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Asking: A 59-Minute Guide to Everything Board Members, Volunteers and Staff Must Know to Secure the Gift
What do your board members fear most, public speaking or asking for money?
Perhaps Toastmasters International can help them with the former, but there’s no doubt Asking , by Jerold Panas, will temper if not vanquish their fear of asking. It’s why Asking is the top-selling book in the history of fundraising.
What Asking convincingly shows – and one reason staff will applaud the book and board members will devour it – is that it doesn’t take stellar sales skills to be an effective asker. Nearly everyone, regardless of their persuasive ability, can become a highly successful fundraiser if they follow a few step-by-step guidelines.
Table of Contents First published by Emerson & Church this revised edition reflects a change of publisher to Civil Sector Press.
Perhaps Toastmasters International can help them with the former, but there’s no doubt Asking , by Jerold Panas, will temper if not vanquish their fear of asking. It’s why Asking is the top-selling book in the history of fundraising.
What Asking convincingly shows – and one reason staff will applaud the book and board members will devour it – is that it doesn’t take stellar sales skills to be an effective asker. Nearly everyone, regardless of their persuasive ability, can become a highly successful fundraiser if they follow a few step-by-step guidelines.
Table of Contents First published by Emerson & Church this revised edition reflects a change of publisher to Civil Sector Press.
112 pages, Paperback
First published November 30, 2002
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409 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 53 reviews
June 5, 2020
2020 Review
I interned at a non-profit last year and gave my boss this book because he hates asking for money. He read three chapters, gave the book back, and hired me as a fundraiser.
Don't know if that is a testimony for this book or not.
2019 Review
Some people are so enthusiastic and energetic, even their writing shines with it. I am pretty sure Jerold Panas has enough energy to light a city.
A very, very short, practical, enthusiastic read about making the "ask." Though aimed at fundraisers, I actually think it would be quite practical for making the ask about anything, including volunteering or direct sales.
I interned at a non-profit last year and gave my boss this book because he hates asking for money. He read three chapters, gave the book back, and hired me as a fundraiser.
Don't know if that is a testimony for this book or not.
2019 Review
Some people are so enthusiastic and energetic, even their writing shines with it. I am pretty sure Jerold Panas has enough energy to light a city.
A very, very short, practical, enthusiastic read about making the "ask." Though aimed at fundraisers, I actually think it would be quite practical for making the ask about anything, including volunteering or direct sales.
January 9, 2015
You've been asked to help raise money for a not-for-profit. You panic, "I can't do that. I'm no good at asking for money." Guess what, no one likes asking for money. Everyone feels uncomfortable. So what do you do? Reading this book would be a great place to start.
Our new Director of Development and Communications gave me this book as homework last night! Exactly as promised, this is a good "59 minute" read which lays out the basics of fundraising. Specifically, how to ask individuals to give your organization money. Loaded with good tips, it's real value is to persuade you that asking may not be comfortable, but it is doable, and can be really rewarding!
Our new Director of Development and Communications gave me this book as homework last night! Exactly as promised, this is a good "59 minute" read which lays out the basics of fundraising. Specifically, how to ask individuals to give your organization money. Loaded with good tips, it's real value is to persuade you that asking may not be comfortable, but it is doable, and can be really rewarding!
March 25, 2022
A little dated, but the concepts were easily adaptable to a modern approach. We’ll see if it helps!
September 18, 2023
Feel, Felt and Found! This book provided incredible insight into the profession. I especially liked the examples in the back.
Read
September 11, 2025Read for work. Honestly pretty informative if you ever have to do fundraising
March 23, 2021
Literally a one hour read. Decent sales basics and an easy to follow path for donor work.
November 9, 2024
Wow, what an energetic approach to fundraising! Literally took 45 minutes to read and now I’m pumped to work on my pitch deck! Great investment of time and resources.
May 2, 2024
First, let's get this out of the way: I thoroughly disliked this book.
That said, it's a fundraising classic and if you're a nonprofit volunteer, board member, or staff and you're not certain how to go about soliciting major gifts, it's worth a read. It's short, easy to skim, and has some good ideas.
So why did I hate it? There were a few oft-repeated phrases that just set my teeth on edge; for example, "I'm not smart enough to tell you XXX," which just comes across as a mannered, manipulative catchphrase. And his Getting Past Objections tactics sometimes cross the line into badgering. Mostly, though, my objection comes down to Voice. That's an important narrative element--and as a reader and a writer, I usually consider that to be the MOST important narrative element--and the author's narrator's voice strikes me as a little too...hucksterish.
There are a lot of ways to fundraise, and this approach might work for you. Even if it doesn't, it can be helpful to consider a variety of approaches.
That said, it's a fundraising classic and if you're a nonprofit volunteer, board member, or staff and you're not certain how to go about soliciting major gifts, it's worth a read. It's short, easy to skim, and has some good ideas.
So why did I hate it? There were a few oft-repeated phrases that just set my teeth on edge; for example, "I'm not smart enough to tell you XXX," which just comes across as a mannered, manipulative catchphrase. And his Getting Past Objections tactics sometimes cross the line into badgering. Mostly, though, my objection comes down to Voice. That's an important narrative element--and as a reader and a writer, I usually consider that to be the MOST important narrative element--and the author's narrator's voice strikes me as a little too...hucksterish.
There are a lot of ways to fundraise, and this approach might work for you. Even if it doesn't, it can be helpful to consider a variety of approaches.
September 26, 2018
It almost feels like cheating, adding this to the list of books I’ve read this year – it was so short!
Jeez. Jerry likes his random references (he quotes athletic coaches, Native American chiefs, condiments jars in his fridge...)
I got itself was very helpful – as someone that has worked in almost every field of not-for-profit work, development is still a bit daunting to me as I’ve never had to make direct asks. I’m so good at selling a mission and talking about programs, but summoning the gumption to actually ask for tens of thousands of dollars has never been my forte. I think this book had some very helpful tips in it that are directly applicable to development.
Jeez. Jerry likes his random references (he quotes athletic coaches, Native American chiefs, condiments jars in his fridge...)
I got itself was very helpful – as someone that has worked in almost every field of not-for-profit work, development is still a bit daunting to me as I’ve never had to make direct asks. I’m so good at selling a mission and talking about programs, but summoning the gumption to actually ask for tens of thousands of dollars has never been my forte. I think this book had some very helpful tips in it that are directly applicable to development.
May 10, 2013
Asking: A 59-minutes Guide to Everything Board Members Must Know to Secure the Gift by Jerold Panas provides general tips on how to successful ask for donation as well as emotional support for those fearful of asking. More importantly, Panas provides a formula for successfully securing the gift.
To begin, Panas describes the traits every solicitor should have when they ask for a donation. After interviewing many donors, Panas concludes that “empathy, energy, and enthusiasm” were fundamental aspects in securing the gift. He describes empathy as listening to the donor, probing them for questions and listening to their concerns. Panas notes that when one listens to a person, a donor feels that the solicitor understands him and his needs. When someone is listened to, they feel that the person cares about them. In fact, most prospects will not be consciously registering your message until they believe that you understand their perspective. Though asking for the gift is crucial (if one does not ask, one will not receive), it is far more important to listen: one should “listen the gift.” By listening, one can respond to the concerns which the donor may have about the mission or the donation. Often serious concerns can be resolved merely by allowing the potential donor to express his displeasure about something. Panas relates the story of an individual who began by stating that he hated the hospital but concluded with a donation. The ability to express one's opinion is cathartic. Even after the desired amount has been named, Panas cautions against the urge to fill in the (perhaps uncomfortable) silence. One must give the donor time to respond.
Similarly, the energy and enthusiasm which the solicitor demonstrates helps establish the cause as one worth supporting. These traits, when genuine, are contagious and will help convince the donor to give the gift being requested. Of course, it is imperative that one's enthusiasm be expressed also in action. There is nothing as compelling as providing a testimony of one's own personal gift to the cause. At the same time, there is nothing more off-putting to potential donors then to discover that the solicitor himself has not even donated. However, though these traits are important, Panas observes that nothing is as important as integrity. It does not matter how important the cause nor how much empathy, energy, or enthusiasm the solicitor shows if a perception of integrity is lacking. Though Panas does not explicitly says this, the implication is that the empathy, energy, and enthusiasm should be genuine. People easily see through fake emotion.
In addition to these three necessary traits, Panas provides emotional support to those feeling paralyzed by asking for a gift. He notes first of all that in raising money the most important aspect is not how one asks, but rather that one asks at all. Likewise, once one has secured a visit to meet with a potential donor, the donor is eighty-five percent of the way to giving a gift. Hence, one of the easiest parts of fundraising - asking for a visit - is mostly responsible for securing the gift. By the time the gift is actually asked for, most of the important work has already been accomplished. This realization no doubt will comfort those who hate actually asking for money.
As for the actual asking for the gift, Panas recommends that it be done only in person. When scheduling a time for the visit (visit rather than appointment as the latter sound ominous), one should first send a letter briefly detailing one's reasons for visiting. After a sufficient amount of time has elapsed for the reception of the letter, it is necessary to call the prospect to set the actual time for a visit. Prior to calling, Panas suggests that one's opening is practiced. He suggests that one may even wish to write out the opening. Nevertheless, it is important that the opening sounds spontaneous rather than scripted which requires additional practice. Similarly, it is important to have a calendar ready with potential days and times selected. Right before calling, mentally resolve to throw oneself into the call. During the call smile when you talk and stand up or pace around the room, thereby generating energy and warmth in your tone. The conversation should be brief as the purpose of the call is to merely set a date for the visit. When proposing a date, suggest two or three options as this increases the probability of a positive response. Likewise, be upfront amount the time you will need. Nothing will turn people off more than significantly overusing the time proposed. Finally, and most importantly, don't make the sell over the phone regardless of how tempting it is. One will be far more effective in person.
Once at the meeting, open by informing the donor that you will be not asking for a gift during this visit. This will put the prospect at rest and allow you to build rapport with him. When describing what the money is needed for, do not sell the organization's needs. Rather describe how the donor's gift will impact lives. Of course, ensure that the description is personal. Facts and figures are boring but the story of an individual in need of assistance is compelling. By selling the impact of the gift on others, the solicitor is showing the donor how the gift will benefit himself. In other words, the solicitor is showing the donor how he can save and change lives - the donor is doing something for himself as well as for others. Overall, the entire presentation should not take more than 11 minutes thereby giving plenty of time for the donor to ask questions and express any concerns he may have. As a general rule of thumb, Panas suggests that the solicitor should only talk for one quarter of the scheduled time.
At the conclusion of the first visit, instead of asking for a gift, ask to schedule another meeting to discuss the gift. Most likely, the donor will say that a second visit is unnecessary and ask how much you are requesting. When responding use the phrase, “I though you would want…” rather than the conventional “We would like you to donate…” After naming the size of the gift, ensure that the amount does not dominate the conversation. If the donor seems hesitant, it is imperative to discover if it is the institution, the project, the amount asked, or the timing that is the cause for the delay. Once the concern has been indentified, the solicitor can determine the appropriate response. When responding, it is helpful to use the words “feel, felt, and found” in order to establish rapport with the donor. It may be necessary to schedule another visit after requesting the gift in order for the donor to consider the request. After the gift has been secured, it is imperative that the solicitor follow up with a thank you.
Panas concludes by noting if one follows this formula one will be far more successful in acquiring gifts. Of course, one should expect rejections. One is not asking enough people if everyone says yes. While some rejections are inevitable, some result from improper preparation or divergence from the formula. Panas lists the top mistakes in asking for a donation as: failing to make the initial call, lack of preparation for the call, anxiety, assuming too much about the donor, failure to ask questions, failure to listen, failure to discuss benefits and how the gift will impact lives, premature selling, and failing to ask for the gift. Of course, even with these rules, nothing will prepare you for successful asking like practice.
To begin, Panas describes the traits every solicitor should have when they ask for a donation. After interviewing many donors, Panas concludes that “empathy, energy, and enthusiasm” were fundamental aspects in securing the gift. He describes empathy as listening to the donor, probing them for questions and listening to their concerns. Panas notes that when one listens to a person, a donor feels that the solicitor understands him and his needs. When someone is listened to, they feel that the person cares about them. In fact, most prospects will not be consciously registering your message until they believe that you understand their perspective. Though asking for the gift is crucial (if one does not ask, one will not receive), it is far more important to listen: one should “listen the gift.” By listening, one can respond to the concerns which the donor may have about the mission or the donation. Often serious concerns can be resolved merely by allowing the potential donor to express his displeasure about something. Panas relates the story of an individual who began by stating that he hated the hospital but concluded with a donation. The ability to express one's opinion is cathartic. Even after the desired amount has been named, Panas cautions against the urge to fill in the (perhaps uncomfortable) silence. One must give the donor time to respond.
Similarly, the energy and enthusiasm which the solicitor demonstrates helps establish the cause as one worth supporting. These traits, when genuine, are contagious and will help convince the donor to give the gift being requested. Of course, it is imperative that one's enthusiasm be expressed also in action. There is nothing as compelling as providing a testimony of one's own personal gift to the cause. At the same time, there is nothing more off-putting to potential donors then to discover that the solicitor himself has not even donated. However, though these traits are important, Panas observes that nothing is as important as integrity. It does not matter how important the cause nor how much empathy, energy, or enthusiasm the solicitor shows if a perception of integrity is lacking. Though Panas does not explicitly says this, the implication is that the empathy, energy, and enthusiasm should be genuine. People easily see through fake emotion.
In addition to these three necessary traits, Panas provides emotional support to those feeling paralyzed by asking for a gift. He notes first of all that in raising money the most important aspect is not how one asks, but rather that one asks at all. Likewise, once one has secured a visit to meet with a potential donor, the donor is eighty-five percent of the way to giving a gift. Hence, one of the easiest parts of fundraising - asking for a visit - is mostly responsible for securing the gift. By the time the gift is actually asked for, most of the important work has already been accomplished. This realization no doubt will comfort those who hate actually asking for money.
As for the actual asking for the gift, Panas recommends that it be done only in person. When scheduling a time for the visit (visit rather than appointment as the latter sound ominous), one should first send a letter briefly detailing one's reasons for visiting. After a sufficient amount of time has elapsed for the reception of the letter, it is necessary to call the prospect to set the actual time for a visit. Prior to calling, Panas suggests that one's opening is practiced. He suggests that one may even wish to write out the opening. Nevertheless, it is important that the opening sounds spontaneous rather than scripted which requires additional practice. Similarly, it is important to have a calendar ready with potential days and times selected. Right before calling, mentally resolve to throw oneself into the call. During the call smile when you talk and stand up or pace around the room, thereby generating energy and warmth in your tone. The conversation should be brief as the purpose of the call is to merely set a date for the visit. When proposing a date, suggest two or three options as this increases the probability of a positive response. Likewise, be upfront amount the time you will need. Nothing will turn people off more than significantly overusing the time proposed. Finally, and most importantly, don't make the sell over the phone regardless of how tempting it is. One will be far more effective in person.
Once at the meeting, open by informing the donor that you will be not asking for a gift during this visit. This will put the prospect at rest and allow you to build rapport with him. When describing what the money is needed for, do not sell the organization's needs. Rather describe how the donor's gift will impact lives. Of course, ensure that the description is personal. Facts and figures are boring but the story of an individual in need of assistance is compelling. By selling the impact of the gift on others, the solicitor is showing the donor how the gift will benefit himself. In other words, the solicitor is showing the donor how he can save and change lives - the donor is doing something for himself as well as for others. Overall, the entire presentation should not take more than 11 minutes thereby giving plenty of time for the donor to ask questions and express any concerns he may have. As a general rule of thumb, Panas suggests that the solicitor should only talk for one quarter of the scheduled time.
At the conclusion of the first visit, instead of asking for a gift, ask to schedule another meeting to discuss the gift. Most likely, the donor will say that a second visit is unnecessary and ask how much you are requesting. When responding use the phrase, “I though you would want…” rather than the conventional “We would like you to donate…” After naming the size of the gift, ensure that the amount does not dominate the conversation. If the donor seems hesitant, it is imperative to discover if it is the institution, the project, the amount asked, or the timing that is the cause for the delay. Once the concern has been indentified, the solicitor can determine the appropriate response. When responding, it is helpful to use the words “feel, felt, and found” in order to establish rapport with the donor. It may be necessary to schedule another visit after requesting the gift in order for the donor to consider the request. After the gift has been secured, it is imperative that the solicitor follow up with a thank you.
Panas concludes by noting if one follows this formula one will be far more successful in acquiring gifts. Of course, one should expect rejections. One is not asking enough people if everyone says yes. While some rejections are inevitable, some result from improper preparation or divergence from the formula. Panas lists the top mistakes in asking for a donation as: failing to make the initial call, lack of preparation for the call, anxiety, assuming too much about the donor, failure to ask questions, failure to listen, failure to discuss benefits and how the gift will impact lives, premature selling, and failing to ask for the gift. Of course, even with these rules, nothing will prepare you for successful asking like practice.
June 10, 2023
My volunteer work has been leading me towards needing to build fundraising skills, something my husband does professionally. I picked up this book from his shelf and was pleasantly surprised. This is short and snappy and offers useful scripts and sample letters I suspect I’ll be referring back to later this year.
Moreover I’m looking forward to comparing this to a boom I plan to read about the selling process. Is fundraising basically selling kindness and generosity? I think so but I’m excited to learn more. I don’t consider myself good at sales but I’m working with a mentor this year who is fantastic at sales and I’m excited to learn
Moreover I’m looking forward to comparing this to a boom I plan to read about the selling process. Is fundraising basically selling kindness and generosity? I think so but I’m excited to learn more. I don’t consider myself good at sales but I’m working with a mentor this year who is fantastic at sales and I’m excited to learn
January 29, 2019
Some good, though dated, guidelines and practical examples for a Board member or organizational leader wanting to improve their major gifts asking. Really did just take <59 minutes to read, and engaging and funny enough that I laughed out loud a few times - at a joke, or recognition of some of the feelings of a fundraiser.
January 9, 2018
Solid principles to work from (in the end, my experience with fundraising is that it’s all about relationship-building), but outdated information for fundraising in our current state. Still, the book gives a solid foundation to learn from.
June 30, 2020
As I've started my new job, I'm working with Development and Fundraising. While I won't be primarily responsible for fundraising, it was a great and very easy read for me! Only took about a half hour to read the whole book!
January 15, 2018
Good for anyone working in and or around the fundraising world
February 20, 2018
Packed with information for new and experienced fundraisers. Quick and easy to read. Highly recommended.
May 5, 2018
There were some good points, but it was really repetitive. Instead of being a 59-minute book, it could’ve been an infographic. I did appreciate all the relevant quotes, though.
December 19, 2018
Would have liked to see some information about asking for smaller gifts. Also, the book has some useful information/ scripts but is out of date.
August 6, 2019
A great quick read from my boss!
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
November 2, 2019
Short & sweet. Oversimple advice, I think, but still manages to be inspiring.
February 22, 2020
Quick read. To the point. Absolutely brilliant tactics that can be applied immediately. A must read for anyone tasked with fundraising!
June 8, 2021
Major gift officers everywhere need to read this
August 1, 2021
Great read!!!
September 5, 2021
I honestly have no idea why I read this but it was actually alright.
January 18, 2023
Very encouraging read.
October 10, 2023
Short and to the point. This is required reading for any major gifts officer, board member, or non profit executive.
August 3, 2024
Very succinct, great messages. Definitely useful for all in charity organisations!
July 3, 2025
Does work reading count? Ha! Very easy read and helpful nuggets. Highly recommend for a quick read if you’re involved in fundraising of any kind.
October 15, 2025
Had to read it for work but like why shouldn’t that count towards my goal
November 17, 2020
Read for a board training. Full of cliches but worth the read.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 53 reviews