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Bill, the Galactic Hero #3
On the Planet of Bottled Brains
Bill should know that you never complain in the Troopers. But when his new foot looks like turning into something green, scaly and abundantly clawed, a visit to the medics would seem to be reasonable. But before he can say 'Quintiform computer error' he seems to have got himself volunteered again, this time for a suicide mission on Tsuris - the planet nobody ever comes back from. A number, exactly a billion in fact, of Tsurisians have no body at all to speak of, and reside in bottles, which as Bill remarks, is an awful lot of bottles. And Bill is going to need all the bottle he possesses to get himself out of this one... If you want to bravely probe where no one has ever probed before, then join Bill, Splock and Captain Dirk as once again our Galactic Hero investigates new depths in the realms of the science fiction cliche.
249 pages, Hardcover
First published May 1, 1990
9 people are currently reading
364 people want to read
About the author
Harry Harrison
1,291 books1,042 followersLibrarian Note: There is more than one author in the Goodreads database with this name.
Harry Harrison (born Henry Maxwell Dempsey) was an American science fiction author best known for his character the The Stainless Steel Rat and the novel Make Room! Make Room! (1966), the basis for the film Soylent Green (1973). He was also (with Brian W. Aldiss) co-president of the Birmingham Science Fiction Group.
Excerpted from Wikipedia.
Harry Harrison (born Henry Maxwell Dempsey) was an American science fiction author best known for his character the The Stainless Steel Rat and the novel Make Room! Make Room! (1966), the basis for the film Soylent Green (1973). He was also (with Brian W. Aldiss) co-president of the Birmingham Science Fiction Group.
Excerpted from Wikipedia.
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Displaying 1 - 26 of 26 reviews
March 2, 2023
"Now," said the computer, "your mission, should you choose to accept it—"
"And if we don't choose to accept it?" asked Bob.
There was an ominous silence.
"Course we accept it!" said Harry. "Incredible opportunity!" He nudged Bob in the ribs.
"Incredible," said Bob sullenly.
"Gentlemen, your enthusiasm is contagious," said the computer. "As I was saying, your mission. You are to write a witty, satirical science-fiction novel—"
"Witty!?" asked Bob.
"Satirical??!" asked Harry. "Who do you think we are, ChatGPT?"
"You are two distinguished science-fiction writers," said the computer impeturbably. "Your witty, satirical books are world-renowned. A task like this—"
"Yeah," said Bob, "but that was back in, y'know, the 60s."
There was another ominous silence.
"No problem!" interjected Harry. "I was just thinking, it could be a sequel to, I don't know, Bill the Galactic Hero—"
"Mindswap!" said Bob, not to be outdone.
"Both!" said Harry.
"That's more like it," said the computer.
"We'll satirize, uh, Star Trek!" said Harry. "We'll have characters called Captain Dirk and Splock!"
"No, no, Star Wars!" said Bob. "Characters called Ham Duo and Chewgumma!"
"Both!" said Harry.
"Any more inspirations, before you get down to work?" said the computer.
"Tits!" said Harry.
"I trust," said the computer in a scandalised voice, "that your witty, satirical novel will not contain sexism."
"Absolutely not," said Bob. "No sexism. Just tits."
"Oh," said the computer, sarcasm dripping from every syllable, "how I wish I were a human being, possessed of consciousness, emotions, and a creative impulse. But alas, I am but a soulless machine."
"And if we don't choose to accept it?" asked Bob.
There was an ominous silence.
"Course we accept it!" said Harry. "Incredible opportunity!" He nudged Bob in the ribs.
"Incredible," said Bob sullenly.
"Gentlemen, your enthusiasm is contagious," said the computer. "As I was saying, your mission. You are to write a witty, satirical science-fiction novel—"
"Witty!?" asked Bob.
"Satirical??!" asked Harry. "Who do you think we are, ChatGPT?"
"You are two distinguished science-fiction writers," said the computer impeturbably. "Your witty, satirical books are world-renowned. A task like this—"
"Yeah," said Bob, "but that was back in, y'know, the 60s."
There was another ominous silence.
"No problem!" interjected Harry. "I was just thinking, it could be a sequel to, I don't know, Bill the Galactic Hero—"
"Mindswap!" said Bob, not to be outdone.
"Both!" said Harry.
"That's more like it," said the computer.
"We'll satirize, uh, Star Trek!" said Harry. "We'll have characters called Captain Dirk and Splock!"
"No, no, Star Wars!" said Bob. "Characters called Ham Duo and Chewgumma!"
"Both!" said Harry.
"Any more inspirations, before you get down to work?" said the computer.
"Tits!" said Harry.
"I trust," said the computer in a scandalised voice, "that your witty, satirical novel will not contain sexism."
"Absolutely not," said Bob. "No sexism. Just tits."
"Oh," said the computer, sarcasm dripping from every syllable, "how I wish I were a human being, possessed of consciousness, emotions, and a creative impulse. But alas, I am but a soulless machine."
July 3, 2021
So. This is definitely a sign of its time. It's all light SF adventure harkening for the golden age but using it's comedy in the service of fan service. Trekkies are this book's fodder, this time.
That being said, I DID like the trekkie humor. Derivative, sure, but corny goodness usually is.
And then there are the bottled brains, matrix-like simulators, AIs, and body-hopping babes. (That is NOT what it sounds like. Really.)
Still, we get an interesting spread of action, space-opera, time-travel, and sometimes smirk-worthy scene-comedy. I wouldn't really recommend this to anyone except those who like period comedy. Fortunately, I grew up around this time, so it's a blast from the past.
That being said, I DID like the trekkie humor. Derivative, sure, but corny goodness usually is.
And then there are the bottled brains, matrix-like simulators, AIs, and body-hopping babes. (That is NOT what it sounds like. Really.)
Still, we get an interesting spread of action, space-opera, time-travel, and sometimes smirk-worthy scene-comedy. I wouldn't really recommend this to anyone except those who like period comedy. Fortunately, I grew up around this time, so it's a blast from the past.
April 25, 2021
6/10. Media de los 17 libros que he leído del autor : 7/10.
Ciencia ficción de humor exagerado donde Bill es una parodia de todos los héroes super-cachas que hayan podido existir.
Exagerado, esperpéntico, semi-absurdo, un humor bestia con el que no dejas de sonreir si te lo tomas tan a broma como lo ha hecho su autor al escribirlo.
Hay una serie de, creo, 7 libros pero son independientes, se pueden leer por separado. Este es el segundo de la saga y el comentario vale para todos ellos.
Yo empezaría a leerlo y si no te gusta este humor, pues lo dejas y en paz.
Ciencia ficción de humor exagerado donde Bill es una parodia de todos los héroes super-cachas que hayan podido existir.
Exagerado, esperpéntico, semi-absurdo, un humor bestia con el que no dejas de sonreir si te lo tomas tan a broma como lo ha hecho su autor al escribirlo.
Hay una serie de, creo, 7 libros pero son independientes, se pueden leer por separado. Este es el segundo de la saga y el comentario vale para todos ellos.
Yo empezaría a leerlo y si no te gusta este humor, pues lo dejas y en paz.
March 7, 2012
Why do I do this to myself?
January 2, 2024
What people often refer to as pulp and cheesy science fiction tends to be along the lines of Flash Gordon, Starship Troopers, Star Trek or anything airing on Syfy.
That is only because most don't even know about the existence of pulp as bland, nonsensical and purely indulgent as this.
A collage of ideas, either borrowed from other more famous authors or the kind of ideas that a good editor should have warned the writers about (oh yes, this book has more than one author!).
Unfunny humor, action with no tension, characters with no depth and a plot that goes basically nowhere.
What else can I say?
Go into the plot details? Even a summary of them would still be a waste of your time.
There's a lot of great science fiction out there, a lot of which I've read and even more of which I plan to read.
In retrospect, I should have gone and read some of those great sci-fi classics instead of trying my luck with this.
I suggest you do what I didn't and stay away from this mess of a book.
That is only because most don't even know about the existence of pulp as bland, nonsensical and purely indulgent as this.
A collage of ideas, either borrowed from other more famous authors or the kind of ideas that a good editor should have warned the writers about (oh yes, this book has more than one author!).
Unfunny humor, action with no tension, characters with no depth and a plot that goes basically nowhere.
What else can I say?
Go into the plot details? Even a summary of them would still be a waste of your time.
There's a lot of great science fiction out there, a lot of which I've read and even more of which I plan to read.
In retrospect, I should have gone and read some of those great sci-fi classics instead of trying my luck with this.
I suggest you do what I didn't and stay away from this mess of a book.
June 20, 2025
Bill is the perfect Starship Trooper. Very fast. Very strong. Not very bright. When he is volunteered for a one way mission, only Commander Dirk and Ham Duo can save him.
This loving mockery of 'Star Trek' and 'Star Wars' is funny and Sheckley really lets the jokes drive this plot.
This loving mockery of 'Star Trek' and 'Star Wars' is funny and Sheckley really lets the jokes drive this plot.
October 4, 2012
Great book, really funny I'm really impressed by this author.
So this is a spoof of the Starship Troopers book by Robert Heinlein, which I haven't read. And to my friend, David's chagrin, I haven't seen the movie either.
Judging by the stuff my Marine brother told me, its a pretty accurate, sardonic description of life in the military. One the first page, Bill gets a foot transplant. But as he's unraveling the bandage he discovers is an alligator's foot! Apparently those are cheaper. He gets volunteered for a mission by a sarcastic computer, on the way to get his foot fixed. The computer just decides to take him the the volunteer room instead. Of course, its suicide mission... thought up by some drunk, elderly Generals.
And really inventive. There's a lot of cool sci-fi ideas in here, from the first page on. Why isn't this author more famous? I got this tattered copy from the the library. It might be out of print. There's a whole Galactic Bill series, if you've read the Hitchhikers Guide series and wish there were more...you'll dig this book.
So this is a spoof of the Starship Troopers book by Robert Heinlein, which I haven't read. And to my friend, David's chagrin, I haven't seen the movie either.
Judging by the stuff my Marine brother told me, its a pretty accurate, sardonic description of life in the military. One the first page, Bill gets a foot transplant. But as he's unraveling the bandage he discovers is an alligator's foot! Apparently those are cheaper. He gets volunteered for a mission by a sarcastic computer, on the way to get his foot fixed. The computer just decides to take him the the volunteer room instead. Of course, its suicide mission... thought up by some drunk, elderly Generals.
And really inventive. There's a lot of cool sci-fi ideas in here, from the first page on. Why isn't this author more famous? I got this tattered copy from the the library. It might be out of print. There's a whole Galactic Bill series, if you've read the Hitchhikers Guide series and wish there were more...you'll dig this book.
June 15, 2013
Top marks for the craft in the words and spoof of assorted sci-fi stories, however the sheer breakneck pace from one ridiculous contrived situation to another just didn't engage. Read only for sake of completeness. Amazing wordsmith wasted on slapstick.
May 14, 2012
много свежа весела фантастика
пародирани са - омир, star wars, Star Trek и още...
пародирани са - омир, star wars, Star Trek и още...
March 8, 2020
I've got lost after two pages, then I've been lost every two sentences.
April 21, 2024
My selection for the Reddir r/Fantasy 2024 Bingo 'Alliterative Title' square (hard mode). 2-1/2 stars rounded up to three. The first one in the series is just called 'Bill the Galactic Hero'. It's satirical science fiction. It's also a parody of 'Starship Troopers' by Heinlein. According to the Wikipedia page, Terry Pratchett thought it was the funniest science book ever written. It's also supposed to be "the only book that's true about the military".
There are seven in the series. All featuring Bill. I read that first one in 2000. I must have enjoyed it as I read four more in the series in the same year. That just left this one and the final one. Almost a quarter century later, I found this one to be a complete mess. There are spoofs of Star Trek and Star Wars thrown in, but they didn't help much. The plot is all over the place. Younger me must have been a lot more forgiving (or I was in a completely different frame of mind in those days).
The final book in the series has the inauspicious title of 'The Final Incoherent Adventure' so that doesn't bode well. It almost make me wonder if the final ones were just written to fulfill contractual obligations. I tend to be a completionist, so if I come across it at a library book sale, i'll probably get it and read it.
(Other 2024 Bingo squares that this would fit: First in a Series (HM); Published in the 1990s; Space Opera).
There are seven in the series. All featuring Bill. I read that first one in 2000. I must have enjoyed it as I read four more in the series in the same year. That just left this one and the final one. Almost a quarter century later, I found this one to be a complete mess. There are spoofs of Star Trek and Star Wars thrown in, but they didn't help much. The plot is all over the place. Younger me must have been a lot more forgiving (or I was in a completely different frame of mind in those days).
The final book in the series has the inauspicious title of 'The Final Incoherent Adventure' so that doesn't bode well. It almost make me wonder if the final ones were just written to fulfill contractual obligations. I tend to be a completionist, so if I come across it at a library book sale, i'll probably get it and read it.
(Other 2024 Bingo squares that this would fit: First in a Series (HM); Published in the 1990s; Space Opera).
March 3, 2024
I liked the first book in the series more.
The "planet of bottled brains" is a world that has been both preventing visitors, but also uses clouds when attempts are made to view the surface from a distance. Those sent there in the past have never returned. When Bill complains about an army medical mistake, the army "volunteers" him for its next mission there. On the planet, he wakes up at a facility where his body is being prepared to be re-used for someone else's mind. This would usually mean his mind disappeared, but he is helped by another entity so that his next stop in the book's journey is being a subordinate mind in a computer.
From there, Bill struggles to be free of the computer, ends up encountering characters based on some from Star Trek and Star Wars, deals with a tiny military intelligence officer inside a robotic green lizard, ends up on other strange planets...
The "planet of bottled brains" is a world that has been both preventing visitors, but also uses clouds when attempts are made to view the surface from a distance. Those sent there in the past have never returned. When Bill complains about an army medical mistake, the army "volunteers" him for its next mission there. On the planet, he wakes up at a facility where his body is being prepared to be re-used for someone else's mind. This would usually mean his mind disappeared, but he is helped by another entity so that his next stop in the book's journey is being a subordinate mind in a computer.
From there, Bill struggles to be free of the computer, ends up encountering characters based on some from Star Trek and Star Wars, deals with a tiny military intelligence officer inside a robotic green lizard, ends up on other strange planets...
April 25, 2021
Honestamente, no lo entendi. Si, las situaciones son absurdas y son graciosas, pero no se entiende como se pasa de una situacion a otra, los motivos de algunos personajes se quedan en nada (especialmente Illyria). Tuve que mirar y remirar como si esta dentro de una computadora de repente tiene un cuerpo autonomo con el que va de excursion aventurera por el espacio y el tiempo. No, de verdad no entendi por que ni como pasan esas cosas y encima que tiene que ver TODO con el planeta de cerebros embotellados, quitando que ahi empezó todo y que Illyria sale de ahi.
En serio, lo acabe por acabarlo, pero no entendi nada.
En serio, lo acabe por acabarlo, pero no entendi nada.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
August 13, 2025
I don’t mind episodic books, but this is one is just TOO episodic. No singular setting or idea is stuck with and explored long enough to really stick. Makes for a somewhat frustrating read, especially if you put it down for a bit and come back to it, as it’s sorta tough to remember just what exactly Bill is supposed to be doing or going through now.
September 22, 2025
"Bill" novels are always plagued with the worst cover art, crap that would appeal to a 12-year-old boy, while that is by no means the target audience, especially of this one, co-authored by the great Robert Sheckley. 5 stars? Well, it really is a great satire, and it truly is funny, and while perhaps not sophisticated, it is also not for children.
May 6, 2017
A bit more entertaining than the first two volumes. This one has less obvious military antagonism mixed in a rapidly-moving plot. A mix of satiric references to other popular iconic SciFi characters adds to the fun.
August 6, 2022
Not as good as the original.
January 20, 2024
Un poco deslavazado en las tramas, pero me he reído.
September 14, 2024
More of the same.
June 27, 2016
Bill is orderteered into a secret diplomatic mission to a planet of doom. Brain freeze and crocodile foot ensues.
This book made no sense. It tried to be funny, but only in a poopy-joke kind of way. And it had about as much interest in plot integrity as an ADHD 10-year old on amphetamines.
So, as his body is being fattened up for absorption by the disembodied inhabitants of said planet, his mind is sucked into and enslaved by their global computer matrix, whereupon it is rescued by evil counter-universe impersonators of a certain famous starship who somehow managed to insert themselves into the its VR environment. And (while still inside, mind you) then travel into Earth's deep past to meet certain historical figures and try to stop a time-traveling alien who is attempting to meddle with Earth's history, but then he's forced to battle mythological creatures, falls in love with a body-possessing alien, is rescued again by a Han Solo/Chewbacca parody, is shot down by random aliens because of reasons, is put on trial for being shot down (again, reasons), rescued again (I think), this time by the real famous starship crew, winds up on some pleasure planet where his every physical whim is indulged, but then immediately connives to escape for some reason, impersonates a musician for some reason, is rescued again by the same brain eating computer from the beginning (which he's STILL inside of... I think), and forced to serve it again, until he convinces it otherwise, winds up with the same body-possessing alien who indulges in his every physical whim, except this time he's OK with it... Or something like that.
This book was exhausting and not in a fun way. I kept hoping that at the end it would reveal that it was all a mind f*ck put on by the computer because HE NEVER LEFT THE COMPUTER. But honestly, I think the authors forgot about that part.
I was disappointed that while the book made a big deal of his new crocodile foot, it largely forgot about his tusks and two right arms. I think part of the fun of meeting all these new people/creatures would have been seeing their reactions to his obvious physical issues. No luck.
Written by two authors, which was interesting because there are places where you can CLEARLY see when one was doing more writing than the other.
This book made no sense. It tried to be funny, but only in a poopy-joke kind of way. And it had about as much interest in plot integrity as an ADHD 10-year old on amphetamines.
So, as his body is being fattened up for absorption by the disembodied inhabitants of said planet, his mind is sucked into and enslaved by their global computer matrix, whereupon it is rescued by evil counter-universe impersonators of a certain famous starship who somehow managed to insert themselves into the its VR environment. And (while still inside, mind you) then travel into Earth's deep past to meet certain historical figures and try to stop a time-traveling alien who is attempting to meddle with Earth's history, but then he's forced to battle mythological creatures, falls in love with a body-possessing alien, is rescued again by a Han Solo/Chewbacca parody, is shot down by random aliens because of reasons, is put on trial for being shot down (again, reasons), rescued again (I think), this time by the real famous starship crew, winds up on some pleasure planet where his every physical whim is indulged, but then immediately connives to escape for some reason, impersonates a musician for some reason, is rescued again by the same brain eating computer from the beginning (which he's STILL inside of... I think), and forced to serve it again, until he convinces it otherwise, winds up with the same body-possessing alien who indulges in his every physical whim, except this time he's OK with it... Or something like that.
This book was exhausting and not in a fun way. I kept hoping that at the end it would reveal that it was all a mind f*ck put on by the computer because HE NEVER LEFT THE COMPUTER. But honestly, I think the authors forgot about that part.
I was disappointed that while the book made a big deal of his new crocodile foot, it largely forgot about his tusks and two right arms. I think part of the fun of meeting all these new people/creatures would have been seeing their reactions to his obvious physical issues. No luck.
Written by two authors, which was interesting because there are places where you can CLEARLY see when one was doing more writing than the other.
July 8, 2021
Siendo la segunda vez que leo ésta secuela, sigue siendo bastante trivial para lo que se espera de una comedia de aventuras hilarante. Demasiado larga para las pocas partes realmente graciosas y divertidas.
October 6, 2014
Кефя се на Бил, Галактическия Герой, както и на Хари Харисън като писател, но това беше най-лошата книга от поредицата, която едвам издържах до края.
September 21, 2015
Първата ми книга от този автор и честно казано нямам никакво желание да повторя.
April 29, 2016
Thus begins the rest of the series, and isn't actually written by Harry Harrison.
September 23, 2012
really difficult to read ( spend almost 1 month to finish it
April 13, 2017
Когато вземете Хари Харисън, Робърт Шекли, откровена гавра с Star Wars и Star Trek и го смесите на едно място, ще получите или нещо страхотно, или пълна боза. За жалост, в случая се е получило второто...
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