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Solemate: Master the Art of Aloneness & Transform Your Life
In Solemate,Lauren Mackler provides a groundbreaking road map to help people achieve mastery of their lives. Drawing from her own experiences; those of her clients; and the fields of psychology, physiology, sociology, holistic healing, and strategic business practices, Mackler provides the practical information, tools, and exercises to show you how to be independent and stand on your own two feet. Mastering the art of aloneness is about becoming the person you were meant to be, treating yourself well, and shedding the old beliefs and behaviors that limit your ability to live a healthy, happy, secure, and satisfying life.Quizzes and guided journal writing help you identify the core limiting beliefs and fears that keep you from being whole and happy with yourself. Mackler teaches you to overcome these beliefs through deliberate living exercises that help align your actions with your desired results. She then helps you liberate your authentic self, so you know exactly who you are. Finally, she leads you through the process of creating a life vision to help you achieve any goal you set for yourself. Solemate is not about being it is about developing the self-awareness, life skills, and emotional intelligence needed to live a full, happy, successful, and financially secure life.
386 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2009
68 people are currently reading
302 people want to read
About the author
Lauren Mackler
11 books5 followersBestselling author Lauren Mackler is a renowned coach, keynote speaker, and host of the weekly Life Keys radio show on www.hayhouseradio.com. Over the past 25 years, she has been a psychotherapist, workshop facilitator, corporate consultant, and a leading authority in the areas of personal transformation, relationships, and professional performance. She is the author of the international bestseller, Solemate: Master the Art of Aloneness & Transform Your Life, and a fellow author of Speaking of Success with Jack Canfield, Stephen Covey, and Ken Blanchard. You can visit Lauren’s website at www.laurenmackler.com.
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Displaying 1 - 15 of 15 reviews
April 16, 2013
The entire book's point of view is the understanding that human beings are whole beings of themselves and that their interactions and relationships with others should enhance that. The book also eliminates the stigma that singledom is a problem to be fixed and uses guided exercises for helping the reader obtain personal happiness without the need of "another half".
I've read lots of self-help books, but this one isn't like most. The focus here isn't obtaining some value of success or happiness [usually the author's (or some western society's) definition of these things] or of attracting ideal partners. These goals are superficial and does not change the core being. The focus of this book is solely (pun!) on creating a healthy minded individual who is self-sufficient and achieving their own goals. It uses exercises to analyse the individuals past, to help the individual visualize qualities they wish to have, to identify the limiting barriers to obtain those qualities and to set goals and objectives to overcome them. The exercises and guides are well thought out and easy to follow and the ideas presented were not prescriptive as some other books I have read, but open guides.
I especially value this book for its points on living comfortably on one's own and erasing the stigma that singledom is a problem to be fixed. We, as a society, have become so obsessed with coupling that it nearly drives out lives. We view someone being single as someone to hook up, as a problem to be fixed. And if they say they are happy being single (which is rare, because we have brain washed most people into feeling inadequate and incomplete without a partner), we just shake our heads as if these people are in denial. I personally think that loving oneself and being able to be happy being alone is the first and most important step to building successful relationships (if you so chose to). Only this way can you build relationships that are not co-dependent.
I've read lots of self-help books, but this one isn't like most. The focus here isn't obtaining some value of success or happiness [usually the author's (or some western society's) definition of these things] or of attracting ideal partners. These goals are superficial and does not change the core being. The focus of this book is solely (pun!) on creating a healthy minded individual who is self-sufficient and achieving their own goals. It uses exercises to analyse the individuals past, to help the individual visualize qualities they wish to have, to identify the limiting barriers to obtain those qualities and to set goals and objectives to overcome them. The exercises and guides are well thought out and easy to follow and the ideas presented were not prescriptive as some other books I have read, but open guides.
I especially value this book for its points on living comfortably on one's own and erasing the stigma that singledom is a problem to be fixed. We, as a society, have become so obsessed with coupling that it nearly drives out lives. We view someone being single as someone to hook up, as a problem to be fixed. And if they say they are happy being single (which is rare, because we have brain washed most people into feeling inadequate and incomplete without a partner), we just shake our heads as if these people are in denial. I personally think that loving oneself and being able to be happy being alone is the first and most important step to building successful relationships (if you so chose to). Only this way can you build relationships that are not co-dependent.
January 7, 2011
A basic self-help guide with less of a focus on choosing to live without a partner than I would have liked. The slant seemed to be, "Learn to live with yourself so you'll be ready to share your life with someone else" and while that's great, I was hoping for more strategies for solitary living when you're not looking to find someone.
March 22, 2011
I LOVED this book. As I read, I found myself telling everyone to read this. I'd put off reading it because I thought it was just about being alone, but it is so much deeper than that. This book is about healing. I'd always known of the effect my childhood had on my relationships, but I'd never considered the effect it had on the jobs I've had and so much more. Lauren Mackler gets to the heart of the things that keep many of us stuck reliving times gone by, recreating painful events in our present. This book is effective in pointing out where we are stuck and how to move beyond that. I see this book being a reference for life. Get it.
February 17, 2013
I found this book a wonderful compliment to the already evolving life journey that I have began. Some pieces buried within the book may seem like common sense, but I often found that having a gentle reminder of the basics in life was beneficial. I believe this book is intended for a single person, but I read it while in a relationship and still found it to be empowering. I strongly recommend this for anyone to read, regardless of their sex or relationship status.
March 30, 2010
Good principles to follow - need to set a vision for your life and then set goals to achieve the vision. Be happy with yourself before you can be happy with someone else. Valuable advice - harder to live...
August 18, 2011
Actually read this book several months ago and loved it. One of the few books I add to my shelf after reading it. It's a self-help book teaching the art of making yourself your own Solemate, "Master the Art of Aloneness & Transform Your Life". Rereading it again.
August 24, 2011
If you have had a major life changing event this book is a must have...especially for the single mother.
February 6, 2022
This was a wonderful read. It opened my eyes in a way that was seamless and enlightening without being pushy. Though some examples were tough to relate to, I do still feel like there is enough thought provoking content to change a little of even the most cynical thought processes. Add it to your self-help shelf for sure!
August 1, 2017
Moving forward...
While many of these concepts I have known for years, having them re-explained in a concise manner with the added exercises in a season of significant personal change has been a true strengthening agent in my move forward. Thank you.
While many of these concepts I have known for years, having them re-explained in a concise manner with the added exercises in a season of significant personal change has been a true strengthening agent in my move forward. Thank you.
January 13, 2020
Loved this book
This book has been monumental after my recent breakup. I recommend it to anyone who is recently single or just wants to know themselves better!
This book has been monumental after my recent breakup. I recommend it to anyone who is recently single or just wants to know themselves better!
February 2, 2021
This book is not really what I was expecting, but there was some good information here nonetheless.
February 5, 2024
Much of this book highlights and pulls from other things I've already read, but I can't really blame the author for this! I think it's just an indication that I'm on the right path, and that the ideas espoused here align with my spiritual and philosophical outlook at the moment. I will make a point of doing the exercises she recommends, as I do think that some of them are quite valuable. I had a few insights that I hadn't previously had. Glad I read it, and will refer back to it frequently.
March 9, 2011
Thank goodness! I thought I would *never* finish this book! WAY too much journaling for me. I did get some good things - but it was a long, hard time getting to them.
August 29, 2014
Ok read. I'd given this book 3.5 stars.
Displaying 1 - 15 of 15 reviews