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When Pigs Fly

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Bob Sanchez hits all the right notes in this zany comedy that will keep you turning the pages-and laughing out loud! Leslie Meier, author of The Lucy Stone Mystery Series.Retired cop Mack Durgin used to bust perpetrators in Massachusetts, but now he's widowed and living in Arizona. When a FedEx driver drops off an urn filled with his friend's ashes at his front door, Mack reluctantly knows he must fulfill George Ashe's final to have his remains spread over the Grand Canyon. But Mack has no clue what lies hidden within the urn besides his friend's ashes.On his journey through the desert, Mack meets the entrancing Calliope Vrattos, a former waitress in a bar that holds Elvis impersonation contests. Diet Cola is an ex-con who loves greasy food, but more than anything else, he desperately wants what he hid in the urn. Cola hooks up with a pair of loony housebreakers, a bald Elvis impersonator, and a dope head with an outline of his brain tattooed on his skull. With a bit of luck and a lot of junk food, they trace Mack to the little town of Pincushion, Arizona. George Ashe may not be alive, but his remains are having the adventure of a lifetime.As Mack encounters one crazed character after another in his quest to fulfill his friend's last wish, he realizes that life is a gamble and that pigs really do fly.

307 pages, Paperback

First published July 1, 2006

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439 people want to read

About the author

Bob Sanchez

9 books46 followers
Technical writer and editor for 20 years. Won a national award of excellence from the Society for Technical Communication. Wrote five novels, published the three worth publishing, and working on two more. Served as president of Mesilla Valley Writers and the El Paso Writers' League. Editor of the Internet Review of Books. Write regular book reviews and fiction. Happily married and living in New Mexico.

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5 stars
113 (27%)
4 stars
121 (29%)
3 stars
110 (26%)
2 stars
49 (11%)
1 star
20 (4%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 63 reviews
Profile Image for Cynthia Harrison.
Author 22 books60 followers
January 14, 2012
Finished a fast, fun read newly available on Kindle. My blog buddy Bob Sanchez has a few books out, and although I enjoy his travel posts and pictures, I had not gotten around to reading his novels because they weren’t available on Kindle.

The minute When Pigs Fly got Kindled, I bought it, read it, and loved following the high-jinks of an inept gang of thieves in the fast-paced, action-packed, verbally astute mode of Elmore Leonard and Carl Hiaasen.

Not everybody’s a bad guy. The titular pig’s pretty cool, and Mack, the protagonist, is a retired cop, grieving for his wife of thirty years, in an extended trip in the southwest. When his folks send his best friend’s ashes to be distributed wherever Mack thinks best, he decides on the Grand Canyon, not realizing the urn holds more than ashes, or that he’ll have company on his journey.

Diet Cola is a smelly ugly brute who, before heading off to serve time, tucks an item of value into the urn while robbing Mack’s folks. He figures on retrieving it when he gets out of the slammer, and when he returns to find it gone, terrorizes the old folks into telling him where it went.

Diet Cola then heads southwest toward Mack, picking up a freak show of lowlifes that include an Elvis impersonator and assorted other goofballs with specialized skills but not much common sense. How these people end up in the desert together for a final showdown displays Sanchez’s plotting skills. He gets ‘em there with plenty of style and a pace that never lags.

My reading tastes don’t usually tend toward the underbelly of society, but Sanchez’s idiot crooks and loose women made me laugh. Diet Cola is cruel enough to give readers the creeps and a sweet love story adds hope to Mack’s crusade to let his wife go, scatter his friend’s ashes, and save his parents from a homicidal maniac.

All that and a flying pig dressed like Elvis who gets his own happy ending makes for a smoothly snappy summer read.
Profile Image for Stephen Tremp.
Author 6 books130 followers
March 16, 2012
When Pigs Fly is a fast-paced, character-driven book. The antagonist, not-so-hard-boiled Mack Durgin, is a retired Massachusetts cop who just wants to spread his best friend’s ashes over the Grand Canyon. But there is more to this urn than Mack realizes.

Bob Sanchez wove together an eclectic group of characters that engaged and entertained the reader on a mad-cap ride across the country in search of a lottery ticket mixed in with the ashes in the urn. The antagonist, Dietrich Kohl aka Diet Coke, a combination of all the worse traits of all the worse people I’ve ever met, often steals the spotlight. I developed a love-hate relationship with the character; I love to hate him. A couple of bungling small-time burglars named Ace and Frosty, a dopehead, and a really bad Elvis impersonator round out the group of bad guys. Bob even penned a couple chapters from the javalina, or wild pig’s perspective. Awesome! Along the way Mack has to protect his newly found lady friend and parents from this alliance of off-beat crooks while keeping himself alive.

This was a fun read and one I recommend. I give When Pigs Fly a very beefy (or should that be porky) four stars.
Profile Image for Gae-Lynn Woods.
Author 7 books23 followers
May 2, 2012
WHEN PIGS FLY had me snorting with laughter! All ex-detective Mack Durgin wants is to give his former partner George a dignified ending by spreading his ashes over the Grand Canyon. But a violently devious criminal called Diet Cola wants the valuables hidden in George's urn, and he and his collection of misfit bad guys keep interrupting Mack's mission!

Mr. Sanchez has created a unique cast of characters - from Mack's dotty mother Brodie and doting father Carrick, to the bumbling thieves Ace and Frosty, a bad Elvis impersonator, and the terribly tattooed Zippy. He even gives pride of place to a docile javelina named Poindexter who foils an attempted murder!

The dialog is witty, the characters well-drawn, the plot a hysterical series of mishaps. Nicely done, Mr. Sanchez. I'll look forward to reading more of your work!
Profile Image for Jeanette.
300 reviews
February 7, 2012
OMG! I laughed so much while reading this book...it was great! A combination of family drama, inept criminals, romance, lost souls, wild pigs and Arizona all rolled into one magical carpet ride.
Profile Image for Christy.
Author 27 books64 followers
August 6, 2016
Dietrich Kohl, who calls himself Diet Cola, thinks he has the winning ticket for the lottery, but he’s scheduled to go into the pen for the next little while so breaks into the home of Brody and Carrick Durgin and hides the winning ticket in a vase on their mantle. The vase is actually an urn containing the ashes of the partner and friend of their son Mack Durgin, a retired cop who has relocated to Arizona. The Durgins send the urn to Mack, who carries it with him while he decides what to do with the ashes and along the way meets up with Calliope Vrattos, who’s on her way to California, trying to escape an overzealous Elvis impersonator whose jaw she broke. When Diet Cola gets out of prison, he breaks into the Durgins’ home only to learn the urn is now in Arizona. During the bus ride to Arizona, Diet Cola hooks up with Frosty and Ace, two dim-witted shoplifters who know Mack and are just dumb enough to think they can get in on whatever Diet Cola’s after. Once there, they pair up with the Elvis impersonator stalking Calliope who has planted a GPS on her car. Into the fray steps Zippy, a druggie with a shaved head toting a zipper tattoo, who thinks Mack’s having an affair with his girlfriend. And one can’t forget Poindexter, the javelina, who’s been set free in the desert and misses eating brussel sprouts and TV time with his owner yet manages to lumber his way into the lottery ticket caper.

Bob Sanchez provides his reader with one hilarious romp, rapidly firing scenes so over the top and humorous, the reader is constantly smiling or laughing. Sanchez even offers the javelina’s point of view on occasion, raising the comedic bar even more. Think Elmore Leonard meets Carl Hiaasen, which makes for a fun, enjoyable read.
Profile Image for Nessie Q..
Author 2 books27 followers
January 31, 2012
I started reading this book yesterday and only finished it today. That only means one thing.. that I had to force myself to read through the next chapters just to get it over with.

Don't get me wrong. The book initially had so much potential. The story is good. But there's something about the author's writing style that bothered me so much. It's as if he keeps on changing his mind in the middle of what would have been a great scene. Like he's holding back or something. It could be that he didn't want to put in so much violence in the book since it's supposed to be a comedy.

I commend him though for the twists even I wasn't able to foresee. Plus points too for the hilarious stuff like Elvis the "pig"/ javelina.

This book is a good read if you want to take it easy. However, for serious readers who are so into the suspense stuff, this book is a gamble.
Profile Image for Lori.
194 reviews
July 31, 2025
This one got off to a slow start. A lot of characters and confusing details. Hard to pick out the point of view at first. The writing style is hard to follow.

But get through the first couple of chapters and you find a humorous, hard to believe, make you smile read. Just when you think something else crazy couldn’t happen … it does. An Elvis impersonator, a wild boar, an ex cop, his parents, lots of ex cons looking for a lost lottery ticket lead to a funny ride through the desert.
280 reviews2 followers
May 26, 2021
Inept criminals, obsessive ex and a retired cop make for an entertaining story. What can you expect from characters named Zippy, Elvis and Diet Cola? The love story is sweet and you can't help but root for the couple as they develop their relationship in some pretty strange circumstances.
2 reviews1 follower
June 25, 2023
But the pig never flew

A great cast of characters. Terrific way with wording. Ending was predictable, of course, but the journey getting there was laugh out loud entertaining. Would recommend this book to anyone who believes in not taking life, or themselves, too seriously,.
Profile Image for Jennifer.
557 reviews2 followers
December 31, 2020
A comedy of incompetent criminals, pretty well done; it would make a great Tarantino film. Thoroughly enjoyed it, and would recommend.
1 review
August 8, 2025
Funny and quirkie

Read this three times. A unique cast of characters. Feel good book, but very unconventional. I reccommend this book to any one with a sense of humor.
Profile Image for Mary Simonsen.
Author 46 books181 followers
July 30, 2012
After retiring from the Lowell, Massachusetts police force, Mack Durgin has moved to Pincushion, Arizona, where he is leading a shapeless and boring existence, largely due to the loss of Mary, his wife of 30 years. Meanwhile back in Massachusetts, Diet Cola, a dangerous ex-con, goes looking for a winning lottery ticket that lay hidden in an urn containing the ashes of George Ashe, a former colleague of Mack's. During Diet Cola's 11 months in prison, the ticket remained undisturbed in the home of Mack's parents, Carrick and Brodie Durgin; that is, until they mailed George's remains to their son so that he could scatter them in the Grand Canyon.

Diet Cola and two thieves, Frosty and Ace, as well Calliope Vrattos, a beautiful waitress, and the Elvis impersonator who is stalking her, are all headed in Mack's direction where they will hook up with Juanita, an unfortunate choice for Mack's first sexual encounter after his wife's death, and her jealous boyfriend, Zippy. The cast is complete when Brodie, Mack's mother, who is in the early stages of dementia, and her loving husband, Carrick, whose primary role is to keep his wife safe and happy, arrive in Arizona to visit their son.

If When Pigs Fly were a movie, it would be a 1930s screwball comedy. Zippy is after Mack because of his one-night stand with his girlfriend; Elvis is after Calliope; Diet Cola, Frosty and Ace are after Mack's ticket, which is complicated by the arrival of Mack's parents. Mack knows nothing of the ticket in the urn. He has been asked to spread his friend's ashes, and that's what he's going to do. All of this is played out against the beautiful Arizona landscape.

Amidst all the chaos created in the pursuit of the lottery ticket are two charming stories. Carrick Durgin knows that his wife's dementia is only going to get worse. He wants to make the most of the time left to them, and so they go to Las Vegas with a side trip to see Mack. Brodie, who's brain has apparently deleted the fear mechanism that keeps human beings safe, finds herself in the company of Diet Cola and Zippy. Instead of being afraid of these two hoodlums, she chastises them for their bad behavior. All Carrick can do is hope and pray that his wife will not come to any harm.

And then there is Mack and Calliope. Mack is a handsome, kind, thoughtful person who is trying to figure out how to live in a world no longer inhabited by his wife. Although he is attracted to Calliope, he feels that if he became involved with the former waitress it would be the same as cheating on his wife. For her own reasons, Calliope is reluctant to begin to a relationship with Mack. Calliope and Mack are like two people who see each other across a crowded dance hall. They know that the attraction is there, and step by step, they move to the center for that first slow dance.

This is a laugh-out-loud type of book with some of the funniest writing I have read in years. The dialog sparkles and the characters are funny and believable. And did I mention a javelina named Poindexter?
Profile Image for Julie.
252 reviews16 followers
February 9, 2011
When Mack's parents send him his friend's ashes, his biggest concerns are coming to terms with his relationship with his friend, and finding the most appropriate location to spread his ashes. But then a ragtag group of misfit criminals shows up searching for the lottery ticket one of them hid in the urn. He soon finds himself teamed up with a former waitress who is trying to elude an Elvis impersonator as they try to figure out what this oddball group wants. Add to the story a domesticated pig who's been set free in the desert and you have what can only be described as a screwball comedy that will keep you entertained from the first page to the last!

I heard about When Pigs Fly by Bob Sanchez more than a year ago, but I just finally got around to reading it. It was as funny, and crazy, as I had expected. The storyline is fun, but the characters are what really make the book great. Sanchez has created a cast of characters that is truly outrageous, but somehow he manages to make them seem real. For example, there's Diet Cola, the huge, smelly, bully who thinks with his stomach. And then there are Frosty and Ace, brothers who remind me of the characters in the Dumb and Dumber movies. And of course, there's Elvis and Poindexter, the javelina.

I thoroughly enjoyed this book. If you're looking for something different, something that will make you laugh out loud at the crazy antics of a bunch of bumbling fools, I definitely recommend When Pigs Fly. Every one of the supporting characters is unique and interesting, and the storyline keeps you moving from beginning to end.
Profile Image for Sarah Bollt.
46 reviews7 followers
June 19, 2014
This is one of those books I downloaded solely because there was something interesting on the cover ... in this case, a saguaro. I live in Tucson, and I know that saguaros only grow in the Sonoran Desert, so I thought, this story must take place close to home.

I was right in that respect. Most of the story takes place in and around Tucson. Other than that, though, this is definitely not the type of book I generally read. Way too much graphic violence, graphic language, and illegal activity going on for me. Despite all that, however, somehow I managed to enjoy it. It's kind of a mishmosh of impossible people and impossible coincidences that all somehow end up converging on each other.

There was a sense of disconnect at some points, like the author had gone back and added a chapter and then not read it through to check for consistency. Sometimes I couldn't figure out how they were in Phoenix driving down the road, then suddenly in Tucson having dinner, then checking into a hotel in Phoenix.

Overall, though, I have to say it kept me interested all the way through, and while I knew in some level that the good guy had to win in the end (especially with the bad guys being *so* incredibly dumb), there were points where i was almost sure that all was lost.

I think Poindexter (the Brussels sprout loving pet javelina, a.k.a. Leena) was one of my favorite characters.
Profile Image for Susan (aka Just My Op).
1,126 reviews58 followers
April 2, 2013
This book reminded me of the movie It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World. Everyone is after a treasure and it's a race to see who will find it first. Only this adventure involves a lottery ticket hidden in an urn of ashes and a bunch of bad guys and crooks. And one Brussels sprouts-loving pig. Make that a javelina. And a wonderful old couple, parents to the urn-toting protagonist, who are in their twilight years but not too old for a little friskiness.

Delightful characters and a completely improbable plot make this a fun and entertaining story. For my tastes, it could have wrapped up a little more quickly, just one or two too many turns to the plot, but I enjoyed the story so much I really didn't mind. As with most e-books I've read, there are some typos but fewer than most, not enough to be annoying. Just enjoy the ride.
Profile Image for Rose.
16 reviews
July 19, 2008
Very funny story about a MA cop, Mack Durgin, who retires to AZ after the death of his wife. But MA follows him to AZ when Diet Cola, a brutal thug, two fumbling petty thieves, an Elvis impersonator, a beautiful waitress, and Mack's parents all end up in a comic merry-go-round looking for a lottery ticket.

The only reason I gave it four stars is because after Diet Cola has assaulted all the characters at least once, you get the idea he's a bad guy, and it becomes repetitive. But this is a book that will make you laugh out loud.
Profile Image for Cynthia Thomason.
Author 69 books53 followers
February 21, 2012
I downloaded this book to my Kindle when it was a free offering. It was a diversion for me - not the type I usually read. With that in mind, trust me when I say you might love it. I found it fast-paced, quirky and interesting. At the same time I found the characters a bit strange and hard to identify with. The romance seemed flat to me. But I'm not sorry I read it. The lead character had a "Spenser" quality about him, which is almost an over-the-top tough guy thing that I don't always like. But this book will keep you turning pages (or hitting that forward button)
Profile Image for Kathy.
221 reviews5 followers
July 18, 2024
Very amusing, but still full of action. A retired policeman's elderly parents have a lottery ticket with winning numbers, but for a different game. A criminal breaks into their house and hides it then ends up in jail. Turns into a chase with the policeman, his parents, and a lady trying to escape an Elvis impersonator that's stalking her, trying to stay away from a group of ineffective and quite stupid criminals and the Elvis impersonator, who's not too bright either. And, yes, there is a pig involved!
Profile Image for Katie Corbin.
43 reviews5 followers
July 21, 2012
I got this book for free on my Kindle... it was... different. The writing was very poor and childish to me, the story was interesting but very outrageous. Kind of like a really bad Tarantino movie, and with more bad jokes. There was one part at the end of the book that actually made me chuckle, but overall I did not dig this book.

I think it may just be a matter of taste, though. The one joke after another thing did not do it for me, it wasn't my type of humor.
Profile Image for Donna Murray.
Author 17 books110 followers
April 11, 2013
Donald Westlake meets Carl Hiassen and they get loaded. We are warned of adult content, but having been adult for a while now, Sanchez failed to offend me. Instead I actually welcomed what was a slightly preposterous romp with more than enough niceness that kept the fun almost completely above the belt. If there was a lapse or 2 or 3 in the probability dept. I honestly didn't care. If you're after logic, keep looking. If you just want to have fun,settle in. http://www.donnahustonmurray.com
Profile Image for Vanderlleef.
5 reviews
April 28, 2014
This book was fast-paced and held my interest throughout, but I didn't actually enjoy it. The story was unusual, and I did want to know where it was going and how it was resolved. And the resolution was satisfactory. The biggest problem was how annoying and disgusting the "bad guys" were. I didn't find their antics (or their misuse of words) to be amusing. I did like the pig, however--it was an interesting addition. Poor editing was also distracting for me.
Profile Image for Al.
18 reviews1 follower
February 14, 2012
The word that comes to mind is "mediocre" with a generous helping of poor editing. Throughout the book there were examples of characters talking about things they hadn't been introduced to yet in the story. I pressed myself to complete it because I hate leaving a book partially read (thus 2 stars instead of just one) but it was a close thing.
Profile Image for Joe Hofmann.
41 reviews
February 16, 2012
Silly, preposterous premise about a bogus lottery ticket and the lengths various ne'er do wells go to try to retrieve from a guy who does not even know he has it. But, all in all, a great beach read -- on the beach at Little Lameshur Bay in St. John on Fe. 15. Worth every one of those 99 cents I paid for it when it popped up as a Kindle Daily Deal.
Profile Image for Rita.
22 reviews6 followers
August 11, 2012
At first, I didn't like it, it was very confusing the way it skipped from characters to characters but then, about half way through the story got moving and interesting and even made me laugh here and there.

I read the kindle edition and the formatting got a little bit out of alignment at times but nothing that would make reading uncomfortable. Some people might not even notice.
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