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A Dark Force: 20 Years with a Covert Narcissist
Celebrated music maven Erin Riley looked like she had it a 1960s Mad Men–style upbringing on Manhattan’s Upper West Side, then an escape to “find herself” in glamorous 1970s Hollywood, where she landed some of the most influential positions of the 1980s music industry. She hung out with rock stars like Keith Richards, Steven Tyler, James Taylor, and Jon Bon Jovi and chose the hit records for America’s #1 rock & roll radio station, WMMR-FM. But her colorful, raucous, rock & roll life hid dark secrets.
An emotionally neglected child with a generational legacy of stoicism and hiding painful truths, Erin had no real experience with love and healthy relationships. The marriage she thought would be her happily-ever-after led to 20 years of confusion, heartbreak, anger, and betrayal, all fueled by a malignant covert narcissist.
Erin’s honest, searing memoir recounts her self-discovery journey through a series of life’s traumas and tragedies, her many bad decisions, and two toxic marriages. Her story will bring insight and guidance to survivors of narcissistic abuse and those questioning their relationships, and the hope that they, like Erin, can find a joyous rock & roll redemption.
An emotionally neglected child with a generational legacy of stoicism and hiding painful truths, Erin had no real experience with love and healthy relationships. The marriage she thought would be her happily-ever-after led to 20 years of confusion, heartbreak, anger, and betrayal, all fueled by a malignant covert narcissist.
Erin’s honest, searing memoir recounts her self-discovery journey through a series of life’s traumas and tragedies, her many bad decisions, and two toxic marriages. Her story will bring insight and guidance to survivors of narcissistic abuse and those questioning their relationships, and the hope that they, like Erin, can find a joyous rock & roll redemption.
- GenresNonfictionMemoir
258 pages, Kindle Edition
Published December 6, 2022
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Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews
December 18, 2022
Wow. Just wow
This book was incredible. Her stories not only resonated but opened my eyes to feelings and suspicions I held but could not pinpoint. This book is life changing. Soul healing and universally connective in healing energy for all of us who know the toxic reality of having lived with, loved, known, or married a covert narc. Which I wholeheartedly agree can be nothing more than a demonic dark force! Thanks so much for sharing your story. Helping me realize that my gut is always right and my desire to try and work things out will only lead to wasted effort and time on someone who is truly not worth it. I love you so much for being this vulnerable, and you have impacted my life more than you will ever know. I am extremely grateful to you. 🙏🏽 💜
This book was incredible. Her stories not only resonated but opened my eyes to feelings and suspicions I held but could not pinpoint. This book is life changing. Soul healing and universally connective in healing energy for all of us who know the toxic reality of having lived with, loved, known, or married a covert narc. Which I wholeheartedly agree can be nothing more than a demonic dark force! Thanks so much for sharing your story. Helping me realize that my gut is always right and my desire to try and work things out will only lead to wasted effort and time on someone who is truly not worth it. I love you so much for being this vulnerable, and you have impacted my life more than you will ever know. I am extremely grateful to you. 🙏🏽 💜
May 1, 2023
wow! amazing book!
I feel like I was reading a lot of my own experiences. Erin was real and transparent in sharing her story of what it was like to be married to a covert narcissist. Great book!
I feel like I was reading a lot of my own experiences. Erin was real and transparent in sharing her story of what it was like to be married to a covert narcissist. Great book!
July 24, 2023
Ms Riley's book was fascinating! Her insights and explanations of the covert narcissistic personality are enlightening, and her story was told with grace. Highly recommend.
April 16, 2024
An easy read about a hard dark truth. Riley’s “A Dark Force” shines the light on the tactics and techniques of covert narcissists and serves as a beacon of hope illuminating the path to self-love.
July 15, 2026
I picked this book up on a quiet Sunday afternoon and did not put it down until I had finished every single page. I want to be honest here because I think honesty is exactly what this book deserves. I came into it thinking it would be another memoir about a difficult relationship. I was not prepared for what it actually did to me.
Erin Riley's life reads like something out of a film. Manhattan in the sixties, Hollywood in the seventies, and then a front row seat to the greatest music era America has ever seen. She chose the records for the number one rock and roll station in the country. She was in rooms with Keith Richards, Jon Bon Jovi, Steven Tyler, James Taylor. By every measure she had a life most people only dream about. And yet behind all of that, there was a quiet devastation happening that she could not name for years.
That is what made this book hit so differently for me. It was not the dramatic moments that broke my heart. It was the slow, creeping ones. The way Fabio would present himself as patient and kind to the outside world while systematically dismantling her sense of reality behind closed doors. The passive aggression. The blame shifting. The gaslighting that was so subtle she questioned herself for years before she could even begin to understand what was being done to her.
I have known someone like Fabio. I think most of us have, whether we have admitted it yet or not. And reading Erin's account felt like finally having language for something I had experienced but could never quite explain. She does not just tell her story. She teaches you. The clinical explanations woven throughout the narrative never feel cold or textbook. They feel like a friend finally sitting across from you and saying, yes, what happened to you had a name, and it was not your fault.
The chapter around the Panama betrayal was devastating. I had to set the book down for a few minutes. Not because it was badly written, but because it was so precisely and painfully true. That moment where the mask finally slips completely and you are left standing in the wreckage of something you gave two decades of your life to. Erin writes it with a restraint that somehow makes it more powerful than any dramatic retelling could.
I finished this book feeling something I did not expect to feel. Grateful. Grateful that she was brave enough to be this vulnerable, this specific, this honest. Grateful that she named the darkness for what it was. And genuinely hopeful, because the woman who walks out the other side of these pages is not broken. She is clear. She knows exactly who she is now and what she will never allow again.
This is not just a memoir. It is a mirror, a manual, and a permission slip all in one. If you have ever doubted your gut, questioned your own memory, or stayed somewhere far longer than you should have because you kept hoping things would change, read this book. You will not regret it.
Erin Riley's life reads like something out of a film. Manhattan in the sixties, Hollywood in the seventies, and then a front row seat to the greatest music era America has ever seen. She chose the records for the number one rock and roll station in the country. She was in rooms with Keith Richards, Jon Bon Jovi, Steven Tyler, James Taylor. By every measure she had a life most people only dream about. And yet behind all of that, there was a quiet devastation happening that she could not name for years.
That is what made this book hit so differently for me. It was not the dramatic moments that broke my heart. It was the slow, creeping ones. The way Fabio would present himself as patient and kind to the outside world while systematically dismantling her sense of reality behind closed doors. The passive aggression. The blame shifting. The gaslighting that was so subtle she questioned herself for years before she could even begin to understand what was being done to her.
I have known someone like Fabio. I think most of us have, whether we have admitted it yet or not. And reading Erin's account felt like finally having language for something I had experienced but could never quite explain. She does not just tell her story. She teaches you. The clinical explanations woven throughout the narrative never feel cold or textbook. They feel like a friend finally sitting across from you and saying, yes, what happened to you had a name, and it was not your fault.
The chapter around the Panama betrayal was devastating. I had to set the book down for a few minutes. Not because it was badly written, but because it was so precisely and painfully true. That moment where the mask finally slips completely and you are left standing in the wreckage of something you gave two decades of your life to. Erin writes it with a restraint that somehow makes it more powerful than any dramatic retelling could.
I finished this book feeling something I did not expect to feel. Grateful. Grateful that she was brave enough to be this vulnerable, this specific, this honest. Grateful that she named the darkness for what it was. And genuinely hopeful, because the woman who walks out the other side of these pages is not broken. She is clear. She knows exactly who she is now and what she will never allow again.
This is not just a memoir. It is a mirror, a manual, and a permission slip all in one. If you have ever doubted your gut, questioned your own memory, or stayed somewhere far longer than you should have because you kept hoping things would change, read this book. You will not regret it.
July 15, 2026
A friend recommended A Dark Force to me after I kept complaining about a situation I was going through and honestly I almost did not read it because I thought, another narcissist memoir, I have seen this before. I was so wrong.
First of all can we talk about Erin Riley's actual life before all the dark stuff? This woman was choosing hit records for America's number one rock and roll radio station. She was in the room with Keith Richards. Jon Bon Jovi. Steven Tyler. James Taylor. Like this is not a woman who lacked confidence or worldliness or intelligence. And that is exactly what made this book shake me to my core. Because if someone with that kind of life experience and that kind of exposure to the world could spend twenty years not fully understanding what was being done to her, then the rest of us never stood a chance against someone like Fabio.
And Fabio. I cannot even fully describe what reading about this man felt like. He is never loud. Never dramatic. Never the kind of villain you can point to and say, look, there it is, that is the problem. He is quiet. Helpful. Charming. The kind of person everyone outside the relationship adores. The damage he does is invisible from the outside and absolutely suffocating from the inside. Riley describes his tactics with such specificity that I found myself nodding along and then catching myself mid-nod because I was recognizing things I had experienced and never had words for.
The Panama moment. I cannot say too much without spoiling it but I will say that when I got there I had to physically put my phone down and just sit with it for a minute. That is the kind of writing that does not come from craft alone. It comes from someone who has genuinely processed their pain and decided to be completely honest about it on the page.
I also want to say that the way Riley explains the clinical side of covert narcissism throughout the book is genuinely one of the best things about it. She does not dump a psychology textbook on you. She weaves the explanations into the story so naturally that by the end you feel like you actually understand what covert narcissism is, why it works, why it is so hard to leave, and why so many people never fully recover from it without books exactly like this one.
First of all can we talk about Erin Riley's actual life before all the dark stuff? This woman was choosing hit records for America's number one rock and roll radio station. She was in the room with Keith Richards. Jon Bon Jovi. Steven Tyler. James Taylor. Like this is not a woman who lacked confidence or worldliness or intelligence. And that is exactly what made this book shake me to my core. Because if someone with that kind of life experience and that kind of exposure to the world could spend twenty years not fully understanding what was being done to her, then the rest of us never stood a chance against someone like Fabio.
And Fabio. I cannot even fully describe what reading about this man felt like. He is never loud. Never dramatic. Never the kind of villain you can point to and say, look, there it is, that is the problem. He is quiet. Helpful. Charming. The kind of person everyone outside the relationship adores. The damage he does is invisible from the outside and absolutely suffocating from the inside. Riley describes his tactics with such specificity that I found myself nodding along and then catching myself mid-nod because I was recognizing things I had experienced and never had words for.
The Panama moment. I cannot say too much without spoiling it but I will say that when I got there I had to physically put my phone down and just sit with it for a minute. That is the kind of writing that does not come from craft alone. It comes from someone who has genuinely processed their pain and decided to be completely honest about it on the page.
I also want to say that the way Riley explains the clinical side of covert narcissism throughout the book is genuinely one of the best things about it. She does not dump a psychology textbook on you. She weaves the explanations into the story so naturally that by the end you feel like you actually understand what covert narcissism is, why it works, why it is so hard to leave, and why so many people never fully recover from it without books exactly like this one.
July 10, 2026
This book was incredible. A Dark Force by Erin Riley is a gripping, raw, and ultimately hopeful memoir that held me captive from the very first page. Her story not only resonated with me but opened my eyes to feelings and suspicions I held but could not pinpoint. This book is life-changing, soul-healing, and universally connective in its healing energy for all of us who know the toxic reality of having lived with, loved, known, or married a covert narcissist. I wholeheartedly agree that such a person can be nothing more than a demonic dark force .
The author's courage is extraordinary. Erin Riley seemed to have it all: a 1960s Mad Men-style upbringing in Manhattan, a glamorous escape to 1970s Hollywood, and one of the most influential positions in the 1980s music industry . She chose the hit records for America's #1 rock & roll radio station and hung out with legends like Keith Richards, Steven Tyler, James Taylor, and Jon Bon Jovi . But her rock-and-roll life hid dark secrets. An emotionally neglected child from a family legacy of stoicism, she had no real experience with healthy love and was drawn into two toxic marriages . For twenty years, she suffered under a malignant covert narcissist she calls "Fabio," a man who presented a kind, helpful facade that masked his lack of empathy and manipulative behavior .
This is a harrowing journey of manipulation and abuse, but it is also an educational tool that explains the clinical terms and patterns of covert narcissism in a way no manual can . The devil is revealed in all the details. Erin's narrative explores the slow, insidious unraveling of her life, characterized by Fabio's passive-aggressive behavior, blame-shifting, gaslighting, and avoidance . A devastating breaking point occurs when Fabio brings another woman to Panama, a betrayal that finally forces Riley to confront the horrifying reality of her situation . The book is a cautionary tale that shows how a seemingly strong woman can be systematically broken down by a manipulative partner, her own codependency and hyper-vigilance learned from childhood making her a perfect target .
The author's courage is extraordinary. Erin Riley seemed to have it all: a 1960s Mad Men-style upbringing in Manhattan, a glamorous escape to 1970s Hollywood, and one of the most influential positions in the 1980s music industry . She chose the hit records for America's #1 rock & roll radio station and hung out with legends like Keith Richards, Steven Tyler, James Taylor, and Jon Bon Jovi . But her rock-and-roll life hid dark secrets. An emotionally neglected child from a family legacy of stoicism, she had no real experience with healthy love and was drawn into two toxic marriages . For twenty years, she suffered under a malignant covert narcissist she calls "Fabio," a man who presented a kind, helpful facade that masked his lack of empathy and manipulative behavior .
This is a harrowing journey of manipulation and abuse, but it is also an educational tool that explains the clinical terms and patterns of covert narcissism in a way no manual can . The devil is revealed in all the details. Erin's narrative explores the slow, insidious unraveling of her life, characterized by Fabio's passive-aggressive behavior, blame-shifting, gaslighting, and avoidance . A devastating breaking point occurs when Fabio brings another woman to Panama, a betrayal that finally forces Riley to confront the horrifying reality of her situation . The book is a cautionary tale that shows how a seemingly strong woman can be systematically broken down by a manipulative partner, her own codependency and hyper-vigilance learned from childhood making her a perfect target .
July 15, 2026
I picked this book up because the title caught my attention, but I finished it feeling like I had just listened to a close friend finally tell the story she'd been carrying for years. Erin Riley doesn't just explain what it's like to be in a relationship with a covert narcissist, she lets you experience the confusion, self-doubt, hope, heartbreak, and ultimately the strength it takes to break free.
What impressed me most was how honest she was. She doesn't paint herself as perfect or pretend she had all the answers. Instead, she shares the mistakes, the moments she questioned herself, and how difficult it can be to recognize emotional abuse when you're living through it. That honesty made the book incredibly relatable and believable.
I also enjoyed reading about her life in the music industry. Those stories added another fascinating layer to the memoir and reminded me that even people who seem to have exciting, successful lives can be struggling with things no one else sees.
What impressed me most was how honest she was. She doesn't paint herself as perfect or pretend she had all the answers. Instead, she shares the mistakes, the moments she questioned herself, and how difficult it can be to recognize emotional abuse when you're living through it. That honesty made the book incredibly relatable and believable.
I also enjoyed reading about her life in the music industry. Those stories added another fascinating layer to the memoir and reminded me that even people who seem to have exciting, successful lives can be struggling with things no one else sees.
January 4, 2023
This was quite the read having been through a relationship myself with a narcissist. It brought me right back and assisted in understanding some things one can only understand when looking in from the outside versus living it day to day in the emotion. Erin's views are eye opening and I acknowledge her for her openness and sharing. She really nails it in such a transparent way. I also loved learning of her privileged rock and roll life and was so fun and so touching. This book heals old wounds and really is a wonderful read.
November 8, 2023
Great read, I could not put it down once I started reading. Filled with the terminology you need to to discuss and describe a narcissist. I added Glamping to my vocabulary. Who would guess there was a word for fancy camping. I have been in and seen others in relationships with narcissists. I was always confused by what they do and why they do it. This gave me a clear understanding why some people act in this fashion. If I was in a position to advise those who have been gaslit, i would hand them this book.
February 16, 2023
A Dark Force 20 Years with a Covert Narcissist by Erin Riley was a great book. Courageous, brave, the ultimate survivor. Erin was completely vulnerable, transparent, and compelling in this memoir. If you have any questions about if a person is a Narcissists and how to overcome trauma, this is a must read. Thank you Erin can’t wait for the next one
March 30, 2023
Very provocative. Almost every page included a story, a reference, or an idea that made me question my own conduct and the conduct of those around me, essentially my capacity to love and be loved. Erin's ability to tell her story, while educating others about a serious mental health issue, is unrivaled.
May 8, 2023
Wow. The author went through such a horrible situation and came out the other side. I learned a lot about the terms dealing with the covert narcissist and I'd bet that anyone who's been in a situation like this will recognize so much. This was definitely a heavy story that could easily be made into a limited series. A very personal story that anyone who's been in a bad relationship can relate to.
October 13, 2023
4.5
Content was compelling, however writing style was hard to follow. 5 for content, much less for writing style. Powerful story.
Content was compelling, however writing style was hard to follow. 5 for content, much less for writing style. Powerful story.
January 4, 2023
One of the most compelling reads that I have encountered Erin’s book had me utterly experiencing what her extraordinary life was like. Heart breaking at times, super informative, entertaining as well with the stories of her life in rock and roll and extremely honest in its portrayal of what it is like to live with a “dark force.” Learned so much while enjoying a remarkable read. Highly recommend to all. Could go on for a very long time about the positives of this read.
December 26, 2022
I didn't set out to write a self-help book. I wrote A Dark Force because I needed to understand my own life—how I came to choose and tolerate unhealthy relationships, why I ignored my instincts, and what I needed to learn so I would never travel that road again.
When I decided to publish my story, I hoped it might reach someone who, like me, appeared to have an ideal relationship from the outside but privately lived with confusion, self-doubt, and emotional manipulation they couldn't quite explain.
My greatest hope is that readers come away with a deeper understanding of themselves—not just of narcissism. I want them to recognize their own patterns, trust their intuition, value themselves enough to set healthy boundaries, and understand that there are people who will exploit empathy, kindness, and vulnerability for their own benefit.
The first step is simply accepting that these people exist. The next is learning to recognize the subtle patterns of manipulation, intermittent reinforcement, blame-shifting, and emotional abuse before they slowly erode your confidence and sense of self.
If this book helps even one person put words to an experience they couldn't explain, find the courage to leave an unhealthy relationship, or teach their children how to recognize these behaviors before becoming entangled in them, then sharing my story was worth it.
Trust your instincts. Protect your peace. And above all, remember that loving yourself isn't selfish—it's your greatest protection.
When I decided to publish my story, I hoped it might reach someone who, like me, appeared to have an ideal relationship from the outside but privately lived with confusion, self-doubt, and emotional manipulation they couldn't quite explain.
My greatest hope is that readers come away with a deeper understanding of themselves—not just of narcissism. I want them to recognize their own patterns, trust their intuition, value themselves enough to set healthy boundaries, and understand that there are people who will exploit empathy, kindness, and vulnerability for their own benefit.
The first step is simply accepting that these people exist. The next is learning to recognize the subtle patterns of manipulation, intermittent reinforcement, blame-shifting, and emotional abuse before they slowly erode your confidence and sense of self.
If this book helps even one person put words to an experience they couldn't explain, find the courage to leave an unhealthy relationship, or teach their children how to recognize these behaviors before becoming entangled in them, then sharing my story was worth it.
Trust your instincts. Protect your peace. And above all, remember that loving yourself isn't selfish—it's your greatest protection.
Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews