Packaging Boyhood: Saving Our Sons from Superheroes, Slackers, and Other Media Stereotypes

by Sharon Lamb, Lyn Mikel Brown, Mark Tappan

Player. Jock. Slacker. Competitor. Superhero. Goofball. Boys are besieged by images in the media that encourage slacking over studying; competition over teamwork; power over empower - ment; and being cool over being yourself. From cartoons to video games, boys are bombarded with stereotypes about what it means to be a boy, including messages about violence, risktaking, and perfecting an image of just not caring.
Straight from the mouths of over 600 boys surveyed from across the U.S., the authors offer parents a long, hard look at what boys are watch ing, reading, hearing, and doing. They give parents advice on how to talk with their sons about these troubling images and provide them with tools to help their sons resist these mes sages and be their unique selves.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction

320 pages, Hardcover

First published October 13, 2009

Reviews

[Michelle Wheeler · Rating 3 out of 5]

As a media literacy advocate, I love the practicality of this book. Though it retains a whiff of academia, it's still accessible enough for the average reader. Though there will, of course, be specific examples given where readers may or may not agree with the authors' assessment, the real value of a book like this is in its thought-provoking nature. Whether you buy into a specific example, you will hopefully walk away with your critical thinking skills a little more finely tuned, and your powers of observation on high alert.

[Scott Kennedy · Rating 3 out of 5]

A colleague who raved about this book passed this book onto me.

It was an interesting book, that highlighted an obvious point: the media / world around is selling our sons stereotypes of masculinity in their clothing, TV shows, books, music and entertainment and activities. No great shock there. The authors highlight a few of the typical stereotypes such as the superhero (guys are winners (often sporty / athletic who do great feats on their own) and the slacker (guys who can't live up to the superhero stereotype can be the jocular / immature lazy guy who doesn't try).

The good: I like the way this book traced the media messages that are foisted upon our boys. As a teacher, my eyes were opened to a another possible reason our boys are falling behind our girls. Intelligent and diligent young males are not presented all that often in the media, and if they are, they are often portrayed negatively because they are 'girly'. I also had my eyes opened to the danger of having so many movies for boys about male heroes who achieve greatness on their own - always winning. Where are the ordinary boys? Where are the countless 'losers' that there have to be for there to be one winner. I'm thankful that my son is able to learn at home rather than go to school, and that he has not yet been subjected to the idea that drawing and writing are not 'masculine'. We need to fight against the stereotypical portrayal of men as slackers who aren't interested in being smart or achieving in intellectual pursuits.

An interesting study the authors quoted as being published in Archives of Pediatric and Adolescent Medicine' found that teens exposed to sexually degrading lyrics were almost twice as likely to start engaging in intercourse or other sexual activities within the following two years as were teens who listened to little or no sexually degrading music.

The bad: The solutions to the issues presented seemed to me lacking in teeth. Why must you accept your teenager listening to gangsta rap? In what world should it be acceptable to listen to music that denigrates women as chattels and sex objects? Why can't a parent say, "You are not listening to / watching that, and here's why?" It seemed to me that the authors had a 'They're going to get into this stuff anyway, so may as well watch it with them and talk about it attitude.' While I think it is commendable to talk to our children about unhelpful media stereotypes, I think there also is an authority role that parents must take up, and we should be the gatekeepers for any influences that come into our homes.

Another aspect I questioned is whether the authors overplayed the role of media in stereotypical masculinity. I think that males and females are different by definition. The marketers may play on this in their marketing, but I'm not sure they alone cause the stereotypes.

Finally a few silly things were said. The authors lamented the lack of black lead characters in fiction. Fair enough. But they describe this lack of lead characters as 'just wrong'. It's not wrong, (who do you blame!!) it's unfortunate, and hopefully someone smart will see there is a great gap in the market! Another silly comment they made is about the 'stereotypical treatment of girls in novels. They were frustrated that a girl in one famous series is praised for her wonderful baked pies. In this day and age, this is hardly stereotypical treatment of a girl. Besides, can't a girl like baking pies?

[S · Rating 3 out of 5]

The case here was harder, I think for the authors to make. It is easily summarized. Boys are pressured to be best, to win, and to be powerful whether this particularly interests them or not.

They lost me when they complained about Guitar Hero, but they caught me again when they brought up the issue of homophobia.

It's possible that girls are accused of homosexuality when they refuse to conform, but largely I think we are more often accused of being "mannish." Ultimately, that's not so bad because what could be better than being a dude, amirite?

But the authors wouls have me believe that boys live constantly under the threat of homosexuality and, what's more, that's a fate worse than death. This is appalling for several reasons. Little boys are learning that it's bad to be gay. This then causes them to deny their true interests to avoid the appearance of homosexuality regardless of their actual sexuality. A girl can't play a trumpet because it's not ladylike to do so, but a boy can't play a flute because that's gaaaaaay. And will get him beaten up.

We live in a pretty stupid world, you guys.

I don't know if this book helped me. I did just buy my son a little shirt covered in cars and traffic signs, though in my defence, the pickings were slim and he can't go nekkid. It would have to be a cold day in August before I'd buy a shirt that said "NUMBER ONE AT SPORT SPORTING AND BREAKING THINGS," but I think I felt that way before I read this book. (I also bought fuzzy blue overalls with a ducky on them! It has a flappy wing!)

[Jennifer · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'd just say this book was "ok" for me. It made several good points that I'd absolutely agree with (the problem with stereotypes and how they are taught to boys--the slacker, the player, etc.; the problem with media and video games, etc.)

But I felt like there were some things missing here. 1) The book offered a lot of problems, but few solutions. Minor example: Stereotypical baby clothes--trucks, bugs, sports, "tough guy," etc.--were pounced upon. But what would the author like to see instead?

2) I felt like the author is trying to make boys and girls far too homogeneous. Boys and girls ARE different. And while stereotypes certainly aren't helpful, I think ignoring the differences in boys and girls (physically, emotionally, etc.) can be harmful as well.

[Carol Mann Agency]

Player. Jock. Slacker. Competitor. Superhero. Goofball. Boys are besieged by images in the media that encourage slacking over studying; competition over teamwork; power over empower - ment; and being cool over being yourself. From cartoons to video games, boys are bombarded with stereotypes about what it means to be a boy, including messages about violence, risktaking, and perfecting an image of just not caring.
Straight from the mouths of over 600 boys surveyed from across the U.S., the authors offer parents a long, hard look at what boys are watch ing, reading, hearing, and doing. They give parents advice on how to talk with their sons about these troubling images and provide them with tools to help their sons resist these mes sages and be their unique selves.

[Sarah · Rating 3 out of 5]

I would give this another half-star, but I didn't enjoy this as much as
"Packaging Girlhood." I think both books are very important for parents to read. In general, our society needs to work much harder on media literacy so that our children grow up informed and able to recognize the stereotypes that are being sold to them. At the same time, I know I always say that when I have kids I'll be different, I'll encourage all of their interests. But who knows if I'll actually be able to do so. It's a lot of work to fight the media at every turn, especially in today's excessively wired world. Regardless, this was interesting and relevant (though of course some references are out of date).

[Brittney · Rating 2 out of 5]

Admittedly, I only read the introduction, most of the first chapter, and the last chapter. It quickly became apparent that most of the book was merely a litany of things I'm already aware of: most little boys' clothing is covered in trucks and footballs; much rap music is misogynistic. The answers to my real question - what do I /do/ about it? - are brief and buried near the back. I had high hopes for this book based on Peggy Orenstein's recommendation, but its actual usefulness turned out to be incredibly limited.

[Beth · Rating 2 out of 5]

I couldn't get through all of this, but I read about half the chapters. The writing isn't the best and for the most part the arguments are nothing new. I usually find books about commercialism and children interesting but in this case I just couldn't muster the indignation the authors were aiming for.

[Anne · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting
Had to read a chapter at a time because it was dense and thought provoking.
Somehow, the girl version felt more readable. Why?

Does not resonate with me because of James' temperament?
Girl version did because of who Abby and Carrie are?

Could be helpful to parents..good to have in parenting library, especially if one's son is a traditionally minded boy.

[Tracy · Rating 2 out of 5]

I decided not to finish this one. While I was quite intrigued by the concepts, it was a little too detail-heavy for me. I feel like I got a lot of the point early on, and I also was beginning to wonder what in the world was okay for my boys to have anything to do with. Maybe I wasn't patient enough.

[Sue · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting look at what boys wear, watch, read and play/do. The chapter on boys and reading is pertinent and might be a good read for librarian groups. Some of the ideas are repetitive throughout the book. Good lists at end of reading section divided by age group.

[Alisha · Rating 5 out of 5]

It comes from the same authors of gritty Packaging Girlhood only THIS time we see what it is like for the oppsite sex-boys.
Boys are sold that they have to be manly to be "a real man".
LOVE this.

[R. C. · Rating 3 out of 5]

I found myself questioning many of their conclusions. My coparent and I have five boys. None of them have been sucked into these stereotypes. Perhaps we have been lucky.

[Rita]

listed by Ms. fall 2009 as a good book for adults, along with

Packaging firlhood,
by Lamb and Brown.

[Robert Marsh · Rating 1 out of 5]

Something deplorable and wrong-headed on every page. Sometimes in every sentence. Reminds me of Fredric Wertham.

[Nadine · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really good reflexion on how the media affects or sons and practical advice on how to deal with it.
Mostly though: don't try to ban anything, show others stuff and talk about it.