Navigating the Land of If: Understanding Infertility and Exploring Your Options

by Melissa Ford

Author of the extremely successful blog Stirrup Queens and Sperm Palace Jesters, Melissa Ford presents readers with a guide for navigating the complex world of infertility. The Land of If got its name not only because “IF” is the abbreviation for “infertility” in the online world, but also because there are so many “ifs” inherent in being here. No stranger to the Land of If herself, Ford shares her hard-earned knowledge and insights, helping couples struggling with infertility understand the lingo, learn the details doctors tend to leave out, and keep their emotional sanity despite seemingly insurmountable obstacles. Navigating the Land of If gives the nitty-gritty on injections, rejections, biting your tongue during happy parent-to-be conversations, and trying not to cry over baby shower invitations. With chapters that include how-to’s for same-sex couples, and present adoption or remaining child-free as plausible alternatives, Ford tells you exactly what you need to know, from one infertile to another.

Genres: Nonfiction

336 pages, Paperback

First published April 1, 2009

About the author

I never know what to put into one of these things. I mean, do I talk about my penchant for making up Yiddish words and trying to convince others that they’re real? My love of the penny whistle? My fears of white foods? Or do I tell you a tale about how I applied to my MFA program because I didn’t know what one did after college except remain in school indefinitely?

Long before I published my first book, I was a blogger, and I’m still a blogger to this day at the award-winning site, Stirrup Queens. Like my blogging character, Rachel Goldman, my own site was catapulted into a larger readership when the Wall Street Journal named it one of the top ten motherhood blogs. You can find me in all sorts of places around the Web including Facebook, Twitter, GoodReads, Google+, and Amazon.

I completed my MFA at the University of Massachusetts-Amherst. And I live outside of Washington, D.C. with my writer husband, Joshua, and our twins.

Reviews

[Desi · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good book! I read through most of it this morning. I felt it was well written and touched in the major issues about infertility, both for those who are first diagnosed, as well as those who are experiencing secondary infertility and beyond.

It is written very straightforward and clear, offering humorous tips along the way and other information that took us years to understand in entirety. This is a great book for those just discovering that they are subfertile or those who are still in the thick of it. Chapters are also included about how to decide if adoption is your option (and what your choices are there) as well as living child-free. (Though, for those interested in that as an option, I would recommend The Childless Revolution by Madelyn Cain.)

[Molly · Rating 5 out of 5]

Not only is Melissa Ford a pal of mine, she's an excellent guide to the uncertain land of infertility. What this book has that so many other books are missing is total inclusion -- of both male and female factor infertility, of "situational" infertility (same-sex couples, advanced maternal age), of those for whom fertility treatments and adoption aren't financially possible, etc. She covers it all, with compassion, humor, and impeccable information. Kudos, Mel. A fantastic read.

[Anna · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found this book indispensable, clear, informative and reassuring. Reading it made me feel as if there were options and paths ahead, when sometimes IF can feel like a dead end. Reading it was also part of facing up to the possibilities and getting ready for making important deicisions, part of arming myself with reliable information. I would strongly recommend it to anyone who finds themselves thinking that it 'might' be helpful.

[Rachel · Rating 4 out of 5]

A friendly, thorough book on dealing with infertility in all its aspects, from medical techniques, to emotional experiences, to dealing with clueless relatives and friends. It's like sitting down with a wise older friend who's been there, and knows how hard it can be. Definitely recommend.

[Tonya · Rating 4 out of 5]

I would recommend this to anyone dealing with infertility. The author dealt with many long bouts of infertility and is very frank and humorous in her writing. She breaks down all the standard difficulties those facing infertility deal with, and is empathetic and humorous.

[Wendy Cantu · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'll keep it short, but I needed this book. I'm so appreciative that the author wrote it. She hit the nail on the head: infertility is a whole different world and it's impossible to understand unless you're going through it. For the first time, I felt like someone "got it."

[Jen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Highly recommend this for anyone struggling with infertility, whether you are a new traveler or an old timer.

[jeng · Rating 4 out of 5]

A must read for all those struggling with infertility