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Stand by Her: A Breast Cancer Guide for Men
Scared. Shocked. Depressed. These words describe the more than one million women worldwide who are diagnosed with breast cancer every year. But they also apply to the husbands, fathers, sons, brothers, and friends to whom cancer sufferers turn for support. "Stand by Her" is written to help these men be the very best supporters they can be, combining solid practical advice with emotional guidance based both on the author's personal experience and his extensive research. Offering insight into medical, psychological, family, sexual, and financial issues. The book also provides an exhaustive section of print, online, and other resources for patients and caregivers. One day the war against breast cancer will be won. Until then, women need their men to help them fight. This landmark book will help any man overcome the fear and frustration of dealing with the disease, and arm him with the knowledge and resources he needs to Stand by Her.
257 pages, Paperback
First published October 1, 2009
About the author
John W. Anderson
26 booksLibrarian Note: There is more than one author by this name in the Goodreads database.
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Displaying 1 - 5 of 5 reviews
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July 7, 2018My sister received her diagnosis in April: The doctor caught a three-inch lump before it penetrated the chest wall or spread to the lymph system. To shrink the lump, she will take inhibitors and chemo before her mastectomy in the fall.
This book helped me understand the road ahead and my role as the brother.
She lives two hours from here and an hour away from her boyfriend. I now make extra trips to visit and get her house ready for the day she comes home from the surgery.
This book describes the bedroom as the comfort zone during the weeks of recovery. In practical terms, that includes a variety of comfy pillows and cozy blankets. I can do that. She also will need a full refrigerator. OK. And how about some large, loose-fitting shirts to accommodate the pain and sensitivity at the site. Check.
Also, emotional support will count just as much as the practical and worldly things.
Brothers fill that space between the romance of boyfriends and the collegiality of family and friends, according to this book. Because brothers fall between the cracks, they can serve as the crack-ups, the source of fun, joy and diversion during preparation and recovery, lightening the load. After a lifetime of joking around with my sister, that will come easily enough, although the real test will come during the darker moments.
My sister may lose her hair and appetite as well as her attention span while forgetting things, feeling depressed and going through mood swings. This book helps adjust my expectations about the next year or so. That’s why I needed this book.
Life enjoys playing with synchronicity. Last summer I underwent emergency spinal neurosurgery. My sister came in often during the six weeks of hospital and rehab before bringing me home a month and a half later. The wheel goes round. And it’s my turn.
This book helped me understand the road ahead and my role as the brother.
She lives two hours from here and an hour away from her boyfriend. I now make extra trips to visit and get her house ready for the day she comes home from the surgery.
This book describes the bedroom as the comfort zone during the weeks of recovery. In practical terms, that includes a variety of comfy pillows and cozy blankets. I can do that. She also will need a full refrigerator. OK. And how about some large, loose-fitting shirts to accommodate the pain and sensitivity at the site. Check.
Also, emotional support will count just as much as the practical and worldly things.
Brothers fill that space between the romance of boyfriends and the collegiality of family and friends, according to this book. Because brothers fall between the cracks, they can serve as the crack-ups, the source of fun, joy and diversion during preparation and recovery, lightening the load. After a lifetime of joking around with my sister, that will come easily enough, although the real test will come during the darker moments.
My sister may lose her hair and appetite as well as her attention span while forgetting things, feeling depressed and going through mood swings. This book helps adjust my expectations about the next year or so. That’s why I needed this book.
Life enjoys playing with synchronicity. Last summer I underwent emergency spinal neurosurgery. My sister came in often during the six weeks of hospital and rehab before bringing me home a month and a half later. The wheel goes round. And it’s my turn.
November 26, 2018
An excellent guidebook to help men deal with breast cancer diagnosis in a woman they love. Funny, heartbreaking and everything in between. Highly recommend for guys dealing with the horror of breast cancer.
January 12, 2012
This book has helped me better understand what my mother is going through. I appreciate his honesty and insight
October 10, 2014
a bit repetitive, but overall useful book written by a man for men re: breast cancer. author covered good ways to help and discussed cancerland from a male perspective.
January 27, 2018
‘Stand by Her: A Breast Cancer Guide for Men’ is a book by one brave man for other men who are witnessing their loved one fighting breast cancer and how to support them. These men can be their husbands, fathers, sons, brothers, friends, and coworkers.
Written by John Anderson who has helped his mother, wife, sister and a close friend in their battle against breast cancer, this book is personal and as real as it gets. Each section is a stage in that journey, with its own unique color that symbolizes the feelings these men are facing and will face. It does not try to be everything to everyone and is not filled with technical, scientific or medical terms. It is human. This book is undoubtedly a useful resource for the men out there who are coming out of shock or denial and wanted to know what they can be doing.
As a woman, I encourage all men to be real and get support for themselves.
As a sexologist, I was disappointed it did not cover anything about how cancer impacted sexuality and what tips the author had for men.
As a daughter to a mother who has stage 4 breast cancer, I support more conversations about our breasts and breast cancer. Let it start with me.
Written by John Anderson who has helped his mother, wife, sister and a close friend in their battle against breast cancer, this book is personal and as real as it gets. Each section is a stage in that journey, with its own unique color that symbolizes the feelings these men are facing and will face. It does not try to be everything to everyone and is not filled with technical, scientific or medical terms. It is human. This book is undoubtedly a useful resource for the men out there who are coming out of shock or denial and wanted to know what they can be doing.
As a woman, I encourage all men to be real and get support for themselves.
As a sexologist, I was disappointed it did not cover anything about how cancer impacted sexuality and what tips the author had for men.
As a daughter to a mother who has stage 4 breast cancer, I support more conversations about our breasts and breast cancer. Let it start with me.
Displaying 1 - 5 of 5 reviews