about Vimes reading to his son...see? There's another aspect to this, but at the moment I can't really explain it.

So Commander Vimes is reading this book and he is making all these animal sounds, because it's a book called Where's My Cow? So the book within this book has all these animals and animal sounds and someone is obviously looking for his cow....Vimes is reading this, and making the noises for his son - which his son loves - when he suddenly decides the book is a bit lame, in fact that it has nothing to do with real life. After all they live in a huge city, where all the animals are...cooked.

So he begins changing the book while reading, to something HE can relate to. Criminals. He starts naming the usual suspects that he has to deal with on a daily basis...and they all have some quirk, great names, and the pics - oh man, the pics are great. These aren't your normal tame children's book pics - so beware of this if you plan to read it to your kids or grandkids. They will have to have a good sense of the absurd and humor.

I Loved This Book.

I read it to both of my grandkids, and they know it's Granma's SPECIAL BOOK that they have to have ME bring down for them, so we can read it together. And like Vimes, I love making the animal sounds, and I even try to make the rather gross usual Suspects's sounds. like Hrrumph, etc. The kids laugh and laugh. I laugh and laugh. A good time is had by all. Grandma loves these type of childrens books.

Twisted, snarky, edgy slightly off children's books.
Profile Image for Julie.
2,563 reviews34 followers
August 11, 2015
I read this book out loud in a full cast of accents to my dog. It's great! I would describe it as a parody of the sometimes innocuous books out there for youngsters. While I do enjoy children's books about farmyard animals, I did appreciate the point the author made that the farmyard is not the typical experience of the majority of children. After expressing a desire to teach his son about the actual environment he will grow up in, the father adapts the text to his own experience. This brings a new life and energy to the book and results in a deeper connection between father and son. Reading with children is one of my life's greatest pleasures. Children give the best feed-back, and opportunities for learning, however, dogs are good to read to also :)
46 reviews2 followers
October 24, 2016
Právě jsem dočetla Kdepak je má kravička? Bylo to... no... nechci vám spoilerovat, tak jen řeknu, že tam hledali krávu a rozhodně si to musíte přečíst!
Profile Image for Rob Pearce.
1 review1 follower
November 16, 2016
Thoroughly enjoyed this book. Wish I could read it to the kids as a bed time story....they are a bit old for that now though
Profile Image for Shreyas.
687 reviews23 followers
March 9, 2023
"Where's My Cow?" (City Watch #7.5; Discworld #34.5) by Terry Pratchett.
[Illustrated by Melvyn Grant]




It was the same book, every day. The pages of the said book were rounded and soft where Young Sam had chewed them, but to one person in this nursery this was the book of books, the greatest story ever told. Vimes didn't need to read it anymore. He knew it by heart.
It was called Where's My Cow?




Rating: 4.0/5.



Review:
Every day, Commander Sam Vimes of the City Watch, must reach home at six o'clock sharp to read to Young Sam his favorite picture book – "Where's My Cow?". It's a daily appointment Vimes dare not be late for.

If you have read 'Thud!', the penultimate book of the City Watch arc, you may have already known the contents of the original story. This book is a fun take on the same. We do get the original story, and on top of it, we get the full Sam Vimes version of "Where's My Daddy?" - the version we only get a fleeting glimpse of in 'Thud!'. The illustrations add another layer to the short book about reading a book to a young one. It took me a while to get used to it, but Vimes' expressions and Young Sam's reactions made this story cute and heartwarming. Keeping the actual book's cover similar to the in-world book's cover was a hilarious move as well.

This book is not a must-read when it comes to catching up on the City Watch stories, but if you are a fan of all things Sam Vimes, then you won't regret reading it. Don't expect much out of it though – it's merely a book about reading a book.
Profile Image for Julicke.
349 reviews4 followers
April 14, 2023
Did I just buy a book for 4-year olds just because Sam Vimes is in it? Of course I did. And it's so wholesome I love it.
Profile Image for Priya.
276 reviews6 followers
October 12, 2020
Should have done this as an audio book, it would have been even more entertaining and fun!
Profile Image for BellaGBear.
675 reviews51 followers
July 27, 2020
Cute childrens book. Especially suitable for Pratchett fans.
Profile Image for Tanya.
583 reviews332 followers
November 11, 2024
One of the major plot-points in Thud! is Commander Sam Vimes reading a picture book to his son at 6 o'clock sharp: Every day, the same much-chewed book, no excuses.

"No excuses. No excuses at all. Once you had a good excuse, you opened the door to bad excuses." —Thud!


I expected this tie-in picture book to be... well, the prop from the novel made real, and to be about a poor bugger who is desperately seeking his lost bovine; the book of books and greatest story ever told, according to Young Sam. Instead, Pratchett went meta, and this is a book about the reading of a book; the charming expansion of a brief scene from the novel, featuring Vimes straying from the original version and taking certain narrative liberties.

"And Sam Vimes thought: Why is Young Sam's nursery full of farmyard animals anyway? Why are his books full of moo-cows and baa-lambs? He is growing up in the city. He will only see them on a plate! They go sizzle!
Profile Image for Gail Gauthier.
Author 15 books16 followers
May 31, 2015
"I had a chance to read Where's My Cow? by the late, great Terry Pratchett recently. I ordered this book, and it arrived encased in plastic. Since I purchased it as a gift, I didn't open it. So my first reading was a bit of a surprise.

I thought it was the book Sam Vimes, head of the nightwatch of Ankh-Morpork, runs home from work each evening to read to his son. What Where's My Cow? is really about is Sam Vimes reading Where's My Cow? to his son. It is more than I expected.

Sam Vimes may be my favorite Discworld character. He's essentially a cop, and I understand cop stories pretty much wherever they're set. Because he is a superior character, he recognizes an interesting point about animal picture books. And he fixes it."

Excerpt from Original Content
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