I Do/I Don't: Queers on Marriage

by Greg Wharton

Everyone has an opinion, most of which aren't heard in the national media s echo chamber. Especially those from within the sprawling L(esbian)/G(ay)/B(isexual)/ T(ransgender)/I(ntersex)/Q(ueer) community. Some consider this a fight for equality. Some see it as the wrong fight. Many are anxiously waiting a chance to wed. Many others find the idea absurd. I Do/I Don't collects a diverse array of queer voices on the subject of marriage. Stars and ordinary Janes. Saints and sinners. Anarchists and poets. Journalists and dreamers. Personal essays, fiction, poetry, nonfiction, vows, rants, love letters, and sermons. Silly to serious. In favor and against. Yay and nay, in between, neither, and D) all of the above. All valid. All from inside the community.

Genres: Queer, Nonfiction, Essays, LGBT, Anthologies

Hardcover

First published September 17, 2004

Reviews

[Pat · Rating 3 out of 5]

i was glad to read about queers and marriage in a way that didn't scream "hooray! acceptance! reform! tolerance!" though of course a lot of the writers do just that. i say, yes to those who really want to get married, and let the rest of us navigate our own non-institutionalized ways of sharing the bonds of love.

it was comforting to read the unabashed opinions of radical queers, since i got the book from a book club offered through the advocate magazine (free subscription, why not? good for collage-making).

in conclusion, may that neofascist, old-timey, hateful marriage amendment be shut down in november (mn and others)!

[Jonah · Rating 4 out of 5]

It is very interesting to read this book 10 years after it was published, just after same sex marriage was legalized in Illinois (my state) to almost no public reaction.

This anthology contained pieces that were very short to short, and it was written by a LOT of people, including probably a hundred people I hadn't heard of and a dozen that I had. Some of the pieces were really eye opening and engaging, some were fun, some were not. But since they were all short it was all good. A small number of pieces contained lines I find highly offensive... but after I had read the whole book I thought I understood why they were included, to wit, to avoid leaving out perspectives. There're a lot of them here.

The bad part of this book is that put together it's almost 400 pages so I get 300 pages in and feel like I should be done with it by now.

[Tamlynem · Rating 3 out of 5]

Pretty schizophrenic view of perspectives. After taking a step back from reading the whole volume (and with it being six years later) I think the editors did a pretty good job of taking on all viewpoints. I especially learned a lot from the anti-assimilationist writers. I don't necessarily agree with them, but they definitely made me think about the issue of gay marriage--all marriage--from a different angle.

[Ed · Rating 3 out of 5]

a very diverse collection of writings in terms of political perspective and style. the text is so small!

[Ryan Helton · Rating 2 out of 5]

Bought it at my school's bookfair. I'll let you know.

[Zev · Rating 4 out of 5]

Three and a half rounded up to four stars. My own thoughts on marriage have changed a lot due to various factors since I was a teenager, and I was curious about what other queers thought. This book concerns events and attitudes in 2004. Picking up this book was an absolute delight. What a neat cover! The opinions in this book varied widely, as did the methods of expression. There was poetry, short stories, letters, transcribed speeches and interviews, directions for Wiccan handfasting rituals (Christopher Penczak) and regular essays. The introduction noted it was sorted alphabetically. Some straight people had stuff in here but it was rare and for good reason: support, logic, no gay bashing. The opinions were presented in a balanced way, with no real majority opinions. Everyone made good points, and I put a few bookmarks in my copy so I could think on certain ones. I'm so glad I read this. I learned a lot. It was written twenty years ago, but enough entries seem current