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Renovated: God, Dallas Willard, and the Church That Transforms
Christianity has tended to focus on right beliefs and right choices as the keys for personal growth. But biblical evidence and modern brain science show that our character is shaped more by whom we love than what we believe.
Through conversations he had with Dallas Willard at the Heart & Soul Conference shortly before Dallas's death, Jim Wilder shows how we can train our brains to relate to God based on joyful, mutual attachment--which leads to emotional and spiritual maturity as our identity and character are formed by our relationship with God.
Through conversations he had with Dallas Willard at the Heart & Soul Conference shortly before Dallas's death, Jim Wilder shows how we can train our brains to relate to God based on joyful, mutual attachment--which leads to emotional and spiritual maturity as our identity and character are formed by our relationship with God.
Audio CD
Published March 1, 2021
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About the author
Jim Wilder
19 books67 followersThis author is also published under the pen name E. James Wilder.
Jim Wilder (PhD, Clinical Psychology, and M.A. Theology, Fuller Theological Seminary) has been training leaders and counselors for over 27 years on five continents. He is the author of nine books with a strong focus on maturing and relationship skills for leaders. His coauthored book Living From the Heart Jesus Gave You has sold over 100,000 copies in eleven languages. Wilder has published numerous articles and developed four sets of video and relational leadership training called THRIVE. He is currently executive director of Shepherd's House Inc., a nonprofit working at the intersection of brain science and theology, and founder of Life Model Works that is building contagiously healthy Christian communities through equipping existing networks with the skills to thrive. Dr. Wilder has extensive clinical counseling experience and has served as a guest lecturer at Fuller Seminary, Biola, Talbot Seminary, Point Loma University, Montreat College, Tyndale Seminary and elsewhere.
Jim Wilder (PhD, Clinical Psychology, and M.A. Theology, Fuller Theological Seminary) has been training leaders and counselors for over 27 years on five continents. He is the author of nine books with a strong focus on maturing and relationship skills for leaders. His coauthored book Living From the Heart Jesus Gave You has sold over 100,000 copies in eleven languages. Wilder has published numerous articles and developed four sets of video and relational leadership training called THRIVE. He is currently executive director of Shepherd's House Inc., a nonprofit working at the intersection of brain science and theology, and founder of Life Model Works that is building contagiously healthy Christian communities through equipping existing networks with the skills to thrive. Dr. Wilder has extensive clinical counseling experience and has served as a guest lecturer at Fuller Seminary, Biola, Talbot Seminary, Point Loma University, Montreat College, Tyndale Seminary and elsewhere.
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December 20, 2024
A fantastic collision between great theology from the late Dallas Willard, good neuroscience, and the heart of counseling and therapy. Wilder brings some behind-the-scenes perspective from his time with Willard at the “Heart and Soul Conference.”
Wilder talks about the science that supports the theological connections Willard was speaking to shortly before his death. He examines some of the details and nuances critically and offers some minor adjustments. The way that the mind of a great theologian collides with those involved with the redemptive work of therapy is a real treat for the reader who enjoys psychology.
Half of the chapters are the presentations Willard gave at the conference; as one might expect, these alone are worth the price of the book. Each chapter is followed by an examination and response chapter from Wilder. The greatest takeaway for me was considering the soteriological ramifications of understanding “chesed” as healthy attachment with God.
Wilder talks about the science that supports the theological connections Willard was speaking to shortly before his death. He examines some of the details and nuances critically and offers some minor adjustments. The way that the mind of a great theologian collides with those involved with the redemptive work of therapy is a real treat for the reader who enjoys psychology.
Half of the chapters are the presentations Willard gave at the conference; as one might expect, these alone are worth the price of the book. Each chapter is followed by an examination and response chapter from Wilder. The greatest takeaway for me was considering the soteriological ramifications of understanding “chesed” as healthy attachment with God.
July 24, 2025
I have a big problem with anyone stating that they have now ! just now ! in the 21st century ! discovered the one true way to become a disciple of Jesus. I also don’t really understand why it was necessary to splice this with Dallas’ talks, it seemed like wasted time explaining all the differences between his theology and Jim’s when Jim could have just stated that this original idea of attachment to God at salvation was given to him by Dallas and wrote his own book from there. I’m going to attempt to be generous: I don’t fully understand all the neurotheological jargon, and I believe that Jim wrote this in good faith and that it’s helped people. It’s an interesting idea, that we can attach to God and a good reminder that love is what changes us, not solely our will. I do think he took it too far and made it the One Big Thing, and going all in on the “Life Model” isn’t going to be for me (no matter how big a promo for Jim’s programs the end is.)
January 2, 2025
In Renovated, Jim Wilder advocates that spiritual transformation is rooted in something much deeper than the idea of spiritual practices laid out by Dallas Willard in 'The Spirit of the Disciplines'.
Wilder maintains that spiritual displines only become tranformative when a deep love attachment with Jesus Himself exists. It is that deep love attachment that enables the 'Renovation of the Heart' that we so deeply yearn for.
Understanding the relationship between Jim Wilder and Dallas Willard is an important key to grasping the ideas about transformation that Wilder presents here. Wilder is a Phd clinical psychologist who worked in the same practice as Jane Willard, Dallas Willard's wife. Through Jane's successful counseling practice, Wilder is introduced to Dallas and his pursuit of transformation through spiritual disciplines.
Willard changed Wilder's view with one statement ....
.."Psychology is the care of souls. The care of souls was once the province of the church, but the church no longer provides that care.
The most important thing about the care of souls is that you must love them.'
From that statement grew Wilder's practice at the Shepherd House, and the development of 'The Life Model' that shows a basis for spiritual maturity that culminates in community elders who are devoted to helping the entire community to thrive in love, not just themselves.
What Wilder became aware of in Dallas Willard, was not that his practice of the spiritual disciplines made him such a great example of being a disciple of Jesus, but that Willard had a deep awareness of Jesus' love for himself that made the disciplines transformative. Those who practiced disciplines without the belief in Jesus' deep love did not experience transformation at the same level.
Wilder points out that Willard emphasized a person's will as the key to transformation through spiritual disciplines.
However, Wilder observed that it was both the brain science of healthy emotional development, and Dallas and Jane Willard's demonstration of Jesus's love for others that enabled them to guide people's will toward following Jesus that brought transformative character change.
Thus, transformation of the mind comes, not from will power, but a deep attachment to the Lord and God who we are convinced loves us.
Wilder writes not to repudiate Willard, but to demonstrate that the renovated hearts and character we seek come as we joyfully turn our will to match the will of the One we are convinced loves us steadfastly.
I highly recommend reading this book, then reading Widler's book 'The Life Model: Living from the Heart Jesus Gave You' to put into practice the actions that build a deep attachment love to Jesus Himself.
Wilder maintains that spiritual displines only become tranformative when a deep love attachment with Jesus Himself exists. It is that deep love attachment that enables the 'Renovation of the Heart' that we so deeply yearn for.
Understanding the relationship between Jim Wilder and Dallas Willard is an important key to grasping the ideas about transformation that Wilder presents here. Wilder is a Phd clinical psychologist who worked in the same practice as Jane Willard, Dallas Willard's wife. Through Jane's successful counseling practice, Wilder is introduced to Dallas and his pursuit of transformation through spiritual disciplines.
Willard changed Wilder's view with one statement ....
.."Psychology is the care of souls. The care of souls was once the province of the church, but the church no longer provides that care.
The most important thing about the care of souls is that you must love them.'
From that statement grew Wilder's practice at the Shepherd House, and the development of 'The Life Model' that shows a basis for spiritual maturity that culminates in community elders who are devoted to helping the entire community to thrive in love, not just themselves.
What Wilder became aware of in Dallas Willard, was not that his practice of the spiritual disciplines made him such a great example of being a disciple of Jesus, but that Willard had a deep awareness of Jesus' love for himself that made the disciplines transformative. Those who practiced disciplines without the belief in Jesus' deep love did not experience transformation at the same level.
Wilder points out that Willard emphasized a person's will as the key to transformation through spiritual disciplines.
However, Wilder observed that it was both the brain science of healthy emotional development, and Dallas and Jane Willard's demonstration of Jesus's love for others that enabled them to guide people's will toward following Jesus that brought transformative character change.
Thus, transformation of the mind comes, not from will power, but a deep attachment to the Lord and God who we are convinced loves us.
Wilder writes not to repudiate Willard, but to demonstrate that the renovated hearts and character we seek come as we joyfully turn our will to match the will of the One we are convinced loves us steadfastly.
I highly recommend reading this book, then reading Widler's book 'The Life Model: Living from the Heart Jesus Gave You' to put into practice the actions that build a deep attachment love to Jesus Himself.
July 11, 2020
A thought-provoking and possibly model altering book. Yes, it is that insightful. Is salvation saving loving attachment? If so, then everything in our discipleship models starts with attachment and flow from there. This book seeks to take much of Dallas Willard's thinking on spiritual growth and then add what Dallas only began to understand at end of his life in terms of how the brain works and how attachment theory can be incorporated into spiritual growth. A big challenge, yet Jim Wilder does an amazing job of showing where Dallas Willard was right on and where some gaps existed.
This book questions many of the underlying assumptions of the discipleship models that have developed in response to the history of who people are and how they change in our Western Civilization lens. I can always tell the impact of a book on my thinking by looking at how much I have underlined and how many notes I have taken in the margins. It has been years since a book the pulled such a response out of me that this book has.
Saying a book is a "must-read" is so cliche in these days of online reviews, but Renovated is a MUST READ.
This book questions many of the underlying assumptions of the discipleship models that have developed in response to the history of who people are and how they change in our Western Civilization lens. I can always tell the impact of a book on my thinking by looking at how much I have underlined and how many notes I have taken in the margins. It has been years since a book the pulled such a response out of me that this book has.
Saying a book is a "must-read" is so cliche in these days of online reviews, but Renovated is a MUST READ.
June 18, 2020
Technical, heady, textbook-like, and FASCINATING! God designed our brains to function and heal in accordance with the way of salvation he initiated.
September 22, 2023
There are not words for how important I feel this book is. It feels like God took everything He’s been teaching me over the last three years and tied it all in a beautiful book titled Renovated. Like obscure plot lines of a lengthy novel that only vaguely make sense suddenly, in the last chapter, causing that jaw-dropping moment as they all come together and it JUST MAKES SENSE. Wow. I already have my pastor reading this book. Attachment. Love. Hesed. ‘Nough said.
March 9, 2025
audio book version only scratched the surface of this one! definitely will be getting a physical copy and diving deeper - Wilder and Willard are a dynamic duo
August 30, 2020
This books has some important concepts that add to my understanding of spiritual disciplines and what has to underlie them. Salvation as Hesed attachment to God. Healing through inviting Jesús into our memories. Relational skills and maturity. Hesed attachment to my community of faith. Group identity and healthy shame messages to grow as disciples. Spontaneous love of enemies (and those who feel like enemies).
July 23, 2024
Such a weird roller coaster of a book. 4 chapters of Renovated are Dallas Willard’s last talk at a conference before he died. The other chapters are adding to and contradicting Willard (mostly: attachment love as the source of spiritual formation instead of the Will/Spiritual Disciplines). It’s fascinating content but a train wreck of a book.
Weirdly, I definitely recommend it! It’s full of new and fascinating ideas. As well as weird and bad ideas. But it’s not boring/trite. Very stimulating.
Not only is the book all over the place (written by two authors who are opposed to each other), but Wilder's writing is painfully cheesy at times. One whole chapter takes place at a fictional Mexican food lunch where you (the reader) share fajitas and queso with the author:
“Be careful! Hot plate,” the waiter says, as he sets down your fajitas. You look my direction. “Explanations of the will have become rather convoluted,” you tell me.
Wilder proposes "a soteriology of attachment" which I find VERY intriguing.
Because so many of the ideas presented by Wilder are new, the book is often Greek to me: "Start with attachment, lead into mutual mind, provide healing, and build group identity to correct iniquity." That sentence makes ZERO sense to the average Christian reader.
I'm not saying Wilder doesn't explain all of those concepts in the book. But I would guess he loses 95% of his audience who only hear psychological neuroscience-y mumbo-jumbo.
Comer's Practicing the Way is a parallel book that is very clear and simple. My guess is that Wilder lives in a bubble where these words and ideas make sense and are assumed. His bibliography is almost all from within that bubble (most are either from Wilder's publishing company or written by Wilder himself). Dr. JP Moreland condemns Wilder (and Curt Thompson, who is adjacent) for this "lone-ranger publishing".
I don't think Wilder is completely wrong. I think his diagnosis might actually be right and good. I think his application is wrong and dangerous.
Main question: What is the basis for maturity and Christlikeness? Is it the will, or is it attachment love?
Main idea:
What he gets right:
- An emphasis on attachment-love as the basis for the Christian life
- Mutual mind - that we can and should seek to think with Christ
- Group identity - that we are formed more by group identity than will power
- [Willard's] model has ideas (slow conscious thoughts) as its tools.
- Could part of why we have Christians who aren’t experiencing life with God be caused by emphasizing beliefs as the means of transformation?
- Christlike character begins with attachment love, develops through mutual-mind states, and ultimately, creates a people with a shared sense of identity—in real time.
What he gets wrong: How to achieve the first two.
1) Attachment Love with God is not accomplished through sitting quietly for 9 minutes and trying to think of a time when you felt close to God; and then trying to re-live that experience in your mind. It is accomplished through the spiritual disciplines.
2) Mutual mind with Christ is not accomplished through reaching a eyes-closed thankful and mindful state and asking God “What do You want me to know now? When you have reached a state of shalom (your mind and God’s mind feel in harmony), read what you have written to another disciple. Don’t try to explain what you wrote, as explanations rarely have God content. What comes to mind will be a mixture of your thinking and God’s. After you have written down what you noticed, read it aloud and look for “God content” that feels peaceful and true. By reading your thoughts in the community of other disciples, you will gain clarity about what God wants you to notice.”
- Mutual mind is accomplished by reading God’s Word and obeying it. We don't close our eyes and drift into our brains to accomplish Mutual Mind. We open our Bibles and engage our brains to receive truth from outside of us. God has written down what he wants us to know!
- Wilder would say step one is to quiet our selves through meditation then “Once aware of God’s presence, we ask to share God’s view of things that take away our peace. What God shows us lets us have mutual mind with God and share God’s peace.” The answers are mystically revealed inside of us. That is NOT the way. The answers are outside of us - in God’s Word. We experience the presence of God thru his Word. We share God's view of things thru his Word.
- Wilder only offers Scripture as a way to create mutual mind in an appendix.
- I don’t experiencing the love of God comes from subjective silence. Imagining a time when you felt close to God. I think it comes from Keller’s “you are far worse off than you imagined, far more loved…” and the gospel grid - an increasing view of your own sinfulness and God’s holiness. The cross grows in your mind. You become amazed by the gospel. Because the cross is the ultimate act of love for us to meditate on.
Weirdly, I definitely recommend it! It’s full of new and fascinating ideas. As well as weird and bad ideas. But it’s not boring/trite. Very stimulating.
Not only is the book all over the place (written by two authors who are opposed to each other), but Wilder's writing is painfully cheesy at times. One whole chapter takes place at a fictional Mexican food lunch where you (the reader) share fajitas and queso with the author:
“Be careful! Hot plate,” the waiter says, as he sets down your fajitas. You look my direction. “Explanations of the will have become rather convoluted,” you tell me.
Wilder proposes "a soteriology of attachment" which I find VERY intriguing.
Because so many of the ideas presented by Wilder are new, the book is often Greek to me: "Start with attachment, lead into mutual mind, provide healing, and build group identity to correct iniquity." That sentence makes ZERO sense to the average Christian reader.
I'm not saying Wilder doesn't explain all of those concepts in the book. But I would guess he loses 95% of his audience who only hear psychological neuroscience-y mumbo-jumbo.
Comer's Practicing the Way is a parallel book that is very clear and simple. My guess is that Wilder lives in a bubble where these words and ideas make sense and are assumed. His bibliography is almost all from within that bubble (most are either from Wilder's publishing company or written by Wilder himself). Dr. JP Moreland condemns Wilder (and Curt Thompson, who is adjacent) for this "lone-ranger publishing".
I don't think Wilder is completely wrong. I think his diagnosis might actually be right and good. I think his application is wrong and dangerous.
Main question: What is the basis for maturity and Christlikeness? Is it the will, or is it attachment love?
Main idea:
Since identity (including character and maturity) runs in a brain system that is faster than conscious thought, the fast track produces a reaction to our circumstances before we have a chance to consider how we would rather react. What happens before we have a chance to think about it is the source of what we call character. Our reactions will reveal our character. This suggests that if we are to learn Christlike character, it would be best learned in the ways that the right-brain, fast-track mind thinks and learns. The mechanism for building and changing character in the fast track is mutual mind.
What he gets right:
- An emphasis on attachment-love as the basis for the Christian life
- Mutual mind - that we can and should seek to think with Christ
- Group identity - that we are formed more by group identity than will power
- [Willard's] model has ideas (slow conscious thoughts) as its tools.
- Could part of why we have Christians who aren’t experiencing life with God be caused by emphasizing beliefs as the means of transformation?
- Christlike character begins with attachment love, develops through mutual-mind states, and ultimately, creates a people with a shared sense of identity—in real time.
What he gets wrong: How to achieve the first two.
1) Attachment Love with God is not accomplished through sitting quietly for 9 minutes and trying to think of a time when you felt close to God; and then trying to re-live that experience in your mind. It is accomplished through the spiritual disciplines.
2) Mutual mind with Christ is not accomplished through reaching a eyes-closed thankful and mindful state and asking God “What do You want me to know now? When you have reached a state of shalom (your mind and God’s mind feel in harmony), read what you have written to another disciple. Don’t try to explain what you wrote, as explanations rarely have God content. What comes to mind will be a mixture of your thinking and God’s. After you have written down what you noticed, read it aloud and look for “God content” that feels peaceful and true. By reading your thoughts in the community of other disciples, you will gain clarity about what God wants you to notice.”
- Mutual mind is accomplished by reading God’s Word and obeying it. We don't close our eyes and drift into our brains to accomplish Mutual Mind. We open our Bibles and engage our brains to receive truth from outside of us. God has written down what he wants us to know!
- Wilder would say step one is to quiet our selves through meditation then “Once aware of God’s presence, we ask to share God’s view of things that take away our peace. What God shows us lets us have mutual mind with God and share God’s peace.” The answers are mystically revealed inside of us. That is NOT the way. The answers are outside of us - in God’s Word. We experience the presence of God thru his Word. We share God's view of things thru his Word.
- Wilder only offers Scripture as a way to create mutual mind in an appendix.
- I don’t experiencing the love of God comes from subjective silence. Imagining a time when you felt close to God. I think it comes from Keller’s “you are far worse off than you imagined, far more loved…” and the gospel grid - an increasing view of your own sinfulness and God’s holiness. The cross grows in your mind. You become amazed by the gospel. Because the cross is the ultimate act of love for us to meditate on.
January 20, 2022
Wilder has a very important critique of Willard's spiritual philosophy: Willard did not realize that the relational dynamic that he had personally with God was integral to transformation but wasn't discussed in a concrete way. His philosophy lacked a strong relational psychology. For that, we need a significant relational element as part of a full Christian spirituality. Wilder's inclusion of attachment love as integral to spiritual development is a beautiful addition.
At the same time, while I am glad for Wilder's integration of attachment dynamics into Willard's spiritual philosophy, I have a number of concerns with his presentation and arguments that made me less happy with the book than I would have hoped.
I believe that the author's intention of including transcripts of Willard's talks at the Heart & Soul Conference was in the hopes of exposing the reader to Willard's general philosophy of the Christian spiritual life, it didn't seem to me like they were really necessary. It often felt contradictory: Here's what Willard said, and now here's where he was wrong. If it wasn't accurate, then it doesn't strike me as necessary to include it in the first place. Still, I was quite familiar already with Willard's understanding of spirituality, so it may be that others less familiar with it would need that foundation and would have appreciated those chapters more that I did.
I also had deep concerns with Wilder's presentation of the neuroscientific details. He made statements about neurodynamics that were nebulous or unclear to me (e.g., what does it mean for the brain to move in synchronicity?) but didn't always attempt to explain them. Moreover, he regularly made definitive statements with no citation. While this is not an academic book, it still made trying to understand such statements impossible. The reader was left to take his word on it, which didn't satisfy me and made me question the argument (and in some cases, I still do). At times, when he did cite sources, they felt dubious to me. One was a paper that I cannot find reference to in any scholarly database, and others are self-published books from those close within the author's circle. It feels like Wilder knows what he means so well that he doesn't recognize that others don't understand and also that his circle of work is so close-knit that it may not be supported by the wider scientific community.
This isn't to say that the book is nothing but problems. It isn't. I am very glad to see relational dynamics wedded to spiritual theology, particularly with reference to Dallas Willard's spiritual formation. The desire to incorporate attachment into American evangelicalism's theology and spirituality is wonderful! However, I do wish that the book had had a more demanding editor that was more familiar with the science and pressed the author to be clearer and more careful in his presentation. It pushes the discussion in a positive direction, even if I'm not completely happy with the details.
At the same time, while I am glad for Wilder's integration of attachment dynamics into Willard's spiritual philosophy, I have a number of concerns with his presentation and arguments that made me less happy with the book than I would have hoped.
I believe that the author's intention of including transcripts of Willard's talks at the Heart & Soul Conference was in the hopes of exposing the reader to Willard's general philosophy of the Christian spiritual life, it didn't seem to me like they were really necessary. It often felt contradictory: Here's what Willard said, and now here's where he was wrong. If it wasn't accurate, then it doesn't strike me as necessary to include it in the first place. Still, I was quite familiar already with Willard's understanding of spirituality, so it may be that others less familiar with it would need that foundation and would have appreciated those chapters more that I did.
I also had deep concerns with Wilder's presentation of the neuroscientific details. He made statements about neurodynamics that were nebulous or unclear to me (e.g., what does it mean for the brain to move in synchronicity?) but didn't always attempt to explain them. Moreover, he regularly made definitive statements with no citation. While this is not an academic book, it still made trying to understand such statements impossible. The reader was left to take his word on it, which didn't satisfy me and made me question the argument (and in some cases, I still do). At times, when he did cite sources, they felt dubious to me. One was a paper that I cannot find reference to in any scholarly database, and others are self-published books from those close within the author's circle. It feels like Wilder knows what he means so well that he doesn't recognize that others don't understand and also that his circle of work is so close-knit that it may not be supported by the wider scientific community.
This isn't to say that the book is nothing but problems. It isn't. I am very glad to see relational dynamics wedded to spiritual theology, particularly with reference to Dallas Willard's spiritual formation. The desire to incorporate attachment into American evangelicalism's theology and spirituality is wonderful! However, I do wish that the book had had a more demanding editor that was more familiar with the science and pressed the author to be clearer and more careful in his presentation. It pushes the discussion in a positive direction, even if I'm not completely happy with the details.
March 9, 2023
This is a unique book which reads kind of like an essay. The author is discussing a conference that was organized for Dallas Willard, and breaks down the content of Willard’s talks, while blending in his own teaching on attachment love as well as Jane Willard’s psychological perspective as a marriage and family therapist.
It was a bit confusing to listen to as an audiobook. I plan to find the paperback to better understand the content. I’m also interested in learning more about the Immanuel Approach, which is referenced in this book.
Overall, I loved Renovated. If I were helping to plant a church, I’d pour myself into the model of discipleship and attachment love described in this book. I honestly believe that any person or church community who is longing for true transformation in Christ would find this blend of Jim Wilder’s life model teachings and Dallas Willard’s spiritual disciplines truly life-changing.
It was a bit confusing to listen to as an audiobook. I plan to find the paperback to better understand the content. I’m also interested in learning more about the Immanuel Approach, which is referenced in this book.
Overall, I loved Renovated. If I were helping to plant a church, I’d pour myself into the model of discipleship and attachment love described in this book. I honestly believe that any person or church community who is longing for true transformation in Christ would find this blend of Jim Wilder’s life model teachings and Dallas Willard’s spiritual disciplines truly life-changing.
March 24, 2023
Fascinating and practical book on spiritual and emotional maturity.
Spiritual maturity is often assumed as a natural byproduct of longevity as a Christian. This book shows that spiritual maturity is not something that comes by accident, but rather is purposefully cultivated in one’s walk with the Lord.
Another really interesting aspect of the book was the concept of emotional maturity. This is not something I have heard referenced in church, but I appreciated the author’s transparency in stating the obvious fact that there are many spiritual leaders who are very immature emotionally. These are the ones others need to tiptoe around so as not to hurt their fragile ego. This book gives insight on how to become more emotionally mature. Super practical, super helpful, and desperately needed in our world today.
(Side note, it was a little difficult listening to the audiobook. He quoted entire sessions of a conference that Dallas Willard spoke at, and then commented and reflected on those sessions. I would have found it easier if there were two narrators for the audiobook. I think the paper copy would be easier to understand because of that one issue.)
Spiritual maturity is often assumed as a natural byproduct of longevity as a Christian. This book shows that spiritual maturity is not something that comes by accident, but rather is purposefully cultivated in one’s walk with the Lord.
Another really interesting aspect of the book was the concept of emotional maturity. This is not something I have heard referenced in church, but I appreciated the author’s transparency in stating the obvious fact that there are many spiritual leaders who are very immature emotionally. These are the ones others need to tiptoe around so as not to hurt their fragile ego. This book gives insight on how to become more emotionally mature. Super practical, super helpful, and desperately needed in our world today.
(Side note, it was a little difficult listening to the audiobook. He quoted entire sessions of a conference that Dallas Willard spoke at, and then commented and reflected on those sessions. I would have found it easier if there were two narrators for the audiobook. I think the paper copy would be easier to understand because of that one issue.)
December 15, 2020
This book had some ideas that were enlightening and likely very important. The book was unfortunately a bit of a teaser for the courses given by the author. Thus, any answers or solutions were only alluded to, rather than being dealt with in the book. However, the prime thesis of the book: attachment love as a (the?) necessary pieces for spiritual growth and maturity, was very interesting and well argued.
January 24, 2025
Reading Dallas Willard’s Renovation of the Heart needs to be a prerequisite read for understanding this book since the author is interacting with Willard’s work. Before Willard’s death, he and the author were going to fully develop more of these ideas, but Willard passed before that could take place.
December 31, 2024
Really thankful for brilliant neuroscientists and brilliant theologians who are able to make connections between the brain and faith. Learned so much about attachment style and how it relates to faith, as well as the difficulties in having a healthy attachment style when you have experienced trauma and pain. Wilder and Willard provide tangible solutions for growing and healing, and for that I’m grateful. This book really spoke to me in a way that has helped me understand the heart of God better.
February 2, 2025
Incredible ideas and information, presented well, combining brain development, attachment, maturity, spiritual disciplines, etc. I'm not sure I really understood and processed it all. I need to read it again and discuss and practice.
October 12, 2020
One of the most transformative books for our time, culture, & future of the Church.
October 19, 2020
Good content, belabored
I found the concepts in this book, namely that spiritual maturity is developed through developing the brain with the aid of "attachment love" and that the "fast track" brain needs to be given attention for spontaneous love to be learned, to be immensely valuable material for mediation.
However, I found that the author tended to repeat himself in many different ways and the book therefore suffers. It is unfortunate that the most enjoyable, clear parts of the book are those that are extended quotes of Dallas Willard, around which Wilder's arguments are based. It also took me most of the book to realize that Wilder was not going to synthesize his arguments into any sort of a strategy, which was disappointing. Feels a bit cheap that I've gotta go read another book now to see the concepts discussed in this one developed into applicable skills. In this book, they are held aloft as "the" key to maturity but explanations on how to implement them are elusive.
5 stars for concept and combining neurology and theology, -2 stars for repetitiveness, lack of clarity and lack of synthesized application
I found the concepts in this book, namely that spiritual maturity is developed through developing the brain with the aid of "attachment love" and that the "fast track" brain needs to be given attention for spontaneous love to be learned, to be immensely valuable material for mediation.
However, I found that the author tended to repeat himself in many different ways and the book therefore suffers. It is unfortunate that the most enjoyable, clear parts of the book are those that are extended quotes of Dallas Willard, around which Wilder's arguments are based. It also took me most of the book to realize that Wilder was not going to synthesize his arguments into any sort of a strategy, which was disappointing. Feels a bit cheap that I've gotta go read another book now to see the concepts discussed in this one developed into applicable skills. In this book, they are held aloft as "the" key to maturity but explanations on how to implement them are elusive.
5 stars for concept and combining neurology and theology, -2 stars for repetitiveness, lack of clarity and lack of synthesized application
December 23, 2020
This is one of the most difficult books to evaluate. I have read many of Dallas Willard's books and anticipated getting a lot out of this one. It turns out that every other chapter is from a presentation at the Heart and Soul Conference not long before Willard died. The alternating chapters are Jim Wilder's response and application of Willard to what is being learned in neuropsychology.
What is bothersome is that it seems like the concepts Wilder describes have roots in traditional Christian spirituality and he is simply giving new vocabulary to them. I guess it felt like learning the language of another tribe which I'm not really willing to do at this point in my life. It fits with the Quaker/Friends approach to spirituality and can be summed up as discipleship training for followers of Jesus. It was interesting to note that in the second appendix on resources I only recognized one name among all the authors cited. Truly Wilder lives in another tribe.
I can't really recommend the book. There are much better introductions to neuroscience and spirituality like Curt Thompson's Anatomy of the Soul. The topic is fascinating, but this is not the place to start.
What is bothersome is that it seems like the concepts Wilder describes have roots in traditional Christian spirituality and he is simply giving new vocabulary to them. I guess it felt like learning the language of another tribe which I'm not really willing to do at this point in my life. It fits with the Quaker/Friends approach to spirituality and can be summed up as discipleship training for followers of Jesus. It was interesting to note that in the second appendix on resources I only recognized one name among all the authors cited. Truly Wilder lives in another tribe.
I can't really recommend the book. There are much better introductions to neuroscience and spirituality like Curt Thompson's Anatomy of the Soul. The topic is fascinating, but this is not the place to start.
June 11, 2023
In this book Jim Wilder builds on the teachings of Dallas Willard regarding transformation by incorporating recent insights into brain science. Wilder suggests that transformation takes place in the "fast track" (subconscious thought developed by instinct and identity) rather than the "slow track" (rational thought, the will) of the brain.
Like Willard, Wilder holds to a broader understanding of salvation than merely sin management - going to heaven when we die. Salvation involves freedom from sin's rule over our hearts and lives. Transformation into a new creation is a part of our salvation. Transformation refers to spiritual maturity. But how does this transformation occur?
Willard developed a model referred to has VIM: Vision, Intention, and Means. Vision is a clear understanding of the life available in Christ. Intention is the decision of the will to pursue this life. And Means are the spiritual exercises we engage in to pursue and experience the Vision. Wilder suggests that this understanding of transformation takes place in the slow track whereas greater results will be seen if we develop the fast track. Wilder keeps the acronym, but substitutes Impetus for Intention. Our intentions are a function of the will, the slow, rational track. Impetus flows from the fast track. Impetus is intuitive and happens before we have time to "think" about it.
If maturity takes place primarily (or at least initially) in the fast track, this explains why so many fail to experience transformation by simply by practicing spiritual disciplines of prayer, Bible study, fasting, etc. These disciplines, if not understood correctly, focus on the slow track. The fast track is shaped by our attachments, which form our identities. In other words, who we love and who loves us shape us more than what we may claim to believe. In fact, our beliefs are more likely to be molded by our relational attachments than by doctrinal statements. Emotional and spiritual maturity are relational, and healthy relational attachments are essential in developing character. Wilder believes that we need to pursue not only doctrinal orthodoxy and practice spiritual disciplines, but we need to also develop healthy and mature relational skills.
Wilder describes "mutual mind" as a mind state where two people "share" a thought. This is the experience of feeling "she gets it" or of being seen as authentic or genuine. This can take place between two people, but spiritual transformation happens when it takes place between a person and God. He calls this "salvation by attachment" and is experienced by God's hesed or loyal lovingkindness (Hebrew). We cannot "will" ourselves to maturity. We can only love and be loved into maturity. The invitation given in Scripture is to enter into a relationship of mutual attachment with God through faith in Christ where the experience of God's love matures and transforms us. Spiritual disciplines, though not righteous acts in and of themselves, are wise in that they create the space for us to encounter God. Different disciplines can help in different areas, but silence and solitude are necessary for quieting the heart to hear and know God.
These insights impact our understanding of discipleship. Whereas much of our Christian education today focuses on what we think about God, as disciples of Jesus we learn to think with God. Wilder uses the story of Peter and John healing the lame man as an example of sharing a mutual mind with God - sharing God's thoughts in a situation. Wilder also talks about the importance of the Spirit and Christian fellowship by which the mind of Christ is developed in us. I would add the importance of Scripture to this process so that we don't embrace our own concepts of God, but let God speak and act for Himself.
The strength of this book is that it illustrates the importance of relationship in discipleship and becoming spiritually mature. A focus merely on doctrine, behavior, and spiritual disciplines will not get us far enough. In fact, simply focusing on these lead to "striving" - another word for spiritual burnout. We need mutual attachment with the Father through the Spirit to become like the Son. I'm not aware of another book that addresses this need so clearly and so well.
The weaknesses of the book are that Wilder doesn't go into depth regarding the specifics of relational skills and how to acquire them. I guess we have to buy his book on "The Life Model" to get that. However, the importance he places on mutual attachment in this book has convinced me enough to purchase "The Life Model."
A second weakness is that Wilder doesn't address the Trinity or incarnation in any depth. It seems to me that mutual attachment finds its origins in the Trinity and is expanded to include humanity through the incarnation. As a self-described "neurotheologian," Wilder comes down stronger on the neoro part than the "theo" part. The theology is there, but underdeveloped.
Third, and related to the second point, some may feel that Wilder places too much emphasis on brain development for spiritual maturity. While I'm certain there's more to this than I understand, I can't see how spiritual maturity wouldn't impact the brain.
Lastly, at times it felt as if Wilder was unnecessarily critiquing Willard when Willard has no opportunity to respond (he has passed away). Though Wilder said he largely agrees with Willard and Willard agreed with him, he mentions Willard not understanding brain science, etc. more than he needed to.
While this shouldn't be the only book you read on maturity and spiritual transformation, it should definitely be one of them.
Like Willard, Wilder holds to a broader understanding of salvation than merely sin management - going to heaven when we die. Salvation involves freedom from sin's rule over our hearts and lives. Transformation into a new creation is a part of our salvation. Transformation refers to spiritual maturity. But how does this transformation occur?
Willard developed a model referred to has VIM: Vision, Intention, and Means. Vision is a clear understanding of the life available in Christ. Intention is the decision of the will to pursue this life. And Means are the spiritual exercises we engage in to pursue and experience the Vision. Wilder suggests that this understanding of transformation takes place in the slow track whereas greater results will be seen if we develop the fast track. Wilder keeps the acronym, but substitutes Impetus for Intention. Our intentions are a function of the will, the slow, rational track. Impetus flows from the fast track. Impetus is intuitive and happens before we have time to "think" about it.
If maturity takes place primarily (or at least initially) in the fast track, this explains why so many fail to experience transformation by simply by practicing spiritual disciplines of prayer, Bible study, fasting, etc. These disciplines, if not understood correctly, focus on the slow track. The fast track is shaped by our attachments, which form our identities. In other words, who we love and who loves us shape us more than what we may claim to believe. In fact, our beliefs are more likely to be molded by our relational attachments than by doctrinal statements. Emotional and spiritual maturity are relational, and healthy relational attachments are essential in developing character. Wilder believes that we need to pursue not only doctrinal orthodoxy and practice spiritual disciplines, but we need to also develop healthy and mature relational skills.
Wilder describes "mutual mind" as a mind state where two people "share" a thought. This is the experience of feeling "she gets it" or of being seen as authentic or genuine. This can take place between two people, but spiritual transformation happens when it takes place between a person and God. He calls this "salvation by attachment" and is experienced by God's hesed or loyal lovingkindness (Hebrew). We cannot "will" ourselves to maturity. We can only love and be loved into maturity. The invitation given in Scripture is to enter into a relationship of mutual attachment with God through faith in Christ where the experience of God's love matures and transforms us. Spiritual disciplines, though not righteous acts in and of themselves, are wise in that they create the space for us to encounter God. Different disciplines can help in different areas, but silence and solitude are necessary for quieting the heart to hear and know God.
These insights impact our understanding of discipleship. Whereas much of our Christian education today focuses on what we think about God, as disciples of Jesus we learn to think with God. Wilder uses the story of Peter and John healing the lame man as an example of sharing a mutual mind with God - sharing God's thoughts in a situation. Wilder also talks about the importance of the Spirit and Christian fellowship by which the mind of Christ is developed in us. I would add the importance of Scripture to this process so that we don't embrace our own concepts of God, but let God speak and act for Himself.
The strength of this book is that it illustrates the importance of relationship in discipleship and becoming spiritually mature. A focus merely on doctrine, behavior, and spiritual disciplines will not get us far enough. In fact, simply focusing on these lead to "striving" - another word for spiritual burnout. We need mutual attachment with the Father through the Spirit to become like the Son. I'm not aware of another book that addresses this need so clearly and so well.
The weaknesses of the book are that Wilder doesn't go into depth regarding the specifics of relational skills and how to acquire them. I guess we have to buy his book on "The Life Model" to get that. However, the importance he places on mutual attachment in this book has convinced me enough to purchase "The Life Model."
A second weakness is that Wilder doesn't address the Trinity or incarnation in any depth. It seems to me that mutual attachment finds its origins in the Trinity and is expanded to include humanity through the incarnation. As a self-described "neurotheologian," Wilder comes down stronger on the neoro part than the "theo" part. The theology is there, but underdeveloped.
Third, and related to the second point, some may feel that Wilder places too much emphasis on brain development for spiritual maturity. While I'm certain there's more to this than I understand, I can't see how spiritual maturity wouldn't impact the brain.
Lastly, at times it felt as if Wilder was unnecessarily critiquing Willard when Willard has no opportunity to respond (he has passed away). Though Wilder said he largely agrees with Willard and Willard agreed with him, he mentions Willard not understanding brain science, etc. more than he needed to.
While this shouldn't be the only book you read on maturity and spiritual transformation, it should definitely be one of them.
October 30, 2020
I have a lot of Kindle highlights, so it was good, and if I read some other Jim Wilder stuff then I might get more out of it. The book felt kind of stuck between 'popular' writing and technical. But the chapters containing Dallas Willard's talks at the conference are awesome.
September 8, 2020
Ok. Wilder’s insights into attachment are helpful but his summary and representation of Willard’s thought is sorely wanting.
August 21, 2023
A bit wordy in parts...using jargon that made simple ideas unnecessarily more complex. But, overall, an interesting take on spiritual maturity and character development.
October 22, 2020
This book had a very interesting proposition. Our character is more shaped by whom we love rather than the beliefs we have or the decisions we make. The way to christlike character according to the author is through attachment to Jesus and His followers. The book is about taking ideas developed by Dallas Willard and tweaking them to make them more effective based on the idea of attachment in the Bible and what neuroscience tells us about how people change. One of the chapters titled "Thinking With God" was probably the best chapter I have read on spiritual life with God I have ever read. He talks about concepts in neuroscience such as "mutual mind" and how we experience mutual mind with people around us who we are attached to and how that shapes our character and identity. He then applies this to the idea of having a mutual mind with God, leading to God's thoughts radically changing your character by creating this loving attachment. In this chapter he makes a good case that attachment has a more powerful effect on our brain chemistry than beliefs and choices of the will. He suggests in the book that the spiritual disciplines Dallas Willard proposes focuses more on the functionality of the will rather than being informed by the idea of attachment leading to Christlikeness. The book at this point was definitely 5 stars for me. However, I was left incredibly disappointed by the lack of PRACTCAL application. Really disappointed. Some of the practices he suggested were very vague and did not compel me at all. I was expecting him to take the disciplines Dallas Willard has suggested and tweak them to help the disciple form attachments to God. After the really impressive chapter on thinking with God, I also found the book to be quite repetitive which was disappointing. I think the book is worth getting for the thinking with God chapter alone but the rest of the book is kind of average in terms of how the author engages with Dallas Willards ideas. The book also contained transcripts from sermons Dallas Willard gave at a conference which I found very good, particularly the transcript discussing the kingdom of God. Willard is one of the best at describing the nature and reality of the kingdom which makes you want to seek after God.
July 1, 2023
Jim Wilder knew Dallas Willard. Together, understanding attachment theory, they hypothesized about how salvation in Jesus could be considered, at heart, a new "attachment." And how experiencing that attachment as a loving, hesed, deep bond relationship could be truly foundational to personal growth and maturity*.
Wilder makes a compelling case for how many people learn head knowledge, facts, theology (left-brain activity) but don’t learn relational skills such as thinking-with, quieting yourself, healing attachment wounds (right-brain activity) that shape most of default, fast-track behavior.
To that end, he invites the reader to what he calls mutual mind with God, thinking *with* Him rather than about Him, and gives a handful of exercises to try to grow in that practice. It’s sitting with thankfulness long enough to change brain circuitry, for example, or maintaining a with-ness with God throughout the moments of your day.
So much of this book builds on what I've read from Curt Thompson (Anatomy of the Soul) or even Ann Voskamp (Way Maker). We are shaped more by our attachments (who we love, think with, feel part of) than we are by what we believe. Learning facts is slow-track behavior, doesn’t shape us the same way.
Lots to chew on and explore more here, especially: How is attachment different from co-regulating, if it is? How is it different from co-dependency? When we grow in our ability to view our enemies as “our people,”what does that look like?
*Fun side note: The appendix cites Ann Voskamp, Pete Scazerro and Charlotte Mason, among others
Wilder makes a compelling case for how many people learn head knowledge, facts, theology (left-brain activity) but don’t learn relational skills such as thinking-with, quieting yourself, healing attachment wounds (right-brain activity) that shape most of default, fast-track behavior.
To that end, he invites the reader to what he calls mutual mind with God, thinking *with* Him rather than about Him, and gives a handful of exercises to try to grow in that practice. It’s sitting with thankfulness long enough to change brain circuitry, for example, or maintaining a with-ness with God throughout the moments of your day.
So much of this book builds on what I've read from Curt Thompson (Anatomy of the Soul) or even Ann Voskamp (Way Maker). We are shaped more by our attachments (who we love, think with, feel part of) than we are by what we believe. Learning facts is slow-track behavior, doesn’t shape us the same way.
Lots to chew on and explore more here, especially: How is attachment different from co-regulating, if it is? How is it different from co-dependency? When we grow in our ability to view our enemies as “our people,”what does that look like?
*Fun side note: The appendix cites Ann Voskamp, Pete Scazerro and Charlotte Mason, among others
April 22, 2020
Renovated primarily introduces Jim Wilder's soteriology of attachment love with God and its relation to spiritual and emotional maturity. The book contains ten chapters with four of the ten (chapters 2, 4, 6, and 8) coming from talks Dallas Willard gave at the Heart and Soul Conference in 2012 on emotional and spiritual maturity. Willard's chapters draw on and expand material from Renovation of the Heart and The Spirit of the Disciplines. Wilder, who was also a speaker at the Heart and Soul Conference, relates Willard's chapters to current brain science and how that applies to emotional maturity. The fundamental theme of the work is the importance of attachment love with God and others and how that produces emotional and spiritual maturity defined by Willard's test of showing love toward one's enemies. Wilder also relates all of this to the Life Model, which can be found in his other books and many of the references given in this book. Overall, this book is an outstanding contribution to helping Christians mature and learn to love like Jesus and why this so often fails in today's church. My only criticism, which is minor, is that the book is a little disjointed going back and forth between the Willard and Wilder chapters. However, don't let small issues keep you from reading this outstanding book. I received a pdf advance copy of this book for the purpose of writing this review with the freedom to give my genuine opinion.
July 23, 2022
Wilder presents and develops the idea that salvation is the initiation of an attachment relationship with God, and that spiritual growth takes place primarily through the transforming power of that relationship.
Since the day I first read about attachment theory, it seemed clear to me that salvation gives us that kind of secure base for identity, exploration, and growth with God. Jim Wilder develops and supports this idea, with a specific focus on how secure attachment with God provides the primary push toward spiritual maturity. He develops this idea in dialogue with lectures on spiritual growth presented by Dallas Willard at a conference shortly before his death. Willard examines how spiritual disciplines set us up for spiritual growth, but do not produce the growth itself. Wilder then adds that the growth itself happens as we learn to relate to God in this new relationship—something that sometimes happens in conjunction with spiritual disciplines, but is not the discipline itself.
My one critique is that Wilder talks a lot about relational skills and how we need them, but then sort of leaves us hanging when it comes to what they are. I was ready for that in this book, but I guess I’ll have to read his other material for more on that and on the counseling model he and Jane Willard developed.
Since the day I first read about attachment theory, it seemed clear to me that salvation gives us that kind of secure base for identity, exploration, and growth with God. Jim Wilder develops and supports this idea, with a specific focus on how secure attachment with God provides the primary push toward spiritual maturity. He develops this idea in dialogue with lectures on spiritual growth presented by Dallas Willard at a conference shortly before his death. Willard examines how spiritual disciplines set us up for spiritual growth, but do not produce the growth itself. Wilder then adds that the growth itself happens as we learn to relate to God in this new relationship—something that sometimes happens in conjunction with spiritual disciplines, but is not the discipline itself.
My one critique is that Wilder talks a lot about relational skills and how we need them, but then sort of leaves us hanging when it comes to what they are. I was ready for that in this book, but I guess I’ll have to read his other material for more on that and on the counseling model he and Jane Willard developed.
June 21, 2024
This book felt repetitive, but it made a few seriously helpful points. The human brain is wired to build character faster by mutual mind state rather than focused conscious attention, thus having mutual mind state with Jesus through attachment love makes so much sense if we want to mature in our Christ-like character (or sanctification). Of course, the attachment love we experience with our friends and family should be experienced with our Father in heaven. This may seem like a given, but Jim Wilder articulates this necessity in our relationship with God in a way that involves both neuroscience and the teachings of the Bible. Jim Wilder also writes a couple of practical exercises to train your brain to think “with” God, not just “about” God. When Wilder first mentioned “thinking with God,” I thought it sounded a little suspicious. I thought, “perhaps he wants to be equal with God!” However, I quickly realized that, in context, he is referring to mutual mind state with God, which is a very good thing. The Bible teaches that eternal life is to know the one true God and the One whom He sent. Also, the Bible teaches the importance of God knowing us.
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April 2, 2020We often wonder why there are so many barriers to connecting with God. We want to experience the joy and connection Jesus said he has with his father and that he prayed we would have too. Jim Wilder, through his reflections on conversations with Dallas Willard, gives us a new language to explore what happens when we are exposed to the eternal love of God.
The neuroscience language for attachment love, which the book introduces, fits well with the biblical terms and provides many insights on how we experience connection with God and others. It is filled with practices God can use to transform us and the church toward emotional and spiritual maturity. In an age where the importance of relationship is so emphasized, this book can't be overlooked, as it maps out the many practical means God uses to renovate our hearts through connection with Him and others.
A promotional copy of the book was provided to the reviewer.
The neuroscience language for attachment love, which the book introduces, fits well with the biblical terms and provides many insights on how we experience connection with God and others. It is filled with practices God can use to transform us and the church toward emotional and spiritual maturity. In an age where the importance of relationship is so emphasized, this book can't be overlooked, as it maps out the many practical means God uses to renovate our hearts through connection with Him and others.
A promotional copy of the book was provided to the reviewer.
July 6, 2020
I think any way you can get people closer to God is a good thing. Everyone now is into neuro brain power and I guess let's try it with God. First off, whatever my views are, this is a good book to read for some insight. Dallas Willard does not belong up front title after God. The Holy spirit comes after God and then yes the Church. The title is all wrong. Dallas is just a man. talked a lot about the spirit, but he is not the spirit. Perhaps I am a bit cynical because I deal with brain surgeons. Brain surgeons don't talk about God. Not in my case anyway. Yes, the spirit is all through us, every part of us, even the brain. When the spirit alerts me, it is not in my brain. I feel Him in my arms. Everyone is different, that is how God made us. All different and all the same. I do like the olive illustration. I like the graph you put with it. Very good, there is God's neuroscience.
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