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The Psychology of Self-Esteem
From the day it was published, The Psychology of Self-Esteem was recognized as a groundbreaking book that shook the foundations of psychoanalysis. Dr. Branden's philosophy broke radically with the mainstream thinking of the time and set a new course for our understanding of ourselves and our deepest natures.The brilliance of this benchmark work shines through today as brightly as when it was published, and its message continues to be of vital importance as we enter the twenty-first century. The Psychology of Self-Esteem redefines the relationship of reason to emotion, the nature of free will, and the powerful impact of self-esteem on motivation, work, friendship, sex, and romantic love.
262 pages, Mass Market Paperback
First published January 1, 1969
111 people are currently reading
2721 people want to read
About the author
Nathaniel Branden
187 books569 followersNathaniel Branden was a Canadian–American psychotherapist and writer known for his work in the psychology of self-esteem. A former associate and romantic partner of Ayn Rand, Branden also played a prominent role in the 1960s in promoting Rand's philosophy, Objectivism. Rand and Branden split acrimoniously in 1968, after which Branden focused on developing his own psychological theories and modes of therapy.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 66 reviews
June 9, 2016
Summary
1) Living consciously
1. Keep clear sharp focus, no approximations.
2. Use reason not feelings.
3. Weigh the truth, don't accept it.
1. Posses an indomitable will to understand.
2. Emotions are not tools of cognition nor criteria of judgement - posses the will to efficacy.
2) Self acceptance
One must never permit oneself contradictions.
Have intellectual pride.
3) The practice of self-responsibility.
Don't surrender your belief, don't do something that betrays your line of thought.
4) Self assertiveness
A man's deepest sense of himself has its base and origin in the processes by which his mind deals with reality. - if you take actions that you regard as wrong you become wrong to yourself as a person.
To regain his mental health, the depressed person must be willing to experience anxiety - must be willing to relinquish the "comfort" of despair and to confront his anxiety provoking conflicts, in order to resolve them and move forward.
Psychological liberation will follow if determination to cease fear and guilt are implemented.
Social metaphysical fear is a cancer that either spreads or (if rationally resisted) contracts; but it does not stand still.
Pride is moral ambitiousness, the dedication to achieving one's highest potential, in one's character and in one's life - and the refusal to be sacrificial fodder for the goals of others.
The desire for the new, the unexplored, the challenging, the refusal to accept on faith the platitudes of his elders, indifference towards the undemanding, the fullest exercise of his powers that allow him achieve and experience with pride.
5)Living purposefully
In the realm of work, the primary desire of a man of self-confidence is to face challenges, to achieve and to grow; the primary desire of a man lacking self-confidence is to be "safe".
Self esteem is not based on achievements, however achievements are a result of self esteem.
6) Personal integrity
The desire to perceive himself as an entity in reality - to experience the perspective of objectivity - through and by means of the reactions and responses of other human beings.
A person's sense of life underlies all his other feelings, all his emotional responses.
Every man is an end in himself, not a means to the ends of others.
1) Living consciously
1. Keep clear sharp focus, no approximations.
2. Use reason not feelings.
3. Weigh the truth, don't accept it.
1. Posses an indomitable will to understand.
2. Emotions are not tools of cognition nor criteria of judgement - posses the will to efficacy.
2) Self acceptance
One must never permit oneself contradictions.
Have intellectual pride.
3) The practice of self-responsibility.
Don't surrender your belief, don't do something that betrays your line of thought.
4) Self assertiveness
A man's deepest sense of himself has its base and origin in the processes by which his mind deals with reality. - if you take actions that you regard as wrong you become wrong to yourself as a person.
To regain his mental health, the depressed person must be willing to experience anxiety - must be willing to relinquish the "comfort" of despair and to confront his anxiety provoking conflicts, in order to resolve them and move forward.
Psychological liberation will follow if determination to cease fear and guilt are implemented.
Social metaphysical fear is a cancer that either spreads or (if rationally resisted) contracts; but it does not stand still.
Pride is moral ambitiousness, the dedication to achieving one's highest potential, in one's character and in one's life - and the refusal to be sacrificial fodder for the goals of others.
The desire for the new, the unexplored, the challenging, the refusal to accept on faith the platitudes of his elders, indifference towards the undemanding, the fullest exercise of his powers that allow him achieve and experience with pride.
5)Living purposefully
In the realm of work, the primary desire of a man of self-confidence is to face challenges, to achieve and to grow; the primary desire of a man lacking self-confidence is to be "safe".
Self esteem is not based on achievements, however achievements are a result of self esteem.
6) Personal integrity
The desire to perceive himself as an entity in reality - to experience the perspective of objectivity - through and by means of the reactions and responses of other human beings.
A person's sense of life underlies all his other feelings, all his emotional responses.
Every man is an end in himself, not a means to the ends of others.
May 1, 2018
Twenty-something years ago I was on an Ayn Rand kick and I bought an old paperback by Nathaniel Branden, Rand's former boy toy, and now I've read it. Branden was a huge fan of Rand and became her much younger lover, while both he and she were married to other people (they, being good objectivists, did inform their respective spouses). Eventually, Branden found another younger lover. His wife told his mistress, Ayn about the second mistress. Ayn was, of course, cool with it, being a good objectivist. However, she exiled Branden from her presence, and the presence of her objective followers, for intellectual heresy. No way the excommunication was for hurting her feelings, being an objective person and all, it was definitely for his faulty and nonobjective premises and conclusions... Anyways, that has nothing to do with this book, which was written after Branden's banishment. Branden bored me with his rephrasing and quoting of Rand, his contradictions (e.g. after saying one can repress thoughts but not feelings, he later talks about repressing feelings), and his just completely dumb statements (like saying there is no such thing as human instinct; sexuality is learned). I just really did not enjoy this at all. It is one of the books that makes me wish I could abandon books. Boring imitation of Ayn Rand.
September 7, 2017
This book is more of philosophy than psychology. It's essence can me summarized in one sentence - Man can lively rightly only when he lives by reason. The author is able to communicate with great conviction that there is no religion great than man' consciousness led by reason. To live rationally means to to live happily. To live irrationally means to take a road to self destruction. The author also emphasizes that human is the only species that can make a choice - whether to think or not to think... Whether to live by reason or be guided by emotions and feelings. I personally feel that living by reason in absolute sense is impossible. Man is not infallible. But one's motive should be to live a rational life guided by reason as best as one can. I agree with the author's belief that the degree to which man earns his self esteem depends upon the degree to which he is able to use his power to think to do a right thing. It does not happen automatically. It takes effort and could even be a challenge sometimes. But all the good things in the world come with a price. That is what makes them worthwhile.
February 14, 2021
I recognize this book's importance as a piece of historical psychological literature, however, he addresses psychological theories in a way that dehumanises the audience that would most need this kind of book.
As somone who often suffers from low self esteem this felt like theories from textbook (which as a psychology student I have quite enough of) not a self-help book, It tells you things you have probably already heard or know, although I understand it was first published in 1969 and what was out in the field was different then. However it felt insensitive and unhelpful, like a mechanical theory machine, and was tedious to get through.
I considered a 2 star but felt 1 star was more suitable as for me at least it was a waste of time. Before you read this book it is import to understand it is theory book not a self-help book, but feel free to give it a go if that is what you're looking for.
As somone who often suffers from low self esteem this felt like theories from textbook (which as a psychology student I have quite enough of) not a self-help book, It tells you things you have probably already heard or know, although I understand it was first published in 1969 and what was out in the field was different then. However it felt insensitive and unhelpful, like a mechanical theory machine, and was tedious to get through.
I considered a 2 star but felt 1 star was more suitable as for me at least it was a waste of time. Before you read this book it is import to understand it is theory book not a self-help book, but feel free to give it a go if that is what you're looking for.
August 26, 2013
Though this book was written after Ayn Rand's denunciation of Nathaniel Branden, at least he pursued the Objectivist fundamental idea. Mostly, this book talks and quoted Ayn Rands metaphysic, and epistemology. Likewise, expounded the history of psychology and identifying laws, and nature of man.
It elucidate that the potential significance of a self-conscious being thoughts or actions necessitates the need for the development of logical order of the conceptual frame of reference. If you have the ability to be aware of yourself, there is the continual need for you to have it "make sense", otherwise, the state of self awareness would have no personal meaning. If you're self conscious, you need an organized way to account for and plan your behavior: thoughts, and actions, in order to mean anything.
It elucidate that the potential significance of a self-conscious being thoughts or actions necessitates the need for the development of logical order of the conceptual frame of reference. If you have the ability to be aware of yourself, there is the continual need for you to have it "make sense", otherwise, the state of self awareness would have no personal meaning. If you're self conscious, you need an organized way to account for and plan your behavior: thoughts, and actions, in order to mean anything.
February 23, 2024
نمیدونم جز کتابهای زرد حساب میشه یا نه؟ یک مقدار شبیه تئوری انتخاب میگفت که خودت باید عزت نفس رو انتخاب تا احساس رضایت از خودت رو هم داشته باشی. یه چیزایی ازش یاد گرفتم پس بدردنخور حساب نمیشه.
October 26, 2022
نویسنده به چهار سوال پاسخ میدهد: عزت نفس چیست؟ چرا مهم است؟ چگونه می توان آن را افزایش داد؟ دیگران در ایجاد آن چه نقشی دارند؟
" خلاصه خوانی "
۴ آبان ۱۴۰۱
" خلاصه خوانی "
۴ آبان ۱۴۰۱
September 10, 2012
A highly flawed book on self-esteem. Probably a better title would be The Psychology of Objectivism. Self-esteem, in this book, is more like personal empowerment, specifically the kind that Objectivists value. The author is extremely judgmental and annoyingly sexist. I'm not even hugely sensitive to that sort of thing. He just comes across as an arrogant pig. Once you get past all that, he makes a decent case for self-awareness, acceptance, and reason for making individuals more stable and happy, but he doesn't say much about how you do that. He mostly just bitches about all the parasites in the world.
This book belabors every point it makes. I can summarize the entire book in one paragraph: "Ayn Rand is awesome. Human beings are awesome because they have the capacity for reason. Most people suck because they don't exercise that capacity, and leach off of everyone else. Cool people accept reality and apply reason to make their lives better, thereby gaining confidence in their ability to handle whatever life throws at them. Ayn Rand is such a person. Did I mention Ayn Rand is awesome?"
Do yourself a favor and stick to cognitive psychology. You'll get the same benefits, without all the elitism, and with more specific guidance for how to actually apply it to your life.
This book belabors every point it makes. I can summarize the entire book in one paragraph: "Ayn Rand is awesome. Human beings are awesome because they have the capacity for reason. Most people suck because they don't exercise that capacity, and leach off of everyone else. Cool people accept reality and apply reason to make their lives better, thereby gaining confidence in their ability to handle whatever life throws at them. Ayn Rand is such a person. Did I mention Ayn Rand is awesome?"
Do yourself a favor and stick to cognitive psychology. You'll get the same benefits, without all the elitism, and with more specific guidance for how to actually apply it to your life.
December 4, 2014
In a strange collision of Jung and Norse mythology, a new way of looking at psychology was born in the 1900's. The emerging way of thinking was nothing new, but something that had been lost since the days of Aristotle: "The mission of your life is to find happiness. Not for others, or abstract principles, but for yourself."
This "selfish" take on psychology is constantly attacked by altruists and other schools of philosophy and psychology. But does that mater? Does popular belief trump truth? That's what this book is about: should you conform to popular systems of thought? Should you devote yourself to the whims and preferences of others? Or should you serve yourself?
That's what this book deals with. From the Aristotilian school of thought, Branden reforges this into a method for the modern day. It's a powerful indictment of so much of what we are taught, and what we believe. I recommend this book to anyone who is new to the study of Ayn Rand, Psychology, or just trying to find answers. This book is repetitive for those who have already transcended popular thought to standing up for yourself.
This "selfish" take on psychology is constantly attacked by altruists and other schools of philosophy and psychology. But does that mater? Does popular belief trump truth? That's what this book is about: should you conform to popular systems of thought? Should you devote yourself to the whims and preferences of others? Or should you serve yourself?
That's what this book deals with. From the Aristotilian school of thought, Branden reforges this into a method for the modern day. It's a powerful indictment of so much of what we are taught, and what we believe. I recommend this book to anyone who is new to the study of Ayn Rand, Psychology, or just trying to find answers. This book is repetitive for those who have already transcended popular thought to standing up for yourself.
September 18, 2018
Really worth a read, I would say.
I thoroughly enjoy thoughts that are unashamedly logical, reasonable and contradictory to what people usually want to think of themselves, and this book is full of them. He approaches the concept of self-esteem on a very practical level from multiple angles, in a way that, by the end of this book, you know you are more self-aware than before you read the book.
His speech has a very cohesive and fulfilling tone. He brings clarity to the conversation and the whole book flows easily, even though it is of the non-fiction psychology genre, which would generally mean a less easily digestible book.
There have been many moments in the book that I will remember, because he made me think differently and judge more holistically. He brings up examples of how a person with high self-esteem acts, and I appreciate those as propositions of how to think of yourself and your life. They help to keep you accountable as to whether you are in a good place mentally or not and if not, to go about improving that for yourself.
I thoroughly enjoy thoughts that are unashamedly logical, reasonable and contradictory to what people usually want to think of themselves, and this book is full of them. He approaches the concept of self-esteem on a very practical level from multiple angles, in a way that, by the end of this book, you know you are more self-aware than before you read the book.
His speech has a very cohesive and fulfilling tone. He brings clarity to the conversation and the whole book flows easily, even though it is of the non-fiction psychology genre, which would generally mean a less easily digestible book.
There have been many moments in the book that I will remember, because he made me think differently and judge more holistically. He brings up examples of how a person with high self-esteem acts, and I appreciate those as propositions of how to think of yourself and your life. They help to keep you accountable as to whether you are in a good place mentally or not and if not, to go about improving that for yourself.
July 28, 2009
I found the book hard to read because of its heavy use of jargon and its philosophical interpretations. I guess reading other books of the author before this one is necessary.
January 20, 2024
Good read highlighting the importance of ones internal state and physiological health - and how to keep it in control and master it for the better for a real fulfilled reality and life which is in line with your genuine beliefs and wants - not that of other or values not true to you ...not settling or losing faith in ones own ability and gut feelings by suppressing fears or other negative emotions like guilt - but rather take responsibility and control of how you feel
To Our Continued Success!
Seemy
Waseem.tv/Blog
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To Our Continued Success!
Seemy
Waseem.tv/Blog
👆🏼 P.S -
If you found this review helpful - I’d like to invite you to discover more on our blog. Where the community share some of our most important insights to level up each others knowledge 💡- from experience in studying books like this, training programs, podcasts and much more - visit the blog link above to find out more.
P.P.S 😅 - You probably noticed from my profile that I’ve reviewed a LOT of books over the years now - if you love seeking knowledge like me I’d love to connect with you further as a like minded person (send me a friend invite! 😀) - Also if you are curious - here is my preferred and recommended resource for seeking timeless wisdom - Check it out via the website invite link below 👇🏼 (You’ll be able to claim some awesome books for free 📚)
https://Waseem.tv/GoodReadsBookInvite
June 5, 2012
Branden uses objectivist philosophy as the basis for a theory of self-esteem. Lots of piercing insight into human psychology all tied together with logical thread. Unnecessarily moralistic in parts, but left me eager to read some of his more focused and mature writings.
December 10, 2008
An interesting book. It let me explore a different view of self-esteem for myself and others.
July 18, 2012
Very useful and accessible, very logical!
March 11, 2015
well Branden never mentioned the personality or the temperament in the formation of self esteem!I can't say that self esteem is a solely rational and emotional matter!
June 16, 2015
My other of nathaniels books and just as good a read as the 6 pillars after reading 6 pillars first...I have this on audio and have listened over and over and it's helped me tremendously
Read
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~}- - - - - - - - - - - - - -:}|{:- - - - - - - - - - - - - -{~
* -:}|{:- * RATING * -:}|{:- * /10 * -:}|{:- *
~}- - - - - - - - - - - - - -:}|{:- - - - - - - - - - - - - -{~
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* -} https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4VWrl... {- *
* -:}|{}|{:=:}|{}|{:- *
* -} Gestalt Psychology Simplified with Examples and Principles {- *
* -:}|{}|{: = MY SYNTHESISED ( ^ GESTALT ^ ) OF THE * -:}|{}|{:=:}|{}|{:- * ( WAY THE AUTHOR FRAMES = HIS WRITING PERSPECTIVES ) & ( POINTERS & IMPLICATIONS = the conclusion that can be drawn IMPLICITYLY from something although it is not EXPLICITLY stated ) = :}|{}|{:- *
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To SEE a WORLD in a Grain of Sand,
And a HEAVEN in a Wild Flower,
Hold INFINITY in the palm of your hand
And ETERNITY in an Hour"
~ William Blake ~
~}- - - - - - - - - - - - - -:}|{:- - - - - - - - - - - - - -{~
“Wisdom tells me I am nothing. Love tells me I am everything. And between the two my life flows.” Nisargadatta Maharaj
~}- - - - - - - - - - - - - -:}|{:- - - - - - - - - - - - - -{~
Form is Emptiness; Emptiness is form.
Form is not different than Emptiness;
Emptiness is not different than form
~ Heart Sutra ~
Like the ocean and its waves,
inseparable yet distinct
~}- - - - - - - - - - - - - -:}|{:- - - - - - - - - - - - - -{~
" I and The Father are one,
I am The Truth,
The Life and The Path.”
Like a river flowing from its source,
connected and continuous
~}- - - - - - - - - - - - - -:}|{:- - - - - - - - - - - - - -{~
Thy kingdom come.
Let the reign of divine
Truth, Life, and Love
be established in me,
and rule out of me all sin;
and may Thy Word
enrich the affections of all mankind
A mighty oak tree standing firm against the storm,
As sunlight scatters the shadows of night
A river nourishing the land it flows through
~}- - - - - - - - - - - - - -:}|{:- - - - - - - - - - - - - -{~
~}-:}|{:-:}|{:-:}|{:-:}|{:-:}|{:-:}|{:-:}|{:-:}|{:-:}|{:-:}|{:-{~
~}-:}|{:-:}|{:-:}|{:-:}|{:-:}|{:-:}|{:-:}|{:-:}|{:-:}|{:-:}|{:-{~
~}--- :}|{:-:}|{:- * FOLLOW 4 FOLLOW * -:}|{:-:}|{: ---{~
~}-:}|{:-:}|{:-:}|{:-:}|{:-:}|{:-:}|{:-:}|{:-:}|{:-:}|{:-:}|{:-{~
~}--------:}|{:-:}|{:- * LINKS * -:}|{:-:}|{:----------{~
~}-:}|{:-:}|{:-:}|{:-:}|{:-:}|{:-:}|{:-:}|{:-:}|{:-:}|{:-:}|{:-{~
~}- - - - - - - - - - - - - -:}|{:- - - - - - - - - - - - - -{~
***********************************************
~} * -:}|{}|{:=:}|{}|{:- * - * -:}|{}|{:=:}|{}|{:- * {~
* -} {- *
~} * -:}|{}|{:=:}|{}|{:- * - * -:}|{}|{:=:}|{}|{:- * {~
* -:}|{}|{:=:}|{}|{:- *
* -:}|{}|{:- ^ AUDIOBOOK ^ -:}|{}|{:- *
~}- - - - - - - - - - - - - -:}|{:- - - - - - - - - - - - - -{~
~}-:}|{:-:}|{:-:}|{:-:}|{:-:}|{:-:}|{:-:}|{:-:}|{:-:}|{:-:}|{:-{~
~}- - - - - - - - - - - - - -:}|{:- - - - - - - - - - - - - -{~
* -:}|{}|{:- * SUMMARY * -:}|{}|{:- *
~}- - - - - - - - - - - - - -:}|{:- - - - - - - - - - - - - -{~
* -:}|{:- * RATING * -:}|{:- * /10 * -:}|{:- *
~}- - - - - - - - - - - - - -:}|{:- - - - - - - - - - - - - -{~
* -:}|{}|{: =EXPERIENCES=&=DISCERNMENTS= :}|{}|{:- *
* -:}|{}|{: = = }|{}|{:- *
~}- - - - - - - - - - - - - -:}|{:- - - - - - - - - - - - - -{~
* -} https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4VWrl... {- *
* -:}|{}|{:=:}|{}|{:- *
* -} Gestalt Psychology Simplified with Examples and Principles {- *
* -:}|{}|{: = MY SYNTHESISED ( ^ GESTALT ^ ) OF THE * -:}|{}|{:=:}|{}|{:- * ( WAY THE AUTHOR FRAMES = HIS WRITING PERSPECTIVES ) & ( POINTERS & IMPLICATIONS = the conclusion that can be drawn IMPLICITYLY from something although it is not EXPLICITLY stated ) = :}|{}|{:- *
* -:}|{}|{: = ? = }|{}|{:- *
~}- - - - - - - - - - - - - -:}|{:- - - - - - - - - - - - - -{~
~}-:}|{:-:}|{:-:}|{:-:}|{:-:}|{:-:}|{:-:}|{:-:}|{:-:}|{:-:}|{:-{~
~}- - - - - - - - - - - - - -:}|{:- - - - - - - - - - - - - -{~
To SEE a WORLD in a Grain of Sand,
And a HEAVEN in a Wild Flower,
Hold INFINITY in the palm of your hand
And ETERNITY in an Hour"
~ William Blake ~
~}- - - - - - - - - - - - - -:}|{:- - - - - - - - - - - - - -{~
“Wisdom tells me I am nothing. Love tells me I am everything. And between the two my life flows.” Nisargadatta Maharaj
~}- - - - - - - - - - - - - -:}|{:- - - - - - - - - - - - - -{~
Form is Emptiness; Emptiness is form.
Form is not different than Emptiness;
Emptiness is not different than form
~ Heart Sutra ~
Like the ocean and its waves,
inseparable yet distinct
~}- - - - - - - - - - - - - -:}|{:- - - - - - - - - - - - - -{~
" I and The Father are one,
I am The Truth,
The Life and The Path.”
Like a river flowing from its source,
connected and continuous
~}- - - - - - - - - - - - - -:}|{:- - - - - - - - - - - - - -{~
Thy kingdom come.
Let the reign of divine
Truth, Life, and Love
be established in me,
and rule out of me all sin;
and may Thy Word
enrich the affections of all mankind
A mighty oak tree standing firm against the storm,
As sunlight scatters the shadows of night
A river nourishing the land it flows through
~}- - - - - - - - - - - - - -:}|{:- - - - - - - - - - - - - -{~
~}-:}|{:-:}|{:-:}|{:-:}|{:-:}|{:-:}|{:-:}|{:-:}|{:-:}|{:-:}|{:-{~
April 13, 2024
Out of the two books of his that I’ve read so far, this one is my favorite. The six Pilar’s of self esteem is a good starting place to understand the foundation and definition of what exactly it is, however this book gives an in-depth explanation of why and what contributes to building one’s self esteem.
I like how the author frames self esteem as something that everyone has but the emotions & behavior that steam from what level a person possesses is different. Although ideas can be shared, thinking is an independent practice. You can’t think for someone or come to conclusions for them.
The author also frames mental disorders as thinking disorders, meaning there’s an issue with the way someone come to conclusions and ultimately makes decisions..
Further more the concept of mental health is how an individual processes the reality they face and the circumstances they experience. “What is repressed, can not be resolved.”
Next, Pseudo-self-esteem is also a concept that was defined and explored in this book, which from my understanding is similar to the experience of imposter syndrome and how individuals can attempt to use others to fill “the void” but the internal conflict continues.
Lastly, I appreciate the fact that it touches on self esteeem and how it shows up in choice or romantic relationships and partners. I also appreciate that the book touches on sexuality and how sex/orgasm are at the height of self expression/pleasure and what that ultimately says about individuals when they take the time to reflect on their deepest desires.
Overall, the psychology of self esteem is a great book for anyone looking to better understand and develop the mind and appreciate further the power of self esteem & how to meet one’s needs.
I like how the author frames self esteem as something that everyone has but the emotions & behavior that steam from what level a person possesses is different. Although ideas can be shared, thinking is an independent practice. You can’t think for someone or come to conclusions for them.
The author also frames mental disorders as thinking disorders, meaning there’s an issue with the way someone come to conclusions and ultimately makes decisions..
Further more the concept of mental health is how an individual processes the reality they face and the circumstances they experience. “What is repressed, can not be resolved.”
Next, Pseudo-self-esteem is also a concept that was defined and explored in this book, which from my understanding is similar to the experience of imposter syndrome and how individuals can attempt to use others to fill “the void” but the internal conflict continues.
Lastly, I appreciate the fact that it touches on self esteeem and how it shows up in choice or romantic relationships and partners. I also appreciate that the book touches on sexuality and how sex/orgasm are at the height of self expression/pleasure and what that ultimately says about individuals when they take the time to reflect on their deepest desires.
Overall, the psychology of self esteem is a great book for anyone looking to better understand and develop the mind and appreciate further the power of self esteem & how to meet one’s needs.
March 3, 2017
I've always wondered that after my episodes of mental instability when I was a child, I grew up to be a person comfortable in my own skin. Of course, I am hypocritical at times, but I recognize these interruptions and have tried to be as sincere to myself as possible.
It's only today that I've found out why my mind was stable despite me eschewing most society: my parents practiced what they preached, and left me with a stable Parental ego state, and I was a natural thinker and knowledge-hoarder. After my parents stabilized my personality and gave me the capability to mature comfortably, I accumulated knowledge about others - and myself. Finally, I usually never acted on the bases of emotions, because I observed other people being brought to ruin because of their catering to their impulses.
'A man's moral worth is not to be judged by the content of his emotions; it is to be judged by the degree of his rationality: only the latter is directly in his volitional control.' (p. 86)
To be honest, I'm a bit anal. That's why I hoard knowledge. But that's also led me to be careful with making decisions: I have to be rational, after all. Branden continues: '[O]ne of the strongest protections against repression is a man's conviction that he will not act on an emotion merely because he feels it; this allows him to identify his emotions calmly and to determine their justification without fear or guilt.' (p. 87)
The fact that it took and takes me time to assess all variables prior to making a decision most of the time has helped me immensely. I've allowed my predilection to think in principles to drift toward self-analysis - and Branden wrote that 'maturity is evidenced by the ability to think in principles about oneself.'
But I didn't know I had good self-esteem until I read: '[I]f a man is to achieve and maintain self-esteem, the first and fundamental requirement is that he preserve an indomitable will to understand. The desire for clarity, for intelligibility, for comprehension of that which falls within the range of his awareness, is the guardian of man's mental health and the motor of his intellectual growth. (p.115)'
I'm really grateful that I'm an INTP. That's our raison d'etre, after all.
I still had lapses, however, where I felt that I wasn't up to par. Reading the works of Berne, Harris, and Fromm, however, helped me to understand that the idea of perfectionism that I had inculcated was altogether wrong. It is impossible for man to be omniscient, because man is not God. 'I should have been smarter, but I'm not.' As I forgave myself with the help of my family and friends, I have learned to enjoy a more fulfilling life. Branden defines rational perfection not as omniscience: '[A] rational standard of moral perfection demands that a man use his mind to the fullest extent of his ability, that he practice an unbreached rationality; it does not demand omniscience, omnipotence, or infallibility. (p. 127)'
Adaptive perfectionism is not aiming for a score of 100, and then beating ourselves up for not achieving it: it's aiming for a score of 90, and accepting that scores slightly lesser are just all right. When I finally understood I wasn't Superman, I loved myself more.
This book was extremely enlightening, and a salient read. My only problem was that in the last chapters Branden expounds on Rand's derivative Objectivism. Sites and people more capable than I am have dismantled her arguments and her philosophy, so I leave that for you to look up, but here's a good start. It's nevertheless a great book.
It's only today that I've found out why my mind was stable despite me eschewing most society: my parents practiced what they preached, and left me with a stable Parental ego state, and I was a natural thinker and knowledge-hoarder. After my parents stabilized my personality and gave me the capability to mature comfortably, I accumulated knowledge about others - and myself. Finally, I usually never acted on the bases of emotions, because I observed other people being brought to ruin because of their catering to their impulses.
'A man's moral worth is not to be judged by the content of his emotions; it is to be judged by the degree of his rationality: only the latter is directly in his volitional control.' (p. 86)
To be honest, I'm a bit anal. That's why I hoard knowledge. But that's also led me to be careful with making decisions: I have to be rational, after all. Branden continues: '[O]ne of the strongest protections against repression is a man's conviction that he will not act on an emotion merely because he feels it; this allows him to identify his emotions calmly and to determine their justification without fear or guilt.' (p. 87)
The fact that it took and takes me time to assess all variables prior to making a decision most of the time has helped me immensely. I've allowed my predilection to think in principles to drift toward self-analysis - and Branden wrote that 'maturity is evidenced by the ability to think in principles about oneself.'
But I didn't know I had good self-esteem until I read: '[I]f a man is to achieve and maintain self-esteem, the first and fundamental requirement is that he preserve an indomitable will to understand. The desire for clarity, for intelligibility, for comprehension of that which falls within the range of his awareness, is the guardian of man's mental health and the motor of his intellectual growth. (p.115)'
I'm really grateful that I'm an INTP. That's our raison d'etre, after all.
I still had lapses, however, where I felt that I wasn't up to par. Reading the works of Berne, Harris, and Fromm, however, helped me to understand that the idea of perfectionism that I had inculcated was altogether wrong. It is impossible for man to be omniscient, because man is not God. 'I should have been smarter, but I'm not.' As I forgave myself with the help of my family and friends, I have learned to enjoy a more fulfilling life. Branden defines rational perfection not as omniscience: '[A] rational standard of moral perfection demands that a man use his mind to the fullest extent of his ability, that he practice an unbreached rationality; it does not demand omniscience, omnipotence, or infallibility. (p. 127)'
Adaptive perfectionism is not aiming for a score of 100, and then beating ourselves up for not achieving it: it's aiming for a score of 90, and accepting that scores slightly lesser are just all right. When I finally understood I wasn't Superman, I loved myself more.
This book was extremely enlightening, and a salient read. My only problem was that in the last chapters Branden expounds on Rand's derivative Objectivism. Sites and people more capable than I am have dismantled her arguments and her philosophy, so I leave that for you to look up, but here's a good start. It's nevertheless a great book.
February 26, 2024
این کتاب شامل سه بخش هستش که
بخشِ اولش در مورد عزتِ نفسِ اصول اولیه اس که شامل مواردی مثل نظام ایمنی آگاهی، معنای عزت نفس، چهره ی عزت نفس، توهم عزت نفس هست.
توی بخش اول به صورتِ کامل و جامع به این مسائل می پردازه که داشتنِ عزت نفس چقدر می تونه روی زندگی انسان ها و یا آدمها، اثرگذاریِ مثبت و فوق العاده ای داشته باشه.
عَکسِش رو هم می گه که فقدانِ عزت نفس چقدر می تونه اثر گذاریِ منفی رو داشته باشه و یکسری راهکارها هم ارائه می ده🪷✨🕊
بخش دومِ این کتاب که مربوط به عوامل درونی عزت نفس می شه رو به این مباحث می پردازه:
توجه به عمل، زندگیِ آگاهانه، خودپذیری، مسئولیت در قبال خود، ابراز وجود، زندگیِ هدفمند، یکپارچیِ شخصی و در آخر فلسفه ی عزت نفس
توی این بخش میاد از اثرات تربیتِ والدین حرف می زنه و میاد در مورد مفاهیم مربوط به عزت نفس حرف می زنه با ارائه ی تمریناتی برای بالا بردن عزت نفس
بخش سومِش مربوط به نقش عوامل بیرونی: خود و دیگران می شه که شامل این موضوعات رو می شه:
تقویت عزت نفس کودک، عزت نفس در مدارس، عزت نفس و کار، عزت نفس و روان درمانی و در آخر عزت نفس و فرهنگ مطرحشون می کنه.
مثلا با چه کارهایی می شه عزت نفس کودک رو بالا برد، معلمان و یا آموزگاران با چه کارهایی می تونن عزت نفس دانس آموزان رو بالا ببرن، توی کار چه جوری کارفرمایان و یا رُئَسا زمینه ای رو برای بالا بردن عزت نفس به وجود بیارن و ...
بخشهایی از کتاب که خیلی خوشم اومده:
در تمام جوامعی که می شناسیم، زنان را در مقایسه با مردان، دست کم می گیرند و آنها را به دیده ی کمتری می بینند.
بسیاری از ادیان و مذاهب هم به کمتری زن، اشاره می کنند.
بخشِ اولش در مورد عزتِ نفسِ اصول اولیه اس که شامل مواردی مثل نظام ایمنی آگاهی، معنای عزت نفس، چهره ی عزت نفس، توهم عزت نفس هست.
توی بخش اول به صورتِ کامل و جامع به این مسائل می پردازه که داشتنِ عزت نفس چقدر می تونه روی زندگی انسان ها و یا آدمها، اثرگذاریِ مثبت و فوق العاده ای داشته باشه.
عَکسِش رو هم می گه که فقدانِ عزت نفس چقدر می تونه اثر گذاریِ منفی رو داشته باشه و یکسری راهکارها هم ارائه می ده🪷✨🕊
بخش دومِ این کتاب که مربوط به عوامل درونی عزت نفس می شه رو به این مباحث می پردازه:
توجه به عمل، زندگیِ آگاهانه، خودپذیری، مسئولیت در قبال خود، ابراز وجود، زندگیِ هدفمند، یکپارچیِ شخصی و در آخر فلسفه ی عزت نفس
توی این بخش میاد از اثرات تربیتِ والدین حرف می زنه و میاد در مورد مفاهیم مربوط به عزت نفس حرف می زنه با ارائه ی تمریناتی برای بالا بردن عزت نفس
بخش سومِش مربوط به نقش عوامل بیرونی: خود و دیگران می شه که شامل این موضوعات رو می شه:
تقویت عزت نفس کودک، عزت نفس در مدارس، عزت نفس و کار، عزت نفس و روان درمانی و در آخر عزت نفس و فرهنگ مطرحشون می کنه.
مثلا با چه کارهایی می شه عزت نفس کودک رو بالا برد، معلمان و یا آموزگاران با چه کارهایی می تونن عزت نفس دانس آموزان رو بالا ببرن، توی کار چه جوری کارفرمایان و یا رُئَسا زمینه ای رو برای بالا بردن عزت نفس به وجود بیارن و ...
بخشهایی از کتاب که خیلی خوشم اومده:
در تمام جوامعی که می شناسیم، زنان را در مقایسه با مردان، دست کم می گیرند و آنها را به دیده ی کمتری می بینند.
بسیاری از ادیان و مذاهب هم به کمتری زن، اشاره می کنند.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
July 23, 2021
What an extraordinary book! Dr Branden covers everything from definition of the science of psychology, it's morality in the context of mental health, the differences in its function from animals to man, to uncovering its unique role in man's mind and the disastrous consequences should man default on his cognitive responsibilities.
It is a comprehensive book way ahead of its time, of which i will require multiple re-reads. I suspect that some people may not understand his writings because the only way to understand his theories on consciousness is by means of introspection; i.e. reference to your own consciousness, no other way is possible.
Overall he is extremely concise, explicit, and he took it upon himself to lay a solid foundation for this subject by answering and clarifying the most challenging misconceptions on this field, even with respect to emotions and its place in rational thought. Most parts of this book i have had to pause to contemplate and fully understand what he means before i could move on.
Extremely under-rated, outstanding work. This book receives my highest possible recommendation
It is a comprehensive book way ahead of its time, of which i will require multiple re-reads. I suspect that some people may not understand his writings because the only way to understand his theories on consciousness is by means of introspection; i.e. reference to your own consciousness, no other way is possible.
Overall he is extremely concise, explicit, and he took it upon himself to lay a solid foundation for this subject by answering and clarifying the most challenging misconceptions on this field, even with respect to emotions and its place in rational thought. Most parts of this book i have had to pause to contemplate and fully understand what he means before i could move on.
Extremely under-rated, outstanding work. This book receives my highest possible recommendation
December 21, 2024
Similar idea to what Marcus Aurelius talks about in meditations. Aurelius said “the soul is dyed by the color of your thoughts” and this book reinforces that. Good self esteem encourages one to strive towards a better life and achieve goals. Working on self improvement and towards challenging goals keeps your self esteem healthy and is a basic need that we must exercise in order to have a fulfilling life. Motivation and self esteem are positively correlated. First half of book is kinda slow but second half makes it very much worth the read. We have autonomy over our thoughts and self esteem. Romantic love is a direct reflection of self esteem. The love you accept is a mirror of how you value yourself. People will only treat you poorly if you let them and show a track record of allowing that type of treatment.
August 16, 2018
This is a superb work. Those who rated it poorly didn’t finish it, didn’t understand it, or took its lessons as personal affronts to their character.
Part 1 is the most concise and precise explanation of then foundations of psychology. What is consciousness? What differentiates man from animal? What role do values and emotions play in the development of our self-image and identity? Nathaniel Branden takes it upon himself to ask and answer the most challenging of questions.
Branden is an Objectivist, and he makes more than one reference to Ayn Rand and her philosophy. He’s also incredibly explicit in his diction and the reader is challenged to comprehend and contemplate exactly what Branden means all the way.
Read it and you’ll feel proud.
Part 1 is the most concise and precise explanation of then foundations of psychology. What is consciousness? What differentiates man from animal? What role do values and emotions play in the development of our self-image and identity? Nathaniel Branden takes it upon himself to ask and answer the most challenging of questions.
Branden is an Objectivist, and he makes more than one reference to Ayn Rand and her philosophy. He’s also incredibly explicit in his diction and the reader is challenged to comprehend and contemplate exactly what Branden means all the way.
Read it and you’ll feel proud.
October 29, 2021
This was a doozy and took me a long time because it was so repetitive. I skimmed the epilogue after the first two pages because it seemed to literally just repeat the entire book. Honestly the entire book can boil down to: Self-Esteem is good. Religion is bad. Be a Vulcan and you'll be happier because only pure reason and intellect can create self-esteem. It relied too heavily on Randian philosophy and, just like Rand herself, the author claims to love humanity but his rhetoric seems to say the opposite. I can't say I'd recommend spending too much time on this.
August 17, 2021
I listened to over half of the audiobook, but eventually figured it was just a waste of time to keep going. The book is full of outdated psychological ideas, and Branden's style of writing and narration were so dry I just kept zoning out. Add to that the fact he hadn't yet started to distance himself from Ayn Rand's ideas and kept quoting them... Yup, not for me, not even as a curiosity piece to put on my reading resumé
September 22, 2021
There are some very interesting things in this book, it can be a bit wordy and seeming to drag on a bit in the beginning but it all starts to come together very well if you can make it to the middle of the book once all the initial concepts are laid out. I wish there where more elaboration of the conclusions in the end of the book which I didn't want to end but it is still very relevant and I will be revisiting this in the future.
March 23, 2022
Man is born with needs, but is not born with the knowledge of those needs and how to satisfy them. This is where the mind and thinking comes into play. We choose whether to think or not to think. We can either just act or think and then act. Humans use reason. We choose how we are going to react to a situation or an idea. We choose whether to be in awareness or to evade.
This is a fantastic incite into our humanity of self-esteem.
This is a fantastic incite into our humanity of self-esteem.
September 13, 2022
A reason why I despise self-help books is that they touch on a topic very superficially. They do not seem to provide an actual rooted analysis of a problem, or perhaps if they provide a solution, it is only a solution (most of them) of shoving it under a rug. I did not read many self-help books, but upon the few that I read or read about them, they follow this pattern.
This book is a mixture of self-help and psychology but neither of these is superficial or trivial. This book bases psychology upon an assertion that man possesses a rational faculty. Self-esteem is not some unknowable force that exerts upon an individual, and its solutions are not about the basic practice of not doing this but doing that and what-not on an outer level. Self-esteem results from your thinking, it is on a deeper level, hence its solution is about doing x instead y—the problem—on a deeper level. If you only try to fix whatever psychological problems you have without going through your thinking and your principles in terms of metaphysical assumptions, your psycho-epistemology, and your morality, it is merely a short outcome that you are getting. Self-esteem here is based on Ayn Rand’s view of man. He is not wrong when Leonard Peikoff used to say that philosophy is the basis of everything. Philosophy shapes your psychology, and from that, you can extract things such as self-esteem, pride, honesty, and all these virtues.
Nathaniel Branden emphasizes the notion of free will. Unlike other psychologists, whose never-ending false claims on man’s rational faculty and free will. Nathaniel Branden’s epistemological method goes this way: Since man is a rational being —containing a higher level of consciousness, and not in the sense that every man is rational— he can think. And so as long as he CHOOSES to think (free will rests here. Free will is inherent in thinking. Man is free to think or to evade the choice of thinking), man can formulate rational philosophy based on reason and logic. When a man believes in the idea that he, himself, can possess reason, make his own decisions, thinks for himself, and innovate, it is that which he starts to see the self-esteem. Self-esteem is related to other virtues, such as independence, pride, productiveness, honesty, and integration. You will realize that an integrated man is independent, productive, and an honest man. Unless he is filled with contradictions, to which self-esteem is nothing but jargon.
Nathaniel Branden goes on to explain the different types of self-esteem (or Psuedo-self-esteem), and that is when one man gains his self-esteem and confidence by evading reality, dishonesty (to reach certain ends such as fame, money, love), and through a mystic source. Our vision of understanding ourselves lies in our way to think and what kind of thoughts and principles we do think. Pathological anxiety and depression are a result of evasion of reality. Anxiety rests on deep conflicts in a man, depression is the resignation of defeat. Pathological anxiety is a man’s protector (just like the normal anxiety which detects danger in reality). “If a man defaults on the responsibility of reason, then his self-betrayed ego is his avenger.” It is important to recognize the need for self-esteem, without it, man can do nothing and be nothing. Man cannot gain pride if one is not confident. And the best way to help yourself is by understanding your thoughts, your subconsciousness, and your emotions.
Emotions are not mystically derived and there is no dichotomy between mind and emotions. Emotions are the result of your thoughts. Some emotions are more complex than others, and it requires a great understanding of one’s self. Ask yourself, why do you love or hate a certain thing/idea? Why do you get angry on this matter and sad on another? What produces those emotions? So as long as man does not prioritize emotions above his mind and makes it a tool for gaining knowledge (Subjectivists and mystics), he will use emotions to understand his thoughts and his subconscious. Emotions are an effect, and their cause must therefore lie in your mind, your principles, and the concepts you posses. If there is an object that a man hates and another man loves, the object remains the same but these two men possess different mindsets and ideas that resulted in different reactions.
As Nathaniel Branden puts it: “Confidence is the confidence of knowing that one places no value or consideration higher than reality. The basic self-confidence is not a judgment passed on one’s skills, it is a judgment passed on THAT which acquire knowledge or skills.”
An important thing that shapes our thinking is our metaphysics. Nathaniel goes on to explain the different types of social metaphysics and their result in man’s actions. If one wants to view himself accordingly and with high self-esteem, one must find the roots of his thinking (philosophy) and change them.
What I like about Ayn Rand is that her philosophy is complete and integrated. Knowledge is spiral and does not contradict one another. Philosophy is the basis of all things, psychology is after. Psychology, philosophy, and other sciences must possess an integration, that is an integration of knowledge. A healthy mind is nothing but healthy thinking and philosophy, and a healthy body is but a healthy mind.
The last thing he talked about is romantic love. His idea of romantic love is also similar to Ayn Rand’s view.
This book is a mixture of self-help and psychology but neither of these is superficial or trivial. This book bases psychology upon an assertion that man possesses a rational faculty. Self-esteem is not some unknowable force that exerts upon an individual, and its solutions are not about the basic practice of not doing this but doing that and what-not on an outer level. Self-esteem results from your thinking, it is on a deeper level, hence its solution is about doing x instead y—the problem—on a deeper level. If you only try to fix whatever psychological problems you have without going through your thinking and your principles in terms of metaphysical assumptions, your psycho-epistemology, and your morality, it is merely a short outcome that you are getting. Self-esteem here is based on Ayn Rand’s view of man. He is not wrong when Leonard Peikoff used to say that philosophy is the basis of everything. Philosophy shapes your psychology, and from that, you can extract things such as self-esteem, pride, honesty, and all these virtues.
Nathaniel Branden emphasizes the notion of free will. Unlike other psychologists, whose never-ending false claims on man’s rational faculty and free will. Nathaniel Branden’s epistemological method goes this way: Since man is a rational being —containing a higher level of consciousness, and not in the sense that every man is rational— he can think. And so as long as he CHOOSES to think (free will rests here. Free will is inherent in thinking. Man is free to think or to evade the choice of thinking), man can formulate rational philosophy based on reason and logic. When a man believes in the idea that he, himself, can possess reason, make his own decisions, thinks for himself, and innovate, it is that which he starts to see the self-esteem. Self-esteem is related to other virtues, such as independence, pride, productiveness, honesty, and integration. You will realize that an integrated man is independent, productive, and an honest man. Unless he is filled with contradictions, to which self-esteem is nothing but jargon.
Nathaniel Branden goes on to explain the different types of self-esteem (or Psuedo-self-esteem), and that is when one man gains his self-esteem and confidence by evading reality, dishonesty (to reach certain ends such as fame, money, love), and through a mystic source. Our vision of understanding ourselves lies in our way to think and what kind of thoughts and principles we do think. Pathological anxiety and depression are a result of evasion of reality. Anxiety rests on deep conflicts in a man, depression is the resignation of defeat. Pathological anxiety is a man’s protector (just like the normal anxiety which detects danger in reality). “If a man defaults on the responsibility of reason, then his self-betrayed ego is his avenger.” It is important to recognize the need for self-esteem, without it, man can do nothing and be nothing. Man cannot gain pride if one is not confident. And the best way to help yourself is by understanding your thoughts, your subconsciousness, and your emotions.
Emotions are not mystically derived and there is no dichotomy between mind and emotions. Emotions are the result of your thoughts. Some emotions are more complex than others, and it requires a great understanding of one’s self. Ask yourself, why do you love or hate a certain thing/idea? Why do you get angry on this matter and sad on another? What produces those emotions? So as long as man does not prioritize emotions above his mind and makes it a tool for gaining knowledge (Subjectivists and mystics), he will use emotions to understand his thoughts and his subconscious. Emotions are an effect, and their cause must therefore lie in your mind, your principles, and the concepts you posses. If there is an object that a man hates and another man loves, the object remains the same but these two men possess different mindsets and ideas that resulted in different reactions.
As Nathaniel Branden puts it: “Confidence is the confidence of knowing that one places no value or consideration higher than reality. The basic self-confidence is not a judgment passed on one’s skills, it is a judgment passed on THAT which acquire knowledge or skills.”
An important thing that shapes our thinking is our metaphysics. Nathaniel goes on to explain the different types of social metaphysics and their result in man’s actions. If one wants to view himself accordingly and with high self-esteem, one must find the roots of his thinking (philosophy) and change them.
What I like about Ayn Rand is that her philosophy is complete and integrated. Knowledge is spiral and does not contradict one another. Philosophy is the basis of all things, psychology is after. Psychology, philosophy, and other sciences must possess an integration, that is an integration of knowledge. A healthy mind is nothing but healthy thinking and philosophy, and a healthy body is but a healthy mind.
The last thing he talked about is romantic love. His idea of romantic love is also similar to Ayn Rand’s view.
November 26, 2019
this book is phenomenal.very detailed and in-depth. Also very technical and requires some level of knowledge of psychology principles. This is not a pop psychology book about how to boost your self esteem. it is silly to summarize the book in points and try to live up to it. it requires deep understanding and reflection. I would say it should be read in the original language that is English
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