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Loving them both;: A study of bisexuality and bisexuals
55 pages, Paperback
Published January 1, 1973
16 people want to read
About the author
Colin MacInnes
26 books43 followersMacInnes was born in London, the son of singer James Campbell MacInnes and novelist Angela Thirkell, and was educated in Australia. He served in the British intelligence corps during World War II.
He was the author of a number of books depicting London youth and black immigrant culture during the 1950s, in particular City of Spades (1957), Absolute Beginners (1959) and Mr. Love and Justice (1960).
He was the author of a number of books depicting London youth and black immigrant culture during the 1950s, in particular City of Spades (1957), Absolute Beginners (1959) and Mr. Love and Justice (1960).
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November 9, 2021
as a devout bisexual, I was excited to learn what Colin MacInnes and the year 1973 had to say about unicorns like me. although quite turned off by the title - I would have preferred "Equally Irritated by Both" - the fact that the author is not only one of my favorites, but more importantly is also bi, helped turn my sneer into a leer. here's what I learned! or rather, here's what I learned about what Colin feels about bisexuals, and a lot of other things.
(1) This is 1973, so no mention of non-binary gender or third gender or any of that. Of course, third genders have been around since before Colin's country was even a country, but I'm not going to hold that against the book. And all that said, one of the things I did learn is that Colin MacInnes is a huge gender essentialist. Which I don't love? Eh, shrug. 1973!
(2) Colin feels that bisexual men tend to form deep, lasting relationships with a small number of women while having fun, free, sexually-based, but rather shallow relationships with a much larger number of men, usually on the side.
(3) Colin does not believe that homosexual relationships last; once they enter their "autumn" phase, "they partake invariably of a deal, a human arrangement 'for the best', and not of a relationship developing sexually in gravity and depth."
(4) Relationships and sex between men & women always include emotional drama; this rarely occurs in same-gender affairs. LOL, oh Colin I got some news for you.
(5) Homosexual men fall into 3 categories: "male homosexual men" (i.e. tops), "female homosexual men" (bottoms), and "bisexual homosexual men" (versatile).
[a] He thinks that male homosexual men "have often unattractive natures... They are inclined to be vicious, egotistical and self-satisfied; their particular form of 'maleness' consisting, precisely, in depriving another male of his."
Not a very generous estimation!
[b] Colin thinks that female homosexual men are often "a dreadful nuisance (chatter, chatter, chatter, and compulsory games)" but are also "jolly fellows on the whole, often witty in a sharp way, usually brave, because they have to be. Contrary to legend, they rarely dislike women."
I found this to be a surprisingly nice and generous assessment.
[c] And he thinks that bisexual homosexual men just move back & forth between the two personality types, depending on the company and whether or not they want to be fucked. Well ok then!
(6) Colin really likes to divide people up into categories.
(7) Bisexual men usually act like masculine tops but are apparently not evil. Whew!
(8) Colin doesn't spend a lot of time thinking about women.
(9) When he does think about straight women, he finds them to be mainly delightful. When he thinks about homosexual women, he finds them to be dour and depressing. He thinks they are dour and depressed because they can't have kids. Um, yikes.
(10) Colin may have some problems when it comes to women.
(11) Colin laughs at the idea that homosexual adults try to recruit teens into their ranks. When sexual relationships happen, these are love affairs not recruitment. He makes sure to divide that from pederasty, which I appreciated? Anyway, he is against pederasty and pro-sex education. I wonder if his tolerance for teen/adult love affairs is due to age of consent being 16 in UK. I think?
(12) Colin thinks that "handsome, well-adjusted" straight men don't mind having a homosexual around them, because most heterosexual men enjoy the flattery that will inevitably occur. I mean, he's not wrong? Colin also feels that if a flirty homosexual gets too obnoxious about it, a straight man can just give him a literal smackdown, and that will be that. I guess also not wrong, but can't say I loved that comment.
(13) If a woman is in a relationship with a bisexual man, it is best that she knows about it and either fully allows him to explore his "duality" by having side-guys, or at least looks the other way. Because...
(14) No male, bisexual or homosexual or heterosexual, is truly capable of monogamy.
(15) According to Colin, male prostitutes fall into two categories: "males looking for female homosexual men" and "female homosexual males looking for male homosexual men or bisexuals". Ok now I'm a little confused just typing that out. Of the first type, there are three subcategories:
[a] True Tops, and we know how Colin feels about them: vicious, sadistic, "rough trade"
[b] Bisexuals who make it with female homosexual males and who fool themselves into thinking they are actually straight
[c] Bogus Bisexuals who lead female homosexual males on and usually just end up sitting on the couch, hanging out at length drinking beer, probably shirtless, telling their traumatic life stories at such length that the poor homosexual finally hands some cash over to get rid of them. A sadly peen-less night for such homosexuals.
(16) People in the military are no more likely to be gay or bi than any other profession.
(17) In the Elizabethan times, people were both a lot more MALE and FEMALE, and also a lot more bisexual without worrying about it. The High Puritan age that followed destroyed this sexy joie de vivre that people once thought was normal.
(18) In England at least, the Upper Classes will do anything, they're depraved. The Lower-Middle Classes are all about sterile respectability. The True Middle Class are accepting of bisexuals and homosexuals but actually mistrust them, and are where the dreaded Anti-Homosexual Homosexual springs from.
The Working Class, when tolerant of bisexuals and homosexuals, are much more genuine: "it is not an intellectual, abstract toleration, prompted by a liberal sense of duty, but an actual one, on the shop floor, in the barrack room, in the boozer." Clearly, Colin has a fave class.
(19) Per Colin's extensive experience getting his dick sucked around the globe, he can also attest to the following:
- Greek & Arab cultures are heterosexual cultures above all, despite the fantasies of many homosexuals.
- Unlike what many of his countrymen think, there is no specific African culture because this is a continent filled with many different countries and tribes that are very different from one another (I appreciated this). It is apparently very easy for a bisexual gent to find sex in Africa.
- Carribean culture is bisexual, and Caribbeans blame white influence for the habit.
- The less said about puritanical American culture, the better. Colin thinks that American gay bars are like voluntary slave markets. LOLOLOL
- Communist countries are resolutely puritanical, even the supposedly revolutionary ones.
- Japan is a bisexual country.
- Europe is a mixed bag: Spaniards are uptight, Italians are free & easy bi-types, French homosexuals are segregated and French bisexuals keep quiet about it, Germany is a bisexual nation.
- UK: the Irish are the most passionate and the least sensual people in Europe. The Scots are the most sloppily sensual but are "lacking in passion, for which they substitute sentimentality and wanton violence. When caught in the mood... they can be delightful lovers."
Sounds like Colin had some good times in Scotland!
(20) Balzac is "the only novelist of major stature that the Western world has ever produced."
(1) This is 1973, so no mention of non-binary gender or third gender or any of that. Of course, third genders have been around since before Colin's country was even a country, but I'm not going to hold that against the book. And all that said, one of the things I did learn is that Colin MacInnes is a huge gender essentialist. Which I don't love? Eh, shrug. 1973!
(2) Colin feels that bisexual men tend to form deep, lasting relationships with a small number of women while having fun, free, sexually-based, but rather shallow relationships with a much larger number of men, usually on the side.
(3) Colin does not believe that homosexual relationships last; once they enter their "autumn" phase, "they partake invariably of a deal, a human arrangement 'for the best', and not of a relationship developing sexually in gravity and depth."
(4) Relationships and sex between men & women always include emotional drama; this rarely occurs in same-gender affairs. LOL, oh Colin I got some news for you.
(5) Homosexual men fall into 3 categories: "male homosexual men" (i.e. tops), "female homosexual men" (bottoms), and "bisexual homosexual men" (versatile).
[a] He thinks that male homosexual men "have often unattractive natures... They are inclined to be vicious, egotistical and self-satisfied; their particular form of 'maleness' consisting, precisely, in depriving another male of his."
Not a very generous estimation!
[b] Colin thinks that female homosexual men are often "a dreadful nuisance (chatter, chatter, chatter, and compulsory games)" but are also "jolly fellows on the whole, often witty in a sharp way, usually brave, because they have to be. Contrary to legend, they rarely dislike women."
I found this to be a surprisingly nice and generous assessment.
[c] And he thinks that bisexual homosexual men just move back & forth between the two personality types, depending on the company and whether or not they want to be fucked. Well ok then!
(6) Colin really likes to divide people up into categories.
(7) Bisexual men usually act like masculine tops but are apparently not evil. Whew!
(8) Colin doesn't spend a lot of time thinking about women.
(9) When he does think about straight women, he finds them to be mainly delightful. When he thinks about homosexual women, he finds them to be dour and depressing. He thinks they are dour and depressed because they can't have kids. Um, yikes.
(10) Colin may have some problems when it comes to women.
(11) Colin laughs at the idea that homosexual adults try to recruit teens into their ranks. When sexual relationships happen, these are love affairs not recruitment. He makes sure to divide that from pederasty, which I appreciated? Anyway, he is against pederasty and pro-sex education. I wonder if his tolerance for teen/adult love affairs is due to age of consent being 16 in UK. I think?
(12) Colin thinks that "handsome, well-adjusted" straight men don't mind having a homosexual around them, because most heterosexual men enjoy the flattery that will inevitably occur. I mean, he's not wrong? Colin also feels that if a flirty homosexual gets too obnoxious about it, a straight man can just give him a literal smackdown, and that will be that. I guess also not wrong, but can't say I loved that comment.
(13) If a woman is in a relationship with a bisexual man, it is best that she knows about it and either fully allows him to explore his "duality" by having side-guys, or at least looks the other way. Because...
(14) No male, bisexual or homosexual or heterosexual, is truly capable of monogamy.
(15) According to Colin, male prostitutes fall into two categories: "males looking for female homosexual men" and "female homosexual males looking for male homosexual men or bisexuals". Ok now I'm a little confused just typing that out. Of the first type, there are three subcategories:
[a] True Tops, and we know how Colin feels about them: vicious, sadistic, "rough trade"
[b] Bisexuals who make it with female homosexual males and who fool themselves into thinking they are actually straight
[c] Bogus Bisexuals who lead female homosexual males on and usually just end up sitting on the couch, hanging out at length drinking beer, probably shirtless, telling their traumatic life stories at such length that the poor homosexual finally hands some cash over to get rid of them. A sadly peen-less night for such homosexuals.
(16) People in the military are no more likely to be gay or bi than any other profession.
(17) In the Elizabethan times, people were both a lot more MALE and FEMALE, and also a lot more bisexual without worrying about it. The High Puritan age that followed destroyed this sexy joie de vivre that people once thought was normal.
(18) In England at least, the Upper Classes will do anything, they're depraved. The Lower-Middle Classes are all about sterile respectability. The True Middle Class are accepting of bisexuals and homosexuals but actually mistrust them, and are where the dreaded Anti-Homosexual Homosexual springs from.
The Working Class, when tolerant of bisexuals and homosexuals, are much more genuine: "it is not an intellectual, abstract toleration, prompted by a liberal sense of duty, but an actual one, on the shop floor, in the barrack room, in the boozer." Clearly, Colin has a fave class.
(19) Per Colin's extensive experience getting his dick sucked around the globe, he can also attest to the following:
- Greek & Arab cultures are heterosexual cultures above all, despite the fantasies of many homosexuals.
- Unlike what many of his countrymen think, there is no specific African culture because this is a continent filled with many different countries and tribes that are very different from one another (I appreciated this). It is apparently very easy for a bisexual gent to find sex in Africa.
- Carribean culture is bisexual, and Caribbeans blame white influence for the habit.
- The less said about puritanical American culture, the better. Colin thinks that American gay bars are like voluntary slave markets. LOLOLOL
- Communist countries are resolutely puritanical, even the supposedly revolutionary ones.
- Japan is a bisexual country.
- Europe is a mixed bag: Spaniards are uptight, Italians are free & easy bi-types, French homosexuals are segregated and French bisexuals keep quiet about it, Germany is a bisexual nation.
- UK: the Irish are the most passionate and the least sensual people in Europe. The Scots are the most sloppily sensual but are "lacking in passion, for which they substitute sentimentality and wanton violence. When caught in the mood... they can be delightful lovers."
Sounds like Colin had some good times in Scotland!
(20) Balzac is "the only novelist of major stature that the Western world has ever produced."
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