Why Do I Say These Things?

by Jonathan Ross

In his wicked and witty autobiography, TV presenter Ross tackles all manner of subjects from daily life — diets, sex, pets, fashion — mystified and delighted at his own and everyone else’s idiocy.


From the Hardcover edition.

Genres: Nonfiction, Biography, Autobiography, Memoir, Celebrity

380 pages, Paperback

First published November 20, 2008

About the author

Jonathan Stephen Ross is a television and radio presenter best known for presenting his own chat show, ‘Friday Night with Jonathan Ross’ on BBC One during the 2000s. A multi-faceted personality, he has worked as a comedian, film critic, broadcaster and radio DJ at different junctures in his media career. Considered to be among the most successful British broadcasters of his generation, he began his career as a researcher for Channel 4. As the son of a mother who worked as a film extra and radio presenter, Jonathan and his siblings were from a young age motivated to pursue a media career. He had his first stint, as a presenter, in the series ‘The Last Resort’. The show was short lived but it exposed the young Jonathan to the attractions of show business and established him as a major star for the Channel 4. Soon he became famous for his cheeky sense of humour and sharp-witted commentary. He regards the talk show host David Letterman as his inspiration. He suffers from a distinctive speech impediment which serves as the basis for several of his self-deprecating jokes. A very popular presenter, he is also the recipient of three BAFTA awards for Best Entertainment Performance. Ross is an avid reader and also the author of two comic books.

Reviews

[Tracey · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is a nice read. Jonathan Ross comes over as a really nice guy , a devoted husband and father. It’s a honest read .

[Monica · Rating 4 out of 5]

Oh, Jonathan Ross... Why DO you say these things? He says it quite well at the end of his book:

"Really I should have shut up, but I am so convinced that I can salvage situations with words that I pressed on and at this point made matters slightly worse..."

It's pattern that you'll recognize as classic Ross if you've spent any time watching his television appearances. Somehow I find his lack of social insight to be really endearing, probably because he seems to have no malice for anyone. He's exactly what he portrays: a happy-go-lucky idiot who happened to luck his way into a career that put him in front of millions and afforded him the platform from which to share his bumbles publicly and without shame.

You'll learn things that perhaps you mightn't have wanted to know but then again he's so unashamed that you find that you're not experiencing shame in the subject either. It's a laugh and a bit of a stumper and I recommend it.

[Mandy · Rating 3 out of 5]

I have a fondness for Andrew Sachs, that I should declare right at the outset, and I also have a belief that leaving messages on a gradparent's answerphone about the sexual exploits of their grand-daughter is a pretty revolting thing to do, and even more revolting to make the calls publicly on radio. I didn't listen the the radio show, so my feelings are not related to what was said, just the general fact of it being said. I cannot but think of how upset my grandparents would have been, or how upset my Mum would be to get that type of message about my nieces. And that back story does colour this book, which does not mention the episode at all, but which was published 5 days after the phone call, presumably to benefit from the publicity.

Jonathan Ross is a very entertaining writer, and this book is amusing. That's it really, apart from saying that I now know far more about his genitals that I really wish to.

[Kim Annabella · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book arrives swiftly on the heels of the Andrew sachs debacle whereupon he and russel brand were were publicly suspended from the bbc like naughty schoolboys caught cadging a fag off someone behind the bike sheds after a prank call to the grandfather of one of brand’s conquests. And to think some people accuse the bbc of loosing it’s edge pfft.

Oh johnathan ross, I love your Friday night show, your hot wife, your comic book obsession & the anecdotes about your rotund pug mr.pickles which I've found myself laughing out loud about in agreement.

200 pages in & I’m currently wondering “do all men have at least one henry the hoover incident in their past?” don’t all rush to answer that question at one,now.

[Dead John Williams · Rating 1 out of 5]

Why Do I Say These Things by Jonathan Ross I really wanted to like this book because I have always enjoyed seeing him on TV.
 
I like his humour and his manner and his charm.
 
How disappointed I was then to find it rather banal. It is like a humorous jaunt down Jonathan Ross memory lane. I expected something lively, funny and perceptive. Instead it read more like a 5th former's "What I did in the holidays" school essay.
 
Sorry Jonathan, I tried, I plodded and I  persevered.

[Kate · Rating 1 out of 5]

first half a dozen pages are dreadful, full of things that are supposed to be jokes.. but aren't. then it gets a smidge better. overall pointless, all you learn about him is his love for animals, the rest is boring.

[Stuart · Rating 1 out of 5]

I really like Jonathan Ross but I really couldn't get into this book. I just found the chapters a struggle and made it to the third chapter/story before giving up.

[Pamela Harridine · Rating 1 out of 5]

I always like to finish a book when I start one, but the only reason I needed to turn pages quickly with this one was to get to the end quicker....couldn’t manage it, bored so binned it part way!

[Ashley · Rating 3 out of 5]

A bit dated thought it was written over 15 years ago and times have changed quite a lot over the past 10.
It fails to address some rather large wrongdoings by Ross. He is however someone I have always had a soft spot for. I enjoy his interviewing style and have always found he gets on well and his film knowledge is pretty superb. I think he’d be a good pal and still manages to make me laugh. I’m just not sure if I’ve outgrown Jonathan Ross.

[Charles James · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not an autobiography , which is it's the books strength and weakness .It is a selection of amusing stories/anecdotes by Johnathan Ross , some more amusing than others .So when you get to the less interesting bit there is nothing to push the book forward . A tendency to ramble .

[Christian Tait · Rating 1 out of 5]

A rambling, pointless excuse for a book. Neither funny nor necessary. I was genuinely a fan of his (which is why I bought the book) but it left me with a far lower opinion of him once I’d finished reading it.

[Asta Schmitz · Rating 3 out of 5]

50% laugh out loud funny, 50% filler.

[Lord Bobby · Rating 4 out of 5]

A good read I did laugh through it . What you get on TV is what you get inside this book . Good read on the bus

[David · Rating 3 out of 5]

Decently entertaining and Ross comes across well, and Jane Goldman, his wife, better.

[Ana · Rating 2 out of 5]

I haven’t really finished reading this book but I can’t make myself read any more. I thought it’d be funny, but it’s mostly really not. 😕

[Natalie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed this. I don't follow Jonathan Ross in particular but I love a biography and I did think this was a biography but it's not.

It was just a comical list of stories, combined with different events in his life. It was very funny throughout and I did enjoy this. There were some stories of growing up and career stories, but it doesn't run as a biography if that is what you intend to read.

Very enjoyable read though.

[Rebecca Jones · Rating 2 out of 5]

He's not Danny Baker, this book prooves it. I like Jonathan Ross , but Danny Baker writes his funny bits.

[Gary Cupitt · Rating 4 out of 5]

I picked this one up from Poundland, so either the printers had got their numbers wrong, or it wasn't doing as well as the publishers had assumed it would. There's limited structure, it lacks a beginning, middle or end, and feels as though it was written on the hoof. However, I loved it. He has an irrelevant, charm and wit and acts driven and childish at the same time. Sure he can offend, but takes more than he gives. 4 rating for him and 5 for Jane for keeping her career and one extra child in line

[Maria · Rating 4 out of 5]

In this book Jonathan Ross, the well known TV presenter, takes us on a journey through the high points of his life and career to date, and some of the strange and funny things that have happened to him along the way. I love Jonathan's TV shows and have always been a big fan, so I thought it would be interesting to learn a bit more about the man behind the TV persona. This book is not really an autobiography as such, as he doesn't run through the events in his life in chronological order. It's more like the type of stories he would relate at a dinner party (although maybe a few of them would not be suitable for that setting!).
There are many funny anecdotes about his life contained in the book, and he comes across as quite a nice man and surprisingly down-to-earth considering much of his life has been lived as a celebrity. Being a Londoner myself, I also liked reading his childhood memories from the '60s/'70s which evoke a real feeling of nostalgia. For me, some of the humour in the book feels like he is trying too hard to be funny and can be a bit cringeworthy; but aside from that, I did enjoy it and it's a quick read. I would recommend it to any other JR fans.

[Diana · Rating 2 out of 5]

I've been a fan of Jonathan Ross ever since I saw him on BBC the first time. He's a really funny man, so how can I not? I decided to read this book because it would be fun - how could it not be when it's Jonathan Ross?
The problem is that even though it's really funny at times, it's just not enough. I was really bored most of the time and it just seemed to drag on. Of course there's some elements that I really liked.
I liked the moment where it was funny - where Jonathan Ross didn't try to be funny, but failed. And I liked that he was honest about everything, especially about the it-could-just-be-how-I-remember-it part.

But as I said, it was funny at time, but it really draged on and on and became quite boring after a short while. I'm not saying that he isn't funy or that his life isn't interesting, but it's really writtin in a boring kind of way.

[Rick · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was given to me for christmas and to be truthful is not one I would probably have gone out and bought. All that being said, it was a really good read.
It didn't actually come across so much as a life story, but more of a collection of ideas, experiences and many comical incidents that happened to 'wossy' through his, what has to be said, considerable carrear.
One quote I must say 'tickled my fancy' was Jonathan speaking about his younger days and the lack of funds available to him, and the need to prioritise his monies. He said "all my money at that time was going on punk gigs and marvel comics".

[Louise · Rating 4 out of 5]

I wasn’t a big fan of Jonathan Ross before I read this book, and was expecting him to come across as annoying, just as I found him on his chat show. However, I did really enjoy this book and didn’t find it annoying at all. It’s not an autobiography as such; instead it’s a book that covers a subject at a time from his weight over the years to his comic book interest. I actually loved this format and thought it made the book flow better. Altogether, a very enjoyable book I would recommend,

[Cocaine · Rating 3 out of 5]

Undoubtedly this book will be filed under autobiography for the simple fact that it needs classification when it goes onto library shelves. However, it is no such thing. This book is what we have come to expect from the infamous Jonathan Ross, being almost a copy of his famed chat shows in which he talks almost exclusively about himself. It is anecdotal not autobiographical. It is, like the show very funny, highly enjoyable while being an easy, light read. Just the thing for summer days!

[Jane · Rating 4 out of 5]

I don't quite understand why people here have given so many bad reviews on this book as I thought it was very funny. This was a nice quick read that was both honest and hilarious. Some of the goings on are downright bizarre much as you would expect from Jonathan Ross. It is also great to hear someone being so passionate about his greatest loves... his wife, his kids, his pets and Japan.

[Li Or · Rating 3 out of 5]

Befitting the title of this book, "no filter" comes to mind as Ross delves into stories of unspeakable things teenage boys do with hoovers and adventures in relieving yourself in unexpected places. But he does so in a likeable and funny way and offers an interesting glimpse into the mind and life of a self-confessed geek / punk youngster turned absolutely shameless TV celebrity. I liked it :)

[Sharon · Rating 4 out of 5]

Jonathan is so funny. Don't expect his life story, this is just a bunch of rambling thoughts, happenings and memories but it really is laugh out loud stuff. From cats hanging off his testicles to looking after a disabled chappy who wants a bit of assistance in the porn department - you are going to be laughing your head off.

[Richard Tubb · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you're a fan of Jonathan Ross (and I am) then you'll love the style this book is written in. I quite literally laughed out loud through almost every chapter filled with anecdotes and stories. I was sorry to put the book down - very funny indeed!

[Trev · Rating 2 out of 5]

OK. It passed the time, but I wouldn't search it out particularly. Large print and not many pages mean it's a quick read.

[Zigzig · Rating 4 out of 5]

Some good stories that entertain in the syle of the man himself

[Kevin Oram]

Really looking forward to this book.. have had it on my shelf for 2 months... i want to read it when I need poicking up and need to smile. Not there yet so it can stay in its wrapper.