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Dear Cisgender People: A Guide to Trans Allyship and Empathy
Conversations on the transgender experience may be becoming more commonplace but the topic is still all too often the subject of fierce debate. But behind the shock headlines, what does it really mean to be trans?
In this powerful, extensively researched, and deeply personal memoir, Kenny Ethan Jones, trans activist and writer, offers an authentic and in-depth insight into the trans experience.
Drawing on his own experience, experts and the stories of others, Kenny unpacks the reality of living with gender dysphoria, navigating the difficult intersection of being Black and trans, the complexities of accessing gender-affirming care, the big debate about trans youth and so much more.
Dear Cisgender People is a powerful call-to-arms, equipping all its readers with the tools to step forward as allies and bring about meaningful change in creating a safer, equal and more accepting world for trans people everywhere.
In this powerful, extensively researched, and deeply personal memoir, Kenny Ethan Jones, trans activist and writer, offers an authentic and in-depth insight into the trans experience.
Drawing on his own experience, experts and the stories of others, Kenny unpacks the reality of living with gender dysphoria, navigating the difficult intersection of being Black and trans, the complexities of accessing gender-affirming care, the big debate about trans youth and so much more.
Dear Cisgender People is a powerful call-to-arms, equipping all its readers with the tools to step forward as allies and bring about meaningful change in creating a safer, equal and more accepting world for trans people everywhere.
214 pages, Kindle Edition
Published June 6, 2024
28 people are currently reading
510 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 36 reviews
June 7, 2024
I didn't know anything about the author before reading this book, and then googling his name. His experience as a transgender person is what interested me in reading this book. I wanted to learn. And, yes I did! But not only about the journey and and hurdles of the transgender community. Mr. Jones casts his umbrella wide in this memoir/manifesto/manual on life. He discusses racism, intersectionality, and went on several tangents that felt a bit like off subject tangents. Some lines are blurred throughout the book. Mr. Jones isn't always speaking to cisgender allies. Sometimes he is speaking to the transgender community. But, as this is his box to speak from, he can take the conversation where he wants and for the most part, I was interested to follow along. I did feel that the book could have used some editing. Some parts didn't flow well or were repetitive or out of order. Despite that, I only made it to page 38 before ordering a copy of this book for a friend. That tells you how insightful this book was.
Thanks to NetGalley and DK for a copy of the book. This review is my own opinion.
Thanks to NetGalley and DK for a copy of the book. This review is my own opinion.
June 20, 2024
I was fortunate enough to meet Kenny as he signed my copy of Dear Cisgender People after attending the Queer Experience panel at the Hay Festival this year. A beautiful soul, he chatted with my partner and me about elements of the trans experience and the importance of getting trans voices heard in the corporate world and beyond. I have since ensured that the library I work for has obtained a copy of his book, so that many others can read his words and do the work to become better trans allies, and for other trans people to know they are not alone.
Dear Cisgender People is an essential read for all. Well-written and backed by extensive research, I am so glad that it exists out in the world for all the good it will bring. Thank you Kenny!
Dear Cisgender People is an essential read for all. Well-written and backed by extensive research, I am so glad that it exists out in the world for all the good it will bring. Thank you Kenny!
July 9, 2024
I didn’t realise that I still had some limiting beliefs about the trans experience so when that came up for me I was so pleased to change up my perspective. The book is super informative yet easy to read and the audio book was great. I loved the London accent of the author and to hear the tones of joy in his voice brought alive the vital importance of supporting peoples gender affirmation. Well done to the author and this book should be shared far and wide.
October 10, 2024
I can only recommend this book to anyone - cis, trans, already knowledgeable or not. Kenny talks about his own experiences as a trans man but also gives cisgender people practical advice, what you should maybe not ask a trans person and why. But he covers so much more than just transness and talks about the complexity of gender, attraction & sexuality, menstruation shaming, colourism etc. It often gave me the impulse to think about my own experiences, my beliefs and made me even learn things about myself.
June 7, 2025
Yup. I am that person. Transpeople are under attack and I read a book. And also getting involved with a trans rights advocacy group. I wanted to do some of the work to learn on my own and not put the burden on transpeople. Great primer.
August 6, 2024
This book was a great look into Kenny's life and I appreciate him sharing it. I loved how accepting and inclusive his writing was throughout to emphasize that everyone's individual experience is legitimate. I found the book a bit slow and rather repetitive, so that's why it's 3 stars instead of 4 or 5. The content was good, but a little slow to get through at times. Chapter 5 was definitely my favorite.
February 6, 2025
1/5
Until more is known about the abuse allegations.
I loved this book (until I checked out his Insta, that was a rabbit hole I didn't enjoy). The book is a little misleading, it's not really "A Guide to Trans Allyship and Empathy" as it's more of a memoir. This does naturally lead to empathy, but it's not a guide. It does touch on plenty of interesting things and is basically an in depth Q&A about his life. My favourite chapter was chapter 2: Black and Trans. Intersectionality is always really eye opening to me.
This book is really for people who have zero idea and are brand new to supporting Trans folk. Inclusive language is important and there's plenty of history, so the refresher is always nice. The tone was really relaxed and casual, you're just having coffee and learning about him. I liked it. I hated the formatting, I found the side margins too cramped and starting the chapter on the left page really bothered me for some reason? Maybe it's a British publishing thing? I appreciate the saving of paper.
It would have been 5 stars if there wasn't some weird 31 page document on his profile and complete silence after. People can separate the art from the artist, but I don't know if I can do that for this one. It doesn't sit right.
I'll happily look for a book to replace this as I think it's really important to highlight the intersectionality that trans/queer folk face when they're also IBPOC, and this is the only book I've read so far, unfortunately.
Until more is known about the abuse allegations.
I loved this book (until I checked out his Insta, that was a rabbit hole I didn't enjoy). The book is a little misleading, it's not really "A Guide to Trans Allyship and Empathy" as it's more of a memoir. This does naturally lead to empathy, but it's not a guide. It does touch on plenty of interesting things and is basically an in depth Q&A about his life. My favourite chapter was chapter 2: Black and Trans. Intersectionality is always really eye opening to me.
This book is really for people who have zero idea and are brand new to supporting Trans folk. Inclusive language is important and there's plenty of history, so the refresher is always nice. The tone was really relaxed and casual, you're just having coffee and learning about him. I liked it. I hated the formatting, I found the side margins too cramped and starting the chapter on the left page really bothered me for some reason? Maybe it's a British publishing thing? I appreciate the saving of paper.
It would have been 5 stars if there wasn't some weird 31 page document on his profile and complete silence after. People can separate the art from the artist, but I don't know if I can do that for this one. It doesn't sit right.
I'll happily look for a book to replace this as I think it's really important to highlight the intersectionality that trans/queer folk face when they're also IBPOC, and this is the only book I've read so far, unfortunately.
October 28, 2024
I found it hard to rate this book. I think it's well worth reading for the information it provides on what it's like to be a trans man and how to support someone in that situation, but if you are bothered by very detailed descriptions of sex, I would recommend you concentrate on the intro, the first chapter, and the last two chapters. In my humble opinion, those are the most important ones for cis people to read. Thank you for Kenny for sharing his story so openly.
April 17, 2025
Should be compulsory reading. I'm writing this a day after the latest government debacle on trans rights and send allyship to anyone going through tough times because of it. This book answered all my questions about language, processes and everything else and left me much more informed than I was. Kenny writes well and explains everything clearly.
June 3, 2025
My feeling is that this book is a very good first or second step for people seeking to understand trans identity and allyship, whether that's you or someone you want to support on their learning journey. It holds the reader's hand gently and caringly through some basic aspects about understanding trans experiences, addresses transphobic political conversations, gives intimate access to one trans person's story (as well as a couple others that he shares), and addresses the intersectional identity of being a black and trans man. Worth noting that the story is told through the author's life experiences and thus is particularly emphasizing a trans man's experience (as opposed to other trans gender identities, like non-binary).
April 23, 2025
4/7/24 Unfortunately 2 days into reading this book I discovered that Kenny’s ex girlfriend had just come out on Instagram with a post detailing his emotional and physical abuse towards her. He’s since posted nothing to take any accountability for his actions, which includes sexually assaulting someone from a community he so proudly speaks about protecting. This hypocrisy made the rest of the book a worrying read as he spoke about overcoming toxic masculinity and surrounding himself with good people, which he clearly still needs to work on. I wish him a reflective and healing future but I could not in good conscience give this book more than 1 star or recommend it to anyone.
23/4/25 UPDATE: Came back to check if Kenny had taken any accountability for what I’ve now discovered was abuse of multiple previous partners. Unfortunately all I found was a 31 page document deflecting and painting a picture of his ex as a lying mad woman. Classic DARVO abuser tactic and really sad to see. I hope one day he feels less shame about admitting past behaviour and can begin a true journey of healing instead of the false one I read about in this book.
23/4/25 UPDATE: Came back to check if Kenny had taken any accountability for what I’ve now discovered was abuse of multiple previous partners. Unfortunately all I found was a 31 page document deflecting and painting a picture of his ex as a lying mad woman. Classic DARVO abuser tactic and really sad to see. I hope one day he feels less shame about admitting past behaviour and can begin a true journey of healing instead of the false one I read about in this book.
June 23, 2024
Rating: 5* of five
The Publisher Says: A powerful call to arms to empower cisgender people to be better allies, blending memoir, detailed research, and interviews.
The trans experience is all too often the subject of fierce debate in the media and online. While we’re having more and more conversations about the trans experience, the stark reality is that hate crimes against the trans community have quadrupled over the past five years and that two in five trans young people have attempted suicide.
But behind the shock headlines and the distressing statistics, what does it really mean to be trans?
In this powerful, extensively researched, and deeply personal book, Kenny Ethan Jones, a trans activist and writer, offers an authentic and in-depth insight into the trans experience. From gender dysphoria to surgery, from being outed to finding love and considering parenthood, Kenny Ethan Jones draws on his own life and the stories of others from the trans and nonbinary communities to create discussion around the complexities and reality of the trans experiences in today’s society.
Dear Cis(Gender) People is a powerful call to arms, equipping people of every gender with the tools to step forward as allies in order to bring about meaningful change. Through acting and speaking out, we can create a safer, fairer world for trans people—a world in which all of us can exist as our most authentic selves and celebrate who we are without fear.
I RECEIVED A DRC FROM THE PUBLISHER VIA NETGALLEY. THANK YOU.
My Review: I can not say this loudly, often, or long enough (all of these are links to sources in the blogged version of the review): PAY.
ATTENTION.
TO.
WHAT.
THEY SAY THEY WILL DO.
You can start here, with this book made up of trans peoples' words. It's addressed at all cis people, a group I am very much part of. I needed to hear these trans voices. These voices are not heard in any systemic way even in the QUILTBAG community. Trans people can and should speak up...and all too often, risk the direst imaginable consequences for doing so. I think the best way to learn is to ask, and if the silence imposed on trans people in F2F reality is blocking that avenue, then we can read! This book marries asking with reading because Author Kenny Ethan Jones has spoken to his fellow trans folk and used their own words to address us cis people, regardless of our sexual identities, about the nature of being trans.
The ball is in our court, cis folk. We possess the information, now we need to listen to what trans people want us to know. There is no more fig-leaf for our ignorance. Now it is a choice to remain ignorant. I think almost everyone who reads this blog, being readers themselves, will take this chance to lift the veil of unknowing and see what the most Othered people in the QUILTBAG rainbow of identities want to get in the way of support and acceptance.
I hope this compact, unchallenging read will make its way into your reading this #PrideMonth. There are so many ways to offer the gift of acknowledgment. The price is, honestly, negligble to the giver; the gift is precious to the receiver, as the stories told here will show you. Please do the whole angry, shouting world this favor:
Sit and listen to what your Othered siblings would appreciate you offering to them.
The Publisher Says: A powerful call to arms to empower cisgender people to be better allies, blending memoir, detailed research, and interviews.
The trans experience is all too often the subject of fierce debate in the media and online. While we’re having more and more conversations about the trans experience, the stark reality is that hate crimes against the trans community have quadrupled over the past five years and that two in five trans young people have attempted suicide.
But behind the shock headlines and the distressing statistics, what does it really mean to be trans?
In this powerful, extensively researched, and deeply personal book, Kenny Ethan Jones, a trans activist and writer, offers an authentic and in-depth insight into the trans experience. From gender dysphoria to surgery, from being outed to finding love and considering parenthood, Kenny Ethan Jones draws on his own life and the stories of others from the trans and nonbinary communities to create discussion around the complexities and reality of the trans experiences in today’s society.
Dear Cis(Gender) People is a powerful call to arms, equipping people of every gender with the tools to step forward as allies in order to bring about meaningful change. Through acting and speaking out, we can create a safer, fairer world for trans people—a world in which all of us can exist as our most authentic selves and celebrate who we are without fear.
I RECEIVED A DRC FROM THE PUBLISHER VIA NETGALLEY. THANK YOU.
My Review: I can not say this loudly, often, or long enough (all of these are links to sources in the blogged version of the review): PAY.
ATTENTION.
TO.
WHAT.
THEY SAY THEY WILL DO.
You can start here, with this book made up of trans peoples' words. It's addressed at all cis people, a group I am very much part of. I needed to hear these trans voices. These voices are not heard in any systemic way even in the QUILTBAG community. Trans people can and should speak up...and all too often, risk the direst imaginable consequences for doing so. I think the best way to learn is to ask, and if the silence imposed on trans people in F2F reality is blocking that avenue, then we can read! This book marries asking with reading because Author Kenny Ethan Jones has spoken to his fellow trans folk and used their own words to address us cis people, regardless of our sexual identities, about the nature of being trans.
The ball is in our court, cis folk. We possess the information, now we need to listen to what trans people want us to know. There is no more fig-leaf for our ignorance. Now it is a choice to remain ignorant. I think almost everyone who reads this blog, being readers themselves, will take this chance to lift the veil of unknowing and see what the most Othered people in the QUILTBAG rainbow of identities want to get in the way of support and acceptance.
I hope this compact, unchallenging read will make its way into your reading this #PrideMonth. There are so many ways to offer the gift of acknowledgment. The price is, honestly, negligble to the giver; the gift is precious to the receiver, as the stories told here will show you. Please do the whole angry, shouting world this favor:
Sit and listen to what your Othered siblings would appreciate you offering to them.
July 3, 2024
I received a free e-copy of this book from NetGalley in exchange for my honest opinion.
I read this book as a trans man myself. I like seeing other people's experiences, as well as kind of "fact-checking" the books available, due to seeing some well-meaning but very misinformed or misguided ones when I was questioning. I also wanted books to recommend people if they are questioning or just want more information on trans people. I feel that this is one I would recommend to people.
Many of this author's feelings and experiences in regard to being trans resonate with me. He wrote on a personal level, being very clear that other people can have different experiences, but this is the most I have seen myself in a nonfiction book as well.
Questions that trans people get asked often are all in here, as well as acknowledging common misconceptions that are growing worse in this political climate. While I do not think that this book will change the minds of the most bigoted people, I do think that it can ease the fears of parents when their kid comes out as trans. This is also a good source for the more deeply personal questions trans people get asked that quite frankly we should not be asked as often as we are.
While I do not agree with his wording sometimes (ex. saying trans men are raised as girls and trans women are raised as boys) I think the rest of the book compensates for this. This is especially true as, mentioned before, he does not look to speak for the community overall and is clear this is his own mind. Plus, this was written directed to cis people and I acknowledge the wording I'd prefer could add too much confusion.
Overall, this is a good source to use, and while only one man's experience, is at the very least a good starting point for more understanding.
I read this book as a trans man myself. I like seeing other people's experiences, as well as kind of "fact-checking" the books available, due to seeing some well-meaning but very misinformed or misguided ones when I was questioning. I also wanted books to recommend people if they are questioning or just want more information on trans people. I feel that this is one I would recommend to people.
Many of this author's feelings and experiences in regard to being trans resonate with me. He wrote on a personal level, being very clear that other people can have different experiences, but this is the most I have seen myself in a nonfiction book as well.
Questions that trans people get asked often are all in here, as well as acknowledging common misconceptions that are growing worse in this political climate. While I do not think that this book will change the minds of the most bigoted people, I do think that it can ease the fears of parents when their kid comes out as trans. This is also a good source for the more deeply personal questions trans people get asked that quite frankly we should not be asked as often as we are.
While I do not agree with his wording sometimes (ex. saying trans men are raised as girls and trans women are raised as boys) I think the rest of the book compensates for this. This is especially true as, mentioned before, he does not look to speak for the community overall and is clear this is his own mind. Plus, this was written directed to cis people and I acknowledge the wording I'd prefer could add too much confusion.
Overall, this is a good source to use, and while only one man's experience, is at the very least a good starting point for more understanding.
June 27, 2025
I was really impressed to discover this is in a carefully-curated what some might call woke section of our local library. Knowing nothing about the author but having a keen interest in understanding as much as possible about the experience of trans people, I picked it up immediately.
Kenny writes with great honesty about his personal experience and I thank him for that. He sounds a wonderful person. It was very interesting to me, as an older person, to try to understand more just how different gender and sexuality is for each individual. I was so impressed by what I was reading that I recommended it to my brother, who works to reduce inequalities in health. That was before I read the extremely forthright section on how sex can work for trans people. Again, really helpful to read and understand but maybe would have mentioned it was there when I recommended it!
It was refreshing to read trans writing from someone who described themself as an activist but didn't seem as angry as many activists are. I know that the anger is justifiable, but calm conversation is so much easier to engage with the content contained therein.
I've recommended this book to others, not just my brother. It helped a lot with my understanding and for that I am grateful.
Kenny writes with great honesty about his personal experience and I thank him for that. He sounds a wonderful person. It was very interesting to me, as an older person, to try to understand more just how different gender and sexuality is for each individual. I was so impressed by what I was reading that I recommended it to my brother, who works to reduce inequalities in health. That was before I read the extremely forthright section on how sex can work for trans people. Again, really helpful to read and understand but maybe would have mentioned it was there when I recommended it!
It was refreshing to read trans writing from someone who described themself as an activist but didn't seem as angry as many activists are. I know that the anger is justifiable, but calm conversation is so much easier to engage with the content contained therein.
I've recommended this book to others, not just my brother. It helped a lot with my understanding and for that I am grateful.
July 2, 2024
Kenny Ethan Jones' book is a good start of a transman trying to explain his life to others who may identify as cigender or be identified by others as cisgender. This is just a start for two reasons. First, he is in the UK and try as he does to connect to people in the USA, it is clear we live in two different worlds when it comes to matters related to healthcare. The second is that the depth of each subject varies widely. I really wanted him to expand on many sections, particularly when he lays out the five pillars of masculinity that he subscribes to.
The tone of the book is personal and friendly. I felt like I wanted to continue reading because of his words, pacing, and flow of topics. Even though I've learned a bit about transfolks, I still learned more from this book. That fact leads to the biggest problem I have with this monograph: I don't think someone who could really use this knowledge is going to be the type of person to read this book. I don't think this book can create allies or empathy so much as deeper that in the person who reads it.
The tone of the book is personal and friendly. I felt like I wanted to continue reading because of his words, pacing, and flow of topics. Even though I've learned a bit about transfolks, I still learned more from this book. That fact leads to the biggest problem I have with this monograph: I don't think someone who could really use this knowledge is going to be the type of person to read this book. I don't think this book can create allies or empathy so much as deeper that in the person who reads it.
June 18, 2024
This is well written except for a few times, the book goes off subject and although the book is addressed to cisgender people, the author switches to talking to Transgender people. That problem could be fixed by an adjustment to the title.
I am dismayed at how transgenders are treated today. In today's political environment, it is dangerous to be transgender. Long ago, I took a course in graduate school on Transgenderism and learned a lot. As students we were given permission to visit the Kinsey Library at Indiana University and read the research but the best part was meeting the people who were transexuals.
This book gives very detailed information and is very well researched, it was good to learn about his personal life and I felt that I would have loved to met his mother.
I highly recommend this book,
I am dismayed at how transgenders are treated today. In today's political environment, it is dangerous to be transgender. Long ago, I took a course in graduate school on Transgenderism and learned a lot. As students we were given permission to visit the Kinsey Library at Indiana University and read the research but the best part was meeting the people who were transexuals.
This book gives very detailed information and is very well researched, it was good to learn about his personal life and I felt that I would have loved to met his mother.
I highly recommend this book,
April 7, 2025
I'm pretty well-versed in Trans Issues (I got homies like that) and even I learned something here!
A good overview of somethings, very in depth on others, and barely skimming the surface on a few more. I think I would've changed up the proportions on some things -- for example, there was a whole lot about surgery, but definitively nothing on nonbinary identities, which falls under the trans umbrella. But hey, it's not my book, and I don't get to make those decisions. I wished there was a bit more about the politicization of trans people and intentionally instigating fear towards them as "others," I feel like that speaks a lot about culture. I do believe there are stronger arguments for wanting to avoid being misgendered besides "it makes me uncomfortable so please don't."
Overall, a good listen. "Loving trans people isn't radical. It's basic." - Lucy Dacus
A good overview of somethings, very in depth on others, and barely skimming the surface on a few more. I think I would've changed up the proportions on some things -- for example, there was a whole lot about surgery, but definitively nothing on nonbinary identities, which falls under the trans umbrella. But hey, it's not my book, and I don't get to make those decisions. I wished there was a bit more about the politicization of trans people and intentionally instigating fear towards them as "others," I feel like that speaks a lot about culture. I do believe there are stronger arguments for wanting to avoid being misgendered besides "it makes me uncomfortable so please don't."
Overall, a good listen. "Loving trans people isn't radical. It's basic." - Lucy Dacus
July 27, 2025
After six years of questioning, this was the book that made me realize I was transgender. I borrowed it from the library to support the transgender people in my life and noticed that I resonated with what was written deeply. I came out to the people in my life and now I feel much happier.
The book is for anyone that wants to learn about transgender people and experiences. The language is accessible, the takes are solid, and it doesn’t shy away from heavier topics. The writer’s personality shines on every page and it feels like having an informative conversation with someone that knows what they’re talking about.
If you’re questioning your gender at all or are just trying to learn more about transgender people and experiences this book is a wonderful introduction. I’ll always be grateful for this book for teaching me so much and I can’t wait to own my own copy soon.
The book is for anyone that wants to learn about transgender people and experiences. The language is accessible, the takes are solid, and it doesn’t shy away from heavier topics. The writer’s personality shines on every page and it feels like having an informative conversation with someone that knows what they’re talking about.
If you’re questioning your gender at all or are just trying to learn more about transgender people and experiences this book is a wonderful introduction. I’ll always be grateful for this book for teaching me so much and I can’t wait to own my own copy soon.
August 25, 2024
As the mother of a trans man, I am always wanting to learn more about the trans experience. Though the book is titled in a way that would lead one to believe it is focused on trans allies, it feels more like a memoir to me. An ally can certainly learn about the trans experience from reading a memoir but I expected more about how allies can support their trans loved ones and friends. There was also some repetition and I wasn't a fan of the casual writing style. He also got at least one fact wrong - George Floyd was killed in Minneapolis, not North Carolina. AS the author is British. there is also understandably more emphasis on the UK health care system which is radically different than the one in the US
August 21, 2024
***Thanks to NetGalley for this ARC in exchange for my honest review***
In this book, Kenny Ethan Jones writes candidly about an assortment of topics, including ones that have been considered taboo or impolite. He is blazingly direct about gender-affirming surgeries, his own genitals, what periods can be like for transmen, and how living authentically and true to himself has affected him. By pulling the curtain back and addressing cisgender people, he demonstrates tremendous vulnerability and courage. I hope this wasn't misplaced and that those of us in the audience can take it to heart and show up better as allies/accomplices.
In this book, Kenny Ethan Jones writes candidly about an assortment of topics, including ones that have been considered taboo or impolite. He is blazingly direct about gender-affirming surgeries, his own genitals, what periods can be like for transmen, and how living authentically and true to himself has affected him. By pulling the curtain back and addressing cisgender people, he demonstrates tremendous vulnerability and courage. I hope this wasn't misplaced and that those of us in the audience can take it to heart and show up better as allies/accomplices.
August 12, 2025
I really liked this book! I loved how it blended personal stories and experiences with statistics and broad experiences. I loved learning more from the transgender perspective and especially the sections that discussed the intersectionality between gender and race. I felt like the tips for allies are great for those just learning about the trans experience and perspective and had some good tips for parents. I really enjoyed learning about topics from social transitioning to physical transitioning to sexuality. The book covered a lot of topics that I am very fortunate to now have a new understanding of. I would recommend this to anyone and everyone!
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
October 8, 2025
This was an informative read, though I think should be more categorized under memoir and less under a guide for cis people. There was some guidance for how to be a better ally for trans people as a cis person but it was more like 70% memoir, 30% guidance. As a memoir, it’s great, but not what I entered the book expecting!
I also think I prefer that people with no experience in vocal presentation (actors, etc) have their books narrated by a professional - it flows better with far less awkward pausing.
I also removed a star because of the allegations against the author that have yet to be addressed. I was unaware of them before starting the book.
I also think I prefer that people with no experience in vocal presentation (actors, etc) have their books narrated by a professional - it flows better with far less awkward pausing.
I also removed a star because of the allegations against the author that have yet to be addressed. I was unaware of them before starting the book.
July 31, 2024
First off, I really appreciate the author for sharing his story so openly and getting so personal in this book, which I think will be a great starting point for cis people who want to read from trans perspectives, which is exactly this book's goal.
But this book could have used a lot more structure. The narration felt choppy, and I felt like we were going from one topic to another quite suddenly all throughout the book. While Kenny shared a lot of personal stories and valuable insights, these didn't come together in a way that made the book feel cohesive.
But this book could have used a lot more structure. The narration felt choppy, and I felt like we were going from one topic to another quite suddenly all throughout the book. While Kenny shared a lot of personal stories and valuable insights, these didn't come together in a way that made the book feel cohesive.
October 16, 2024
I was gifted a copy of this book from Net Galley in exchange for an honest review.
Gosh I loved this instructive take on trans allyship. At times, sharing rudimentary information while almost holding your hand through the chapters and at other times, earnestly sharing intimate moments of the trans experience, this book reads like both a "Trans 101" course and a fiercely honest memoir. Kenny makes it seem like no question is off limits to him, while also sharing concrete boundaries. It's a great read.
Gosh I loved this instructive take on trans allyship. At times, sharing rudimentary information while almost holding your hand through the chapters and at other times, earnestly sharing intimate moments of the trans experience, this book reads like both a "Trans 101" course and a fiercely honest memoir. Kenny makes it seem like no question is off limits to him, while also sharing concrete boundaries. It's a great read.
April 4, 2025
Appreciating the author’s honesty and transparency as he points the world toward humanity, justice, and freedom. This book covered so many areas of trans identity with sincerity and hope: dysphoria, euphoria, medical needs and interventions, engaging family and friends, gender identity development and sex. As the author lives in England, the statistics largely stayed local, which made sense and left me wanting to know more about parallel US stats. The book ended with hopefulness that was so needed.
August 11, 2025
Such a good read and I learned a lot. I didn’t realize how much gendered language we are immersed in throughout our daily lives because it’s so ingrained in me and I don’t pay attention to so much of it. This was a good way for me to see the world in a different way and to become more empathetic to my trans and enbie friends without having to rely on them to educate me. Kenny is a great story teller and made this book easy to read. I struggle with nonfiction books but maybe I haven’t read the right ones because this one was great.
July 23, 2024
This book deserves a longer and more detailed review than this, but I think keeping it short and simple might be best so my main point doesn't get lost in the rambling.
This is important and well done. I think that everyone should read this, and/or others like it, especially given the current state of the world we live in today.
I received a free ARC from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
This is important and well done. I think that everyone should read this, and/or others like it, especially given the current state of the world we live in today.
I received a free ARC from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
May 27, 2025
As a cis woman who wants to be a better ally I found this book very helpful. I have a few trans people in my life and understood everyone has their own story and tell it in their own time but it was nice to read Kenny's story to help me get a better understanding of the trans community and how cis people can help support them. A must read for any ally or if you have a loved one expressing interest in transitioning.
June 28, 2024
impactful. emotional. exceptional.
this book is a must read! it doesn’t matter if you know nothing about the trans community or if you already consider yourself a vocal ally. we ALL need to expose ourselves to more trans, queer, and racially diverse perspectives. step up and listen to your trans neighbors when the speak.
this book is a must read! it doesn’t matter if you know nothing about the trans community or if you already consider yourself a vocal ally. we ALL need to expose ourselves to more trans, queer, and racially diverse perspectives. step up and listen to your trans neighbors when the speak.
July 26, 2024
Really strong start, but I feel like the title is misleading. I really liked the anecdotes from the author, but felt as the book went on the tangents about specific topics because too long. While I think the sections about periods and sex are quote valuable, I wouldn’t consider these chapters a good entry point for cisgender readers, which is who the book is seemingly targeted at.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
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