Gentlemen Prefer Succubi

Succubus Diaries #1

by Jill Myles

Who Knew An Angel Could Get A Girl In So Much Devilish Trouble?

Jackie Brighton woke up in a Dumpster this morning, and her day has only gotten weirder. Her familiar B-cups have somehow become double Ds, her sex drive is insatiable, and apparently she had her first one-night stand ever... with a fallen angel. All she remembers is gorgeous Noah's oddly hypnotic blue eyes... and then a dark stranger whose bite transformed her into an immortal siren with a sexy itch. With help from Noah, Jackie begins to adapt to her new lifestyle; until she accidentally sends Noah into the deadly clutches of the vampire queen and lands herself in a fierce battle for an ancient halo with the queen's wickedly hot right-hand man. Who just happens to be the vampire who originally bit her. How's a girl supposed to save the world when the enemy's so hard to resist?

Genres: Paranormal, Paranormal Romance, Romance, Vampires, Angels, Urban Fantasy, Fantasy

329 pages, Mass Market Paperback

First published January 1, 2009

About the author

JILL MYLES writes as Jessica Clare and Jessica Sims.

A NOTE ABOUT FRIENDING: I will happily friend you back if you friend me! Goodreads is, after all, about discussing books we both love. I will NEVER self-promote my books to you. And if you self-promote your books to me, no matter how nicely, I'm deleting you off my list. Sorry. Goodreads is about fun, not spam.

A NOTE ABOUT MY REVIEWS: Hey, look at that! Most of my reviews are really positive! This is not me kissing ass - It's because at heart, I am a lazy reader. If I'm not enjoying a book, I don't finish it. I don't review anything I didn't finish, ergo, most of the reviews I put up here are pretty much positive across the board because I finished them and was happy with the story. Makes sense, right?

Reviews

[Kat Kennedy · Rating 1 out of 5]

I'm about to type the six words that I almost never say: I. Could. Have. Written. It. Better.

I've read a lot of crap books, but I don't think I've ever used these words in a review before. Maybe because I've never, ever had such a strong compulsion to literally pick up a book and start rewriting it.

The thing is, the idea is FANTASTIC (By fantastic I mean sexy as hell and full of schmexing possibilities) and yet, it's such a let down. I can almost imagine some editor person sitting Jill Myles down and their conversation would go something like this:

Editor: Jill, you have to write this idea! It's fantastic! You'll be a rich and famous author!
Jill Myles: Fantastic! I'm getting right on this! Nothing is going to hold me back! I shall spread my little typing wings and soar!
Editor: Before you go, I should warn you - the only way you'll fail is if you make the female protagonist so agonizingly stupid that your readers will ache to bore a rusty screwdriver through their skull to make a hole through which they can pour bleach.
Jill Myles: *Too busy imagining swimming through a pool of money to listen* Annoying, stupid protagonist...sure... whatever...bye!

IF ONLY SHE'D LISTENED!

Okay, so the story starts out with fat, frumpy, Museum Docant, Jackie waking up in a dumpster. She's had a helluva one night stand and upon disentangling herself with what can only be assumed as a traumatized dumpters, she runs into the very man she'd had wild, passionate sex with, Noah.

She is then told that she had literally been a dead lay (bwhahahaha!) and that because she was bitten by a vampire, and had slept with a fallen angel, she would now be a succubus.

Calling him a crazy loon shortly after drooling over his shoulder length blond hair, toned abs and GINORMOUS Johnson, she stalks out.

By the next morning she's lost a ton of weight, become beautiful and grown an incredible pair of bossoms. It's at about this time, I deduce, that the energy going into creating the Tits of Glory caused her brain to shrink, whither and die away.

She immediately sets out to find Noah for explanations, has sex with him in a church and departs with his darling Succubus friend, Remy. One of the first things they tell her is not to meet up with any vampires (in case one of them is her master), don't make any deals with Angels and avoid fallen angels as well.

So naturally she runs off within five minutes and makes a deal with the first angel she meets and wonders why everyone doesn't think this is the biggest stroke of genius since Thomas Edison invented a Ghost Busting machine. So AGAINST the EXPRESS orders of her Master Fallen Angel, she and the other "Suck" head off to super sleuth the vampires and find out what they're up to so that Jackie can be free.

Now, let me give you a frame of reference for how bad their sleuthing is. In 1960 French diplomat, Bernard Bouriscot went to China. The Chinese, not being completely stupid, assigned a spy to him. He began a relationship with Shi Pei Pu who he divulged every single state secret to as soon as he could. Just before he was about to leave the country, Shi Pei Pu who recognized how incredibly gullible and useful he was for her career, informed him that she was pregnant. Four years later he returned to greet his child and lived with Shi Pei Pu and his "son" for the next sixteen or so years.

Now, I know that doesn't sound precisely riveting or spy like, after all, it's only twenty odd years of living a lie as a spy, gathering all the secret documents you like from a man who is just incredibly unobservant. Well, that's until you learn that Shi Pei Pu was really a man. Yes. A man. Bouriscot did not discover this until he took his happy family back to his homeland of France where he was immediately told something along the lines of, "Dude... that chic's a dude..."

Go ahead. Wiki that shit. It's all true!

So whilst I'm not holding Jackie & Co up to Shi Pei Pu's remarkable standard (No doubt his twenty year reign of Employee Spy of the Month was unchallenged and well deserved) I was kind of expecting a better plan than: walk into a club full of vampires, completely unprotected and get busted so quickly as spies that they were barely in the doors before one of the halfwits mumbled, "Der... do you think this is such a good idea?"

But it's okay for Jackie because she is not at all alone in the stupidity stakes. She has a contender in the form of the Vampire Queen who immediately reveals her ENTIRE plan to Jackie and insists that Jackie now needs to go find the mysterious relic that the Queen is seeking.

Sure. You've had your entire vampire crew searching for this one historical item for HOW LONG NOW? And you think some twit whose idea of a clever plan is "On the cound of three... Go!" will do better? Clearly SOMEONE has never read Peter's Evil Overlord List

Oh, and the relic that Jackie has to retrieve, actually BELONGS to the Vampire Queen and is in exactly the last place the Queen left it, by the way. And the Queen even shows up at a convenient time to provide Jackie with instructions on how to retrieve it.

SUUUUUUuuuuuuuurrrrrreeee...

I can totally see how this woman has ruled for over four millenia. She's a criminal mastermind, that one!

Now this seemed to be part of the book where Jackie, whose dream it is to be an archeaologist, should have really shined. She's going to an achealogical site, IN EGYPT, and doing all kinds of history shit. Clearly, this would be right up her alley. Yet Jackie approaches it will all the finesse of a college bimbo coaxing a free bear out of a fratboy at a party. She knows nothing about anything and any hopes I had of reading a story about a mature, intelligent twenty-six year old woman swiftly blew out the window.

I could go on. Really. I could complain all day. From the "mystery" involving her vampire master to the fact that an archaelogist who supposedly has several degrees is so ridiculously incompetent in every single area of life, including intellectual pursuits that I want to barf, to the fact that she somehow demands that she shouldn't HAVE to pick between two lovers, and that it's really the mature thing for them to both get over expecting any kind of monogamy out of someone they, unfathomly, honestly care about. How about Jackie's unexplainable anger toward Remy for being a Porn star? Why? Why does she feel betrayed that the woman she just met, who is a succubus, is a porn star?

I put this challenge out. Using every single plot point (Ie, Jackie goes here, Jackie meets this person, Jackie does this... etc) and the main themes, theory and concept behind this book, I could have done so much better. Except for the sex scenes - those were the only reason I finished reading this book because... *fans self* okay, they were hot.

So if you're going to read, check your brain out at the door and just enjoy the smutfest that dances past, scantily clad and overly bussomed. That's about all this book has to offer.

**BTW at their final size, Jackie's boobs are measured as 34DD. This is apparently huge and has every man in the vicinity writing love Haiku's to her Tits of Glory. I'm sorry, but I actually HAVE 34DD and a hot ass body - yet no men have ever flocked around my breasts like mosquitos to a bug zapper! Fail!

***Okay, I can now no longer complain that no poems have ever been written about my breasts. Manny has kindly posted his brilliant sonnet to my "girls" here! Enjoy!

[Helen 2.0]

DNF at 45%

I hated the heroine so much. She was pitched as a nerdy, quiet museum docent whose life gets turned upside down when she's turned into a succubus against her will.

What we get is a slut-shaming, fat-shaming mean girl who's as dumb as she is useless. I wanted to smack her the entire time I was reading. She makes ridiculously stupid decisions, it takes her literal days to come to the most obvious conclusions, and she constantly endangers others with her dumbass actions.

“And you’re a size six, I’d say.”
“Uh, you meant to put a one in front of that number, didn’t you?” Okay, so I was closer to a 14, but I could border into unfriendly territory during certain times of the month.

A size fourteen??!?!?!?! God forbid!! Oh no!! Won't someone put her out of her fat misery!!! What the hell is this body-shaming bullshit??

A fallen angel and another succubus take her in and guide her through her new world. Instead of being grateful for this, she does everything they tell her not to do and insults them for trying to help her.

There's even a scene in which she finds out that the other succubus, Remy, works as a porn star. Which is actually quite a smart way for her to stay consistently well fed while making good money. For whatever reason the FMC gets incredibly offended about this and expects Remy to apologize to her for being a sex worker. Fuck ALL the way off with your misogyny.

“Where do you get the nerve?” I began with that and immediately felt proud. It was a good start to standing up for myself.
“Nerve for what?” She looked genuinely puzzled.
“You’re a porn star! How could you not tell me? Did you think I wouldn’t notice?”

How good for her that she's "standing up for herself" after this woman personally attacked her by... being a porn star. Wow. It's not even possible to roll my eyes hard enough at this fuckery.

I was also really uncomfortable with the mechanics of the succubus magic, specifically that it's stated that a succubus "can't be raped" because her magic will induce her to enjoy the rape.

"They could tackle us, drag us into an alley, and have their way with us, and you’re flirting with them!”
Remy eyed the two men in a decidedly lascivious fashion. “It might suck, but it wouldn’t be rape. You’d be willing after about one second.”

Ew. No. Enjoyment does not equal consent. Wtf.

[Jill Myles]

Um, I clicked on random crap to see how goodreads works and accidentally reviewed myself! Bad author, bad! So I am giving it no stars, because I hope that's the same as a non-rating, and hope no one else notices my douchebaggery.

Sorry. :)

[Sophia Triad · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was mostly laughing out loud while I was reading it!

Such a feel good story, funny with interesting characters.
Jackie remind me a little bit of Bridget Jones and a little bit of Joan Wilder from Romancing The Stone. She is a goofy, plain Jane. Until she meets the right/wrong man/men who transforms her into a wild woman and her true personality starts to shine.

Unfortunately Zane is not only a bad influence. He is also a vampire, a sarcastic untrustworthy male. And he definitely has a secret agenda.

Noah on the other hand, he really tries to help. He is a Serim and one of the good protective guys. Or perhaps not.

The story is not menage. It seems to be a love triangle - although all three characters are important for the action and I am not sure if Jackie should choose just one.

I loved the adventure at Egypt.
I loved insatiable and totally crazy Remy.

I have three questions so far:
1. Why Jackie was chosen to be transformed into a succumbus?
2. Why Jackie had to be connected with Noah and have him as her second master?
3. What is the background story of Zane and Noah?

[Shawna · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 stars – Paranormal/Urban Fantasy Romance

This is a deliciously sexy, fun debut read in the new Succubus Diaries series about angels and vampires and a reluctant succubus caught in the middle of their ancient battle.

Jackie Brighton’s quiet, mundane life as an introverted museum docent gets turned upside down when she wakes up one morning in a dumpster with a massive hangover and only fuzzy memories of how she got there. She has vague flashes of having her first ever one-night stand with a man so hot that he puts Brad Pitt to shame (but mostly only recalls his...ahem...porn star quality package). Things get a lot weirder when she encounters her mystery hottie, Noah Gideon, whose version of the post-coital brush-off is rather strange because apparently he’s a fallen angel, she was bitten by a vampire, and now she’s a sex-crazed succubus...riiight. But when she goes from a size fourteen, 34B to a size six, 34DD overnight and suddenly has guys drooling over her and an insatiable lust that just won’t quit, Jackie realizes that Noah’s nutty claim might not be so crazy after all.

Jackie has hunkalicious fallen angel Noah to scratch her ‘Itch’ when needed and new gal pal Remy Summore to teach her the succubus ropes, so maybe life as an immortal sexpot won’t be so bad after all? But it doesn’t take long before she lands in hot water with malevolent vampire queen Nitocris, who assigns wickedly sexy, tempting bad-boy vampire Zane as Jackie’s personal guardian, finds herself smack in the middle of an end-of-the-world type battle between angels, fallen angels, and vampires over an ancient halo, and then life as a ‘Suck’ truly does start to suck.

Jackie’s abrupt transformation from a plain, mousy, museum nerd to a self-conscious bombshell, sex kitten is rather funny, and her fellow succubus and new BFF Remy, who has learned to embrace and celebrate her inner slut, is a total hoot. Remy flat-out cracked me up, and she’s the kind of friend you’d want to go shopping and out for margaritas with.

Jackie’s got two potential lovers: fallen angel Noah, who’s the straight-laced, protective, savior type, and black leather trench coat wearing James Dean-esque bad-boy vampire Zane, who might be hiding something behind his flirtatious, carefree demeanor and seeming indifference, but how’s a horny succubus supposed to choose?

Gentlemen Prefer Succubi is a devilishly entertaining, sexy romp with lots of wicked hot love scenes and sarcastic, naughty humor. It’s a total smutastic (and I mean that in the best way), decadent treat that will have you laughing one minute and fanning yourself the next. My only (minor) complaint is that although it’s marketed as a paranormal romance, no official “I love you’s” are declared and it has a “happy for now” ending rather than a true HEA, so it’s closer to an urban fantasy romance in that regard. I’m looking forward to the next book, Succubi Like It Hot, which fortunately comes out later this month! 4 stars!

[Desperado · Rating 2 out of 5]

My Thoughts:

Quick recap: Jackie Brighton is a 27-year-old docent working at a museum. One night she gets super drunk & wakes up two days later in a dumpster. Turns out she's been turned into a Succubus. Succubi are made when an angel has sex with a human & a vampire bites the same human. Both become the human-turned-succubi's master & can control what the human does. Jackie becomes reaquainted with the angel who helped turn her & her completely idiotic adventures begin.

I've been looking forward to trying out this series for awhile. Richelle Mead about broke my heart when she went over to the darkside with her Georgina Kincaid series & I was looking for something to fill in the void.

Jackie is one of the most dumbass heroines I have EVER come across. She spends the entire book either whinning, crying, sobbing, whimpering or screaming. It seems like the best way to get her to do something is to tell her not to do it. Jackie gets herself into very preventable situations & proceeds to run around crying "what did I do wrong?" & then getting pissed when no one has sympathy for her self-imposed problems. I spent the majority of the book wanting to wring her freaking neck & put her out of my, the world's, the angels & vampires, & her own misery. I also did not like how much she put herself down. Jackie constantly talked about how fat she was (at size 12? 13?) & how no one wanted to have sex with her before she became a Succubus. Why did people start wanting to have sex with her after she turned? Because apparently when your turned into a Succubus, your whole body changes into that of a busty bombshell. And your eyes turn blue when your in need of a "fix". I understand that Myles may have been trying to turn on the giggles when creating her character, but it didn't work for me. There is not a goddamn thing funny to me about a whinny, moronic heroine who talks shit about herself. At all.

As for Jackie's two love interests, they didn't do much for me either. Noah, her first love interest, is the angel who helped turn her. He had almost zero personality which is a disappointment since I like angels in PNR. I never quite understood Jackie's loyalty to him when all he seemed to do was have put his angel loving inside her & use his master tricks to make her do things she didn't want to. Zane, Jackie's other love interest, is the vampire who helped turn her. I DID like him. He was funny, charismatic, & sexy as hells even if Myles did use that god awful "Tall, Dark & Handsome" cliche to describe him. He was the one that saved this novel from getting a one star rating.

Overall, I did not enjoy this novel nearly as much as I wanted to. If I wanted to read about a whimpering idiot with no backbone & even less self-preservation, I'd flip on Lifetime & watch "Mother, May I Sleep With Danger?" Epic fail.

[Emily May · Rating 3 out of 5]

If anyone tells you that this book is urban fantasy and/or paranormal romance - take it with a pinch a salt, I mean it: this book is really just chick lit with some background folklore/mythology thrown in there. But I'm not complaining. I really liked this novel, a lot more than I thought I would seeing as I inevitably made comparisons to Richelle Mead's Succubus series, and they did actually share a lot in common. Both series have likeable, witty and strong-willed heroines, they both have smut and they're both written in a fun, easy-to-read style. This is far from the darker side of UF novels, most of the book is about friendships, hot men, sex, insecurities and suffering through everyday life (but this time as a succubus) - like I said before, basically chick lit.

It starts off in a dumpster (which I believe is the American word for some kind of large bin/skip) with our protagonist pulling noodles out of her hair, she has little recollection of the night before except that she remembers at some point being with a really hot, well-endowed (of course) man (Noah). Well, her life just gets crazier from there. The light-heartedness of the novel was actually a relief, it's not an angst-ridden serious book and the background mythology only served to complement the story. If you're a hardcore UF fan, maybe this isn't for you, I'm not sure... so many of the popular UF/PR series got lost on me after a while: Black Dagger Brotherhood, Lords of the Underworld, Chicagoland Vampires, etc. This book immediately struck me as different and I've finally found myself really wanting to read book 2, Succubi Like It Hot.

And I liked the men of this novel. True, we can see the cliched love triangle on it's way with our heroine stuck between mr good guy and mr bad boy, but I'm kind of looking forward to it for a change. I thought Noah was hot for the first part of the novel... and then we met Zane. Zane is dangerous, arrogant, conceited and selfish... so naturally, I find him attractive (why, yes, I am the perfect example of the stereotypical can't-resist-a-bad-boy). I hope the author doesn't work to redeem him, I quite like the way he his.

So yeah, this book had pretty much most things I want in a novel, I'm looking forward to book 2.

[Mandi · Rating 3 out of 5]

I have been following debut author Jill Myles for some time on Twitter and was very excited to read her book that starts The Succubus Diaries series. She has created a really fun world with vampires and angels, lots of smut and funny lines.

After a night of drunken, slutty, lovemaking with a stranger, Jackie Brighton wakes up in dumpster. She was so drunk, she doesn’t remember how she got in the dumpster, but the homeless man in the alley informs her a tall, dark haired man dropped her in there – two days ago. The homeless man swears she was dead. Jackie thinks the homeless man is a little cuckoo – she may have been drunk, but she remembers the mind blowing sex with a blond haired man and she doesn’t believe the man when he says she has been in there for two days. As she leaves the alley, she just happens to run into Mr. smexy blond hair man himself, Noah Gideon. Noah takes one look at her with spaghetti noodles stuck in her hair, and convinces her to eat lunch with him.

Noah is all flirty games, until Jackie mentions that she remembers getting bit – by Mr. dark haired man. Noah pales at this and fills Jackie in on what probably happened. Jackie was first bit by a vampire – Mr. dark hair, aka Zane, who left her in a very desirable mood. She then was put into Noah’s path, and it was time for him to feed. Serim, or fallen angels feed by having sex. Voila – Jackie the succubus was “born.” She now has two masters – a vampire, Zane and an angel, Noah. Oh, and she needs lots of sex….lots. Noah takes care of her “itch,” but when she gets in trouble with her newbie lack of knowledge and makes a deal with Uriel, an angel – a deal to retrieve a long-ago forgotten halo, things start to go downhill. The vampire queen, Nitocris, wants the halo too and sends Zane out with Jackie to retrieve it. With her new pal and co-succubi, Remy, Jackie must search for a hidden halo and figure out which of her masters she can trust.

Gentlemen Prefer Succubi is a book I liked, although I didn’t always like Jackie and this is really the only thing that bothered me throughout the book. It is hard to pinpoint exactly why, but maybe it is because we don’t really get to know a lot about her. What has her past been like? There is no mention of friends and family, which is convenient when a mortal becomes immortal and undergoes a change of appearance. Isn’t anyone out there wondering where she is? Now, her change is quite amusing. Her breasts become huge, and her dealing with that at the beginning had me chuckling. Her size fourteen becomes a six, and all of a sudden, guys are drooling all over the city. What we see of Jackie in the book is a formally nerdy girl who is now a sex kitten. She definitely has the potential to be a heroine I like – she has that silly vibe going and she makes me laugh. I just want to get to know her a little better before I call her my BFF.

Two men come into her life – Noah and Zane. Noah, the fallen angel, is her steady rock. He is there for all her needs, and I could take him or leave him. He plays the more gentlemen role and a little more boring in my opinion. I should like him, he is the knight in shining armor, and there is definitely more of him to come in future books so maybe my opinion will change. Then there is Zane, the bad boy vampire – he is under the queen’s command, yet Jackie knows deep down there is an undercurrent of emotions he is too scared to share. He is the character you root for and he is the one that made the book for me at the end. He has dark hair and eyes and that sarcastic, nonchalant attitude that makes you want to slap him and then make dirty love to him for hours (or is that just me?).

Jackie is a succubus that doesn’t like to use people for sex although her body demands it every couple days. With the nature of these characters, you get a very steamy book and I don’t think a succubus would be disappointed reading the sex scenes Jill Myles wrote. They are very detailed and very naughty – can we say sex in a church, in the confessional? At some points it was kind of hard to take in the steamy sex scenes when the rest of the book is so light-hearted but by the end of the book they started to meld together better.

I honestly did not know how the ending would play out and nothing is wrapped up neat and tidy. Although decisions are made, Jackie’s new life is no where near figured out.

Gentlemen Prefer Succubi is a fun start to a new series and I am so glad we only have to wait a few weeks for Succubi Like It Hot!

Rating: 3 1/2 Stars

[Ezi Chinny · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really liked this book. It had humor, good story and likable characters.
Jackie Brighton kind of reminded me of Bridget Jones. She had a good heart but kept making decisions that made situations worse. It was hilarious. I couldn't decide between Noah and Zane as her companion, but I know I will continue this series.

[Annie · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 STARS!!!

View at Under the Covers

I’m not quite sure what rating to give this book. I really, really liked it so I’m bouncing around 4.5 stars to a perfect 5 stars! What I loved about Gentlemen Prefer Succubi was that it was a fun, upbeat book that had a very interesting take on succubi, vampires and angels. I was completely sucked into the world that Myles had created. There is enough mythology behind her world that makes it intriguing and yet not too overbearing with its details. It was interesting to read about how the succubi fit into the world of angels and vampires. Ms. Myles did a really great job with her storyline!

Another great thing about this book is Jackie and her POV. She was fun, smart and sexy, the perfect but also reluctant succubus. I loved that she still valued life even after her change and kept her morals intact. Her narrative was to die for! There are some comments that made me laugh out loud. Ms. Myles creates the perfect blend of humor, never once making this book seem like you were wearing a joke book. Her timing with her jokes was spot-on and I found this to be a very enjoyable and light read!

There is also Remy who became one of my favourite succubi! She was playful and seductive and her chemistry with Jackie was amazing! I found that I enjoyed reading about all her characters in this series.

And then there is Noah and Zane. Both are so vastly different from one another and yet, I managed to love them both! Noah is a sweetheart who, from the very beginning, I adored! But then Zane came along and, although I was sceptical of him at first, I learned to enjoy reading about his slyness and seductive nature. Both are great characters and I cannot wait to read what happens next!

[Laurie Garrison · Rating 3 out of 5]

***2 1/2 stars***


The good points for me. Its funny, has a great story line, hot sex, to me the book doesn’t really get good until you met Zane , but then of course, you end up finding out he started the whole thing grr.., I liked Noah but, I never got to really know Noah in depth as a character. I liked the queen the best you get a little on her background to know more why she is like she is..

Bad points for me. Jackie was on my last nerve and again I never got to really know Jackie’s character in depth being this series is going to be about her. I think she gives Remy down the road for nothing, all Remy does it try to help. There is no closure at the end you don’t know who she ends up with in other words NO, HEA!!
(happy ever after)

I agree with others this book is more on the lines of Urban Fantasy..

My biggest reason for the 2 ½ star is the book says Paranormal romance but, I never read the romance there was sex but, I found no romance between either guy..

[Katie(babs) · Rating 3 out of 5]

Poor Jackie Brighton is having a bad morning. After an amazing one night stand with a too die for hot stranger, Jackie awakens in a dumpster in some back alley. She can’t remember how she got there and the night in question is a big drunken sex blur. Her memories start coming back to her where she remembers images of all the lusty lovemaking she engaged in with her “Blue –Eyed Blond Casanova” she met at the hotel bar. She remembers his name is Noah and after having one too many martinis, she became lost in his eyes, smile and overall package, or as Jackie states- his dick. If only Jackie hadn’t been passed over for the job promotion at the New City Wyoming Museum of Art. Perhaps then she wouldn’t be in this predicament, which grows even stranger by the moment when she finds out from a homeless guy that her blue eyed sex god wasn’t the one to throw her in the dumpster, but a different guy all together who is described as black-haired, tall and wearing a nice coat.

Jackie retraces her steps because she has lost two days. She spots her one-night stand and confronts him even though she would love nothing more then to jump him. Noah is just as shocked as Jackie because he thought she cut out after their passionate night together. Noah helps Jackie figure out what’s going on because he seems to genuinely care about her. As she pulls the pieces together from her fuzzy mind, she’ll be in for a bigger shock because she is now dead and has turned into a succubus. Noah comes clean and admits he’s a fallen angel, a Serim. Not only did Jackie make a big blunder by sleeping with Noah, but before they met, she was attacked and bitten by a vampire. By mixing the two and having a vampire take her blood and then having a sex with a Serim has caused her change. Now Jackie has two masters who can control her- Noah and her anonymous vampire.

Not only does Jackie have to find her vampire master, but as a succubus she now has an itch for sex and more sex. She has a ravenous appetite and Noah can only go so far in lending a helping hand. But Jackie’s amorous needs are just one of the many problems to come her way. The former pudgy, four eyed plain Jane has become a sex goddess with massive boobs, incredible hair and a killer bod that make men salivate. She can also eat anything she wants and won’t gain a pound. This may seem to be a woman’s ultimate fantasy but for Jackie it’s a nightmare. All she wants is her old life back but as her itch consumes her, she must learn to take control. Along with Remy, another succubus who works as a part time porn star, as well as Noah, they will teach her the ropes of succubus living. Things go from bad to worse and because Jackie is much like a toddler learning to walk, she makes a major goof and makes a deal with another fallen angel, Uriel, who can help her control her itch, if only she will find out information regarding the evil vampire queen who has plans to take over the world. Now she must find a dead angel’s halo for Nitocris the vampire queen or Noah will be killed, which may end Jackie’s life. Plus, Jackie has to put up with Zane, the vampire servant of Nitocris who gets on her nerves and taunts her with his dark smoldering looks and promise of incredible sex. She, Zane and Remy will travel all over the world to locate this powerful halo before all is lost.

Gentlemen Prefer Succubi (Book 1, The Succubus Diaries) will have you in stitches from the non-stop shocks and laughs as Jackie tries to come to terms with her new lifestyle. Jill Myles pushes the envelope in ways I didn’t expect and I’m not just talking about the hanging from the chandelier type sex scenes but the dialogue and reactions Jackie has. Jackie thinks of sex every second of the day, which makes sense because she is raging nympho due to her succubus tendencies. But, she has her morals and beliefs intact and knows better than to give into a possible Roman type orgy lifestyle that her new friend Remy relishes in. The way Jackie reacts may be a bit too naive and some of her actions tend to venture into the TSTL territory, but I guess I would do he same thing if I changed into a succubus.

As for the sexual tension and lust Jackie must contend with, that is where Jill shines with her writing. I love the blunt nature of it all. She writes hot smoldering sex scenes and when Zane comes into the picture, watch out ladies, because he’s dark, mysterious and sex on a stick. Readers will be torn between Noah and Zane and who is the best one Jackie should be with. Also the mystery regarding Zane and why he is so important should be a big spoiler but apparently not so much, which I was surprised by from reading the synopsis on the back of the book. I would’ve thought this would be kept under warps until the end because if you know upfront who Zane is, it really takes away from the story. The fun is figuring out the character of Zane.

I did have a fun time reading Gentlemen Prefer Succubi even though I had difficulty in reading the first few chapters. I found things didn’t flow as I would have preferred and had some personal issues with the way Jill wrote descriptions and pieces of information. I had to re-read a few times to get a good grasp on the action because it was a case of telling and not showing. This writing technique occurs at certain times in the story, which took some of my enjoyment away. But the fact of the matter is I had a grand old time reading, especially when Jackie opened her mouth and the most outlandish things would come out. Plus, Jackie’s view of the world is a combination of innocence and snark, which I found endearing.

Even though I did have some problems with the overall writing, Gentlemen Prefer Succubi is a rip-roaring fun time with loopy characters, a heroine I sympathized and laughed with and more than enough sex to steam up the pages.

[Mariya · Rating 4 out of 5]

Reading GENTLEMEN PREFER SUCCUBI reminded me how I absolutely love humorous paranormal romance books. GENTLEMEN PREFER SUCCUBI was very romantic, funny and just a real fun read.

Geeky Jackie our heroine of the story gets turned into a succubus without her consent and she is trying to still live a normal live without changing anything, except for one problem...Her whole appearance has changed. She is even more sexier than before and all the men are noticing and want a piece of her. I liked Jackie. She is very normal and geeky and there were times I thought she was really dumb, but she is still adjusting to becoming a succubus and I think she's doing a great job adjusting.

Then Zane leaned in and kissed my mouth. “I won’t make you do anything you don’t want to do, Jackie. Ever. Remember that.”

There are two men in Jackie's life. Noah and Zane. Noah is the sexy angel, though I don't quite think he is as hot as Zane. He is okay compared to the drop dead gorgeous vampire, Zane. I felt that Zane really cared about Jackie a lot and would do anything for her. Who doesn't love a naughty little bad boy who also has this sweet and kind side to him. It makes us fan girls swoon!

I guess now all Jackie has to do is make a decision though her decision kind of through me. But hey! A girl has to look out for her needs, right? It will be quite interesting to see how things with the guys turn out. GENTLEMEN PREFER SUCCUBI was quite a fun and exciting read and I look forward to the next book.


More of my reviews at Mystifying Paranormal Reviews

[Caty · Rating 2 out of 5]

Agggg!
I'm too pissed off! This book was a wreck since the begining, but it had its moments, so all the time I was thinking Hm... this is silly and chauvinistic and plain stupid, but surely something coherent is about to happen and the book will turn out to be a good one.
Guess what? It wasn't.

There are just too many things wrong with this book, the heroin is a dumb, formely fat and ugly museum docent without an onze of self-esteem or an inch of depth whose only achievement in the story was to become a succubus against her will; fortunately she also came out as a gorgeous huge breasted redhead, and off course, that makes everything all right.

Then there's angel boy, who only appears whenever our dumb heroin needs someone to bone her. We never get to know nothing about him, but he must be the good guy, after all the author said he was, and besides, he's an angel, right?

Then there's vamp boy, who is supposed to be a bad guy (cause seriously he's a vamp) but isn't a bad guy after all an happens to have feelings and apparently a touch of morals. Who knew?
Then there's the mistery, which if you are just a tad smarter than our dumb as f**k heroine, you'll be resolving by page 12.

There are no significative dialogues, the humor is shallow and the secondary characters are even less appealing than the leading ones.

So why did I bothered to finish this? Hell if I know, but if I were you I'd stay away from it.

[DarkHeart "Vehngeance" · Rating 4 out of 5]

An entertaining read with likable characters. It will be interesting to see how things develop in the next book after the events that concluded this one. My only negative critique would be that I think it may have relied a bit too heavily on the sexual aspects to drive the story along. I appreciate that she's a succubus, but pretty much every conversation and thought all came back to sex. Maybe it will change with future books when Jackie is more comfortable with her new incarnation.

The combination of the combined masters of a seraphim and a vampire was quite interesting and brought us two very nice immortals to care for Jackie and providing an interesting set-up that leaves the succubi balancing between good and evil. The series has a lot of potential and I will definitely be buying the next installment.

[Carolyn F. · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very funny, romantic book. I enjoyed this book a lot and fell a little in love with the guy on the cover. I wonder if he's interested in 48 year old middle aged rolly polly ladies. I'd read a chapter and then look at the cover and then read a chapter and then look at the cover. I LOVE THIS BOOK!!!!

[Sara Kate · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved this! Such a fun read, good characters and story. Looking fwd to reading the rest of this series.

[D.L. · Rating 3 out of 5]

I had really been looking forward to getting around to this series, maybe because of the hype, maybe because succubi aren't that commonly used, but probably because I love the covers. I won't discredit a book for a bad cover, but I will pick up a book for a good one :)

Unfortunately, with all those high expectations for the book, it was really easy to disappoint me. I didn't necessarily dislike it and I did enjoy reading it. I think the main problem was that I felt like it had an idea with so much potential and then didn't go anywhere with it.

Stuff that got on my nerves:

1. Why were the succubi so powerless?! Jackie and Remy have absolutely no power in this book- even when it comes to seduction. They need to have sex or they will stave, so they are slaves to their desires. Ok, I get that. It's a cool twist to the whole succubi thing, but aren't succubi supposed to be able to control the desires of others? Instead, Remy and Jackie are physically desirable (not that they have any control over that). Their bodies have been transformed into the image of the ultimate male fantasy- which apparently is a size six with 32DD. Oh, and the thing that almost made me stop reading all together? They can't be raped because their hormones would kick in and they'd want it. Can I even say on how many levels that is disturbing and wrong?

2. The action/adventure was fairly lame. I ended up skimming over it.

3. I think Jackie got on a lot of people's nerves because she kept doing stupid stuff over... and over... and over... except it wasn't her fault! No one ever bothered to tell her anything, so of course she didn't know and would go make a fool of herself, and then everyone would stand around laughing going "oh silly young succubus". So... I guess Jackie doing stupid things was something that didn't get on my nerves...

Things I liked:

Despite the many things I didn't like, there were things I liked about this book:

1. The sex. Myles can write a good sex scene, that's for sure. And the sexual tension was good too. I almost wish the book had let go and been a bit more sex-focused. After all, it is about succubi, and the action/adventure needed work anyway.

2. Noah and Zane. I loved both heroes (kinda like Jackie hehe). I don't think I could pick one as a favorite. They both have some really excellent scenes in this book, though Zane gets much more page time and more is revealed about his emotions, etc. I really wish more time had been spent developing them in this book, but this book was clearly about Jackie's beginning as a succubus.

So tallying all that up I'm rating Gentlemen Prefer Succubi 2.5 out of 5. Not great, but just enough of a pull that I'll stick around for book two.

(Also posted on my blog, The Romance Girl’s Guide to Fiction )

[Jill · Rating 5 out of 5]

I received Gentlemen Prefer Succubi as part of Pocket Books Science Fiction Blog Tour. This is the first book by Jill Myles in a series about Jackie Brighton. Jackie is such a fun character and reminded me of other characters from series that I enjoy reading. She had some characteristics of Queen Betsey in MaryJanice Davidson’s Undead series, some of Rachel Morgan from Kim Harrison’s witch series and even some of Stephanie Plum from Janet Evanovich’s number series. She was likeable, sarcastic, and a fish out of water who keeps ending up in situations beyond her understanding or control.

What attracted me to this book was the fallen angel idea. This fall I read Hush, Hush by Becca Fitzpatrick which also features a fallen angel and I was interested to see another authors take on the idea. I can’t recall ever reading about succubi before and wasn’t sure what that meant. The succubi part of the novel made it racier than what I usually read. This might not be a book for everyone, I know I have friends who don’t care for books with too much passion. I took it to read at my daughters ballet class and was actually embarrassed at one point hoping no one was looking over my shoulder at it. That said a lot of it was just sexual tension which really added to the novel. In the authors letter she thanks many people and then comments that she plans to go to her parents house and rip out all the sex scenes. A lot of them are clustered at the beginning of the book and part of me wondered what would be left if she removed them all, but then I saw that there was just a lot of it at the beginning but not so much later on.

Jackie meets a vampire when she is out at a bar who drains a lot of her blood and then leaves her where a fallen angel hangs out. The combination of the loss of blood and being intimate with the serim (or fallen angel) changes her into a succubi. As a succubi she has a very appealing figure, wonderful hair, and is beautiful and attractive to all men. She can eat whatever she wants and doesn’t need to sleep anymore. Plus she is now immortal. On the downside, she needs to have sex every other day. Especially in January when so many of us have made new year’s resolutions I am sure many people have wondered how much they would be willing to trade to be thin and beautiful, to have the perfect figure and live forever, and tempting as that train of thought is, I’m not sure we would trade it with some of the other factors involved.

I am used to thinking about angels as being all good, but can anyone, even someone who should be divine, be all good? Does desire to sin go to all beings or just humans?

While I found both of Jackie’s love interests to be alluring, I have to admit that I found a favorite and it wasn’t who I thought it would be. Zane grabbed my heart in this novel! I am so glad that I had an introduction to this author. The beginning of her next novel is included in the back and I have already added it to my TBR list!

[Dulcy · Rating 4 out of 5]

To get in the mood for this book, it's best to imagine yourself as a 27 year old size 14 woman with B-cup breasts who works as a docent*. Now, see yourself waking up in a dumpster, 8 sizes smaller, 3 cup sizes bigger, with a rabbit on crack sex drive.

Oh, not to mention you're now undead, immortal and a succubus, with one vampire master and one angel master who you must answer to. Slight problem with that however. You don't know your fanged "father" and are seriously trying to ditch your winged one night stand. Sounds like a pretty crappy day doesn't it?

Fortunately Jacqueline "Jackie" Brighton is doing her best to deal with it all in stride.

This book is very good and insanely funny. It's definitely right for an escape between the pages or a break from any serious situation. Not to mention, addictive as hell, I read it all in one night and now can't wait to get my hands on the sequel, Succubi Like It Hot.

In this world we have 3 main supernatural veins. Angels, also known as dealers (give you a good deal, but end up screwing you over). The Serim, gorgeous fallen angels, who need a fix of the carnal variety every month. Lastly there's the enticing, yet kinky vampires who need blood about every two days. Turns out Succubi are the best of the Serim/vampire world. They need sex like Serim, but must have it every 2 days in order to sustain themselves, like vampire's blood lust. Though this is just the tip of the odd abilities iceberg, there are plenty more special gifts and limitations in Jill Myles new world.

Honestly there's almost nothing I can fault about this book, it's just plain good fun. Jackie does go with the flow a tiny bit too much, diving head first into a very strange new world. Then again, when an evil, bitchy vampire queen orders you to find a a magically delicious halo after you've been caught spying in her club for an angel you stupidly got in debt to, it might be better to stop understanding, just absorb.

Gotta say though, Jackie puts on her big girl panties very well, tackling each crisis with a minimal amount of whining and belly aching. Then again, she has a 400 year old succubi friend, Remy, with a bossy attitude and steel backbone to help her out. A rigid yet completely sexy Serim master named Noah and a pain in the ass spy of the queen named Zane who just happens to turn Jackie's bones to mush.

Really can't say anymore than it is a fantastic, fun book that every romance book junkie should read. Not to mention the sex is mind blowing, well written, and frequent. Be sure to pick it up next time you go to the store, you won't be sorry!

Docent*- Museum tour guide

(Only people I wouldn't recommend this book to are ones with a more conservative attitude, have a problem with incorrect history/religious aspects, or don't like non-monogamous relationships. )

[Kelly · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wasn't planning on reading this book today. I have other books that are burning a hole in my e-reader. Several of them, in fact. Then I popped on over to Pocket After Dark and saw that this was one of the free reads this month. Hmm, I thought to myself, this is a series I've been meaning to take a look at! Now's the perfect time.

A few hours and a couple cups of coffee later (and quite a few potty breaks due to all that coffee, come to think of it) and I had finished the book. I couldn't stop reading it. It hit all those awesome little kinks that make my heart go pitter patter. I couldn't stop reading it. Seriously. I was planning on drawing it out and slitting between the several books I have queued up and I couldn't. I.Couldn't.

Let's go through the list, shall we: Dead sexy fallen angel? Check. Wickedly sexy vampire with a soft spot for our heroine? Check. Heroine who has to have huge quantities of sex to satisfy this nebulous craving inside her? Check. Heroine somehow still manages to maintain a touch of innocence about her despite having the sex drive of a fiend? Check. Okay, that last one was not exactly a kink, I just enjoyed it.

Seriously, though, I could hardly believe how much I enjoyed this book. It was ridiculously fun. It even made me laugh out loud a time or two. While I was in my room. Alone. It was just awesome like that!

So, yeah. I totally recommend this book. Totally. Absolutely. Because everyone needs to dream about an angel/vampire sandwich. Yum.

-Kelly @ Reading the Paranormal

[Vanessa theJeepDiva · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is definitely urban fantasy & not paranormal romance. Also as a reader you may want to know that there is not a happily ever after. The book has a slow start on the hotness. Our Suck, Jackie is not in to meaningless sex. The dilemma is that as a succubus she MUST have sex ever couple of days. This is fine for her new friend Remy; she has a job in the porn industry. Jackie has decided to rely on her one known master Noah. Midway through the book we are introduced to her UBER hot other master Zane. This book is loaded with tons of hot sex & 2 very hot men. The book also has plenty of exciting action & a plot that totally works with all the hot sex.

[MISS VAIN · Rating 4 out of 5]

Her lipstick was all over his face, and she had a cat-licked-the-cream smile on your lips, her eyes bleached silver. "You have no shame, do you," I said.
"None whatsoever," she replied, wiping the corners of her mouth with a manicured fingertip. "Doesn't do a lick of good in this line of work."

I enjoyed this book from start to finish. It was a quick and easy read. Now that once geeky Jackie has now been turned into a Succubus against her will, she tries to keep all her ties to humanity including her geeky job, morals and hideous clothes but fails miserably thanks to her new morally corrupt best friend and fellow Succubus/Porn Star Remy. Remy is fun and vivacious and really knows how to be a true slut and for that she definitely made the story so much more enjoyable. Jackie is really sweet and unfortunately her upstanding morals and values almost become hazardess to her Succubus health but luckily she succumbs to her new immortal and immoral lifestyle. ;)

Then there's Noah (a fallen angel) and Zane (a fallen angel/vampire) are equally enticing to Jackie who easily entangles herself in an exciting love triangle. Noah is angelic and she has some heroic worship relation with him as if he's her savior. That was a bit odd, but considering her character had only had one previous relationship in her 28 years I could see how she would confuse sex in a "church confessional" as a new valuable male long term relationship. Don't get me wrong, I'd pretend to be virginal if that's what Noah wanted as well because his sex scenes left little room for my imagination ;) They were hot.



Oh and since I'm so addicted to fictional bad boys I'm going to have to throw panties in the ring for Zane because he
was delicious! Who am I kidding? Either man will do He's a naughty boy with a little sweet side to him saved only for Jackie ;) These scenes as well were hot; he was dominating, passionate, jealous, and possessive. I loved it as well as their sexual tension filled banter.


He grinned at me like a mischievous little boy. "Charmed it. I'm an expert at charming, wouldn't you say?"
Blood throbbed through in a heady rush, and my knees went weak. I understood how the poor snake felt. Forcing myself to pry his fingers from my heated skin, I moved away. "You're not as charming as you'd like to think."
"No?" He slid his hands around my waist. "That sounds like a challenge to me." " Give it your best shot" I scoffed. "I'm sweaty and I smell like camel. If you want to try to seduce me now, bring it......"



So now all Jackie has to do is just decide between one of these gorgeous men right?! They're both enticingly lustworthy; except her choice is ridiculous and although it sounds like a "match made in heaven" it seems this decision is going to come back to bite her (literally) in the next book. I disagree with her decision, but all I can say is thank you Mrs. Myles because you have made for a steamy and drama filled love triangle between Jackie and these two hypnotic males. ;)



This book was so fun to read as long as you go into it knowing that your reading a fun book about a Succubus with a sexual "itch" that needs to be scratched every eight hours or so whose also on mission that takes her across the world seeking an object desired by both Heaven and Hell with another Succubus and a vampire in tow then you'll love it;-)





This book was fun, sexy, and carefree!

Like what you see here, check out more of my reviews at http://missvainsparanormalfantasy.com/

[Melindeeloo · Rating 4 out of 5]

Heroine Jackie, takes a bit to warm up to, but still I found myself amused by the funny first entry in Myle's Succubus Diaries. Newbie Succubus Jackie's life has nowhere to go but up after rising from the dead in a dumpster! Turns out that while on a drunken bender the size 14 spectacled museum docent picked up two men - one fanged and one fallen - and now she doesn't need to sleep, looks like a pornstar and has a whole new set of dietary needs - ones that involve scratching a certain 'Itch' every two days.

The story starts out a bit slow while Myle's introduces her mythos and cast, and Jackie's inablity to reign in her sassy mouth and the ignorance of the supernatural world which lands her in a whole lot of trouble is slightly irksome at first, but as the book gets going there was a lot that was fun and funny about Gentlemen Prefer Succubi. I got a kick out of Jackie's succubus mentor, Remy, who has a life that keeps her needs met while bringing in a pile of cash - Remy's well adjusted but not a great asset as a teacher. And bits where Jackie has to pass off a vampire who's firmly entrenched in daysleep as her narcoleptic hubby is chuckle worthy.

And to add spice to Jackie's new life, she's got two gorgeous guys - one blond and angelic and the other dark and vampiric - willing to keep her 'well feed'. And even though these guys aren't both super well fleshed out, they were likeable enough that I am willing to read the next book to get to know them better.

Gentlemen Prefer Succubi is paranormal fantasy and not paranormal romance and the series looks to follow Jackie as she puts her own spin on being a succubus. There is some steamy stuff, but not as much as you might expect from a heroine who needs sex to survive and if you are looking for a single-hero-happily-ever-after it doesn't really look like that's going to happen - a girl's got to eat after all. But still I liked Gentlemen Prefer Succubi and look forward to Succubi Like it Hot and more of Jackie and her angel, vampire and succubi cohorts.

[Benita Vehnom Ruiz · Rating 5 out of 5]

OMG one word ZANE!!!! I'm so loving this series right now!!! We meet interesting Character Jackie our Heroine, Remy her Best Friend and another Succubus, Noah the sexy fallen Angel who ends up being Jackie master, and Zane the sexy Vamp.

Gentlemen Prefers Succubi is the first book in the Succubus Diaries series and it is amazing. I love the world that Jill Myles created. Jackie is a museum docent, who after too many drinks wakes up in a dumpster with no idea of how she got there. Used to being the loner, that men would not usually hit on,Jackie has to get used to the idea of being a Succubus and having a new life!!! I would Highly Recommend this book to anyone who love a little comedy with their romance!! On to the next book in the series, Succubi Like It Hot

Fav Quote
"Let me get this straight. You've just told me that I was bitten by a vampire, had sex with an angel, then I died, but I've risen again as a succubus. And you've wondering why I don't beive you?"

[Stacy · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved this book. It was a great new take on paranormal romance. I thought the reluctant succubus (Jackie) was smart and quick witted. She started out as an every woman and became what many of us want to be, a hot, desirable gal who can eat anything she wants and not gain weight.
The love triangle that forms in this book doesn't make me feel sorry for Jackie, but envious! Ha! The sex scenes are hot and there is a ton of sexual tension.
I think Myles "knocked it out of the park" with this book and I am so excited with the follow up book.
I even went by the local bookstore to see if they may have put out "Succubi Like it Hot" early by mistake. Hey, there mistake would have been my gain!

[Cindyg · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this story about a girl who went out one night by herself to have a few drinks, get a little drunk and woke up in a dumpster. Wow has her life been turned inside out, now as a succubus she has to learn the ropes with a little help from a fallen angel, a vamp and a succubus. This book has a lot of humor which was a pleasant surprise. It also made me sympathize with her situation, she has know idea how to live in her new and improved body or what she is really capable of. The story moved along at a great pace, there's action and heat. I really liked it and am going to start the next book in the series, Succubi Like It Hot...Highly Recommend.

[Debbie "Buried in Her TBR Pile" · Rating 3 out of 5]

Light and sometimes funny read. I'm not sure this one is for me. I'm not into series anymore that have the h trying to choose between 2 different guys. I liked Jackie, Zane and Noah. I was a fan of another long series (still going) in which the female bounty hunter is on/off with a Jersey cop and another bounty hunter - this on/off has been in almost 20 books. It gets old - just decide already! I don't think my nerves or tolerance can stand another series in which a decision is not made. 2.5 rounded stars.

[Samantha Mullins · Rating 5 out of 5]

I haven't read many books about succubus's but this one, was a great one to read. It wasn't exactly light, but it was an easy read. It was funny, and romantic in some areas, and the fact that you have a fallen angel and a vampire pining for you, double yum. This was an exciting book, and I'm glad for this being a series, and I can't wait to dive into the next book.

[Isis · Rating 5 out of 5]

I so thoroughly enjoyed this book as I read it! All the characters were fantastic, and I loved the rivalry between Noah and Zane. (No, I can't choose a favorite between them.)

I am definitely going to enjoy reading the next book in this series!

And actually, I give Gentlemen Prefer Succubi 4.5 stars, but unfortunately that isn't an option on this site.