Moomlatz oder wie ich versuchte in Asien meine Unschuld zu verlieren On Tour

by Iris Bahr

Fresh out of the Israeli Army, twenty-year-old Iris Bahr decides to follow the footsteps of many before her and backpack through Asia. Only unlike the average traveler, she has more in mind than just seeing the she is on a desperate mission to lose her virginity.Dork Whore is a fresh and funny memoir about a young woman whose quirky personality and embarrassing neuroses always seem to get in the way of her getting what she wants. As Iris lands in hotel rooms in Bangkok, rides scooters out of opium-fogged compounds hidden in the jungle, and antagonizes an impromptu tour group in Vietnam, she begins to realize that the greatest obstacle she’ll have to overcome isn’t losing her virginity, but coming to terms with the reasons for her need to be accepted. Poignant, hilarious, and always original, Dork Whore is a remarkable mix of bawdy humor and heartbreaking moments, witty intelligence and touching personal discoveries. Iris Bahr has given us an unforgettable coming-of-age tale about how a young woman finally learns how to trust others—and her own judgment.

Genres: Travel, Nonfiction, Memoir, Humor, Biography Memoir, Asia, Biography

Paperback

First published March 6, 2007

About the author

Iris Bahr is a critically acclaimed writer, actor, director and producer. Having starred on numerous television shows, she is best known for her recurring role as Svetlana (which she wrote and directed for Mark Cuban's Hdnet) and the Orthodox Jewish Girl that gets stuck on a ski-lift with Larry David on CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM. Her critically acclaimed solo show, "DAI (enough)", in which she plays 11 different characters in a Tel Aviv cafe moments before a suicide bomber enters, had an extended hit run Off-Broadway and won the prestigious Lucille Lortel Award for Best Solo Performance, (as well as 2 Drama Desk and UK Stage Award nominations for Best Performance and Sound Design.) She has performed DAI around the world, including at the United Nations for over 100 ambassadors and delegates. Her first solo show, "Planet America", received an LA Weekly nomination for Outstanding Solo Show and is currently in development as a feature film. Ms. Bahr has written two humorous memoirs, DORK WHORE (Bloomsbury) and its sequel MACCHU MY PICCHU (Skirt). Her books have been translated into German, Portuguese and Italian. Dork Whore is currently in development as a feature film as well.

Born and raised in the Bronx, Iris moved to Israel at the age of 13 and stayed there until completing her military service. She then embarked on an extensive solo journey through Asia. Upon her return, Iris began her studies at Brown University, where in addition to theatre, Iris studied Neuropsychology, conducting fMRI research at Stanford University and Cancer Research at the Psychobiology Center at Tel Aviv University.

Upon graduating magna cum laude, Iris moved to NYC where she decided to focus on acting full time. She completed the NYSF Shakespeare Lab at the Public Theatre and enrolled in the the Actors Center Conservatory, studying with master teachers Earle Gister (Yale), Ron Van Lieu (NYU Tisch), Chris Bayes (Juilliard), Bill Irwin and others, as well as the world renowned Theatre De Complicite in London.
After getting hit by a truck on her bicycle one night after clown class (no joke), Iris decided to relocate to Los Angeles where she began creating her own work, dabbling in stand-up (performing as a NEW FACE at the prestigious Montreal Comedy Festival), and directing several shorts, including THE UNCHOSEN ONES, entirely improvised on the streets of Israel, which ran the festival circuit, including the Cannes Short Film Corner.

In addition to her projects in the US, Iris is currently developing an original comedy series with an Israeli network and a feature film based on DAI.

Reviews

[Doris · Rating 5 out of 5]

After having read some of the comments, I feel I need to defend "Dork Whore"... I do not know what people expected from it, but this is what I did: As so many others, I read it in a few hours on a very hot summerday, sitting by the lake, eating a lot of cherries, watching some attractive guys lying a few meters away... The book suited the situation perfectly. I did not get it because I wanted to read some psychologically refined study about the coming of age of.. bla bla. It's just a hilarious summer book and it was FUN to read.

[Sleepless Dreamer · Rating 2 out of 5]

I finished my own after army trip almost one year ago. When I had to decide where to go, I opted to travel in Europe, Russia, Taiwan and the USA. In Israeli culture, this is pretty unheard of, everyone always goes to South America or South East Asia and well, that's exactly why I didn't want to go there. Not just the hipstery element (although, definitely that) but I just didn't want to find myself surrounded by people like Iris.

In this book, Iris tells us of her own experiences in her after army trip in India, Nepal, Vietnam and Thailand. The chapters are short and share the various experiences she has as she tries to lose her virginity.

I don't know how to even begin describing what bothered me here. The criticism about Eat, Pray, Love? That but double it. Iris comes across as wholly self-focused. The countries themselves are a background for her own drama. Throughout the whole book, she doesn't say a single nice thing about anyone.

I remember that one of the best parts about traveling were the people. Like my god, you meet so many wonderful people, both other travelers and locals and it's just amazing. I literally cannot understand how Iris could walk around with so much negativity and nastiness.

You know, I just refuse to buy into the idea that you can't be funny without being mean. In the book, Iris meets another girl named Iris. This Iris seems to really care for our narrator. She's genuinely sweet and Iris just constantly mocks her. It's not funny, it's just cruel and really, Iris deserves everything bad that happens to her.

Let's put aside the toxicity of suddenly deciding you have to lose your virginity right now. Even with that, I hate the idea of traveling with that goal. I mean, you travel to learn, to experience, to see. There's something so selfish about traveling just in order to have sex. Like, come on, the world is so interesting and you just can't disengage from yourself or even try to?

Every single thing Iris does seems motivated by what other people think about her. She is simultaneously incredibly mean and yet, desperately looking for the acceptance of others. You'd think traveling would help her organize some of her mind better but nope.

I am so so grateful that I traveled the way I did. I realize that Israelis do this trip to leave the army behind and that's so valid but at the same time, I can't help but wonder what it does to the locals and that even though tourism is great for the economy, there is something so disrespectful about coming into a country just to do drugs. I am certain I would have been miserable if I had to travel with such a pack of Israelis.

Some parts here are accurate but for the most part, I just got a lot of secondhand embarrassment for Iris. I can't recommend this book because I just don't think it's worth the time.

What I'm Taking With Me
-It's funny to think this book is from 13 years ago and yet, the Israeli backpacking culture is virtually the same.
-I love that there's this weird connection between Australians and Israelis, like these two nationalities that travel a lot and share similar vibes. And I, too, met a chill dude from California in a hostel in Belgrade that was literally falling apart.
- Why the heck would you travel with someone that doesn't make you happy? I realize I take this to an extreme usually but still, it's your traveling.
- Did Gadi just die in the end? Where is the closure?

[Immigration Art · Rating 4 out of 5]

Recommend!

Iris Bahr is smart, witty, sardonic, and is often reminded that she has a terrific ass (and to reinforce the point, when she isn't telling me about which guy thinks her ass is great, she herself tells me what a terrific ass she has).

This book is part Bill Bryson travelogue (but with a lot more discussion of genitalia and secondary sex organs); part Woody Allen neurotic short story (but with more drugs); part Chelsea Handler pyschoactive-substance-fueled romp (with less vodka, more hash and opiates); and equal parts J. Maarten Troost, Tony Hendra, Larry David, Joan Rivers and some Fran Lebowitz thrown in for good measure.

A good laugh. Smart. Clever . . . and self-aware (in a good way). Abandonment issues from childhood, manifesting as neurosis, self-doubt, and feelings of alienation, are a bitch, until you realize everyone is just as screwed-up as you feel.

[Brittany · Rating 5 out of 5]

Soooooo gooooood! And so much better than Eat, Pray, Love. http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/19...

I wouldn't necessarily do a side by side comparison of the two, but they are of the same genre and they are both about a woman traveling to multiple countries in Asia to find themselves (and in Bahr's case, to find an orgasm as well).

However, Bahr does a much better job than Gilbert, Elizabeth Gilbert , at verbalizing women's neuroses. I mean, I have had EVERY THOUGHT that Bahr describes. And if a girl who spent her adolescence in Israel has the same thoughts and feelings as a Catholic girl from the Midwest, then every woman must have felt this way at some point in their lives. So, this book is reaffirming for women, as well as an entertaining read. Also, if any man asks why us women are so complex, difficult, hard to understan, etc., then give them this book. This explains everything that is going through our heads.

Furthermore, this book is hilarious!!! A very entertaining read. And it is not because of the sexual nature of this book either. Bahr is a true comedian.

[Susan · Rating 1 out of 5]

So unpleasant it's hard to know where to begin...you have to think that she was trying to channel Chelsea Handler (a la My Horizontal Life a bit here, but she doesn't quite pull it off. This might be partly because her voice lacks the almost enthusiastically unapologetic note of Handler's. You can't shake the undercurrent of discomfort and since there's a total lack of even short-lived fun to be had, there's no vicarious thrill for the reader. This book is actually (surprisingly?) short on the sex and long on torturous descriptions about the state of the author's bowel movements (and troubles) at various stages of her journey. Sarah Silverman-esque but without the funny. Clearly there is a story to be told, somewhere under this trip from hell. The woman has some extensive acting credentials, a successful one-woman show and a stint with the Israeli Army under her belt. Unfortunately, the story we'd like is not the story that's told here.

[Liralen · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not my cuppa. I'm reminded of My Miserable, Lonely, Lesbian Pregnancy, the back-of-the-book description for which called it 'whiny'—meant as a positive—and made me rethink ever reading another book described as 'whiny'.

In this case, it's not the whininess per se that's so off-putting, but what I think we can call toxic insecurity. Bahr's quest to get laid has her categorising every woman she meets as either slutty bitches (read: more attractive and/or confident and/or sexually experienced than she is) or incredible bores (read: not laser-focussed on sex) and running around insecurely after the douche-bro-iest male backpackers she can find.

Occasionally I felt genuinely sad for her (as when she apologises to a guy who is angry because she's rejected his attempt to force her into unprotected sex), but mostly I was just left hoping that none of the women described in the book ever read the book.

[Sarina M · Rating 3 out of 5]

Ugh, Bahr started off being quirky, funny, and oddly charming, but soon turned into a utterly self involved, bratty, immature, judgmental bitch. I don't think she wrote a complementary statement about any of the people she encountered, other to observe some of the men as attractive, but then invariably followed up with a deluge of insults. She somehow tries to act superior and insecure, which at first seemed contradictory, but actually makes a lot of sense. Only an insecure person could call other people sluts and boring, whilst trying to fuck everyone she meets and spending the rest of her time withdrawn, waiting for her companions to come compliment/comfort her.

Bahr and the Eat Pray Love lady are in the same category of awful human beings, where each have the means / ability to have interesting adventures, whilst somehow hyper focusing on themselves to the point of being utterly grotesque.

With all that being said, I like travelogues, and Bahr's was entertaining, as there was a lot going on (even though I have my doubts about the validity of a few of her stories).

[Beverly · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read this book maybe 5 or 6 years ago. It was mildly amusing and forthright.. mostly because the author is a female preoccupied with sex, much like a 15 year-old boy with hormones raging. Her promiscuous, ill-fated adventures backpacking through Asia were a bit ridiculous at times, but I'll take that over boring, censored accounts. The book overall was nothing I'd call groundbreaking or phenomenal. I will say, though, that the thing that stuck with me after all this time was the account of the worms in her stool. I found her description of both initially finding them and the aftermath of taking medicine to get rid of them horrifying. I can't decide if it's a good or bad thing that it has been so memorable...

[Lindsay · Rating 1 out of 5]

Another title that's been on my list for years. Not sure what interested me about it at the time but it was a slog. I was surprised to read that the author is a comedian because I didn't find much if anything funny. Fat phobia, cultural prejudice, a string of one-sided and worrisome infatuations, seemingly constant masturbation. No thanks.

[Nakia · Rating 3 out of 5]

Iris is a 20 year old virgin from Israel who has just completed her mandatory two year stint in the army. With no serious plans, she decides to tour Asia in hopes to rid herself of the dreaded disease: her virginity. As she travels throughout Thailand, Vietnam, Nepal, and India she is hit with the wackiest adventures that a young girl trekking through unkonwn territory could every imagine, much of it her own fault.

There is the stunning European man who holds her hand by day, but seduces prostitutes in the evening; the guy whose sweetness turns her off, which causes her to dump him for his bestfriend; and the guy she makes moves on in a bunk bed on a train, who politely asks her to stop and nearly falls off the top bunk in the process. There are plenty more stories where that came from...all in the name of deflowering.

It's pretty hard not to chuckle at Iris' shenanigans and desperate attempts to be made into a woman. She also shares the good and down sides of traveling throughout Asia: contracting worms, witnessing extreme poverty, making friends with people all over the world, finding peace with her flaws, etc.

This is a really light, enjoyable read. Nothing too serious (her attempts to connect her parent's divorce to her need for attention was unneccessary, in my opinion). It did spark my own desire to travel on a whim...only my choice would be Africa.

[Anna · Rating 3 out of 5]

No, this is not my memoir. I am not an American Israeli recently released from military service. Iris, having served at a military desk post just around the corner from home, wanted to get out and see the world. As is custom for former Isreali soldiers, she took off with a travel buddy for Asia. Her goal? Adventure, magic, exitement? Well kind of. Her goal was to loose her virginity. There had been a questionable run in with a god like specimin, but no real cherry popping. So she sets out on what she hopes will be a sexual adventure through Thailand, Vietnam, Nepal and India, jumping at any chance to inappropriatley fondle a fellow backpacker. The result is as hilarious as it is painful. Her nerotic charm will remind you a little of yourself (the part you never let anyone else see).

[Patrick · Rating 2 out of 5]

Memoir of a 20-year-old woman fresh out of the mandatory Israeli army, taking a vacation throughout Asia while trying to lose her virginity. There were a lot of funny, no-shame moments, and Iris herself was charming, but that only lasted about halfway through the 200-page book, which isn't long. The highlights for me were her numerous bouts with digestive tract parasites and the wacky bathroom hijinks caused by them, and the names she calls her intact hymen, such as "bio-barrier," "fem-fence," hoohaa hedge," and "poonani portal."

[Judith Rich · Rating 5 out of 5]

I thought this was hilarious. I giggled most of the way through. I didn't go travelling at this age but I did spend a year studying abroad and there are definite parallels.

I fear I have more in common with Iris than I would like! Her disastrous attempts to seduce handsome men (only to find she's somehow ended up with his not-so-attractive friend) are horribly familiar, I'm afraid.

[Seawardly · Rating 2 out of 5]

I thought it was going to be more about experiencing new cultures and being more immersed with locals, and not about "backpacker culture." My mistake, I should have examined the description better. Although, I am sure she would be fun to hang out with….

[Kara Fraser · Rating 2 out of 5]

Extremely self-indulgent with a smattering of tedious pity parties, this book fails to be either funny or adventurous. By the end you sympathize more with Iris' companions than you do with her and are no longer left wondering why people wouldn't stick around. I surely didn't want to.

[Steven-John Tait · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really funny book. If you want something light, easy and entertaining to read, I think this is it. I recommend it to anyone who just wants some entertainment while on a beach holiday. Nothing profound in it. Not my normal kind of book. Easy book to ready after a heavy tome, I'd guess.

[Holly · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hilarious rendition of a young woman's journey to self discovery and coming of age. And the Vietnamese water puppet description was bang on and made me snort pop out my nose. Light, fun and engaging read.

[Ben Pablo · Rating 4 out of 5]

Picked this up in a discount bin a few years ago. It's a good laugh. Got the copy back from a friend recently and I now flip through it in the toilet. It's interesting to re-read now that I've actually traveled the same parts of the world.

[Sinah · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hilarious with an amazing flow to it!

[Victoria · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a fun, light, brainless read. It was fun, because all this crazy shit happened to her and not me ;)

[Mauricio Villa · Rating 4 out of 5]

Excellent writer, very amusing without "trying too hard", I wouldn't call her or the book "dorky" at all. The ending was a bit short and rushed but a good read.

[heather · Rating 5 out of 5]

hilarious! I suggest listening to Iris read her own book. thoroughly entertaining.

[Amante Reale · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not too bad. Bit bland compared to other humorous self-memoirs.

[Carlo · Rating 2 out of 5]

Libro carino, uno spunto interessante da cui sviluppare la narrazione ma alla fine nulla di così realmente bello da farmi ringraziare di aver iniziato la lettura.

Tutto nasce dalla protagonista, Iris, che intraprende un viaggio nel sud-est asiatico per dare uno scossone alla sua confort zone e, programmaticamente, cercare di perdere la verginità.

Dopo un iniziale impegno specifico il racconto diventa un diario di viaggio un po’ sopra le righe, ma neanche tanto.

Iris mette un po’ di umorismo sul suo essere ebrea, sul suo passato con una breve esperienza nell'esercito e una serie di temi ricorrenti molto simpatici sui suoi compagni di viaggio, sulle città e i Paesi che attraversa.

La protagonista oscilla fra una infantile ricerca di attenzioni e il continuo fallimento dei suoi propositi in quanto a rapporti sociali. Ricerca un protagonismo e spesso pretende di perseguirlo sottraendosi alle serate conviviali con i compagni di viaggio, spera di rendersi misteriosa agli occhi del ragazzo di turno e si dispera per l'indifferenza che ne riceve.

Romanzo di formazione? In un certo senso…

Traduzione a tratti un po' strana, ho la sensazione di aver letto delle incongruenze e sicuramente c'era qualche errore qua e là.

[Stef Rozitis · Rating 1 out of 5]

The racism was not OK

I read this thinking it was fiction that was trying to be comedy. Apparently it's a memoir. I feel sorry for the author then. Someone should tell her that sex is not supposed to be painful and if PIV is painful don't do it. She appeared to have little to no attraction for and no connection with all the guys she tried to bed because "all the cool girls are doing it". I call bullshit on girl talk ever being about penises and giz but I guess I have never been in the military.

Does not really pass the Bechdel test. Maybe very late in the book Iris and Iris are briefly friends for 5 seconds before Iris deserts her to go have it off with....

yeah that would be a spoiler

but not really

The book is very immature (oddly she gets called"funny, smart and mature" by other characters a couple times and I wish she had showed us that side of herself). I did not like.

And the racism is really, really not OK. If you have something against Asians then don't go to Asia ok?

[J · Rating 3 out of 5]

I thought this had its moments but unfortunately Iris was extremely unlikable back in 2007. People change so i hope, for her sake, that she’s improved! I wanted her to make me laugh but many passages in this just made me sad because i worried about the person she used to be: very narcissistic, damaged, valuing the wrong things in life and avoiding human connection. I identified with her often but I kept wanting her to be better. Other than that, this gave wanderlust, as I’ve never been to any of the countries she mentions!

[Lauma Ose · Rating 4 out of 5]

Vai šī bija baigi laba grāmata? Nē! Bet vai bija viegli un gana interesanti lasīt? Jā. Es labāk būtu gribējusi, lai ir vairāk ceļojuma apraksti, jo tie, kas bija, bija labi un tādi, ka nu galīgi negribētu pati atrasties tur. Pārāk daudz autore uzsvaru uz džekiem lika, kur faktiski lielākā daļa satura bija autores iedomās.

[Tim · Rating 5 out of 5]

I probably would not have bought this book, but it was given to me and I LOVED it. The author is truly a dork and (enjoyably) fails to achieve the status of a whore. Surprisingly fun and fresh. I can't think of another book like it.

[Nick · Rating 3 out of 5]

I like books that chroniclize people's travels but this was a bit lame.

[Marie Nicole · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hysterical. I was cry laughing at the banana part.