Mother's Ruin

by Nicola Barry

Nicola Barry grew up in well-to-do Murrayfield, Edinburgh. Her father was a hopsital consultant, her mother was medically trained, her brothers boarders at public school. But behind the closed doors of their imposing family home, her mother was drinking herself to death. A beautiful, quirky woman, this is the story of how Monica Barry became a prisoner to alcohol and a prisoner in her own home, her addiction slowly sucking the life out of her. And how - with her father at work, and her brothers away at school - Nicola spent a lot of her childhood as her mother's unofficial carer: hauling her from the bath when she was too drunk to function and running errands to buy her booze.

Full of harrowing incidents, and warmed by a touching, bleak humour, this is the powerful story of how a mother drank herself to death and how alcohol destroyed a family. And of how Nicola battled with her own alcoholism but, determined to throw off her mother's legacy, came through - a survivor.

Genres: Biography, Nonfiction

294 pages, Paperback

First published July 12, 2007

Reviews

[Suz · Rating 3 out of 5]

What a tragic story this family has with alcohol as the core of so much grief. One incident that the daughter was involved with still makes me cringe, a long time after reading. This is so heartbreaking as it's true. Honestly this isn't to be read by just anyone, only if you're prepared for shocking stuff.

[Kim · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a really interesting account of how an alcoholic mother led Nicola to fight her own battle with drink along with other medical disasters that she had to contend with. She was the youngest child and often kept off school to go and buy alcohol off a neighbour for her mother. She loved her stays in hospital with her hip problems- because she felt safe, secure and loved whilst she was there.

[Love · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really did LOVE this book. I loved her style, her delivery of subject everything. The story is so sad because you know there had to be love in her family. It is a shame that the drink ruins these families. In so many it continues on into the next generation. Either by them doing the same or it effecting them emotional, scarring them for life. Drugs and Drink are deseases I do believe that. I also do believe we have some control over such things. In severe cases I guess you do not need other people and thats what this story seems like. Nicola's mother wanted to be alone unless she needed help ect..Nicola was neglected and abused sexually because of the drink. I have to deal with achild who was born with the effects of such drinking and he is literally disabled for life. As Nicola was physically as a child...Very sad. Just goes to show how strong she is for writting this book. I am so glad she found out her mother did LOVE her and care in the end and to find out that even with the drinking she still did things for others. Sad her father could not just stick around and help out instead of putting it off on Nicola..Great book a must read!

[Connie · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the first book I've ever read in 29 years that I've actually sobbed over.

I relate to this so so much. And the fact I've lost my mum...she's now an Angel, well, it just caused me to sob like a baby, and blow Snot Bubbles.

Alcohol is amongst my family too, aswell as extended family. My mum too was a drinker. As was I. Officially 389 days since my last tipple.

I think once I've calmed down, I'll write a decent review. But I've just this second finished the book, and so need to go and blow me snout.

5* anyway...mainly for making me cry. I've never cried over a book.

[Justyna · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting book, sometimes you think " my childhood was hard". When you read this book you can find out it wasn't so bad at all.

[Daphne Allen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Excellent memoir of Nicola Barry’s childhood and later relationship with her alcoholic mother and distant father. Honest and very sad. This will resonate with anyone who has had a close relationship with an addict. Told with humour and pain, the author went on to do great things and ultimately this is a story of hope for her and all of us. I loved it.

[Gayle · Rating 5 out of 5]

brilliant read recommend

[Jaimie-Lee Xuereb · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars

[Trudi Lawley · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a tough read. I cried out loud a couple of times and felt sick when animals were hurt. Such a sad sorry life for so many.

[Aleisha · Rating 3 out of 5]

Sad story April about alcoholism - from mother to daughter. Give it 3.2

[joanne byrne · Rating 5 out of 5]

Emotional

Very good, brought back some memories for me. Well written and edited. Think your mum was miss understood, can see how her alcoholism affected your childhood

[Megan Parr · Rating 3 out of 5]

Bangkok, Thailand

[Jennifer · Rating 3 out of 5]

Trigger warning- for physical abuse.
A memoir that is wincingly tragic yet written with insight and frankness. Clearly a talented writer and mercifully there is a happy ending at the life point at which it was written. Some omissions of details of aspects of her adult life and also of her Mother's survival without her being around to help her. But as its a memoir mainly of her earlier life, it foreshortens the latter part of her life and gives a broader picture of it. Clarifying and reflecting on the very difficult circumstances of her upbringing, the autobiography shows the negative impact it had on her own emotional life, life skills and self development. A sad but compassionate look at the alienation that alcohol dependence can bring between people.

[Gabe · Rating 3 out of 5]

Nicola Barry's upbringing is seemingly incredible. The book is littered with tragic vignettes, an outpouring of horrific tales resulting from her mother's alcoholism that seem otherworldly, far-fetched. It's only when you realize that these stories are true that you forgive Barry's tangential writing and discover that these bursts of memories amount to a confession and an act of forgiveness for both Barry and her tortured mother.

[Simone Yemm · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book is a fascinating read, but is sadly not brilliantly written. If alcoholism has affected your family in any capacity, this is a unique insight. Colourful, but rather disjointed. Makes most families seem pitifully normal...

[Issi]

Story of a journalist, her alcoholic mother and her own battles with drink. Very good.

[Markjuliuspoblete]

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