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Finding an Unseen God: Reflections of a Former Atheist

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Finding an Unseen God is a vulnerable and thought-provoking telling of Alicia Chole's journey from confident atheism to sincere faith in Jesus. Describing herself as a "fierce realist who prefers unanswered questions over fairy tales," Chole explores the mystery of belief. In short, conversational chapters that engage the heart and mind, she invites readers to consider how their portrait of God came into being and to compare it with The Original.

176 pages, Paperback

First published May 1, 2009

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About the author

Alicia Britt Chole

16 books213 followers

Whether in person or in print, Alicia's voice carries an invitation to walk with God anew. A former atheist, her love for God and His Word overflows to bring ancient truth to life.

Often described as a captivating communicator, Alicia speaks, writes, mentors, and serves as the founding director of Leadership Investment Intensives, Inc, a non-profit devoted to providing personal soul-care to leaders in the marketplace and church. Her book, Anonymous: Jesus' Hidden Years and Yours, is highly regarded by leaders and learners around the globe.

Alicia holds a B.A. in Plan II/Pre-Law (University of Texas, Austin), an M.A. in TESOL (University of Texas, Austin) and a DMin in Leadership and Spiritual Formation (George Fox Evangelical Seminary). Alicia and her husband of 25 years joyfully parent their three extraordinary children in a country home off of a dirt road surrounded by loads of laundry, laughter, and love.

To learn more about Alicia, visit her website at www.aliciachole.com or on twitter @aliciachole.

Favorite Quotes:

Oswald Chambers: 'My goal is God Himself, not joy nor peace nor even blessing, but Himself, my God.'

A.W. Tozer: 'The essence of idolatry is the entertainment of thoughts about God that are unworthy of Him.'

Henri Nouwen: 'Did growing older bring me closer to Jesus?'

Brother Lawrence: 'Always rejoice at being able to do little things for the love of God.'

Basilea Schlink: 'Jesus and the penitent sinner belong together.'
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Displaying 1 - 18 of 18 reviews
Profile Image for David Gregg.
95 reviews60 followers
February 2, 2015
"There is only one reasonable response when a God—whose reality you have denied—pursues you."

You could have guessed that someone could write a book with a subtitle like "Reflections of a Former Atheist" any number of ways. One way might be sappy and clichéd. A second might be polemic and combative. Another might be condescending, or glib, or sardonic. But you might not have guessed that, instead, this book would be refreshing, gripping, and original. Or how about artful and intelligent? Whether she knows it or not, Alicia Britt Chole has given us a glimpse at what a masterful writer can do with a difficult subject and a dichotomous audience. Reasonable Theists and Atheists alike can appreciate this little book's big presence.

From the moment I opened the Table of Contents (Literally. Have a look.), I knew "Finding an Unseen God" was going to be an interesting read. And it was. The book alternates between two threads: her reasons for her now "former Atheist" status, and the story behind it all—going back to the beginning of her childhood. The net: you begin to feel that you know this young Atheist, you understand (if not accept) her reasons for being an Atheist, and you understand (if not accept) why she can now say that she not only believes that God exists, but believes in Him, as well.

Through the weaving reason and experience, Alicia confesses why her belief does not mean for her intellectual high treason and why Atheism can mean intellectual integrity.

Atheists will find the Christian Chole respectful, level-headed, and even partially affirmative. She says,

"Some would say that the Atheist disbelieves too quickly. Perhaps. But then, perhaps some Theists believe too easily.... Atheism still makes sense to me and I am delighted whenever I meet a practicing Atheist. No doubt my past biases me, but I find Atheists to be thoughtful, intelligent, concerned about the world, and grounded in reality."

Theists will find the former-Atheist Chole challenging, inspiring, and even tonic.

"...not having grown up in this faith, I had very few preconceptions of what followers of Jesus did and did not do. No doubt, more than a few were puzzled by the dissonance between my clearly earnest faith and still-in-formation theology. But the close-to-blank slate gave me the freedom to focus on simply knowing God as opposed to worrying about if it looked like I knew God."

"Finding an Unseen God" not only traces the course and pulse of Alicia's life, believing and unbelieving, it provides sound reasoning for integrity in the dialog between Theists and Atheists. Atheists can sometimes be heard demanding of believers of any kind, "Prove to me the existence of deity." Theists often reply with the regretful explanation that God's existence cannot be proven empirically. Alicia comments,

"When the tables are turned, however, I think the honest Atheist might say, 'But God's non-existence cannot with finality be proven.' I agree. Why, then, is it considered ethical to ask the Theist to absolutely prove what the Atheist knows cannot be absolutely disproven? Theists are challenged to do the impossible, and then their failure is entered as evidence that their beliefs are misplaced.
"This is not a cry for mercy. It is a cry for integrity in the discussion."

Chole does not ask Atheists to consider an easy, ignorant Theism. Instead, she describes a God who isn't afraid of being questioned:

"What a relief it was for me to discover that this continual questioning did not make God nervous. Interrogatives do not irritate God. Emotionally charged query does not shut God down. Over the past quarter century I have come to the conclusion that God is, after all, rather secure."

"Believing" she says, "does not mean that you will no longer have questions.
"Believing does not mean that you will turn off your brain.
"Believing does not mean that you will enter into a relationship with God in which you can bribe him to do your will.
"Believing does not mean that you will live in denial about real, raw life."

She describes a God who pursues personal relationship and who loves indiscriminately.

"When this pursuing Presence caught up with me, it did not crush me with anger or cause me to cower in the corner with shame.... love itself was redefined. God's love had a backbone. God's love was strong and volitional: a trust-inducing blend of unreserved devotion, full knowledge, and acceptance so lavish, so complete, that it was healing.
"The one reasonable response? Surrender.
"God was. My worldview was irreparably altered....
"It was true that God's existence would change everything. But I had never intentionally lied to myself before, and I was not going to start then."

Though more directly written with Atheists and Christians in mind, whatever your conviction, "Finding an Unseen God: Reflections of a Former Atheist" is a very appreciable read, one I personally found both fun and stimulating. And at 164 pages and interwoven with very well-written biographical story, it's a breeze to be sure. This is a book I'm proud to have on my shelf.

http://www.thegoodquestion.com/2009/0...
Profile Image for Chloe ✿ Stewart.
36 reviews
August 3, 2025
An ocean of forgiveness is available to each of us. No matter what we have done, when we come to God sincerely, He forgives us freely. (p.148)


Truth is NOT dead.
God has always lived.
Life is full of pain.
Death is but a door.
And the God who IS, aches to love us. (p. 164)
Profile Image for Linore.
Author 32 books346 followers
April 26, 2017
This is an honest tale of growing up and finding faith--without ever looking for it. As a former atheist, the author has an interesting perspective on life before and after knowing Jesus. Chole (Ko-lee) says she had NO interest in knowing God, as she was darned sure he didn't exist. When the Lord revealed himself to her, therefore, it was nothing less than mind-blowing--first, to herself, but also to everyone who knew her.
She is a reflective writer ("Reflections," indeed) and certainly no atheist could claim that she has simply not considered any argument--instead, she's well versed in the usual (if there are "usual") objections to faith, by Atheists. She lived and believed them. It all changed when she had a personal encounter with Jesus.
I picked up the book to get a feel for what it was like and read it straight through in one sitting.
I'll be giving a copy to a few people I know who have not yet had their own "encounter." Chole writes prettily, and the pages fly past. Whether you're looking for a book to point seekers towards or not, you'll enoy this one.
Note: I just picked up the book again, years after my first review, and once again read it straight through! Highly readable, it's touching, honest, and encouraging.
10 reviews2 followers
April 1, 2013
It's been quite a while since I've liked a book dealing with a spiritual topic in this sort of way. I'll explain. I usually read spiritual books for information. I feel that it is important for me to know what the author has to say. I don't often read these types of books for literary entertainment or beauty.

Alica Britt Chole's book, "Finding an Unseen God: Reflections of a Former Atheist" was a welcome change. The arrangement of the chapters was a quick indicator that the author was thinking about more than simply conveying information. The 1st chapter is 52, the 2nd is 1, the 3rd, 51, and so on and so forth. 52 begins at a key point in the author's past. 1 goes back further, Chole's birth. From there, the story travels from many different directions and meets somewhere in the middle. The point of arrival is the author's entry into the Christian faith.

This is really well done. There were stories that awakened my heart, experiences that mirrored my own and helped me relate and solid thoughts that forced my intellect to work and move beyond pat answers.

Even though the author gives the reader a lot to think about the work reads lightly. It's not bogged down or heavy.

Definitely something worth revisiting in the future. Worth sharing with friends.
Profile Image for Kimberly.
329 reviews8 followers
June 24, 2017
Alicia gives a personal account of how she went from being aggressively atheistic to a born again Christian. Because of her own story she is able to graciously argue her case for Christianity. It's an encouraging read!

Her account flits from one time period to another and takes a few chapters to adjust too, but in the end I think it works well.

Her chapters are short and the book is a quick read. On some chapters, I wished for more discussion on important topics, but by keeping it short, she also doesn't allow the book to get bogged down.
588 reviews
July 24, 2019
Thought it felt rather jumbled to me, overall this book is honest, endearing, and thought-provoking.

Among others, I appreciated this point:

"[...] truth is sometimes un-findable. Some mysteries will never be solved. Some questions will never be answered. However, that does not mean there is no answer. Unknown and even unknowable are not synonyms for non-existent." (81)
Profile Image for Chris Hart.
443 reviews3 followers
April 13, 2019
I found the content of this slim volume valuable, but I disliked the format the author chose. She alternates very short chapters of her personal story with equally short chapters of researched information. So, A for effort, D for execution.
Profile Image for Stephen Escalera.
66 reviews9 followers
December 21, 2010
Truth is dead.
God never lived.
Life is filled with pain.
Death is the end of life.

Whenever we as Christians hear these statements, immediately our defenses go up and we are ready to defend our faith against whatever else an atheistic, agnostic, or spiritually relativistic person can throw at us. We often forget the humanity of the person making these statements in our attempts to defend and go on the offensive against these principles. We simply switch into debate mode and steam headlong into our desire to win the argument at all costs.

Finding an Unseen God is part autobiography and part philosophical apologetics for the Christian faith as seen from the perspective of a former atheist. The above axioms guided author Alicia Britt Chole's world until one day, unexpectedly, her world was broken into by a Person who had doggedly pursued after her for her entire life. She chronicles her journey into and subsequently her sudden departure out of the world of atheism. The chapters alternate between her story and her helpful, compassionate insights into the mind of an atheist. It is this compassionate, full-of-grace style that permeates the book while refusing to argue for the sake of argument. Her points come across simply yet profoundly and full of wisdom. In noting the tendency for both sides of the argument to become heated over the elusiveness or non-elusiveness of truth, she offers and expands on four filters for any belief system to be tested by:

* Is my belief system consistent (at its core)?
* Is my belief system livable (and not just quotable)?
* Is my belief system sustainable (through life-size pain)?
* Is my belief system transferable (to others)?

Although at first it seems that the manner in which the short, bite-sized chapters are presented is confusing, the disjointed writing style becomes welcoming as she flits back and forth between childhood and adulthood, one thread detailing her life before Christianity, the other thread discussing the philosophical whys and wherefores of belief. For example, when talking about her dad and his non-religious views, she breaks away to first delve into explaining atheistic thought-processes before returning once more to her dad. In a way, it gives depth to both lines of thought.

She closes with five "things I like about God" and again I was struck by the simple manner in which she writes about a God whose love has affected her life so dramatically. The book ends with a revision of the original belief statements that once again brings our focus to the true and living God who is Truth.

Truth is not dead.
God has always lived.
Life is full of pain.
Death is but a door.
And the God who is, aches to love us.
Profile Image for James Korsmo.
542 reviews28 followers
Read
August 3, 2011
This is a delightful, honest story about finding, or better, being found by, God. In two converging threads, Chole narrates her own journey through Atheism to faith in God while also reflecting on the nature of God and belief. Chole's own story highlights her father, a man who she deeply respected and loved, and who didn't believe in God. Before reaching junior high, Chole had embraced her father's Atheism, and into high school she grew to be outspoken in her disdain for faith of every kind. But in the summer after high school, wholly unlooked-for, God met her.

Woven together with her own journey to faith is Chole's thoughtful reflections on Atheism and its adherents, for whom she has the utmost respect, and her description of the nature of belief in God, complete with four "filters" (consistent, livable, sustainable, transferable) through which various belief systems can be sifted, all in search of truth. Last, through five things that she likes about God (God delights in sincere questions; walking with God sharpens the mind; God is not a fool; God is the ultimate realist; God is knowable), she paints a beautiful portrait of what God is like; one especially suited to those seeking or being sought by God.

While some might be put off by the interwoven story lines, I think Chole pulls off the two threads to good effect. Her writing is very clear, with many finely turned phrases elegantly communicating the depth of her reflection. This book is not an argument for God's existence, a handbook of apologetics, but is instead a thoughtful and honest story of being found by God. I would not hesitate to put this book into the hands of an Athiest or an agnostic, or even any Christian who may need to meet God afresh, because Chole's compassion and respect for others comes through clearly in her writing and earns her a hearing.
Profile Image for Chris Hyde.
178 reviews15 followers
August 4, 2009
The book “Finding an Unseen God” by Alicia Britt Chole is part biographical and part apologetic. Chole shares a great deal about her life (especially as a teen) and chronicles why she was an atheist. But in alternating chapters, Chole shares how and why she came to believe in God and even gives reasons for her continued belief today. The anecdotal stories she shares from her childhood are interesting enough and provide an authenticity to her writing. I also appreciated the ways that she explained why faith in Jesus is sincerely credible. It is a short (170 page) book that is fairly easy to read.

This book is written in a creative way, with chapters alternating between biography and apologetic. At first, I was enraptured by her writing style and the creativity in how the themes alternated and woven together so beautifully. But by the middle of the book, the bouncing back and forth of the subject matter became a bit disjointed. It was only in the last few chapters that it wove together again in a way that worked well.

This book may not knock you over but I think it would be a great read for someone who is exploring belief in God. I’ll give it 3 out of 5 stars.
Profile Image for Jamie.
32 reviews
October 23, 2009
Wow! Alicia is by far one of my favorite writers. She’s a genius and her writing reflects that - often causing me to pause, reflect, and ponder. Her creativity inspires me and this book leaves no room for disappointment in that area. She shares the story of her life as an atheist and how God pursued her in spite of her belief that He did not exist. It’s interwoven with many nuggets of wisdom including four filters to run your own faith through as well as five reasons she not only loves God, but likes Him too. Alicia paints a picture of real life without skirting the issues while also surrounding reality with the beauty of the mystery of God. It’s a thought provoking read for anyone – seekers, atheists, Christ followers or any spiritual being, really.
Profile Image for Brad Kittle.
153 reviews12 followers
May 7, 2024
Really would give it a 3.5. Thought the format was a little awkward at first; but I got used to it as I read a long. Alicia's story was very interesting and I really grew to like her; but I wonder if the story could have been told in a different way more effectively. I really liked her relationship with her Dad; but wanted to know more about it. She really respected and loved her Father but the reader never really knows quite why--she hints at it and says some good things about him but leaves him a largely unexplored character. I'd like to know more about him.

Overall, very good and I would recommend but felt the book, with a few changes, could have been better.
736 reviews8 followers
May 31, 2011
This caught my attention because a friend had shared notes from a Bible study Chole had led at a retreat in New Mexico. I knew that Chloe had moved from atheism to faith--and since I love faith stories, I was eager to read. Alternating chapters of her journey with chapters that could be considered "apologetics," I was once again amazed at how God works uniquely in each of us, but the story is essentially the same: we move from darkness to light, animosity to devotion, guilt to grace! Can be read in an hour or so. Well written, clear thinking, intelligent and provocative.
136 reviews1 follower
April 30, 2009
This is totally up my alley. How someone found God. The background is incredible. I got to work at Alicia's book table at a recent rally at church and got to meet her. What an impact!
4 reviews7 followers
March 27, 2013
It was interesting to read about her thought process as God slowly changed her heart, but it didn't go into much depth. I enjoyed the ending of the book though; there was lots of great truth there.
Profile Image for Emma.
12 reviews
July 25, 2014
Was hard to read at first... But enjoyed the ending
Displaying 1 - 18 of 18 reviews

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